Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The April 24 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dawnrunner #2:  The art in this series is beautiful except, ironically, for the battle sequences, which are almost impossible to follow.

The day after Dawnrunner's debut, Anita meets with her daughter, Annie, while wearing a Hazmat suit.  Eventually, other people in Hazmat suits approach and tell Anita that it's time for Annie to return to the "hypo-u," because they can't risk exposure anymore.  I initially thought they were protecting Annie from Anita, but then Anita leaves the facility without a Hazmat suit.  Outside, she finds Lestern in his car, and he offers her a ride to campus.  He asks about Annie, and Anita exposits that Annie has a disease that tricks her body into attacking itself and that it likely came from the Tetza.

But Anita sees through Lestern's fake concern and asks why he's there.  He tells her they lost contact with her for four minutes and eighteen seconds, and the world came close to losing its shit during that time.  In a flashback, Anita recalls that she was unable to control Dawnrunner while stuck in Ichiro's memories and the Tetza was winning.  Then Ichiro jumpstarted a car in his memories and, when the engine sparked, it awakened Anita and she brutally took down the Tetza.  But, when Lestern again prompts her to tell him what happened during the time they lost contact, she simply responds that it's his people's responsibility to find out what happened.

At the lab, Cat tells Anita that Lestern has managed to turn the debacle into a PR success, telling the people that Anita is so good she put on a bit of a show for everyone.  Anita tells Cat that she can't really remember anything, just flashes of "things, faces, images."  Then, Cat drops the bomb:  the Dawnrunner's innovation is that Cordonware has been preserving the brains of deceased combatants since the Tetza arrived and it used Ichiro's mind as Dawnrunner's processors, reducing the lag between the human pilot initiating an action and the IK undertaking it.  Anita asks if she can enter Dawnrunner again, just to connect to the neural link with Ichiro, and Cat rules out the possibility.

After Anita leaves, Murali chases her, telling her that he can connect her so long as he gets to download everything she senses, since it represents "untapped data on the Tetza from the contact event."  Anita agrees and finds herself engaged with Ichiro more seamlessly:  he recognizes she's there and they're able to talk to each other.  She follows him (so to speak) as he heads to the research facility to find his family.  In despair over the devastation he finds, Ichiro gives up hope, but Anita encourages him to keep looking.  Suddenly, his children emerge from under some rubble.

This issue definitely rights the ship quite a bit.  Other than the incomprehensible battle scenes, it's an intriguing story.  I'm still not sure I'd hang in there longer than five issues, but I'm happy to hang in there three more issues to see what happens.

Duke #5:  Oof, we are going places, people.

This mini-series seamlessly sets up the "Destro" one, as Duke accuses Destro of using a robot who transformed from a jet (i.e., Starscream) to kill Frost and thereby informs Destro of the Transformers' existence.  Destro offers Duke a place at his side, which I initially thought Duke was going to take thanks to great panel sequencing on Williamson's part.  But Duke refuses the offer by headbutting Destro, a somewhat futile move given Destro's helmet but one that underscores Duke's grit.

Destro leaves his HQ and orders his minion, Scrap-Iron, to burn it to the ground as he also leaves Duke to survive a fight with a Battle Action Trooper (B.A.T.).  Duke manages to defeat the B.A.T., displaying his combat genius as he improvises moves and weapons to stay in the fight.  As he recalls Frost's death, Duke amps up his ferocity and brutally destroys the B.A.T.

With the public thinking Duke dead (given his presence in the destroyed M.A.R.S. HQ), Hawk admits to Duke at his bedside that he manipulated him into going after Destro and M.A.R.S.  Before Duke can tell him to go fuck himself, Hawk brings him to the Pit, where Clutch is working on creating the installation that we all now know.  Hawk also shows Duke security footage of Optimus Prime and asks Duke to lead the team that he's assembling to get more information about the Transformers.  Duke agrees but modifies the mission to destroying them.

Again, this series was excellent in no small part because Williamson really centers Duke's determination and pain.  He isn't just some superhuman hero, but a man on a quest to avenge his friend.  I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Dungeons & Dragons:  Saturday Morning Adventures II #4:  This issue is better than the last one but, oof, it still isn't great.

The kids wait with Jarlaxle on the Luskan shore as a storm blows into the city.  Hank is concerned that Drizzt and Dungeon Master are late, but Jarlaxle cautions him against taking the Flyin' Maiden to find them.  Based on Hank's comment about "home," Jarlaxle asks Hank to explain their situation to him, which he does.  Jarlaxle wonders why someone as powerful as Dungeon Master can't just send them home and then comments, wryly, that "those with power rarely use it to help others without expecting something in return."  (He humorously notes Minsc and Boo are the exception.)

Diana encourages Sheila to stop wondering if Bobby is mad at her and actually talk with him, which she does.  It prompts a reconciliation, as Diana pledges to treat him more like an adult and Bobby acknowledges that she's going to worry about him no matter how old he is.  As the storm worsens, Bobby demands that they take the Maiden to find Dungeon Master, but Jarlaxle pulls a fast one, noting the Maiden is the price for his help.  Hank notes that he got all of Wrathun's treasure (did he?), but Jarlaxle is unmoved.  The gang gets ready to attack him.

Before Bobby can bodyslam Jarlaxle, Guenhwyvar tackles him for kisses and snuggles and Drizzt arrives.  Drizzt notes that the kids ridding Luskan's shores of Wrathun was a fair price for Jarlaxle's help, and Jarlaxle tells him he'd kill anyone who said that to him other than Drizzt.  Then, they shake like bros.  Yes, it's totally random.

Anyway, Dungeon Master is dying, and he's apparently sussed out Venger as the culprit.  "He has found a way to siphon my power to add to his own."  Does anyone explain that?  No.  Whatever.  Let's just ride this cart to the end.  

Of course, Venger appears, and Presto figures out Dungeon Master's riddle means that he can using Wrathun's healing staff to steal back Dungeon Master's power and Venger's power.   He then infuses both powers into Dungeon Master, who uses them to open the portal for the kids to return home.

[Sigh.  Prepare yourself, here.]  Venger informs the team that Dungeon Master and Venger will die if they enter the portal as the portal consumers magic.  (Given the endless number of spells that allow walking between worlds, this explanation makes no sense.)  Dungeon Master confirms Venger's assertion and says he's willing to sacrifice himself.  Eric — Eric — then says no because Dungeon Master is part of their team.  Fine.  Whatever.

Anyway, Jarlaxle takes Venger to a Luskan prison, Minsc and Boo go with Drizzt to Iceland Dale to battle ice trolls, and the kids agree to help some kid who suddenly appears asking for help to rid his village of ankheg.  

I wanted this series to do so well, but the random developments in issue #3 and this one were serious disappointments.  Oh, well.  I'll still probably buy a sequel.

If You Find This, I'm Already Dead #3:  Oof.  I didn't see where we were going here!

Robin informs us that the man at the center of all things is named Brand and that he's been on Terminus for five years.  You initially think she's learned that from her conversation with Brand, but it becomes clear later that Robin came to Terminus with that knowledge.

Brand exposits his origin story as they walk.  He was part of the expeditionary team that first arrived on Terminus.  The Skrulls, whom he calls "Dirt Eaters," captured him and then tortured and brainwashed him and his teammates.  Robin informs us that Brand lost his mind rather than submit to the brainwashing and killed his teammates.  In fact, it isn't even clear if the Dirt Eater really tried to brainwash him or if he simply snapped in the face of their "inhuman...customs."  That said, we do see in his memory the Dirt Eaters plucking an eye from his head, so it isn't hard to see why he lost his mind.  

Robin tries to draw out Brand's humanity, telling him that he was known for his intellect, that the military called him the "warrior-scientist."  Brand explains his background in genetics allowed him to create the Prongs (i.e., the Tuning Forks).  Since "all anyone wants is to feel superior to someone else," he used the Prongs as his own personal army.  

Robin tells us that Brand continued to ramble, including about making her his queen.  A Prong takes her to a cell, and she says something in alien.  She must've convinced the Prong of whatever she was saying, because he hits a button and she falls into an underground river.  She then reveals that the military asked her to find and kill Brand.  She refused but hypothesizes that the military gave everyone else on her team the same mission.  

Traveling through the sewers, she finds the creature who previously digested her in issue #2, who I initially thought was Terminus in that issue.  She somehow realizes that she should attempt to bond with it, and, in so doing, we see glimpses of her past:  for example, I'm pretty sure she became a war correspondent after losing her family in a bombing of some sort.  For her part, she realizes the creature is one of the gods originally sent to Terminus for battle.

Now bonded, she and the creature rise as one.  Brand sees the threat and enters the god that he himself created, and we get a good ol' fashioned kaiju battle.  But the battle awakens other gods, who join Robin in the fight.  After defeating Brand, the gods excess their gratitude for letting them fight one last time and open a portal for Robin to return home before resuming their sleep.

In the epilogue, Robin reveals that society fractured after she told her tale.  Knowing an alien race existed largely caused humanity to lose its faith in religion, at least as they existed at the time.  Some in society believe her; some don't.  Some want her dead; others see her as a messiah.  Robin reflects on the irony that she learned that gods do exist, but most of the ones she found are dead.

Overall, Kindt somehow told an incredibly complicated story over only three issues.  Usually in these situations, I'm left feeling like we needed more issues, but Kindt really nailed the pacing here.  I definitely recommend.

Star Wars:  Jango Fett #2:  This issue is fun because Jango is pretty evenly matched, making it unclear which bounty hunter — him, Aurra Sing, or Vigor Struk — is going to find the Hope of Glee Anselm first.

On Level 1313 of Coruscant, the "heart of the black market," Jango enters an office to find a group of Anselmi speaking with an information broker.  The Anselmi leader tells Jango that they're on a secret operation to recover the Hope and can't leave behind any witnesses.  Jango then thanks the Anselmi for standing so close together and uses the Whistling Bird to eliminate them.  

Jango tells the broker that he's been working over fences to get a lead (which we apparently saw in "Star Wars:  Revelations (2023)" #1 though I don't remember that), but he's got nothing.  The broker tells him that they picked up a recording of a ship leaving Jaloria after the heist, when the ports were shut.  Jango takes the recording and tells the broker to consider it a fair trade for sparing their life.  As Jango boards Slave 1, Aurra Sing tags him with a tracer after Judicial Huijari tells her not to kill Jango.

Fairok of the Nautolans contacts Jango while he's flying Slave 1 and tells him that he's calling off his contract, but Jango reminds him that only the Republic can do that.  He then cuts off Fairok to speak with Kligson (!), who identified the ship that left Jaloria as a garbage scow of the type only used on Hallitron-7 in the Jalor Sector.  

On Hallitron-7, Jango shakes down Renzoh Silliace, a guy who works in the junkyard for the Blood Oath Syndicate and who confirms that he was paid a lot to transport the thief and the Hope.  But Renzoh tells Jango it was a double-cross — whoever paid the thief planned on killing her.  Since the thief was just a kid, Renzoh decided to help her escape.  Before Renzoh can say more, Vigor Struk arrives.  Meanwhile, Aurra heads into Renzoh's office while Huijari heads to where Jango and Vigor are fighting.

Vigor is giving Jango a run for his money, and Renzoh flees the scene — only for Huijari, surprisingly, to kill him.  Jango calls Slave 1 to save him, and Aurra finds Huijari and tells him that the thief left Hallitron-7 on a commuter ship to Coruscant but the ship makes supply drops to the "remote mining colony of Roxuli," an excellent place to hide  On Slave 1, Jango is frustrated that he has no leads only for someone, presumably the thief, to send him a message to meet them on Roxuli.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The March 20 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #11:  This issue is a rare misstep for Johnson, as Ash takes a total fucking leave of her senses.

Picking up where we left off last issue, Cal gives Ash the name of his contact, telling Ash that the contact sources materials for Niander Wallace, Jr. and warning Ash that the woman is very dangerous.  

Meanwhile, at Wallace, Jr.'s, an LAPD captain informs him of Luv's disappearance and complains that Wallace, Jr. provided them with a faulty product.  (That's some chutzpah.)  At the Underground's headquarters, though, it turns out Luv isn't dead — she's a live and captive, tied to a chair.  Referring to Rash as a thing, Ash tells Freysa that they can't trust her.  Rash offers to help get Ash close to Wallace, Jr., and Ash — not unreasonably — tells Rash that she doesn't trust her enough for that.  Ash suddenly has a spell, and Freysa convinces her to take Rash with her to see Cal's contact.

As they fly to a nice villa, Ash again treats Rash as a thing, calling her a "machine built for murder."  Rash — also not unreasonably — points out the "old man in San Francisco" was trying to kill her.  At the villa, a small Japanese woman named Daisy greets them and offers them tea.   When Ash tells her that they're there for information about Wallace, Jr., Daisy refers to him as "Nandy" and informs them that she was his nursemaid.

When Ash insists on asking questions, Daisy calls in her pleasure model, an enormous dude named Hanii.  (Good for her, though.  "Nandy" obviously hooked her up well.)  Ash tells Daisy to cut the shit and asks what she sources for "Nandy."  Daisy replies that she gets goods you can't buy — "organic," "fresh."  Ash informs Daisy that she (Daisy) is going to set up a meeting with Wallace, Jr. for them at their usual spot; she tells Daisy to tell him that it's urgent and to come alone.  When Daisy reasonably asks why she would do that, Ash tells her that both she and Hanii will be picking up each other's teeth if she doesn't.

I need to stress her how huge Hanii is (and, no, I don't mean huge that way, though he probably is).  I get Ash sees herself as dangerous, but it's hard to believe that Ash —who just had a spell that prompted Rash to come as an escort — would seriously think she could threaten Daisy into setting up a trap for Wallace, Jr., even with Rash with her.  If it were that easy, someone would've offed him ages ago.

At any rate, later, at the Griffin Observatory, Wallace, Jr. is prepared for Ash, who shoves a bound Luv at him.  He informs Ash that he read about her "affliction" in her police file (which he used to build Rash) and devised a cure for it, which is how we end the issue.

Again, my main complaint here is that I don't believe Wallace, Jr. would be so easy to meet.  I get Daisy is in Wallace, Jr.'s inner circle and it's a sign of Cal's connections that he could get Ash to her.  But I don't believe Wallace, Jr. would leave himself so vulnerable, even if he was prepared for Ash (as he is here).  Also the idea that Daisy would set up the meeting but not warn Wallace, Jr. is absurd.

Also, since we're resurrected pet peeves, we get an example of pet peeve #1 here, since Cal is only in this issue for a hot minute despite featuring prominently on the cover.

Cobra Commander #3:  This series remains bloody and fun.

Ripper enters the Dreadnoks' bar with Zarana and shoots one of the patrons to get everyone's attention.  (Heh.)  Zarana reveals an Energon cube, which she calls "The Juice," expositing that they've all seen what it can do, that it's a kind of fuel unlike anything they've ever seen.  In order to sell it to the highest bidder, Zarana reminds the Dreadnoks that they need to make sure no one steals it first.  She informs them that Buzzer and Ripper saw someone sniffing around her brother's "old lab." 

On cue, Zarana's other brother, Zandar, interrupts, arriving with a chained up CC, whom he's dragged from the alligator pit.  Zarana remind her those swamps are off-limits (for reasons she doesn't explain), and Zandar dismisses her outrage, saying that he was trying to find the "good stuff."  Buzzer tries to remove CC's helmet and gets shocked.  Zarana asks who he is, and CC responds, "Your future master."  (Heh.)  Torch tries to use his blowtorch to get off the helmet but it doesn't work.  

Over the course of several panels, we witness the Dreadnoks torturing CC for information.  (At one point, Ripper hilariously uses CC's blood to draw a smiley face on his helmet.)  Later, Zandar tells CC that he isn't like the other idiots — he does his homework — and notes that he's never seen the type of tech that CC is sporting, even on "the darkest parts of the web."  CC tells Zandar that his brother (clearly Zartan) sent him on a secret mission because Zarana called him for help because she doesn't trust Zandar.  Zandar falls for it and storms from the room.  

Ripper then enters and CC tells him that he (somehow) knows that he was a former teacher obsessed with biker gangs.  Ripper apparently threw away his old life and "got lost in the role," which is why he plays extra tough.  Zarana and Torch then arrive, and CC taunts Zarana, asking if she's worried about Zandar because she's worried about losing control.  At this point, Buzzer, Ripper, and Zandar break into the room in a brawl, and CC hits his tracking device, which he earlier disabled.  The Dreadnoks then assemble outside in time for Protector to arrive.  

CC stumbles into Protector's arms and Protector breaks his chains.  Ripper then attacks Protector's face with his chainsaw, but it turns out it really isn't his face.  CC informs Protector that he's found the Energon, which, to Protector's mind, means the Dreadnoks are trying to deny Golobulus his due.  Protector then gets rid of his disguise, emerging from his outer skin with glowing yellow eyes and wings.  We're then treated to three panels of CC's unmoving, smiley face-d helmet as the Dreadnoks scream in agony and pain.

I kind of feel badly for the Dreadnoks, honestly.

Dawnrunner #1:  In terms of the story, the issue feels takes itself too seriously given Ram V is treading familiar ground here.  

First things first, this issue is beautiful, reminiscent of the dearly departed "Nonplayer."  My only complaint about the art is that it's so detailed that it's occasionally hard to tell what's happening, as if the lines in all their multitude get in their own way.

Moving onto the story, Ram sets out the premise well, giving details as we need them and not overwhelming us with information.  Ninety-six years ago, a portal, dubbed el Desgarrón, opened over Guatemala, and a race called the Tetza entered our world.  The Tetza were "an alien species with emergent and varying morphology," the only commonality being their "gargantuan size and the near-impervious nature of their skin."

In response, humanity did two things to survive.  First, in the "largest military effort in human history," we built "the Wall," an 1,800-mile long, 100-foot tall structure that locks the Tetza in a specific geographic enclosure.  Second, nations dissolved, and Earth's resources went to five corporations that build Iron Kings, or IK, the mecha that humanity uses to take out the Tetza.

Our introduction to the IK comes through the eyes of Anita Marr, an IK pilot, as she take control of Dawnrunner, the Cordonware Corporation's next-gen IK.  Given the attention she generates in the media on her run, it's clear the pilots are celebrities.  They're essentially athletes, as we see when a pilot named Xander tries to psyche out Anita by reminding her that he's only two kills behind her.  As she starts her preparations with her escort, Anita wonders how humanity turned something that was previously an existential threat into a sport.

The issue's sense of foreboding comes from a conversation between Cordonware's CEO, Andro Lestern, and a linguist named Murali.  Murali bursts in Lestern's office, furious that he's trying out Dawnrunner on a sole Tetza when they had an agreed Cordonware would only take action if at least three Tetza were present in the enclosure.  Murali complains that he can't study the Tetza if Lestern keeps killing them, but Lestern, not unreasonably, notes that the linguists have spent almost a century studying the Tetza and still can't tell "a Tetza poem from a fart."

Later, it all comes together as Lestern explains to, I believe, the CEOs of the other four corporations that Dawnrunner and Anita will now connect to each other directly; instead of the pilot manipulating the IK's controls, it'll be like they're the same person.  Meanwhile, Anita engages in combat with the Tetza, only unexpectedly finding herself merging with someone else's consciousness.

Ram doesn't clarify when we are, but it seems likely it's the past, when the Tetza first arrived.  Against the backdrop of a devastated city, a fellow soldier rouses Major Ichiro Takeda and informs him the military is preparing to drop "the heavy stuff" on the Tetza.  As Takeda tries to focus, Anita is trying to pull back her consciousness.  Takeda finally gets control of the body and tells the solider that he has to get to the research complex where his wife and kids are.  The soldier tells Takeda it's gone, but Takeda insists on going to find them.  Anita and Takeda seem able to speak to each other, asking each other who the other is.  They both answer, as does Dawnrunner, ominously.

Again, Ram and Cagle are onto something here, so I'm going to hang in there.  But it took at least two reads for me to get what exactly they're presenting to us, which dampens some of the kinetic energy that they're trying to infuse into this issue.

G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero #305:  Hama throws so much at us here that I'm struggling to explain what I just read.  Not helping matters, at several points, the characters know more than they should know based on what we've seen.

In Springfield, CC and his squad examine the remains of the Vipers who detonated themselves while fighting Dawn last issue.  One of the men shows CC the surveillance video of the Vipers making their way onto the community centers's roof, and CC recognizes them as Vipers.  Despite only seeing their shadows in the video, one of CC's men comments that the Vipers were modified with Revanche technology, prompting CC to realize they came at Serpentor Khan's behest.  Hypothesizing that a third party took out the Vipers, CC orders a manhunt for the perpetrator.

At her parents', Dawn provides her report to Duke while Fred 23, the Morenos' neighbor, approaches the front door.   Fred 23 tells Moreno that the community center altercation has all of Dawn's earmarks, which seems a stretch given that the only evidence of the altercation was the three burn spots where the Vipers self-immolated and a surveillance video showing their shadows.  Fred 23 encourages them to turn in Dawn, and the Morenos attack him.  Dawn is shocked, which surprises her father, who tells her that they'd never turn her into the authorities.  They tell her to flee Springfield and that they'll follow her the next day after securing Fred 23.  (Couldn't they just secure him and leave with her?)

At the Pit, Stalker tells Lady Jaye to take Multo to Spirit so they can figure out how they're going to deal with the Vipers poking around upstairs.  Meanwhile, Airtight, Black Hat, and Mainframe are examining the remains of one of the Blue Ninjas who attacked Scarlett and Snake-Eyes, and we learn that they're 95 percent android, retaining only their human brain and spinal column.   One of the hands — despite being disconnected from the body — attacks Black Hat, though Stalker shoots it before it hurts her.

Elsewhere, Spirit informs Lady Jaye and Multo that the Vipers can't figure out the way into the Pit.  Getting permission from Duke to stop them before they find the entrance, the three Joes attack.  However, one of the Vipers manages to pull the pin from a nerve-gas grenade.  Spirit grabs his hands so he can't release the pin, and Lady Jaye kills him by shooting him in the head.  As he mentioned, though, his "hands" are cable and steel, so Lady Jaye can't move his fingers.  Instead, Multo uses his machete to cut off the hand holding the pin, handing it to Spirit.  Ha!  On Cobra Island (I told you this issue just keeps going), Serpentor Khan is apparently happy the three Vipers at the Pit have gone incommunicado, claiming it was all according to plan.

Moving to the Revanche facility in Baton Rouge, Dr. Mindbender notes a "glitch" in their covert plan there.  A Python officer supervises the mutated casino guests getting in line for their transformation when a Blue Ninja tells him that one of the chips that they're planning to install isn't on the original specs.  The Python escorts him to the storeroom, which is a comms dead zone, and attacks him, using his Clayface-like abilities to strangle him.  (He initially stabs him, and the Blue Ninja comments that he missed his power core, which the Python seems to imply he did on purpose.  But then why strangle him?)  Khan exposits that Revanche will eventually realize the Blue Ninja is missing and the subsequent investigation will reveal the chip negates Revanche control but by then it'll be too late.  (But will it be?  Like, this one Blue Ninja is the only one in Revanche that knows that they're going to install an extra chip in the dozens of mutants they've got ready to go?)

Khan and Mindbender turn their attention to Scotland, where we learn the "Zartan" we see with Destro there is a simulacrum.  They're trying to take out Zartan, as we see at the issue's end, to keep the charade going.

It's too much, honestly.  Like, I feel like we needed at least another issue to cover what Hama throws at us here for it all to make sense.