Not-So-New Comics: The July 4 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Astonishing X-Men #13:  As excited as I am to see Rosenberg take some of my favorite X-Men -- particularly Dazzler and Havok -- off the shelf, this issue still brings with it some of the problems of the previous arc.  We're again dealing with a character -- then Professor X, now Havok -- who has supposedly returned but who isn't exactly their old self.  Here, Alex has allegedly been cured of his "inversion," but he's now "just" a raging asshole.  He ruins an Avengers operations by leaping into battle without enough information, tries to recruit Kitty's students for a new team without running it by her first, and tells Beast the two of them have disappointed everyone they've ever known.  If Rosenberg's goal is convincing me he isn't himself, he's succeeding.  That said, almost everyone else is also an asshole, too:  Tony Stark is incredibly hostile to Alex in a mutantphobic way, and Kitty apparently doesn't believe Alex's moral code was inverted (even though she seemingly had no problem with her ex-fiancé's turn as a destructive Phoenix).  At some point, I'm going to have to start rooting for some character Rosenberg writes.  Otherwise, I'm going to drop this series, Dazzler or no Dazzler.

Avengers #4:  I’ll admit I’m confused at this point.  She-Hulk and Thor retrieve a vial containing Ymir's blood from Asgard’s treasury, and Thor seems to think it can help fight the Final Host.  However, Odin is skeptical.  Dr. Strange and Tony discover the Eternals have killed each other after some sort of rage; with his dying breath, Ikaris tells Tony the Celestials intended for them not to watch over humanity but to “cultivate” them as a pathogen.  Ikaris does...something to Tony, telling him only the Uni-Mind can stop the Horde.  Meanwhile, Carol and T’Challa learn the Horde vibrate on the same frequency as the Dark Celestials.  Beyond all that?  I’m not really sure.  Loki tells Cap something about the Progenitor, but I didn’t totally follow.  Aaron is a good enough author that I'm sure he'll get us an explanation soon, but I admit I'm a little impatient at this point.

Batman #50:  I'm working on a piece that attempts to synthesize this issue and "X-Men Gold" #30 into a dissent to DC and Marvel refusing to allow their characters to grow.  For now, I'd say simply that I'm not quite sure how much long I'll be reading the Bat-books.

Captain America #1:  I eventually stopped reading Coates’ “Black Panther” when it started to feel more like an obligation than a pleasure.  The ideas were great, as Coates forced T'Challa to confront his innate acceptance of his right to rule.  However, the execution was...boring.  Coates is much stronger here.  First, his Steve Rogers is more human than Waid’s and more recognizable than Spencer’s.  I can’t remember the last time we really saw Steve struggling with something; even Remender had Steve accept his fate in Dimension Z too heroically.  Here, Steve is still reeling from the fact America doesn’t trust him, an outcome of “Secret Empire” I honestly thought Marvel was just going to ignore, given Waid’s lack of focus on it.  But, Coates isn't just tell a story about Steve needing to earn back America's trust.  Coates makes it more difficult by (correctly) asserting this particular occasion isn’t really a match for Steve's skillset.  General Ross calls Sharon off the bench because he needs her to look through the chaos that consumes the post-S.H.I.E.L.D., now-Trump Washington so they can take on America’s enemies.  Steve might make short work of the Nuke cyborgs that start blowing up Washington in this issue, but it’s going to be Sharon’s tradecraft that finds out why they were dispatched in the first place.  It leaves Steve feeling adrift at a time when he needs a mission to justify the trust he thinks America should have in him.  That's a story I'm excited about reading.  But, Trump’s presence is also felt elsewhere, as two mysterious figures take on a HYDRA dissident group in Russia.  In so doing, Coates reminds us it’s not just American-based threats that have pushed us into the chaos of the moment; Russia helped.

Nightwing #46:  Percy is telling a pretty solid story here, as he brings our fears that technology is starting to control us to their logical conclusion.  That said, I'm still not sure how Mirage's technology works.  In his initial struggle with Wyrm, Dick implies he faces a Matrix-esque decision:  he can live in the virtual reality the Phantasm device offers him at a cost of his memories or he can fight it.  I'll be honest that he doesn't really seem to have a choice here; after all, Wyrm's spiders have taken over his neural network.  He tries to destroy the Phantasm device, but Wyrm uses his control over Dick to prevent him from doing so.  Instead, Dick jumps out the window and that apparently does the trick?  Presumably the spiders lost their power over him when he moved outside Wyrm's wireless range, but I'm not sure how he managed to override them long enough to get there in the first place.  At any rate, Babs saves him from his fall as she was sufficiently disturbed by the Phantasm device to make haste to Blüdhaven.  Not surprisingly, they learn Dick's new client is likely behind the scheme and he seems to be killing off his former classmates.  (The only problem here is that he looks about 16 years old and his former classmates look like they're thirty years older than him.)  Although the details are somewhat lacking, Percy is still telling an interesting story that forces us to think about what sort of freedom we'd be willing to surrender to live in the "perfect" city.  If he can explain away some of the questions I have here, it'll be a solid start to his run.

Star Wars #50:  I was waiting throughout this issue for Leia to show that she knew Trios to be a traitor.  At some point, I expected Trios to be exulting in her plan, only for Han and Luke to appear before her, revealing Leia had suspected her of treachery all along.  Maybe General Organa of "Star Wars:  The Last Jedi" would've seen that coming.  But, Gillen reminds us we're dealing with a different Leia.  General Organa becomes the woman she is because this Leia learns the lesson she learns here.  Gillen masterfully builds the tension throughout the issue; as the title of this arc ("Hope Dies") implies, I lose hope as Willard's ship explodes, proving Leia has been fooled.  I cannot wait to see where we go from here.

X-Men:  Gold #31:  Despite Kitty's assertion to Piotr that she explained why she couldn't marry him, I'm still not really sure what that explanation is.  Guggenheim implies Colossus understands, but it would help if I, the reader, did.  All she told him last issue is their history prevented her from marrying him, because history, not love, is the foundation of a marriage.  That didn't make sense to me last issue, and it still doesn't make sense to me now.  But, whatever.  Piotr exits, stage right, and Guggenheim throws us immediately into addressing Rachel's recent changes.  We learn Mesmero has been manipulating her for months, which seems like a stretch.  Has Mesmero always been this powerful?  Really?  At any rate, he immerses Rachel fully into her hound persona, and she hunts down the other X-Men as if she were in "Days of Future Past."  I can't say it was a terrible issue; it's definitely better than the previous arcs.  But, I just feel like we keep drifting randomly from story to story with no real sense of coherence.  With only five issues left in this series, I guess it doesn't really matter.

Also Read:  Avengers #4; Ben Reilly:  Scarlet Spider #21; Dungeons & Dragons:  Evil at Baldur's Gate #2; Infinity Countdown:  Champions #2

New-ish Comics: The June 27 Everyone-but-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman:  Prelude to the Wedding - Harley vs. Joker #1:  We learn the answer to the question many of us have been asking since “Batman” #49:  if Joker died in that issue, how is he alive here?  The answer is disappointing:  he’s not.  I mean, he is alive here, but this issue precedes issue #49.  I don’t know why DC didn’t ship this issue in time, but it really undermines what otherwise is yet another great story on Seeley’s part.  Harley is trying to prevent Joker from ruining the wedding because she wants to see a fairy tale come true, just once.  For his part, Joker lets her capture him because he admits he’s always been jealous of her death traps, and he needed inspiration for the one he planned for the wedding.  It’s a classic struggle, particularly with the revelation Joker was in control the entire time.  But, if you’ve read issue #49, you spend most of this issue wondering when it takes place, because Joker is (theoretically) dead.  It’s one of the too frequent examples of a creative team’s work being undermined by forces outside their control.

Detective Comics #983:  I don’t remember Black Lightning’s failure in “Dark Days:  The Forge” that Bruce mentions here, but it's pretty clear he's re-forming the Outsiders despite this failure.  If you’re worried the Bat-family already has enough people, you’re not alone:  an OMAC lookalike seems intent on killing members of the Bat-family for making “him” weaker.  In a way, it seems to be a rehash of Joker’s crusade in “Death of the Family” (though I'm not entirely convinced the "he" OMAC mentions here is Bruce).  Right now, it’s unclear how his war on the Bat-family will mesh with Batman pulling together the Outsiders, other than the possibility the villain isn't aware of them and they'll need to save the day.  We shall see.

The Realm #7:  Well, everything goes from bad to worse here.  Will and Molly agree they’re nervous of proceeding without Rook, but they had little choice as Rook made it clear she was traveling with Ben (as we saw last issue).  Her absence is almost immediately felt when Will trips down a ravine in search of water and gets kidnapped by creatures that look like a cross between Ewoks and nuclear reactors.  The group descends the ravine to find Will, but they're surprised when he's gone without a trace.  In their search, David reveals his power to the group when he uses it (whatever it is) to open the door of a temple.  (Earlier, he told them he sensed Will had been kidnapped.)  With only Eli, Molly, and Zack with him, the odds aren’t in their favor, I have to say.  Meanwhile, scary bloody lady from last issue reveals she’s been sent to check on Johny Eldritch, and he’s none too happy about it.

Also Read:  Pathfinder:  Spiral of Bones #4

New-ish Comics: The June 27 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Infinity Countdown:  Darkhawk #3:  Seriously how many times can Marvel ret-con Darkhawk’s origin?  We learn here the Gardener, one of the Elders of the Universe, created the Tree of Shadows.  He was obsessed with seeing where he could grow life, and he saw the Darkforce Dimension as a challenge.  He apparently forgot about the Tree after planting it.  However, millennia later, the Shi’ar and Skrulls somehow discovered it and fought over it.  A Shi’ar soldier gets to the Tree first and steals a seed, and it somehow transforms him into a set of “living armor.”  (I'm definitely not sure how that happened.  Did his armor take over his body?  If so, how and why did the Tree make that happen?)  Moreover, the soldier observes the Skrulls changing shape, which somehow allows him to change shape?  I don’t know.  At any rate, he seems to be the first Raptor.  Chris gets this information from Razor, who was supposedly dead but whose essence is apparently still rattling around wherever Chris’ consciousness/soul is.  Along those lines, I think the amulet is Chris' soul now?  He mentions how his soul is powering Starhawk; since Robbie became Starhawk when he got his hands on the amulet, the transitive property means Chris' soul is the amulet.  At any rate, Razor’s pep talk here means Chris can suddenly alter his armor again.  This time, he sheds his former armor like a skin and becomes a new set of armor that can turn into a ship.  I don't know.  This whole story just feels like a mess.

Multiple Man #1:  "Dammit, Jamie!  Stuff like this is why everyone finds you so annoying!"  Truer words, Beast, truer words.  The new New Mutants find one of Jamie's dupes in a sealed-off lab, though we're never told why they're looking for the lab in the first place.  It turns out this dupe had all of Jamie's science abilities and was trying to create a serum that would stabilize dupes and let them live independently from Jamie, in cases just like this one, where Jamie Prime is dead.  However, he's not as smart as Beast, so the serum only works temporarily.  As Beast works to stabilize the serum, Jamie swipes Bishop's time-travel device and heads to the future.  He returns almost immediately to stop something (we're not sure what yet) from happening, and he unexpectedly brings back versions of himself who are also Cable, Deadpool, Dr. Strange, and Hulk.  Yeah, it's confusing.  At this stage, Rosenberg hasn't hinted Jamie Prime survived the Terrigen Mists, so we're left to assume Jamie Prime is really dead.  But, that said, if Jamie could travel to the future, why not travel to the past, grab Jamie Prime, travel back to the present (skipping the Terrigen Mists), and have him reabsorb Jamie?  Anyone?

Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #306:  I've said it before and I'll say it again: this title is the Spider-Man title.  From his fresh take on JJJ, Jr. to his introduction of new characters (like Teresa), Zdarsky is telling a modern Spider-Man tale, not entangled in all the usual clichés and tropes Spider-Man carries with him after 55 years.  But, it's still a Spider-Man story at its heart.  In the present, Daredevil leads Peter and the gang to the Resistance's secret base in the Baxter Building.  There, T'Challa analyzes the device the Vedomi scout gave Peter and reveals it's a capsule that connects a biological consciousness with the Vedomi's hivemind.  The connected person would then be able to override the Vedomi's directive, making them see Earth as an empty planet.  Before anyone can react, Peter opens the capsule and absorbs the programming.  It allows him full access to his memories, including his parents.  He's overwhelmed, but Teresa encourages him to embrace it, a reminder that he needs to save the people who love him.  (He sees MJ at one point, and I wonder if the editors would let Zdarsky have Peter remember the deal with Mephisto...)  At any rate, these sequences are what makes this story a Spider-Man story, grounded as they are in Peter Parker and his experiences.  He tells Teresa he's not going to survive this adventure, since his body is overheating due to the presence of the programming.  He makes his way onto the ship, but, before he can merge with the core, the Tinkerer appears.  (Earlier he had hacked into Ironheart's armor and used her as a ride to the ship.)  Dun-dun-DUN!  Zdarsky even manages to upgrade the Tinkerer here into a threat in and of himself.  I'll admit I rolled my eyes at the claim that Peter is going to die, but, otherwise, Zdarsky is telling a great story here.  Whereas I'm bored of the similarly long "Daredevil" arc about Wilson Fisk as Mayor of New York, Zdarsky has managed to keep this tale fresh as we enter the last act.

Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra #21:  Spurrier is clearly writing for the trade, because I had to re-read last issue and this one just to get a basic sense of the plot.  But, it's not just because there are twists and turns, because twists and turns are good.  It's because it's all lost in a variety of technical mumbo-jumbo that I find hard to understand but is unfortunately key to understanding the plot.  Moreover, the technical mumbo-jumbo consists of a string of overly convenient developments that even Aphra seems unlikely to be able to arrange.  This title keeps creeping down my list, to be honest.

X-Men:  Blue #30:  These two issues have just been uncharacteristically terrible.  I barely care about Jimmy let alone Jimmy as the central figure in a storyline that continues from a cross-over event I didn't read.  It's like a particularly bad hangover.  Like last issue, this issue focuses on Jimmy as a Poison, something we're supposed to believe means he's functionally dead.  Yet, Bunn has already shown Jean was able to resurrect herself, so it's clear Jimmy will be able to do so, too.  As such, I'm not sure why Bunn made the decision to extend this story, when he has much more interesting ones to tell.  Whatever.  This series ends in six issues anyway.

Also Read:  Marvel 2-in-One #7; Ms. Marvel #31; Old Man Hawkeye #6; Star Wars:  Lando - Double or Nothing #2; Thor #2

New Mutants #8: "The Road to...Rome?"

Summary
Rahne stalks her prey through the Amazon jungle:  namely, Dani!  Despite the fact they're playing "hide and seek," Dani is angry at Rahne for startling her, fearful she'd inadvertently activate her powers.  (They probably shouldn't play hide-and-seek anymore then.)  However, she cuts off her tirade after Rahne almost faints from the heat.  Dani attempts to strip off Rahne's uniform, but she declares "'tis ni' proper" given the boys' proximity.  Speaking of the boys, Sam is concerned Rahne hasn't found them yet, but Bobby assures him they'll be fine.  They're surprised when they find her, as she's rolling in a snowstorm Dani created to cool her off a bit.  Realizing their game is over, Sam uses the Amazon to practice his powers and, namely, his ability to maneuver.  Sam is ecstatic to use his powers with abandon, but he loses focus and knocks over a tree.  Bobby uses his powers to destroy it before it hits him and the girls.  Angry at a sheepish-looking Sam for damaging the forest so, Bobby sets up the satellite-communication system with the Professor.  Bobby asks about Xi'an, and the Professor tells them they need to accept she's gone.  Bobby asks if they should return home, but Xavier says he's got his hands full with the new X-Men arrivals and training Team America.  (Them again?)

Returning to where their boat is located, the New Mutants discuss their frustration with the Professor's lack of concern over Xi'an.  Dani is convinced he's not telling them something, whereas Bobby just thinks he doesn't care.  Dani admits she would've agreed with him once, but now she wonders if he's trying to protect them.  Sam asks what he could be hiding from them, noting, not unreasonably, he should trust them if he cares about them as much as Dani implies.  Bobby laments the Professor and the other X-Men not taking them seriously, as they dismiss them as "X-babies."  They arrive at the shore and see their boat in the river.  Bobby posits it'll take the boat a half-hour to collect them, but Dani jumps into the water to swim to it.  A mustachioed man on the boat watches Dani jump into the water and recalls a comment Bobby made to the team earlier, about following his mother's guidelines for staying safe in the Amazon.  The man throws in some chum, attracting piranhas.  Dani sees the churn and realizes she's made a deadly mistake.  She uses her powers to distract them and calls for Sam to help.  Bobby is concerned he'll reveal his powers to the crew, but Sam wisely realizes Dani's in too much trouble to worry about that.

Sam grabs Dani hand as he rockets over her and pulls her to safety, but he struggles to find a place to land, crashing them into a river bank in front of some indigenous women carrying shields and spears.  One of them women kicks Sam in the face and he shouts a warning to Dani, who manages to hurl one of the women into the two remaining women.  Dani realizes they don't seem to be spoiling for a fight.  The three women Dani faced flee, but Sam is grappling with the fourth one.  Dani observes the tribe was watching the boat, and they take the woman with them in the hope Bobby's mom can understand what she's saying.  On the boat, the crew is upset over the revelation Sam and possibly his friends are "freaks," but the mustachioed man vouches for them.  The captain thanks the man, named Castro, for his support and orders the crew to get the boat moving before the indigenous people return.

That night, the kid are with Bobby's mom and the indigenous woman.  Nina has tried all the dialects she knows, but the woman isn't talking.  The woman was carrying two different types of arrows, one indigenous to the Madería and one from Perú.  But, she's neither indigenous to this area nor Peruvian.  She's also carrying a steel dagger of modern design, which Nina hasn't seen among any Amazonian tribes.  Meanwhile, on the banks, the indigenous women have returned with reinforcements, with one of them warning the others to avoid the men's rifles.  However, another woman tells the other women to put down their arrows, because they can't risk "Lady Amara's" life.  For now, they're watching until Amara sends the signal to attack.  Meanwhile, in Rio, Emanuel da Costa once again complains one of Shaw's agents (this time, Castro) is incompetent and observes it isn't an inducement to join the Hellfire Club.  Once again, Shaw notes how complicated the task is given da Costa's insistence they don't hurt Nina or Bobby.  Da Costa is agitated because he wants access to the "mineralogical treasure trove of incalculable dimensions" that is the Madería, telling Shaw the "wealth of empire" is within his grasp.  Da Costa pledges not to let anything stand in his way, and Shaw expresses surprise, saying he thought da Costa still loved Nina.  Da Costa responds feelings have nothing to do with business, observing Nina wouldn't be in trouble if she stayed home and behaved as a proper wife.  He then brings in some scantily clad women for "entertainment."  (A real gem, Emanuel.)

Back on the boat, Nina informs the kids they've reached the Madería and, in a day, they'll start hiking in its cloud-topped mountains.  Dani is impressed, even given the mountains at home in Colorado.  Foreshadowingly, the captain informs the kids that legend says "a city of gold ruled by gods from the other side of the world" exists in the valleys.  But, all the expeditions to find it have disappeared without a trace.  Rahne and Sam wryly note it's not exactly the vacation they were hoping to have, and the captain responds they're just stories.  (Dani then notes all legends are based in fact.)  At the upcoming fork, the captain ominously says they'll avoid one of the tributaries because of its strong rapids.  Later, Rahne is bringing food to Amara (and hoping the mountains are cooler than the river) whereupon she discovers Castro beating her for information.  Rahne tries to stop him, telling him Nina said Amara was not to be harmed.  He belts Rahne across the face and tells her to "run along" before he starts on her.  Rahne turns into wolf form and chases him from the room.  Rahne frees Amara and says her name is Rahne, and Amara responds by simply saying, "Rain."  Rahne then has a full-on breakdown, crying over Castro's horrified look as she transformed.  It reminds her of the look on people's faces in Scotland when her powers manifested, when people she knew her whole life suddenly believed her to be a monster.  She wonders sometimes if she isn't a monster and tells Amara sometimes she thinks she should remain a wolf forever.  Rahne asks Amara if she understood a word she said, and Amara simply repeats her name.  Satisfied, Rahne leaves to find Nina, but stumbles upon the captain dead of an arrow wound.  She's shocked, but she then discovers Castro, who knocks her unconscious with the butt of his gun.

She later awakens in a room with the other New Mutants and Nina, as Bobby is also coming to consciousness.  He wonders why Castro didn't kill them and smashes through the wall to escape.  He then wonders if the crew is allied with Castro because they're mutants, but then realizes Castro's attack could be related to the attempt on his mother's life last issue.  He makes his way to the bridge and realizes the boat is adrift and going down the tributary with the falls.  Finding the captain dead, Bobby tries to gun the engines to power the boat to the banks, but he realizes the engines are dead.  He calls to Rahne to wake up everyone as they plummet over the rapids!

The cold water wakes up Sam, who grabs Dani.  (Dani hilariously comments it's becoming a habit.)  Bobby makes his way to his mother, who's grabbing a rock in the river, but he's knocked for a loop by a piece of wreckage.  He mumbles his mother's name as he falls beneath the waves and Sam plunges into the water to save him.  He notes he doesn't see hide-nor-hair of Bobby's mother as Rahne uses her powers to skip over rocks to get to Amara.  She fights the current to pull Amara to safety, but she's shocked when she sees Amara is a blond white girl.  She tells Amara she can barely hold her and needs help and is shocked again when Amara responds in English.  Rahne is enraged that Amara listened to her confession, as it's something she wouldn't have even told her best friend.  But, despite the betrayal, she can't let her die, so Rahne shifts to her transitional form to pull Amara to the rock.  Sam flies by Rahne, asking who Amara is and if she's seen Nina.  Rahne confirms it's Amara (to Sam's surprise) and also that she hasn't seen Nina.  Sam uses his powers to bring Amara and Rahne to the bank where Bobby and Danny are waiting.  Bobby is beside himself when he learns they can't find Nina, and Sam tries to comfort him.  But, they're surprised when a group of Roman Centurions tells them to stand where they are and inform them they're now "slaves of Imperial Rome."

The Review
This issue starts the Nova Roma arc as Claremont essentially resumes the story he had been telling before the weird Team America detour in issues #5-#6.  The kids are again faced with challenges that force them to push their powers to the limit, all while Professor X remains nowhere to be seen.

- The snowstorm feels like part of the continuing evolution of Dani's powers.  It's consistent with her powers as we've previously seen, where she's able to create lifelike holograms that other people -- not just the intended recipient -- can see.  It also builds on her display last issue, where she pulled specific images from the Hellfire goon's minds.

- Charles continues to make a run at "worst teach of the year" here.  He decides he's too busy with Team America to train the New Mutants, instead sending them into the Amazon under the care of Bobby's absentee mother.  Given Bobby and Sam could both level buildings with their powers, it seems odd he'd instead focus on a group of adults who use their powers to form...a motorcycle rider.  I'm also not sure exactly what training he's giving Team America.  After all, all they can do is summon the Black Rider.  They don't seem to need exhaustive training (as they seem to get here, as they sweat profusely) to do that.  Thankfully, we don't seem ever to see them again.  But, man, they were the worst.

- The boat is allegedly 30 minutes from the banks where the New Mutants are standing, but it looks much closer.  Also, Dani decides to swim to it, something she presumably wouldn't have done if it really was 30 minutes from where they were standing.

- Emanuel needs to make up his damn mind:  he either wants Bobby and Nina to be safe or not.  He keeps telling Shaw that his failure to foil Nina's plans aren't an inducement for him to join the Hellfire Club, but I honestly have no idea what he wants Shaw to do.  Keep them indefinitely in a dungeon?  Given Emanuel doesn't seem to have any ideas either, I'm not sure why Shaw would want Emanuel in the Hellfire Club.  Moreover, he claimed last issue that he loved Nina, but the high-end hookers he hires here don't really support that claim.  Finally, I'm also not sure why Nina's expedition is so dangerous.  Does Emanuel know something we don't?  Otherwise, I'm not sure what Nina could find that would prevent him from exploiting the Madería's natural resources.

- I still don't get why Dani and Sam take Amara captive or, as Bobby himself says, why Castro didn't kill them outright?  I mean, I get the answer is "plot device," but Claremont is usually better than that.

New-ish Comics: The June 20 DC Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman #49:  Usually, if I have a problem with King's writing, it's because he goes a little too Jonathan Hickman.  By that, I mean he exaggerates his economy of words to such an extent that it's unclear what he was trying to convey.  Here, we have the opposite problem.  Catwoman and Joker lie on the floor of the ruined church, clutching the wounds they gave each other to prevent themselves from bleeding to death.  So, despite Catwoman having clawed out his throat, Joker is able to hold up his end of a chatty conversation.  He insists Batman can't be both Batman and happy, and it's why he opposes the wedding:  if Selina makes Batman happy, Joker will lose his north star.  (For her part, Selina is able to hold up her end of the conversation despite a gun shot to the stomach.)  But, the final sequence is a little...much.  I had to re-read the issue to realize Selina's hysterical laughter in the last panel implies she won, taking Joker off the board.  But, are we really supposed to believe Joker is dead?  After all this time and all those deaths?  Plus, if he is, isn't Batman going to be furious?  The whole point of him and Selina going to Khandaq a few issues ago was because Selina wasn't the killer the authorities and public believed her to be; she needed the friend who actually committed the murders to confess to them.  But, it's OK for her to murder Joker now?  It seems unlikely Bruce is going to be OK with that.  Plus, it's problematic at this stage that we're getting almost all our information about the wedding from non-"Batman" sources, particularly the "Batman:  Prelude to the Wedding" miniseries.  If you were just reading this title, you'd really have very little context, after this arc and the terrible Booster Gold story.  I also still don't fully understand what King plans.  Is Bruce not going to marry Selina because she killed Joker?  Is all this hoopla really over a fake-y "superhero" wedding?  I can't have two of them in one month.

Batman:  Prelude to the Wedding - Red Hood vs. Anarky #1:  The fact Bruce asks Jason to keep an eye on Selina while he attends his bachelor party with Clark and Dick is a pretty good summary of their relationship.  But, Jason says he's honored in his own way, though not honored enough not to ask for $150,000, which he later uses to buy off the mob Anarky assembled.  (Lonnie is clever, I have to say.  He convinced everyone in the mob that she was meeting people who thought like her for a rally.  Instead, Lonnie assembled a series of groups with wide-ranging and conflicting beliefs and planned explosions to scare them.  As their fear hit a crescendo, he'd use the Anarky masks he sent them to show their affiliations, kicking off a riot.  Pretty brilliant, I have to say.)  The highlight of the issue is Jason punching out Lonnie as he laments how he was just a street kid who couldn't do anything right.  No one deserved that punch more.  I'm increasingly wondering why Seeley isn't writing all the Bat-family books, because I would 100 percent read his "Red Hood and the Outsiders."  His Jason is all about repression, where you feel his struggle to control himself to stay on the side of angels.  (He must do a lot of yoga.)  I'd love to read that Jason.

The Wild Storm #14:  I'm not sure how, but it was only as Alex Fairchild was describing her Thunderbook implant rewarding her violence with strength that I realized Michael Cray was also a member of Thunderbook.  Based on the Wikipedia entry of Team 7, long-time Wildstorm readers obviously put together a long-time ago that Lynch is contacting former members of the team, as he does here with Alex.  His intentions are unclear, but we know he's going to go find Alex's daughter Caitlin...dun dun DUN!  Lynch mourns Alex here as she heads on a suicidal mission to take out the gang that harasses her adopted town, and Ellis hints pretty clear that she's doing it in part to silence the Thunderbook implant after too many years with it.  It's possibly the first time we've seen real emotions from him, and maybe he really is just on a mercy mission.  (Davis-Hunt and Buccellato have perhaps never been better than they are here, using the gorgeous emptiness of the Utah desert as a metaphor for Fairchild's lostness.  Moreover, the simple gestures Alex and Lynch use throughout their conversation make you forgot you're reading a comic and not actually witnessing two people chatting.)  Meanwhile, Miles warns a screaming Bendix that his crimes against IO -- hitting Hightower station, invading his servers, and killing Mitch -- results in this one warning.  Elsewhere, the Doctor cures the Mayor of his illness (which seems to drive his need to eat cities' pollution), and Slayton (I think) encounters a Skywatch "altered person," confirming his suspicion IO wasn't the only one to create them.

New-ish Comics: The June 20 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #801:  This issue is lovely.  As I mentioned in my review of last issue, I have a complicated relationship with Dan Slott.  After I wrote that, though, I realized you have to have a complicated relationship with someone after ten years.  The people who claim they loved every issue of the 180-issue run?  I either don’t believe them or don’t think they’re paying that much attention.  Like Dan says, I’ve loved Spider-Man since I was eight years old, and I take that relationship seriously.  I couldn’t possibly love everything Dan did here.  In fact, the only real umbrage I took with Dan is the period when he implied if I didn’t love his work I didn’t love Spider-Man.  Thankfully, Dan moved off that position, and we’re better for it.  It’s like a relationship after successful couple’s therapy.  The scars are there, but you don’t focus on them anymore.  These last few issues — from “Go Down Swinging” to this one — are a reminder of the best Dan Slott had to offer, and I’m glad we got to go out this way.  Happy trails, Dan!

Avengers #3:  We don’t really learn too much here, to be honest.  Instead, everyone breaks into teams specifically to find out more.  Loki kidnaps Cap and takes him on an exposition tour of the situation, showing him the “Progenitor” Celestial at the center of the Earth who’s allegedly the cause of the current problems.  Carol and T’Challa head to Alpha Flight to learn more about the bugs emerging from the center of the Earth (the ones Dr. Strange and T'Challa fought last issue).  Tony takes Dr. Strange with him to see the Eternals and learn more about the dead Celestials.  Thor and She-Hulk go interrogate Odin about his role in the death of the Celestial that he and his Prehistoric Avengers allegedly killed.  Finally, Robbie hopes his car can track down Dark Celestials.  (I guess the car is his partner?)  All in all?  That's a bold move, Cotton.  Let’s see how it plays out.

Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider #20:  I’ll admit I’m reading this series mostly from a sense of obligation at this point.  But, the good news is this issue is fun, and the surprise revelation at the end could set up a fun few issues.  (Hopefully.)  But, this Abigail storyline has to wrap up soon.  I don’t even understand why Ben is still working on it.  First, his face appears healed here, presumably after his heroics during “Damnation.”  I get that helping Abigail will help his soul, but he could probably do countless other things on a larger scale that would accomplish the same goal more quickly. I don’t understand why we’re stuck with this one.

Captain America #704:  OMG, this issue is a mess.  Man, I am glad Coates is coming soon.

Jack has somehow commandeered a laboratory that is conveniently full of scientists who know how to run a machine that can read Pursur's mind.  Jack has apparently deduced the Super-Soldier Serum is deadly to anyone with a Kree gene after he realized it was killing his son, Steve.  (Steve apparently has a recessive Kree gene, but we're never told which of Jack's ancestors mated with a Kree.  Whatever.  We have bigger fish to fry here.)  For some reason, after realizing the Serum was deadly to the Kree, Pursur decided to expose every human to the Serum rather than destroy it.  Jack says it's because destroying it would've raised "flags," but Waid never explains why exposing all of humanity to it was Pursur's only other option.  Plus, I'm still not sure what exposing humanity to the Serum accomplished for the Kree.  If they're all sleeper agents, why not activate them to prevent them from rioting and then use them against the Skull?  I mean, what's the point of sleeper agents if you can't activate them in time of distress?  Don't you have sleeper agents to avoid exactly the outcome we have here, where the Kree are forced to send its armada such a long distance to quell an uprising?  Anyway, Jack hopes to torture Pursur into revealing the locations of the storage facilities containing the Serum, but Pursur withstands the assault.  Jack then just uses his miraculous technology to painfully rip the information from Pursur's mind, uttering only a caustic "Pity" as he does so.  (Yeah, I'm definitely rooting for this guy, Waid.  He's a real winner.)

Meanwhile, we learn the Red Skull was able to broadcast Jack's message to all humanity last issue because somehow Jack's attack on the Cube imbued the Red Skull with its powers.  (That wasn't clear to me last issue.)  As such, he's now single-handedly taking on the Kree armada.  However, Jack realizes he can't do it alone, so, once he gets access to the Serum, he uses it to create large-scale chemical weapons and commits genocide on the Kree.  (Steve would def approve, Jack.)  With the Kree devastated, he then tries to warn the United States about the Skull, but the Skull stops him before he can.  He asks the Skull to honor their deal for the Skull to save his son, but the Skull refuses.  Although Jack was seemingly running the military base where the mind-reading machine was held, he now  claims he's a fugitive who would be killed by the first soldier who sees him.  I'm not really sure why, though.  He claims it's because he's collaborating with the Skull, but the whole problem is no one is aware of the Skull's existence.  If they were, Jack wouldn't need to rally them to his cause.  Anyway, Jack tells the Skull he'll capitulate to save his son, and the Skull is willing to accept his capitulation as a sign he won the war with Steve Rogers.  But, no, Jack doesn't have a change of heart at the last minute, realizing the real Captain America would abhor the tactics he used here.  No, instead he reveals the Skull is the Cube.  When Jack grabs the Skull's hand to kiss it, he reveals he's really using his touch to exert his will over the Skull as one would do over the Cube.  He then rallies all Americans to join their will with his will, defeating the Skull once and for all.  Later, he tells his son they have to show "eternal vigilance" as the cost of peace, as Steve taught them.

If Jack is supposed to be Steve's surrogate, Mark Waid apparently thinks Captain America is a genocidal, tortuous, xenophobic despot.  Oy.  Ta-Nehisi, take us away!

Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #1:  Man, I teared up again over a JJJ, Jr. story!  Zdarsky is really re-inventing him as a character.  I didn't know he needed to be re-invented, but Zdarsky makes a convincing case for it here, as Jonah continues to face the mistakes he made in the past.  It's a pretty compelling story, folks.

Spider-Gwen #33:  Latour gives us a fascinating take on Gwen's imprisonment here.  First, he uses her relatively light sentence (after Foggy drops any charges related to Peter's death) as an exploration of privilege, as Gwen realizes anyone who didn't look like she did would've gotten a tougher sentence.  But, she also feels like the lighter sentence robbed her of the punishment she feels she deserves for her role in Peter's death.  Her light sentence denies her her penance, meaning her responsibility still weighs on her.  When Captain America tries to recruit her for an Earth-65 Suicide Squad, Gwen refuses in part because she doesn't want that sort of redemption.  She doesn't want to be saved.  It's hard to see how Latour is going to wrap up this story in one issue, but, man, I'm there.

X-Men:  Gold #30:  This issue is beautifully drawn, which is a shame, because it's terribly written.  Unlike real life, everything one reads in a comic book comes from an author's mind.  The decisions characters make are ultimately decisions the author makes.  As the reader, we feel connected with those decisions if they feel right.  After years of following a character, you have a sense of how they'd respond to a given decision based on various authors using a consistent portrayal of them.  Remy proposing to Rogue on the spur of the moments makes sense, not only because he's a romantic but also because he loves her deeply.  Rogue accepting his proposal makes sense because, as Remy himself says, she sees in him the man he wants to be.  But, those decisions are based on groundwork other authors have laid, most notably Kelly Thompson in the recently concluded "Rogue and Gambit" mini-series.  Guggenheim's couple was Kitty and Pitor, and he fails them miserably here.  Kitty Pryde goes from the confident, self-assured woman she has always been to one easily swayed by her best friend's doubts.  She goes from taking the initiative to propose to Piotr to abandoning him in front of their family and friends when she suddenly realizes she can't marry him.  When he finds her, she can't even remotely summon an explanation.  Guggenheim is the one who ultimately set us on this path, and it seems unbelievable we end here.  I don't mean it in the sense that it's unbelievable we wasted so many issues to get to this moment.  I mean, it literally feels unbelievable that the events -- as they related to Kitty and Pitor -- would unfold the way they do here.  Everyone here -- Remy and Rogue, Kitty and Piotr, us readers -- deserved better.

Also Read:  Daredevil #604; Infinity Countdown:  Black Widow #1; Infinity Countdown:  Champions #1