Ten-Month-Old Comics! The July 5 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

No/One #4:  We get right to it here as Ben arrives at the sports bar from last issue that Chuck Tate frequents and Tate calls to him as "Jim."  (Given that ben looks like Commissioner Gordon, I did a double-take!)  Tate, "Jim," and the barflies watch one of Tate's old games, which gives way to a newscast that mentions Coach Cade  would've had a chance to win his 100th game this week.  Tate suddenly announces he has to leave for a big booster event.  Ben follows him, and we see Tate simply bringing home a pizza and watching some TV.  Ruh-roh.

Meanwhile, the newscast shows Julia's mother, Alaina, going on a rant about Julia in response to a question about an article in which she commented about Julia.  Separately, at a press conference, we learn Danielle Gaines from Edge News published said article when she half-heartedly apologizes to Julia for it.  Julia isn't buying it, pointing out  Danielle's shoddy journalism for publishing Alaina's rant without seeking comment from Julia.  Danielle proves what a hack she is by claiming she hit "publish" by accident.  Oof.  

Their argument is interpreted when Senator Kemp takes the stage and announces that he's introducing Proposition 87, which will allow Pittsburghers to "proactively defend" themselves, through preemptive immunity, from "attacks" including "doxxing, social media terrorism, and so-called accountability data drops."  Later, Danielle hacks out again when she pays the security guard we saw at the issue's start for a piece of Adam's mail that reveals who Copycat #3's next target is.

Elsewhere, Ben visits Tate at home, and Tate recognizes him as Ben.  Ben asks why Tate is protecting Cade and goes on a fakakta spiel where he hypothesizes that Tate is worried about revealing what he knows about Cade (i.e., more about the "Clarity" note) because it'll take away his accomplishments.  Not unreasonably, Tate is like, "motherfucker, you raised a fucking serial killer, MKAY?"  Ben acknowledges he's a bad parents and says that he's trying to atone for it by finding his son's killer, who's likely Cade's killer as well.  He loses me, though, when he tells Tate that telling the truth will make people respect him more than an interception.  Like, does he live in the same America I do?

Then, a lot of things happen at once.  Someone calls into Major Crimes to tell them that Danielle Gaines is publishing the next victim's name:  Tobias North of P3.  Julia confronts her mother, who complains that she did a softball interviews of Ben Kern and No/One.  Of course, neither statement is true:  Teddy did the Kern interview, and Juila didn't interview No/One - No/One saved her life while she was recording Kenny Chobsky pulling a gun on her.  But Alaina is somehow convinced her fear-mongering is helping the situation while Julia is reporting from a bubble (where people try to assault her...).  Then, Teddy (I think) calls Julia to tell her Tate confessed to Ben that "Clarity" was a woman.

The cops arrive at North's apartment building, but No/One disables the elevators.  He arrives just in time to see Copycat #3 (presumably, but who knows at this point) shoot North, and they launch into a fight.  No/One illuminates the circle on his helmet to blind Copycat #3, and Copycat #3 uses a taser to stun No/One.  Copycat #3 then flees and hits the fire alarm, escaping in the chaos as everyone evacuates the building.  Later, at the bar, one of the barflies mentions that Tate might tell them about the afterparty that happened after the game on TV, and Ben stays to see if Tate arrives.

P.S. The podcast definitely fills in some information here that could be essential to the plot.  

First, picking up last issue's storyline, Chobsky "met" Chris O'Neil on a pro-gun sub-Reddit where they got into an argument, which prompted O'Neil threatened to SWAT Chobsky.  

Separately, Senator Kemp's brother, who apparently staunchly supported him despite being a progressive activist, changes his tune and confirms that his brother is corrupt.  

Meanwhile, in an unsourced recording, Tate admits he helped Cade get drugs and girls, because Cade liked to party.  It turns out "Clarity" was a girl who Cade found dead in bed next to him during a Spring Break party (likely the one to which the barfly alluded above).  Cade called Tate who disposed of the body for him.  Tate says he never told anyone, but obviously Copycat #3 knew.  

Finally, North oversaw a cover-up operation, paying the employees caught dumping chemicals off the Jersey Shore to claim the company didn't know anything about it.

In other words, a lot of shady shit is happening in Pittsburgh.

Star Wars #36:  This issue is an odd one, as Leia and Admiral Ackbar put the lives of four of the Rebellion's best pilots (including Lando) on the line to score a symbolic victory, striking the Emperor's statue in Monument Plaza on Coruscant.  

The pilots are (rightly) skeptical about the plan, given it's basically replicating - as Leia notes - the attack on the parade they launched in issue #26 (which I remember not at all).  But Leia and Ackbar see value in striking at Palpatine and Vader while the Force Wave distracts them, so in the pilots go.  

The team loses two pilots almost immediately, discovering the statue itself is a trap, armed with laser canons.  Chewie manages to grab Nien Nunb after he ejects from his ship and bring him aboard the Falcon, setting up his origin story as Lando's co-pilot.  They escape through all the various layers of Coruscant, per Ackbar's plan.

Later, a furious Lando berates Leia for wasting the two pilots' lives on a failed plan.  But Leia informs him that one of them got off a good shot, and we see the destroyed statue on the issue's last page.  Although Leia crows that its all over the holonet, I'm Team Lando here, as it seems harsh that Leia and Ackbar sacrificed the two pilots' lives - pilots who were among the Rebellion's best - for a public relations stunt with limited impact.

Star Wars:  Yoda #9:  Like "Star Wars:  Darth Vader - Black, White, and Red" #3, this issue does an excellent job of making Anakin's fall all the more tragic.  

Given a pretty great sequences of events, Yoda finds himself orbiting Golatha inside the remaining megadroid's body.  Despite the fact that he's suffocating, Yoda uses it as a learning opportunity for young Skywalker, as he has a doubtful Anakin use his powers to stop the megadroid's spinning.  Throughout the drama, their exchanges are delightful and clearly amplify Yoda's devastation that he failed to save him, as we see at the issue's end when he finally acknowledges Obi-Wan's ghost.

I've been rough on Yoda for years, given the deference paid to him despite his failure to recognize Palpatine as Darth Sidious.  But Yoda finally acknowledges that here, telling Obi-Wan that he hasn't removed himself from the galaxy for penance but because it's better without him.  With that acknowledgment, Yoda is right back on my list of favorite characters, the rare Jedi who can acknowledge both his failure and his grief.

Ten-Month-Old Comics!: The June 28 Top-Shelf Version (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Local Man #5:  This issue probably should've been two issues given how much Fleecs and Higgins cram in here.

The issue starts with 3rd Gen en route to "4 the Community Center," the former 4th Gen academy where Jack is currently imprisoned.  One of the team members informs Erica that they're not getting a reading on Camo and that someone on the police dispatch they're monitoring said that Camo was dead.

Meanwhile, in the Center, Jack recalls that he was promoted to 3rd Gen before classes started, but a panel on the wall still recognizes his handprint so he gains access to some sort of rec room.  Jack sees a photo of his former classmates and exposits their powers, focusing on Angelique, who had teleportation powers.  Suddenly, Camo's "child" from last issue teleports into the room and starts stabbing Jack.

During their fight, the guy - who *I think* calls himself Deliverance so we'll go with that - exposits that he is trying to kill Jack because...Jack left Farmington?  I think?  Apparently Deliverance's father was supposed to work at the Center, but after Jack left they shut down the Center.  As such, Deliverance's father died a paper boy, something Deliverance doesn't want to do.  But his story makes no sense.  After all, I'm guessing they shut down the Center because Camo stole the 4th Gen recruits' powers and gave them to his "children," which Deliverance should know since he got Angelique's powers.  It doesn't make sense that they pulled the plug on 4th Gen just because the hometown hero left town.

At any rate, before Deliverance can kill Jack, Pepper tries to stop him, and Deliverance stomps her, saying that Camo liked him because he "never froze up like a pussy when somethin' had to die."  Jack then beats the shit out of him.  He cradles Pepper's body, telling her that he should've been there for her, that he was a "selfish fucking stupid asshole."  Before Deliverance can teleport a weight rack on Jack's head, Inga arrives and shoots him with Brian's gun.  (Brian apparently called her, and she got to him before he died.)  Jack explains to Inga that Deliverance killed Hodag for Camo Crusader.

In good news, Pepper is fine!  We see a flashback where Pepper got into one of Camo's tubes, making herself indestructible.  (That said, it happens after Pepper displayed some curious behavior, so I'm not sure it's the end of the story about Pepper.)

With Deliverance defeated, 3rd Gen arrives.  Based on Erica's comments, Jack realizes that Erica knew what Camo was doing.  We find out Camo was furious that Erica had an abortion, which is why Jack thinks he fired him.  Erica explains she liked Jack because he was uncomplicated, and Camo fired him because he was cutting ties to the Aphek Project.  (Was he?  It didn't seem like he was in the cave.)  Camo figured Jack would just become a drunk, not start looking into conspiracies.  Jack insists that Farmington is his home, and Erica tells him that she doesn't believe him.  She doesn't believe that he could care about anything except his image, which is why she had the abortion.

We cut to Jack telling this story to Inga in bed, telling her that he wants to start small, to be a good guy.  Inga tells him that she always thought he was one and tells him to leave before Brian's mom returns with the kids.

Then, we get to the part that feels tacked onto the issue as Inga gets a call from "Investor 1" and "Investor 2."  Over the course of the conversation, we learn that Inga now has the Aphek Engine and is using it to churn out "super-laborers" to match whatever skills the Investors need, like super strength and "human petroleum manufacturing" (powers that the 4th Gen recruits also had, as shown below).  It turns out Inga was in charge of Camo Crusader but, like Investor 1, saw him as a liability.  Investor 2 asks if she's going to eliminate Crossjack, and she tells him that she'll handle him.

In the throwback story, Camo decides to put the 4th Gen project on hold because the "heroes" were degenerates:  Meltdown and Peekaboo were lesbians, King Bee wanted to use Meltdown and Seascape's powers to make a hot tub, and, well, let's just say that The Slick's ability to "make [his] own lube" didn't endear him to Camo.  We also learn here one of the Investors is the Vice President Dan Quayle, alluding to WildC.A.T.s #1-#3 where a Daemonite impersonated Quayle!

All in all, it's chaos, but that chaos is an ode to Image in its early days so it fits this title well.

Also Read:  Dungeons & Dragons:  Saturday Morning Adventures #4

Ten-Month-Old Comics! The June 21 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Red Zone #4:  This series is one of the few I've read where the tension just never wanes.  Every page is as propulsive as the previous one.

We begin with Volkov sending another assassin after Crane, this time a cowboy-obsessed one named Maxim.  Meanwhile, Deidre is trying to find a way to extract Crane and Nika.  Abramov promises to keep them safe, and he and Randall take a walk through the deserted town surrounding Abramov's dacha, remembering the old times.  Surprising no one, though, Abramov alerted Volkov to Crane's presence, and Deidre warns Crane just in time.  Abramov asks Crane to forgive him as they are in "new days" but dies after drinking wine Belov poisoned.  (This part is a little unbelievable, given that Belov had to plan for Crane arriving at Abramov's and Abramov serving exactly that wine to Crane at some point.)

Crane and Nika escape to the nearby town with Maxim in pursuit.  Maxim is poised to kill Crane when, surprising me (and Crane), Vasiliev the cyborg and Milena the sniper stop him so they can kill Crane.  Vasiliev kills Maxim, Milena shoots Vasiliev, and Nika kills Milena (quipping that she "didn't even need a special bullet," an allusion to Milena's rocket-powered bullets).  A dying Vasiliev puts Milena's body in his lap and confesses that he loved her, wishing he had told her or she had noticed.  He dies, and Nika confesses that she feels badly for them.  

As the reader, I do, too.  Abramov made it clear that they've all suffered under this new Russia, their years of "expense accounts" and "fancy suits" ended.  Crane might've missed the old days but clearly built a new life for himself.  Volkov, Vasiliev, Milena, and Abramov were all still living in the past, given how much better it was then the present.  It's an example of Bunn's excellent writing where the "villains" aren't just revenge-motivated communists.

Speaking of Volkov, he arrives and engages in a fist fight with Crane.  They both delight in the battle, to the point where Crane lets him live because he hasn't felt so alive in years.  He pledges to return once he gets Nika out safely.  The issue ends with Deidre and Nika watching Crane teach his class back in New York.  Deidre asks Nika if she's going to tell Crane the truth, that he's her father, but Nika demurs.  Deidre tells her that she's going to give him the last known location of Belov, signaling that they all know his days of "laying low" are over.  Deidre is also Nika's handler now, so we're moving into "Alias" territory here, which I fully support.

Again, it was really a fantastic mini-series and I'm thrilled we're getting another installment.  I can't recommend it highly enough.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #35:  This issue is great, a return to everything I want this series to be.  

T'onga sells the Edgehawk to pay her crew and hire her former boss, Khel Tanna of "Star Wars:  Han Solo and Chewbacca" fame.  She needs to find Boba Fett, whom she thinks can help restore Valance's memory.  Tanna's associate, a Clawdite named Catak, starts a bar fight in the Bounty Hungers Guild Social Club, and Tanna hires the last two bounty hunters standing, Deathstick and a Gen'Dai named Surge.

On the Enigma Catalyst, Valance is trying to draw the faces he remembers, and Bossk snaps at a Clawdite who makes fun of Valance, warning him to let Valance grieve his loss.  It's an interesting turn of events given these two guys were ready to kill each other last issue.  

The raid on Boba Fett's hideout goes as poorly as expect, though T'onga gets over her fear of him and disarms him.  (He is *smoking* hot here thanks to Medina and Prianto.)  He agrees to help so long as they do a favor for him first, which I'm sure won't be complicated or dangerous at all.

Again, this series has been struggling for a while so I'm thrilled to see it find its footing.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader - Black, White, and Red #3:  This issue is probably the best of all these "Black, White, and Red," series.  

Aaron's Vader story wraps up as expected, with Vader using his powers to take out Cyn and his allies.  But it's Johnson's story of Vader using a transport full of Rebel soldiers' family members to destroy their base and Bernadin's of Vader forcing a Rebel spy to become a double agent to save her family (even if she could never speak to them again) that underscore how far Anakin fell.  

I often struggle with depictions of Vader, because it's hard to see Anakin in there.  But in both these stories you can see where Anakin's overconfidence - which we saw in "Star Wars:  Yoda" #8 - leads him to play with his food, as he so often does, in his pursuit of order.  It's unusual to get one story to push that point so elegantly, so it's a treat to get two doing so here.

Ten-Month-Old Comics! The June 14 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #35:  I stopped reading "Doctor Aphra" because I find the schtick of Aphra always finding a way to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat tiresome, so I can't say I'm thrilled to see her here.  That said, I'll admit that it makes sense that Vader sought out Aphra for help with his particular problem since she apparently once tried to neutralize his powers with a "kyberite confessional," which I don't remember and don't care enough to research.  

Aphra leads Vader and Ochi to a planet named Ringo Vinda, where she presents Vader with a kyberite shield.  She explains that kyber grows in kyberite due to their oppositional properties, so kyberite can channel and guide the Force.  (I'll be honest, this part makes no sense.  I thought Pak was setting up that kyberite negates the Force due to the "oppositional properties" bit, so I don't get why it "channels and guides" it instead.)  Vader tries to use the shield to kill Aphra, but she's somehow uploaded a program that protects her from it.  (Why does a kyberite shield have software in it?  By now, we should know not to ask questions.) 

At any rate, droids appear to take out Vader, so Aphra is probably going to escape again.  Whatever.  At least this issue didn't have Sabé in it.

Star Wars:  Sana Starros #5:  I guess this issue is OK?  It's a little too busy but Ireland does a solid job making all the component parts clear enough to provide a satisfying ending.  The most interesting part is Phel not remembering that Sana came to Lothal to try to spring him from the Imperial Academy, though Ireland leaves what happened to Phel's memory a mystery.  It opens the door to Sana and Phel reconciling one day, which is nice.  All in all, it feels like Ireland had a much larger story planned and was forced to cram it into five issues.  Given how long the editors gave the Sabé drama in "Star Wars:  Darth Vader," Sana deserved more time, which we'll hopefully get in the future.

Eleven-Month-Old Comics! The June 7 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars #35:  This issue isn't terrible, but the character of Dr. Cuata gets lost in a lot of exposition and foreshadowing.  It's a shame because he's an interesting one, as he has a direct relationship with kyber crystals despite the fact that he isn't a Jedi or a Sith.  

In exchange for fixing Luke's lightsaber, Cuata asks Luke to heal a red kyber crystal (through a ritual that Gretta's people, the Fallanassi, used in the days after the Sith's fall) and engage with a clear one.  In the first case, Luke encounters a Sith in a throne room (a pretty spectacular scene due to Rosenberg's colors) and Vader.  In the second one, he encounters Yoda, which turns the crystal green.  Luke departs with both crystals and his repaired lightsaber.  Gretta informs us that her debt to her family is discharged, though I can't for the life of me remember what said debt is or why her helping Luke would discharge it.

One of the issue's more interesting parts is when Cuata describes lightsabers as comprising only five parts:  a power cell, the casing, the focusing lens, the emitter, and the crystal.  The rest is just wiring and an on/off switch, though that seems pretty oversimplistic, unless the Force gives Jedis knowledge of electrical engineering.  That said, Cuata highlights the fact that Luke found both his previous lightsabers so it's probably time for him to make his own.  I hadn't entirely realized that before, so I'm intrigued to see where Luke's journey to make his own lightsaber takes him.

Star Wars:  Yoda #8:  This issue is the best of the series, as Yoda's experience serve as a great foil to Anakin's confidence (or, overconfidence, to Yoda's mind) and vice versa.  Anakin's confidence is shaken when the Separatist droids on Golatha take out all of Company 326 before Yoda can stop them.  But Anakin's plan to burst into the Megadroid factory still works, even if Anakin and Yoda are forced to face the final Megadroid on their own.  Other Jedia Masters often dismiss Anakin due to his brashness, but it seems to intrigue Yoda, even if he has reservations.  I'm glad we get at least one more issue of them together.

Also Read:  Star Wars:  Return of the Jedi - The Empire #1

Eleven-Month-Old Comics!: The May 31 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Local Man #4:  Man, our dude just can't keep himself from trouble.

Jack stands in front of a closed quarry and exposits (via a conversation with Pepper) that Inga's husband, Brian, mentioned he saw lights in the sky above the quarry and Frightside mentioned Hodag was obsessed with it (the quarry).  Jack initially pinned Hodag's death on interrupting a drug deal there since, in Jack's days, dealers used to work from the quarry.  Brian interrupts Jack's reverie when he arrives to inform him that someone drowned Frightside.  Brian notes the coincidence of Jack visiting her at the community center and her winding up dead.  Before Brian can arrest him, Jack flees over the fence and jumps into the quarry, following some underwater lights into a cave.

In said cave, Jack discovers human sized tubes and the Mercy Seat, the "literal lid that contained all the wisdom and power of God," which only the most devout can touch.  Camo Crusader appears from the shadows and Jack hugs him, telling him that "something cosmic-level fucked" is happening in the town.  Jack then realizes the Crusader isn't wet, meaning he didn't arrive via the quarry, and the Crusader begins beating Jack to a pulp.

As he kicks Jack's ass, the Crusader exposits that he'd never thought Jack would return to his home town, figuring instead that he'd "end up doing cheap carnival tricks at the Hall of Heroes like the others."  Showing how nuts he is, the Crusader asks why Jack suddenly decided to make something of himself, concluding that he wanted to ruin the Crusader's life by ensuring he didn't "leave anything behind on Earth."  (Um, OK.). The Crusader continues to rant, saying Erica did things for Jack that she'd never did for him.  (Um, OK.)  He then tells him that Jack stole "a child from my wife's womb."  (Um, did Erica have Jack's baby?)  The Crusader tells him that he now has no one with whom to share his immorality, and Jack realizes the Crusader opened the Mercy Seat.

Before the Crusader can kill Jack, Brian arrives and tells the Crusader he's under arrest for assault and trespassing.  (Um, sure, dude.  Like, you thought the gun would work on this guy?)  Before the Crusader can kill Brian, Jack mortally wounds the Crusader with an arrow through the eye. (He was shooting for his hand.  Apparently, he never mastered the bow and arrow.  Heh.)  Jack exposits that he thinks the Crusader was going to make himself a god by attaching the Mercy Seat to the Aphek Engine.  Jack accuses the Crusader of killing Hodag and Frightside for stumbling upon his secret, but the Crusader cryptically says before he dies that, "All my children must now do for themselves."

Later, Jack awakens in the police HQ, which is in the same building as the community center and is apparently the former 4th Gen training facility.  Jack finds some files of his fellow former 4th Gen recruits and connects the recruits to the Crusader, either as his "children" themselves or as victims of his children because they stole the 4th Genners' powers via the Aphek Engine.  Outside, some guy with a mullet who I think we're supposed to recognize arrives and stabs Brian and makes his way to Jack.

Meanwhile, the back-up story confirms that Erica did seemingly have Jack's baby.  The Crusader, Neon (a.k.a. Erica), and Jack wind up stranded on a strange planet.  After Jack confesses that his failure to kill a deer while hunting with his dad led to their estrangement (and his inability to shoot a bow and arrow), the Crusader helps Jack aim his bow and arrow.  Later, the Crusader asks Jack to impregnate Erica, since the tonic that gave him his powers also means that he can't feel (or, presumably, you know).  It seems like the Crusader thought that Erica and Jack would just have sex the one time, but they definitely didn't stop.

Pathfinder:  Wake the Dead #1:  Van Lente spends a lot of time telling us the characters' histories and motivations here, which makes me long for the days when everything wasn't mini-series that required constant exposition.

At any rate, six adventurers find themselves in Ecanus, a Nexian city on the border with the "undead nation of Geb."  More specifically, they're in "the Awful," a former garden district "reduced to viscera thanks to the explosion of a massive flesh forge" that Nex's battlemages used to churn "out Nexian horrors to battle Geb's lifeless hordes."  Fun place!

Sajan Gadadvara and Lem (!) are an Irorian monk and Chelaxian minstrel, respectively, working for the Firebrands for their first brand, though Sajan is also trying to get the Brands to tell him something about his sister (of course).  Quinn, a "consulting investigator," is our insufferable expositor who provides this information to us.  Seelah is an Iomedaean paladin working on behalf of the Knights of Lastwall, and Harsk (!) rounds out the group as a Pathfinder agent.  They're all after Gabsalia Venris, an advisor to Geb's spymaster.  She clearly put out word to every group in Golarion that she wanted to escape Geb.

The adventures becomes a team when two Nexian deathsealers, Hazan and Jawar, arrive to make sure that Nex gets Gabsalia.  Before either side can gain the upper hand, three Gebian undead arrive.  They inform the group they were Gabsalia's mother, husband, and daughter, who the Gebians tortured to death and rose to chase Gabsalia.  Nice.  The zombies hurl their skins at the team, revealing themselves as shredskins.  Seelah exposits that her parents left Geb due to the undead legions, and she makes quick work of Gabsalia's family to send their bodies to rest.  Moving from the pan to the fire, the team discovers the deathsealers' bodies just as some other Nexian figures arrive to blame them for Hazan and Jawar's deaths.

Again, the exposition sucks, but I like the premise enough that I'm hoping Van Lente is able to dive into the story next issue, with the table now set.  The "Pathfinder" comics really excel when they're showing how awful Golarion can be, and this series promises to be no different.

Star Wars:  Sana Starros #4:  I like Sana Starros, and she deserves better than this series.  After so much promise, it's devolved into an unceasing series of aphorisms about family to the point where a Real Housewife of New Jersey would cringe.  The plot, such as it is, involves a data cube onboard the King's Ransom, a Starros possibly dealing with the Soikans (which is apparently bad), and Mevera needing a stockpile of gherlian fur.  Yeah, I don't know either.  At any rate, if Phel is right and the family abandoned him after the Empire arrested him, it isn't easy to empathize with the Starros women as they keep trying to make him the bad guy.  In fact, it seems like the Starros women all make terrible decisions and disown anyone who calls them on it.

Eleven-Month-Old Comics!: The May 24 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dungeons & Dragons:  Saturday Morning Adventures #3:  Dana and Eric find themselves face to face with a beholder when the real Phaelona arrives and saves them.  She explains that the Phaelona they met told the truth - the real Phaelona has been stuck in the monastery - but neglected to mention that she (the fake Phaelona) threw her (the real Phaelona) in the dungeon after coming through one of the portals the real Phaelona summoned.  

With stirring speeches about how they've become a family since arriving in the Forgotten Realms, Eric and Dana awaken their friends from the spell fake Phaelona cast over them.  Eric realizes the fake Phaelona is after their weapons, prompting her to reveal herself as Venger!  

I don't remember why Venger wants their weapons, though, to my defense, I haven't seen the cartoon in 40 years.  But for a comic about a TV series aimed at kids Booher does a solid job keeping up the tension.  I do find myself wishing we could up the story's target age and get a more adult version of what the team's life is like in the Realms.  But for now I'm happy with what we have here.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader - Black, White, and Red #2:  Aaron's story improves here, as we learn that Cyn wants to destroy Vader (Cyn's father's crowing achievement) as punishment for the cybernetic implants to which his father subjected him.  Cyn has disabled Vader's motor functions though kept his neural receptors active so he can feel the pain of what Cyn and his allies are going to do to him.  But Vader uses the Force to take over Cyn's team, forcing the survivors (including Cyn) to flee outside the chopshop and regroup.  Honestly, I'm not going to feel too badly for Cyn when Vader eventually gets him.

Pepose's story is perhaps the best so far as Vader and his team of Stormtroopers arrive on the Endless Mercy to investigate a rumor that a former Tagge Corp. engineer, Dr. Sera Lemare, has engineered the perfect killing machine.  It turns out Lemare has turned herself and her team into Z'Rakkon hybrids and she now wants to do the same to Vader.  The "Alien" vibe is great as Vader fights off the possession and takes out Lemare, crashing the Endless Mercy into a nearby planet.

Ying's story is also solid, as a young child watches their bullies cower in fear when Vader comes to their village searching for a Rebel in hiding  The story is particularly effective in amping up the emotions, as the bullies don't just try to break the child's wagon but burn down their home when the child wasn't initially cowed.  When Vader arrives, the lead bully is shown sniveling and clinging to his mother, and the child realizes the bully was right when he said the only thing that matters is power.  It's grim but definitely a lesson kids in this galaxy probably learn.

Eleven-Month-Old Comics!: The May 17 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

No/One #3:  As someone who's read each issue at least twice and listened to the first podcast, even I'm pretty confused about the plot at this stage.  It feels like Higgins & Buccellato are throwing way too many characters and mysteries at us.  I'm going to group this recap into sub-plots since I think it's an easier way to discuss the story, but I'm still grasping at straws at trying to make sense of it all.

• Kenny Chobsky:  
• The issue focuses mostly on a guy named Kenny Chobsky who killed a guy named Chris O'Neil.  The incident occurred after Chobsky stalked O'Neil due to "online threats" O'Neil made against Chobsky.  As far as I can tell, we never learn why O'Neil was threatening Chobsky; we just learn that O'Neil threatened to SWAT Chobsky's house.  We get this information through some talking heads on a Fox News program that Teddy is watching in his office when Julia enters.  Of note, the show's host is Julia's mother.
• Later, Chobsky calls Juila (interrupting her call with Alejandro, see below), and he's totally unhinged.  Julia discourages him from using her private number in the future, but he's obsessed with getting on her show so that he can defend himself from the "bad shit" people are saying about him.  Julia ends the call.
• After Singh leaves the bar where he meets Julia (see below), Kenny arrives and berates her, telling her that he's a "goddman warrior for our constitutional rights."  Julia tells him that she isn't interested, and he threatens her violently, forcing the bouncer to eject him.  Julia refuses the manager's repeated offers to walk her to her car, which winds up being a bad call when Kenny meets her at her car with a gun and demands they conduct an interview.  No/One arrives and saves Julia, firing the gun next to Kenny's ear and knocking him unconscious.  No/One then tells Julia that he helped her to "account for what I've opened up in Pittsburgh."

• No/One and the Copycats:  
• While Teddy and Julia were talking in his office, J.R. (the podcast's producer) enters and pushes them to do an episode on No/One's identity, noting the PPD has a theory that No/One is the Copycat #3.  He also wants the podcast to cover the Chobsky case, though, again, no one (heh) actually says why they're linked, other than they both involve doxxing.  

• At this point, I'll note that it's really hard to keep the Copycats straight, since we haven't ever met two of them.  It's only through reading the "Knowpedia" article at the end of the issue that I realized Copycat #1 is someone named Oliver Simpson who killed Superintendent Taylor Crushing and Copycat #2 is someone named Luke Cavanaugh who murdered venture capitalist Stewart Duane.  
• It's Copycat #3 who killed Louis Capel, shot Ben Kern, and murdered Michael Kern.  I'm assuming Copycat #3 also killed Coach Cade.  Notably, he claims that he (and not Aaron) is Richard Roe.  If true, it means he also killed Julian Colon and shot Senator Kemp.

• Meanwhile, Singh is frustrated about the attention on No/One, since it's Copycat #3 who killed three people whereas No/One just induced one cop into tasering another one.  Singh later meets with Julia (at the aforementioned bar) and says that he doesn't believe that No/One and Copycat #3 are the same person, despite what J.R. said.  Singh says Lt. McGarrity of Major Crimes might be the only one to believe that; in fact, Singh claims McGarrity has an obsession with connecting No/One with Copycat #3.
• No/One has access to cameras in PPD HQ as he watches McGarrity speak with Chief Nixon.

• Michael Kern:  
• Meanwhile, McGarrity is focused on Michael's murder, because he doesn't understand why Copycat #3 targeted him.  McGarrity seems to think Aaron and Michael were working together, but he doesn't have any evidence of it.  In fact, the issue begins with Sgt. Aaron Harmon conducting an exit interview with Ben and McGarrity interrupting it to demand more information from Ben.  Harmon - who "everyone trusts" - convinces McGarrity to give Michael's file to Ben to see if he can find something that they can't see.

• Chuck Tate:  
• Julia calls a (smoking hot and shirtless) Alejandro about Tate.  Alejandro tells Julia that Tate went dark once Copycat #3 killed Coach Cade.  Julia asks Alejandro to put her in touch with Tate, hoping to learn who would want Cade dead and about the "clarity" note in exchange for putting Alejandro on the podcast.  Alejandro notes that Tate is obsessed with his past, still hanging around college bars.  
• The issue ends with Tate walking into one of those bars, with Ben sitting in the corner and holding the folder McGarrity gave him at the issue's start.

• The Podcast:
• I listened to the second podcast.  Rachel Leigh Cook's inflection drives me crazy, but the podcast is pretty essential listening if you're following the series closely.  Just like the last installment, this one doesn't so much reveal new information as it makes some new connections between information we already know.
• The most significant connection is that Aaron confessed to the Richard Roe murders (at one point quipping to the cops, "Think I'm killing people for fun?") though Copycat #3 claims that *he's* the original Richard Roe.  Julia and Teddy review the three dominant theories behind this discrepancy:  1) Copycat #3 *is* the real Richard Roe and is furious at Aaron for taking the credit (which may explain why he went after Ben and Michael); 2) Copycat #3 is working on Aaron's orders, so Aaron's confession is accurate, in a way; or 3) someone is using the discrepancy to obfuscate something for unclear reasons.
• The podcast also reminds us that the PPD wasn't just hiding Aaron's identity when it booked him as Richard Roe:  he was originally booked under that name when a cop arrested him for a misdemeanor possession charge when he was 16 years old.  When he was booked this time, the fingerprints brought up that name.  Knowing what we do about Aaron, I'm surprised he was into drugs, which makes me wonder if he wasn't covering for Michael somehow.
• On Michael, we get a location name that could be significant, as we learn that his troubles really got going when a cop found him drunk on a park bench in the Enrich Parklet in East Liberty.  Continuing on names that feel like Chekhov's Gun, Naomi Kern worked for Kieling Williams and Mandelbaum (sp?) and died of a "lupus-like disease" that the doctors could never identify.  If Richard Roe kills a pharmaceutical executive or medical researcher I wouldn't be surprised.

My only guess at No/One's identity at this point is that he's Sgt. Harmon, given McGarrity's comment that "everyone trusts" him.  But the problem remains that we have way too many subplots that aren't even remotely connected.  We have no clear link between Chobsky and No/One or Copycat #3 and No/One.  Clearly we're getting there, but it's already difficult enough trying to keep the Copycats straight, particularly when you add the confusing overlaps between their actions and Aaron's, No/One's, and Richard Roe's.  In other words, we could be dealing with six separate people or one person, it seems.

Red Zone #3:  Man, I love this series, and I'm bummed it's ending next issue.

I feel like the central question here is whether Randall knows why he's under attack.  He ostensibly thinks that he was in Russia to extricate Nika and her mother but unexpectedly found himself the subject of a bounty that brought out his old enemies (and, in one case, the sons of his old enemies).  But Deidre discovers that someone is trying to classify Randall's file so even she can't see it, which implies that someone within the U.S. government (or whomever her employer is) might have set up Randall.

Meanwhile, the issue revolves around Randall and Nika escaping the legions of people coming after them.  It also brings Nika more into focus, as she begins asking Randall why exactly so many people are willing to kill him, seeming to believe (like me) that it can't just be all about the past.  We end the issue at the dacha of Novel Abramov, who Randall describes as the most dangerous person he's ever met.  That'll go well.

I'd like to flag here how perfect Deodata is for this series.  Honestly, I could read 100 issues of this series and still want more.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #34:  I can't say I've been particularly interested in Vukorah's story, given that her characters seem to change to fit the arc, but I love her tricking IG-88 into killing the men attempting a coup d'état against her so she can get a fresh start.  From all we've seen, Vukorah deserves that.

Conversely, Valance's story just gets more heartbreaking.  We start the issue with a flashback to his childhood on Chorin, with his mother fixing his toy spaceship and telling him not to forget her when he's a famous pilot.  In the present, Iden Versio and her men make their way on board the Edgehawk.  Versio neutralizes Bossk and informs Valance that Lieutenant Haydenn sent them to wipe his memory.  A defeated Valance agrees.

Versio and her team depart the Edgehawk and inform Haydenn that they've done the job, leaving Haydenn in tears.  (Of note, Haydenn informs Versio that she and her men weren't allowed to kill anyone on T'onga's crew.)  Meanwhile, T'onga arrives on board the Edgehawk to find Valance as the memory of his mother that started the issue fades.  Apparently, all his memories will disappear in two days.

As T'onga informs the crew that they're heading to a fixer who can help Valance, Tasu announces that he's leaving to be among his people.  Losha is outraged, but T'onga gasses Losha and asks Tasu to take her to Syphacc's palace, where she'll be safe.  With that, she gives him her blessing to leave.

Before I go, I will say that I continue to enjoy Villanelli's portrayal of Valance not as a freak but as a force.  Sure, he looks like he could do cyborg porn on the side, which I don't mind, but he also looks like the commanding figure that he was before he became a cyborg, which helps underscore how far he's fallen.

Eleven-Month-Old Comics!: The May 10 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Black Cloak #5:  Holy fucking crap.  I did *not* see that coming.

I'll start by saying that McClaren is on fire throughout this issue.  I don't know how long it took her to get the floating staircase right in Phinneas II's apartment, but I want her to know that I see her and it's amazing.

The issue begins with Phinneas and his son, Devaki, on one couch and Phaedra and Nix on the facing one.  Phinneas apparently didn't know Phaedra knew he was her biological father, so they don't have the warm relationship I hoped they had when they met at the end of last issue.

Phaedra informs Phinneas that the Kiros Three are plotting against him, though Phinneas isn't particularly concerned as they've been plotting against him for years.  He respects humans, calling them some of the "brightest, most clever and most surprising of any beings living in Kiros," but frets that their short lifespans make them "ruthless, short-sighted, and desperate."  (Fair.)  To his mind, a human-ruled Kiros would be a disaster.  He expresses relief the elves are in charge, though Phaedra bursts that bubble when she reveals the Queen murdered Freyal.

Phinneas is appalled, since he knows the Queen loved Freyal "more than almost anything."  Phaedra points out the "almost" is the operative word there, though she agrees that the Queen loved Freyal.  She starts by saying that she doesn't think the Kiros Three are involved in the plot but merely taking advantage of a good hand.  Phaedra asks Phinneas what secret he thinks Freyal was hiding that the Queen would kill him to keep secret.  Phinneas responds that he doesn't have that kind of power, because - and, oof, this one had to hit Phaedra between the eyes - if he did, nothing in Kiros would've kept him from her.  Leaving that statement hanging, he announces that he'll fetch someone who might know the answer.  

While he's gone, Devaki brings Phaedra to a beautiful painting that isn't, as Phaedra says, "a print."  Devaki confirms that it's an original and tells her what he's going to do will be awkward but worth it.  He places her hand on the painting, informing her that only four prints in the world can activate it.  He encourages her to guess the passcode, which she does:  Phaedra.  (Again, oof.)  Suddenly, Phaedra experiences a flood of memories, some of which I think involve her.  Phinneas returns and tells Devaki that he shouldn't have shown Phaedra the painting as a grief-stricken Phaedra just stares at him.

Before Phinneas can explain, Phaedra and Nix pull their guns since Ividor, one of the elven wizards from previous issues, is standing next to him.  Ividor refuses to put up his hands, and Phinneas tells him to show them what he's holding because they all have the same problem.  He warns them that they might not like what they're going to see and opens his hands:  he's holding a baby taka.  OMG.  

Ividor reveals that he found the taka in the bowels of the castle, in an area "long closed off" but where people are now working in secret.  Phaedra asks, "On what?", to which Ividor responds, "I'd say that's our million-credit question, detective."  Indeed.  Phaedra tells the group that she has a plan that'll get them all killed if not court-martialed, and they're all game.  (Devaki smiles eagerly, so we totally love him.)  Ividor then departs.

In a literal example of Chekhov's gun, Phaedra inquires about the gun Devaki is holding, which is emphemeral.  Devaki explains that he and his father crafted it:  it made of magic and is as powerful as the magic channeled through it.  Phaedra and Nix leave (via Nix flying and carrying Phaedra), and Nix tells her that he likes her brother and father.  She confesses that she likes them, too.  

Nix asks if they're going straight to the North Tower, and Phaedra says no.  Since the seers and lookouts guarding the castle would easily notice people entering via the abandoned North Tower, she instead has them mingle into the crowd at a party in front of the West Tower.  The party is spectacular (Nix is appalled at some people wearing mechanical wings), and Phaedra directs Nix to a blind spot.  They enter an abandoned room in the Tower, move a stone, and follow a secret passage to a closet, where Phaedra finds clothes for them so they can blend more easily.  They look...ridiculous, in the best possible way.  It's like cyberpunk meets fantasy?  It's hilarious, and I hope McClaren had as much fun drawing it as I did looking at it.

The pair make their way to an elevator and, in another beautifully drawn sequence, through a series of passages to stairs under the North Tower (which, for reasons Thompson still hasn't told us, Phaedra says has been abandoned since she was a child).  They enter a cavern that almost looks like a Death Star inside, with a large mechanical object that resembles a heart hooked to a variety of pipes and tubes, all hanging over a blood-stained altar.  Nix expresses surprise that it wasn't more securely locked, but Phaedra says the people up there likely don't come down here since they don't want to know it exists.

Of course, they run into Hadrian, Phaedra's brother, who McClaren makes look like an '80s movie bully.  Phaedra dismisses his attempts to engage her, and they eventually handcuff him.  They find what Phaedra describes as a broom closet, where she hopes to drop Hadrian so they can investigate.  Suddenly the taka leaps from her cloak and gets all excited.  They find a door, prompting Nix to comment, "Door in a 'closet.'  Not a good sign."  They open the door to find a lab full of takas and large crystals.  

Holy fucking shit, are the elves sacrificing takas?!?

Dragon Age:  The Missing #4:  I don't know what I want to say about this one.  I generally have a low bar for these mini-series, and this one gets over it almost solely due to Varric's presence.  But the plot is thin at best.  

It turns out the Venatori were trailing Varric and Harding because Solas freed some of their slaves and attacked some of their sites, stealing artifacts from them.  The main goal of this issue is clearly the introduction of Neve Gallus, an "investigator" who works with a group called the Shadow Dragons, who are seemingly Tevinter do-gooders.  Neve leads Varric and Harding to one of the slaves who Solas freed, who informs them that the slaves aren't working for Solas anymore since he's leaving town.  When the slave mentions off-hand that the rest of the freed slaves are meeting that night to discuss what they should do next, Varric and Harding realize the Venatori probably think the elves are working for Solas just like they did.  They decide to let Solas slip through their fingers in order to protect the slaves from what the Venatoria, who they expect will try to recapture them.  

Varric and Harding realize at the end that Solas knew they'd help the elves instead of chasing him.  As a result, he realizes all his goals:  the elves are safe, the Venatori aren't on his tail, and he escaped Varric and Harding.  They realize that they need to chase Solas who he doesn't know as well as them, cueing up "Dragon Age:  Dreadwolf."

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #34:  I'm not really sure what happened here, to be honest.  

Vader seemingly kills Sabé after she refuses to hate and, thus, refuses to chose between power and suffering.  But Pak doesn't really explain why Vader is so focused on Sabé choosing one at this point in time.  In fact, he's really facing more pressing problems.  Before her "death," Sabé has a vision that, to her mind, confirms Anakin still has good in him, though Pak doesn't explain how Sabé is suddenly having visions.  

The issue ends with Vader taking out a Rebel party who stumbles upon him and takes their shot to kill him.  Vader seemed to know the Rebels were coming, though I don't know how he did as it feels totally random when it happens.  I thought Sabé brought him to a deserted planet so he couldn't hurt anyone?  Whatever.