Friday, March 8, 2024

Twelve-Month-Old Comics!: The March 1 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Red Zone #1:  I honestly don't have too much to say about this issue since it's pretty self-explanatory.  

A (handsome as fuck) special ops captain named Simon Crow approaches Professor Randall Crane in his office and tells him that his old lover, prima ballerina assoluta Elena Sidorov, demanded his presence as a condition of her defection.  Crane accompanies Crow and his team to Russia and discovers Elena also wants her daughter (allegedly not Randall's) Nika to come with her.  

Via Crane's earpiece, Crow agrees, but the enemy arrives.  Elena leaps across the table and opens fire on the soldiers, making it clear she wasn't just a ballerina.  The enemy takes out Crow and his team as Randall escapes with Nika to an old warehouse, making it clear that he isn't just a professor.  

The story is great, but Deodata's art, as always, is the main draw.  I've always wished comics told more stories like this one.

Star Wars #32:  Holy shit, the issue is more fucking like it!  After so many issue of exposition, Soule finally returns to the type of issue where you can hear the characters speaking in the actors' voices in your head.

First things first, it's hard with characters this iconic to make other characters interesting enough that you focus on them, but the banter between the two guards watching Chewie and Lobot is reminiscent of Adam Pally's and Jason Sudeikis' in "The Mandalorian."  After discussing the mechanics of Shyriiwook, the pair agree to take Chewie (and Lobot) to Lando since he speaks Shyriiwook.  Hilariously, the minute Chewie walks into Lando's cell, he's distracted by the fact that he knows Lando and Amilyn did stuff; according to Lando, "Wookiees always pick up the vibes."

Lando brings Chewie to Blythe to explain his epiphany from last issue about the mural depicting a Nihil path engine, but Blythe dismisses it since he figures, after all these centuries, someone else would've already put two and two together.  Blythe warns Lando that hope is dangerous in No-Space.  Lando responds that he doesn't believe in hope but does believe in luck.  Arguing Chewie arriving in No-Space is the latter not the former, Lando informs Blythe that the team has a path engine back at the Great Hall.  Feeling the first bloom of hope, Blythe agrees to lend them a ship.  He refuses to risk his own people, though, so he's only going to send the team.  He's going to hold Leia at the Colony, though, so the team doesn't escape No-Space once they get the engine.  

We then begin the comedy segment of the show.  When the team discovers the condition of the ship - a bucket of bolts where Blythe once let "voidroaches" mate - they're hilarious outraged.  Later, Blythe and Leia have a similarly hilarious conversation as she updates him on the galaxy's recent events over the last 35 years.  When he asks if the people fight back against the Emperor, Leia quips, "Some."  Heh.

At the Hall, Luke leaps from the ship to distract the killdroids, prompting Lando to quip, "Just don't know about that kid sometimes."  Before Amilyn and Lando leap into the fray, they have a nice moment.  Eventually Chewie makes a break for it and grabs the path engine.  As the fight continues, Luke gets increasingly more cocky.  If he was concerned about his connection with the Force before, he isn't now.  However, before the team leaves, he decides to nab the sacred Jedi text, opening the door to a killdroid grabbing his hand and crushing his lightsaber.  Uh-oh!

Again, this issue is the first fun one we've had for a while, with Soule taking the time to show everyone's personality clearly.  He also puts them in a barely operational ship, which is basically the only way we know this crowd.  It's great stuff.

Star Wars:  Han Solo and Chewbacca #10:  It was pretty clear from the start of this endeavor that the urn was a McGuffin.  As such, the plot isn't really impacted when Greedo turns over the urn to Jabba at the issue's start.

Instead, the real drama happens in the flashback to 36 hours earlier as the various players attempt to escape each other.  Han does battle with Tyra aboard the Falcon as Akko opens fire on them, leaving Phaedra to pilot the ship (which she doesn't know how to do).  Meanwhile, Chewie and Marshall Vancto battle while Khel, Ooris, and T'onga all open fire on them.

Aboard the Falcon, Han lies and tells Tyra that the urn contained nothing, which Tyra wisely doesn't believe.  Chewie breaks free from his fight with Vancto in time to see Khel land a hit on the Falcon.  Meanwhile, Vancto gets hold of T'onga and threatens to kill her if Khel and Ooris don't surrender.  But Chewie gets the drop on them all and makes a deal to turn over Khel to Vancto if Vancto gets Chewie to the Falcon.  Aboard the Falcon, Han eventually knocks out Tyra and takes the controls in time to crash land it safely-ish.

On the ground, Han goes after an escaping Tyra, who taunts him that he's soft given how quickly he jumped at the possibility that Tyra was his dad.  As Tyra tells Han that he's too trusting, Han shoots him and he falls from the log where they're standing into the river.  Han recalls that Tyra isn't the first father figure who thought that he was soft.  (It's a nice callback to "Solo:  A Star Wars Adventure.")  Han returns to find Akko holding Phaedra at gun point, but Chewie arrives with Vancto and company.

Vancto departs to collect the bounty on Khel for her role in the Galator III heist (which I don't remember, but apparently happened in issue #1), and Han leaves Akko, Ooris, and T'onga stranded like they did to him in issue #7.  Later, he buries the neural core where Jabba won't find it and offers to take Phaedra with him to rob Augustus Graves' accounts on Scipio.  

The issue ends in the present, as Greedo tells a not-surprisingly still alive Tyra that Jabba bought their story but seemed to expect something else in the urn than the charred ronto ashes they put in it.  (Instead of 1,000,000 credits, Bib Fortuna earlier suggested he pay Greedo 80,000 credits, which is something for charred ronto ashes, I guess.)

The biggest reveal is the end page's assertion that Ajax Sigma, like Optimus Prime, will return.  Since I'm reading this issue several months (ahem, a year) late, I'm going to assume the "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" event involves him, which makes me more excited about it than I was.

I'm sad to see this series end, since it was clever and fun.  But, it's obvious we have unsettled business here, as Guggenheim never revealed how Tyra knew what he knew about Han's father.  Is he Han's father?  I'm pretty sure we'll never know, but Han'll go through some heartache nevertheless.

Star Wars:  Hidden Empire #4:  Just like "Star Wars" #32, this issue is an unexpected surprise, as Soule supercharges a story that seemed to have no point into one that seems to explain everything that we know about this galaxy far, far away.

The issue begins creepily.  Vader tells Palpatine that he felt a "great intensity of the Dark Side" in the Fermata Cage, seemingly confirming Qi'ra's assertion that the Cage contains an ancient Sith Lord.  Palpatine challenges Vader to a duel and reminds Vader that, per the Rule of Two, only two of them can survive if this Sith Lord emerges.  Palpatine expresses admiration for Qi'ra's trap, hilariously quipping, "She will be missed."  It's like a Sith "Bless your heart."

Meanwhile, Sava the Archivist is frantically flying to a "hidden, ancient place" that I believe (but can't confirm) we've seen before.  Sava tells Qi'ra that the place is filled with "both the Dark Side and abundant life" to feed the Cage, which her experiments indicate needs such fuel.  Sava tells Qi'ra she's willing to sacrifice her life for the cause, but she'd die before she could fully charge and activate the Cage.

As such, Qi'ra sets in motion her final plan.  Deathstick refuses to join the effort, as she isn't a foot solider, though Qi'ra convinces a skeptical Ren to join with the Knights after she observes that taking out the Sith is the only way they won't spend the rest of their lives on the run after attacking Vader's fortess.  She tells Cadeliah she likely won't see her again, instructing her to play a message from a disc she hands her in five days if she hasn't heard from her.  She then contacts a third entity, though we don't find out who it is in this issue.

At the Amaxine Station (the place for which Sava was searching), Sava turns on the Cage.  Meanwhile, Qi'ra delivers a rousing speech to the Dawn's troops before they head to the Station.  It's in this moment that Soule finally sells everything that he and the other authors have done with Qi'ra, as you realize that we're seeing a separate rebellion against the Empire here.  You have to wonder if Leia didn't make a catastrophic mistake not trying harder to bring Qi'ra into the Rebellion's fold when you see the resolve (and resources) she brings to the table here.

At the Station, Sava is panicked when the Executor arrives.  Palpatine taunts Vader by telling him that he can feel his desire to fight the Sith Lord allegedly inside the Cage, in part because he feels the same way.  Instead, he isn't an idiot and orders the Executor's crew to open fire on the Station.  Suddenly, the Dawn arrives!  These scenes are impressive, as you see just how many people and ships Qi'ra is throwing against the Sith.  You also get to see the commitment of the foot soldiers Deathstick so dismissed earlier in the issue as they prepare for the coming fight.  The issue ends with Palpatine and Vader arriving at the Station, so a fight they shall have!

Thursday, March 7, 2024

Twelve-Month-Old Comics!: The February 22 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Black Cloak #2:  This series is, bar none, the best on the market and everyone should read it now!

We begin with Phaedra on a slab in the morgue.  She isn't dead, though.  Nida enters as Phaedra awakens and informs her that the assailant stabbed her with a dracona dagger and informs *us* that only draconas are likely to survive assaults from dracona daggers.  Dun-dun-DUN!  Phaedra mentions off-handedly that someone attacked her at the castle, and Nida interrupts her, shocked, since Phaedra hadn't told her about the attack yet.  Phaedra dismisses the castle attack as "honor bullshit" but notes that the dracona attack was definitely not that.

To explain how she isn't dead, Phaedra recalls that the elves magically healed her after the castle attack, so they could argue the magic persisted and saved her.  Nida points out the small pair of wings Phaedra grew suggests she tell everyone the truth.  Phaedra refuses, saying people will kill her mother and possibly her father.  Nida is enraged that Phaedra has to live her life in exile, fearing "honor killings and retribution at any moment," thus directly tying Phaedra's exile to her heritage.  It sounds like she had to leave to keep the secret, but I wonder what the cover story for leaving was.  Phaedra tells Nida that she likes her life, but Nida isn't buying it.

After Nida leaves, Phaedra realizes that she's next to Freyal's body.  Upon inspection, she finds a scar in his tattoo, which the computer diagnoses as probably self-inflected.  A tearful Phaedra asks his body why he would do that and laments that he's cold, noting that he always hated the cold.

In a flashback, Phaedra's mother recalls when the tattoos were a solemn rite, which she hated, because she felt bound by it.  But she says all the kids think they're cool so they love them.  Phaedra replies that she loves Freyal and the tattoo is just a bonus.  She realizes though that her mother was saying that she didn't love her father, and her mother slyly tells her that she loved her father more than anything.  Phaedra realizes that the stories don't align, but Freyal arrives in time to distract her.  They have a lovely moment but, as they kiss, Phaedra feels an itch, not realizing that her nascent wings cause it.

Leaving the morgue, Phaedra encounters Pax as he reviews the "lookie-loos" he's had to interview (and accuses Phaedra of almost getting killed just to avoid the interviews.)  

After interviewing a few lunatics together, they come to Romu and Iona, who I think are two of the hooligans who were at the Lookout last issue.  Iona tells Phaedra that they're there because mermaids get a bad rap.  Romu tells Phaedra and Pax that he and Iona stayed after the other two hooligans (Jessup and Tomig) left.  Apparently if the wind is right you can hear the mermaids, which Romu describes as a test of wills.  As they watched (Romu says they "do really cool stuff"), a figure in a "long, dark hooded cloak" floated to the beach carrying a body.  Romu then saw a flash of light, and the body was gone and the figure was already at the wall leaving.  Iona tells Phaedra that she saw the "big flash of gold light," but Romu had the spyglass so she can't confirm everything else other than that she saw a figure.

Suddenly, a noise signaling "ten ticks until the Brownout" happens, and Iona and Romu panic, telling the detectives that they have to get home before their parents get mad.  After the kids leave, Pax notes that their figure didn't have wings so he assumes it used magic to float.

At home, Phaedra realizes that she isn't alone, and three very well dressed humans reveal themselves.  The woman is surprised Phaedra senses them since they were "well cloaked."  Phaedra tells them that she knows who they are:  the woman is Elea Veris, and the men are Galal III of Veris and Aldric II of Solas.  Phaedra describes them as the three most powerful humans in Kiros.  

Galal is apparently the next in life for the throne now that Freyal is dead, which is an interesting political arrangement.  Phaedra notes that it would shift power from the elves to humans for the first time.  Galal tells Phaedra that they want their names cleared so they don't ascend the throne under a scandal, and Phaedra notes that the Queen is still alive and will outlive them all.  Galal responds with a muted, "Of course," instantly putting our suspicion on them (particularly given that they're magic users).  

When Phaedra asks what they want, Galal responds that they don't want anything from her:  they want to give her a "nice juicy lead."  Next, Phaedra is exiting her apartment and calling Pax to meet her at the Trees, where he apparently already is.  She passes through a beautiful gate warning non-fliers to proceed with caution and takes a ferris wheel-like elevator into the Trees.  Cryptically, the issue ends with Phaedra saying to the camera (if you will), "Let's see what you can tell me yourself, Freyal."

As I mentioned last issue, the world-building here is spectacular.  Thompson has created a world so full of detail that it feels impossible that we'd ever come to grasp its full historical, political, and social realities, even in 100 issues.  Moreover, we get most of this information not through expository monologuing but through character development.  Moreover, McLaren's love of the story is clear in each line she draws and color she paints.

 Again, I can't recommend it enough.

Dragon Age:  The Missing #2:  I don't particularly remember Solas as turning people to stone, but I might've glossed over that detail after learning that he was the elven god responsible for creating the Fade.  But it's a relevant piece of data, since Varric and Harding arrive at Lady Crysanthus' estate in Vyrantium to discover her petrified (and the Antaam sieging Vyrantium).  After shaking down Crysanthus' valet, Varric and Harding discover a secret room showing her efforts to help the Venatori make a strike against the Imperium.  (I'm assuming she'd benefit from a Venatori-led Imperium.)  She and the Venatori sought the Crucious Stone, some sort of elven magical artifact in the Arlathan forest, where only a few Dalish tribes reside.  It seems clear now that the invitation we saw at the end of last issue is one Crysanthus sent the Venatori and Solas intercepted.  To Arlathan we go!

Local Man #1:  I picked up this series because I loved Seeley's work on "Grayson" and "Nightwing," and I'm thrilled I did.  Like Seely, I was a 15 year old (well, 16 year old) kid when "Youngblood" hit the stands, and I couldn't have been more excited.  I didn't totally understand it, and the focus on sex made me nervous.  (Shaft made me feel...things second only to the way Spartan from "WildC.A.T.s" made me feel...things.)  Like Seeley says here, it felt freeing to see Liefeld tell the story that he wanted to tell, one of the first times that comics seemed to depict superheroes the way that they'd likely exist in reality.

I'm thrilled to say Seeley and Fleecs capture that feeling in a bottle here.  First, they ramps up my excitement when Jack's mother asks him if he's tried getting Brigade or Cyberforce to hire him.  The authors doesn't just get the vibe of that Imageverse (which they totally get) but make it clear we're actually in that universe.  I enjoyed Chad Bowers' reboot of "Youngblood," as it was filled with the same bold-faced narrative and brightly colored action as the original series were.  But Seeley and Fleecs are taking the vibe of that era and infusing it with...well, a plot.  The art drives home this point, as the issue's color palette is subdued when portraying Jack's present and bold when portraying Third Gen.

Getting to the basics, the aforementioned "Jack" is Jack Xaver, formerly Crossjack of Third Gen.  Third Gen enterprises fired Jack for reasons that aren't clear.  It *is* clear that he's a disgrace, something his mother actually calls him when he arrives home.  (Also driving home that point is when a guy recognizes him sitting at the bus stop and yells out, "Fuck Crossjack.")  Jack escapes home for a bar where a guy named Hodag busts past the bouncer.  Jack thinks he wants to fight him and doesn't give Hodag a chance to reveal that he's there to tell him about a "place" he went.

After Jack gets thrown from the bar, his high-school sweetheart Inga takes him to her diner.  You get the sense that Inga isn't as happy as her Facebook page implies she is, but their conversation is interrupted when Third Gen appears to serve Jack papers for using a shield in his fight, contrary to his agreement.  Jack declines Inga's offer of a ride home (possibly because he knows something might develop) and is surprised to find to his parents' elderly dog, Pepper, in a field.  Pepper is more than she appears:  Jack swears she was 14 years old when he left home, and she evades the projectile he throws at her in the field despite his later insistence that he never misses.

But Pepper isn't the only mystery, as someone kills Hodag in his cell as he's yet again talking about how he's hoping to tell Jack about the place that can make the pain disappear.

All in all, it's a wonderful start.  I'm here for where Seeley and Fleece are taking us.

Star Wars:  Yoda #4:  This series is taking the vignette approach of similar series, though the recent "Star Wars:  Obi-Wan Kenobi" series felt more coherent than this one.  

Starting off this arc, Yoda invites Count Dooku to spend time with the recent class of Padawans.  Dooku becomes the confidante of a Wookiee Padawan who had a vision that the Trandoshians were going to massacre his people.  It's notable because one of the Wookiee's friends is a Trandoshian, which Yoda sees as evidence of what Jedi training can achieve by removing Padawans from their people's prejudices.  When the Wookiee tells Dooku about his vision, Dooku suggests the young Wookiee tell no one of his vision, alluding to the fate of Sifo-Dyas, his old yet seemingly estranged friend.

It's all fine, but it feels more like AI-generated fan-fiction right now than anything else.  Like the first arc, I don't particularly feel like I've gotten any insight into Yoda himself.  It's mostly Yoda being Yoda.

Undiscovered County #23:  Snyder and Soule are vamping here, as we don't really learn anything new.  

Future Chang and future Janet bring Present Chang and Present Janet to a movie theater to reveal the world's greatest secret, whatever it was that they saw in America that made them decide to kill Ace, Charlotte, and Daniel.  However, Ace arrives with a souped up Buzz and ruins the party before we can learn more.

In the flashback (flash forward?), Future Chang and Future Janet reveal that they only need to stop Charlotte and Daniel from reaching the center of the Spiral (and not necessarily to prevent them from leaving America with the Sky cure).  Future Ace has Future Valentina flee, which she does, but Future Valentina doesn't reveal why Future Chang and Future Janet let her live out her days in the Empire.  She tells Present Ace that she doesn't know why they decided to act agains their colleagues, so I guess she wasn't a risk.

In the past, Charlotte and Valentina swipe Lavant's tablet, which controls time, and escape through a variety of timelines until Lavant attacks them at Gettysburg.  I don't really get the physics here, to be honest.  Lavant told Charlotte and Valentina that Aurora was able to create all these timelines, but he actually becomes Abraham Lincoln, implying a higher level of manipulation than I thought.  I guess that makes sense, since the whole point of Zone History is to manipulate events to see how they create different outcomes.

This arc still remains intriguing, as it feels like the "greatest secret" will change what we understand about how Aurora works and where the team fits into her plans.  But it's time to get there.

Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Twelve-Month-Old Comics!: The February 15 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars #31:  This issue isn't particularly exciting, as Soule spends most of it setting up the narrative framework for where we go from here.  But it does give me hope for future issues now that he's accomplished that task.

The issue begins with the Kezarat Colony's leader - a green-skinned, one-eyed humanoid named Captain Blythe - expositing the Colony's history to the team.  He describes the convoy's initial encounters with the Nihil and their Killdroids and the original colonists' suspicion that the Nihil had technology allowing them to come and go from No-Space.  The original colonists eventually raided the Nihil's home base, the Great Hall, but found only the Killdroids.  To this day, the Colony doesn't know whether the Nihil left No-Space or the Killdroids eradicated them.

Blythe's surprisingly human-looking son, Forvan, expresses disdain for Blythe leaving out the most important part (to him) of the tale, of a Jedi finding her way to the Colony and helping it fight off the Nihil.  Blythe explains Forvan and others believe in a legend that a Jedi will one day free them and asks Luke to let Forvan down easy.  When Luke tries, Forvan isn't having it.  (Of course, *we* know that Forvan is right, so...)

Meanwhile, Chewie offers to go through the Colony's records to see if other people missed a clue, which Blythe agrees to let him do...in six months, when they start thinking like "olds" instead of "news."  Blythe then separates the team into three groups:  Chewie and Lobot, who sit around quietly; Holdo and Lando, who make out; and Leia and Luke, who discuss Luke's anxiety over leaving the sacred Jedi text on Holdo's ship.  The issue ends with Chewie realizing that the glowing green light on the mural that Forvan showed them (the one that depicts the Jedi) is the Nihil Path engine.

In addition to this issue's exposition, we thankfully get some characterization, particularly through Lando and Holdo's flirting.  Lando asks if Holdo has any cards for them to play, and she tells him that she wouldn't play cards with him after everything she's heard about him from Leia.  Lando laments that he feels stuck as the person that he was because no one believes that he is trying to change.  Holdo encourages him not to worry about what other people think of him, a little disingenuous given she's the only who dismissed him based on what other people said about him.  Maybe that's why she made out with him.

At any rate, hopefully we'll get some action - and not just Lando and Holdo's version of it - next issue.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #31:  This issue's suspense coms from the fact that Valance is almost a match for Vader, but, of course, Vader eventually gets the upper hand.  Vader being Vader, he doesn't just get the upper hand by physically besting Valance; he also destroys the village that Valance spared last issue.  In so doing, he underscores for Valance the Empire's ability to negate his attempts to be a hero.  

Haydenn volunteers to serve as Valance's executioner but instead uses her cybernetic eye to shoot him in a way that he'd survive and conveniently send him off a cliff where T'onga and her crew can collect him.  Later, on Vader's ship, Haydenn dispatches Inferno Squad to track down Valance.  

Meanwhile, on Corellia, as she listens to underlings plotting to replace her with Cadelia, Vukorah recalls her father forcing her as a child to kill her cat to prove her loyalty to the Unbroken Clan.

Overall, it's a solid issue, but I still feel like we're missing something.  For example, I felt barely anything when Haydenn and Valance ended their relationship at gun point, because I don't really feel like Sacks did anything to convince me they really cared for the other one (despite their declarations here).  It's probably a reflection of the fact we have way too much characters.  Hopefully with Valance with T'onga's crew Sacks can focus the lens a little more tightly.

Tuesday, March 5, 2024

Twelve-Month-Old Comics!: The February 8 Edition - Part 2 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Miracleman by Gaiman and Buckingham:  The Silver Age #4:  This issue stalls us a bit, as we don't gain any new insights into the story that Gaiman is telling.  Instead, two adolescents - Phon Mooda and Dickie Dauntless - ponder why they can't quite put their finger on what feels wrong about this world.

First, Phon Mooda is called before the Black Warpsmiths, a trio of enormous Warpsmiths who are connected to each other and, we learn, created the other Warpsmiths.  They ask Phon Mooda for her thoughts about the "confluent world" rather than the facts she usually delivers.  She confesses that something about the world seems wrong, though she can't yet define it.  They ask about the Miraclechildren, and, except for Winter, Phon Mooda dismisses the others as focused on "entertaining" themselves and little more.  

We then get some cryptic alien speak, as the Black Warpsmiths ask her about the Qys and she tells them that the Qys "never understood how the Cuckoo Seed was fertile to begin with."  (Sure.)  Phon Mooda admits that, unlike other worlds, this one doesn't seem to mature, opining that "this relatively short experiment may actually be winding up."  The Black Warpsmiths inform her that something Phon Mooda calls "the Whisper" at the edge of the Universe merits their attention.  She leaves their presence.

Meanwhile, Dickie asks Tom Caxton if Miracelman did anything to make him want to stop being Mister Master.  Caxton obviously doesn't understand why Dickie asks this question and instead narrates his realization that he had gotten everything he ever wanted and didn't know what happened next, which is why he asked for the Gold Kryptonite.  Caxton tells Dickie that he knows that he's Young Miracleman and asks him what his real name is, provoking Dickie to realize, seemingly or the first time, that it probably isn't Dickie.  

Meta-maid arrives and informs Dickie that sexy, sexy Jason is ready to leave and confides to Caxton that she's going with Dickie because she's tired of being around "superfucks."  Hauntingly, she says that it's "so nice to be around someone who knows who they are."

In the post-script story, Miracleman reviews Dickie's past to try to find evidence of what he's missing, as Avril earlier suggested that maybe it wasn't Miracleman but something else he wanted.  He reviews Miracelman's first encounter with Young Nastyman but finds nothing to light a path for him.

In other words, Gaiman is flagging a central mystery that we maybe didn't realize yet was a mystery.  Phon Mooda, Dickie, and Miracleman are all looking for something that explains an absence they feel, which implies that it's something bigger than just Miracleman's machinations.  We'll see.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #31:  OMG, we're *finally* starting to get somewhere here.  

After yet another issue of Vader playing with his food, he and the Handmaidens finally force Jul Tambor to flee and rescue to Sabé.  Pak reveals that Vader's motive is really to find a consort that he thought he had in Padmé, as we see through flashbacks of his confrontation with Padmé on Mustafar as well as his imaginings of how it could've gone if Padmé accepted his offer to rule the galaxy.  Acting on these feelings, Vader holds the rest of the Handmaidens in a Force Grip as he offers Sabé a place by his side.  

Again, it's taken *way* too long to get here, but I'm glad we're finally here.

Star Wars:  Hidden Empire #3:  I remember not being particularly impressed with this series, which is surprising given how much I like Charles Soule.  But this issue is solid.  

Chanath Cha and her team, the Orphans, arrive on whichever planet it is where the Archivist finds herself to save her and the Fermata Cage.  (No one particularly seems to care about her assistant, Kho Phon Farrus.)  Chanath has apparently spent her life trying to get close to Vader to avenger her parents, so she and Sear stay to take on Vader while Imara Vex and Ladybright accompany the Archivist and Kho to their ship.  Vader unsurprisingly kills Sear and knocks Imara off the ship (to an uncertain fate).  Ladybright plans on saving Chanath (and disobeying Qi'ra), but the Archivist disassembles her in order to stay safe from Vader.  As brutal as it seems, the Archivist is smart in doing so, as Vader easily kills Chanath.

This issue is about more than just getting the Archivist from Vader.  It's also a rumination on how revenge motivates so many people in this galaxy far, far away, though they seldom get to see their first for it satisfied.  Vader notes that Chanath sacrifices her whole life to get her the point where she could stop Vader, but, of course, all the time she stopped him not at all.  Similarly, Qi'ra notes to Cadeliah that Chanath thought she was the main character in her own story, when really she was just a side character in Qi'ra's (and not even a character in Vader's).  It's brutal but true.  

Of course, we all know that Qi'ra is a side character in Vader's life.  Soule is pretty much winking to the audience on this point, stressing what we all know except for Qi'ra, that this damned fool idealistic crusade ends poorly for her.

Storm and the Brotherhood of Mutants #1:  Storm recounts the fall of Arakko as Sinister finally launches his invasion, blaming augmented Skrull troops for the attack.  She's recounting these events from the remains of Arakko - an asteroid archipelago - as she berates Destiny for advising her not to attack Sinister and Krakoa when she wanted, ten years earlier.

Of course, it turns out "Destiny" is Mystique, who informs Storm about Sinister manufacturing Moira clones, including one created ten years ago.  Storm and company travel to Muir Island with Sinister, where Whiz Kid uses technology he created - and Storm recognizes as not the same as his usual technology - to teleport away Sinister's lab.  But it turns out "Taki" was Mystique (again), and she kills Storm once the lab is transported to the World Farm, where Destiny and Orbit Stellaris await.  (She was clearly using Sinister's technology instead of Taki's, addressing Storm's suspicion.)

We learn that Destiny is doing everything because this timeline is the only one where Mystique lives, a reminder that she is a villain at her core.  Not only did she advise Storm not to attack Sinister ten years ago, she has Mystique steal the lab because Sinister was going to reset this timeline the next day when he loses a Quiet Council vote.  (I don't get how he could lose a vote to people he controlled, but I'll allow the mulligan because I liked this issue.)

The remaining questions from this issue is what the force field at the center of Sinister's lab hid.  Next issue jumps 100 years, a reminder that the team is telling a story related to the X3 timeline that Hickman showed us in "Powers of X."

Monday, March 4, 2024

Twelve-Month-Old Comics!: The February 8 Edition - Part 1 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #19:  The only problem with this issue is that it makes me pine for Kelly and Dodson to take over this title.  

Unlike Wells, Kelly manages to mix comedy with action and drama in an organic way throughout the issue.  Deciding to take their relationship to the next level, Felicia and Peter unexpected find Mary Jane and Paul at the same upstate spa.  (Hilariously, Felicia and Paul have a sotte voce conversation about using a Snapshot groupon.)  

Kelly milks the tension for all its worth, from Peter clutching shut his robe (and Felicia, to Paul's discomfort, reminding Peter that both she and Mary Jane has seen him naked) to Peter finally opening his robe to reveal "Here, Kitty, Kitty" boxer shorts.  Ha!  The comedic awkwardness also advances the plot as Felicia tells Peter that he needs to be honest with her (and himself) about his feelings for Mary Jane.  It's always fun when Felicia is the responsible adult.

Moreover, this tension isn't just the issue's point, as it so often is in Wells' stories.  Instead, it's the backdrop of Peter and Felicia discovering that White Rabbit has stolen gear that mimics the Sinister Six's powers.  She's dating a genius, Mychal, who installed safeties on the gear so they can rent it to rich tech bros to play "The Greatest Game," super-villain style.  Honestly?  I'm surprised this scenario hasn't played out yet in the real world.  Kelly's gift for comedy remains on full display throughout the action as Peter gets into a genius pissing contest as the bros trying to figure out how his Web-Shooters work, resulting in Felicia telling him to stop Spideysplaining to "entitled felons."

But it isn't all giggles and laughs as Mychal winds up dead and the bro seem to want to kill Spider and Felicia as they take off the safeties.

[Sigh.]  If only we got such a multifaceted story every moth...I guess I'll have to enjoy it while I can.

Batman #132:  Zdarsky throws us right into the mystery here as the issue begins with Bruce shadowing Jewel as she tries to save people from getting sent to Arkham.  

As they patrol the streets, Bruce learns that Judge Dent sent Jewel's father to Arkham due to his grief over her mother's death from cancer.  Jewel recognizes Bruce is having a hallucination (he's staring at Jimbo from last issue) and tells him that they aren't from "multiversal travel" (as Bruce thought) but from "Crane Brain," a drug the authorities pump into the air to find more victims for Arkham.  She gives Bruce pills that block the drug's effect and tells Bruce that Halliday Industries produces the pills at Athena Tower.  Bruce realizes that Halliday might have taken over the role that Wayne Enterprises played in his Gotham so heads there.

In an interlude, Red Mask visits Dent, who's stewing about the possibility that Bruce is out there.  In a show of power, Red Mask de-Venomizes Dent, shrinking him into a skeletal version of himself.  Red Mask demands Dent find Bruce, treating to take away his "gift" more permanently.

Bruce begins to show uncharacteristic signs of emotional trauma as he talks to Jewel.  He makes her eggs, and she's amazed at how good they are.  He comments on how his sons were always hungry, and an old friend taught him how to make them.  Later, Jewel works with Bruce to develop a persona so he can attend Halliday's upcoming fundraiser where, of course, Bruce encounters Selina.  She exposits for us that this world's Bruce Wayne gave up his billions to become a social worker before his presumed death.  She points out Halliday in the crowd...and it's the Joker.  Man, I did *not* see that coming.  Before Bruce (or we) can process that, Punchline arrives, and she and Selina attack.  Killer Croc joins the fun, and Bruce realizes he's in trouble.  He takes out Croc and marvels how the wealthy Athena Tower residents don't even flinch at the violence.

Then he sees Alfred.  At the issue's start, we saw that this world's Alfred is in a relationship with Leslie Thompkins, and it's clear that he used the money Bruce left him to buy their safety in the Tower.  Bruce shakes off the idea that it's *his* Alfred or *his* Selina, but he's distracted enough for a cop to shoot him, propelling him out the building.  Bruce falls through a warehouse skylight and, lying on the floor, confesses to himself that he misses his "sons" and "his" Selina.  It's a heartbreaking moment, but he tells himself that any Gotham is his Gotham.  Stumbling through the streets, Bruce tries to help someone fight off one of Judge Dent's cops but gets his ass handed to him.  In one of Zdarksy's most brilliant moments, as Bruce lays bleeding in the alley, he sees a bat and decides, "I shall become a bat."  Damn, this series is on fire.

The back-up story is just as good.  We learn that Toyman went on a rampage before he died, and the gun he used - the one Failsafe used on Batman - either turned people into toy versions of themselves or dissipated them.  Tim examines one of the toys and realizes that it's producing multiversal energy.  Correctly realizing that Toyman didn't kill himself but instead sent himself and the disappeared and toy people to another reality, Tim calls Mister Terrific.  

Mister Terrific provides Tim with a new invention, an outfit that creates a tether and discs so the user can travel multiversally.  Tim is surprised when he arrives in a suburban area but quickly tracks down the victims...only for Toyman and his army of toy-ified victims to find him.

In other words, it's great stuff.  If I have one complaint it's that Zdarsky feels like he's rushing a bit.  He probably could've found a way to delay the confrontation at Athena Tower to next issue.  I'm just greedy, though.  I don't want any of it to end.

Blade Runner 2039 #3:  As usual, Johnson does a great job of slowly unspooling the mystery at this series' core.  We don't know everything yet, but we know enough that Ash should be worried.

Ash visits Wojciech in a retirement home; it seems lovely so it's nice to see someone in this series might have a happy ending (hopefully).  Wojciech confirms that she heard rumors about a Replicant Blade Runner but doesn't have any more information about it.  She encourages Ash to leave it be, which we (including Wojciech) know she won't do.

Ash stops by a noodle place before heading to the sticks, and Cleo finds her there because Ash took her there once.  Ash is enraged that Cleo is there, but Cleo tells her that Isobel is missing.  Cleo takes Ash to her penthouse, explaining that they're not rich on Arcadia but money goes further on Earth.  She explains that she's a schoolteacher and married with a son.  She wants to know more about Ash, but Ash is worried about her safety so tells her to stay in the apartment.

At a bar later, Ash is worried about all these "coincidences:"  a Replicant Blade Runner, Cleo on Earth, Isobel in the wind.  Underscoring Ash's senes, Hythe arrives and tells Ash that she met the Replicant Blade Runner.  She hands Ash the data Wallace wants, figuring they'll be safer with her, and Ash saves her right before she's assassinated.  Ash and Hythe then take out two Wallace employees who originally picked up Luv at the issue's start.  

The issue ends with Luv arriving at Cleo's apartment, though I don't know how she realized "Mrs. Calhoun" was Cleo.  She had been reviewing traffic files (as part of her punishment), so maybe a traffic camera identified her?  We'll see.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #10:  Silva is spectacular here, as he walks us through Cap and Nomad trying to take out Falcon in a battle in the sky.  Thankfully, Onyebuchi more or less manages not to get in the way.  

That said, it was incredibly disingenuous to lead us to believe Joaquín killed his grandmother only to reveal that he only fed on the horses.  Moreover, White Wolf goes all pet peeve #3 here as he tells his general that he just wanted to take Joaquín off the board but got lucky when the "chemical" turned him into a vampire.  Does he explain what the chemical is or why he used a chemical instead of just killing Joaquín?  No, no, he doesn't.  

But given how awful the previous issues have been I'm glad I didn't hate this one.  That's where I am with this series.

Know Your Station #3:  I'm still not entirely convinced Marin or St. Brigid isn't behind the murders, but Elise and Marin do establish some baseline criteria for the killer that makes sense.

First thing first, they're called to Vesper Norton's suite where they find his body.  Like the Raulssons, the killer has...arranged it.  Whereas the killer strung up the Raulssons artistically, the killer has drained Norton's blood into hundreds of tiny vials and replaced the blood with Blue.  It's...a lot.  

But it also makes Elise and Marin realize that the killer has pretty advanced medical skills.  They feel like it all points to a staff member, but, as staff members, they don't feel like one of their colleagues did it.  Presumably their motive would be vengeance against an asshole billionaire, but, as Elise says, all the staff know the score so it seems weird one of them would go rogue.  But, given the "celebratory" nature of the killings, it also doesn't feel like a Board member offing other Board members for power.  In other words, they have no idea.

The issue has other strange revelations, like the fact St. Brigid deactivates *all* suite cameras when Elise is on Blue, not just hers.  Also, Elise confesses to Marin that she was a dishwasher with no background in security.  For some reason, though, Raulsson liked her energy when she onboarded and gave her the security job.

The issue ends with all the residents getting a message saying that they're next.  Gailey doesn't have Elise tell Marin that St. Brigid keeps telling her that she was the only person to access the rooms of the previous victims, which is ostensibly the reason why she isn't calling the police.  Marin doesn't trust the police to solve the problem anyway, so he isn't asking.  But at this point it's hard to believe that Elise is going to retain control over this situation much longer.

Monday, December 11, 2023

Eleven-Month-Old Comics: The February 1 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

It's been a few months - OK, almost a year - but am I going to give it the old college try and attempt to get through my backlog?  Yes, I am!

Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty #9:  Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what happens here.  I think Captain America and his new Invaders' attempt to free Manhattan from A.I.M.'s control is all part of a simulation that M.O.D.O.C. created to keep them busy for...reasons?  I think?  Complicating matters, someone attacked M.O.D.O.K. during an interlude, but I'm not sure what conclusion we're supposed to draw from the attack.  It maybe turned him into M.O.D.O.C.?  Maybe?  Oof, this issue.

Dark Web Finale #1:  I don't even know what to say here.  This entire event was so utterly ridiculous that it seems equally ridiculous to try to recap it.  It's my job, though, so I'll try.

Madelyne opens Limbo's embassy to the United States in New York to show the people in the dark that they're also in the light.  (We're really pushing the "bad guys are just misunderstood good guys" schtick beyond the point of reasonable disbelief here.)  She also decides to keep Ben in prison in Limbo (something all good guys would totally do).  Of all the possible outcomes for Ben, "locked in prison in Limbo" is the lowest on my preferred list.  I'd almost rather him dead.

Of my many complaints about this "event," the central one is the fact that Wells seems to have created a solution to Ben's problem that no one ever suggested.  I don't see why Jean could've shared Peter's memories with Ben the way she did with Madelyne. Before this event, Wells implied that Peter would lose his memories if he shared them with Ben (though Wells never really fleshed out that premise).  As such, Jean's abilities resolve that problem (if it was indeed a problem).  

But, again, no one even suggests that course of action.  It isn't like someone did suggest it and Peter refused because he wouldn't be special if he shared his memories with Ben.  That would've at least given us an interesting moral quandary, since Peter would definitely be the asshole in that situation.  But, again, we never even get there.

In other words, given that Ben's lack of Peter's (good) memories is allegedly what drives Chasm's darkness, he seems a pretty problem to solve with Jean's help.  (He isn't Maria.)  

To make matters worse, Peter constantly harangues Ben for his anger that he isn't really a person, as if he should just get over it.  Does Peter forget the "Shrieking" arc, where he decided that he'd never be Peter Parker again given the pain he felt losing his parents during "Lifetheft?"  Again, even if Peter isn't the asshole (in the sense that he's unaware he could use Jean's powers to solve the problem), he is here.

I could continue but I won't.  It's all a fucking mess.

Minor Threats #4:  Holy fucking shit, this issue is amazing and intense.

Patton and Blum do a phenomenal job of keeping the gang ridiculous but the story serious all at once.  I really had no idea where the story was going page to page.  

More than anything, though, it's Pigeon's narration that makes this issue, as it really amps up the emotional punch of his eventual heel turn.  

In a flashback, Pigeon breaks into a museum to steal Fabergé eggs only to find a scalped security guard with one of the eggs implanted in his exposed brain.  His horror at the scene reminds me of Riddler's iconic line from "Secret Origins Special" #1:  "Joker is killing people, for God's sake."

Returning to the present, Pigeon explicates Stickman's goals for us.  First, he decided that his relationship with Insomniac had gotten too complicated.  He wanted to go back to basics; by killing Kid Dusk, he discarded the "child-endangerment thing."  Next, Stickman set the trap at the Trophy Room to trim Insomniac's rogues' gallery.  Now, he implants bombs in the team's brainstems and sends them, via his sidekick Sideswipe, to the Dream Cave with enough C-4 to destroy it.  To Stickman's mind, he'll make Insomniac "fun again" by breaking all his toys.  Ho boy.  Not many people are playing with full decks in Twilight City.

But the team's paranoia about the traitor amongst them gets the better of them; as Stickman listens via the microphones he fitted on them, they kill each other.  After Stickman arrives, a toy distracts Sideswipe, and his portal closes while he's halfway through it, killing him.

Of course, it turns out the gang isn't dead.  That said, man, the guys had me going there for a while.  I noticed the various tanks full of fish when the gang arrived in the Dream Cave, and apparently Scalpel did as well.  Once Playtime used her powers to send in nano-sized Army soldiers to remove the bombs from their brains, Scalpel used the puffer fish's tetrodotoxin to simulate their deaths.  

Confronting Stickman, Brain Tease claims that he saw through Stickman's "ruse" about a traitor amongst them, but he's proven wrong yet again when Pigeon holds a gun behind Playtime's head.

Via another flashback, Pigeon explains that he feared not just a future that involved this new level of brutality but also that he had no role in it.  Throwing in his lot with Stickman, Pigeon decided he might escape irrelevance.  (The scene where someone sends him a drink in a lonely diner on Christmas Eve is devastating.)  

As Stickman starts attacking the gang, Pigeon begins to realize his mistake and recalls how he had no one and nothing, but putting on the mask made him somebody.  He aches for the days when "the Code" meant something and the supervillains were all thick as thieves.  To save Frankie, he drives the Dreammobile (or whatever it's called) into Stickman.  Stickman tries to kill Pigeon as he reaches through the broken windshield, but Frankie uses his hammer to kill him.

With Stickman dead, a terrified Frankie tries to find a way to escape the Dream Cave.  But Insomniac arrives, and he's fucking nuts.  He's furious they took away killing Stickman from him and attacks Frankie.  Snake Stomper saves her, telling Insomniac that his punch is for Diego Salas before Insomniac kills him, another devastating moment in this issue.  Insomniac moves to take out Frankie, but she sees Toy Queen's jack-in-the-box gun in one of Insomniac's shattered trophy cases and uses it to decapitate him.  Never has a murder felt more just, I have to say.

In a news report, we watch as the cops lead Brian Tease to prison for the murders, and he seems thrilled.  Toy Queen wakes from a nap to find the blood-splattered gun where it belonged in her trophy case, realizing (also with joy) that Frankie killed Insomniac.

Frankie goes to Pigeon's hospital room and tells him that the Continuum agreed to leave Redport if she agreed to keep Insomniac's murder quiet.  To his horror, she then exiles him from Twilight City.  We later see Frankie with her daughter, so it's clear that the Continuum also cleared Frankie's name.  (Frankie's daughter apparently made a terrifying toy pony at daycare, so that's fun.)

Later that night, Frankie enters the bar where it all began.  Based on the respectful (and fearful) looks she gets, everyone knows that she killed Insomniac and Stickman.  Someone hands her usual ("Chilled it eight minutes like you said."), and she passes a shrine to Snake Stomper to the backroom.  There, Scalpel has a superhero tied to a chair, and he starts to rant about the Continuum.  Frankie holds a gun to his head and tells him to send a message that superheros aren't welcome in Redport.  He asks what the message is, and she says, "You are."

In other words, it's all just fucking amazing.  Unlike the tonal mess that is Wells' "Amazing Spider-Man," Oswalt and Blum really manage to combine drama and humor in a wonderful blend, so you never really know what to expect panel to panel.  I cannot recommend this series enough.

Moon Knight #20:  This issue is solid.  

Someone - "the Ghost in the Telephone" - brainwashed a pair of two-bit goons who 8 Ball identifies as the Harlequin Hit Men and had them kill Marc's five of the 12 members of Marc's former "Shadow Cabinet."  Hilariously, Marc dismisses the Hit Men as D-List villains given that 8 Ball called them "a couple of jokes" and they once fought Speedball.  But Marc isn't likely to take their murder spree lightly.

The back-up story is possibly the best part.  We learn that Marc's predecessor once helped Blade, so he's willing to do Marc a favor and teach Reece how to be a vampire.  I wouldn't have put two and two together there, but I'm thrilled McKay did because it's a great pairing.  Reece showed her worth in the main story as Marc's "woman in the chair," keeping him focused and using Jake to identify the route the Hit Men were taking so he could stop them.  Under Blade's guidance, she'll be a kick-ass vampire.

Star Wars:  Sana Starros #1:  Sana has two dads!  As a gay man raising a kick-ass daughter, I have to say that I love the idea that my little girl could one day maim and murder her way across the galaxy with the flare and grumpiness of Sana Starros.  (We also learn that Sana has an estranged twin brother, Phel.)

The issue begins with Sana realizing that she needs a break after apparently ending her relationship with Aphra.  As such, she comes to her grandmother's house, where her grandmother, Grammy Thea, informs us that she always comes home after a break-up.

Of course, it turns out Sana isn't the only one who makes questionable romantic decisions in the Starros family.  Her cousin, Aryssha, is pregnant with twins whose father is an Imperial officer, Captain Cerasus Ehllo, who storms Sana's grandmother house to find Aryssha.  It turns out Aryssha wanted to give birth at her ancestral home, but Ehllo wants her to give birth on his ship.  He takes her with him and then orders his troopers to kill Aryssha's mother, Mevera, and Grammy Thea.

Of course, Sana saves them...except they pretty much save themselves.  They take her to the armory, underscoring that Sana isn't the only, um, "capable" woman in the family.  It also turns out Ehllo taking Aryssha is part of the family's plan to steal back a family heirloom.  As Sana says, you can see why she doesn't visit often.  So much for her vacation.

Sunday, July 9, 2023

Six-Month-Old Comics: The January 25 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #18:  OMG, this issue is really one of the worst comics I've ever read.  I just don't know what I can say at this point.  

Instead of Madelyne suggesting to Jean that she facilitate Peter sharing his memories with Ben in a way that won't compromise said memories (like Jean did for Madelyne in "Dark Web:  X-Men" #3), Madelyne just cuts Ben loose and sides with the X-Men.  Oof.

Of course, that said, I *think* Peter's objection to sharing his memories with Ben was that it would cause him to loose said memories, but I don't actually know at this point.  

It all just sucks.  Honestly, I can't believe I'm going to say what I'm going to say, but I'm considering not reading this series anymore.

Dragon Age:  The Missing #1:  This series finally puts aside the increasingly confusing Wraith-related stories and brings back Varic as he and Harding search for Solas.  

Following rumors that Solas is hiding in the Deep Roads, Varic and Harding bump into a pair of Grey Wardens investigating disappearances that started after excavations broke into the Roads.

After helping the Wardens take out the Darkspawn behind the abductions, Varic and Harding find Solas' lair and an invitation to "call upon the Lady Crysanthus" in Vyrantium, where they head next.

I don't have much else to say at this point, other than I'm interested to see where we go.

Justice Society of America #2:  This series isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, and given all the time travel I'd normally put myself in that camp.  But something about Helena leaving the infirmary and walking into the spectacular hotness (and chest hair) of the assembled Society is thrilling to me.  Of course, as I said, it involves time travel, so it's hard to follow at the best of times.

Helena awakens in 1940 and tells the Society that she's from a future where someone murders her Society.  Helena exposits that she recognized the someone as "a man I've seen on the edges of my perisperhal visions since I was ten."  Dr. Fate attempts to peer into her timeline to share her experiences with the group but the same "someone" transports his consciousness into his future 1941 where he and his protégée, Salem the Witch Girl, are trying to find Mister Miracle to free her from her curse.  Instead, they find him fighting Solomon Grundy, though Fate's consciousness is snapped back to 1940 again.

In the present, Catwoman fights the "someone" whom she recognizes as "Degaton," who Wikipedia tells me is an old-school Society enemy.  He refers to "Snow Globe" turning Helena into a "blind spot," which makes no particular sense now but likely will later.  He also exposits that he needs to kill all the Society members for "the ritual" to work, so he clearly needs to track down Helena.  

Anyway, he kills Selina, which Helena can somehow see.  But she's again somehow transfered through time again (with Dr. Fate's symbols in her eyes) and awakens in another alley, this time at Khalid's feet though he doesn't recognize her.  He's joined by Deadman and Detective Chimp.

In other words, it's a lot.  But I'm down with seeing where we go from here if we get more shots of Jay Garrick's eyes.

Sins of Sinister #1:  I stopped reading "Immortal X-Men" with issue #6, but this issue recaps the relevant developments that I assume happened in issues #7-#10:  namely, Sinister compromises the Krakoan DNA database so that every resurrected mutant is secretly subservient to him.  He begins with Charles, Emma, Exodus, and Hope.  

Sinister isn't an idiot, though, so he has the Council put him in the Pit while his pawns carry out his plan:  namely, Krakoa offers humans an X-Gene to get them in the resurrection queue.  Of course, it's a Trojan Horse that will enable Sinister to take over the planet.  Clever, that Sinister.

Thanks to an interstitial page, we learn his ultimate plan is to use Earth's population and the Moira Engine to achieve Dominion status before "hyper-A.I.s" take over the planet.

As he takes over the mutants, he has Sinister-Forge launch an attack from space that fries Krakoa's brain, allowing the mutants to claim to the public that all non-mutant backups were lost.  It therefore encourages more humans to get the X-Gene, accelerating Sinister's takeover.  

We then get a series of splash pages that details the next ten years of Sinister taking out his enemies, like corrupting the Avengers through the X-Gene.  Storm is the only person who eludes capture after she guess something was amiss in the Council and worked out a deal with Lactuca to make sure Sinister couldn't control her.

But it all goes to hell when Sinister discovers someone has stolen his lab and his Moiras.  Ruh-roh.

Over all, it's a solid introduction to this event.  Gillen expertly weaves his story through the X-Men recent status quo, making for a story that feels like it was Hickman's intent from the start.  We'll see where we go from here.

Star Wars:  Yoda #3:  My issue with Yoda has always been that he's so wise yet missed the fact that he was sitting next to Darth Sidious for years.  He also oversaw a system that treated young children as little more than soldiers for present and future wars.  This issue underscores that he didn't just treat Force-sensitive children that way.  Equal opportunity assholery!

Although Bree's murder of Riak last issue ensures the Scalvi's safety for years, Yoda's abrupt departure leaves Bree a broken shell of a person.  As an adult, Bree has never gotten over Yoda's abandonment despite the Scalvi treating him as a hero.  Yoda returns just in time for Bree's nephew to kidnap the Crulkon leader's daughter.  Bree listens to the girl as she informs him that Turrak's oceans are devoid of life, and he realizes that the Crulkon are, and always have been, starving.  He opens the Scalvis' gates to the Crulkon, which is obviously the outcome Yoda wanted.

But you have to wonder if it had to happen this way.  Yoda admits that he allowed the Crulkon to kidnap him to test Bree, and Bree of course failed when he killed Riak.  But Yoda simply abandoned him to his failure.  It seems possible that Bree could've become the sort of man to see the Crulkon's suffering without taking a life or spending years wondering why he failed Yoda.

A hero, I'm not sure Yoda is.

Also Read:  X-Terminators #5

Saturday, July 8, 2023

Six-Month-Old Comics: The January 18 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dark Web:  X-Men #3:  This issue is terrible as it nullifies the entire point of this event.  When Jean realizes that Madelyne is after her memories of Nathan, she simply gives them to her, raising the question why Madelyne hadn't just asked her for them earlier.  Now, the only question hanging over this event, to my mind, is whether Jean can do the same thing for Ben.  Even if she does, this event feels like it could've been handled as an annual's back-up story.  What a joke.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #30:  Now we're getting somewhere.

Valance defects from the Empire after Tonga tells him that Cadeliah is with Crimson Dawn and Yura is dead.  Valance realizes that Vader and, to a lesser extent, Haydenn played him this entire time.  He uses the thermonuclear detonators that the supply ship was actually transporting to Bestine - notably not the alleged "food" for the people living outside the Imperial base - to destroy said base.  He explains to T'onga the attack was simply bait for Vader, who arrives at the issue's end.

Sacks doesn't have a lot of time to dwell on the emotions, but he doesn't miss the chance to do so.  He includes a flashback to Bossk, T'onga, and Valance's time on Nakano Lash's crew when Nakano tells them that their successes come from the fact that they're family.  T'onga reminds a devastated Valance of this conversation in an attempt to comfort him.  But Valance works out his feeling through taking out Imps, a reminder of how Tonga's offer of humanity is unlikely to get Valance to see his.

Star Wars:  Han Solo and Chewbacca #9:  This issue gets the whole gang together again.

Han brings the urn to Nar Shaddaa after he, Chewie, and Phaedra discover it doesn't contain ashes but an orb.  Lando's contact, an Ugnaught Sava, informs Han that it's actually the neural core of a droid named Ajax Sigma who led a droid rebellion two centuries ago.  

Of course, one of Khel Tanna's contacts tipped off Tanna that Han was on Nar Shaada and, of course again, Corbus Tyra bugged Tanna's communicator so he passed on this information to Marshall Vancto.  As such, everyone converges on the Sava's office.  The trio escapes only for Chewie to go after Marshall Vancto for shooting him in the back and Han and Phaedra encountering a blastered-up Tyra in the Falcon.  

As Han explains to Phaedra, it's all a pretty good example of his luck.

Friday, July 7, 2023

Six-Month-Old Comics: The January 11 Edition - Part 2 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Mary Jane & Black Cat #2:  Now that this series doesn't have anything to do with Dark Web, it's much better.

Belasco explains to Felicia and Mary Jane that, when Madelyne connected Limbo to Earth, she created "arcane vibrations" that rendered the spell phasing the Screaming Tower outside reality vulnerable.  Belsaco destroyed the spell, and he wants Felicia and Mary Jane to beat out all the other thieves trying to swipe his Soulsword from the Tower so he can rule Limbo.  I'm not entirely sure why he chose this pair but, given the nonsense we've seen in Spidey books lately, I'm good with the ambiguity.

We also get a hint that Mary Jane and Peter were gone longer than the six months everyone on Earth thought they were gone, but I've given up hope we'll ever fully understand that story.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #30:  I've said it a lot, and I'll say it again:  I still don't understand this arc.  

Soule reveals that Rabé infiltrated the Executor at the same time as Dormé.  While Dormé distracted Vader, Rabé hacked into the Executor's systems and discovered Sabé was on Brentaal IV.  When Vader takes Dormé with him en route to Fentalle, for reasons Soule doesn't make clear, the Handmaidens attack.  They threaten to blow up the Executor with a code Eirtaé wrote based on information Dormé and Rabé pulled from its system.  But it's an easy bluff for Vader to call.

Meanwhile, it turns out Sabé only wounded Jul Tambor, since she knew that Vader would've killed all his allies if he insisted on destroying the Imperial garrison on Skako Minor.  Tambor reveals that he's been buying up droids that Vader killed to analyze his movements (using their last memories).  As the Handmaidens struggle with Vader calling their bluff, Tambor contacts Vader to tell him that he has Sabé.  The Handmaidens agree to accompany Vader to retrieve her.

To a certain extent, I get all the Handmaidens' motives.  Sabé is using her influence to save as many people as she can, and the remaining Handmaidens are just trying to save Sabé.  But I still don't understand why Vader is entertaining this nonsense.  Is it really worth his time to toy with them?  Soule has gone to great lengths to show that Anakin is gone, so I don't think we're supposed to believe that he's in love with them.

[Sigh.]  I hope one day this story ends.

Wild C.A.Ts #3:  Rosenberg makes it clear here that these series isn't going to win any awards for narrative complexity, and I'm OK with that.  

Grifter immediately gets into a fight with Pike, one of the Seven Soldiers of Victory who worked with him on Team 6, when Grifter was known as Deadeye.  Marlowe suspends Cole for the fracas, but he's unsuspended when Deathblow, Fairchild, and Zealot need help saving Damon Walsh, the son of Dante Walsh,"the Ambassador."  Apparently some group kidnapped Damon to prevent the United States from getting involved in their country's internal affairs, but Voodoo reveals to the team that Damon's death would end the world.  Voodoo seems to direct the team's missions based on her visions.

At the time the team call him for help, Cole was visiting a rich guy named Jason Halliday because Cole somehow found out Halliday was a member of the Court of Owls.  (Halliday was shirtless when Cole awakened him in bed, but he's wearing a shirt when Cole is hanging him out a window, and I like to think Cole made him put on the shirt just to do that.)  I still don't get why Cole is so obsessed with the Court, but Rosenberg is a good writer so I assume we'll get there.

X-Men #18:  This issue is a mess.  The art is rushed, with everyone looking more like sketches than characters.  Moreover, Laura, Sr. confronts Laura, Jr. as if it's her fault that they're both alive.  Duggan also weirdly ties this issue to the "X-Terminators" series, meaning the Lauras have this conversation while fighting vampires.  Also Beast apparently thinks that Laura's discovery is overly convenient, which Jean dismisses since she and Synch both verified her identity. It's supposedly showing how dark Beast's heart has gotten, but we all know that he's going to turn out being correct.  Also, Jean and Scott save some Orchis workers from an exploding space station?  As I said, it's a mess.

Also Read:  Moon Knight #19