Over-a-Year-Old Comics: The December 18 (2019) Non-Event Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Guardians of the Galaxy #12:  This issue is how you end a story!  I totally cried with Pete as the original Guardians sat at Raccoon's bedside and Pete told him the galaxy could wait while he got better.  Cates sticks the landing so well here.  As Rocket said, a raccoon doesn't defeat J'Son:  an engineer does, as Rocket rewires the ship's polarity and frees the heroes.  The gang makes short work of J'Son's Drax clones while Rocket reveals that he also programmed the ship to return to its original time.  Lockjaw skedaddles the heroes off the ship as J'Son comes face to face with Thanos and Death at the End of Everything.  Cates took the Guardians to a pretty dark place in this series, but he promises brighter horizons, particularly as we end not only with Pete and Gamora holding hands but also a resurrected Drax.  "Guardians of the Galaxy" was one of the few superhero comics I'm keeping on my pull list, and this issue makes me very glad that I will.

Invaders #12:  This series just sort of ends.  Unsurprisingly, the Invaders win, defeating Machan before he can use his Doomsday machine to flood the world.  (I have no idea why London seems to be the only place flooding or how Spider-Man and the Thing managed to get there so quickly, but it is what it is.)  

The exciting part, for me, was the question of how Cap and the rest of the Invaders would deal with Namor once the threat passed.  The answer?  They just forgive everything because he was an Invader.  Cap doesn't even try to excuse Namor's behavior with Machan, as Namor himself admits that Machan didn't do anything he wouldn't have done.  Cap just says that he can't stay mad at Namor, no matter what we does, because they were Invaders.  Really?  Like, attempted genocide is totally fine if an Invader bro does it?  

Given how grounded in psychology this series was, I was surprised to see Zdarsky take the easy route here instead of giving us a Cap truly wrestling with his responsibilities toward, and his comradeship with, Namor.  Instead, he just shrugs his shoulders.  (Actually, he just has another beer with Bucky and Jim, but you get the point.)

I feel like Zdarsky must've written himself into a corner here, like Claremont did with Phoenix when he revealed that she destroyed a planet.  I wonder if the Powers That Be at Marvel decreed that Cap and Namor had to be buds, because it's the only reason I could see for Zdarsky swerving from the wall at the last minute.

King Thor #4:  I don't know what to say here.  This issue is a sprawling mess, which isn't necessarily bad but also isn't necessarily good.

The first ten pages unfold as expected, with Thor somehow finding the power he needs to defeat Gorr the Necroverse because, as Loki says, "Thor is Thor."  Does that make any sense?  Not really.  It has something to do with Thor spending his whole life defining "worthy" as eliminating his demons, but instead he now realizes that it means embracing them and marshaling his rage and shame into "the storm."  Sure, whatever.  At this point, I'll give Aaron a pass because it's his last time at the trough.  

Then, for lack of a better term, we drift into space.  In the Halls of All-Knowing, Shadrak, "god of imbeciles and imbecility," angers the Librarian by knocking over some Thor tomes.  Shadrak looks through them, and we discover that they detail Thor's exploits before he becomes King Thor.  We're now "treated" to a truly bizarre sequence of pages, with Thor:  as "God Cop," policing other gods; as a world ("Thor the Thunder World") spitting "rune moons made of solid uru;" as an amesiac Lord of the Ice Apes of Jotunheim, etc.  Marvel can't pass the chance to get in some advertisements, as Balder becomes King of the Norns, Jane is shown as Valkyrie, and Sif takes over Heimdall's role.  Then, we finally see our Thor sitting on his throne.  At this point, though, Aaron's overwrought narration has me skimming.  I know that Aaron wanted me to be immersed in this story at this point, and I wanted to be.  I really did.  But, I was mostly just bored and confused.  This feeling of dissociation with the story that I thought Aaron was telling is made worse when we return to Shadrak, who tell us that he's looking forward to reading more Thor stories the next day.  I'm glad he is.

We shift to the future (or present, at this point).  We learn that Gorr survived his encounter with Thor, but he's now a simpleton with no trace of the Necrosword remaining in him.  He lives in a garden on Indigarr, watched by loving gods.  Lest we think that Gorr deserves worse, Aaron reminds us that it's unclear if this outcome is Heaven or Hell for Gorr.  Meanwhile, we also learn that Loki has sacrificed himself to rekindle a dying sun, with Midgard seemingly the sole planet left in creation.  Wrapping up the sacrifices, Thor hands over Mjolnir to the girls and then somehow becomes the new support system for the devastated Universe, the pillar on which creation will rise again.  How?  I don't know.  I guess we'll never know.

In other words, man, I'm disappointed.  It doesn't overshadow Aaron's accomplishments when it comes to this character, but it does make me wish he would've just ended with "War of the Realms."  When I saw "King Thor" marketed, I was worried that it seemed self-indulgent, and it seems that way now.  I guess there's a lesson in there somewhere.

The Last God #3:  This issue is interesting, as with previous ones, more for the stories that we're not being told than the ones that we are.  

We start the issue in the past with Try lying to Cyanthe that her father left the group because he seemed angry.  Cyanthe is devastated, blaming herself for driving away her father after their argument the previous evening.  Veikko knows better, accusing Tyr of murdering Cyanthe's father not because he had the Plague but because Tyr wanted Cyanthe to himself.  As the trio travel, they discover dead Aelvan near the Pinnacle, which Veikko explains humanity made Aelvan slaves build on the ashes of their previous place of power.  Veikko realizes that a beast called an ursulon killed the Aelves and has the trio flee.  The ursulon later finds them, and Veikko assumes that they're goners until Cyanthe realizes why it's enraged:  it's carrying its dead cub in its hand.  Cyanthe uses her teymsong to quiet the beast, allowing them to share a moment of grief over their lost family members.  It's a really touching moment, a rare show of emotion so far in a series that prides itself on how such feelings don't have any place in such a cruel world.  Veikko watches in wonder, having previously asserted that only Aelvan prayers have power.

In the present, Cyanthe, Eyvindr, and Veikko make their way to the Pinnacle, where Eyvindr witnesses the meager conditions that the people in his hero's empire endure due to Tyr's negligence.  Cyanthe announces Eyvindr will stay at the Pinnacle after she and Veikko recruit Skol and her Eldritch Knights to travel to the Black Stair; after they win, he'll return to the slave cradles "where [he] belong[s]."  As the arrive at the Pinnacle, Eyvindr announce that he's leaving for the Stair on his own, tired of what he (correctly and incorrectly) sees as Cyanthe's lies.  She seemingly lies again, telling him that he can't go to the Stair because Mol Uhltep told them that Eyvindr would be the one to bring about the end of the world.  Cyanthe claims that it's because Eyvindr appeared in the arena in the yellow-tin crown reading all "[Tyr's] old lies" to him, a reference to the "true crown hidden by a false one of gold" prophecy.  It seems pretty clear that Eyvindr is the true crown of the prophecy, with Tyr's being the false one, despite Cyanthe seemingly implying otherwise.  Moreover, Cyanthe's spin doesn't explain the flashback that we saw in the first issue, of Tyr seemingly trying to kill an infant Eyvindr, since it's unclear how he knew Eyvindr would one day become the man in the arena.  That said, Eyvindr still isn't having any more of Cyanthe's lies.  He starts to leave, when Mol Uhltep appears to them in the form of a dead woman and her child sitting on the bridge.  He sends the Plague after them and the issue ends with Eyvindr plunging off the bridge in the melee.  

Star Wars:  Empire Ascendant #1:  This issue is sloppy, signified by the fact they accidentally switched two of the interstitial pages.  The main story is treacly, its concluding page's dialogue reading like something a middle schooler would've written.  The Vader story is fluff, not even attempting to tell a story that we've seen a thousand times already, about how ruthless Vader is, particularly when it comes to prizing victory over failure.  The Beilert story is the best of the lot, as the Aphra story is hindered by heavy narration via holovid that doesn't even sound like Aphra.  In the end, it feels like a money grab.  It's a shame, too, because I feel like it was Marvel's chance to tell a few pre-"Empire Strikes Back" stories that it didn't get to showcase during the initial "Star Wars'" run.  Instead, it's a forgettable issue that has me eager for the real story getting under way.

Star Wars:  The Rise of Kylo Ren #1:  Soule has an unenviable task here, as he's forced to impose some form of coherence to both the Knights of Ren and Kylo Ren himself.

Rian Johnson famously axed the Knights of Ren in "Star Wars:  The Last Jedi," only for JJ Abrams to reinstate them as Ren's own Praetorian Guard in "Star Wars:  The Rise of Skywalker."  Despite their appearances (or not, as the case may be), we never really got an explanation for who they were.  In terms of Ren himself, he's constantly switching personalities, bouncing among confident, desperate, focused, and shattered.  Soule not only has to try to forge a consistent vision of Ren but also needs to make us care despite the fact that we all know (spoiler alert if you haven't seen "Star Wars:  The Rise of Skywalker") that he dies in the end.

This issue is at its best when Soule tries to address the Knights of Ren.  Soule seems to imply that "ren" was the name of the Force "long ago," with the Knights dedicated to its service.  Although it's clear that the Knights aren't good guys (they are, after all, trying to recruit a kid who brags about killing over 100 people), it isn't clear that they're formally aligned with the Sith either.  The Knight's leader refers to a "friend" providing them names of Force-sensitive potential recruits, who I at first thought meant Snoke since I didn't initially realize that we were seeing a scene in the distant past.  I'm assuming that it's a Sith, but I guess we'll see.

Soule struggles a little with Ren, but it really isn't his fault.  Ren is as sniveling as Luke was in the first trilogy.  When three of his cohort from Luke's temple return to find everyone -- including, they think, Luke -- dead, Ren is outraged that they don't believe him when he tells them that Luke tried to kill him.  He's alternatively vicious and appalled as he fights them, never dealing a killing blow despite his at-times blood-thirsty rhetoric.  He reads almost like Two-Face at times, more mentally ill than someone struggling to reconcile the life he thought he was living with the circumstances in front of him.

Overall, though, it's a good start.  Soule has shown an ability in previous work to mine newfound insights to characters with muddled histories, so I'm optimistic that he can do the same with Ren here.

Not-Very-New Comics: The November 13 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Detective Comics #1,015:  I enjoy the idea of a revived Nora Fries turning on Victor, deciding that she wants to be her own woman and to exert power over other people for a change.  No one ever thought Victor's dream would, to use the cliché, become his nightmare, but here we are.  Tomasi also does a good job of keeping the focus on Victor's commitment to Nora; throughout the issue, Fries says that he regrets his life of crime, seeing it solely as a means to an end (i.e., resurrecting Nora).  Nora's refusal to travel to Alaska with him as he researches how to heal them fully is all the more of a blow.  The serum that Lex gave Fries is clearly altering not just her physiology but her psychology.  It helps make Nora's actions more believable, though it was already pretty believable that she'd be disoriented after so long on ice.  My only problem with this issue is that Bruce and Fries' confrontation on the GCPD rooftop feels rushed.  If Tomasi had taken more time, we could've really dug into Fries' psyche, with Batman pushing against his assertion that it was all for Nora.  Instead, we have to take that assertion for granted so they can move through the trust exercises necessary to establish their temporary partnership.  Again, it isn't terrible, it just feels like a somewhat wasted opportunity.

Invaders #11:  I'll forgive Zdarsky for putting Roxxon's research compound on the same island where Namor and Steve are stranded, since it makes sense that the Roxxon ship that they attacked last issue would be coming from said island.  The real question is whether Steve's almost childish devotion to Namor is merited.  After all, Namor lets the scientists' experiments kill them here.  Steve is enraged, but he's still trying to convince Namor not to be the kind of man who they've always fought, who thinks that he can impose his will on other people.  (Has he met Namor?)  Steve tries to convince Namor that, if he accepts that Machan didn't do anything that he wouldn't do, he has a responsibility, as a king, to correct his mistake.  Zdarsky has Steve throw a minor tantrum when Namor (like everyone else) accuses him of only seeing black-and-white.  Steve insists that he sees grey, but I feel like maybe here he's seeing too much grey?  It's getting harder and harder to see Namor as redeemable here, as his actions in the lab prove, as he himself says in this issue, that Machan didn't do anything that he wouldn't have done.  I don't see how Cap accepts anything other than Namor standing trial if he's going to uphold his ideals, black-and-white they may be.

Star Wars #74:  This issue is great.  I've rolled my eyes for most of Luke's story as his dedication to Warba seemed like yet another example of his child-like naïveté.  But, Warba does arrive in the nick of time to save Luke after previously abandoning him, allowing him to fend off the Stormtroopers intent on attacking the Rebel base.  (The "desert mangler-mounted" Stormtrooper patrol is definitely one of the most unexpectedly cool moments in this run.  It's hilarious and deadly all at once, to see Stormtroopers on top of basically desert Tauntauns.)

As Luke prepares to depart Sergia, he asks the Rebels to take Warba to the next safe planet.  Warba tells Luke that she isn't a Jedi:  she just repeated whatever she heard the believers on Jedha say.  Luke buys it for a moment, but then he tells her that she's more than she thinks.  Earlier, he compared her to Han Solo (who also keeps insisting that he's leaving once the job is done), and his belief in the truth of that comparison shines in his eyes.  Warba is the lone figure left standing on Sergia's desert as the Rebels and Luke go their separate ways, and something about the way Noto portrays it -- with the wistful desert sky beyond her - makes you wonder if she doesn't believe Luke a little.

Meanwhile, Threepio confesses to the Kakrans that Chewie and he set bombs on the planet before they realized that intelligent life lived there.  The elder Kakran tells Threepio that they can disable "the flesh's" machines, and Threepio realizes that they can generate electricity.  When the elder Kakran notes that they'll take out "Brother Ore" as well, Threepio tells "Brother Stone" to do it, so he can be helpful.  Threepio, man.  Luke arrives on K-43 just in time for the emp blast to disable Artoo and his ship.  It sets up one of the best scenes of this series, as Vader emerges from the rubble and makes his way toward Luke, his plan realized.  However, he hadn't planned on Chewie knocking him over the head with a boulder.  Chewie vs. Vader, next issue!  I can't wait!

Star Wars:  Target Vader #5:  I'm not quite sure I follow what Vader wants here.  As Beilert notes, Vader tortures him for no real reason, since Vader just shows him a holomap of Hidden Hand outposts that both he and Beilert know that Vader has already destroyed.  So why show him them?

Anyway, the journey into Beilert's history is much more interesting, and the art for certain segments is less bracing (in a good way), making Beilert less grotesque than he's appeared on the covers.  We learn that Beilert is from a mining planet named Chorin, which he leaves for a better future.  After the events of "Star Wars:  Han Solo - Imperial Cadet," he became a grunt (as we knew).  The rest of his body (beyond his eye, which he lost in "Imperial Cadet") was burned in a battle where he lead his soldiers to safety after the Empire refused them air support.  A former commander intervened to make sure that the Empire didn't just let him die, pulling strings to have him built into a cyborg.  Upon returning home to Chorin, he discovered that his father and fellow minters were dead.  He learns from his lost love, Yura, that they died after the Empire withdrew once the mines ran dry.  "Raiders" then overtook Chorin, and Beilert leaves Yura to find them.  

In the present, Beilert breaks off his arm to escape the Imperials, but it's a trap that Vader set for him.  Vader brings him to Chorin where he tells Beilert that the "raiders" who overtook Chorin became the Hidden Hand.  Vader then welcomes Beilert back to the Empire, threatening the rest of Chorin if he doesn't cooperate.  (Couldn't he just revealed this plan from the start and save everyone time?  Why the torture charade?  Isn't Vader busy?)  Beilert then finds his Rebel contacts, telling them that they need weapons and he needs the Hidden Hand.  But, isn't the Rebellion the Hidden Hand?  I don't get that part either.   Vamos a ver.

X-Men #2:  Whereas Hickman's emotionless and stilted dialogue was a poor fit for the New Mutants, it works quite well for the Summers family.  Even Scott's attempts at bonding with his children sound like someone delivering a PowerPoint presentation, which is totally in line with Scott's personality.  It also fits Nate's personality, as his arrogance on display as he frequently refuses to spend too many words discussing his mistakes.  Hickman needs to turn over "New Mutants" to Kelly Thompson and focus exclusively on the Summers family.

The premise of this issue is that Arakko is apparently on Earth now.  This surprise, combined with the revelation that someone assassinated Xavier in "X-Force" #1, leaves me feeling somewhat confused from the start.  At this point, I'm getting half the new series:  "Marauders," "New Mutants," and "X-Men."  I'm not getting "Excalibur," "Fallen Angels," or "X-Force," and it obviously means that I'm getting an incomplete view of the "Dawn of X."  But, I don't really plan on changing my subscriptions, so I'm going to have to roll with these punches.  At any rate, we learn that Arakko appeared 100 miles off Krakoa and Krakoa is heading toward it quickly.  Scott takes Rachel and Nate within him on a recon mission after Aurora and Northstar observed some pretty large monsters on "the other place we don't normally speak of" (i.e., Arakko).

Meanwhile, at the heart of a volcano called the Arak Maw (it has glowing white tentacles emerging from it, just to make it extra creepy), we learn more about Arakko.  We're introduced to a shock white boy with bleeding black eyes (similar to the girl we encountered last issue) conversing with his mother, War.  We learn that the boy and his siblings were raised constantly engaged in some sort of war, presumably the one that Apocalypse left War and the other Horsemen to fight.  An interstitial page tells us that Arakko has a legion of Summoners who've protected Arakko from the "land beyond the wild borders of Otherworld" through summoning demons.  It's all pretty grim.

After the Summers family defeat a carnivorous squid (and Rachel and Nate enjoy some banter), the team encounters the boy.  However, they don't speak the same language; he hears the Summers speaking in grunts, and they hear him as singing.  Nate gives him a thermal grenade as a gift, and the boy accidentally detonates it, leading him to interpret (understandably) that the Summers mean him harm.  He then summons three demons (making him a High Summoner, based on what the interstitial page showed us).  The fact that these demons all have names (which the boy uses when "introducing" them to the Summers), implies to me that we're going to learn a lot about whatever corner of Hell (or maybe the Otherworld) the Arakkans control.  Scott eventually suggests that Rachel download Krakoan into the boy's brain, allowing them to converse.  Nate apologizes to the boy ("Can we agree that I've made some poor choices today and just move on?"), and Scott asks why Krakoa is headed to Arakko.  Hilariously, the boy asks Scott if he loves someone, and he responds, "Complicated question," with a hilarious tight smile.  (All the funnier?  He adds, "But for the sake of expedience let's just say yes.  I love a single someone."  Oh, Scott.  Who knew you, of all people, would get the ladies?)  We then witness Krakoa and Arakko "merging."  The boy comments that he lives "here" now because "he" lives here.  War encouraged the boy to find "him" earlier in the issue, and it seems clear that it's the same person:  Apocalypse.  The boy tells Apocalypse that Arakko will soon fall, though his children do their best to hold off the enemies.  Apocalypse embraces him, telling him that he saves all his children.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Again, Scott has all sorts of bon mots here, from telling Rachel to throw the book at him because he's a guilty man (for letting Cypher go to the Shi'ar Imperium, denying the X-Men the only person who can communicate with Krakoa) to covering up Nate's eyes while the islands "merge" and telling him, "Well, son, I think that's how all my best mistakes happened."  I also enjoyed him telling Nate that he's spent more time in the cockpit than in therapy and that he has "done the work."  I am totally here for this Scott Summers, and I hope Jonathan Hickman continues writing him this way for a long, long time.

Also Read:  The Batman's Grave #2

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The June 12 Non-X Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #23:  This issue feels slapdash, but it does what it needs to do.  Spencer ticks off the list of future threats emerging from "Hunted," with the Vulture reforming the Savage Six, Kraven, Jr. assuming the mantle of Kraven the Hunter, and the Chameleon thanking Sergei (at his grave) for sparing him the Hunt and pledging destruction and doom in the future.  But, most importantly, Spencer thankfully throws out the "Women in Refrigerators" plot, as we learn MJ's injury came from slipping on Peter's costume and putting an arm through the coffee table.  (She seems pretty OK given the severity of the cuts that should involve.)  The creeper Goblin we previously saw hanging over her has taken the form of an inchworm -- yeah, I don't know how either -- observing Peter tearfully hugging her.  The inchworm -- er, Goblin -- exposits that he's keeping MJ safe from her greatest threat -- Peter -- so that they can be together.  If we were dealing with the post-collegiate versions of these characters, I'd say the creeper Goblin was Harry Osborn, but that makes less sense now.  I guess we'll see, though I admit I have problems caring?  Like, I thought the joy of Spencer getting MJ and Peter back together was that he'd avoid these sorts of clichés.  Oh, well.

Detective Comics #1,005:  I'll be honest that I'm not sure why DC felt the need to introduce the Arkham Knight to the comics continuity.  In the video game, it was Jason Todd, thought killed by the Joker.  As we learned last issue, it's now Jeremiah Arkham's secret daughter, Astrid.  Raised in Arkham surrounded by convicts, she believed that Batman was the bad guy, particularly after he allegedly killed her mother.  It's a lie Jeremiah allowed to persist because it meant that he could escape culpability in wife's death.  (What a therapist, this guy.)  After her previous dry run of setting off a small sun in Gotham, Astrid now tries to blind Gotham's citizens so they can't see Batman.  To her, he's an agent of the darkness and shadows so, if everyone is blind, his power over them fades.  In other words, she's crazy.  For all the hoopla of introducing the Knight, it just feels so ho-hum, yet another lunatic with some diabolical plan that Batman easily foils.  (Also, why go with the dry run and alert Batman to your existence?  Why not just blind everyone from the get-go?)  The end sequence of Batman and Robin surveying the city days later feels directly lifted from a "Batman:  The Animated Series" episode, the first time I've felt that way about Tomasi's writing.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #7:  I've been enjoying this series a lot, but this issue is an unfortunate miss.  Taylor leans very, very heavily into eye-rolling clichés, from Marnie telling Peter that she didn't know May was a superhero to the cartoonishly villainous local businesspeople who prompt May's aforementioned "super heroics" when confronting her about opening F.E.A.S.T.  It all feels rushed, as Taylor is more than capable of providing a better script that got across the same message.

Invaders #6:  Zdarsky continues to make this series tense and unexpected as something that almost never happens in the Marvel Universe does here:  the heroes lose.  Cap fails to stop Namor from launching his bomb, which turns 3,000 people in a coastal Maine town (as well as Nay and Roman) into Atlanteans.  Zdarksy also doesn't avoid pinning blame on Steve; in a character-honest approach, he has Tony frequently point out the fact that he told Steve they needed to act and not try to reason with Namor.  I'm intrigued to see if Steve doubles down next issue on his belief that he can save Namor or if he accepts that he's too far gone.

Transformers #7:  I had been disappointed by the slow pace of this series, but Ruckley really kicks it up a notch here.  I can't believe he actually killed off Rubble!  Bumblebee is devastated, and LaFuente and Burcham do a spectacular job here using the all-yellow panels to convey his grief, letting us know Rubble is dead before we're told. That event is the catalyst for all sorts of developments.

First, Ratchet informs Prowl that the modus operandi is different from the one that Brainstorm's murderer used, meaning that Cybertron has two different killers on the loose.  Bumblebee isn't the only Transformer feeling guilt, as Prowl tells Chromia that he's going to get revenge, blaming himself for not finding the Voin more quickly.  Ironhide informs Orion that Sentinel Prime, Starscream, and Nautica will all return from their colony tour once they reach the nearest Spacebridge; Ironhide isn't sure if it's a good or a bad thing.

Bumblebee visits the Ascenticon Guard after his conversation with Senator Soundwave last issue.  Bumblebee tells Elita-1 that he needs to do something, as Cybertronians are dying, but Refraktor and Skytred make it clear that they don't want a Security reject on the team.  Elita-1 isn't buying their toxic masculinity, telling Bumbleebee that the Guard wants to bring about the orderly and safe change that must come, as the Autobots' way of restraint is clearly not helping anyone.  (Ruckley does a great job here of showing how the Ascenticons have a point.  I'm also assuming Ascenticons are behind the murders.)  But, Skytred can't keep his mouth shut and teases Bumblebee over Rubble's murder, sparking a fight between them and Refraktor.  Elita-1 breaks up the fight, and Bumblebee notes that he isn't wanted, but also wonders where Quake is.  (Dun-dun-DUN!)

Meanwhile, Cyclonus is clearly cuckoo for cocoa puffs, as he's haunted by the ghosts of Gridlock, Highfire, and an unidentified Transformer.  Gridlock says Cyclonus is broken after Highfire wonders why he would hang around the Memorial Crater, the site of the last battle in the war "against the Threefold Spark."  It seems the three frequently haunt Cyclonus (who Gridlock calls "boss").  Highfire encourages Cyclonus to stay focused on the "mission," but Gridlock tells him that he's wasting his time, because the war has ended and "Exarchon's gone."  Cyclonus says that no one knows that, and he's surprised when he finds a loose cable at the Crater, part of his lament that no one is performing the necessary upkeep.  He's surprised again when a smallish Transformer opens fire on him.

Again, Rubble's murder really injected some much needed energy into this series.  I'm intrigued to see where we go from here.

Also Read:  Star Wars:  Vader - Dark Visions #5

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The May 8 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Detective Comics #1,003:  Given the state of affairs in "Batman," this series is pretty much the only coherent Batman series.  After a somewhat rough start, Tomasi finds his footing here.  First, he doesn't drag out the mystery of the Arkham Knight's identity too long:  as Batman and Robin arrive at Arkham, we learn that she's Jeremiah Arkham's daughter.  If she isn't going to be Jason Todd per the video game, Tomasi at least makes her connection to "Arkham" make sense.  That said, her grand plan still doesn't make any sense to me:  she's fixated on the "eclipse" that she's going to bring to Gotham to blot out Batman's shadow.  But, Tomasi has plenty of time to tease out her motivations.  Right now I'm just glad to be reading a Batman story with characters engaging in dialogue and not just quoting non sequitur lines of poetry.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #6:  This issue is an ode to "Amazing Spider-Man" #246, or "The Kid Who Collects Spider-Man," and a fitting one at that.  Taylor reimagines the story for the current era, where Spider-Man would've worked with the parents of a kid dying of cancer to create an entire adventure for him.  It's the sort of story that Taylor (and Zdarksy before him on "Spectacular Spider-Man") has been delivering for a while and exactly the sort of story that we've been missing in "Amazing Spider-Man" for a long time.  Although it might lack the punch of "Amazing Spider-Man" #246, I'm thrilled to see Taylor swinging for the fences.

Invaders #5:  Zdarsky continues to tell a tight story here.  We learn that Roman was positioned at the base not to prevent the U.S. Navy from launching missiles, but to launch them, so Namor could justify his strike.  Cap sends the Avengers to Atlantis, but Namor outsmarts him by hiding the missiles right off the U.S. coast.  You don't often expect to see the bad guy win here, but he does, as we see a series of bombs successfully explode.  Next issue, we'll see what they wrought.  Also, Zdarsky assures us that Bucky isn't, in fact, an idiot, as we learn that he put blanks in his gun.  In other words, Zdarsky really keeps you guessing, which is impressive given the fact that he's dealing with 70-year-old characters.

X-Force #7:  This series continues to be well plotted and scripted, though I feel like we're just re-treading ground that we covered in the '90s.  That said, my only real complaint is that Brisson throws "the Zoo Family" and "the Circle" at us here without any real explanation.  It's hard enough to keep all the various factions in the Transian war in the present and Askani war in the future straight without more players getting randomly added.  Cannonball and Shatterstar steal some sort of ion engine that Deathlok needs to activate the time portal that Stryfe left behind.  They seem to steal it from the Zoo Family, but the Circle also claims it?  I don't know.  I feel like they could've just stolen it from some random thugs without fan-wanking the three people who might recognize either team.  Overall, we're solid, but I'm still not sure how much longer I'm going to hang in here.

Also Read:  Captain America #10; Conan the Barbarian #6; War of the Realms:  Journey into Mystery #2

Not-Very-New Comics!: The April 10 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  The Marvelous X-Men #3:  We’re halfway through this event, and I’m still not quite sure what story Marvel is telling here.  At this stage, we seem to have two main conflicts:  Apocalypse is calling for the mutants of this reality to embrace love, and X-Man is struggling to keep his hold on everyone.  Even the other two series I’m reading — "Prisoner X" and "The X-Tremists" — are focused on these two conflicts.  But, the larger point isn’t particularly clear to me.  The original Age of Apocalypse was exciting because you got to see familiar characters making different decisions and living different lives based on their new shared history.  Plus, Bishop was starting to remember his past, which would allow him to undo Legion's assassination of Professor X.  It all came together as you watched the X-Men, different as they now were, sacrifice themselves for a better world.  In Age of X-Man, X-Man is making everyone live these different lives, so it's a lot less interesting.  Plus, the scope of the differences is narrower:  it’s pretty much just the same people arguing over love with a script they've been handed.  Moreover, at this stage, no one's even really trying to return them to reality, as Bishop was in Age of Apocalypse.  Magneto comes the closest at least to discovering the truth, as he realizes that they all seem to be aware of memories of a previous life, one that might be the real one.  But, he doesn't really do anything with this insight; he still commits to confronting Apocalypse at the Xavier Day event in London.  The only theme I can tease from these issues is a critique of the majority's predisposition to embracing authority, but I'm not sure that's really all that interesting in the way it's presented here, since, again, no one is consciously making that decision.

Avengers:  No Road Home #9-#10:  Man, this series flew right off the rails.  The last few issues haven't been great, as the authors have let the story wander.  But, we never really return to a clear path.  It turns out it wasn't about Hercules seeking redemption or the Hulk seeking power.  It was about...Marvel's 80th anniversary?  Throughout the series, the authors gave conflicting motivations for Nyx.  In issue #9, she says it's revenge, but didn't she get that when she (easily) murdered all the Olympian gods?  In issue #10, she seeks to remake the Universe without light, but never seems to understand that she'd rule over a dead Universe.  Then, it all collapses under its own weight when Nyx inexplicably discovers the house that she's seen several times is the "House of Ideas."  Vision follows her through the doors, and he uses his imagination to defeat her, sending team after team of Avengers at her.  Of course, the authors never have Nyx use her imagination to fight fire with fire:  after a few millennia in Zeus' jail cell, you would've figure she'd have thought up some sort of tortures she could've deployed to save herself.  Moreover, Vision acknowledges that he didn't kill Nyx; she's essentially just...gone?  I get the House of Ideas reference like every other kid who read Marvel comics in the 1970s and 1980s.  But, I honestly have no idea why the authors weaved it in here.  It made the series feel like one of those promotional comics you used to get in that era, like when the X-Men were inexplicably shilling for Pizza Hut.  (I totally made my parents go to Pizza Hut for that reason, obviously.)  Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, we then get everything essentially ret-conned, as the Olympian gods are now essentially Flash Gordoned with their Buck Rogers fashions?  I mean, we even end with Hercules standing facing the camera, if you will, despite the fact he's actually shaking someone's hand.  Ugh.  "Avengers:  No Surrender" was a fun romp with a great cast, and I'm sad that its successor series turned out so mediocre.

Invaders #1-#4:  This story is very, very different from the ones I’m used to reading from Chip Zdarsky, but I am very much not complaining.  It’s really one of the more gripping treatments of Namor and, frankly, Cap, that I’ve read in a long time.  This series continues the story started in “Avengers,” with Namor preparing for his war on the surface world.  But, it goes to all new places.

In the first issue, Namor brings a group of secessionist Atlantean militants to heel, using his newfound powers over water to awe them into servitude.  On the surface, Jim Hammond is writing a book about the Invaders.  After interviewing Cap, he travels to Maine to visit Randall Johnson, one of the soldiers who served in their support unit.  In flashbacks, we see the Invaders dealing with the aftermath of a battle where a few members of their support unit, including a kid named Tommy, died.  Namor was particularly close to Tommy, and we see him engaging in his usual terrible behavior in the days after Tommy's death to avoid dealing with the loss.  Equally usual, we see Steve convince Namor to grieve.  These stories collide in a brilliant way at the end:  in a flashback, we learn that Tommy’s last name was Machan (from his dog tags), the same name as Namor’s consigliere.  Then, through the eyes of the defeated separatists, we learn only Namor can see Machan.  Dun-dun-DUN!  In one fell swoop, Zdarsky ups the ante, as we’re now dealing with Mad King Namor.  These sorts of reveals are usually cheesy as hell, but Zdarsky built to this moment beautifully; it was legitimately chilling.

The other main development is issue #1 is Jim stumbling upon a photo of Namor, during the period after the war where he was amnesiac, standing with Charles Xavier.  Randall’s daughter Nay (named after Namor) hastens to cover up the photo, and Jim is now reasonably suspicious about it.  Meanwhile, in issue #2, Cap tries to confront Namor, which goes as poorly as expected; but, he also catches a glimpse of Hydro-Man, understanding Namor’s newfound powers.  We learn Cap’s confrontation was just a ruse so Bucky had time to root through Namor’s room.  (Tricky, tricky Steve.)  Meeting with Cap and Jim later, Bucky reveals that Namor’s making a bomb to exterminate humanity.  Meanwhile, Nay signals for Namor, grateful for everything he’s apparently done for her son.  Namor is unconcerned about Steve and company exploring his past with Charles, seeing it as a wild-goose chase, but he encourages Nay to destroy all the other evidence. But, Zdarsky raises the stakes here as “Machan” encourages Namor to kills the Johnsons and rid himself of the liability.

Everything goes from bad to worse in issue #3.  Cap informs the Avengers, and, despite Tony seeking to confront Namor immediately, Cap is reasonably certain T’Challa will give him the space he needs to try to reason with Namor on his own.  He and Hammond travel to the naval base working on underwater warfare, established to address the threat that the U.S. government (correctly) sees Namor as posing.  The base’s commander is appalled when Cap informs her that the base may be in danger but then asks her not to attack Namor.  Zdarsky does a great job here, as it’s getting harder and harder to side with Steve and his desire to reason with Namor, particularly if you’re not aware of his fragile mental state.  But, the visit is again revealed as a ruse as Bucky tries to sabotage the bomb that the base is developing, because it has the raw materials that Namor needs for his bomb.  Bucky recruits a lab worker to help him while Cap takes selfies with the base’s enlisted men.  But, Zdarsky doesn’t stick his head in the sand here:  one of the soldiers confronts Cap over his connection to the Supreme Commander, noting that the heroes play at gods while they watch their friends die.  It’s a moving moment, and Cap has no response.  It’s a perfect companion to what Coates is doing in “Captain America,” showing the lack of trust the world is starting to have in its “heroes.”  Cap and Jim then visit Randall, who tells Cap that Namor thought that he cured the “oxygen imbalance” that previously explained his “temperament.”  But, Randall somewhat convincingly argues that Namor has no true home but war and needs Cap’s help.  But, Nay has again signaled Namor, and he attacks, flinging Cap into the ocean.  Jim rushes to save him, while Randall confronts Namor.  Namor now seems more concerned about the Xavier connection, and Randall asks if he’s willing to destroy all the evidence, namely Randall and Nay.  Randall then unexpectedly dies of a heart attack.  His last words show his worry about who is going to save Namor now that he's gone, and it seems likely that his death will just push Namor further over the edge.  But, it does make Nay realize that she needs to help Cap and Jim.

She does so in issue #4.  We learn that Namor spent long periods of time with the Johnsons, interrupted by periods where he returned to Atlantis.  He was tormented by his memories of the war during this period.  Then, Charles Xavier arrived.  It was the time before he created Cerebro, so the only way he could find other mutants was to be near them.  Charles recruits Namor to help him find mutants like them.  Zdarsky makes it clear that it’s the cocky, reckless Xavier that we're getting here; he specifically mentions how the term homo superior unnerved Jim, but Xavier had his “hooks” in Namor.  (Knowing Charles, he probably was telepathically manipulating him.)  But, to Namor’s frustration, they fail in finding new mutants.  (There’s a great scene of them walking in the woods with Wolverine using his claws to hide in a tree above them.)  But, they finally encounter one, a young man who had been turning animals into humans (who still acted like cats and dogs, drawing a certain amount of attention to the town).  Charles is thrilled, seeing him as using his ability to change species to create more mutants.  Namor rightly calls Charles an idiot, predicting that they’ll use him to exterminate mutants.  It all becomes moot when the cops kill him after he turns one of them into a cat.  Namor is enraged and attacks the cops.  Charles, in what will become a long line of brilliant moves, invades Xavier’s mind, creating a telepathic version of Tommy to serve as Namor’s in-mind therapist, since he trusted him.  But, Namor resists, and Tommy instead becomes Machan, urging him to win the war.  (Thanks, Charles.)  From there, the story continues as we know it.  Namor eventually regained his memories and returned to the Johnson’s, taking Nay’s son Roman under his wing.  In the present, we see the consequences of that.  The lab technician shoots Bucky in the head with the gun that he (pretty stupidly) gave her in issue #3, revealing that she’s working with Roman...who’s working at the base.  Unaware of Bucky’s plight, Cap and Jim head out looking for a telepath who might be able to heal Namor.

In other words, wow.  I haven't read this sort of tightly scripted thrilled since I think Bucky's time as Captain America.  Zdarsky isn't giving us brightly spandexed heroes here, but complex humans trying to do the right thing even though they're not entirely sure that they are.  It's a great story, and I recommend for anyone.

West Coast Avengers #10:  I am devastated this series is ending.  It was such an amazing breath of fresh air, full of feelings and fun and heart.  I am glad Thompson was able to advance the story of Kate's mom, and I totally bought the idea that her evil father somehow turned her into a vampire.  I somewhat less bought the idea that Johnny and Noh-Varr were suddenly in love (or, more accurately, in lust with another).  The sitcomesque group laugh after Kate wondered if she had ever dated anyone straight was funny, I guess?  But, you could tell it was rushed, and that devastates me, because this series deserved so much more.  I can't believe I'm not going to see Jeff the Landshark happily sitting in Quentin's lap anymore.  [Sigh.]  Kelly Thompson continues to be one of the best assets that Marvel has, and I hope Marvel finds something awesome to give her.  Paging a Young Avengers reboot, anyone?

X-Force #6:  In this issue, Hopeless really manages to unify a lot of threads from numerous stories not just over the last few months, but over the last few years.  He essentially uses the events of "Extermination" to reboot Cable, Stryfe, and their shared history entirely.

The core struggle between them remains the same as it was in the 1990s:  Apocalypse groomed Stryfe to take his essence, but he recanted when he realized Stryfe was Nathan's clone.  Stryfe believes himself to be the original Nathan, and he and Nathan go to war, causing destruction all around them.  Stryfe laments that destruction in this issue, wondering in his own megalomaniacal way how everything went so wrong.  (He's essentially mad he rules over a dead world.)  We learn that he and Clan Chosen are essentially at a standstill, and he's in desperate need of soldiers to gain the upper hand.  He gets that opportunity when a brief temporal storm leads the MLF to Nathan's headquarters and then to their journey into the past to find Cable.  Stryfe recognizes his chance in Transnia, providing its leaders with futuristic weapons in exchange for them giving mutants refuge.  The Transnians unknowingly then give him his army as he convinces the mutants to follow him into the future to live in the mutant Utopia that he's promised.  But, he then engineers the deaths of dozens of the refugees in transit to said Utopia, claiming that the same forces of oppression in the future destroyed the transport.  The refugees then rally to his cause.  Moreover, while in Transnia, he learns that its leaders have not only captured Ahab but also Rachel, and Stryfe brings her into the future with him.  In said future, Clan Chosen has been reconstituted after Nathan successfully ended the temporal storm when he returned the original X-Men to the past.  Clan Chosen is trying to find Cable when Rachel and her fellow hound attack.  In the present, Stryfe informs Kid Cable that he's captured Clan Chosen, has Mother Askani, and plans to have his MLF kill X-Force (whose assess they're kicking) if he doesn't surrender.  He does, and into the future they go.  If you're a fan of the 1990s stories about Cable and Stryfe, as I am, it's hard to be disappointed here.  Hopeless gets the, well, hopelessness of their relationship.  I'm hoping (heh) in the subsequent issues he examines the core struggle of identity that lies at the heart of their story.  But, for now, I'm a happy camper.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #19; Star Wars:  Age of Rebellion - Princess Leia #1