Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The March 13 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

ThunderCats #2:  If I didn't have an almost 600-issue backlog, I'd consider hanging in here.  As ridiculous as it is to say about anthropomorphic cats from another planet, though, Shavley's ThunderCats aren't all that believable.  For example, they occasionally speak as if they're characters in Shakespearean fanfic yet other times speak "normally."  It's emblematic of what seems like Shavley's uncertainty about the story he's telling.

In this issue, Shavley takes a page from the 2011 cartoon series and introduces Calica as his version of Pumyra.  Panthro is rightfully suspicious when they stumble upon her and asks questions that could fairly easily verify whether she's truly a Thunderian.  But Lion-O's hormones get in the way; after confronting Panthro, he whisks Calico to a separate room to tell her about Thundera's fate.  Calica is somehow Mumm-Ra's thrall, which Panthro would've likely discovered if not for Lion-O's plot-convenient horniness.

In other words, I'm going to get while the getting is good.  It makes me sad, because I really enjoyed the idea of this series but I don't have time to hang in there.

Transformers #6:  To quote Kathy Griffin, holy fuck balls, you guys.

Johnson hurls us right into the action as the Autobots retreat from Devastator as he blocks their access to the Ark.  Contemplating the terror that is Devastator, Sparky remembers Jimmy telling him, shortly before his shuttle launched into space, that nothing bad was going to happen to him.  

As the Autobots retreat, Cliffjumper arrives with Carly, who thankfully convinces him not to drive directly at Devastator since they're the small ones and instead redirects him to a separate access point in the back of the Ark.  As Starscream revels (throwing devil horns, no less) in Devastator scaring the Autobots, Optimus lands a kick in Starscream's face and clears the way for the Autobots to enter the Ark.  A furious Thundercracker opens fire at them, screaming at them that they'll pay for what they did to Skywarp (heh).  

Optimus shields Sparky from the gunfire, and then Optimus, Sparky, Arcee, Jazz, and a crawling Ratchet enter the Ark.  However, Devastator manages to grab Optimus' leg and yanks him from the Ark.  As Devastator pummels Optimus, Arcee and Jazz open fire on him.  Arcee manages to get hold of Optimus and drag him into the Ark as Jazz continues to fire.  Devastator grabs Ratchet's good leg, and Ratchet has Jazz close the door on it, shutting out Devastator (and his leg).

It's intense, y'all.

Before Devastator destroys the Ark in his pursuit of the Autobots, Soundwave tells him to dig his way into the Ark from the mountain's backside.  Meanwhile, Cliffjumper and Carly enter the Ark only to come face to face with Starscream.  

In a scene familiar to anyone who had their heart broken watching "Transformers:  The Movie" in 1986, Optimus tells the Autobots that he's dying, something Ratchet confirms.  A morose Optimus laments that he thought they still had hope and acknowledges that Jetfire was right.  A devastated Arcee begs him not to die, and Optimus removes the Matrix, which he drops onto the floor.

In a totally unexpected development, Sparky wonders aloud, "If there only was a way..." as he looks at the Matrix.  When Ratchet questions what he's doing, Sparky says that every time something bad happened — to his men, to Jimmy, to Spike — he thought to himself, "If only I could have taken their place."  As he hears Devastator knocking through the Ark's walls, Sparky tells Optimus that he knows Optimus is going to care for the world like he cares for his boys.  Asking Optimus to watch over Spike for him, Sparky begins to enter the Matrix.  Before he disappears, he asks the Autobots to tell Spike how proud he is of him.  Sparky then fully disappears into the Matrix, and Optimus is healed.

Pledging to protect Spike and Earth, Optimus is ready to take on Devastator, who's made his way into the Ark.  He tears off Devastator's finger, opens fire with his gun and Megatron's cannon, and then kicks him in the face.

Elsewhere, Cliffjumper gets the jump (heh) on Starscream and wonders aloud what it'll be like to get the revenge he's dreamt about getting.  In the end, though, as he stands over Starscream, he can't pull the trigger, telling Carly that he's tired of all of it.  It's a devastating moment, seeing a warrior surrender to his grief, just as Optimus did moments earlier.  Johnson really uses these moments — and Thundercracker's grief over Skywarp — to convey just how weary the Transformers all are.  But Starscream is nothing but wily and grabs Carly to facilitate his escape.

Meanwhile, Optimus uses his alternate mode to lead Devastator from the Ark and then transforms to continue kicking his ass.  In a fantastic moment, he uses a charging Devastator's momentum against him and hurls him over his head, where —in possibly the best splash page I've ever seen — he crashes into Starscream.  Cliffjumper manages to grab Carly, who's furious at him for not ending it all by killing Starscream, and the Constructions grab Starscream and flee.

In yet another unforgettable moment, Optimus stops Soundwave and tells him that he just wants them to try to save their home.  Soundwave considers Ravage, whose body he's cradling, and then hurls a punch at Optimus, who tells him that he wants peace but is no fool.  Soundwave watches Optimus wordlessly as Thudercracker carries them into the distance.

As if all that isn't enough, we end with Spike awakening and asking where his dad is.

In other words, it's just a spectacular issue from start to finish.  I've loved the Transformers for a long time, and it's really wonderful to see them treated so well.

The Weatherman, Vol. 3 #3:  LeHeup should've titled this issue:  "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things."

The issue begins in the city of Tharsis on Mars, not exactly where I expected us to be given how we ended last issue.  The Marshal is looking for someone named "the Dream Master."  He shakes down someone to get the Dream Master's location and then finds a strung-out Cross lying between some garbage bags in a back alley.

Later, Cross awakens with a start in a bed in a cabin.  After her initial confusion, she wears a look of shame when she sees the Marshal's boots on a railing outside her window.  She wraps herself in a blanket and heads to look at the inlet the cabin overlooks.  She asks the Marshal how he found her, and he responds, "Redhead nemo junkie gettin' into bar fights so she can lose 'em?  Easiest job I ever had."  She asks where they are, and he tells her that he lived here once with a woman and her son after the service.  He tells her that the woman had a calm way about her and taught him how to see the world in color before, of course, the virus took her and now all he sees is red.

Cross asks the Marshal if Jenner is right, and the Marshal acknowledges that it feels that way sometimes, "bunch'a doomed idiots that can't stop hurtin' cuz they can't stop hurtin.'"  He asks if she really wants to know whether people deserve to die or she does, specifically.  She admits that she can't stop thinking about Nathan and corrects herself to say Ian.  Since she couldn't bring back her son, she broke him, and she admits now she'd do anything to save him.  She then asks why he thinks Nathan stayed alive after Earth, and the Marshal says that he doesn't really now, just that maybe Ian thought he'd gotten a raw deal.  But he notes that this Ian has no hope, which makes him a dangerous man.  But, to the Marshal's mind, if she can find her fight again, she might help Ian find his.

Elsewhere, Burga is discussing the election with her advisor, Jared, and notes that Jenner's Giant Cartoon Doomsday Clock is timed to when Mars will announce the results of its presidential race.  She laments that Councilman Cyrus — a Trumpian figure who "represents the worst of humanity - tribalism, fear-mongering, greed" — is going to win because she hasn't delivered Jenner's head on a platter.  We learn Jenner is after something that is "safely secured inside a top secret Marine base in the heart of the Venusian wasteland."  She comments that, so long as she doesn't get a call that the "something" is no longer "safely secured," they have an election to win.  Then, the phone rings.

At the Venus hypergate, Cross, the Marshal, and White Light are waiting at a traffic jam after some of the hypergate's anchors failed, which means the gate is susceptible to drift.  Their hope is to find Ian's tracker so they can get a read on Jenner's trail.  The Marshal hands Cross some food, and she reacts violently.  The Marshal looks upset, and White Light hilariously writes, "He tried to make something nice!!" on a white board, prompting Cross to tell him that she loves it.  It's an adorable moment in a series with few of them.  Of course, the joy ends instantly when the Marshal asks Cross if she wants seconds and she realizes that a second sample exists (despite Burga telling her that she destroyed it in vol. 2, issue #6).

(Cross makes this realization when she remembers that Djinn told her in issue #1 that Ian wanted to wipe his mind for a "second reason."  Cross (and I) initially thought she meant Sadie (the daughter, not the dog), but, as we see below, Cross realizes that it's because Ian knew where the second bomb was.)

On Venus, Jenner and his team have broken into the facility Burga mentioned.  Ghost is taking on the troops outside while Alice is hacking into the system and Molly, Jenner, and Ian are making their way through the facility.  A dying guard begs Ian to save him and Ian hesitates, only for Jenner to smash his face dramatically, asking Ian who's really innocent.  (When I saw graphically, I mean graphically.  Like, his foot moves in the viscera.)  A guard pumps Jenner's back full of lead, which he somehow expels from his body before killing the guard via electrocution.  Continuing his tirade, Jenner notes that most people are looking for a better world but are "unwilling to sacrifice even the most modest of comforts to achieve it," which I guess means no one is innocent in Jenner's eyes.  

At this point, Alice is using her butterflies to control an engineer to open the vault with the virus.  Jenner notes that Cross lied to Ian — telling him Jenner had the virus sample when he didn't — just to get her revenge.  Jenner says the innocent know they're not innocent once their distractions —their shows, their championships — end.  As he approaches the virus, he says he will end their suffering for real.

As they race to Venus, Cross is screaming at Burga on a call, telling Burga that she told her (Cross) that Burga destroyed the virus and observing that they only have eight hours to save Mars.  LeHeup then connects the dots when he returns to a mystery from last issue, namely why Jenner was so blasé when Ian failed his psych scan.  Cross (correctly) hypothesizes that Ian learned where the second sample was when he stole the first one, but he and Jenner had their "falling out" (i.e., Jenner committed genocide) before Ian told Jenner where it was.  As mentioned above, it's the second reason why Ian wanted to erase his memory.  Since he failed to do so, though, Ian retained that information, which Alice then read.  Burga reinstates Cross, and she, the Marshal, and White Light head to the base.  As Cross says, "[If] we die, we died being awesome."

Hitting the ground, White Light takes on Ghost, who's basically Transor-Z at this point, as Cross heads to the control room and the Marshal to the vault.  White Light transforms their ship again (see vol. 2, issue #5), so we get a fucking awesome Transformers match-up here, which I wasn't expecting.

As Cross enters the base, she sees Ian holding Sadie (the dog) on his shoulders, with Alice noting, "This did not age well.  And you think we're messed up."  (Fair point, honestly, Alice.)  Meanwhile, the Marshal is ready to assassinate Jenner and looks at a locket with photos of, presumably, the woman and her son that he mentioned earlier.  Back in the control room, Alice switches the image that Cross sees to Sadie (the daughter), commenting that Cross has already immersed herself in a horrific reality so she (Alice) didn't need to do anything else.  Alice puts Cross' gun to her (Alice's) head and tells Cross to pull the trigger, but the Marshal observers this development in time as, in reality, Cross has her own gun under her chin (due to Alice's manipulations).  Forgoing taking out Jenner, the Marshal assassinates Alice.  (Cross comments, "Thought you didn't care," and the Marshal responds, "Don't tell White Light.")  Later, Jenner finds the locket that the Marshal left.

Outside, Molly, Jenner, and Ian bolt for their ship as Ghost is handing White Light her ass.  However, White Light lets Ghost attack her ship so she can sneak into Ghost and set off a bomb, destroying him.  Cross shouts at Ian as he and his crew depart, asking him not to do what they're going to do, and Ian stares out her furiously.  Cross, the Marshal, and White Light just watch them go.

It's a fucking ride, y'all.  You know, as I've said before, I'm not sure we're getting a happy ending here.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The January 31 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Pathfinder:  Wake the Dead #5:  Oof.  This series hasn't been a great one.  

We end with the revelation that it was Nyctessa who alerted the party members' organizations to the sleeper agents in their midsts.  However, her plan went awry when Gabsalia died, forcing her to emerge from the shadows to direct events.  Quinn hypothesizes that Nyctessa was also his mysterious employer, though I don't understand why she would've needed her own agent, given Quinn didn't really have any information the other party members didn't.

At any rate, Kuo finds himself sent to the dungeon when his patron, Commander Bheldis, arrives given Bheldis forbade Kuo from implementing his "sleeper agent" plan.  If I'm following correctly, Kuo secretly defied Bheldis in the hopes that the information he gathered from the activated agents would help him usurp Bheldis.  That said, I still don't understand why Nyctessa got involved to stop Kuo's scheme.  Did she really care about Geb that much?  It seems...a stretch.

The team escapes Geb when the annual "Visitation" happens, freezing the city and making it easy for warm-blooded citizens (like the team) to escape.  They all decided to throw in their lot together (except Nyctessa, who stays in Geb), which I don't think Van Lente really sells well, since they never seemed to like one another.

It was interesting visiting this corner of Golarion, but I can't say I particularly enjoyed the characters or plot.  I hope we move onto another team for the next mini-series.

The Space Between #4:  I've liked like series, but Beckho really rushes the ending here.  112 years after the Tumult, we follow two pairs of people working toward opposing outcomes:  one pair is trying to stop resettlement on 'Dice, another one to guarantee it.  

Dr. Sky is treating a boy and realizes she's given him her last aspirin.  (The boy's mother initially doesn't want him to take it because it's been genetically modified, and Sky tells her that it'll be better than anything her kids get on 'Dice.)  She calls the requisition folks, but her communicator is on the fritz so she's forced to go downstairs herself.  She speaks to a man named Koa, who's rude to her after she's curt with him.  She demands a new communicator on top of the aspirin, and he tells her that she'll have to wait until someone dies since the Dodona mined its last metal the previous year.  

An announcement interrupts their fight and encourages everyone to go to a window screen to see the first image of 'Dice.  Koa sees Sky in the park and quips that he's surprised she isn't too busy to pause for the view.  Sky confesses to Koa that she doesn't believe they should leave the Dodona, which seems to be a pretty treasonous thing to confess to a guy who doesn't like you (and whom you don't like either).  It turns out Koa agrees, and he's been looking for an "upper" who supports his pro-Dodona view.  Sky says that humanity has always fixed problems, so they can fix the Dodona.  

I admit this argument makes no sense to me.  You've exhausted all your natural resources but somehow you're going to manage to survive while floating endlessly in space?  Sky's reasoning seems to be that humanity will have to start over on 'Dice, as if the resourcefulness that she previously mentioned wouldn't apply there.

Meanwhile, Auld and his colleague Hope, both navigators, explain to the Council that they only have one shot at landing on 'Dice, as they're going to have to burn all their fuel reserves to slow down enough to make orbital insertion possible.  Auld and Hope are outraged when the Council seems inclined not to land, and they later overhear some people fighting in the hallway over it.  Folks on all sides seem to hate the navigators:  one blames them for not doing their jobs in the first place (though they clearly corrected the problem from issue #3 sufficiently so I'm not sure what this person's point really is) and the other for making landing possible (though that's their job so I don't get that argument either).

In a garden, Auld and Hope discuss how to make people want to leave the Dodona.  Since they can't land as planned, they'll need to enter 'Dice's orbit and then send down life rafts to the surface.  Auld suggests poisoning the algae tanks, but Hope objects since it'll kill the animals, too.  (There's a weird blip in the conversation here, where Auld objects to Hope's use of the term "sugarcat" when referring to his pet — seemingly a hybrid of the escaped cats and flying squirrels, named Mabel — but Hope doesn't actually use this term in their conversation.)  Auld realizes that they can just make it look like they poisoned the tanks; by the time the others realize the truth, the Dodona'll be locked in orbit.

Before going that route, Auld and Hope try to convince people the Dodona is dying, but Koa isn't buying it and, in fact, threatens violence if they try to land on 'Dice.  In the end, the Council calls for a vote where more than half the ship's residents vote not to land.  

Auld tells Hope that he'll have to commit suicide to make it convincing that the O2 is poisoned, and the two implements their plan.  The sirens blare, and Sky follows Koa to the purification node.  They find a dead Hope — who joined Auld in committing suicide, possibly due to the feelings she realized she had for him — and a dying Auld.  Koa confirms the algae is fine and Auld and Hope just changed the data to set off the alarms.  Auld then asks Koa to take care of Mabel, which he does, which is weird, because he doesn't really seem that guy.  

Koa contemplates Mabel and tells Sky that he's had a change of heart and is ready to leave "home."  Beckho doesn't make clear why Koa suddenly changed his mind; he just states what was obvious all along, that, as Sky said, humanity can overcome any problems it encounters.  The issue ends with Sky addressing the crowd of residents who arrive on 'Dice via the life rafts, with the Dodona now 'Dice's moon.

In the previous issue, Beckho did a great job of moving us through these large philosophical concepts while still focusing on characterization, but, here, the characters are really just vehicles to advance the plot.  I would've liked to see what she could've done with a few more issues, giving her the space to really develop characters.   At it stands, I can't really say I recommend this series, but it was interesting at least.

ThunderCats #1:  I was going to list this one as an "Also Read."  Shavley does a great job of capturing the characters' voices, to the point where it reads like you're watching the '80s cartoon show.  But it results in an issue that isn't that complex.  Of course, then Slithe shatters the Sword of Omens and Mumm-Ra somehow summons Jaga's spirit, and I was like, OK, game on, Declan.

The Weatherman, Vol. 3 #2:  Oof.  As I mentioned last issue, LeHeup's genius here is that you really, really don't know whose side you want Ian to join.  Every time we get insight into this reality's status quo, it's one more point in Jenner's favor.

The issue begins with Ian arriving at Hera's Hope (Frontier Colony 62A) on Venus.  Fox gets the details right here, portraying Venus in a way that makes it clear why this hostile environment produced Jenner (as we learn later in the issue).  Humanity has yet to finish encasing Venus in orbital solar panels, and Hera's Hope exists in a barren desert landscape, like an overcrowded Mos Eisley.

Ian heads straight for a bar, where he finds Metal Molly, a cyborg member of the Sword of God.  She suggests they take a ride in Ghost, "a digital consciousness [who] projects a holographic memory of his physical self over a set of free-floatin' tactical drones."  An hour later, Ian and Molly arrive at a camp where she introduces a guy "named Wilma with an ex-wife, two loving sons, and a job in molecular advertising."  Wilmo is chained to a chair, and Molly wants Ian to kill him to show he's the same "stone-cold-killer" he was.

In a flashback to a week ago, a scientists walks Nathan through shooting a hog as Zane tells him that humanity is counting on him to infiltrate the Sword.  They tell Nathan that he has to shoot the hog since he'll likely have to shoot a human to prove his bona fides to the Sword.  Nathan does it, to Zane's delight.  On Venus, we see that Ian has killed the guy, blood splattered on his face.

On Burga's transport ship, Dr. Argus informs Cross that Nathan has "dissociative fugue."  Ian didn't need to have Dr. Nyseth wipe his mind because his trauma was so great and his need to escape himself so profound that he created Nathan on his own.  Argus hypothesizes that the training they've given Nathan likely made the Ian personality - previously deeply buried in Nathan's psyche - reemerge.  He believes "Nathan" is likely now Ian and Nathan combined.

Zane informs Cross that the tracker they implanted into Nathan's arm allows them to see all his movements and everything he sees.  Once Nathan sees Jenner, they'll order an orbital missile strike.  Someone notes that Nathan'll likely have a to pass a second loyalty test, namely "Alice's" psychic screening.  Zane hypothesizes that he'll be more likely to pass the test if Ian has reemerged, since he'll also keep the virtual memories they implanted to help him pass the test.  (In vol. 2, issue #6, LeHeup explains that they're using the Pearl's fantasy-murder tech to create a past for Ian.)  Argus worries that a reemerged Ian might not share their cause.

In another flashback, Cross asks Nathan if he's sure he wants to do what they're proposing.  She warns him that it's unlikely that he's going to succeed.  Nathan comments that Jenner'll just finish what he started if Nathan doesn't try.  Plus, he feels like he owes humanity one.  Then, in the best possible distillation of Nathan's personal philosophy, he says:  "Without people we wouldn't have ice cream, karate chops, doin' it, power chords, funky grandmas, 'the Worm'...if going away means more people get to experience that same joy I have...then I'm okay with that."  Cross asks if he's scared, and he says that he is.  But he says that he's getting "used to the fact that everyone else is supposed to be here...and I'm not."  You're a gem, Nathan Bright.

Zane wakes up Cross when Ghost arrives with Ian and Molly at Sword's base, where Ian meet Alice, who is totally bat shit crazy.  Alice confirms that Ian was living as a weatherman on Mars before the M.S.A. sent him undercover, which she acknowledges she almost missed because Mars' memory masks are getting harder to spot.  Alice exposits that Ian remembered everything about his past once he shot "the normie."  At this point, the camera turns, and we learn that Alice is talking to Jenner.  Dun-dun-DUN!  It's like a jump scare.

On her ship, Burga orders the strike, but Cross tries to convince her that she can't.  Zane says Nathan knew what he was doing, but Cross — not incorrectly — notes that Ian didn't.  Zane isn't particularly sympathetic towards Ian, but Cross reminds her that he wasn't a terrorist —he was trying to destroy the "extinction-level weapon" that humanity itself created.  Burga interrupts and says that they have to bring Jenner to justice.  Cross insists that they can't sacrifice Ian for politics, and Burga tells her that she could've found out the information about Ian's past before they sent him undercover but didn't.  She asks why she didn't, and Cross doesn't respond.  Burga again orders the hit, telling Cross that she (Burga) didn't kill Ian — Cross did.  She then relieves Cross of duty.

On Venus, Jenner greats Ian, who immediately threatens to kill him.  Jenner tells Ian that he's counting on him doing so but only after the conclusion of the mission.  Jenner then asks Ian if he hears the "wail of the Venusian wind."  He explains that he grew up listening to it, as he and his mother were poor, surviving on trade and what they could grow in the freezing temperatures.  He describes the unbearable isolation and unceasing wind, which eventually drove his mother insane — she walked into the desert one night to die. 

Jenner then gives us his political manifesto, and he's...not wrong.  He opines that humanity's survival depends on a healthy environment, but humanity destroys it anyway.  As people, we want to be heard but don't listen, we push our pain onto people we don't understand, we would destroy our world before we would see our foes' prosper.  He describes these flaws as "terminal deficiencies."  Ian tells Jenner that he (Jenner) killed his daughter, and Jenner wonders how may daughters Ian has killed.  (Fair point.)  Ian asks what Jenner wants, and he tells Ian that this time he wants Ian to help him save humanity from itself.

On Burga's ship, Cross commanders a smaller ship and makes a run for Venus as the Marshal watches from his ship.  On Venus, Ian uses a rusty mattress spring to pick his cell lock and break free.  He enters Jenner's hut, where Jenner is meditating.  Ian raises a knife and...jams it into his forearm.  

The missile strike destroys the camp, and the M.S.A.'s soldiers later find Ian's tracking device in the rubble, confirming that Ian joined Jenner.

In other words, it's a spectacular issue.  I can't recommend this series enough.  It was totally worth the wait between volumes.