Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The November 20 Marvel Non-Event Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Captain America #16:  Coates really kicks it up a notch here as we make our way through the second act of this drama.  First, we see a situation that we almost never see:  a powerless Kingpin.  Coates explains that HYDRA's overthrow of the United States left the NYPD decimated and that it's now impossible to tell if some of the remaining officers are HYDRA loyalists.  Fisk called the Power Elite for help, and they provided soldiers to act as "cops" to make sure Fisk had some control over the NYPD.  After last issue's massacre, Fisk suspects an inside job, and he wants Lukin to give him information on these "cops."  Lukin refuses.  When the Kingpin gets mad, she cows him with a show of sorcery.

Meanwhile, Misty and Steve stumble upon a former Scourge base where they encounter U.S.Agent.  Can I just say how glad I am to see John back in the game?  Spencer did great work with him in his run, in part because it was easy to believe that fascists could manipulate John into pressing Sam to give up the shield.  But, Coates adds some nuance here, as John rages against Cap for betraying him.  John clearly believes that Steve was the Supreme Leader, and Coates does a great job conveying John's very, very personal anger at Steve.  I loved Cap's response, as he tells John that he'll explain over a beer one day.  Yes, they'll probably yell at each other and throw a few punches, but then they'll be good.  But, Steve stresses that they don't have time for that right now.  John seems to agree, telling Cap that he's barking up the wrong tree:  Scourge is an idea, not a person.  Later, Misty realizes that she didn't recognize any of the massacred "cops" from her time on the force.  Toni's research backs up her hunch, as she learned that all but Cap's friend Larimore were rookies.  Cap goes to question Fisk about it, but Fisk is seemingly assassinated.

In other words?  Whoa.  Coates makes this issue feel like you're watching a really intense episode of "Law and Order," an approach that fits this series well.  It's a great issue from start to finish, and I look forward to reading this title so much every month.  It continues to be a great era to be a Captain America fan.

Conan the Barbarian #11:  Conan awakens as a boy in his Cimmerian village, unsure of how he got there and surprised to find himself staring at his parents.  They believe that he lost his memory due to a fall from a tree.  His father gives him a good slap in the head, arguing that another blow to the head might restore his memory.  They then tell him that they have work to do.  Of course, said work is fighting off an oncoming horde.  Conan realizes that everything isn't as it seems and abandons his parents to make for the nearby mountain, even though his mother warns him that the mountain doesn't like it when people climb it.  Conan ages as he climbs the mountain, dying an untold number of times in his battles with the scourges the mountain sends his way.  This entire sequence is really just Aaron's way of letting Asrar loose, and it's a wonder to behold.

By the time Conan arrives at the summit, he's a man and you feel like you've earned your spot there as well.  But, Conan isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, and he continually defies the voice encouraging him to leave.  Eventually, the voice reveals itself to be Crom himself, and Asrar is on fire here.  You really feel Crom's grandeur, and it really makes Conan essentially telling Crom to go fuck himself all the more profound.  Conan is appalled that Crom is willing to let the Earth suffer under Razazel until the gods get tired of it and go to war with him to stop his plundering.  Conan tells Crom that he's a king with a responsibility to his people and that he'll meet Crom's responsibility to his people if Crom is unwilling to do it.  Aaron injects just a tiny bit of exhaustion and frustration in Conan's rant, as he somewhat adolescently complains to Crom that he spread his word throughout the lands and Crom never noticed.  Crom eventually curses Conan by returning him to life to fight Razazel, telling him that he'll rue this conversation when he dies old and forgotten (as opposed to dying brave and strong, as he would've done here).

It's really just a great issue, delving into Conan's psyche in a way that we don't normally see laid so plain, particularly when it comes to his sense of responsibility.  The back-up story also underlines Conan's sense of honor and loyalty, as he once again climbs a mountain, this time to save Zelandra.  Put together, the stories make you almost feel sorry for Razazel and his child minions as Conan awakens to face them.

King Thor #3:  I feel like Aaron has lost some steam here.  The girls travel to the planet Indigarr, where Thor sent the gods without planets after the events of "Thor:  God of Thunder - Godbomb."  Elli prays and convinces her sisters to join her.  In so doing, they awaken Indigarr's gods, who they bring with them to join the fight against Gorr.   But, even as Thor and eventually Loki emerge from the Necro-Ocean and join the girls and gods in the fight, it doesn't do any good.  Despite the constant heroic pontificating from the gods, they lose.  Atli chops off Gorr's head, but they then realize all the stars are dark, because Gorr has become the Universe.  Although it's Thor flying to confront Gorr the Necroverse, salvation likely will come in the form of Loki, who picks up Elli's book as they make a last stand against Gorr.  At this point, it all feels a little ridiculous, like Aaron has accidentally upped the stakes too much, making any solution seem overly convenient.  How does Loki overcome a Universe?  I guess we'll see.

Marauders #2:  You get you some Bobby!

I loved everything about this issue.  I loved Kate leaning into pirating and getting knuckle tattoos and a great coat.  I loved Storm expressing an extreme dislike of Batroc (which totally makes sense, given who she is and who he is) and displaying an agitated annoyance that we rarely see from her.  ("'Kill no man.'  I made a promise to kill no man.")  I loved Batroc negotiating with Kate in an attempt to sell at least some of the pilfered antibiotics that the Black King hired him to protect.  I loved Kate telling Batroc that money grows on trees on Krakoa as she orders Pyro to burn it.  I loved Emma playing a clearly bankrupt Sebastian like a fucking fiddle.  I loved Pyro enjoying himself immensely the whole time.  I definitely loved Bobby kissing some random guy at a Taipei gay bar and Kate kissing her tattoo artist.  I loved everyone's response to their new ship, from Storm's small-lettered "Oh, Emma" to even Bishop deciding he didn't have to return to Taipei too quickly.  I loved how I can't even describe how witty all the interactions are throughout this issue as Duggan just really leans into the characterizations and the dialogue.  

In addition to his character-first storytelling, Duggan continues to embrace the specifics of the reboot, as he makes it clear that the Marauders are wiling to break humanity's laws (as they steal a pleasure craft in Tokyo to chase down the Black King's ship, much to Storm's nervousness) to ensure that Krakoa's drugs get to the right people.  (Kate makes a point of burning Sebastian's supply, which he redirected from the African country, where it was supposed to go, to a U.S. country club, as a reminder that the drugs aren't a scarce resource.)  This issue is the best of the reboot so far, if not the best issue of the year.  I'm really excited to see where we go from here.

Star Wars #75:  Pak wraps up this arc -- and series -- nicely, as he reminds us that Chewie and Threepio -- often the team's most overlooked members -- are the heart of this operation.

We pick up right where Pack lefts us last issue as Chewie manages to throw Vader into a lava-filled ravine.  However, Vader parts the lava and throws some at Chewie, scorching his fur.  Luke saves Chewie by using his powers to turn a single tumbling rock into an avalanche heading at Vader.  Chewie returns the favor when Luke miscalculates and sends himself and said avalanche right at Vader.  (Chewie leaping from rock to rock while carrying Luke and under fire from Stormtroopers reminds us just how committed Chewie is to his friends.)  Dar, Han, and Leia arrive just in time to save the pair (by landing on top of the Stormtroopers), and Luke informs them that the emp blast has left Vader wounded.  When everyone gets their blasters ready to take advantage of this rare opportunity to take out Vader, Dar hilariously asks Leia if all her friends are just like her.  When she flirts with him by saying that he should know because they're just like him, he joins the charge, saying that it'll be an honor to die among fellow champions.  Awww.  (Han is obviously less than amused.)

But, Vader is Vader, hurt or not.  He fends off the team long enough to set the stage for an unthinkable scene, as Stormtroopers arrive to help his injured self to his ship.  (He waves them off him, of course.)  When he arrives on the ship and an office tries to depart to save them, Vader uses the Force to strangle him.  As he uses the ship's power to reverse the emp blast, he tells the officer that "those with power do not run."  The renewed power brings Artoo and Threepio online again, but it also means the detonators are online as well.

Here, Threepio has his turn to shine.  Threepio is panicked over the impending implosion, and Leia exhorts the Kakrans to pile into the Falcon and Dar's shuttle to escape.  They refuse, instead taking Threepio with him.  K-43 begins to disintegrate, leaving Dar and Leia on one side of a ravine and the rest of the team on the other side.  (Han observes that Dar "always manages to end up right next to her," and Chewie playfully asks why Han would care.)  Threepio assures Chewie that he's safe with the Kakrans, and the Falcon and the shuttle depart.  Luke stays on K-43 and heads to his X-Wing to save Artoo, much to the Kakrans' shock.  Before the moon detonates, Luke arrives at his disabled X-Wing to depart with Artoo.  Once again, Artoo saves Luke by blasting off K-43 before Vader -- who was laying in wait, knowing that Luke would return for Artoo -- could grab him.

As K-43 explodes, the Kakrans reveal that they weren't worried about the detonators because the "moon" is really just a cocoon for their sleeping grandmother; she awakens, breaking apart the cocoon.  They tell Threepio that they helped him not for fear of their safety (they knew the detonators would only awaken their grandmother), but because of his concern for his friends and his friends' concern for him.  It's a wonderful moment.  The Elder tells Threepio that he hopes that the "flesh" remembers Threepio's heart that day.  As Threepio begins to tell him that he's an android so he doesn't have a heart, Chewie arrives in a spacesuit to collect him.  The issue ends with Threepio exulting in reuniting with his friends (and telling Chewie to stop hugging him lest he get fur in his gears).  An android with a heart indeed.

This entire series was spectacular, from start to finish.  It felt like such an honor to spend time with these characters in this way, with each arc feeling like an additional movie worth of emotions and experiences.  I love the fact that the next series will follow "Empire Strikes Back," and I can't wait to join the gang again for more adventures.

Also Read:  Guardians of the Galaxy #11

Not-Very-New Comics: The November 13 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Detective Comics #1,015:  I enjoy the idea of a revived Nora Fries turning on Victor, deciding that she wants to be her own woman and to exert power over other people for a change.  No one ever thought Victor's dream would, to use the cliché, become his nightmare, but here we are.  Tomasi also does a good job of keeping the focus on Victor's commitment to Nora; throughout the issue, Fries says that he regrets his life of crime, seeing it solely as a means to an end (i.e., resurrecting Nora).  Nora's refusal to travel to Alaska with him as he researches how to heal them fully is all the more of a blow.  The serum that Lex gave Fries is clearly altering not just her physiology but her psychology.  It helps make Nora's actions more believable, though it was already pretty believable that she'd be disoriented after so long on ice.  My only problem with this issue is that Bruce and Fries' confrontation on the GCPD rooftop feels rushed.  If Tomasi had taken more time, we could've really dug into Fries' psyche, with Batman pushing against his assertion that it was all for Nora.  Instead, we have to take that assertion for granted so they can move through the trust exercises necessary to establish their temporary partnership.  Again, it isn't terrible, it just feels like a somewhat wasted opportunity.

Invaders #11:  I'll forgive Zdarsky for putting Roxxon's research compound on the same island where Namor and Steve are stranded, since it makes sense that the Roxxon ship that they attacked last issue would be coming from said island.  The real question is whether Steve's almost childish devotion to Namor is merited.  After all, Namor lets the scientists' experiments kill them here.  Steve is enraged, but he's still trying to convince Namor not to be the kind of man who they've always fought, who thinks that he can impose his will on other people.  (Has he met Namor?)  Steve tries to convince Namor that, if he accepts that Machan didn't do anything that he wouldn't do, he has a responsibility, as a king, to correct his mistake.  Zdarsky has Steve throw a minor tantrum when Namor (like everyone else) accuses him of only seeing black-and-white.  Steve insists that he sees grey, but I feel like maybe here he's seeing too much grey?  It's getting harder and harder to see Namor as redeemable here, as his actions in the lab prove, as he himself says in this issue, that Machan didn't do anything that he wouldn't have done.  I don't see how Cap accepts anything other than Namor standing trial if he's going to uphold his ideals, black-and-white they may be.

Star Wars #74:  This issue is great.  I've rolled my eyes for most of Luke's story as his dedication to Warba seemed like yet another example of his child-like naïveté.  But, Warba does arrive in the nick of time to save Luke after previously abandoning him, allowing him to fend off the Stormtroopers intent on attacking the Rebel base.  (The "desert mangler-mounted" Stormtrooper patrol is definitely one of the most unexpectedly cool moments in this run.  It's hilarious and deadly all at once, to see Stormtroopers on top of basically desert Tauntauns.)

As Luke prepares to depart Sergia, he asks the Rebels to take Warba to the next safe planet.  Warba tells Luke that she isn't a Jedi:  she just repeated whatever she heard the believers on Jedha say.  Luke buys it for a moment, but then he tells her that she's more than she thinks.  Earlier, he compared her to Han Solo (who also keeps insisting that he's leaving once the job is done), and his belief in the truth of that comparison shines in his eyes.  Warba is the lone figure left standing on Sergia's desert as the Rebels and Luke go their separate ways, and something about the way Noto portrays it -- with the wistful desert sky beyond her - makes you wonder if she doesn't believe Luke a little.

Meanwhile, Threepio confesses to the Kakrans that Chewie and he set bombs on the planet before they realized that intelligent life lived there.  The elder Kakran tells Threepio that they can disable "the flesh's" machines, and Threepio realizes that they can generate electricity.  When the elder Kakran notes that they'll take out "Brother Ore" as well, Threepio tells "Brother Stone" to do it, so he can be helpful.  Threepio, man.  Luke arrives on K-43 just in time for the emp blast to disable Artoo and his ship.  It sets up one of the best scenes of this series, as Vader emerges from the rubble and makes his way toward Luke, his plan realized.  However, he hadn't planned on Chewie knocking him over the head with a boulder.  Chewie vs. Vader, next issue!  I can't wait!

Star Wars:  Target Vader #5:  I'm not quite sure I follow what Vader wants here.  As Beilert notes, Vader tortures him for no real reason, since Vader just shows him a holomap of Hidden Hand outposts that both he and Beilert know that Vader has already destroyed.  So why show him them?

Anyway, the journey into Beilert's history is much more interesting, and the art for certain segments is less bracing (in a good way), making Beilert less grotesque than he's appeared on the covers.  We learn that Beilert is from a mining planet named Chorin, which he leaves for a better future.  After the events of "Star Wars:  Han Solo - Imperial Cadet," he became a grunt (as we knew).  The rest of his body (beyond his eye, which he lost in "Imperial Cadet") was burned in a battle where he lead his soldiers to safety after the Empire refused them air support.  A former commander intervened to make sure that the Empire didn't just let him die, pulling strings to have him built into a cyborg.  Upon returning home to Chorin, he discovered that his father and fellow minters were dead.  He learns from his lost love, Yura, that they died after the Empire withdrew once the mines ran dry.  "Raiders" then overtook Chorin, and Beilert leaves Yura to find them.  

In the present, Beilert breaks off his arm to escape the Imperials, but it's a trap that Vader set for him.  Vader brings him to Chorin where he tells Beilert that the "raiders" who overtook Chorin became the Hidden Hand.  Vader then welcomes Beilert back to the Empire, threatening the rest of Chorin if he doesn't cooperate.  (Couldn't he just revealed this plan from the start and save everyone time?  Why the torture charade?  Isn't Vader busy?)  Beilert then finds his Rebel contacts, telling them that they need weapons and he needs the Hidden Hand.  But, isn't the Rebellion the Hidden Hand?  I don't get that part either.   Vamos a ver.

X-Men #2:  Whereas Hickman's emotionless and stilted dialogue was a poor fit for the New Mutants, it works quite well for the Summers family.  Even Scott's attempts at bonding with his children sound like someone delivering a PowerPoint presentation, which is totally in line with Scott's personality.  It also fits Nate's personality, as his arrogance on display as he frequently refuses to spend too many words discussing his mistakes.  Hickman needs to turn over "New Mutants" to Kelly Thompson and focus exclusively on the Summers family.

The premise of this issue is that Arakko is apparently on Earth now.  This surprise, combined with the revelation that someone assassinated Xavier in "X-Force" #1, leaves me feeling somewhat confused from the start.  At this point, I'm getting half the new series:  "Marauders," "New Mutants," and "X-Men."  I'm not getting "Excalibur," "Fallen Angels," or "X-Force," and it obviously means that I'm getting an incomplete view of the "Dawn of X."  But, I don't really plan on changing my subscriptions, so I'm going to have to roll with these punches.  At any rate, we learn that Arakko appeared 100 miles off Krakoa and Krakoa is heading toward it quickly.  Scott takes Rachel and Nate within him on a recon mission after Aurora and Northstar observed some pretty large monsters on "the other place we don't normally speak of" (i.e., Arakko).

Meanwhile, at the heart of a volcano called the Arak Maw (it has glowing white tentacles emerging from it, just to make it extra creepy), we learn more about Arakko.  We're introduced to a shock white boy with bleeding black eyes (similar to the girl we encountered last issue) conversing with his mother, War.  We learn that the boy and his siblings were raised constantly engaged in some sort of war, presumably the one that Apocalypse left War and the other Horsemen to fight.  An interstitial page tells us that Arakko has a legion of Summoners who've protected Arakko from the "land beyond the wild borders of Otherworld" through summoning demons.  It's all pretty grim.

After the Summers family defeat a carnivorous squid (and Rachel and Nate enjoy some banter), the team encounters the boy.  However, they don't speak the same language; he hears the Summers speaking in grunts, and they hear him as singing.  Nate gives him a thermal grenade as a gift, and the boy accidentally detonates it, leading him to interpret (understandably) that the Summers mean him harm.  He then summons three demons (making him a High Summoner, based on what the interstitial page showed us).  The fact that these demons all have names (which the boy uses when "introducing" them to the Summers), implies to me that we're going to learn a lot about whatever corner of Hell (or maybe the Otherworld) the Arakkans control.  Scott eventually suggests that Rachel download Krakoan into the boy's brain, allowing them to converse.  Nate apologizes to the boy ("Can we agree that I've made some poor choices today and just move on?"), and Scott asks why Krakoa is headed to Arakko.  Hilariously, the boy asks Scott if he loves someone, and he responds, "Complicated question," with a hilarious tight smile.  (All the funnier?  He adds, "But for the sake of expedience let's just say yes.  I love a single someone."  Oh, Scott.  Who knew you, of all people, would get the ladies?)  We then witness Krakoa and Arakko "merging."  The boy comments that he lives "here" now because "he" lives here.  War encouraged the boy to find "him" earlier in the issue, and it seems clear that it's the same person:  Apocalypse.  The boy tells Apocalypse that Arakko will soon fall, though his children do their best to hold off the enemies.  Apocalypse embraces him, telling him that he saves all his children.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Again, Scott has all sorts of bon mots here, from telling Rachel to throw the book at him because he's a guilty man (for letting Cypher go to the Shi'ar Imperium, denying the X-Men the only person who can communicate with Krakoa) to covering up Nate's eyes while the islands "merge" and telling him, "Well, son, I think that's how all my best mistakes happened."  I also enjoyed him telling Nate that he's spent more time in the cockpit than in therapy and that he has "done the work."  I am totally here for this Scott Summers, and I hope Jonathan Hickman continues writing him this way for a long, long time.

Also Read:  The Batman's Grave #2

Not-Even-Remotely New Comics: The October 23 and 30 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #32:  Given I started this blog as essentially a Miguel O'Hara tribute site, I'm obviously so fucking excited about this event.

First, let's talk about the Peter parts of this issue.  Spencer does a lot to secure Peter in his new status quo here, in important but not overly obvious ways.

We begin with Peter daydreaming during his group-exercise meeting, prompting his two partners, Kel and Derrick, to lay into him.  They both focus on the fact that Dr. Connors got him readmitted to the Ph.D. program, with Derrick calling him Connors' "pet" after T.A.ing for him "back in the eighties or something" and Kel assuming that the Lizard almost ate him.  Kel says that he was probably just bored because he's a "big shot who had his own crash-and-burn start-up."  As Derrick's laying into Peter about plagiarism, a guy named Jamie saves him.  Jamie reveals that he turned an old WebWare watch into an early-warning device for large-scale emergencies.  Jamie also lauds Peter's attempt to provide free high-speed internet to everyone worldwide, whereas he notes that Google keeps rejecting Kel and Derrick is a patent troll.  In other words, Spencer repositions Peter not as a failure but as a doer.  Jamie (and likely others) see his failure as a totally acceptable setback given what Parker Industries accomplished (or tried to accomplish).  Spencer also doesn't drop the plagiarism angle here.  But, when Peter suggests a way to solve the problem the professor assigned the group, Kel acknowledges that it's a good idea.  In other words, Spencer is setting up Peter's academic redemption since it's clear that he can get a Ph.D. on his own merits.

But, perhaps the best part of this issue is Gleason.  Teresa pulls a fire alarm to get Peter's attention, and they head to a meeting between the Chameleon and the Foreigner.  This Foreigner seems new (and hot), and the Chameleon is selling him Infiniti Formula from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s "going-out-of-business" sale.  Gleason is on fire during the entire confrontation between the Foreigner and Spidey.  The Foreigner looks like an action hero in a suit, rolling up his sleeves like he's Henry Cavill in "Mission Impossible:  Ghost Protocol."  Spidey is lithe in contrast, prancing around the Foreigner while delivering quips.  Spidey's head tilt here somehow accentuates how happy-go-lucky he is, particularly in contrast to the Foreigner's more serious mien.  (It reminds me of "Avenging Spider-Man" #5, where Spidey looks like a gawky teenager next to Cap.)  They're small things, but they really sum up the characters (and the differences between them) perfectly.  The scene is also bathed in a red light as they're confronting each other right in front of a car shining its break lights, making the entire sequence even more arresting.

Moreover, the Miguel part of the issue is also pretty on point.  He arrives in the present falling onto a burning oil platform that Roxxon owns.  Roxxon retrieves his unconscious body, and its scientists have him under observation at their headquarters, where the suits delight in the technology that they can steal from him.  He awakens groggy but manages to break free.  However, he's still disoriented and his powers aren't working.  We only know that he's escaping the "end of everything" in his future, desperately looking for Peter.  But, he falls several stories when he forgets how to glide, landing on a taxi.  It's an inauspicious start for our man, Miguel.

All in all, it's a strong start and I'm needless to say, excited about this event.

King Thor #2:  Aaron is as good as he's ever been here, as each character plays his role perfectly.  We learn that Loki resurrected the God Butcher not to kill Thor, but to kill him.  Loki himself wanted to kill Thor, but knew that, after eons of trying, he didn't have the courage to kill himself.  He needed Gorr to do that.  Aaron even manages to inject some humor here, with Loki scoffing that he's been killing gods since Gorr was in short pants and he's offended at the implication that he needed help killing Gorr.  Aaron and Ribic pull out all the stops in showing these final moments.  Loki derides a human as he prays to Thor.  The human is confused, wondering if he's praying wrong since he never had to pray before:  Thor always provided.  Loki tells him that they're all going to die and that no eternal reward is forthcoming.  As other humans gather with him, the human simply says that he'll pray for Loki then, too.  The issue ends with Thor and Loki dying in Gorr's goo, with Thor telling Loki that he lied when he said earlier (I think in issue #1) that Freyja gave up hope for him.  He reveals that her last words were:  "Never let go of your brother.  And someday he'll save us all."  Ribic uses a different style here, with Renaissance-inspired pencils, to show the "dying of the light," as Loki's hand, initially far from Thor's, clasps it.  Earlier, Thor told Loki that -- after Gorr took his arm and eye -- they still had Thor's strength and Loki's brain.  Loki refused to tell Thor how to defeat Gorr, saying it was impossible.  But, in this last moment, does Loki give Thor what he needs?  It's amazing after all this time that Aaron can conjure these sorts of emotional moments, keeping us on the edges of our seats waiting to see who Loki really is.

Marauders #1:  This issue is spectacular.  It's everything I hoped that I could have in an X-Men comic.  I've always liked Duggan; his run on "Uncanny Avengers" was on my favorites.  But, he really outdoes himself here.

First, we start with a great premise:  Kitty Pryde can't use the Krakoa gates.  On the first page, Nightcrawler and Storm deliver a rousing speech in Central Park to a group of mutant refugees seeking to use the gates, about how they're going home and leaving behind their old life.  Telling Kurt and Ororo that she'll see them on the island, Kitty walks into the portal...and busts her nose on it.  It's particularly funny given her power:  she can phase through walls, but she's the only mutant who can't use the portal.

With few options, she steals a sailboat and makes her way to the island with Lockheed, who's having a spectacular time eating all the fish and seagulls that he can find.  (Can I just say how happy I am to see Lockheed again?  In these dark times, we need more Lockheed.)  Kitty arrives to Bobby welcoming her on the beach.  When he asks whether she still can't use the gates, she tells him that "top men" are working on it.  Bobby quips that he'd like to meet these "top men."  Duggan!  How risqué!  In the same panel as the one where Bobby makes this comment, we see a quotation bubble from an off-panel person shouting, "Did you get it?!?"  The next panel reveals that it's Logan theoretically yelling about where Kitty got the supplies that he asked her to bring (mainly BBQ and whisky).  But, Duggan really uses it to draw a line under Bobby's joke.  Moreover, Logan's note to Kitty about the supplies, presented in one of the interstitial pages, itself is hilarious, particularly his "tell no one" instructions about his "dapper dude" pomade.  This entire sequence alone made me loves this book.  But, wait, there's more!

Bobby bids Kitty adieu as he explores why no one has used a certain portal.  Kitty is then called to a telepathic meeting with Emma Frost, who calls her Kate.  Kitty is on the defensive throughout this interaction, behaving more insecure than we usually see her.  But, Duggan uses that insecurity to show the respect that Emma has for her, not only because she calls her Kate but because, as she explains:  "You've been fighting your whole life against impossible odds, and you never once gave someone an extra shot in the ribs simply because they deserved it."  I have to say that it's the perfect description of what makes Kitty special, and it's why Emma offers Kitty a job.  She wants Kitty to take command of a large ship that helps mutants who can't use the portals for a variety of reasons, mostly because they're guarded by anti-mutant nutjobs.  Kitty hilarious remarks, "Ororo said 'No,' huh?", to which Emma responds, "Before I could finish my pitch -- but darling, you will be grand!"

I read a review somewhere in which the reviewer sagely noted that some authors are going to ignore the new status quo to their detriment and some authors are going to lean into it to great success.  Duggan happily takes the latter route here.  On the very first page when I saw Kurt and Ororo leading the kids to the gates, I wondered about whether every gate would be so easy to access.  Duggan wanted me to think exactly that in order to set up where he goes here.  Moreover, Emma seems to be offering Kitty the Red Queenship, which, OMG, yes!  Duggan didn't have to make Kitty unable to use the portals, but, by doing so, we're not getting some random team whose entire roster will change by issue #6 and whose orienting mission will change by issue #8.  Kitty is front and center here as she has to be:  her inability to use the portals means that the ship is her only option.  As Emma says, she might as well use that opportunity.

Meanwhile, Bobby goes through the portal and is immediately attacked by one of the aforementioned anti-mutant nutjobs, a Russian solider wearing a power-eliminating suit of armor (proving why the Marauders are needed).  We are then treated to an underwear-clad Bobby leaping back through the portal to a whisky-swilling Kitty.  I mean, what more could you want?  Kitty recruits Storm for the boat and away we go.  On board is also the old Pyro, seemingly to Bobby's dismay, given his previous sexy time with new Pyro.  The team arrives at the portal and the solider takes out Bobby and Ororo's powers quickly.  But, they were a distraction, as Kitty uses her powers to disrupt the armor.  Bobby and Ororo go to free the imprisoned mutants, and Duggan and Lolli go to town in showing Kitty ruthlessly making her way through the attacking soldiers by her own damn self.  (Phasing the gun into the legs of two of the soldiers was...brutal.)  Pyro exults as Lockheed provides him dragonfire, and the rest of the soldiers retreat.  One of the refugees is recording the scene as they're freed, and Kitty announces to the interwebs that they're the Marauders and they'll bring any mutant who can't get to Krakoa "home."  The issue ends with the team agreeing to stay with Kitty and her asking them to call her Kate.  (Well, it really ends with the Red Diamond saying that Kate was actually Emma's third choice, but whatever.)

Elsewhere in the issue, Bishop is investigating an anti-mutant activist in Taiwan named Mrs. Zhao who claims that her husband disappeared when he touched the gate.  Bishop confronts her, informing her that they don't have any record of her husband, and she departs with an insult.  Interesting.

All in all, I just can't describe how happy I am.  First, the mission is great.  It's like X-Force without the brutality.  As Storm says, how could she turn her back on mutants who need them the most?  But, most importantly, the cast is great.  Bobby, Kate, and Storm are three of my favorite X-Men.  Seeing them galavanting around the world together on a ship with booze, guys, and quips?  Pinch me.

Star Wars #73:  Like any good "Star Wars" story, everything goes from bad to worse here.  After torturing Han, Carpo releases him to Leia and Dar's reconnaissance so the three of them can attack the regional governor.  (I now realize that Dar didn't intentionally set up Han, which sucks, because it would've been easier not to like him as much as I do.)  Leia and Dar have to explain to Han that the only reason that Carpo thinks the governor is attacking is because they changed the plan.  Of course, Han notes that, instead of Carpo dying in their plan, they will.  (He ain't wrong.)  Han realizes that they don't have any hope of breaking into an Imperial Star Destroyer, so he plans on brining them to K-43 because, "the more, the merrier."  Of course, he still thinks that Chewie and Threepio are planning to blow up K-43, taking said Star Destroyer with it.  Meanwhile, Chewie rescues Threepio from Vader's grasp after Vader catches Threepio lying that the Kakrans were under his thrall.  Chewie tells Threepio that he only managed to disable half the detonators, so Threepio calls Luke for help.  But, Luke has to protect the Rebel base, though he may actually convince Warba to help.  As Carpo says, so complicated!

Also Read:  Conan The Barbarian #10; Journey to Star Wars:  The Rise of Skywalker - Allegiance #3 and #4

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The October 2 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Die #8:  The problem with such a dense issue is that it's easy to get lost in one particular narrative and lose track -- or, at least, your emotional connection -- to the other ones.

Do you follow the story of Ash and her struggle with Sol?  She's trying to get Sol to explain what the Eternal Prussians are building in Glass Town in the hope that the Angrians will in turn help him find Chuck and Isabelle.  To do so, Ash almost immediately ditched her vow not to use the Voice on Sol, revealing yet again that Ash is a lot less principled than she hoped that she is.  For obvious reasons, Angria apparently keeps Dictators on a short leash, so they distrust Ash; she's assigned a minder.  But, Sol is obstinate as ever, forcing Angela to sneak into Glass Town to get the information.  Matt exposits for us that they've learned that Sol escaped the Grandmaster five years ago and rallied an alliance that overthrew him two years ago, but then he turned on his allies.  But, Ash still can't get Sol to answer the most important question:  how did he create Die?

Or do you follow the story of Ash and her son, Augustus?  We know from last issue that Isabelle had an unconsummated love affair with Zamorna, and we now learn Zamorna is the father of Ash's child, explaining all the implications of tension between Ash and Isabelle.  We learn that Isabelle transferred the child to the Mourner to carry Augustus to term before they left Die last time.  As the son of a paragon and vampire with a god as a surrogate mother, Augustus is some form of a demi-god, and the Ruling Party of Angria sees him as a threat, particularly since they exiled his father.  (You can't really blame them, I'd have to say.)

Instead, do you follow the story of Matt?  Ash has been trying to convince the Knightly Orders to help discover what's happening in Glass Town, but they've so far refused.  But, a group of Joy Knights gets a message to Matt to meet them in the Eightfold Temple.  We learn that original eight knights "stood beside the genie-touched ones" and founded Angria.  We also learn that Matt initially came close to choosing anger instead of grief, and we watch him reconsider his choice here, enraging his sword.  Earlier Matt told the sword that he was happy for 20 years, and the sword tells him that grief is the price of joy.  He explains that Matt is grieving his family because he knows that he can never return to the way that it was with them.  Matt has enough and makes quick work of the Joy Knights, since grief is something that you'd give anything to lose (giving Matt an edge) whereas joy is something that you're frightened to lose (making the Knights hold back a little).  (That makes a weird amount of sense.)  Matt later admits that he always feels cleansed after a fight.

In the end, the stories converge as Angela returns from Glass Town and reveals that the Prussians are building a Forge that asks the question, in binary, "What am I for?"  Ash asks the Angrian Queen to help find Chuck and Isabelle, but she demurs.  It doesn't matter, though, because Isabelle arrives, saying that they all destroyed Glass Town and should all be punished for it.  OK, then!

House of X #6:  This issue spends most of its time covering ground that we've already covered, but in more detail.

We now see the entirety of Xavier's speech about mutant emancipation that he projected to the world, about how humans killed his dream of peaceful coexistence so he's killing their dream that they would forever control the world.

We then move into the first meeting of the Quiet Council as it considers Krakoa's first laws.  Professor X, Magneto, and Apocalypse form Autumn; Mister Sinister, Exodus, and Mystique form Winter; Sebastian Shaw (Black King), Emma Frost (White Queen), and an absent chair (Red King) form Spring; Storm, Jean Grey, and Nightcrawler form Summer; and Cypher represents Krakoa.  We also learn the four "great [war] captains" are Cyclops, Gorgon, Bishop, and Magik.

This section is tedious in the way that governing is.  Exodus threatens Sinister when he speaks to him, and Sinister jokingly suggests that killing a mutant should be against the law.  But, Apocalypse notes that it isn't a challenge to kill someone who isn't unkillable, and Jean sort of agrees; she argues that it should be against the law to kill a human since they can't return.  Everyone else agrees, even Apocalypse since, as he notes, it's a point that means nothing to him, like humanity.  (So, he's going to break that one soon, right?). Shaw then wants to discuss basics about the economy, and Cypher warns them on the property-rights issue, reminding them that Krakoa is a living being.  Exodus agrees, nothing that the land is sacrosanct.  Mystique thinks that she's getting to Nightcrawler when she asks what his God's wisdom is, but he then quotes "And God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the Earth, and then subdue it..." as justification for creating more mutants.  As such, this conversation yields the three initial laws:  1) make more mutants; 2) murder no man; and 3) respect this sacred land.

With the laws formed, they turn to judging Sabretooth for defying Magneto's orders not to kill human security guards in a previous issue.  They all find him guilty, since Magneto specifically ordered him not to kill.  This next part is chilling:  since they won't submit a mutant to human authorities and, for some reason, they "tolerate no prisons" on Krakoa, he's put into conscious stasis deep inside Krakoa.  Larraz is spectacular here, watching even Sabretooth panic as he realizes what they're doing to him.  It's brutal.

That said, the issue ends on a happy note.  Larraz does a great job showing the independence celebrations as Xavier and the Council leave their meeting and join them.  Xavier notes that they carry a heavy burden now, like a parent with a child; they will lose sleep so their children can sleep.  But, the most spectacular sequence happens as Logan hands Cyclops a six pack.  Logan takes a beer to Gorgon, and Scott hands two beers to Jean, who sits down next to Emma.  Jean passes one wordlessly over her shoulder to Emma, who accepts it, equally without looking at her.  It's two small panels, but it's a spectacular moment that made me grin ear to ear.  We then watch Havoc hug Scott, and you realize exactly what Hickman has done here.  It's like he took the best parts of every other storyline -- Revolution, Utopia, Necrosha, Second Coming -- and perfected it.  It's in these last wordless moments that you realize the magnitude of this accomplishment, how perfectly he's weaved this story to tweak what needed tweaking and ret-con what needed ret-conning.  It didn't require a deal with the Devil, like in Spider-Man.  Hickman did the hard work of identifying the problems and fixing them.  You can imagine him standing next to Charles and Magneto in the last panel as they look upon Dazzler's Siryn-amplified fireworks display and nodding to Magneto's words:  "Just look at what we have made."

Star Wars #72:  Han's suspicions about Dar are proven correct here, though not necessarily for the right reasons.  Dar has Boss Carpo's thugs grab Han as he leads Leia from the dance floor, explaining his plan to convince Carpo to use his floating military fortress (or "panop") to attack the Empire.  Since Han will conveniently be on said panop, he kills two birds with one stone, quite literally:  getting rid of Boss Carpo and his rival for Leia's affections.  Meanwhile, the most meaningful sequence in the issue is when Threepio manages to inform Chewie that Vader is on K43.  Chewie contemplates sacrificing the planet to take out Vader, but a young rock creature approaches him quizzically.  Chewie pats him on the head and disables the detonators.  Awww, Chewie.  Vader then decides to use Chewie as his own trap for Luke, turning the tables on the Rebels.  Oh, Darth.  Always with the traps.

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The September 4 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Die #7:  This issue is a return to form after last issue, as Gillen throws a lot at us without getting lost in the details.

Izzy writes in a journal as she wallows in guilt over the situation in which she, Chuck, and the Glass Town refugees find themselves.  Apparently, when she asked the Skywatcher to "get us out of here?" in issue #5, it deposited them on the opposite side of Die, in a desert called the Expense in the Realm of Three.  (Gods are always so literal, she complains.)  Chuck arrives in her tent and throws her journal in piss-soaked sand, telling her that she should be a professional and only write for money.  Enraged, she asks Mistress Woe to teach him a lesson:  after all, she already owes all the gods so much for giving her the gifts that she needs to keep the Glass Town refugees alive in the middle of a desert, she might as well enjoy the debt.  Chuck later drinks with some dwarves and mistakes his hangover the next day as his lesson.  As they all march through the desert, he spies an oasis where he leads the refugees.  Izzy worries that it's a trap and asks Mistress Woe as much.  She denies making the place as one of the dwarves comments that it looks like a mighty impact broke the ground, bringing forth the water.  (Uh oh.)

As the refugees enjoy the water, the Chamberlain pulls the "paragons" aside and basically threatens to expose their manipulation of him.  However, Izzy observes that the enraged refugees would likely kill him, too.  Izzy tells him and Chuck that she's approached a possible patron about providing assistance just as a large group of strangers arrives.  Tellingly, the Chamberlain asks if it's her patron, and Izzy responds, "Dusk?  It's too early."  As they wait, Izzy informs Chuck that her patron is Zamorna of Angria.  The False Friend (I assume one of the gods) has briefed her that Zamorna was deposed when Sol became Grandmaster and he's hiding in Gondol now.  Meanwhile, the large group arrives.  It's a group of elves led by the actual Elf Queen (not the Fallen One whom they previously encountered).  She informs Chuck and Izzy that they're there for water, because they've been driven from their homeland, the Dreaming Lands.  As everyone camps for the night, a Titan appears.  It turns out Mistress Woe at least indirectly created the oasis; she sent the Titan to break the land to teach Chuck a lesson.  Chuck successfully kills it and everyone parties.

During the party, Izzy apologizes to Chuck, and he blows off the apology.  When she's mad at him for doing so, he reminds her that he has to joke with her, because if he lets anything touch him then his luck goes and they'd be fucked.  He literally has to look on the bright side to keep them alive.  He later sleeps with the Elf Queen (fulfilling his original goal) and tells her about his ex-wives, how he kept trading up each time he got more successful.  The Elf Queen tells him that he's lonely and wonders if he talks to her because she's wise.  He says that it's because she isn't real.  After she leaves, Mistress Woe asks him about whether he really thinks that she isn't real, and he responds with a comment about implants:  they're real, but are they real real?  He notes that he doesn't even know what "real" means at this point.  He tells her about a great party in London that he attended one night, "a sort of real human connection evening."  Later, he found out everyone left after he left; they were only there for him because he was famous.  This moment is perhaps Gillen's most insightful in an already heavily insightful issue.  He gets to the heart of human relationships here:  it all starts going downhill once you feel like you can't have a "real" relationship, as we see with Chuck.  He then pees blood, and Mistress Woe wonders if he learns his lesson there.  (I'm not sure what that means exactly.  Does Chuck have an STD?  Maybe?)  At any rate, Zamorna arrives.  He looks exactly like Kit Harrington, and we learn that he and Izzy were in an unconsummated love affair.  We also learn that he's a vampire, which Chuck and Izzy already know.  The issue ends with him commenting, "After all, we're all monsters here."

Along the way, Gillen is as witty as ever.  At one point, Chuck explains that his second wife left him when he accidentally tweeted and not DMed a girl; the dwarves ask what Twitter is, and Chuck explains that it's a "place devoid of any sentient life, entirely hostile to humanity."  In other words, "A lot like here, really."  Moreover, Chuck and others frequently break the Fourth Wall throughout the issue.  When the dwarves tell Sol that they fled to Glass Town for similar reasons, he comments, "You two have a backstory?  I thought you were kind of one-note characters."  When Chuck talks about his ex-wives and the Elf Queen, he mentions their charisma scores.  When Izzy uses old-timey language with Zamorna, he comments, "You don't need to treat me like one of those characters.  I'm better written than that."

In other words, it's an incredibly dense and rewarding issue.  If last issue felt like Gillen skimmed on top of a story that could've been more meaningful if approached in a different way, he dives deep into Chuck and Izzy's psyches here, pulling you into the story in a way that makes you forget the world around you.  As he alludes to Ash trying to make an alliance with "his boy" in Angria, Zamorna also reminds us how they're all scrambling to be adults in an adolescent world, just like we all are.

House of X #4:  It's clear from the death of Archangel (and, to a lesser extent, Husk) that Hickman isn't going to let his death stand.  By the end of the issue, as he's killed off Monet, Mystique, Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Cyclops, and Jean Grey, it's clear that they'll all return.  I know that Professor X somehow uses Krakoa to resurrect them since, after all, I'm reading this issue seven months late.  But, Hickman somehow still manages to infuse this issue with emotion and heart.  Whereas I often read an issue with a "shocking" death (I'm looking at you, Alfred) with little more than an eye roll at this point, Hickman makes it clear from the start that these deaths are going to move us to the next phase of the story.  They're not "shocking" for shocking's safe.  It more feels like we've ended the first act.

In terms of the plot itself, the team succeeds in its mission.  Despite the loss of Archangel and Husk, the team hits the ground running, with Logan and Nightcrawler unlocking two of Mother Mold's collars almost immediately.  Omega rouses Dr. Gregor by stressing that she can't just wail on the floor if she wants her husband's death to mean something while the station's acting security chief sends a team to board the ship, where Monet is amplifying Jean's powers so she can communicate with Krakoa.  Monet shoves Jean into an escape pod and, when Jean notes that she needs Monet's power to reach Earth, Monet hilariously quips, "I dunno what to say, Marvel Girl.  Try harder."  Oh, Jean, you always were a whiner.  Meanwhile, Scott shuts down his collar, but before Mystique can shut down her collar Dr. Gregor opens a door that sucks her into space.

In perhaps the best sequence so far in this series, Scott broken-heartedly authorizes Nightcrawler to teleport Logan onto the support beam itself where Logan can manually cut the collar.  Laraz and Garcia have been amazing so far throughout this series, but they're spectacular here.  You feel like you're on the beam with Logan, basking in the heat of the brilliant sun behind you.  Kurt dissipates immediately but Logan manages to cut the beam, as he and Mother Mold ride into the Sun.  (It's a fitting end for Logan, honestly, in its Dr. Strangelove way.)  Moreover, the scene before their sacrifice is also great, as Logan asks about the afterlife and Nightcrawler assures Logan that he'll see him there, in the good place.  Again, it's this entire sequence that makes you really believe what Hickman's selling here, that the X-Men believe that they're sacrificing themselves even if we know that they're not.

Devastated and exhausted, Scott makes his way to Jean, with a plan to jump into the escape pod via an EVA suit and use his powers to push them into an escape vector.  But, Omega and Dr. Gregor intercept him on the way, killing him.  But, we learn that Scott's mission was doomed anyway as the drones that Dr. Gregor recalled from Mercury arrive, killing a terrified Jean who's still reeling from the deaths of her friends.  On Earth, a devastated Professor X pledges, "No more."  In other words, away we go.

Star Wars #71:  I always love a good Threepio-based story, and this one didn't disappoint. The Kakrans recognizing Threepio as metal and thus calling him "Cousin Ore!" was remarkably clever.  But, Pak goes one step further by making one of the Elders root around Threepio's memories to show him iconic moments from the movies and the comics where "the flesh" abandoned him or Artoo, which the Elders insist the flesh will always do.  I could totally hear in my head Threepio saying, "Well now, that seems like a bit of a broad brush--."  When the Kakrans impressed Threepio into service as a translator and Darth Vader entered the room, I was surprised and thrilled.  Threepio versus Vader!  The Han and Leia story also didn't disappoint.  First, you have Leia sneak-attacking Dar and yelling, "Don't just stand there, Han!," as Han, well, just stands there.  But, Pak doesn't just make Dar a turncoat.  Dar's right that bringing the Empire to Lanz Carpo will hurt a lot of people, since the Empire will likely set up shop there to keep it under control.  So, Dar quite reasonably argues that Han and Leia should instead trick Boss Carpo into attacking the Empire (instead of tricking the Empire into thinking he's supporting the Rebellion).  This ploy somehow results in Han and Leia slow dancing at a ball.  I mean, how much better can you get?

Also Read:  Alpha Flight:  True North #1; Conan The Barbarian #9

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The June 19 Rest of Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Captain America #11:  I've really enjoyed Coates run so far, but I'll admit that I've lost the plot somewhat.  Like, I get the overall plot, but I don't remember why Cap agreed to flee the Myrmidon.  I think it's because Cap realizes that von Strucker wants him dead, so he has to flee when the opportunity presents itself.  But, I'm not entirely sure.  As Cap himself says here, it doesn't feel like Cap.  But, Nomad, here we come.  (Note:  When I first read this issue, I totally missed the fact that the Invisible Woman and Misty Knight had taken von Strucker with them after the Invisible Woman knocked him unconscious.  I guess that it's the Plan B to kidnapping the Foreigner, which Dryad fails to do after Crossbones and Sin (allegedly) assassinate him mid-fight, presumably on Lukin's orders.)

Guardians of the Galaxy #6:  I guess this arc ends OK.  The Guardians and Dark Guardians merge into one team to try to stop Hela from resurrecting Thanos, using Lockjaw as transport.  The battle sequences here are well done, and Cates does a solid job in making sure that no one gets lost in the shuffle of so many characters.  Peter tries, and fails, to stop Gamora from killing Eros when it's revealed that he's Thanos' host.  Peter says that he just spent days trying to prevent the Dark Guardians from killing her, so her killing Eros would make her like them.  She then (truthfully) tells him that she is like them and stabs Eros through the heart.  But, because Peter is a love-sick puppy, he confesses to Gamora that he loves her and he needs her to know that because they almost die a lot.  It's a solid note of characterization, to be honest, one that shows how weary both Gamora and Peter are after "Infinity Wars" and its aftermath.  Peter tries to reassemble the Guardians, but it doesn't go great, as Gladiator, Nebula, and Nova all bail.  On the plus side, Beta Ray Bill, Lockjaw, Moondragon, and Phyla-Vell stay (along with Gamora and Groot, presumably).  Phyla-Vell then asks the question on every one's mind:  what about Rocket?  I'm excited at the very least to see the answer to that question.  I'm also hoping Shaw stops drawing Peter like a homeless person, so we'll see how the next few issues go.

Star Wars #67:  Killen ends his run here, and I'm hard pressed to remember someone wrapping up so many loose ends so well.  Moreover, he not only neatly wraps up his own run but starts setting the stage for the Rebellion's move to Hoth.  The amazing role that this series has played in bridging the gap between "Star Wars" and "Empire Strikes Back" can't be understated.  I'm tempted to reread all the issues in a row, as I feel like they form a trilogy's worth of developments in and of themselves.  In terms of this arc, the only two remaining loose ends were how the team was going to stop Benthic and the Partisans from destroying Shu-Torun and then how the team was going to escape the Imperials.  Gillen accomplishes both tasks in great fashion.

On the first item of business, Tunga decides to play hero, drawing off the Tie Fighters so Chewie can save the rest of the team from the Retreat before Kanchar destroys it.  Arriving at the Spike, Leia convinces Benthic that destroying Shu-Torun would make them no different from the Imperials.  Benthic had appealed to their shared tragedy -- her loss of Alderaan, his loss of Jedha -- and it's exactly this shared loss that enables her to convince him to change his course.  In so doing, Gillen draws a clear contrast between Leia and Luke in Benthic's eyes:  Luke's bumbling and whining pleas fell on Benthic's deaf ears.  (As Tunga says as he tries to imitate Leia earlier in the issue, it's all in her "nasal 'I-know-best' diction.")

It's then Han's turn to save the day.  As the Spike implodes, Han flies them through its collapsing remains, since, after all, it's essentially just a tunnel that bisects the planet.  It's pretty spectacular, and one of the few times that I've felt something here would be even better depicted on screen, because Unzueta struggles to convey the true ballsiness of the gambit.  Then, all's well that ends well.  We learn Tunga survived (the Cult of the Central Isotoper saved him and declared him -- possibly against his will -- a new member) and Kanchar didn't (Vader killed him for his dogged pursuit of the team, for reasons that Gillen doesn't make exactly clear).

Most importantly, Gillen also gives Han a rare moment of emotion -- a portrayal more believable after seeing "Solo:  A Star Wars Story," to be honest.  After the team drops off the Partisans on a new planet, Han tells Benthic that they don't have to be who they don't want to be.  Leia rushes the moment, telling Han to "stop yapping," which is perfect in its own way, as Han then puts back on the mask he normally wears.  But, in just those two or three panels, we get the best explanation that I've seen for why Han came roaring back in "Star Wars" and continued to stay with the Rebellion.  When Han asked him why he stopped being a hero, Benthic told him that the galaxy changed.  Han dared him to change, too, as he had, even if he didn't want to admit it.  I can't think for a better ending for this crowd as we launch into "Empire Strikes Back."

Star Wars:  Tie Fighter #3:  I was just phoning in this series, to be honest, but holy fucking crap Houser kicks it up a notch here.  Lyttan and Zin are killed in a few short minutes as Shadow Wing escapes the mining facility and head for the Celerity, which Imperial forces loyal to the Empire free from Admiral Gratloe.  (Gratloe planned on selling the Celerity to the Rebellion, and Lyttan and Zin are killed as the Rebels arrive to complete the sale.)  In killing off Lyttan, we unexpectedly lose a character who we first met in "Star Wars:  Han Solo - Imperial Cadet," and it ramps up the tension in this issue.  (The back-up story last issue certainly helped, as it made all the more present in our minds the devastation that Lyttan's twin brother will feel when he learns of his death.)  Zin's death is also unexpected, as issue #1 seemed to establish her as a Rebel spy.  In fact, Shadow Wing's three remaining members are perhaps the least connected to each other.  Is Ganem really going to hang in there with Zin dead?  Is Jeela going to turn in Ganem, believing him to be the Rebel spy?  The back-up story in this issue also reminds us that Teso has a reputation for surviving engagements that kill off members of his crew.  His surprise at Lyttan's death seemed genuine, but Houser definitely has us guessing at this point.  I'm totally buying "Alphabet Squadron" now.

Uncanny X-Men #20:  This issue is better than previous ones, but it still has its weaknesses.  On the plus side, it's fun to watch oft-overruled Alex and Madrox be right about the insanity of trusting Dark Beast, particularly after he reveals that he worked with Sinister to perfect his "cure to the cure."  Also, I loved the twist that the X-Men have never been working with Captain America.  As Dark Beast says, it's time for the X-Men to get a telepath, because a lot of people are in their heads right now.  (Sinister apparently implanted "subconscious suggestions" in the minds of the X-Men to support his plan, something I wasn't aware that he could do.)  These developments make it clear that Rosenberg does actually have a plan, something that hasn't really felt evident in the last few issues.  But, again, it's not perfect.  I really don't understand why the Upstarts murder the Nasty Boys to attract the X-Men's attention, since they seemed to have a lot of other options, like maybe even teaming with them?  I also definitely don't believe that Shinobi Shaw would commit suicide, particularly not because he allegedly thought the X-Men were working for Emma and she would come after him.  Also, Rosenberg never explains why Dr. Nemesis is with Captain America, particularly if Captain America hasn't been working with the X-Men.  Is it another trick?  Do I care?  Meh.

Also Read:  Marvel's Spider-Man:  City at War #4

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The May 15 Non-X Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #21:  Holy shit, this issue and "Star Wars" #66 make for a fucking intense week.  Kraven eventually "rescues" Peter from the horde of Vermins, because they're just a prelude to his actual plan.  Said plan is a doozy:  to prove Peter is man enough to take on the Hunter, Kraven sets up Peter to rip out Curt Connors' inhibitor chip so the Lizard can, in turn, save Billy (and the Black Cat) from Kraven's son.  Yup.  To Kraven's mind, Peter is forced to sacrifice his "No One Dies" code (and, by extension, his view of himself as an uncompromising hero) to save Billy and Felicia.  I wouldn't necessarily see it that way, but Spencer make a compelling argument that Peter does, and Peter's opinion is obviously the only one that matters.  Moreover, on the road to this denouement, Curt and Billy reveal (to Peter and the Black Cat, respectively) that Billy remembers his dad eating him.  Oy.  As I said, intense.  "Hunted" has been cruising on auto-pilot since the Gibbon issue, but Spencer floors it at the right moment.  I can't wait to see how it ends.

Batman #71:  Reading an issue like this one, I always wonder how exactly it got to be this bad.  Yes, some people will continue to interpret (or, to my mind, confuse) King's obtuseness for genius, in the same way that I feel people interpret (or confuse) Hickman's obtuseness for genius.  But, this issue goes beyond just the question of whether obtuseness equals genius.  In both stories we see here, Bruce isn't Bruce.  In both stories, he's spouting phrases that it's impossible to see him saying in any form, from repeatedly telling Bane that he's going to break his "damn back" to busting into a hospital mumbling paranoid dribble about seeing the truth behind Bane.  King pretty clearly seems to be building to a reveal where we learn Bruce was right all along and Bane has been running Gotham in secret.  But, King has dragged out this story well, well, well beyond any point where I could care.  Taking into account that the Bat-family connects Bruce's current state of mind to Catwoman leaving him at the altar, King has functionally been telling this story for almost a year at this point.  But, nothing has happened.  Sure, maybe Bane, with the help of Bruce's father, is secretly running Gotham from Arkham and Bruce had to escape a machine designed to make him crazy to stop Bane.  Or, maybe Bruce has just been...staring at the wall imaging that for the better part of the last year?  Even if Bane is engaged in shenanigans, it's been 21 issues and we're not even close to confirming if he is, let alone to getting to the point where Bruce addresses it.  I almost literally feel robbed.

Guardians of the Galaxy #5:  This series has pleasantly surprised me from the start, but revealing that Thanos chose Eros, not Gamora, for his host was great.  First, it makes total sense from a biological standpoint:  as Hela says, it had to be a Titan.  But, it also makes sense from a characterization standpoint as well, as it's so...cruel.  Thanos delights in the fact that Eros thought himself to be a leader finally, assembling a team to do what it needed to do to save the galaxy from Thanos.  In the end, he just achieved Thanos' goal of distracting everyone so they couldn't see the truth right in front of them.  I'm used to this level of plotting from Aaron and Gillen, but it's nice to see someone like Cates throwing his hat into that ring.

Star Wars #66:  Gillen actually gives Trios redemption here, something that I didn't think possible.  She attempts to get Kanchar to end his aerial bombardment, but he refuses, committed to killing Leia even if it means killing Trios.  (He assumes another "pampered aristocrat" will take the throne, so it's no great loss to the Empire, to his mind.)  Trios realizes that she has no other option other than take out Leia and hopefully stop the assault, so she rushes Leia and her squad's position in the throne room.  She and Leia have a full-on sword fight, which Leia wins.  Trios calls Leia a monster at the start, and Gillen reminds us that she thinks Leia is trying to destroy Shu-Torun.  After Leia strikes the killing blow, she explains that she's only trying to disable the Spike.  Trios informs Leia that the plan has "gone awry."  Leia promises to stop the Partisans, something Han notes might be a tall order.  But, Trios' dying words are the best part here.  She tells Leia that she fought for Shu-Torun like Leia would've for Alderaan.  She curses the fact that she survived the attack on her family and laments that Shu-Torun may be destroyed because of her actions.  As she dies, she tells Leia that she believes her and apologizes for making Leia believe her.  It's sad.  Gillen makes us really feel the weight on Trios' shoulder this entire time, as she was forced to choose between a set of increasingly bad options.  The only good news for Trios as she dies is that she's leaving behind a pissed-off Leia committed to saving her planet.

Star Wars:  Tie Fighter #2:  This issue is interesting not because of anything its usual cast of characters does, but because of the issue's "villain."  Shadow Wing finds itself captive after it fails to protect the Star Destroyer that it was supposed to protect and squad leader Broosh surrenders to the assailants.  It turns out an Imperial officer, Admiral Gratloe, is running the outfit, hoping to operate a small mining operation outside the Imperials' notice.  It's not entirely an enthralling issue, particularly since Shadow Wing goes all do-gooder here, in the sense that they plan on re-claiming the operation for the Empire.  But, it does do something that we don't normally see, showing us the expanding chaos in the post-"Return of the Jedi" galaxy.  Gratloe just wants to get him some, and I find myself relieved that the Powers That Be in "Star Wars" Land finally show this type of story.  In all the galaxy, someone has to try to seize the moment.  We often only see this galaxy far, far away through the eyes of ideologically motivated protagonists.  But, I love watching a NPC operating on the margins and hope we get more issues like it.

War of the Realms #4:  I haven't really written about "War of the Realms" mostly because I continue to enjoy it.  Aaron hasn't really provided anything worth criticizing, but he also hasn't presented anything so amazing that I felt the need to comment.  It's just a really solid event.  

Aaron's plotting is above reproach, where he yet again manages to keep so many balls in the air while still giving each one its due.  Virtually every other event author at this point in the story has you confused and tired, usually because they're trying to incorporate events that happen in the various tie-in issues.  Not so here.  The tie-in issues flesh out the events here, sure.  But, honestly, you could really just read this mini-series and completely understand the events transpiring in it.  How often do we get that, huh?  Moreover, Aaron is funny as ever.  The dwarves' reactions to She-Hulk calling on them to help her smash were hilarious, from one of them saying that he had dust in the eye to another one complimenting her on her motivational speaking.  Thori is also great, as always, and Spider-Man continues to have such on-the-nose one-liners that I'd love for Aaron to write him one day.  Dauterman is also, as always, on fire.  The Iron Odin suit?  Amazing.  As Ghost Rider said, it's all very metal.

The only criticism I could find is that Aaron doesn't have a ton of space for emotional beats.  Aaron has spent months, if not years, showing us the virtually non-existent relationship between Odin and Freyja.  Here, Odin appearing to help her at her final stand on the Black Bifrost may have her claiming he finally "turned her on" for the first time ever, but it's rushed.  If Aaron had more time, I could imagine him using flashbacks to remind us where we've been with these two, building to this rapprochement, instead of just hurling it at us to give us (presumably) the requisite event deaths.  Again, it isn't a hideously off-note; it's just a note that I wish Aaron had more time to hit.  It's a minor complaint for an otherwise great event, but there it is.

Also Read:  Nightwing #60; Spider-Man and the League of the Realms #1; Star Wars:  Age of Rebellion - Lando Calrissian #1; Transformers #5; War of the Realms:  Strikeforce - The War Avengers #1

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The May 1 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  Prisoner X #3:  One of the major questions -- actually, the major question -- running through this event is who, exactly, is pulling the strings behind the scenes.  Who dispatches Fred and the X-Tremists on missions?  Who gives orders to Force and the Danger Room?  We've always assumed that it was X-Man, but, given Bishop's conversation with Legion in this issue, maybe it's Legion?  Wouldn't that be a twist?  At the very least, this series has kept this mystery at its core unlike the other series, which continue to get lost in attempts to make it seem like it's all really the new status quo and isn't going to be undone in a month or so.

Batman #70:  I feel like I'm waiting for someone to give me permission to stop reading this series.  I mean, I just cannot fucking take another non sequitur poem.  Amazingly, King plummets even lower here, employing the most boring cliché of all Batman stories:  the assault on Arkham.  Bruce finally awakens here, and he makes a mad dash through Arkham, laughing at Bane thinking his nightmare experience has broken him.  King uses an off-panel conversation between Bane and the Ventriloquist to show that Bruce is doing exactly what Bane wants him to do, and the hysterical tinge of Bruce's voice implies that he might not be as with it as he thinks that he is.  But, it still doesn't mean that it isn't ridiculous that Bruce is able to defeat the Riddler, Killer Croc, Hush, Zsazz, Man-Bat, the Flamingo, Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow, Amygdala, Solomon Grundy, Two-Face, and several other characters whom I didn't recognize in one fell run.  It's clear that he barely even works up a sweat.  Why read a Batman comic if he's so powerful?  He's essentially Superman here.  The worst part is that we're nowhere near close to the final confrontation with Bane and Thomas Wayne, making you wonder just how long King is going to leave us hanging here.  [Sigh.]  This whole experience feels like penance, though I'm not sure what my sin was.

Star Wars #65:  The exciting part of this arc is that Gillen continues to surprise us with how badly Leia's plan is going.  At the start, it seemed like she and the guys were just going to waltz through Shu-Torun with ease.  Sure, the SCAR Squadron guys might get off Hubin and arrive at the last minute to make matters interesting, but it seemed beyond a doubt that Leia was going to get her revenge (no matter how much she claimed that she wasn't trying to get revenge).  But, Gillen is making it a lot more difficult than it usually is for heroes.  Trios decides to jeopardize the lives of everyone stuck in the auditorium with her in order to allow her and her elite guard to break free.  Sure, she possibly condemned Shu-Torun's nobility to a fiery, painful death, but she understands that Leia is playing for keeps.  (In fact, she intuitively understands it better than Leia does, since the Partisans' attempt to destroy Shu-Torun is something Leia missed entirely as a possibility.)  Moreover, SCAR Squadron gets in touch with the Empire more quickly than I thought it would, resulting in Commander Kanchar bringing his ship to Shu-Torun for his version of fun.  I can actually see a scenario where Leia and Trios have to work together to save Shu-Torun from the Partisans, a possibility that just shows how complex of a tale Gillen is weaving here.

Uncanny X-Men #17:  I don't understand how this issue goes so completely off the rails so quickly.  Sure, this series has occasionally had some dips in the quality of its dialogue, but Rosenberg has generally been pretty good about the consistency of his characterization.  But, everything goes out the window here.

First, we're supposed to believe that four frat boys beat Rahne to death because Rahne didn't fight back.  I'm sorry, what?  Rosenberg portrays Rahne as suicidal in her refusal to use her powers after she initially attacks one of the boys in a rage.  Rosenberg seems to want us to ignore the fact that Rahne has been in this game since she was a pre-teen.  We're supposed to believe that she can't control her powers enough to safely put down four frat boys?  Also, these frat boys are clearly sociopaths because when Wolverine finds them (with the help of Kwannon) they're just playing video games.  Really?  They just blithely kill a girl and decide, cool, let's go play "Fortnite?"

Then, we've got Karma reciting this ridiculous list of dead X-Men at Rahne's funeral, as if anyone really believes they're dead?  Given the X-Men's history, almost all of the X-Men inexplicably disappeared and no one even paused to consider if there is more than meets the eye here?  We're really just supposed to believe that they all believe all their friends are dead?  Shouldn't they be a little more despondent?  Shouldn't they just be drinking whiskey and crying all the time?  

Then, we've got Scott so mad at Logan for skipping Rahne's funeral that he unilaterally evicts him from the team even though, as Logan himself notes, he's not the team leader anymore.  They're a democracy.  Also, it's not like Scott was really "there" for the team as he claims that Logan should've been.  He starts the service by announcing that the doesn't know what he should say and just turns over the podium to anyone who wants to say something.  Inspiring leadership, Scotty.  

Then, we've got Logan being all inexplicably emotional, saying that he and Scott keep sending kids to die.  Again, Rahne was a grown-ass woman.  If anything, Logan not stopping her from leaving the team was probably a good decision in terms of her safety, since she had a better chance of surviving when she wasn't getting hunted as a member of an outcast mutant outfit.  How was he to know she'd go all suicidal?

Honestly, this issue is just the fucking worst.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #20.HU; Marvel Team-Up #2; Spider-Gwen:  Ghost Spider #8; Star Wars:  Age of Rebellion - Han Solo #1; Transformers #4; War of the Realms #3; War of the Realms:  Strikeforce - The Dark Elf Realm #1

Not-Very-New Comics: The March 6 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #16.HU:  Of all the crimes that Dan Slott committed while writing "Amazing Spider-Man," turning Felicia Hardy into a villain was second on my list (after the Octo-Spider bullshit).  As Nick Spencer carefully undoes Slott's legacy, I was thrilled when Peter revealed his identity to Felicia.  He righted a great wrong by putting them back on good footing.  Spencer even goes further here, treating Felicia, of all things, as a person with feelings.  First, we now know that Felicia's heel turn was at least partly inspired by the sudden loss of her memories of Peter, a pretty unveiled swipe at how casually Marvel erased everyone's memories of Peter's secret identity.  Then, Spencer explores what it's like for someone to experience a decade of those memories suddenly rushing back at them.  Along the way, Spencer treats us to the greatest hits of Felicia and Peter's relationship, from Peter's wide-eyed amazement at how forward Felicia is to Felicia's ongoing surprise at how charming she finds Peter.  The story culminates in Peter giving her the Spider-Tracer that we saw last issue, presenting it in a jewelry box that she understandably mistakes for something else.  The fact that Felicia mistook it for an engagement ring tells us just how deeply she loved Peter, and it makes me mad all over again at how callously Slott treated that.  But, it also means that I couldn't be happier with how Spencer is handling her.  I highly recommend this issue for any Felicia fan.

Avengers #16:  This issue is another solid installment of Aaron's vampire civil-war arc.  First, the Shadow Colonel's motivations actually make sense.  The first phase of the war involved purging vampiredom of the bloated old guard.  The second phase is turning some of Russian's worst criminals into vampires to strengthen the ranks.  To accomplish this second task, the Colonel sends the Rat Bombers' rats into the prison where the Winter Guard is holding Dracula, and their blood bombs usher in the transformations.  Meanwhile, Red Widow shows her brutality by slaughtering Dracula's consorts into front of him, forcing him to give up his secrets.  (For his part, Dracula thought he'd extract his own dacha from her for his secrets.  I guess not.)  Meanwhile, Blade somehow uses his vampiric powers to suck the poison from Robbie, allowing him to regain control of himself.  He's incredibly shaken, crying on Cap's shoulder that he didn't meant to hurt them.  He doesn't tell them he's also shaken because he ran across Johnny Blaze in Hell.  Figuring he's an even worse monster than Blaze, Robbie isn't exactly optimistic about his future.  Carol then voices what I'm sure most everyone is thinking as she wonders why they're involved into this civil war in the first place.  Blade not incorrectly reminds her that they'll all come after the Avengers sooner or later, but you have to wonder if that isn't a bet worth taking, given the damage this fight has already done.

Batman #66:  In reading this issue, I think Tom King doesn't understand Batman or Bruce at all, but he understands Selina perfectly.  It's why the best issues of his run on "Batman" have involved her.  Here, her conversation with the Question as he seeks the answer (heh) to why she left Bruce at the altar is the only thing selling me on "Knightmares."  Bruce is unprepared for this assault, and he sends the Question to interview Selina.  Selina insists that she left Bruce to make him stronger, but the Question rightfully points out her plan has left him captured, so maybe her plan isn't working.  She then admits she lied.  I think the real question is if I still care at this point.  (Spoiler alert:  I don't.)

Die #4:  Gillen gives the party a rest as they arrive in Glass Town, the first town established in Die.  An impenetrable, d20-shaped translucent barrier exists around it, and it sits on the edge of Eternal Prussia and Little England.  The townspeople throw open the doors to the party, declaring them the Paragons that prophecy says will save them from the "Devil Boy."  Realizing the townspeople are on their side, the party members settle into a night of drinking.

Before she can join them, Isabella makes peace with one of her gods, the Mourner, so she can heal her.  As part of the deal, Isabelle is forced to read to the Mourner's followers from the diaries that she kept during their first time in Die, along the way discovering that they've become holy texts.  (Mistress Woe, one of her other gods, apparently told Isabelle that she'll "pay [her] back in [Isabelle's] own time."  Ruh-roh.)  

Later, Chuck and Isabelle both press Ash to talk about why he chose to become a woman in Die, something for which Isabelle notes they didn't have the words to discuss when they were there the first time.  Angela intervenes on Ash's behalf, but starts to bawl.  Like Matthew, she worries about what her absence means to her children.  She laments her terrible choice in partners, and here we learn that Chuck was her first boyfriend.  But, she later confesses that her tears are about the spell that she's dying to cast, because it means she'll need to find Fair gold every day lest "he" dies.  Conveniently, the dwarven drinking companion they've accumulated just happens to have Fair.  As the issue's cover shows, Angela uses it to cast the aforementioned spell and summons her dog, Case.  Her joy is clear, and Gillen does a good job of showing just how much Angela has to lose -- her arm, her dog -- in transiting to the real world again.  Sure, she'll see her children again, but Case's arrival on the scene in Die ups the stakes.

Later, the town's leader (or, possibly, chief diviner) arrives, informing the party the road to Sol's fortress is blocked.  To enter it, they'll have to get three keys, found in the depths of three dungeons guarded by 12 "perils."  The party members are enraged, as it's clear that Sol is fucking with them with such an obvious quest.  Isabelle wonder if they could even successfully destroy him at Twenty, since masters are the most powerful in their homes.  However, Ash's idea for solving the problem shows how Sol might not be ready for the adult versions of his friends:  Ash suggests they destroy Glass Town, which Sol has molded in his image, to bring him to them.  That should go well.

Doomsday Clock #9:  OK, we've officially moved past the careful storytelling phase of this event and entered the ass-kicking phase.  The Justice League -- namely the Green Lanterns and Constantine -- examine the blast site in Moscow.  They realize that someone was trying to kill Superman and pin the blame on Firestorm.  They trace the energy to Mars and take virtually every hero on Earth with them to confront Dr. Manhattan.  Meanwhile, Bruce awakens from his coma and tries to send a message to the Justice League, saying they're being played.  Alfred reminds Bruce that he himself told Clark that Firestorm wasn't the culprit, but Bruce simply looks at Rorschach's journal and says he should've listened.  Clark remains in a coma, and Lois is surprised when Lex comes to "visit."  He tells her that he sent her the footage of the Justice Society heroes and that a "force" is undermining all existence.  He then cryptically asks her if she's ever heard of Wally West.  On Mars, Dr. Manhattan reveals to Firestorm that the Professor purposefully created the accident that merged them to examine metahumans from the inside.  (Later, we learn that the Professor was the head of the Department of Metahuman Affairs and likely the creator of the metahumans revealed as part of the Superman Theory.)  Wonder Woman addresses the United Nations, and President Trump renounces Superman (hilariously saying in his tweet that he'd done more for the world anyway).  It all comes to a head as Batman's message fails to arrive with the League in time and Dr. Manhattan destroys all the heroes on Mars.  Meanwhile, on Earth, Black Adam arrives with Giganta and the Creeper to break into the United Nations, announcing he's "making a move."  Indeed.

Star Wars #62:  "I hate to sound like your dad, kid, but what the hell are you doing hanging around with death cults?"  Ha ha ha.  Well played, Gillen, well played.  Other than that line, the best part of this issue is Leia having to deny that it's a revenge mission as she gathers former allies and colleagues to destroy Shu-Torun.

Uncanny X-Men #13:  I’m surprised to say it, but this series may be the most exciting one on the stands right now.  For the first time in a long time, Rosenberg gives the X-Men a purpose, as Scott puts together a target list of the X-Men’s greatest threats and thorniest problems.  (Logan calls it a kill list.  Magik calls it a suicide pack.  Probably most accurately, Alex calls it the invite list to the worst party ever.)  First on their list is Dark Beast, who they capture only after learning he’s been torturing Jamie Madrox in an underground bunker.  (My only complaint with this issue is this part.  Not only has Marvel still not told us how Jamie allegedly survived yet another brush with death in "Death of X," when everyone was clear that Jamie Prime was dead even in the "Multiple Man" miniseries, but we have yet another villain torturing him.  Can we please put this plotline to rest so we can get back the Jamie that we “X-Factor” fans know and love?)  Rosenberg is at his best when he focuses on the team’s dynamic.  Alex is the same disgruntled mess that we last saw in the promising “Astonishing X-Men.”  In fact, by making the team live in the back of Harry’s Bar, Rosenberg seems to be (wisely) treating this series as an extension of that one.  But, that said, Alex has pulled himself together a bit, as he threatens Scott here by telling him that he won’t let Scott become the man that he was (or the X-Men become the team that they were before they died).  Rosenberg is underlining Alex as the moral center of the team, which makes sense on a team where the only other members in full charge of their faculties are Scott, Logan, and Illyana.  Next issue, Rosenberg picks up where “X-Men Disassembled” ended, with the MLF hitting pharmacies that are distributing the mutant vaccine.  The X-Men hiding in the shadows while trying to make the world a better place is exactly where they should be.

Also Read:  Age of X-Man:  Prisoner X #1; Avengers:  No Road Home #4; Conan the Barbarian #4; Star Wars:  Vader - Dark Visions #1