Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The October 16 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Captain America #15:  Coates really isn't making it easy for Steve.  After the Watchdogs raid last issue, Steve and the Daughters of Liberty are reviewing what they know, and Steve recognizes Alexa Lukin as one of the Power Elite members.  Steve asks who the Daughters have tracking Alexa, and the Daughters respond that they have their best agent on it...but they won't tell Steve who it is.  Steve then takes Sharon to a separate room, and he's furious at her for keeping secrets.  But, she rightly throws that argument right back at him, noting that he's always kept secrets and she's always the one waiting.  Steve leaves in a huff to go meet Bernie after she contacts him about a cop who asked for Steve's help before someone killed him.  As Steve leaves to take the case, Bernie warns him that New York isn't the same place that it used to be.  She isn't just talking about the Kingpin as mayor, but about New York as part of the larger "something ugly" happening in the entire country.  When he goes to the address that the dead cop provided to Bernie, Steve discovers that Misty and Spider-Woman already there, fighting Watchdogs.  After helping them win the fight, he comments that their friends in the police department would love to get a shot at the Watchdogs, and Misty responds that she doesn't have many friends left in the Department.  Steve takes her point later as they review the video that the dead cop left, of a bunch cops entering a warehouse and Scourge killing all of them.  Scourge working with the Watchdogs who themselves are working for the Power Elite:  Coates is definitely telling a story here. My only complaint is that it's starting to feel like we've taken a lot of turns down alleys and I'm not quite sure how we find the boulevard again.  I'm not saying that it's impossible, but we may want to head back that way soon.

Guardians of the Galaxy #10:  Cates explains how Kid Magus exists in this reality, and he does a pretty solid job of keeping it entertaining.  Kid Magus explains that he was originally entrusted to Gamora but he needed someone to deal with his "darker impulses" better.  So, Gamora went to take care of Rocket as he "lay dying in [his] hovel," and the Order of the Healing Truth, a bunch of ex-Universal Church of Truth followers seeking to right the Church's wrongs, took in Magus.  Of course, they came to see him as one of those wrong and intended to kill him, resulting in him killing all of them and becoming the monster that they feared that he'd become.  He eventually became friends with a group of sandworm-esque monsters who lived near the Order's HQ.  (They hilariously act like dogs, with Groot rubbing one's belly as Kid Magus tells his story.)  Rocket recruits Magus to freak out the Church long enough for him, Groot, and Moondragon to rescue their friends, and Magus agrees because he's "bored."  Although this issue mostly just sets up the slugfest to come, what a slugfest it seems like it's going to be!

Journey to Star Wars:  The Rise of Skywalker - Allegiance #2:  I enjoyed this issue because Leia is forced to confront a lot of uncomfortable truths.  First, the team's raid on Mon Cala in the main "Star Wars" series was one of the highlights of that run.  But, Sacks reminds us here of the price that the Mon Calan residents paid for their mutiny, as many of the king's advisors loathe Leia for the pain and torture that their families suffered in the mutiny's wake.  Moreover, one of the Mon Calans points out that Leia's father (i.e., Darth Vader) is the one who engaged in said torture, something you definitely don't see mentioned often.  At some point, you start to side with the angry Mon Calans:  Leia really does have some nerve asking for more help from them.  But, I'm guessing that Leia will remind them that none of them really has much of a choice if they don't want to live under the First Order's thumb.  The Finn and Poe story is a fun distraction, though I'll admit that I find the Rey and Rose story tedious.  Sacks portrays Rey as little more than a female Luke Skywalker from the first film, whining about how bored she is, and his Rose is so nervous that I wonder if they don't have anti-anxiety medicine in space.

The Realm #15:  This issue is great.  It's a wordless romp as Shirtless Bear Fighter -- I mean, Ben -- escapes from the goblins' clutches and tries to escape Johnny's cathedral of evil.  He makes it to the exit, even past Johnny (thanks to some well timed grenades), only to utter "Fuck me" -- the issue's only words -- when he realizes that he has to go through the dragon stables.  Ha!  I'm totally bummed that the guys haven't published another issue in almost six months, but I guess that I'm current at least?  Still, we've got a lot of pieces on the board at this point...

X-Men #1:  This issue is more Hickmanesque than we've seen so far, but I'm still OK with it.

He begins with Magneto, Polaris, Scott, and Storm striking at Orchis' last outpost on Earth and in so doing freeing a group of mutant children who Orchis was holding in stasis.  Scott and Storm's conversation as they make their way through the base is particularly Hickmanesque as he also entirely forgoes any attempt to make it sound conversational.  For example, Scott says to Storm:  "For years we've endured small wins.  We've called incremental change 'progress' when what we've really needed was a giant leap forward.  Well, this is it."  It's particularly striking that he takes the time to mansplain recent mutant history to her as they fight their way through the base.

At any rate, the team is surprised when they come upon a posthuman girl from the future in one of the stasis tubes.  She looks like a photograph negative, with stark black skin and stark white hair.  She initially commands Storm not to see her, which fails.  She seems to have some sort of powers, but they're not working the way that they presumably would because she emerged before she was "fully cooked."  But, she says that "wild gods" are loose in the world, so she says that she had no choice.  She disappears, and the team returns with the rescued mutants to Krakoa.

While Dr. Reyes examines the new arrivals, throngs of children greet Magneto, eager to hear his stories. Polaris and Scott share a moment over it, with Scott reminding her how long they've all waited for him to find this sort of redemption.  Scott then talks about how scared he was when he had Nathan because he knew that he'd suffer for his heritage.  Scott was right, but he says that he's so happy that he held in there because he now has his family.  He isn't just speaking idly, either.  The resurrection team has brought back Vulcan, and the extended Summers clan -- Scott, Alex, Vulcan, Nathan, Rachel -- as well as Jean and Logan now live on the Moon, since Scott wanted a view.  (Heh.)  We're treated to these family dynamics because Corsair has come for a visit.  Hickman essentially reinvents Vulcan here, as we've only ever seen him as a totally unhinged experiment gone insane.  Hickman's Vulcan is all self-conscious teenager, as he has no idea how he's supposed to act in social situations.  But, we see flashes of humor from him, like when he's barbecuing steaks with Logan, and I'm excited in particular to watch him develop.  We also have Nate calling Jean "Mom" as he asks if he can trade guns with Raza when he learns that Raza's guns have antimatter rounds, and Alex and Scott giving Corsair a Krakoan gate so he can always visit.  As Scott said to Polaris, they've all waited a long time for this moment.

But, the main conversation is the one that Scott has with Corsair.  Scott is bouncing on his toes throughout this issue, so happy to be in the place that he is.  Corsair expresses his concern that this whole endeavor puts a target on them, but Scott convincingly (to me, anyway) argues that history proves that they've always had a target on their backs, so he's decided to focus on what makes him want to live with said target.  It's a nice moment.  I mean, it's obviously not going to last, but if I'm glad for anything about Hickman's reboot it's getting a happy Scott for, like, the first time ever.

The other main story here is that we're introduced to a new Orchis leader, Director Devo.  We learn that he was in transit to the Forge when the X-Men destroyed Mother Mold.  He's surprised that Dr. Gregor didn't attend her husband's funeral, but she explains that his legacy is in her work.  Plus, she reveals that her work has led her to the point where she believes that she can resurrect him.  Dun-dun-DUN!  If humans have the same resurrection technology as the mutants, it obviously changes the game significantly, particularly in terms of the mutants' "no killing humans because they can't be resurrected" policy.

Hickman plants some other seeds of future storylines here.  One theme throughout the issue is how tired Storm is, though Hickman initially portrays it as exhaustion from working so hard.  But, it's possible that something else is afoot.  Magneto allegedly took out the Orchis scientists (who turned themselves into apes to fight the X-Men) by asserting his dominance so they turned on each other, but I'm not sure if we're supposed to believe that he didn't kill them.  Finally, I feel like Vulcan's return highlights how liberally we're taking the amnesty.  After all, I imagine he killed thousands of people when he was the mad Shi'ar Emperor.  Won't someone object to his and other mutants' crimes at some point, especially once the kumbaya feelings start to fade?

All in all, it's a solid start to the story that Hickman is actually telling.  We'll see how the other series build on this one, but I was glad to see Hickman leaning on the structure that he built in "House of X" and "Powers of X" but also not dwelling on it too much.  I think that this reboot has the best chance of sticking if it becomes less about the world-building and more about the stories that Hickman and the other authors want to tell in this world. This issue shows that Hickman believes that, too, so I think that we're in a good place.

Not-Even-Remotely New Comics: The July 31 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Captain America #12:  Coates finishes the opening chapter of the epic story that he's telling as Steve finally makes his way to Sharon.  It isn't exactly a happy reunion, though.  Sharon makes Steve realize that the Power Elite has successfully introduced enough doubt about whether Steve actually was the Supreme Commander to make Captain America a damaged symbol.  Moreover, even if people didn't believe the Power Elite, Steve is forced to acknowledge that there's no "captain" without America.  This statement really picks up nicely on Spencer's work on the title, as Sam experienced what it was like to hold the shield when America isn't exactly the unifying concept that it used to be.  In the end, Steve become Steve Rogers, Super-Solider once again.  It's a great choice on Coates' part:  no gimmicks, no costumes, just Steve.  Sharon is right when she says that it's what America needs to see, and I'm looking forward to Steve and the Daughters of Liberty taking the fight to the Power Elite.  I'm also excited to learn more about Aunt Peggy, who I had assumed was the Black Widow.  Surprise!

Powers of X #1:  Hickman is brilliant in this issue, and, if you've read this blog for a long time, you know that it's a lot for me to say that.  This issue is as perfect as I can imagine one being.

The issue starts with a conversation between Charles and (allegedly) Moira back in the day, a period that Hickman dubs X0.  From the start, it's clear that something isn't right:  Charles doesn't recognize Moira, and I'm pretty sure that they didn't originally meet on a park bench at a fair.  Moira describes for Charles the characters on three tarot cards that a fortune teller showed her:  the Magician, the Tower, and the Devil.  She then reveals that she does in fact know who Charles is even though he doesn't know who she is.  She tells him that he does know who she is and that he should read her mind.  We end this interlude with him expressing surprise as he does.

Two of the characters on the cards appear in a future set 100 years from X0, which Hickman calls X2.  (The present is X1.)  One character, the Magician, is clearly meant to be Kitty and Peter's daughter; her nom de guerre is Rasputin.  She's both a metal metamorph and phaser and possesses a sword that looks a lot like the Soulsword.  The other character, the Devil, is clearly meant to be Nightcrawler's son; his nom de guerre is the Cardinal.  He's described on the card as the "red god and the lost cardinal of the last religion."  

When we meet Rasputin and the Cardinal, she is trying to save a fellow mutant named Clyobel whereas the Cardinal is trying to convince Rasputin to abandon Cloybel.  He's trying to use a "black seed of Krakoa" to create a portal and leave the area before the Sentinels and Hellfire Club henchmen capture all of them.  Rasputin derides him as a coward and leaps into action.  She comes close to holding off the Sentinels but ultimately fails in saving Cloybel, who the henchmen capture.  The Cardinal manages to open the portal and escape with Rasputin to Asteroid K, where older version of Groot (?), Magneto, Wolverine, and Xorn await them.  We learn that the Cardinal and Rasputin stole something from Nimrod's mainframe, but we don't know what yet.

We then learn "the Tower," described on the card as "the pillar of collapse and rebirth," is Nimrod's tower, the headquarters of the Man-Machine Supremacy that rules X2.  Nimrod puts Cloybel into a "bath" that apparently merges her with an AI consciousness that he's created to catalogue mutant consciousnesses in an attempt to understand "the mutant anomaly."

In X3 (set 1,000 years from X0), Clobel is still in suspension.  We learn the human-machine-mutant war has ended with the extermination of humankind.  It's almost the reverse of X2, where we learn that only eight mutants remain on Earth:  the remainder are refugees in the Shi'ar Imperium, living either on a converted transport station or on Chandilar to become fodder for the even expansionary Shi'ar.

These sequences obviously raise a lot of questions as they unfold, and Hickman brilliantly uses perfectly timed interstitial pages to answer at least some of them.  Just as I'm noting to myself that everyone in X2 are making it sound like mutants are bred not born, Hickman explains.  At some point in the future, the mutant population hit a crisis point and the "evasion-relocation-confrontation cycle" made stabilizing it impossible.  (Ha!  I love this description.  It's like Murphy having the Joker in "Batman:  Curse of the White Knight" uncover that Gotham elites were profiting off the destruction that Batman's crusade against crime caused.  It's so rare that we address something so directly in comics.)  We also learn that all senior leaders disappeared in an event called "the Betrayal."

With their backs against the wall, the remaining leadership supports Sinister creating breeding pits on Mars to recover the mutant population, which he does by creating mutants with specific militaristic abilities.  The first generation of the Chimera program just had one single X-gene; they were used as fodder to protect Krakoa.  For the second generation, Sinister spliced together two X-genes.  By the third one, he was splicing together as many as five X-genes to get the outcomes that he wanted.  For example, Rasputin is apparently part Phoenix (Quentin), Colossus, Unus the Untouchable (thanks, internet!), Shadowcat, and X-23.  We later learn that the Cardinal is part of the ten percent of the third generation who rejected their programming:  they became obsessed with creation myths and peace and rejected personal identities.  They all call themselves the Cardinal, and they form the religious class of mutantkind.

However, we're still dealing with Sinister here, so it isn't surprising when we learn that he engingeered the Betrayal by introducing a flaw into the fourth generation.  A group of Omega-based mutants with a "corrupted hive mind" destroyed 40 percent of the remaining mutant population and brought about the fall of Krakoa as well as the destruction of Mars as they collapsed themselves into a self-singularity.  Hilariously, Sinister's betrayal, changing sides to support the Man-Machine Supremacy, went poorly for him:  it later executed him.  Ha!  Hickman's brilliance is on display throughout this sequence when he builds tension not just with the normal scenes but also with these interstitial pages.  For example, the first one simply explains the breeding process and alludes to the Betrayal.  The second one describes the destruction that the fourth generation causes.  It isn't until the third page that he reveals that Sinister created the destruction on purpose.

We later learn that Cloybel wasn't part of Sinister's breeding pits:  the Man-Machine Supremacy created her as part of a Hounds breeding program.  It's why one of the Hellfire Club henchman initially describes her as a "black brain telepath -- a natural Judas."  (Again, Hickman first hints at the fact that the Man-Machine Supremacy had its own breeding program with this comment, only confirming it with an interstitial page later.)

In other words, whoa.  Hickman puts a lot on the table here and it's frankly a lot to absorb.  But, as he promised, it injects an energy into the X-books that we haven't seen in a long time.  He's set a high bar for himself here, as he has a lot of plates spinning in the air that he has to safely guide to the ground if he's going to stick this landing.  (Hi, mixed metaphors!)  But, if he manages to do so, what a landing it will be!

The Realm #14:  This series has always been more than its post-apocalyptic "Dungeons & Dragons comes to Earth!" setting, and this issue is a great example of that.  Peck reveals that a psychophage has taken over Jacob and Ellen's son Brian; it is slowly consuming Brian's body as it takes over his conscience.  (Rook only escaped its psychic hold by breaking her finger.)  Molly and Rook try to convince Jacob and Ellen to let them kill it, but they refuse.  Even more heartbreakingly, they acknowledge that it may go onto consume them.  Jacob notes that it's the only thing left of Brian in this world, and, when they go, they'll go as a family.  Maybe it's because I'm a new dad, but, man, this one hit me between the eyes.  Molly and Rook try to argue with Will when he orders them to leave, but he tells them that it's Jacob and Ellen's choice to make.  Honestly, I didn't even think twice before realizing that I'd make the same one.  This issue really draws a line under the horror this new reality has been for everyday people, and, as such, I think that it's the best issue of the series so far.

Also Read:  Conan the Barbarian #8

Not-Very-New Comics: The March 27 Non-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Detective Comics #1,000:  For the fact this issue is 96 pages, it's largely forgettable.  I don't mean that in a nasty way.  Like, it's fine.  But, I can't say any of these stories really rise above your average "anniversary issue" fare.

Some of them were way too heavy handed, like "Manufacture for Use," where Batman finds the gun used to kill his parents and melts it down to use as the insignia on his Batsuit, and "Return to Crime Alley," where Denny O'Neil, for reasons that aren't clear to me, embitters his own "There Is No Hope in Crime Alley!" to make Leslie Thompkins loathe Bruce for the violence that he commits.

Some were fine but obvious, like the "Legend of Knute Brody," where it was clear the Bat-family was acting as the incompetent titular henchman.  Others were fine but light, like "The Precedent," where Bruce half-heartedly worries about taking on Dick as Robin given the precedent it'll set for other kids.  (Dick wisely notes Bruce himself is the precedent.)  "Batman's Greatest Case" should've been lovely, with Bruce gathering the Bat-family for a photo to show his parents, but Bruce inexplicably doesn't speak or tell anyone what they're doing; it's just unnecessarily vague.

Some made little sense or didn't seem to go anywhere.  "Batman's Longest Case" inducts Batman into the "Guild of Detection," a group for detectives looking into the universe's most complicated unsolved cases.  It took years for Bruce to solve the case that leads to his induction, and he (understandably) wonders why it took so long.  The guildmaster, "Slam Bradley," simply implies that he's still a young man (despite the Question also being a member).  "The Batman's Design" has Batman using various metahuman enhancements to chase a group of villains into a warehouse that he's rigged to take out each member, which...doesn't seem like his modus operandi at all.  (It's a shame, too, because I love Warren Ellis.)  Christopher Priest continues to be just downright bizarre with "Heretic," where a kid steals Bruce Wayne's wallet in Lhasa years ago and somehow comes to love capitalism so thus runs an underground railroad to help initiates like him escape the League of Assassins.  (Yeah, it made no sense to me.)

The best story to my mind was "I Know" by Bendis (of all people), where the future Penguin gets a surprise when he tells a paralyzed Bruce Wayne that he knew all along that he was Batman.  The "Last Crime in Gotham" by Johns hits probably the most emotional note, if you can get past the truly awful art, as Bruce wishes for his nearest and dearest to him to solve the last crime in Gotham, as committed by the Joker's dying son.

The least interesting was the most relevant.  "Medieval" introduces the Arkham Knight, who clearly isn't Jason in this iteration.  After so many random stories, though, it's lost in the shuffle.  Again, this issue wasn't bad, but for the price tag, it didn't really clear the bar DC set for itself.

The Realm #12-#13:  Not a lot happens in these two issues, as they mostly involve adversaries and potential adversaries circling one another.  But, it's fun to watch the dance.

The party arrives at Jacob's, but it's pretty clear that he and his wife, Ellen, aren't running the same type of establishment as Everett.  Although Will seems to trust Jacob somewhat in issue #12, in issue #13 he more clearly views Jacob as a means to an end (i.e., weapons) and not an ally.  Peck makes that even more clear when Jacob comments how his son Brian is bringing up supplies from the South, but Will correctly notes Jacob previously said that Brian was up North.  Meanwhile, Molly offers to help Ellen with the chores, but she refuses, taking the laundry into an underground fall-out shelter that suspiciously glows green.  Rook watches her leave the shelter later and enters, seeing something that causes her to open her eyes as the green glow reflects off her.

In terms of the bad guys, the party that Johnny Eldritch sent to find Will finds Everett instead, and I'm not sure if Everett and his already battered charges are going to survive.  The goblin and his partner (who I only vaguely recognized) run across a guy who tells them that Redjaw and his party moved through the area a little while ago, and the goblin agrees to his partner's request to "kill Bunny."  Meanwhile, Johnny assures Neera that he's on top of the search for the "key."  We learn from Neera that three pieces of the key are still missing, including one that David is obviously carrying.  Later, Bearded Guy comes close to killing Redjaw but Johnny appears suddenly and knocks out Beard Guy.  He then pulls both of them through his portal.

Back at the farm, David gives Will a modified version of the amulet that the "Spider-Guy" used against him, which should help him control the monster inside him.  (I'm glad to see David helping after swiping the amulet and not plotting something.  Though, the jury is probably still deliberating on that front.)  David leaves, and Molly and Will proceed to get drunk, as Will promises to tell her the story of the monster inside him if she explains their quest.  We learn that they're headed to Kansas City because Dr. Burke worked at a facility where they were researching the Breach.  He had an artifact and a notebook that he was trying to get to the team in Kansas City, and, again, it's pretty clear the artifact is at least one of the parts of the key.  The fact that we're in issue #13 at this point and learn that all this effort Eldritch and Neera are expending is for just one part of the key gives you a sense of how large of a story Peck is telling.  Anyway, we learn David was really just Burke's assistant, so he's not 100% clear on what Burke learned. 

All in all, I'm still fascinating with where we're going here. 

Transformers #2:  Ruckley goes to great lengths to show how upsetting Brainstorm's death is to all the Transformers who learn of it.  Chromia, Cybertron's security chief, arrives at the station with Prowl, Cybertron's best investigator.  After a cursory search for clues, they're stumped.  Chromia seems to think that it's the Rise, who we learn are the more extreme form of the Ascenticons.  (It's interesting that Megatron doesn't seem to be leading the extremist wing; I wonder who is.  Starscream?)  Meanwhile, Prowl takes Windblade to task for not more thoroughly interrogating the Voin scavengers who she and Bumblebee earlier encountered.  Chromia sends Bumblebee and Rubble to Wheeljack, where they get to watch the wonder of Cybertron's winged moon unfurl.  We learn that someone named Termagax created it; in his speech on Tarn, Megatron describes her as the first Ascenticon.  He exposits that she called for an end to the Nominus Edict, which requires kilocycles between forgings and energon rations.  Earlier, Bumblebee said that he heard the moon isn't the most efficient way to harvest energon, and Ruckley seems to be implying here that Termagax may have been overly optimistic in her thinking about how much development Cybertron and the Transformers could experience without negative impacts.  As Orion Pax predicted in a call with Chromia, events start to unfurl when a mysterious assassin opens fire on Megatron.  In the background of all these events, Ruckley also seems to be advancing a xenophobic narrative, from Prowl's hostility towards the Voin to the introduction of the Skitters.  I can't say I'm enthralled with this series at this point, but we'll see where we go.

Not-Very-New Comics: The February 27 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  X-Tremists #1:  This issue is bizarre mostly because I just don't understand what we're supposed to believe about Bobby.  He seems either seriously mentally ill or intellectually limited here.  He has a running gag with Jubilee about whether wax paper is the same as a baking sheet, and I can't for the life of me figure out why Williams included it.  Is it because he himself has been reprogrammed so many times it's broken him?  Plus, he's pretty chummy with Jubilee, which seems like a no-no.  Also, why are they baking "thank-you cookies" for the X-Men?  Isn't saying thanks a form of intimacy?  I can't tell if this issue is supposed to be this bizarre or if Williams is just throwing random stuff at us to see if it sticks.  The main tension of this mini-series appears to be the fact one of the "'grades" the X-Tremists capture is pregnant, presenting them with a moral conundrum they've never previously faced.  But, if the next four issues are like this one, I'm not sure I can enough to see how they resolved it.

Captain America #8:  This issue couldn't be better.  First, Coates uses Steve's narration to let us know we're in the dark before the dawn.  I didn't realize we needed that, but we did.  Coates is telling us to have faith in Steve, at a time when no one has faith in Steve.  It feels conspiratorial, a reminder we, the fans, will be rewarded for our faith.  America may have turned its back on Steve, but damn if we will.  Sharon also hasn't turned her back on Steve, and she's as masterful here as she always is.  She shakes down the Kingpin for information, wisely intuiting that Kingpin might've allowed Alexa to knock off Ross in his New York but he wouldn't be happy about sharing the stage with a new upstart villain.  He provides her the information she wants, that the Foreigner killed Ross.  Meanwhile, Steve sits in von Strucker's prison, with the Wrecking Crew telling him to take his moralizing and shove it.  Sure, they killed people but Steve did, too, with all his inspirational speeches.  Steve insists inspiring people isn't murder, but Piledriver tells him to ask Rick Jones about that.  (Ouch.)  While Steve realizes he needs a new name, Alexa secures a presidential pardon for Other Steve.  It's a particularly clever moment, because it's the third leg of the stool of corruption Coates is building her:  Kingpin as mayor of New York, a pardoned von Strucker running a prison, a pardoned Other Steve in the wild.  Coates is pretty openly commenting on our era of the grift, and he does so perfectly.  But, he also reminds us the villains might've overplayed their hand, and it feels like we see that when Alexa and Selene do something to turn Other Steve into a monster.  At first, I thought they would just use his face to make things worse for Steve.  Deciding to turn him into a monster seems a bad call.  I can't wait to see how it all unfolds.  I don't know if "Captain America" has ever been better, and that's a high bar considering how amazing it's been since Remender's days.

Detective Comics #999:  It's pretty fucking ballsy for Tomasi to reveal the last few issues have all been a simulation Batman runs every year on his birthday, a way of forcing himself to be the best he can be by sending his own self to try to kill him.  But, you know what?  I kind of buy it.  I normally hate these sorts of issues, but Tomasi sells through the dialogue, as Bruce's doppelgänger reminds him how he sacrificed himself so other children could have the childhood he didn't.  Tomasi even goes one better as Bruce takes out his surrogate parents, Leslie and Alfred, for dinner.  It follows the theme of "Batman Annual #3 (the "Father's Day" issue), turning a terribly brutal arc into a somewhat uplifting one.

The Flash #65:  Ugh.  Williamson had a good thing going when he focused on Bruce's relationship with Gotham Girl, but he jettisons that quickly here, presumably forced by management to focus on Barry and Bruce's "Heroes in Crisis" conflict.  It goes...poorly.  I don't for a minute believe Bruce would raise to Barry's bait as quickly as he does here, and I definitely don't believe he'd criticize him so cruelly for forgetting Wally existed.  But, "Heroes in Crisis" is apparently all about overwrought melodrama, so I'm at least glad I haven't subjected myself to it.  Along the way to this moment, Batman and Flash somehow miraculously save Claire, resurrecting her after she dies from the "super Venom" overloading her system.  You'd figure she'd be dead-dead, given she burns up her life energy every time she uses her power.  Instead, they just administer super-powered CPR, which somehow does the trick.  Also, she conveniently doesn't remember who gave her the "super Venom."

The Realm #11:  This issue is one of the most interesting of the series despite nothing really happening.

In terms of the main two storylines, we the start the issue with a trio of scarred humanoids escorting Redjaw and his companion back to Johnny.  (Haun only vaguely shows their faces, so I can't tell if they're actually human.)  One of the humanoids keeps running his mouth about how injured Redjaw looks.  While Redjaw's companion tells him to drop it, the humanoid hypothesizes Redjaw's too wounded to take back a portal, which is why Johnny sent the trio to collect them.  Redjaw has enough, leaps off his horse, and beats the humanoid to death.  I assume the remaining two humanoids will be quiet for the trip.  Meanwhile, we see Ben is in pursuit of the party.  Turning our attention to our party, Eli informs Will and Molly they're running low on supplies, and Will says he knows a guy near where they'll meet Rook who runs a farm where they can restock and trade.  Molly suggests Will tells them about his arm then, suggesting they put all their cards on the table.  Will responds by suggesting they tell him what David is carrying, to which Molly simply replies, "Fair enough."  Later, David discovers the symbol on the amulet the master used to restrain the monster inside Will is in one of the spellbooks that they swiped; he gives Will a curious look.  Elsewhere, Rook kills a pair of goblins who kidnapped a fairy, freeing it, before reuniting with the party.

But, the issue really gets interesting at this point, because Peck starts showing us other events happening in this world.  Mac and his party kill a bar full of patrons, arranging them in a circle so Mac can summon Johnny in one of the dead bodies.  Meanwhile, the Red Queen vomits all sorts of red fluid into a man, and he turns completely red like she is.  In his wanderings, he then infects another man, and they go their separate ways.  According to the Comixology intro to this issue, they're hunting for Will.  Interesting, they looked very normal, like you could've easily found them in a coffee shop in Williamsburg.

This issue and issue #10 are perfect examples of pet peeve #1:  their covers don't show what happens inside.  But, interestingly, the elephant-like creature that appeared on the cover of last issue appears briefly here, in one panel, though it seems like the rest of the party can't see him (despite looking in his direction).

West Coast Avengers #8:  I know I say it every month, but "West Coast, Best Coast!"  I love that the Skrulls are really vampires.  I mean, it's so old-school "West Coast Avengers."  That's exactly the sort of thing I'd expect to happen to them.  Also, they're not just vampires, but vampires using a Scientology-esque "religion" as a front.  It's so Los Angeles!  Man, I love this series.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #16; Avengers:  No Road Home #3; X-Force #3

Not-Very-New Comics: The October 31 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman Secret Files #1:  I don't exactly understand why we got this one-shot, but I can't say I'm disappointed, because it's really quite good.  Every story here is a solid one that goes somewhere unexpected.  Given how many comics I've read in my day, even one story going somewhere I didn't expect is saying a lot.  In fact, each story left me wanting more, because each author leaves Bruce stumped at the end.  He's unsure if he needs superpowers, he can't cure one of the Scarecrow's victims of his fear, he doesn't know how to prevent Wayne Enterprises' technology from falling into the wrong hands, he panics when he's on his own:  the Batman we see across these stories is one not entirely sure how to engage with the world around him.  I particularly wanted more time with Yeselle and Detective Chimp as they both force Bruce to confront his flaws in a way he normally doesn't.  All in all, it's a really solid outing.

Extermination #4:  Brisson really cranks up the pressure here.  We learn Ahab is in his past (our present) because he wants to kill one of the younger X-Men so s/he can’t safely return to his/her past, thus destroying their timeline.  We also learn young Nate killed Cable because his older self's sentimentality meant he allowed the kids to stay in the present, when he should’ve been doing everything he could to send them back to the past.  Young Nate (it's like he's a rapper) has taken on that burden himself, undoing the changes to the X-Men — like Angel’s cosmic wings — so they can return as Hank originally found them.  (Yes, it's super Nateus ex machina, but I actually didn't mind too much.)  But, Ahab surprisingly succeeds here, killing young Scott and making me legitimately wonder where we go from here.  The fact the timeline still exists implies Scott somehow survives and returns, but I’m intrigued how Brisson pulls that rabbit from his hat.  After all, Scott takes a spear to the chest here.  It's hard to write around that.

Marvel 2-in-One #11:  My problem with the Fantastic Four has always been that Reed is an arrogant asshole and I can't understand why anyone would love and trust him.  Although I don't think he intended to do so, Zdarsky proves that in this issue.  Reed brings Ben with him to retrieve the Thinker from the planet where they left him, and Ben confronts Reed about letting him and Johnny think they were dead.  At first, Reed claims he did so because he thought Ben and Johnny would be bored of all the science-ing, because he's apparently such a fucking idiot that he thought traversing the Universe as explorers wouldn't put him and his family in danger.  Ben doesn't buy it, particularly given the fact Reed could've just told them they were go exploring and wanted to do so on their own.  Dodging the issue, Reed then introduces Ben to an alternate Universe Doom who Reed befriended in their travels.  In this Universe, Reed is dead, and Doom is a mostly good guy.  Reed now says he let Ben and Johnny think he was dead because he thought that it would somehow enable them to save our Doom.  But, Reed is forced to admit even this "good" Doom is "Doom-y."  Ben chastises him for his belief he could fix everything and encourages him to trust his friends and family.  But, the whispered conversation Reed has with Doom at the end makes it clear he's not listening.  I'm pretty happy with my decision to stay with this title and the main title just through the wedding, but I'm also glad Zdarsky isn't letting Reed off the hook here.

Multiple Man #5:  This issue makes a certain amount of sense if you don’t think about it too hard.  Like, I’m pretty sure Rosenberg established one of the dupes sent into the future never returned, as we see at the end of this issue, but maybe he didn't.  It also makes a certain amount of sense that “our” Jamie becomes Emperor Jamie, that they're not two separate people.  But, it also doesn’t matter.  At some point, you just have to meet Rosenberg on his own terms and accept he’s telling a crazy Madrox story.  As other people have said, it wasn’t the Madrox story I wanted, but it’s the one we deserved.

The Realm #10:  Haun and Peck do a spectacular job evoking the ambiance of a good ol' fashioned dungeon crawl.  In the tension-driven plot, the goblins' master is surprised Will is able to hold even the fraction of the mysterious creature's power that he possesses.  He brings forth an amulet that severs Will's link to said creature and plans to dissect Will to learn more.  But, the issue's best parts are with Molly and the crew slowly but surely making their way through the dungeon.  For example, the room they entered at the end of last issue wasn't the room where Will was being held; it was a wizard's laboratory.  The team takes advantage of the moment and swipes all sorts of books, magical items, and scrolls for David to use later.  In perhaps the best sequence, given its nod to something from the original "Monster Manual," they stumble across a skeleton suspended -- along with his coins and sword -- in green slime.  Eli announces he previously encountered green slime in a subway, telling the group they'll be fine so long as they keep moving, as the slime is "slow and persistent."  It's all just so evocative of the red-boxed "Dungeon & Dragons" set, but as if running into green slime were a legitimate threat you could experience in your day-to-day life.  Meanwhile, the Queen reminds Johnny Eldritch that their master sent her after Will and his team, informing him she knows about the team he dispatched.  He's not particularly inclined to care.  Back in the dungeon, Molly and the team arrive just in time to save Will from the master's knife.  As the goblins start to combine into a gestalt, Zach knocks the amulet from the master's hands.  Eli grabs it and, before the master can kill him, Will cuts him in half.  Good times.  The team departs the dungeon to find dragons in the sky, but not before David picks up the amulet...

Spider-Force #1:  This issue is OK, I guess.  Spider-Kid is pretty insufferable as a character, in no small part because Priest has to define the street slang he uses, because we're not hip to the lingo.  It’s always embarrassing when comics do that, like your great-grandfather saying “dope” or “sick.”  The idea that this team is the Spider-People’s version of X-Force is a great one, but Priest makes it unnecessarily confusing by starting in media res.  We start on the planet where the Web-Warriors initially trapped the Inheritors, with Kaine announcing everyone on Spider-Force is going to die of exposure after their radiation suits are opened.  I mean, we all know they're not going to die.  I think it would’ve been much cooler to see Kaine and Ashley talk about starting Spider-Force and deciding on recruiting Spider-Kid and Spider-Women.  At any rate, we’ll see where we go from here.  Hopefully Priest just sticks to the story at hand and stops trying to cram every possible comic-book trope into this series.

The Wild Storm #18:  The team is apparently going on hiatus for a few months to prepare for the last six issues.  I said last issue that I wasn't sure how Ellis was going to manage to address all the possible loose ends before issue #24.  But, after this issue, I think I'm a believer, as he successfully sends everyone after Miles at the same time. 

• Jackie puts two and two together and tells Miles that Cole and Adriana aren’t working for Skywatch:  they’re involved in a rogue C.A.T. (or a Wild C.A.T., if you will).  However, Miles still seems to lump them into the same category as Skywatch as he lists his woes over the last few weeks.  (He alludes to "visiting punishment" on Skywatch's Ground Division as costing him two C.A.T.s.  But, I initially read that as him talking about the C.A.T. or C.A.T.s he lost when they tried to grab Angie from the safehouse.  The Wild C.A.T.s were responsible for that, not Bendix.)  At any rate, Jackie is sick of it, and she tells Miles it’s time to go to war with Skywatch because they killed one of their own (Mitch).  She recalls the speech Miles gave when he took over IO, saying they were the secret angels working to save humanity -- but, sometimes angels destroyed cities and didn’t just save them.

• In space, Bendix talks to Dr. Helspont, one of the original Thunderbook researchers.  Helspont explains the slave triggers in the Wetworks members were developed in three phases. The original triggers create uncontrollable violence in the subjects, and the second generation only points the subjects in a direction.  Apparently only Helspont's triggers work in actually controlling the subjects.  Slayton seems to fall in the second category of triggers whereas, disturbingly, Apollo and Midnighter might be from the last phase.

• Speak of the devil, Slayton tracks down Lynch, but Lynch convinces him — or, more specifically, his alien — to go after Miles since he’s the bad guy.  (Maybe it's just his second-generation trigger pointing him in a direction.)  As Lynch explains, the only people who can stop Slayton are IO, and his advantage is IO doesn’t know about Thunderbook.  Meanwhile, Michael Cray is heading to New York to kill Miles, or at least we assume he is.  Also, he may really have burnt down his father’s house after he tells a woman on the train his father would’ve sold information about his destination to “corporate headhunters” ten minutes after he left.  At Skywatch, Bendix also declares he’s going to destroy IO, so it looks like Miles is going to have a bad week.

• Angie defects to the Doctor’s team, where she meets a cleaned-up Mayor who explains Skywatch experimented on him.  (I think, but am not sure, Helspont likely did it after moving to Skywatch from IO/Thunderbook.  Earlier, we learned he made the move after Lynch shutdown Thunderbook.)  Angie says she came to them because the Khera spoke highly of them as “the authority.”  (Heh.)  Meanwhile, Marlowe and the C.A.T.s discover she’s gone but deploy to swipe a cosmic particle IO has caught.

• We have a super weird interlude between two disguised Khera sitting at a bar in Los Angeles who explain Zealot broke with Marlowe after Emp said he didn’t want to turn Earth into a slave camp anymore. (Zealot is at said bar, but doesn’t recognize them.)  Does that mean Marlowe still does?

In other words, Ellis really continues a masterful level of storytelling.  Miles comments about Skywatch vice the Wild C.A.T.s are the only ones that left me vaguely confused, despite Ellis alluding to storylines he started 18 months ago in issue #1.  If going on hiatus means the last six issues will be even more awesome, I'm all for it!

Also Read:  Avengers Halloween Special #1; Old Man Hawkeye #10; Vault of Spiders #1; West Coast Avengers #3; X-Men:  Black - Emma Frost #1

Not-Very-New Comics: The September 26 Non-Spider Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Realm #9:  This issue moves along pretty quickly and it's not a good thing for our crew.  Zach makes his way down the dark, narrow tunnel we saw open at the end of last issue and seems to fall to his death, igniting his resurrection powers.  That said, he seems to remember his previous life here, as he recognizes Molly, so I'm not sure if that's exactly what happened, since it all occurred off-screen.  Elsewhere, Johnny Eldritch hires someone named MacInnis and his band to track down Will and the team.  Meanwhile, the master of the fire-mouthed goblins -- who appears to be a different race from the goblins -- reveals they captured Will because they can see the creature inside him "like a candle in the dark."  The Cr+eee-like creature on the master's shoulder asks how it's possible for Will to contain the creature, leading him to wonder if Will is "el'odai" and is merely wearing a man's shape.  The master assumes Will isn't el'odai, but they threaten to torture Will to learn the truth.  Will truly seems not to be able to control his powers, as the master himself notes, since he likely would've used them previously.  (It's also not entirely clear he knows he has them.)  But, the torture appears to awaken the creature, and the issue ends with Molly and the team opening a door, possibly just as the creature emerges from Will.  Good times!

X-Men:  Blue #36:  This series was always superior to Guggenheim's run on "X-Men Gold."  Bunn was probably at his best when he left the kids in space and focused on telling Havok's story.  Despite Guggenheim's intentions, it was these stories where the X-Men seemed the closest to their Claremont origins.  Bunn spends this issue wrapping up loose ends, going so far as having Jean say they're doing so.  The oddest part, though, is that this issue came out the same week as "Extermination" #3, as the events of this issue lead directly into the start of "Extermination" #1.  But, I guess I'm beyond having faith in Marvel's editors telling a coherent story.  Bunn was a capable steward of the X-Men's name, and I hope he feels like it was time well spent.  That said, it definitely seems time for the original X-Men to go.  Combined with Guggenheim randomly recycling Claremont stories, it feels like it's been a long time since we had an honest-to-goodness X-Men series.  Needless to say, I'm excited about the relaunch of "Uncanny X-Men."

X-Men:  Red #8:  One of the most interesting constants of the X-Men is Jean Grey's fluctuating abilities.  It doesn't matter what author writes her, Jean is near omnipotent when she needs to be and useless when it suits the plot.  Here, she's unable to link Honey Badger and Trinary's minds while also fending off an attack from Cassandra Nova.  That being said, I mostly liked the conclusion of this issue, as Trinary uses her powers to turn the power of hate against itself.  (It was like reading "Dragonlance Chronicles" again.)  The only curious part is the X-Men's decision to let Cassandra Nova stay free.  It seems unrealistic, with all their experience, that they would believe Storm really wiped her off the map in Genosha.  You'd think they'd at least go check.  As a result, they also leave Forge under her control, and it also seems weird they never put two and two together to realize Nova herself would unlikely have the technological power to do what Forge (almost) accomplishes here.  But, like all Marvel series lately, this series is ending soon, so it hardly matters.

Also Read:  Detective Comics #989; Extermination #3; Marvel 2-in-One #10; Old Man Hawkeye #9; Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra #24

Not-Very-New Comics: The July 25 Everyone-but-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Detective Comics #985:  This series increasingly feels like they asked someone who's never read a "Batman" comic to tell a "Batman" story.  It turns out "Karma" is a "gun-runner" who was operating in Markovia "years ago."  He was also apparently a torturer, even though a gun runner, by definition, is the person selling the illegal weapons and generally not the one using them.  But, whatever.  Karma was a gun runner and torturer who Batman exposed to Scarecrow's gas for his crimes.  Surprised Batman would punish someone with Scarecrow's fear gas?  Yeah, me, too.  Wondering why Bruce was in Markovia in the first place?  OMG, me, too!  (In the flashback, Bruce says the people of Markovia needed freedom, but is he really a freedom fighter now?)  Anyway, Batman "accidentally" creates Karma when, shocker, Scarecrow's gas fractured his mind.  All that said, it's still not clear why Karma wants to purge Bruce of his "weakness," i.e. the Bat-family.  But, do I care?  No.  No, I really don't.  Hill seems unaware that he's just repeating the plot from the much better (but not actually good) "Death of the Family."  He also seems unaware that Barbara isn't a child like Cassandra and Duke.  I'll give it one more issue, but this series is officially on notice.

Doomsday Clock #6:  Not much actually happens in this issue, but I'm not complaining.  Snyder continues to tell character-driven stories here, as we get the sad origin of Marionette and the Mime:  crooked cops murdered their store-owning parents for not paying protection money.  Story-wise, the Riddler tries to convene a League of Villainy to decide whether or not the super-villains (presumably of the United States) should band together in the wake of the Superman Theory hysteria or take up Black Adam's offer of sanctuary in Khandaq.  The Joker brings along a still-paralyzed Batman in a wheelchair, though the group is unexpectedly underwhelmed.  (Only Scarecrow seems to want to look under the mask.)  The group scatters when the Comedian suddenly starts assassinating people in his search for Ozymandias.  Marionette realizes the Comedian probably knows where Dr. Manhattan is, and the Joker is likely to join them in the search because he's (not really all that surprisingly) taken a shine to the two of them.  But, perhaps the most interesting twist here has nothing to do with the narrative but with the costumes.  It seems pretty clear we're dealing with the pre-DCnU versions of these characters based on what they're wearing, and it seems like we have to conclude the DCnU is progressing at least in part alongside the DCU.  I have no idea how Snyder is going to resolve that, but it seems likely it's where this entire endeavor is going at this point.

The New World #1:  I like Ales Kot a lot, not just for his amazing run on "Secret Avengers" but also for his Tumblr feed.  I'm a pretty buttoned up guy and he...isn't, and he makes his kink (for lack of a better word) accessible to me in a way it wouldn't normally be.  This issue is another aspect of that accessibility.  In fact, one of Kot's great skills as a writer is the ability to present a narrative that seems, on the face of it, disconnected but intuitively feels coherent.  Here, Stella the guardian has sex with Kirby the hacker at a club only to learn she has to arrest and possibly kill him the next day.  It's all more complicated than that, obviously.  Her grandfather happens to be the president of New California, one of the successor states to emerge from the dissolution of the United States after five nuclear warheads exploded without explanation over five cities.  At some point, her parents tried to flee to Mexico, but the Great Wall prevented them from doing so.  (The art team makes New Los Angeles seem so colorful you wonder why anyone would want to leave it, accentuating the realization that the reality must be dark indeed.)  It seems like she was raised in her grandfather's care, and she's now one of the top three "guardians" of a popular reality TV show where they hunt down criminals.  If she doesn't get to Kirby, her colleagues (including the one who doesn't share her aversion to following the crowd's wishes to see the perps killed) will.  It's that ability to bottom line it while hinting at the larger dynamic that makes me glad to see Kot back.  

The Realm #8:  Haun and Peck create a creepy as fuck vibe here as Molly and her crew get caught in a series of traps:  they go through a door that closes and locks behind them, the stairs go flat so they tumble into the goblins' lair, and then even that door disappears, leaving only a goblin-sized exit that only Zack can enter.  Along the way, David displays even more magical ability, summoning (possibly unconsciously) a barrier when a goblin leaps at him.  Meanwhile, Will is having dreams of becoming a full-fledged demon, awakening to find himself suspended on a wall in the weird webbing the goblins apparently can produce.  Elsewhere, we learn "the Queen" needs to find the party because the artifact they're carrying is key to re-opening "the portal."  (I assume she means the larger portal that allowed the mass invasion and not whatever means she seems to have -- I think -- to move between the dimensions.)  But, the artifact is hiding itself (and the party) from her.  Good times for the gang, I'm sure.  Basically, it all feels like a "Dungeons & Dragons" session come to life, and I can't think of higher praise than that.

Also Read:  Dungeons & Dragons:  Evil at Baldur's Gate #3; Pathfinder:  Spiral of Bones #5

New-ish Comics: The June 27 Everyone-but-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman:  Prelude to the Wedding - Harley vs. Joker #1:  We learn the answer to the question many of us have been asking since “Batman” #49:  if Joker died in that issue, how is he alive here?  The answer is disappointing:  he’s not.  I mean, he is alive here, but this issue precedes issue #49.  I don’t know why DC didn’t ship this issue in time, but it really undermines what otherwise is yet another great story on Seeley’s part.  Harley is trying to prevent Joker from ruining the wedding because she wants to see a fairy tale come true, just once.  For his part, Joker lets her capture him because he admits he’s always been jealous of her death traps, and he needed inspiration for the one he planned for the wedding.  It’s a classic struggle, particularly with the revelation Joker was in control the entire time.  But, if you’ve read issue #49, you spend most of this issue wondering when it takes place, because Joker is (theoretically) dead.  It’s one of the too frequent examples of a creative team’s work being undermined by forces outside their control.

Detective Comics #983:  I don’t remember Black Lightning’s failure in “Dark Days:  The Forge” that Bruce mentions here, but it's pretty clear he's re-forming the Outsiders despite this failure.  If you’re worried the Bat-family already has enough people, you’re not alone:  an OMAC lookalike seems intent on killing members of the Bat-family for making “him” weaker.  In a way, it seems to be a rehash of Joker’s crusade in “Death of the Family” (though I'm not entirely convinced the "he" OMAC mentions here is Bruce).  Right now, it’s unclear how his war on the Bat-family will mesh with Batman pulling together the Outsiders, other than the possibility the villain isn't aware of them and they'll need to save the day.  We shall see.

The Realm #7:  Well, everything goes from bad to worse here.  Will and Molly agree they’re nervous of proceeding without Rook, but they had little choice as Rook made it clear she was traveling with Ben (as we saw last issue).  Her absence is almost immediately felt when Will trips down a ravine in search of water and gets kidnapped by creatures that look like a cross between Ewoks and nuclear reactors.  The group descends the ravine to find Will, but they're surprised when he's gone without a trace.  In their search, David reveals his power to the group when he uses it (whatever it is) to open the door of a temple.  (Earlier, he told them he sensed Will had been kidnapped.)  With only Eli, Molly, and Zack with him, the odds aren’t in their favor, I have to say.  Meanwhile, scary bloody lady from last issue reveals she’s been sent to check on Johny Eldritch, and he’s none too happy about it.

Also Read:  Pathfinder:  Spiral of Bones #4

New-ish Comics: The May 30 Non-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Doomsday Clock #5:  This issue covers a lot of ground but doesn't necessarily advance the plot.  First, Jane Doe from Arkham Asylum is revealed to be Sally Jupiter, which makes a lot more sense than the villain Jane Doe, as we saw her reading Rorschach's mind last issue.  Sally agrees to track down Manhattan with Rorschach because she likes "helping people," telling Rorschach they need a "great big light" to find him.  Meanwhile, Johnny Thunder is revealed to be the guy waiting for his family to visit him in the retirement home last issue; he escapes here.  (The guy obsessed with the Nathaniel Dusk movies is named Donald, and I feel like he's going to be important later.)  Sally and Rorschach find Johnny in Pittsburgh, where he's tracked down Alan Scott's Green Lantern battery (i.e, the "great big light.")  Meanwhile, Lois confronts a recovering Lex Luthor about her suspicion that Lex is behind the Superman theory, but he swears he's not.  He tells her the person who created metahumans for the government was a metahuman member of the Justice League (as Superman looms ominously outside his hospital room).  Elsewhere, Batman confronts an escaped Veidt, and they argue in the Owlship.  Batman is obviously appalled at Veidt's actions in his New York, but Veidt is appalled the heroes of this Earth seem solely to fight to amuse themselves.  He dumps Batman into the crowd calling for his head, and it seems Joker played a role in putting together that crowd.  In global developments, Russia shuts its borders to outsiders as it announces its own team of metahumans, and Black Adam saves a journalist from King Kobra in Syria, announcing Khandaq is now a haven for metahumans.  (He wasn't supposed to leave Khandaq, apparently.)  Again, they're all solid developments, but it basically just ups the pressure without altering the status quo.

The Realm #5:  I somehow missed this issue when it was released in January, and it didn't help matters that issue #6 wasn't released until May.  I followed the story fine, but I'll admit the time lag meant I forgot some of the characters.  For example, I couldn't remember if Laszlo was part of Will's team, Molly's team, or Everett's team.  But, it doesn't hinder the story; in fact, it added to the sense of chaos and confusion that permeates this issue.

Will's team and the city's defenders are forced to try to hold the wall from the attacking orcs while also figuring out a way to take out the monster that appeared at the end of last issue.  Will sends David and Dr. Burke to safety, though David eventually defies his orders to go help.  Burke bristles at David's decision, but David reminds him the orcs are there because of the canister they're carrying (something I'm pretty sure the rest of the team doesn't know).  Will sends Molly and Laszlo to try to stop the orcs from using mammoths equipped with battering rams to get through the gates.  Eli reports for duty at the gate after getting Zach to safety.  After the orcs break down the gates, Will sends Eli with some Molotov cocktails to take out the creature, and Molly sends Laszlo with him.  The thing manages to rip off Laszlo's arm before Eli can get off a shot, so he engages all his grenades and leaps at it.  Meanwhile, the bearded guy hunting the orcs emerges and joins Rook attacking them on their side of the gate, eventually confronting the leader, Redjaw.  Burke follows David, saying that good research assistants are hard to find and that he doesn't want him thinking he's a coward.  However, he takes an arrow to the chest and hands David the canister before he dies.

At the gates, Molly keeps the area around Bearded Guy clear with some pretty impressive arrow shots.  Just as the battle starts to come to a fevered pitch, David is overcome by grief, blaming Dr. Burke's death on his decision to fight.  He then emits massive amounts of electricity, destroying the creature and several nearby tanks.  Will awakens a while later with Bearded Guy standing over him, and Zach reveals his name is Ben and (he thinks) he's a friend.  Zach brings Will to date, saying the explosion sent the remaining orcs running and informing him Laszlo is dead.  Everett confirms the damage is bad and that a "very weak" David is sleeping.  Molly confirms Burke is dead, but also stresses the team wants to continue the mission, since they knew the risks.  As Molly says, the death of two of their friends makes the mission all the more important.  Will asks Rook to try to talk him out of deciding to do so, but she declines, and Will says they'll regroup when David awakens.  Elsewhere, a creepy woman emerges from a pool of blood.

Even after three months or so, this series is still crackling with energy.  Onto the next issue!

The Realm #6:  This issue is ostensibly about Ben, Rook, and Everett's best scout, Ray, as they track down Redjaw (the orc leader) and the other surviving members of his band.  Through their tracks, Rook is able to conclude Redjaw and his "woman" are ahead of a second group of five orcs carrying a pack horse.  Ray is impressed, as he feels like a "greenhorn" compared to Rook, even though he was raised in the area.

They set up camp for the night, and Haun uses their campfire discussion to provide us with background on Earth's status quo.  We learn the invasion began when the spires appeared throughout the world "thirteen years, two hundred and thirty-six days" ago, according to Rook.  Whereas Ben was with the Army in Africa when the first spire appeared off the Gulf Coast, Ray talks about being glued to the television watching the spires appear.  He remembers he wished they had been alien spaceships, because something about the spires defying the laws of physics was worse.  (This comment emotionally resonated with me.)  Ben comments how he and his battalion were recalled Stateside, but they eventually disbanded after a year as the communication black-out and non-functional equipment meant cohesion dissolved quickly.  He also wonders if the spires are the key or if they just seem to be because they were the first things to appear.  (Obviously, they're the key.)  We learn electricity didn't disappear everywhere at once and, in fact, some places are rumored to have it still.  Haun makes the trauma implicit in these discussions obvious.  You have to wonder if the troops in Ben's battalion all just went their own way simultaneously or if Ben joined a smaller group whose members he lost over a period of time.  The straight-forward nature of their discussion probably hides some pretty terrible realities.

The next morning, they encounter some hillbillies controlling a bridge they need to cross, and Ben tricks them into thinking they've gotten a drop on them.  In so doing, he also tricks them into drinking a neurotoxin he's disguised as whiskey.  The group continues on their way where they discover a seemingly dead owlbear surrounded by dead orcs.  The owlbear is revealed to be alive (barely) and manages to swipe Ray's leg before Ben kills it in front of it cub.  Ray looses consciousness, so Rook commits to returning him to town in time to save the leg as she figures Ben is able to handle Redjaw and his woman (the only two members of the band not dead in the ring) on his own.  Ben says the orcs did them a favor killing the creature, but Rook disagrees, saying she was just defending her young and her home.  Ben disagrees in turn, saying they don't belong here.  As Rook leaves, Ben commits to killing the cub, though he tells it not to look at him "like that."  I think we just got a new pet, people!

Not-So-New Comics: The December 20 Everyone-but-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman #37: Honestly, every issue of this series is practically an issue of the year.  Along those lines, I love everything about this issue.  King just gets the dynamic of each couple - Bruce and Selena, Bruce and Clark, Clark and Lois, Selena and Lois - so perfectly.  Lois and Selena are obviously my favorite, as they fail to explain why they love Batman and "Kansas" so much but have a good time (with a flask) exploring the question.  The girls are more comfortable embracing the fact they don’t have good answers to this question than the boys are, who also fail to answer it.  Bruce points out Clark’s secret identity is his greatest secret but he’s married to the world’s best reporter, and Clark points out Bruce fights criminals but Selena is one of the world’s best criminals.  Meanwhile, they argue over whether Bruce can hit a ball Clark throws (he can).  It all happens against the backdrop of everyone switching costumes to get into superhero night at the fair.  Awesome, right?  (Yes, the scenes of the boys in their underwear in bathroom stalls was amazing.  “The bat stands for a bat.” Heh.)

Dark Nights: Metal #4: Unlike previous iterations, it’s not really worth laying out all the details of this issue, as we start to spin into nonsense on some level.  I'll try to keep it short and focused.

The three teams seeking the Nth metal encounter their own unique challenges.  Kendra is afraid to journey deeper into the Rock of Eternity because she knows the Nth metal there is in Hawkman’s mace and it will reveal...something to her.  Aquaman and Deathstroke follow whoever murdered the guards at King Arion’s tomb through a portal in his coffin.  Starro the Conqueror is working with the Thanagarians and their leader Onimar Synn to do...something with Plastic...egg.  (Apparently Synn was an enemy of the Thanagarians, but now he’s their leader.  He’s also consumed all the Nth metal, so he was the beacon that led the team there.  Yeah, I don't know either.  Also, the Thanagarians have some sort of “Phoenix Cannon” aimed at Earth so they can ensure it doesn’t fall into the Dark Multiverse, but I don't get why everyone thinks that's a bad thing.  Is that a good thing?)

Meanwhile, two alternate versions of Superman arrive to take Batman deeper into the Dark Multiverse now that they have Superman to power the battery, and it gives Bruce a chance (apparently the first one in 30 years) to use his Kryptonite knuckles to free Clark.  Bruce calls for Dream to help, and Dream creates a portal through which Bruce and Clark escape.  Dream eventually reveals Barbatos was the engine of destruction that the master of the World Forge used to destroy worlds that weren’t stable enough to raise into the Orrery.  Barbatos killed his master, allowing these worlds born of fears and nightmares to survive, for a time.  However, because their energy is no longer being returned to the Forge, it's begun to go dark.  (By the by, the Forge's master was the third being created at the start of existence - “a great spark of molten potential” - along with the Monitor and the Anti-Monitor.)  We also learn there’s a tenth metal at the Forge; it’s “the last, bright pure metal of possibility.”  Dream warns, though, Barbatos has a cosmic being in his pocket to tip the balance further in his favor.  Dream sends Bruce and Superman to the Forge, because they have enough “hope and wonder” in their hearts not to get lost along the way.  (I know, I know.  Apparently Bruce’s wonder is his family’s ability to be better than he is.  Gag me with a pitchfork.)  But, they find the Forge is dark and Carter Hall is now Barbatos’ dragon, defender of the Dark Forge.  (Does that mean the Forge is alive, but only spitting out "dark" worlds?)  Meanwhile, Kendra tries to destroy the Anti-Monitor’s brain at the heart of the Rock of Eternity, but she’s transformed into Lady Blackhawk instead.  (I thought it was Hawkman's mace that had the Nth metal?)

If you couldn’t tell, at least one of the wheels came off the bus here. Snyder had done such a great job previously in telling an ambitiously complex story that I could still follow panel to panel and issue to issue, but we lose that here. The story just has too many internal contradictions, like why the Phoenix Cannon isn’t the answer to everyone’s prayers, or random developments, like Black Adam revealing to Wonder Woman that he and Vandal Savage struck their own deal with Barbatos.  I’m not saying all hope is lost, but I am saying it’s probably time we wrapped up things here.

Nightwing #35:  This series has been cruising along pretty nicely lately, so I haven’t felt inspired to recap it for a while.  Humphries starts his initial arc here, as Dick confronts an old enemy called the Judge who has apparently previously eluded him.  The Judge gives golden casino chips to people that force (or help) them act out their allegedly greatest desires:  an old lady stabs a croupier to death so her friends will be afraid of her, and Svoboda shoots Nightwing for some reason.  Meanwhile, Dick has opened a CrossFit gym, which seems to mean we’re going to see a lot of his ass.  Hurrah!  I'm still not buying this idea of the Judge as some long lost archenemy (particularly after the Raptor business), but we'll see where Humphries takes us.

The Realm #4:  We establish a few things here that continue to build the world around us.  Will and Molly decide to bring the kid they encountered last issue to camp with them once he resurrects himself and all.  We learn he knows he’s done it (resurrect himself) previously (as we’ve seen), but he can’t remember any details about his life.  (My guess is he loses that information every time he resurrects.)  Rook is against taking him with the group, but Will and Molly overrule her, uncomfortable with leaving a kid on his own.  Eli takes the kid under his wing, and they head to a small city.  A guy named Everett runs it, and he and Will are friendly.  (How friendly?  I know I keep pushing for Will to be down with guys, so deal.)  His city is trying to start civilization going again, and the team is impressed by what they’ve accomplished towards that goal.  They have dinner, but the orc war band we’ve previously seen arrives at the gates and interrupts it.  On the way to the city, one of the orcs tells the leader he's concerned his “brothers” have gone missing on the march.  The woman with the bunny mask asks if it’s "him," and it’s clear the bearded guy we’ve seen a few times has been killing enough orcs to become their boogieman.  As the band arrives, the team throws its (considerable) support to the city’s militia, but they’re surprised when a many-tentacled creature appears above them.  Notably, we learned along the way that several party members are at least magic sensitive.  Rook and the kid had previously sensed a dark cloud coming over the party, and Eli and the kid both saw a black dog briefly appear in the woods.  At dinner, Will’s demon arm starts to hurt, and the kid gets a headache right before the many-tentacled creature appears.  Curiouser and curiouser.

The Wild Storm #10:  Okee-dokee, we have a lot going on here:

— Cole’s team is trying to figure out a way to take out an underground installation at IO.  (I’m assuming it's the room hosting Lynch’s simulation exercise, but I’m not entirely sure, because I’m not sure how the Wild C.A.T.s would know about that.)  They initially plan for John and Kendra to jump into the HQ to hack into IO's security systems and take down the event shielding so Adri can then jump Cole into the HQ with a bomb to destroy it.  (Cole ensures they’ll use some sort of environmental scare to evacuate the building, minimizing casualties.)  But, they realize they’re never going to get John and Kendra onsite without IO knowing, so Cole instead suggests they use the drones Angie threw at the Razor-3 team to hack into the systems.

— At the Skywatch satellite, Bendix (i.e., the Weatherman) tells Lauren (his aide-de-camp) that Trelane has reported that Cray doesn’t have a brain tumor, but instead something “reptilian”-related.  However, Lauren apparently doesn’t believe in “reptilian aliens” or “alien metamorphs,” even though, as Bendix says, they’re part of Skywatch’s core mission.  (According to Bendix, this mission includes creating an off-world breakaway civilization, colonizing space, and Bendix becoming Vice-President of the Universe.)  However, Bendix refuses to brief her, so they switch to the plans for getting their stealth tech from IO.  Bendix wants “punishment killings” since stealing is against the treaty, but Lauren suggests it would tip them into open conflict.  She confirms Lucy Blaze is handling the increased observation of IO, and Bendix is pleased.  He then takes some sort of drug and proceeds to manage all outer space from the deck.

— The Doctor has Jenny take her to her place for a drink, and she encounters, in her own words, Jenny's "serial killer" bulletin board.  Jenny says it’s her way to understand the state of the world; she was alive for part of the war between IO and Skywatch, but then she disappeared.  The Doctor tells Jenny she checked on her after accessing her vision and informs her the Daemon created the machine that created Jenny as the world’s defense mechanism.  (Jenny previously hadn’t been able to confirm the Daemon were real.)

— We’re introduced to the Mayor, a seemingly homeless guy who travels from city to city through manholes to check on whether shop-owners are doing OK.  (The shop-owner who tells Kendra this story says the Mayor often shows up just when he’s feeling like he doesn’t matter.)  As the Mayor runs up a wall and dives into a manhole, Voodoo sees him doing so and tells her friend it means “it’s all real” and a war is coming.

At this point, the only real nagging question I have about this series is how the Wild C.A.T.s learned about Lynch's operation (if they are in fact trying to stop it).  It's really remarkable if you think about it.  Ellis is telling a complicated story going back ten months, but I feel like I understand where we are and where we're going except for that one small detail.  In other words, man, it's a great series.

Also Read:  Quantum & Woody #1