Six-Month-Old Comics: The September 7 Marvel Event Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

A.X.E.:  Death to the Mutants #2:  Meh.  

This issue is all over the place.  The best parts involve Kro, particularly his flirtations with Emma.  If this event results in anything, I would welcome the Deviants suddenly emerging as yet another faction among Earth's squabbling parties, particularly since you could see their allegiance reasonably moving from party to party depending on the situation.  The worst parts involve Gillen getting cute, like Syne the Memotaur discussing poetry with a poet she meets online.  Also does the Progenitor change appearance halfway through the issue?

As I said:  meh.

Immortal X-Men #6:  This issue is almost incoherent.  

In the wake of the X-Men's failed attack on the Progenitor, the Council meets to discuss options.  Emma informs them that Sersei and Starfox are working on their own plans, and Sebastian appoints himself as Krakoa's liaison to them.  

Sebastian meets with Starfox who agrees to send Sebastian ideas on what the mutants can surrender to address the "immortality secret" that started the war.  Um, what?  Other than abandoning immortality entirely, I don't see what outcome could make Druig think the mutants aren't an excessive deviation.  Also, aren't we passed that point, given the Progenitor's ultimatum?  Shouldn't we be more focused on making sure the Progenitor judges Earth as worthy?  Moreover, when has Starfox of all people ever been the person you want developing ideas to stave off the end of the world?  

Shaw uncharacteristically insists that the solution has to "help the children," so I assume some age-based limitation is coming.  But, again, why?  I don't see humankind suddenly supporting the mutants now that they can only die x (heh) number of times.  (If you're wondering when Sebastian suddenly got all altruistic, it's allegedly due to the Progenitor taking the form of Emma judging him.  If you get that part, let me know.)

To make matters, worse, Shaw summons someone named Mother Righteous to make some sort of deal.  I think we're supposed to know who she is, but I'm not sure.

TL;DR:  I can't take this series anymore.

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus - Omega #1:  This issue is as terrible as I feared.  The good news, though, is Ulana the Watcher confirms that Marvel views this 2099 as a "reality rewoven, unified from disparate timelines."  Hopefully it means someone else will pick up the shovel in this amazing sandbox and build something great.  Unfortunately, that didn't happen here.

Six-Month-Old Comics: The August 3 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman #126:  As expected, Zdarsky isn't fucking kidding.

The issue begins with a recovering Robin telling Batman to mind his own business when Bruce expresses concern that Tim is already on patrol.  Bruce returns to the Cave, and Zdarsky picks up the thread from last issue as Bruce muses how the kids don't understand that they ultimately can't keep their costumed identities and find "love and happiness."  (Yes, it's weird to see Bruce say the words "love and happiness.")  Before Bruce goes any farther down that road, Failsafe attacks!

Zdarsky makes it clear that Failsafe is Bruce's un-fucking-stoppable Doomsday.  Within six punches thrown, Bruce realizes that he's dead if he stays in the Cave.  He manages to grapple himself to the Batmobile and order it to speed to safety.  But the bomb Bruce throws at Failsafe as he leaves the Cave does no good as, still on fire, it finds Bruce in the city.  Bruce admits to Oracle that the situation is bad, and Jiménez does a great job of showing actual fear in Bruce's eyes as Failsafe grabs his cape and hurls him to the ground before he can escape up a fire escape.  

Bruce contemplates the end, which only doesn't happen because Batgirl (Cassandra), Signal, and Spoiler arrive.  Failsafe almost immediately takes out Stephanie, and Signal distracts Failsafe while Robin gets Bruce into the Batmobile so he can meet Leslie at the Cave.  A concussed Bruce murmurs to himself that Failsafe sounds familiar, and Tim floors it to flee the pursuing Failsafe.  Nightwing arrives in time to buy Tim time to escape.  Failsafe dismisses the team as "little soldiers" and takes out Batgirl and Spoiler.  He then rips off Duke's helmet and scans it, gaining access to the team's systems.

Leslie is startled to find Failsafe in the new Cave, but Bruce had Tim take him to the old one.  Cryptically recalling that he "went too far" in his early days before the "children" softened him, Bruce activates Zur-en-Arrh!

In the back-up story, two previously unidentified Penguin heirs - Addison and Aiden - have murdered their ten siblings.  Well, they tried to murder all ten:  Selina manages to prevent a disguised Aiden from murdering Ethan, from "Batgirl."  But he's left in a vegetative state.

Selina puts together this sequence of events the next day when Addison and Aiden arrive at the Executor's office for the will reading.  They have notarized copies of documents vouching for their DNA, and Selina recognizes Aiden is wearing the same cufflinks as Ethan's attacker.  Since the will excludes Ethan due to his vegetative state, the Executor announces that Addison and Aiden inherit the Iceberg Lounge and Penguin's other real-estate holdings.  Addison loses her mind, though, when the Executor announces that Penguin's money goes to the Flights of Fancy Bird Sanctuary in Metropolis.  Aiden then hustles her out the door.

Before Addison and Aiden arrived, Selina asked the Executor for the names of the mothers of Penguin's children so she could split her $500,000 fee among them .  After Addison and Aiden depart, she cryptically asks the Executor for one more address.

All in all, I couldn't be happier with Zdarksy's run so far.  As I hoped, the main story brings the sort of propulsive energy and astute characterization that he brought to Spider-Man, and the Catwoman mystery is a great accompaniment.

Immortal X-Men #5:  Oof.  

The best part of this issue is Bandini and Curiel's art, whose brightness and clarity brilliantly matches Exodus' story as a knight in the employ of a series of messiahs (Apocalypse, Magneto, and now Hope).

Unfortunately, the art does more to walk us through Exodus' thousand-year journey than anything Gillen does.

Exodus realizes that he's lost in his memories because the Uni-Mind is attacking and it's using this ploy on all the Council members to distract them from the attack.  I'll admit that it's a solid plan on the Uni-Mind's part.  I'll also admit that Gillen does a great job of scripting Exodus' fever-driven way of speaking and thinking.  Combined, however, the disjoint narrative and crazed script make the issue difficult to follow.  

I also don't know enough about Exodus' past to know whether Gillen is ret-conning his history, filling in gaps in said history, or rehashing events that we've seen elsewhere.  But it certainly feels odd for Gillen to spend so much time on Exodus' history when this issue also gives us the Hex attacking Krakoa for the first time.

Again, I keep reading this series because it's essential to understanding the X-Men's current status quo not because it's interesting in and of itself.

Moon Knight #14:  McKay and Cappuccio do a great job balancing Marc's characterization-driven conversation with Jake and Steve with the ass-kicking punishment he gets from Grand Mal and Nemean.  

For example, Jake and Steve point out Marc is getting his ass handed to him because he's trying too hard to keep them on the bench.  In fact, they note Marc is usually the one who gets them into trouble.  Marc says that he's trying to hide his disorder from Reece because he doesn't want to scare her away.  Jake and Steve point out Reece is actually managing her chronic disease unlike Marc, who is actively ignoring it.  All excellent points, fellas.

In the end Hunter's Moon and Tigra find Marc's broken body, and Marc agrees to let in Jake and Steve.  Of note, I was happy to see McKay mentioning previous series' events during the conversation, a rare creator who doesn't pretend he invented a legacy character from scratch.  Good times (for us, not Marc), they're a-comin'!

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus #5:  This issue is similar to the previous ones:  a long series of expository conversations to update us the status quo of another B-list 2099 hero.  This time, it's the X-Men's turn.

The mutants are homeless after the Cabal used its Sentinels to seize the mutant homeland in the Savage Land for reasons I don't think Orlando specifies other than the Cabal is e-v-i-l.  The action (such as it is) starts when Northstar discovers a mutant at the heart of the Celestial Garden, which Cerebra decides means it's the new mutant homeland.  (Ballsy.)

Upon arriving, the X-Men discover an adamantium mountain that Rogue turns to gas using Voght's powers. Inside is a Doom-manufactured canister holding X-Man's eye.  Before Orlando can explain, the Cabal's Sentinels attack.  Spidey and Nostromo arrive to help just as Osborn arrives with more goons.

This issue is perhaps the most wooden of an already mediocre series, as the X-Men are little more than plot-advancing mouthpieces.  I'm glad we're finally wrapping up this series so someone other than Orlando can hopefully take the 2099 ball and run with it.  It isn't a lot, but it's what I've got.

Spider-Punk #4:  When the villain spares the hero in the penultimate chapter, it's usually the author's naked ploy to amp up the drama.  It is here, too.  Unusually, though, Ziglar gives Green Goblin a solid reason for "sparing" Hobie, Kamala, Karl, and Riri:  he's going to execute them publicly!  During his various super-villain monologues, Norman - whose head survived Hobie decapitating him due to the Venom symbiote - explains to Hobie that his death at Hobie's hands made him a martyr to all the fascists and racists who supported him.  I actually thought at various moments that one or more of the Spider-Band might die, so I'm really not sure how next issue is going to go, y'all!

X-Men Red #5:  Unlike "Immortal X-Men" #5, Ewing shines in this tie-in issue, showing us how Uranos decimated Arakko, as we saw in "A.X.E.:  Judgment Day" #1.

It isn't just Uranos himself attacking the Arakkii, but his "armories," a series of destructive tools that range from a bio-metallic slime infecting the Morrowlands to a self-replicating machine army invading Argyre Planitia.  Ewing provides a timer in each panel, underscoring how devastating Uranos' attack is when Brand, Cable, and Magneto are all dead before Uranos uses up 20 minutes of the hour Druig allowed him.  

The scene where Uranos rips out Magneto's heart is particularly brutal and shocking, which makes the last page's revelation that Magneto somehow survives without his heart all the more confusing.  Other than that, it's a pretty spectacular issue that underscores the threat the mutants face in the Eternals.

Three-Month-Old Comics: The July 13 Edition - The Everything-Else Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Moon Knight #13:  Ooo, this series keeps getting better and better.

Moon Knight has set his sights on Tutor and his vampire pyramid-scheme, which remains one of the best and funniest plots that I've ever read in a comic.  According to Moon Knight, he's put off getting vengeance for what Tutor did to Reese for too long.  It's a solid enough excuse; he's had a lot on his plate since then.  I was actually impressed with McKay returning to it.  It's like how the best Batman and Spider-Man writers get the balance between "monthly idiot villain" and "shadowy scheming adversary" just right.  Even though Joker is planning on blowing up Gotham, it doesn't mean Calendar Man isn't also trying to rob a bank.

But McKay goes one further:  Reese and Tigra discuss how Steve is really doing it as revenge for Soldier.  The way everyone talked about Soldier, I figured that we were going to see him in comatose in a hospital.  Instead, Reese turned him into a vampire!  Brilliant!  That said, Tutor is pissed, because he believes that he's the only person in New York who can convert people.  He hires Taskmaster as a consultant and tries to get him to take out Moon Knight.  Taskmaster, wisely, declines.  As such, Tutor hires Grand Mal and Nemean, who I don't know but look, um, unfriendly.

Meanwhile, Reese wants more information about Steve, which Steve is unwilling to provide at this point.  But he does call a meeting between the various personalities, which promises to make next issue a fun one.

I'm really impressed with McKay moving us into such a great premise for the next arc.  These transitions are usually difficult, but McKay launches us here into a status quo that makes perfect sense in terms of where we've been.  Read this series!

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus #4:  At some point, it became clear that Orlando wasn't putting in too much effort to tell whatever story he initially intended to tell.  For example, Miguel starts this issue by suddenly informing us that he needs to find the Black Widow so that she can lead him to Doom's heir, a technopathic mutant named Nostromo.  Apparently Nostromo turned over Latveria to its people so Miguel figures that he can use his technopathic powers to take out the Cabal's Black Cards without feeling tempted to use said Black Cards.  (Of course, I don't understand why the Cabal couldn't just make new Black Cards, but, again, we're kind of past trying to find narrative logic here.)  

I had to read it twice to (almost) understand, but Nostromo is in hiding because he knows that Doom (and not Osborn) actually killed Jovion the Enactor with Hawkeye's help.  Hawkeye wants Nostromo dead because the Cabal would otherwise want him dead as the only other person who knows that Doom, and not Osborn, killed the Celestial.  (It has something to do with the right of ownership, I think?)  Anyway, after finding Nostromo, Black Widow travels to Hawkeye's orbiting station and kills Hawkeye before he can kill Nostromo.  She's Yelena, somehow, and Hawkeye apparently killed Natasha.  So it's revenge.  Sure.  Great.

Miguel takes Nostromo to the Celestial Garden but Sentinels are attacking so the X-Men on next issue's "heroes of the month."  [Sigh.]  We'll just stop there.

Spider-Punk #3:  This series continues to be the best time in comics.  After the Spider-Van dies in a confrontation with Kingpin's Marauders (a brilliant combination of Armor, Daken, and Sunfire that I wouldn't mind seeing in the real world), Hobie and Kamala put together a side project (hilarious) with Philly's Daredevil to take out Kingpin and free the goods that he hoards so they can fix the van.  (It gave me March 2020 flashbacks, y'all.)  Along the way, we get the same whip-smart banter that we've gotten through out this series.  I love it so, and I would love to see what Ziglar could do beyond the five-issue structure.  But, if I only get these five issues, I'll take it.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #25:  This issue is like an old "Challenge of the Super-Friends" episode, as T'onga and her crew battle the Knights of Ren.  Obviously, that's high praise

Sacks does something here that we often don't see, namely putting the series' main characters in a situation they can't overcome.  When Bossk realizes that they're facing the Knights of Ren and immediately suggests they run, Tasu is dismissive.  By the time the team is lucky enough to escape with their lives, Tasu realizes that the guy with maybe more muscles than he has (i.e., Ren) almost beat him.  I'm hoping Sacks follows up this realization with a deep dive into Tasu's psyche, since it seems like his abilities are almost like Gladiator's, dependent on his self-confidence.  T'onga releasing the injured crew to continue what now seems like a suicide mission to get Cadeliah is poignant, a sign of just how close this crew has become.  It isn't all emotion, though, as Sacks has the characters also get in some pretty great banter.

My only criticism is that Valance continues to feel like an afterthought here.  That said, Sacks ups the stakes as Haydenn learns that the Empire wiped out the Rebel base where Yuralla was stationed.  She declines to tell Valance that, as she's trying to get him to see that he could be happy with the Empire, introducing him to the engineers he saved.  (I don't recall that happening but it sounds like it happened last issue.  I only remember the failure to prevent the officer's assassination last issue.)

The good news is that I feel like Sacks is moving us where we need to be, concluding T'onga's quest for Cadeliah while at the same time preparing Valance for the next stage.  I'm curious where we go when that happens.

Undiscovered Country #19:  This issue is straight to the point.  

While Charlotte and Valentina are stuck in a time loop in Revolutionary War America -- dying in a hail of bullets every time they're discovered -- Ace, Chang, and Janet find themselves at a "V-Day" parade in Times Square.  A besuited President [Alex] Graves is cheering the "great liberators" - Ace, Charlotte, Daniel, Pavel, and Valentina - but the crowd recoils in horror  when they realize the "great villains of our greater nation" are in the crowd - Chang and Janet!

In their era, Charlotte and Valentina wonder how they've gone backwards in history, and it's clear that Ace, Chang, and Janet have gone forward, possibly to an era after the Closing.  It implies some treachery on Chang and Janet's part, treachery that the rest of the team overcame.  But it also raises the question how Alex can be in two times at once, unless he and Daniel arrived here after the events of "Undiscovered Country:  Destiny Man Special" #1.

In other words, it isn't the most exciting issue in and of itself, but it sets up a story that I think could really get to the core of what Snyder and Soule are doing here.

Three-Month-Old Comics: The June 29 Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus #3:  Thanks to Carlos' art, this issue at least feels like an old-school 2099 story.  Orlando is still using the "hero of the month" schtick that's plagued the 2099 line during its last few iterations, but the heroes he uses here at least make sense in terms of the larger story that he's telling.

To whit, Moon Knight contacts Spider-Man telepathically from her Crescent Crypt on the Moon, where she's been healing since the Masters of Evil killed the Avengers a year earlier.  The Masters at the time were the (Iron) Patriot, Black Knight, Enchantress, Melter, Radioactive Man, and Zemo.  (The Avengers themselves are never identified here; the only one I vaguely recognized one was a gray Hulk.)  After killing the Avengers, the Patriot showed his black card to the people recording the fight with their smartphones, making it clear that he and the Masters were now above the law.

Moon Knight is contacting Spider-Man because her alarms awoke her with the Celestial's arrival.  Her alarms sound again when the Masters (minus the Patriot) return to our solar system after traveling in their spaceship to plunder other systems (including the Cancerverse).  Enchantress exposits that Doom "is gone" so figures (correctly) that Osborn is behind pulling down the Celestial.  (We also learn that Zemo killed Black Knight for insubordination.). 

With Spider-Man agreeing to help Moon Knight get vengeance on the Masters (and stop them from helping Osborn secure the Garden), Moon Knight assembles the team:  John Eisenhart (the Hulk), Rowena Stern (Captain Marvel), Zhe Li (Aero), MacKenzie Salgado (Wave), Roberta Mendez (Captain America), and T'Shamba (Black Panther).  As an old-school 2099 fan, Eisenhart and Mendez's inclusion is the most exciting, as it's the clearest sign that we're gotten that we're operating in some version of the original timeline.  At some point, the Masters had control over Roberta and used John as a "doomsday device."  They also destroyed poisoned "Super Malay" (Wave's homeland) and Wakanda and murdered Rowena's fathers and Zhe's students.  In other words, everyone has a reason for vengeance.

As the fight begins, Miguel realizes that Osborn isn't with the Masters, meaning that they're just his soldiers.  Moon Knight reminds Miguel that they don't want the Masters in charge of the Garden either, so they fight in earnest.  The team makes fairly quick work of the Masters, and Black Panther takes them to Planet Wakanda to stand trial, since they're outside Osborn's black-card immunity.  Moon Knight declares to Planet Wakanda (and presumably Earth) that the Avengers have returned.  As she does so, four additional Avengers are standing with the team:  a Captain Britain, Kid Gladiator (if I'm not mistaken) a She-Hulk, and I think a Black Widow.  In the epilogue, Miguel tells Moon Knight that he's heading for Latveria for help taking down Osborn, though he doesn't explain why.

At any rate, it all is what it is.  It isn't terrible, and I can accept the "hero of the month" approach as long as it's ground in the story like it was in this issue (unlike last issue).  Black Widow and Hawkeye are up next, so we'll see if that peace holds.

Star Wars:  Obi-Wan Kenobi #2:  I don't usually have high hopes for these anthology series, but this issue is great.  One challenge I've found that trips up authors of these sorts of issues is that they imagine too complicated a plot or setting for one issue.  Cantwell successfully avoids that trap and keeps the narrative tightly enough focused that the story really sings. 

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan travel to a moon that has inexplicably descended into darkness.  When they arrive at the mine that sent the S.O.S., they discover bloodshed.  Qui-Gon discovers a thief who admits that he and his crew used a "non-incendiary photonic charge" to take out the outpost's power core.  Obi-Wan realizes that the charge likely resulted in the core's accelerite producing a radiation capable of supressing the light spectrum.

The issue's tension comes from the fact that one of the miners is from a light-sensitive, werewolf-like race.  The darkness has driven him insane, and it's only when Obi-Wan is able to reactivate the core with the help of the mining supervisor that the remaining miners and thieves are saved.  Obi-Wan is temporarily blinded (due to the supervisor having to raise the heat levels high enough to fuse the accelerite back together), which plays nicely to the issue's theme, of Obi-Wan getting lost in the facts in front of him and not feeling the larger context.

In sum, it's a great issue.  If you aren't reading the full series, it's definitely worth checking out this issue.

X-Men Red #4:  This issue is incredibly interesting, as it centers entirely around the question of death and what it means now that mutants are functionally immortal.

The issue arrises in three separate places:  Arrako, Earth, and the Proscenium.

• On Arakko, Ora Serrata, who sits in the Seat of Law, notes that Magneto and Storm are, on some level, cheating in holding seats on the Great Ring.  After all, the seats are won through combat in the Circle.  Ora Serrata caveats her statement by noting that the Great Ring has never allowed back a member who was defeated in the Circle but was somehow later resurrected.  As a result, she isn't saying that Magneto and Storm are cheating because if they died they'll get back their seats.  She's more asking whether Magneto and Storm really faced the same stakes as the rest of them since they knew that they couldn't die.  After some squabbling (particularly with Isca the Unbeaten), Magneto announces that he and Storm have destroyed their backups.  As Storm says, "to everything a season."

• At the Proscenium, Oracle has gathered galactic representatives to announce that Xandra is dead.  Fearing an astro-nuclear war as various Shi'ar factions jockey for control, Oracle is implementing a protocol that Deathbird put in place of shoring up support of the Empire's most important allies.

T'Challa gets around the issue by asking if Krakoa can resurrect Xandra, since she's a mutant.  Orbis Stellaris of the Galactic Rim Collective objects for two reasons:  first, the unfairness of an empress getting resurrected when her subjects do not have a similar option and, second, the possibility of an eternal Xandra becoming a helluva dictator.  Nova recalls resurrecting Xandar with the Nova Force and notes that Xandar was destroyed again during the Annihilation Wave. He stresses that no one is immortal; even if the mutants can resurrect people, it doesn't mean that they don't die.  He supports resurrecting Xandra since he doesn't regret giving the Xandarians a few more days' peace. 

Ororo then announces that Krakoa has already resurrected Xandra, since her father (Charles) heard her psychic broadcast just as Oracle did.  Ororo then basically tells Orbis Stellaris to go fuck itself since mutants won't bow to anyone.  Richard follows her and ask if he can spend some time on Arrako, since his "Nova-sense" has him worried that its Diplomatic Zone is the focal point of a coming "big" event.  Ororo agrees and welcomes him.  Again, I love seeing people like Ororo giving Rich the respect that he deserves.

• On Earth, Roberto is resurrected, since Isca the Unbeaten apparently killed him last issue.  Rockslide is there because he likes to observe the resurrections, though we learn that it really isn't "our" Rockslide:  "our" Santo died in Otherworld as seen in "X of Swords."  This Santo is somehow an amalgam of all possible Santos.  I had to Google to find out it happened in "X-Factor;" an editor's note would've been nice here.  At any rate, the kids called Rockslide "Wrongslide," which he doesn't mind because it at least addresses that he isn't "our" Santo.  He knows that his presence hurts people, which hurts him because he loves it so much on Krakoa.  Roberto echoes what Nova said, that everyone dies.  He then invites Rockslide to Arrako.

Again, I loved the big questions that Ewing is asking here, particularly because it's clearly setting up the next few months of stories given Scott's revelation of mutant immortality.  This series continues to feel like what "Immortal X-Men" is supposed to be.

Three-Month-Old Comics: The June 15 Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus #2:  Oof.  This issue isn't terrible, exactly, but it isn't all that interesting either.  It's basically a long flashback where a new Valkyrie describes the fall and rebirth of Asgard.

After its initial Aesir program (i.e, "Fall of the Hammer," I think) failed, Alchemax used mysterium to create a Midgard Serpent that destroyed the real Asgard for reasons that aren't 100% clear to me.  (Valkyrie was part of the assault with other Aesir-program members, though I'm also not clear why Alchemax needed them if it had the Midgard Serpent.)  Seeing the writing on the wall, Loki fled (because of course he did).  Valkyrie meets him after he arrives at the Celestial Gardens to collect enough raw Celestial DNA to recreate Asgard.  

Unfortunately, the Midgard Serpent's mysterium remains ambient in Asgard's ruins, preventing Loki (again, for unclear reasons) from resurrecting Asgard.  Instead, he sacrifices himself to purge Asgard of said mysterium.  By mixing his blood with the Celestial DNA, Valkyrie is able to turn herself into a god and create more gods from Earth's undesirables, per Loki's wishes.

What does it have to do with the story at hand?  I have no idea.  It makes even less sense when you consider that Valkyrie is telling Miguel this story as she refuses to help him take down the Cabal.  According to her, the New Asgardians have suffered at rich people's hands enough.  Assuming I buy this idea that Loki really cared about the undesirables in the first place, wouldn't they want to take on the Cabal now that they have the power to do so?  I guess not.  Valkyrie simply tells Miguel that the best way to destroy gods is to make them mortal, which isn't exactly novel assistance.

At least next issue it looks like we're getting the story about the Cabal killing the Avengers, so I guess that's something?

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #24:  This issue is solid, though you can tell that Sacks is struggling to find a way to keep Valance in this series.  The panels dedicated to his failure to save an Imperial general from a Crimson Dawn assassination feels like an unnecessary distraction from the main story.  

Speaking of said story, Dengar predictably betrays T'onga and her crew.  First, he convinces T'onga to allow him to interrogate Vukorah; he cuts the video feed and hands Vukorah a knife.  (You would've thought T'onga would've questioned why he needed to cut the video feed, but you would've gussed wrong.)  At any rate, Vukorah is gunning for Losha, who's furious that T'onga left her on the ship while she and the guys invade the Vermillion.  That said, they're not in a great place as they come face-to-face with the Knights of Ren.  

Meanwhile, Dengar thinks he can successfully play both sides against each other so that he can make enough money to extricate himself permanently from the bounty-hunting game, though I don't have high hopes that he's going to outsmart Qi'ra. 

X-Men Red #3:  I feel like I missed an issue here.  

First, I don't recall Thunderbird's altercation with Cable at the Red Lagoon, a score that Thunderbird intends to settle when he arrives at Arbor Magna immediately after the Five resurrect Cable.  It turns out it's all a ruse so they can get some alone time to discuss Brand with Manifold.  Even if I did remember the original altercation, I don't get why they couldn't just have met somewhere to talk.  Why the elaborate ruse?  Is Krakoa a surveillance state where they have to convince Council members that it isn't worth spying on them?

Second, I didn't realize that Tarn was some sort of enemy of the Arakkii?  I searched my blog and only found one reference to him.  Given that I'm supposed to understand that all the Arakki hate Tarn, it probably would've been helpful for Ewing to remind me why a little more.  "X of Swords" was a while ago, and we're still juggling a lot of new characters here.

At any rate, the Cable and Thunderbird discussion is obviously coming to relevance at another time as this issue is dedicated to Vulcan challenging Tarn for the Seat of Loss.  Ororo is suspicious that Brand set up Vulcan:  the Seat of Loss is apparently the Great Ring's least influential seat, and Ororo figures that Vulcan on his own would go a more important one (like hers).  It's interesting that the Great Ring's seats have different values, even though they all have the same voting power.  Meanwhile, working for Brand, Mentallo discovers Vulcan's mental barriers, which he figures are fading if he can see them though Xavier initially didn't.

It all leads to Tarn making quick work of Vulcan after they both use their powers to shut off each other's mutant powers.  Magneto eventually steps into the ring after initially declining Ororo's invitation to do so.  He uses his helmet to block Tarn's powers (which are apparently psycho-kinetic in nature) and then crushes his skull with the helmet.  

This outcome is essentially a foregone conclusion after Roberto bets Isca the Unbeaten that Tarn wins.  Since her side of the bet would be Magneto winning, Ewing implies that Isca's power ensures Magneto's victory, as Roberto knew all along.  I'm glad that Ewing isn't putting Roberto in a kiddie role, as his deception here proves how remarkably clever he is.  That said, it took me several readings to understand the stakes.  I also don't know if I buy them.  Isca never accepted the bet, so I don't get how her powers were activated.  Couldn't everyone just make a one-sided challenge to her?  Roberto says that he's found a way to make her lose without losing, which I guess means that she supported (and lost) Tarn.  After all, she mentiones that she fought alongside him for 1,000 years.  But Ewing doesn't make it clear if she did so because she supported him or if she had to do so?

At any rate, the Seat of Loss is relevant to Magneto, as he previously said that he refused to fight over his ongoing devastation that his daughter Anya wasn't a mutant and thus the Five can't resurrect her.  I wonder where we're going with that idea.

Three-Month-Old Comics: The May 25 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #2:  Jesus fucking Christ.  I thought I was going to spend this review complaining about how Mary Jane is now a step-mother or something else related to last issue's revamping of Peter's status quo.   But Wells makes it clear that these concerns really pale (heh) in comparison to the fact that Tombstone might really just kill Spider-Man after he tricks Peter into a trap.  Underlining that Tombstone is playing for keeps, Wells has Tombstone send away Janice because he's going to become the man that he's never wanted her to see.  It's...a lot.  As disappointed as I am about the Mary Jane situation, I am more and more excited that Wells is going to meet my (high) hopes for him taking over the title.

Moon Knight #11:  Zodiac goes full Joker here, revealing his goal is to take away everything from Marc so that he can become "self-actualized."  To Zodiac's mind, that means Marc killing everyone all the time.   His plan was to lure Marc to where Jigsaw was holding Dr. Sterman.  While Jigsaw killed Dr. Sterman in front of Marc, Zodiac would kill Reese at the Mission.  

Thankfully, Jigsaw is an idiot, so Marc, Tigra, and Winner manage to save Dr. Sterman.  That said, Zodiac isn't an idiot, so he's definitely got time to kill Reese and at least a few neighbors before Marc and/or the police arrive.  In order to get there in time to prevent that outcome, Marc asks for Khonshu's help.  

I haven't gotten over the PTSD I feel from reading "Avengers:  Age of Khonshu;" I still don't understand why Marc sold Khonshu down the river when Khonshu was right about Mephisto.  But Khonshu doesn't seem angry enough about it to let Marc shirk his responsibilities as Moon Knight and opens a path for him and Tigra to get to the Mission as quickly as possible.  Because it's "Moon Knight," Khonshu makes it clear that it's going to get bloody.  

Meanwhile, Soldier dresses as Mr. Knight and goes with Reese to confront Zodiac to buy Moon Knight some time.  (I'm worried about Soldier's handsome face.)  Given his and Reese's dedication, Zodiac makes an excellent point about how Khonshu isn't the only one with Fists.  Let's see how they fly!

Newburn #7:  The series takes a turn as we learn that Emily was a former cadet who left the academy after she and another cadet were somehow involved in a murder.  Unfortunately, it turns out the murdered person was the nephew of the Albano family's boss.  When the other cadet - now a police officer - gets in too deep to pay off his gambling debt, he sells this information to the guy running the den who in turns sells it to the Albanos.  

Emily bumps into her former classmate as she's helping Newburn investigate the murder of the Yakuza boss.  Her classmate arrests her to prevent her from leaving HQ since he knows that the Albanos are going to kill her.

I don't entirely get how he knew the Albanos chose that moment - while she was in a police station - to kill her, but I'm hoping Zdarsky explains that later.  It borders on pet peeve #3 by having one of the hitmen complain about taking out someone at a police station, which, you know, doesn't seem the best idea.

Past the Last Mountain #3:  If this series' main story has so far been about the sacrifices necessary to maintain hope and innocence in the post-war era, the War Stories have been about the war's brutality - emotionally, physically, and socially.  These themes converge in this issue, as Simon is driven to murder.

In fact, the main story's theme this issue is on the "peace's" brutality.  Neil brings three Goblins with him as he searches for the companions.  On the way to where they think the companions are, the lead Goblin taunts Neil about how scared humans are of Goblins.  In this exchange, we learn that humans not only keep Goblins in cages in a pit but refuse to give them names:  they get a number.  It's chilling to see how dehumanized, if you will, the humans have made the Goblins.  But we also realize, by comparison, that they're not treating the other creatures much better:  the humans, not their parents, give them their names.  Neil asks the Goblin what his name is, and the Goblin refuses to answer.

The teams lands and the Goblins find the companions.  Willa lays down fire to scatter the humans and attacks one, which results in another human dropping the pole he was using to restrain the lead Goblin.  In turn, he tells the other Goblins to fight their bloodlust and run, a sign of how his bravado in the helicopter was a sign of who he used to be, not who he is now.  When Neil angrily shouts "47" at him (revealing his number), 47 turns and attacks.  Trevor throws himself in front of Neil, and 47 devours him. 

It's here where innocence, if not hope, dies.  Simon is holding the sword that Kate dropped in a fight with a human and uses it to kill 47 in revenge for "Trevor Trollfriend's" murder.  In a devastating flashback, we see that 47 didn't tell Neil the name that his parents gave him because he no longer remembered it.  As we contemplate the end of 47's shattered life, Neil is shaken when he realizes that Simon is his son's age.  He tells Simon that he should've protected him and lets the companions go.  He then kills the remaining Goblins so they can't follow them and tells the team that they're retreating.  

Meanwhile, Kate succumbs to the tranquilizer dart that a human successfully fired at her and tells Willa to leave with Simon.  Willa wants to kill the rest of the humans to keep Kate safe, but Simon grabs her and drags her through the forest, telling Willa that they'll keep going like Kate would've done for them.  We then learn that Dragon Lake is real:  it's the crossing into Alberta, Canada.  That said, it's unclear how well the armed guards at the heavily fortified crossing will treat the companions.

Fittingly, the War Stories are particularly brutal this month, as war has left a Fairy seeing her harp only its possible use as a weapon and two Troll children watch the humans murder their general father.  If the peace is brutal, the war is worse.

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus #1:  Although I enjoyed this issue, I'm concerned that Orlando is going to go the "Marvel 2099" route, where this mini-series devolves into just presenting the 2099 versions of current B- and C-list characters.

It begins right where "Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus - Alpha" #1 ended, with Miguel successfully ferrying Zero's people to Transverse City.  Mission accomplished, Miguel is concerned that Osborn's bounty will have "mothers gutting sons" to secure the Celestial Garden for him.  Zero shows his gratitude for Miguel's assistance by bringing in Winter Solider 13 to help.  He informs Miguel that she has a "standing offer" on the murmurnet to trade intelligence for wetworks.

As she approaches a fortress in Zimnii Metch (Siberia, Free Russian Alliance), 13 exposits that her story really began when the new chief of the Winter Solider program decided they were too dangerous.  As such, he set up the Soldiers to sabotage Alchemax's "relaunched Aesir program" only for one of the "deified death troops" (i.e., Thor) to destroy everyone but 13.  (If I remember "Fall of the Hammer" from the original 2099 timeline correctly, we never really got a good sense of what Alchemax wanted to do with the original Aesir program.)  We learn that the intelligence that 13 wanted via her murmurnet offer was on her betrayers.  Zero gives her the information she needed most:  it's where the final one was hiding, which is why we're in Zimnii Metch.

13 enters the fortress to find Chief Woland, presumably the aforementioned chief.  We learn that he's a Cabal pledge and wants to win Osborn's bounty.  In exchange for a cracked mysterium datadrive that tells her who she is, Woland suggests she come with him to the Celestial Gardens to heal the drive and win the bounty.  Instead, she kills him, risking the Boneyard - the Cabal's security team - coming after her.  Using Woland's black card, 13 boards a teletrain to Nueva York.  

Once the jump gate opens, 13 exits into the Wastes, knowing Crossbones is on her tail.  Their fight is brutal, as Crossbones rips off her metal arm and taunts her about killing Bucky and taking his arm as a prize.  (I guess Crossbones was part of the crew that publicly killed the Avengers.)  Using a knife that she swiped from a kind older woman who fed her on the train, 13 cuts off Crossbones' arm and plunges the knife through his skull.

Using the Garden to affix Barnes' arm and heal the drive, 13 is stunned to learn that her family is real.  In a rare win for the 2099 reality, she finds them.  In exchange, she uses her "winter song" (i.e., her emp power) to take out Madame Web's airborne servers and, with them, the murmurnet.  By silencing "the entire dark metaverse," she effectively shut down the bounty.  Miguel expresses concern that they'll come after her, but she probably correctly surmises that Osborn is going to have to go after the Garden himself since he can't rely on the bounty for people to do it for him.

Again, I enjoyed this issue and 13's story.  That said, I'm worried that next issue's focus on Loki means this "event" is just yet another short-story collection Marvel plans on forgetting once it reboots the 2099 line yet again.  I hope I'm wrong.

 

Also Read:  Devil's Reign:  Omega #1

One-Month-Old Comics: The May 4 (2022) Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Marauders #2:  I have to say, I am here for the Marauders-Shi'ar war that we're clearly getting.

Despite occasionally confusing moments, Orlando does a solid job throwing a lot of information at us here without relying on too much exposition.  I mean, the conversation between Delphos and Betel, a fellow Noble of the Kin Crimson, pushes this boundary, as they list the Ten Shames in an IM exchange as if they're discussing them with at uninitiated person and not a fellow Noble.  But, it does what it needs to do.  We learn that only one person can speak about the Tenth Shame and Xandra only knows about the First Shame.  

Orlando does a great job with Xandra, as she both acknowledges to Gladiator that they have to keep the First Shame secret since it's so heinous but is also furious at him (and all Shi'ar) for essentially making her subordinate to the Kin Crimson.  Xandra's horror at just the First Shame makes it clear that the Shi'ar's treatment of the first mutants (I'm guessing involved making them lab rats) was far beyond the pale.  As such, it's hard to empathize with the Nobles' outrage at the mutants' "affront" in trying to discover what happened to the first mutants.  Orlando is setting up a story that involves some comeuppance for the Shi'ar, though I'm not quite sure how it's going to happen.

My only complaint here is that Orlando uses several deus ex machina in the Marauders' battle with Erik the Red.  For example, Somnus can essentially stop time given that his dreamscape exists at a slower pace and Bishop (I think) somehow creates energy helmets for everyone after the ship explodes.

In other words, I like where we're going, but I'm hoping Orlando tightens up some parts.

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus - Alpha #1:  I'm fucking thrilled to say that this issue is spectacular.  This issue is Orlando's best work in comics.

Honestly, I'm so excited, I don't even know how to begin.  As anyone reading this blog for a while knows, I don't say the following part lightly, but I think Orlando wisely puts aside Miguel's continuity for the moment and keeps the focus on Miguel and Lyla here.  Miguel's (and 2099's) continuity is so confusing at this point that it does no good trying to explain it in a debut issue.  Orlando sticks to the basics, and it's a reminder how good the basics are.

We kick off this new chapter in Miguel's adventures with a man named Bruto Olafsen cutting off a man's arm.  When Public Eye officers try to arrest him, he shows them a black card with white concentric circles, and the officers realize that he's a Cabal pledge.  Bruto tells them that he's just trying to make his numbers when Miguel snatches him.  Bruto is shocked Spidey would take on the Cabal, but Miguel notes that he's just a pledge; Miguel tells Bruno the Cabal was testing him and, if he had passed the test, it would be there to help him.  Realizing Spidey speaks the truth, Bruto says that he's Nueva York's sixth richest man and can pay him.  (This part makes it clear we're not dealing with an organization recruiting from the lower classes.)  Miguel wants the Cabal's leader's name, but Bruto doesn't know it.  Instead, Bruto can only send him to the comms station where Bruto was supposed to transmit his zipgun's thrill counter.  (I love the "thrill counter" idea.)

As Miguel heads to the comms tower, Lyla and Miguel's conversation provides some background on where we are in 2099.  Lyla informs us that the Cabal is the world's only "real" superpower, and I love Orlando deciding to put the days of Alchemax serving as 2099's sole villain behind us.  We learn that the Cabal operates from "Heaven," which I'm guessing is a satellite, and brutally and publicly murdered the Avengers, which has left the world in a state of shock.

Arriving at the comms station, Miguel uses the key that he swiped off Bruto to hack into the system.  He discovers the Cabal has routed a "stellar mass" on a collision course with the Ontario Expanse.  He also learns that the station was going to explode with Bruto inside.  Miguel realizes that Bruto's initiation was a "cruel joke," and I'm intrigued why the Cabal singled out Bruto for such punishment.  Miguel also discovers that the Cabal is scanning the entire planet for some reason but notices some dead zones.  Lyla tells Miguel that the drive has more encrypted files, so Miguel grabs it before the station implodes.

Miguel then heads to one of the dead zones while Lyla scans the news.  The C.E.O. of Green Globe Partners, an activist fund, blames Alchemax for "R&D gone wrong, citing the crash's immediate mutagenic effects on the terrain."  At the dead zone, Miguel discover the Ghost Spire, a tower that Ghost Rider controls and where he protects a city of unhomed, unwanted people.  Zero informs Miguel the crater is birthing new elements and new conspiracies, worrying that the coming fear riots will hurt his people.  Zero agrees to crack the "mysterium datadrive" (a great Easter egg for X-Men fans) but demands Miguel leaves after he does so before the Cabal can track him to the Spire and hurt Zero's people.

In a truly genius moment, the drive is "quest encrypted," which means, to decrypt it, Miguel and Zero have to defeat a digital troll.  I mean, this part is just brilliant.  It wasn't necessary - Zero could've just decrypted it.  But, Orlando adding in this detail shows how carefully he's thinking about each part of this issue's plot.  After defeating the troll, Miguel learns that the "stellar mass" is a dying Celestial, Jovion the Enactor.  The Cabal used the bullet inside him (which they probably shot at him) to pull him to Earth, creating the "weird Eden" they clearly plan on harvesting.  

Before Miguel can learn more, Zero pulls him from the drive as the Cabal has sent a killcraft with shocktroops to the Spire.  As the Spire disintegrates, Zero takes out the killcraft and Miguel engages the shocktroops.  One of the shocktroops tells Miguel that he's a Manfredi (so, again, not a plebe), and Miguel demands to know who the Cabal's leader is.  Before Miguel and the residents can take out the troops, the Manfredi tells Miguel that the leader will reveal himself soon and then uses a "cellular cyanide" tooth to dissolve himself (as do the other shocktroops).

One of the residents demands Miguel helps them now that they've lost the Spire, and he agrees to ferry them to the Transverse City Spire.  Lyla informs Miguel that the Cabal has offered membership to anyone who can stake claim to the Celestial Garden, and Miguel understands that pretty much anyone alive now stands between him and the Garden.  More shockingly, Lyla tells him that the Cabal's leader has, in fact, revealed himself:  it's a very Norman Osborn-looking Green Goblin.

Again, I couldn't be happier with this issue.  I would love for Orlando to keep ignoring most of Miguel's past to create a new 2099 status quo that we could embrace.  I cannot wait for next issue.

Star Wars #23:  Although everything doesn't go exactly as she planned, Zahra reminds us why she's the Empire's best officer in this issue.  In fact, she only fails to take out the entire Rebel fleet -- three full divisions -- and a ground division because two Pathfinders sacrifice themselves to take out the Tarkin's Will's primary reactor.  When Kes and Shara arrive at Home One (the Rebel Fleet's command frigate), Leia mentions celebrating their win, but I think that's just Leia blowing smoke up everyone's ass.  Sure, Zahra lost Tarkin's Will, but the Rebels lost at least three ships by my count as well as most, if not all, of the ground division.  Given the Rebellion's already reduced capacities, they'll miss the ships a lot more than the Empire will miss Tarkin's Will.

Star Wars:  Obi-Wan Kenobi #1:  This series appears to consist of vignettes from Obi-Wan's life, timed to the debut of the Disney+ series.  This issue is fine, if a little lackluster.  

Obi-Wan recalls losing his time as a Padawan, when he lost his friend and protector, Gehren Rand.  After receiving a Force vision of her father in terrible pain, Gehren wants to leave Coruscant to go help him.  Yoda tries to explain to Gehren that the Force may (or may not) be showing her the future, but she decides that she has to leave.  As Gehren is the only person ever to care about Obi-Wan, he follows her.  

To me, I would've preferred to learn more about Obi-Wan as (seemingly) an orphan, since the other "Star Wars" titles have frequently mention how the Empire largely recruits orphans.  The parallel between the Empire and the Jedi would be interesting.

When a gangster Gehren paid to transport her off-world double-crosses her, Gehren and Obi-Wan using their fledgling powers to escape.  Obi-Wan decides against leaving Coruscant with Gehren, and, as he tells us in the present, he never saw her again.  This mini-adventure makes Obi-Wan realizes the dangers of acting from fear (as Gehren was), and, later that night, Yoda tells him that it's time for him to protect himself.

I can't say that the Young Obi-Wan Chronicles interest me all that much.  (Next issue focuses on an adventure with Qui-Gon.)  But, after watching the first episode of the Disney+ series, I'm thrilled to see that Eopie survives so I'll take it!

 
Also Read:  Ben Reilly:  Spider-Man #4; Giant-Size X-Men:  Thunderbird #1; Quests Aside #1

Over Two-Year-Old Comics: The Superhero October 23 and December 11 & 18 (2019) Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Now that we're current on the top-shelf series, it's time to enter superhero-comic land!

Amazing Spider-Man:  Full Circle #1 (October 23):  I don't have a lot to say about this issue because it's impossible to make sense of it.  It features seven of Marvel's top writers engaging in a round-robin approach to storytelling, and it's just a fucking mess.  Is it a fun fucking mess?  At times, yes, it is.  The problem for me, though, is that I started wondering what type of amazing (heh) story these authors could put together under less ridiculous circumstances.  I guess we'll never know.  If you like your comics Dadist and expensive, this comic is for you.  (The Bacahlo art was nice.)

Captain America #17 (December 11):  OK, so, Scourge is killing the "cops" that the Kingpin put on the force, and the Power Elite and the Watchdogs are killing the cops trying to get rid of these "cops."  In theory, it aligns the Kingpin with the Watchdogs, but he's dead, so are they now just working for Lukin and the Power Elite?  At any rate, Cap and the Daughters identify the only non-rookie cop on the anti-terrorism squad who left shortly after he started working with them.  Does he just happen to be an expert marksman?  Yes, yes, he does.

New Mutants #3 (December 11):  With Armor and Glob visiting Angel and Beak, Brisson runs into two of the inevitable challenges that the new status quo raises.  First, Angel and Beak haven't joined the other mutants on Krakoa because Beak's father is suffering from a rare disease.  Since humans can't live on Krakoa (challenge #1), they remained on his parents' farm in Nebraska.  But, Armor using Krakoa's resources to cure Beak's father leads to a group of thugs appearing on the farm to "negotiate" for the medicines (challenge #2).  It isn't clear yet how these thugs knew that it was the right time to invade the farm, with Armor and Blob there.  Brisson seems to imply that it's just coincidence, but I hope he doesn't go that route.  After all, the thugs came with power-dampening weapons, so they're not taking an unsophisticated approach to achieving their goal.

Amazing Spider-Man #36 (December 18):  I'm happy to report Pete doesn't screw up Clairvoyant!  Hurrah!

Peter successfully uses Clairvoyant to realize that the best approach to defusing the Doom situation is telling him the truth:  someone is trying to goad him into inciting a  war while the world watches.  (Sound familiar?)  Doom realizes that Spidey is right, but his Doombots destroy billions of dollars worth of cultural institutions and infrastructure as they depart New York.

In the epilogue, a gloating Countess Karkov tells a bedridden Silver Sable that the point of the assassination attempt wasn't just goading Doom into attacking New York:  Hitman used a smart bullet that allowed Karkov to infiltrate Doom's system.  She ordered the Doombots to attack New York as Doom left, and Doom had to accept the outcome since he couldn't publicly admit that someone hacked him.  Doom is now a pariah, and Karkov is lining up offers from Western powers to hold the line against Latveria.  (Again, sound familiar?)  As she mentions to Silver Sable, she's given Symkarians an enemy to unite them and they rally behind her.  Karkov criticizes Silver Sable for caring so little about Symkarian poverty while galavanting around the world as a mercenary, and it's hard to argue with her, to be honest.  Am I Team Karkov?  Maybe?

The only terrible part of this issue is that it doesn't resolve any of the loose ends from the Marvel 2099 event.  Miguel appears on a tropical island where Tempest and his baby are, though we get no information how that happens.  If I'm going to guess, both the original 2099 timeline and the new 2099 timeline (that Karkov would've created if Peter hadn't convince Doom not to destroy New York) no longer exist.  Miguel is a man outside time but happy with that fate because he finds his wife and kid.  I think?  It's a mess, but it's been so long since I read these comics that I'm just going with it.

New Mutants #4 (December 18):  Oof, this issue is fucking intense.  

It turns out the gang's ringleader is from a country called Costa Perdita.  A few years ago, the chemicals that "white men and their industry" dumped into the Perdita river created a disease that killed thousands.  Martin Shk...a pharma bro extorted the government for the cure when the infected population rose from 8,000 to 65,000.  By the time the government agreed to pay $100 million, 20,000 people had died.  This dude isn't looking for revenge; he's looking to profit, so he wants to negotiate with Krakoa directly rather than his government getting the drugs for free.  Brisson answers my question from last issue about how the gang knew about Angel and Beak, because websites - both supporting and hating mutants - keep track of mutants.  

In the end, Angel convinces one of the guards to free her so she can use her powers to digest her food.  She then uses her acid-spit power to free Manon, who turns the guards on each other.  Also, a drunk Boomer arrives, so next issue is going to be a doozy.  

Beyond the action, as a dad, Angel's panic over her children hit me hard.  I found myself almost paralyzed thinking about finding myself in this situation.  As I said, it's intense.

Also Read:  Marauders #4 (December 18)

Over-a-Year-Old Comics: The December 18 (2019) Event Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Annihilation - Scourge:  Omega #1:  This issue is fine if not formulaic.  Nova "sacrifices" himself to the Cancerverse because it now turns out the Cancerverse wasn't really interested in the Sentry but in Nova because he somehow survived it.  But, based on solicitations for "Guardians of the Galaxy," we know that Nova doesn't die so it's no surprise when Annihilus somehow heals him...despite his Cancerverse-containing body having 'sploded when the Senry eye-beamed it.  I mean, that sentence right there tells you everything you need to know about the state of superhero comics.

Marvel 2099:  Omega #1:  This issue is a mess, from the shifting art styles to the hurried narrative leaps.

Essentially, old Miguel reveals that he's some form of "our" Miguel (whatever that means anymore).  He beseeches the new Miguel to become Spider-Man to break Doom's hold on Earth.  It's still unclear to me how Doom managed to go all "Age of X-Man" here, so I guess that I have to hold out hope Spencer makes that clear in "Amazing Spider-Man" #36.  If we accept that we'll get an answer to this core question, then it's a little easier to move with the story.  

Gabe uses Miguel's biometric account to upload Miguel's experience in the Ravage to an offline database.  (I'm still not entirely sure what revealing Miguel's experience in the Ravage to the public is supposed to do.  The public has to realize the corporations aren't exactly working in their best interest.  I just assume that they know that they can't do much about it.  Moreover, as far as I can tell, the only controversial part of Miguel's trip to the Ravage was the realization that Alchemax wasn't making mutants, prolonged exposure to the Ravage was.  Is that really enough to usher in the revolution that Gabe seems to want?  It actually seems to let Alchemax off the hook...)  This unauthorized access prompts Tyler to send drones to destroy Miguel's apartment, not knowing that he's really killing Gabe.  

Although new Miguel had resisted old Miguel's efforts to get him to become Spider-Man, he accepts it in the wake of Gabe's murder, altering his DNA as he learned to do in the Ravage.  At this point, new Miguel is presumably cured of his Rapture addiction (like in the original series) and becomes Spider-Man.  Based on what old Miguel says here, his appearance should inspire new 2099 heroes to rise against Doom, presumably resetting the timeline to whatever the "normal" 2099 timeline is at this point.  

As I've (repeatedly) mentioned, the 2099 timeline is so muddled from years of contradictory storylines (i.e., poor editing) that I'd really welcome any reboot that returns us to stories featuring a recognizable Miguel and his cast of characters.  I guess all hope lies in "Amazing Spider-Man" #36.  I won't hold my breath.

Over-a-Year-Old Comics: The December 11 (2019) Event Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!

It's been a while!  We had another child so I'm now officially 15 months behind the time.  I'll address that in a subsequent post, but let's move through the posts I had sitting in my draft folder first, shall we?

Annihilation - Scourge:  Beta Ray Bill #1:  This issue is as straight-forward as they come.  Bill and Lockjaw help save a planet from a monster, and they hang around a few days to join in the celebrations.  It conveniently means that they're on hand when the Sentry bursts into the Positive Zone.  Bill is quickly overwhelmed, but he manages to use Stormbreaker to hurl the Sentry back into the Negative Zone.  With the planet saved, he and Lockjaw head into the Negative Zone to retrieve Stormbreaker, as Bill has now reverted to his mortal form.  The most interesting moment comes when the Cancerverse's Dr. Strange initially possesses the planet's inhabitants.  Bill eventually defeats Strange, and the inhabitants revert to their normal forms, implying that, at least initially, the Cancerverse's corruption isn't permanent in the Positive Zone.  We'll see how relevant that is.

Annihilation - Scourge:  Silver Surfer #1:  This issue is perhaps the most consequential of all four one-shots.  It's tough going at first as it essentially serves as a post script to "Silver Surfer:  Black," which I didn't read.  Abnett does a solid job of walking us through Norrin's new status quo:  he's now intangible, and he fears that he's somehow part of the threat that he senses approaching the Universe.  He's also on hand when another tear in reality's fabric occurs, and he follows it into the Negative Zone.  He makes relatively quick work of the Cancerverse's Captain Marvel and Ronan, though he's forced to flee as more Revengers come his way.  He's surprised when they don't follow him into a planetary debris field, but he soon discovers why:  Bob Reynolds' human self is there.  Bob explains to Norrin that Mr. Fantastic was correct:  the Negative Zone could cure him.  But, the problem is how he was correct:  when Bob absorbed the Negative Zone's energy, it split him and the Void in two.  The Sentry that we've been seeing is the Void, not Bob.  The Cancerverse then drew the Void to it, which worked well given their complementary belief systems.  Bob informs Norrin that he's dying, since he's an incomplete being.  Norrin then realizes that he was part of this event not because he was connected to some sort of death energy, as he previously expected, but because he and Bob were both incomplete beings who could help.  He then merges with Bob, and they are presumably headed to find the Void.

Doom 2099 #1:  This "event" has been less an event and more glimpses into the new version of 2099 Marvel is pushing.  We still don't really have any idea why this new version of 2099 is different than the previous versions of 2099.  But, Marvel long ago seemed to abandon any commitment to continuity when it came to the 2099 line; I spent most of the recent "Spider-Man 2099" series just trying to piece together where exactly Miguel's new history (sigh) diverged from his old history (*sob*).  I'd look past it (yet again) if I thought we'd eventually get a new 2099 line, though I doubt it, particularly with the impact coronavirus has had on the comic industry's plans. 

At any rate, this issue is the best of the lot so far.  The previous issues haven't been bad, per se, but they all felt like the one-shots that were:  origin stories for characters we're unlikely ever to see again.  The Doom that Zdarsky gives us here is less ephemeral, since he's (theoretically) the Doom that we already know.  Zdarsky shows Reed Richards in our near-future trying to convince Doom to abandon his path as the United Nations prepares to invade Latveria.  Doom refuses, and Reed frantically tries to activate a time platform to buy more time.  Doom tries to stop him and ultimately awakens in 2099.  Initially amnesiac, he eventually confronts his future self who remembers the moment of how he first came aware of his new reality.  I don't remember how the the original Doom 2099 originally came to 2099, but by showing us how this one did (if it's different) Zdarsky at least gives us a greater connection to the characters.  It's no surprise that he, of all the authors, finds a way to do so.  But, he also has a trick up his sleeve as, on the last page, he reveals that the new Doom has Mr. Fantastic's powers.  

Unfortunately, we're not told why this new Doom's trip to 2099 would result in a different outcome than the one the existing Doom 2099 remembers.  But, maybe we'll get there at some point.  I only later realized that Doom is the person forging something from "Marvel 2099:  Alpha" #1, since Doom tells Uatu that he'll send the Kingpin after him, as he does here.  Uatu predicted Doom meant this Doom, and I'm guessing new Doom is the Doom who sends back Miguel in "Marvel 2099:  Alpha"#1.  Confused?  Me, too.  But, Zdarsky gives it the ol' college try here so I'm at least willing to see where we go.

Spider-Man 2099 #1:  I honestly have no idea what story Spencer is telling here, given the way that it ends.

The first 29 pages seem to laying the groundwork for new Miguel's origin story.  We learn that anyone working for Alchemax has to agree to take Rapture.  It enhances your cognitive functions, but it means that you're addicted to it; missing a dosage is lethal.  Although coming from a different angle, it's in line with the original "Spider-Man 2099" storyline where Miguel was similarly hooked to Rapture, though I can't quite remember why.  We also learn more about the mutated spider-man that we first saw mentioned in "Marvel 2099:  Alpha" #1.  A month ago Miguel visited Alchemax's lab in the Ravage to investigate the mutants it created hoping to find some new application for the research, since he hadn't invented anything for a while.  Miguel knows little about them, expositing that they're just rumors in Nueva York.  But, he finds little to replicate; the mutations occur simply because of the time people spend in the Ravage.  One night, he hears a spider-man mumbling.  He goes to investigate, and it attacks him, screaming "ouroboros," the same word the new Doom said to the existing Doom in the hope of disabling the Doombot.

In the present, Miguel is trying to deal with his Rapture addiction by seeking it from a pusher Downtown.  In exchange, he subjects himself to Mystique, which allows the pusher to steal his social credits for a while.  However, the pusher (who Miguel at one point hallucinates as the Green Goblin) wants more than the bargain, pledging that he's going to put good use to Miguel's credits.  Gabe and a group of Vultures save Miguel.  We learn that Gabe works in the boroughs trying to save the Thorites.  He disapproves of Miguel working for Alchemax, but he admits that Miguel had to do it to provide for him and his mother after their father died.  Here, Spencer is also staying true to Miguel and Gabe's original dynamic, though I'm not displeased to see an idealistic, instead of idyll, Gabe here.  (Gabe also brings Miguel to St. Patrick's cathedral, which made me smile.)  Miguel accuses Gabe of being overly idealistic, and Gabe admits that the Thorites and Vultures are brutally violent.  Like Miguel, he doesn't feel like he has a choice, since someone has to help the people born into the boroughs.  I liked Spencer emphasizing how both O'Hara brothers were essentially stuck on their own sides in situations they don't like.  At this point, Miguel leaves.  Gabe finds Miguel's Mystique pin, and he seems ready to use it to expose Alchemax's wrongs, something he pushed (to no success) Miguel to do. Meanwhile, Miguel hallucinates Spider-Man 2099 appearing before a graffiti-ed "ouroboros," and it seems like his powers are ready to manifest. 

At this point, I'm pretty happy.  As I've laid out here, Spencer is engaged essentially in a soft reboot of Spider-Man 2099, since most of the developments are similar to the ones that we saw in the original series.  However, Spencer then goes totally off the rails.  Miguel's powers don't manifest as expected.  Instead, he begins to "remember" "our" 2099, including the iconic first moments of "Spider-Man 2099" #1 where Miguel is escaping the Public Eye.  He collapses, only to find an old man standing over him who claims to be him.  Yeah, I have no clue either. 

Given that I enjoyed the first 29 pages, I'm also willing to give Spencer a chance here, depending on where this story ultimately goes.  But, as someone for whom Spider-Man 2099 is essentially this blog's totem figure, I also admit that I'm worried that I'll once again be disappointed that Marvel just can't capture the magic that Peter David did on the original series.