Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The January 2 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Conan the Barbarian #1:  In all my comic-collecting life, I've only read one issue of Conan.  It was a "Savage Sword of Conan" issue that a friend of mine gave me when I was in the hospital.  I remember it blowing my twelve-year-old mind:  first, it was in black-and-white, and, second, it was adult.  It had a sensibility that I didn't see in the Marvel superhero comics that I was collecting at the time; it was closer to, but still beyond, the types of stories that DC was telling.  It was cool, but I never again dipped my toes into those waters.

When I heard Jason Aaron, of all people, was going to pen the new series, I was on board in a flash.  That excitement wasn't misplaced.  Aaron hits all the notes you expect to see in a Conan comic; it feels the way I expect a Conan comic to feel.  But, it's Aaron, so it's not just Conan slaying some soldiers, drinking some ale, and bedding some wenches.  I mean, he does bed a wench, but it turns out she's actually a witch!  She poisons him with a scratch, and he awakens to find himself bound spread-eagle (sexy!) in an underground temple.  She needs blood from the greatest warrior in the land to resurrect her demon lord, which she almost accomplishes before Conan manages to break free from his bonds and kill her.  Aaron has more surprises in store when he flashes us forward decades later, as King Conan of Aquilonia reviews a battlefield littered with bodies.  As he walks among his dead opponents, he's startled to find two children.  They're not who they seem to be at first glance; they're minions of the dead witch, and it looks like they're going to fulfill her prophecy that Conan will die on this spot (just a few decades after she thought).

I've always been disappointed that we don't have more sword-and-sorcery comics.  Comics seem to be a perfect vehicle for these sorts of stories.  However, from DC's old-school "Forgotten Realms" series to the current "Dungeons and Dragons" and "Pathfinder" comics, they've always been sort of...joke-y.  They've never brought the gravitas that I'm thrilled to see Aaron bring here.  Plus, getting a chance to read Conan feels like reading the relaunched "Miracleman" series did, connecting with comics history in a way I didn't get to experience the first time.  Color me excited.

Detective Comics #995:  I like Tomasi, but this issue is just too much.  Bruce barely sounds like himself as he tries to tell Leslie what she meant to him as he and Alfred try (and fail) to treat the Joker toxin.  I'd expect some emotion from Bruce, but he's just too over the top here.  The Bruce I know would've kept focused on the task at hand until he found the answer.  Instead, he falls to pieces, a reflection of how Snyder's and King's interpretation of him as a hot-headed brawler (and not meticulously controlled detective) casts a long shadow.  Moreover, it's hard to take Leslie's death seriously.  I mean, how many times has she died?  Tomasi even doubles down on this approach, as Leslie's body isn't even cold when someone dressed as Zorro stabs Alfred.  (In an interesting note, this person somehow tricks the computer system into identifying him as Commissioner Gordon.  It's starting to feel like an inside job.)  It's here where it's unbelievable the editors weren't like, "Wait, wait, wait, we just almost offed Dick in 'Batman,' and Alfred also gets stabbed there, too!  Maybe do something else?"  Alfred survives here (shockingly, I know), and Bruce goes to Arkham to threaten the criminals there for information.  Is he going to beat up Bane again while he's at it?  Shouldn't he analyze the Joker toxin first, since it seems like a new strain?  Maybe it would help inform the questions he asks the criminals while he beats them?  After all, beating Bane senseless in "Batman" didn't help matters.  Maybe he could even, I don't know, review security-camera footage to get a better sense of who the monster that attacked Leslie was?  But, that would make him a detective, something he no longer seems to be.  [Sigh.]  Unfortunately, I also have to resurrect my "Women in Refrigerators" label here, since the only purpose Leslie's death seems to serve is to push Bruce over the edge.  I wish I had something better to say here, after last issue seemed to be a return to form for the Bat-books.  Now, I just feel like canceling them all and being done with it.

Uncanny X-Men #8:  This issue starts off well.  We learn Legion is keeping X-Man and the young X-Men in his mind; they're not physically in the reality that hosts the Age of Apocalypse.  Bishop demands the X-Men rescue the young X-Men immediately, but a freed Kitty Pryde refuses to do so, saying they need to evaluate the situation while they have Legion and X-Man distracted.  Apocalypse agrees, something that should be Kitty's first sign that she's wrong.  Knowing first-hand how awful the world the young X-Men inhabit is, Bishop has Betsy send him into Legion's mind, Kitty be damned, where he prevents Hisako from killing X-Man just in the nick of time.  The authors do a pretty solid job of showing how the year the kids spent in the Age of Apocalypse affected them, particularly when Bishop informs them they've only been gone for five minutes in the real world.  But, everything spirals into chaos when Legion follows Bishop into his own mind, setting up a confrontation in which X-Man appears to take over Legion.  It all at least makes sense, at least from a plot perspective.  But, I'll admit I've lost track of the characters' motivations here.  It seems weird that Bishop is the one advocating saving the kids and Kitty is the one telling them they should be focused on the larger threat.  It's just starting to feel like you could swap in any character with any piece of dialogue, an unfortunate side effect of these sorts of multiple-character events.  We'll see if it gets clearer soon.

The Winter Soldier #2:  Giving Bucky a sidekick is a clever idea from the boot, but making it a kid with an even more fucked up childhood than Bucky had is brilliant.  I'm intrigued where we go from here.

Also Read:  Mr. and Mrs. X #7; Shatterstar #4

Friday, February 15, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The December 19 and 26 Everyone-but-X Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Given how many events and series wrapped up December 19, this review might as well be called, "EVERYTHING ENDS!"

Batman #61:  This issue is much more gripping than King’s previous work, though it does still have King's trademark of a literary quote that advances the plot not at all.  Unfortunately, the issue has nothing to do with Batman, focusing instead on the kid who murdered his parents because he wanted to be like Bruce Wayne.  But, wait, you might ask?  Didn’t we end last issue on a cliffhanger, with Batman discovering his father, Thomas Wayne from the “Flashpoint” Universe, was colluding with Bane?  Yes, fellow reader, yes, we did.  But, I guess we have to take a good issue from Tom King when we get one.


Captain America #6:  Reading this issue, it’s easy to forget Alexa Lukin isn’t actually a person, but a character.  Coates is that good at showing the fire within her.  Alexa understands that symbols matter.  It’s why she resurrected her husband:  she knows Russia needs a leader who can inspire them while she pulls the strings from the shadows.  On the flipside, she also understands that she doesn’t need to kill Steve Rogers the man:  she just has to kill Captain America the symbol.  As such, she has someone murder Thunderbolt Ross and make it look like Steve did it.  Hydra damaged Captain America the symbol almost beyond repair:  with Alexa, we may be able to drop the “almost.”  But, Coates also makes it clear that it's not a slam dunk that she's going to win.  That warning comes from her mentor, Rasputin.  He makes two observations;  first, that she doesn’t understand the price of her “endeavor” and, second, that Lukin may not return the same man as he was.  Coates makes it clear Rasputin understands that reality from first-hand experience, and it makes his warning all the more chilling.  Coates also uses the conversation between the two of them to explain that Selene didn’t drain the lifeforce from Sharon to resurrect Lukin; she just needed a drop of his blood, as she was his killer.  Alexa then used her magic to do the rest.  I can’t wait to see where we go next.  This series now enters, like, its 14th year of awesome, after the amazing runs by Brubaker, Remember, and Spencer.  Cap fans, we are spoiled.

Darth Vader #25:  Whoa.  This issue does not disappoint.  Soule pulls out all the stops here as Vader is forced to walk through his past — as child, adolescent, and man — to get to Padmé.  (Camuncoli really seemed to enjoy the battle with the Jedi, in particular Vader spearing Yoda!)  It all leads to the moment we knew was coming, but not before the Emperor and Obi-Wan battle to see who Vader’s father (spiritually, at least) really is.  When the Emperor wins, it seems clear where the story is going.  Vader makes his way to Padmé and resumes his Anakin form.  But, Padmé tells him what we all now know:  Anakin Skywalker is dead.  (She then promptly falls off the balcony and disintegrates, to underline the point.)  Vader grieves and then he’s expelled from Forceland.  He awakens in his fortress on Mustafar, and he destroys the rock that allowed him to enter Forceland.  He then uses his communicator to tell the Emperor he’s returning, having learned the lesson he needed to learn.  Ouch.  Soule doesn’t pull any punches here, and it’s great to see.  As I’ve previously said, I read the first issue of the original series hoping we’d see an exploration of the remnants of Anakin in Vader.  Soule delivered on that hope, and he also delivers a now fully formed Vader.  Anakin Skywalker is dead.  Long live Darth Vader.

Infinity Wars #6:  This issue makes not a lick of sense.  I get the sense if I read it again it might -- maybe -- make a lick of sense.  In fact, maybe if I read all the issues together the event would make a few licks of sense.  But, I also kind of doubt it.  As far as I can tell, the Celestials show Loki his future, and he no longer needs the Infinity Stones.  As such, he returns them to Adam Warlock and the Infinity Watch, who in turn use the Stones to create a new planet and a new Universe.  The planet serves as the new home for the Warps, and the Universe is where the Infinity Watch copies all the souls of the existing Universe.  That way, when Devondra finally devours the Soul Gem and this Universe, everyone survives in the shiny new Universe.  But, there's a wrinkle:  Drax and his original self have to stay behind to keep open the portal.  Drax's original self happily survives on Warpworld, but Drax's fate isn't clear.  Once the transfer to the new Universe is complete, Moondragon and Phyla-Vell from the other Universe want Gamora dead.  But,Adam Warlock asks the Infinity Stones to send her where she's most needed (apparently in the Soul Gem to raise a child-like Magus).  He then imbues the Stones with their own souls, which makes, again, not a lick of sense, but it is what it is.  This entire event made no sense, and I regret every dollar I spent on it.  A curse on the House of Marvel!

Nightwing #55:  To be honest, this whole Ric Grayson arc is going much better than I expected.  But, I did have a moment here where I was reminded of the plot we had before this arc started, where Vicki Vale and that guy were kidnapped by some sort of artificial intelligence come to life.  I hope Vicki’s not waiting for Dick to save her.  Maybe she can spend time with Thomas Wayne while we wait for this series and "Batman" to return to their previously scheduled programming.

Old Man Hawkeye #12:  Sacks does a great job wrapping up this story.  I'll admit the fire burning through the first few issues has seemed dimmer these last few issues, but Sacks at least manages to stick the landing.  Perhaps the best moment is Kate using a sonic arrow to allow a now-blind Clint to "see" Bullseye.  He fires an arrow that not only slices in half the card Bullseye was throwing at him but also lands in Bullseye's eye.  Well done, Clint.  Bullseye dies with the word "glorious" on his lips.  (It's good for him that he doesn't survive to hear Clint confess to Kate he was aiming for his heart.)  Clint excitedly tells Kate about the scientist giving him the 99 vials of Super-Soldier Serum.  Kate realizes he's a lost cause; she had hoped killing the Thunderbolts would satiate his need for revenge, but she realizes it didn't.  She tearfully deposits him at Logan's doorstep before driving into the sunset.  My only complain is the last page seemed rushed to me, with too many panels on the page.  I didn't even realize Kate was crying at first, reducing the impact of what we realize is her final good-bye to Clint.  But, overall, Sacks delivers on the promise of the series, leaving Clint in no better place than where he began, a testament to the Wastelands if ever there was one.

Spider-geddon #5:  This issue just sort of dissolves into chaos as Gage uses a series of dei ex machina to limit the impact of the series on continuity.  To paraphrase Dickens, you're only going to like this issue if you buy the idea that Otto has found a way to use the cloning technology not only to resurrect people but also to reconfigure them.  For example, Ben sacrifices himself to Jennix so his multiple lives drive Jennix insane.  (Here, you have to accept that devouring Ben would drive Jennix insane and that Otto and Ben knew it would.)  While the rest of the team fights the Inheritors, Otto resurrects Ben, apparently restoring him to his “factory settings.”  (Remember how Peter David wrote an entire series about how Ben’s soul would be irreparably lost if he died again...and then he died again...but somehow it wasn’t lost?  But then he died again again here, but somehow he’s actually better?  I’d rather watch Ben work his way to redemption the hard way, as David planned, but Marvel couldn’t seem to make that work, so this way is the quick way I guess.  Otto can alter souls with his machines.  Got it.)  Anyway, Otto then uses the technology to reset Solus’ children to actual childhood, for Spider-Ma’am to raise.  How did Otto manage to do that?  No one really says.  Again, we're just supposed to accept Otto is a genius and found a way not only to clone them but also to de-age them.  Gage tries to explain the positive outcome by saying Solus was the one who turned his children into monsters, torturing them and instilling the Hunger in them.  Also, I didn’t read the “Spider-Girls” series, but apparently Annie from “Renew Your Vows” is the Patternweaver and she can remake the Web of Life and Destiny.  She implies her knowledge of the Inheritors’ past means this revision will stick, but we’ll see.  At any rate, Gage also ties up a loose end by seemingly having Gwen off-panel use her Web-Warriors watch to rescue Ashley, Charlie, and Kaine from the world where the Inheritors were trapped.  He also has Spider-Girl’s father became The Other.  Is it all sort of ridiculous and overly convenient, like Marvel had a list of ret-cons they thrust on Gage at the last minute?  Yes, yes, it is.  But, I like the outcomes of those ret-cons, so I guess I’m OK with them.  Can we have a “Scarlet Spiders” series now, please?

West Coast Avengers #6:  I don't know about you guys, but I wanted nothing more than to read a "West Coast Avengers" issue featuring the team stuck in a good ol' fashioned murder carnival.  This issue is my everything:  the (pec-tacular) smirk on Hawkeye's face when he hits the shark with a bolt from a slingshot he fashioned from his shirt, America showing actual emotions by cheering him when he did so, Quentin blowing up the shark-infested pool, Johnny pushing himself to turn into water, Kate telling her "mother" to go stuff it because obviously she's not leaving her team, NOH-FREAKING-VARR!  I could just read this issue over and over again and be happy.  WEST COAST, BEST COAST!


Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #12; Fantastic Four #5; Infinity Wars:  Fallen Guardian #1; Thor #8

Not-Very-New Comics: The December 19 and 26 X Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Extermination #5:  Honestly, I'm surprised Brisson was able to wrap up not only this mini-series but the original X-Men's entire story as well as he does in this issue.  It's clear that he and Marvel put a lot of though into it, just as Bendis and Marvel did when they originally brought the original X-Men to their future/our present.  It's why the kids' story has been so compelling, since it wasn't just a by-product of some half-assed event.  Brisson ends the story with the same integrity as Bendis had when he started it, a rare win for a risky story like this one.

First, Brisson resolves the ongoing plot and proves Kid Cable's point all in one fell swoop.  We start the issue learning Young Scott didn't die; Mimic did while impersonating Young Scott.  But, it's the only good news, because the twins are turning too many X-Men into hounds too quickly, making it impossible for the remaining X-Men to turn the tide.  Older Jean agrees it's time for the kids to return, but Young Jean refuses, because she doesn't want to leave the X-Men on their own to fight Ahab and his hounds.  Kid Cable says it's exactly why he was trying to force them back into the past:  given the lives they lead, the X-Men will always need some help to save the world.  Young Scott agrees with Kid Cable and convinces Young Jean they're causing more problems than they're solving at this point.  Before they leave, the Bobbys tearfully embrace, as Older Bobby tells Young Bobby no one can take away the gift his younger self gave them.

Kid Cable then timeslides them to the Mansion "five years before the end."  Nate explains Manon and Maxime's parents were students at the School.  The twins aren't yet evil, so he sends Jean to try to talk to them.  But, Ahab has followed them, and the rest of the team prepares to face him and the hounds to buy Jean time.  Jean finds the twins and learns Maxime is an empath and Manon "can give people memories" and then control when they remember them.  Jean asks Manon to show her how she does so.  Outside, Young Scott and Kid Cable manage to destroy Ahab's ship, preventing him from returning to the future.  Young Jean emerges from the mansion and confirms she has what she needed, and Kid Cable returns them to the past.  In the past, Young Jean prepares to mindwipe them, but, it's here where Brisson is at his best:  Young Jean uses what she learned from Manon to release their memories in their older counterparts' minds, ensuring they are not lost.  In so doing, Brisson maintains the kids' legacy.  It means this whole story doesn't just feel like a cheap stunt; they were real.  (Well, you know, for comic-book characters...)  Now, the original X-Men -- the adult versions -- feel ever realer somehow.  (My only nitpick here is that it's weird Jean could "learn" Manon's power, since it seems like it's her actual power and not just her application of her telepathic power.  But, whatever, I like the result, so I'll allow it.)

Brisson makes quick work of wrapping up loose ends.  Nate almost manages to kill Ahab, though he survives and disappears with Rachel in tow to cause trouble another day.  Older Jean (now Only Jean) asks Nate if it's really him -- her son -- and he confirms it is, even calling her Redd as he departs.  (Does that mean Cable always knew how he was going to die?)  The X-Men mourn Cable and, later, the remaining four original X-Men get shakes together, toasting in Scott's honor.  Brisson then plays his final card, as Kid Cable returns to his safehouse and hands a root beer to his father, Cyclops.  With Jean's return, it's been pretty clear that Scott was going to return at some point, particularly as his death during such a forgettable event was the most temporary-seeming death of all comic-book deaths.  But, Brisson leaves some loose ends out there to keep us interested.  Beyond Ahab still out there, we also never learn who Manon and Maxime's parents were.  All in all, I'm legitimately happy, if also sad, with how Brisson brings the original X-Men's story to a close.  I know they'll be just a memory soon, but at least they'll be a memory, and not just a ret-con.  That's pretty good, for comics.

Iceman #4:  This issue is...not good.  Grace makes the odd decision to focus it mostly on a speech Kitty and Storm give at a mutant-pride parade instead of on Bobby trying to find Mr. Sinister.  Also, Grace borrows heavily from the social-justice warrior lexicon, but then veers from the point he seemed to be making.  For example, Bobby pledges to break out Madin's brother, Ash, from prison after he was arrested in a previous issue.  Madin launches into a tirade about how it’s just another example of Bobby's privilege as a white pretty-boy mutant, since he’s confident he won’t face any repercussions for such actions.  It’s not a terrible point, to be honest.  But, it’s undermined when it turns out Madin wasn’t mad:  he was just hangry.  (No, really.)  It's further undermined when he realized that after his doyenne served him lunch.  After all, it undermines the point he was making about privilege when his servants feed him.  It seems like Grace just wants to tell too many stories in his time allotted here.  Instead of getting a series about Bobby, he's trying to queer the X-Men in five issues.  I’d be totally down with that, but not here.  We’ve waited too long to get Bobby’s story, and he deserves the limelight of his own series.  Nothings says erasure more than making a gay character's book about straight characters.  I would've much rather have seen Bobby try to process younger Bobby's memories (which he now has, thanks to "Extermination" #5), reconciling himself with the time he lost.  Instead, he's helping straight characters get to feel woke.  Hard pass.

X-Force #1:  I don't have a ton to say about this issue, but I would like to note it's a strong debut.  Brisson makes the point of the series clear, as X-Force seeks out Kid Cable to "question" him while he and Deahtlok seek to remove future technology from our timeline.  It's a premise with a lot of legs, and I'm down with seeing where we go from here.

Also Read:  Uncanny X-Men #6-#7

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The December 12 Everyone-but-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman Annual #3:  I totally cried at the end of this issue.  It's all just perfectly paced.  Taylor builds the tension between Alfred and Bruce throughout the issue, and he brilliantly uses Leslie to bring it to resolution.  Using the title at the end of an issue to reveal its purpose is a long-standing trope, but I've never seen it used so effectively as it is here.  "Father's Day," indeed.  I've been sort of struggling with similar issues as Alfred does here, and I can't say how much Taylor helped me see these issues from a new lens.  It's definitely one of the best issues of the year.

Detective Comics #994:  Jesus fucking Christ, whatever happiness Taylor gives Tomasi takes.  We start the issue with Batman and Gordon examining a double murder where the bodies are floating in an aquarium tank.  It's a little more complicated than that, though:  the bodies are exact replicas -- down to the smallest detail -- of Thomas and Martha Wayne.  (Tomasi brilliantly has Batman start to call them "my parents" before stopping himself.  It's great because it seems clear he's stopping himself just to pay homage to the lie he and Gordon tell each other that Gordon doesn't know his secret identity.)  Tomasi makes it ever grimmer by revealing they have pearls embedded in their mouths.  (I told you it was grim.)  Then, suddenly, a creature attacks Leslie (whose importance Taylor brilliantly underlined in "Batman" Annual #3) at her clinic, and Bruce rushes to save her.  Leslie is spectacular here; she realizes she's bait for Batman, and she attacks the creature before it can land a hit on Bruce, telling him to leave "the boy" alone.  Bruce eventually saves her, but not before the creature managed to breathe what we later learn is Joker Gas on her.  The issue begins with Batman seeing his dead parents floating in water and ends with him on the floor with a hysterically laughing and possibly dying Leslie.  This issue, this issue feels like a Batman story.  Tom King, take notice.

Also Read:  Dragon Age:  Deception #3

Not-Very-New Comics: The December 12 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #11:  This issue is solid, as JJJ, Jr. -- desperately seeking acceptance once again from New York's high society -- agrees to Wilson Fisk's invitation to present him with an award at an exclusive private club.  The catch is that Fisk wants Spider-Man there, too, as part of his campaign to make it seem like Spider-Man supports him.  Spencer has a good read on JJJ, Jr., particularly when it comes to the lenses through which other characters, like Robbie Robertson, see him.  That said, I still feel like this series is missing something.  It's not terrible by any means, but Spencer doesn't seem to be hitting his steps as neatly as he did when he was writing "Captain America."

Mr. and Mrs X #6:  I really enjoyed this issue.  We don't really see enough issues focused on the X-Men spending time with each other anymore, and Thompson delivers.  Surprisingly, she's possibly at her best in depicting Bobby and Laura, to the point where I really think we could use a Thompson-penned "Iceman/X-23" road-trip series, something I didn't know I needed until this issue.  But, she also does a great job of showing Remy and Rogue confront their pasts.  Remy has to face down Bella Donna and a Thieves' Guild furious at him for marrying a goody-two-shoes like Rogue.  For her part, Rogue has to encounter Magneto, but it's a much more helpful reunion.  He tells her to talk to Remy about her concerns over her fluctuating powers but also something else she needs to hear, that Remy isn't going anywhere.  Magneto, apparently ever the romantic.

Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #313:  This arc ends more strongly than I expected as Peter successfully outfoxes Morlun, drugging him into submission with tranquilizers he found at the zoo.  It feels inspired by the "Marvel's Spider-Man" videogame, as we don't usually see Peter interact with New York as specifically as he does here (and as he does throughout the videogame).  Peter makes a speech at the end of the issue that summarizes Ryan's assertion on why he defeats Morlun so often, namely that Morlun assumes he's going to win because he's faster and stronger and thus never has a plan.  I more or less buy that logic, and it does at least partly address my criticism of issue #312.  It's not perfect, but I'll take it.  Frigeri is also on fire here; he can draw half-naked Spidey whenever he wants in my book.

Spider-Force #3:  I read the words, but, honestly, I barely understand what they were saying.  I think Priest was telling a story about no one trusting each other, so they made bad decisions.  The problem with that premise is he also repeatedly mentioned they were all bonded to each other after Jameson linked their minds.  But, apparently Kaine lied about his Web-Warrior watch being broken, though I have no idea why he did so?  It doesn't help that understanding this issue requires you to remember what happened in issue #1, since we reach that moment here.  I'm sure if you're reading this series as part of a TPB it might make sense but I don't at all remember the details Priest wants me to remember two months later.  Plus, "Spider-geddon" #4 already spoiled the ending, showing Jessica arriving on Earth-616 with the Solus crystal.  This series had great potential, but it's really just a mess at the end.

Spider-Gwen:  Ghost Spider #3:  I'll admit I don't totally buy the resolution here.  Gwen realizes  the Green Goblin is spending time at the warehouse where she and the Mary Janes practiced in her reality, and she brings Mary Jane with her to try to reason with other Gwen.  The Green Goblin sees Mary Jane and almost instantly remembers who she is, which is...weird.  After all, Mary Jane talks about how the Green Goblin had previously seen her:  every time she threw a pumpkin bomb at Mary Jane, she missed.  If so, why didn't she remember who she was all those times that she saw Mary Jane?  The only thing our Gwen does here to help is remove the Green Goblin's mask, but that seems pretty...basic.  At any rate, I have to say I'm overall happy with the way this arc went because the characterization was really strong.  I wouldn't mind returning to this Earth in a future anthology, just to see how everyone is doing.  (That said, Peter doesn't share that hope.  He remarks here that he hopes they don't see Gwen again because he's pretty sure she hates him.)  Now, let's get back to our Mary Jane, shall we?  (I loved when she mentioned Mary Jane is terrifying in any reality.)  It's time to see what Gwen's life is like with "Spider-geddon" in the rear-view mirror.

Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra #27:  I'm making the somewhat difficult decision to stop getting this book with this issue.  It's difficult because I've actually enjoyed this arc more than previous ones.  Aphra is almost human here, and Triple-Zero is a thrill as always.  But, I feel like this series has definitely lost its way.  It just seems to recycle the same scenarios and antagonists, setting up yet another situation where Aphra betrays her companions but not so badly that she's irredeemable.  I could hang in there another four issues to see how the arc ends, but I feel like I already know how it will go.  I've been following Aphra for almost four years, after her debut in "Darth Vader," so it's sad to let her go.  But, why delay the inevitable?  Bye, Aphra.  I hope you survive Triple-Zero to betray another day.

Also Read:  Avengers #11; Fantastic Four:  Wedding Special #1; Infinity Wars:  Sleepwalker #4; Uncanny X-Men #5; X-Men:  Red #11

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The December 5 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman #60:  I may have to cancel this series soon.  I just have no idea what King is doing here.  It isn't so much the plot, whose direction I dislike but more or less understand.  But, the words are strung together in ways that make little sense.  It's almost like it was written in a foreign language and we're reading a poor translation.  (Paging Jonathan Hickman.)  King's obsession with non sequitur poems makes the situation even worse.  Although I understand the plot, I still don't get why it's going in such a bizarre direction.  It now turns out Bane wasn't the one pulling the strings in Arkham; it was Bruce's father from "Flashpoint."  At least, I think?  I can't even possibly imagine why he would be involved.  Even if he was motivated to help Bane run Arkham, why would Bane accept his help?  It also seems like he killed the Penguin's girlfriend, though I don't understand why he would do that, since it sounds like Oswald got his revenge by flagging Bane's actions for Bruce.  But, do I care?  I don't know if I do.

Die #1:  Holy fucking shit, this issue is amazing.  Right up front (or, in back, actually, in his note), Gillen admits the inspiration for this book is the question I've asked myself for decades:  "Whatever happened to the D&D cartoon kids?"  I can't believe my luck that I get to see Kieron Gillen answer that question.

First things first, Gillen does a great job of establishing our cast of characters.  Our protagonist is Dominic.  He and his friends are dedicated RPGers, and his best friend Sol has created a boutique game for Dominic's 16th birthday.  Each player is given a die, and Sol explains it's the only one in the world where they're playing.  Dom is the Dictator ("a diplomat with teeth") with a d4, his depressed friend Matthew is the Grief Knight ("a magical warrior" who turns "emotions into power") with a d8, his younger sister Ash is Neo ("a cyberpunk") with a d10, his edgy friend Isabelle is Godbinder ("some kind of atheist with gods for pets") with a d12, and his dumb friend Chuck is the Fool ("I kinda picked some random abilities") with a "entirely normal" d6.  Sol keeps the d20 for himself.

Shortly after they start the game, they disappear.  They reappear two years later, minus Sol and one of Ash's arms, inexplicably unable to talk about their experiences.  We then flash forward twenty-five years later, as Dominic celebrates his 41st birthday.  We learn his wife Sophie threw him a surprise party for his 40th birthday and he reacted badly, because parties and presents serve as reminders of his experience.  Sol's mother appears on his doorstep and angrily presses Dom for information.  Sophie threatens her, and we learn she frequently appears demanding information about Sol.  Later that night, Dom meets his sister Ash for a drink and the bartender hands them a box someone left for them.  It's the box that originally contained the dice -- with a blood-soaked d20.

Panicked, they assemble the party (except they can't call it a party, for reasons that become clear later) at Chuck's house.  Chuck is wealthy based on a series of books he's written about their experience ("Portal of Pain").  Ash wonders how he can do so since the rest of them can't talk about it, and Dominic assumes it's part of his personality, that he can't take anything too seriously.  Like Chuck, Isabelle has a few spouses in her past and she teaches high-school English.  (We previously learned Ash left her husband for a woman who then left her.)  Along with Dom, Matt is the most grounded, married with kids and a statistics professor.  Dominic is surprised to learn it's been five years since they saw each other, since he's the closest to Matt.  They start to talk about their experience, but it's difficult; for example, Chuck stumbles on the word "party," unable to say it.  Isabelle apologizes to Dom for not being more "woke" when they were kids.  I'm guessing it's an allusion to a relationship Dominic had with Sol in the Realm, given his character (the Dictator) was a woman.  Isabelle wonders why Dominic didn't take the die to the police, but Dominic says he was afraid to lose control of it.  As they stare at it, the die activates, dragging them all into the "Realm."  As they transit spacetime, a voice announces the Grandmaster once again threatens the Realm and it needs a hero to rise, like the narration you'd hear at the start of an arcade game.

Returned to the Realm, Gillen reveals the group's inability to talk about the experience came from a geas Dominic put on them before they left.  Matt presses Dom to lift the geas, which he (she, here) does.  Isabelle immediately pounces on him, noting the geas and taking on the Grandmaster were his idea.  But, Dominic retorts that it wasn't his idea to leave behind Sol, though we learn they never actually saw the Grandmaster kill him.  He says he hoped Sol was alive when he saw the die, though Isabelle notes the blood on it probably implies the opposite.  Suddenly, the die flies through the air to a now-grown Solomon's hand.  We learn the Grandmaster trapped him and tried to steal his die.  Solomon escaped and they fought "a long war" that he eventually won.  He announces he's now the Grandmaster as he puts the die in his empty eye socket.  (His other eye has a die in it, presumably the Grandmaster's d20 die?)  He then announces the party has to complete the game.

In his note at the back, Gillen talks about this series exploring the consequences -- to him and his loved ones -- of him falling into a fantasy world at 16 years old.  Part of the reason this intention feels so fully realized is that the art is beyond spectacular.  Hans infuses both our world and the Realm with a dream-like quality that reflects the characters' emotions.  It's the perfect complement to Gillen's vision.  Gillen talks about this series as driven in part by a mid-life crisis of sorts, and, as someone roughly his age going through his own version, this book could be better than therapy!

Doomsday Clock #8:  This issue is much more action-packed and straight-forward than previous ones, though I'm not entirely sure it's a good thing.

We begin with a brief scene of Ozymandias swiping a file from the Oval Office.  But, the action shifts almost immediately to Moscow, where a hot-headed Firestorm is taking on the People's Heroes, accusing them of trying to ruin his life through the Superman Theory.  One of the Heroes manages to disrupt his powers, forcing him to crash to the Earth into a group of protesters.  They immediately attack him and, panicked, he explodes, turning the protesters to glass.  Superman immediately flies from Metropolis to Khandaq amidst reports Firestorm fled there, but Black Adam informs Superman that Firestorm isn't there (though notes he's welcome).  Clark resumes his search for Firestorm.  Meanwhile, in Metropolis, Lois discovers a package with no return address on it that someone (Rorschach) sent directly to her at the "Planet."  It contains a flashdrive with a reel of the Justice Society of America, something Lois doesn't recognize.

Meanwhile, Clark finds Firestorm hiding in a cave in Russia.  He's trying to turn back one of the glass statues, of a child.  He's irrationally distraught, in part because Dr. Stein keeps telling him it can't be done.  But, Clark calms Firestorm down, and he's able to transmute the kid to flesh again.  Clark then interrupts a rally the Russian President is giving and informs the crowd Firestorm can undo the damage.  But, he then talks about his concern over the current anti-metahuman movement, saying Krypton was doomed to destruction because its council was too divided.  Clark encourages people not to demonize metahumans.  Watching the speech en route to Moscow, Bruce contacts Clark and tells him not to pick a side.  The Russian President interrupts Superman, denouncing him for siding with the metahumans.

To make matters worse, Firestorm arrives just then, swearing he can help everyone.  Unfortunately, the Russian army opens fire on him.  Superman manages to save the boy Firestorm transmuted from the hail of bullets, but Firestorm is driven insane with guilt when the army's bullets destroy other statues.  He attacks the army, forcing the Heroes to join the fray by trying to stop Superman, who they see as on Firestorm's side.  Clark watches in horror as tanks crush statues, and he attacks one, sealing the public's view of him attacking the Russian army.  Bruce warns Superman the problem isn't Firestorm just as an enormous (and suspiciously blue) explosion occurs, with Superman at its epicenter.  Ozymandias watches on computer screens, muttering only, "It begins."

I'm glad to see something happening in this book, but it's still hard to tell how it's all going to end. I rolled my eyes at the idea that Firestorm could change back the boy, so I was glad to see Bruce inform us it was actually Dr. Manhattan manipulating the events.  All that said, we seem to be getting farther and farther afield from where this series started.  Snyder certainly has time to get back to the original drift, but I'll admit I'm feeling impatient.

Shatterstar #3:  As I requested last issue, we get some more insight into Shatterstar's relationship with Gringrave, as they learn Mojo plans on mating him with Windsong, a fellow gladiator.  Oddly, it's Gringrave who takes action to stop it, conspiring with Windsong's partner to end Shatterstar's reign (and, I'm assuming, his suitability as a match for Windsong in Mojo's eyes).  Meanwhile, in the present, 'Star prioritizes saving Karl Sortenthau, since he's deemed too old to fight in the arena; he gets him just before he's eaten.  But, it means he loses Tina, after she makes a deal with Grandmaster to get powers so she can be the hero in the arena who saves the tenants.  (It ends...badly.)  Seeley is really just getting his sea legs here, infusing this issue with the type of emotion we didn't see in the first two issues.  I hope he keeps rolling with it as we come closer to the conclusion.  At some point, it would be nice to see why Gringrave changed her mind about indulging in love.  Right now, it seems more like 'Star fell for her sooner than she fell for him.  By the time she realized she loved him, he had turned off that part of him, at her instruction.  But, I'm connecting those dots for Seeley; it would be nice to see him doing it on his own.

Star Wars #58:  This issue is great on all levels.  Seeing a relaxed Han Solo uncharacteristically confess actual feelings to (though not for) Leia is great.  Gillen really stresses how the atmosphere on Hubin drives him to this moment.  Give a smuggler a minute to relax without worrying about making a buck and he apparently becomes the Dude.  But Gillen also shows how Hubin's isolation drives Luke to the brink of madness, stuck on a planet exactly like Tatooine, just "greener."  He's frantically working on building a transmitter to call for rescue, even though pretty much everyone warns him it could bring ruin to Hubin.  But, it's Leia who's full of surprises as she leads an expectant Han to her room only to show him...her plans to destroy Shu-Torun entirely.  Oh, Leia, you never disappoint.  Gillen and Unzueta capture Han and Leia both so perfectly in this moment, with Han starting to take off his vest only for Leia to reveal her serial-killer den; it may be my favorite moment in the entire series.  But, most importantly, it sets up a confrontation with Shu-Torun that I can't wait to see.  Just like Aaron before him, Gillen is showing he's not in any rush, as this entire Shu-Torun saga shows the potential to unfold over dozens of issues, with a level of complexity that could be its own trilogy.   Man, I love this series.

Uncanny X-Men #4:  OK, now we're getting somewhere.  First, the art is excellent.  No photo-realism, just excellent drawing.  Second, we see some decent characterization, at long lest!  We get some Beast/Iceman banter, we get a hilariously unhinged Legion, we get a furious Hisako calling bullshit on the adults.  It finally reads less like a pitch and more like a comic.  (Legion's text bubble running off both sides of the panel to show how he's annoyingly rambling was awesome.)  But, I'm also 100% Team Hisako.  After Jean and Betsy use their powers to convince the Horsemen they're all dead, they almost immediately silence Legion as he's trying to explain his actions.  Hisako points out it makes no sense to do that, because he's the only one who knows what's happening.  Jean demands absolutely loyalty from her despite the fact, as Hisako also notes, she's the one who ignored or missed Legion's warnings, leading to the Mansion's destruction.  But, Jean does Jean as she decides the X-Men don't need to investigate these new Horsemen, even though they're uniquely suited to do so.  Instead, she wants them to join the other superhero teams in trying to address the chaos unfolding around the world.  She inserts Storm's team into a civil war in Chernaya while she and her team take on Blob and Omega Red as they attack an oil platform.  La la la.  Maybe a little strategery, Jean?  At any rate, we also learn Hank probably did something that led to the creation of the mutant "vaccine" we've previously seen, surprising no one.  At this stage, it's finally starting to feel more like "Avengers:  No Surrender" and less like Rob Liefeld was given the keys to the kingdom.  That's obviously a good thing.

West Coast Avengers #5:  West Coast, Best Coast, 'Nuff Said!

Winter Soldier #1:  The premise of this mini-series is pretty clever.  Bucky has dedicated himself to rescuing people who want to escape lives where they've made bad -- and dangerous -- decisions.  For example, the issue starts with him helping a dirty cop escape right before he's supposed to drive a getaway car for some other dirty cops.  In other words, his drive for redemption is pretty clear.  Bucky's set up his base of operations in Indiana, where he's from, and he's getting help from Sharon Carter.  (Higgins work in the sort of time-management joke we used to see when Wolverine was on 30 different teams.)  Tony Stark even helps, motivated by Sharon's comment that they've all had help when they needed to start again.  Bucky's also gotten into meditation as a way to deal with his demons, and he seems to be remembering a memory where one of the technicians working on his project tried to help him escape because the project was immoral.  (Bucky, of course, killed him.)  The issue ends when a Hydra assassin takes out one of Bucky's clients after he contacted his girlfriend still on the inside.  The assassin?  A teenager dressed like teenage Bucky!  At this point, my only complaint here is that Higgins doesn't do a lot with Bucky as a character.  He has time to do that, but one of my worries with Bucky is always that he's portrayed as bland instead of haunted.  It's when he's portrayed as so emotionally dead that he's boring that series get canceled.  I guess the stakes are low for a five-issue mini-series, but I'd really like to see Bucky emerge from the limbo in which Marvel has stashed him these last few years.  Brubaker did such amazing things with him, and I really want him to be less shadow-y than he's been these last few years.  Importantly, Higgins establishes the government pardoned him for his help against Hydra.  Here's hoping it means we're going to get Brubaker's Bucky back.

Also Read:  Death Orb #3; The Merry X-Men Holiday Special #1; Nightwing #54

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The November 28 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #10:  Spencer clearly hated exactly the same things about Slott's run as I did as he changes one of Slott's most egregious characterization crimes in this issue:  Felicia is thankfully on the side of angels again.  (I'm just going to overlook Peter overlooking her crimes, like I do with Batman overlooking Red Hood's.)  More interestingly, she pins her fall into evil as starting when she realized she no longer knew who Peter was under the mask.  (Apparently Spencer also had issues with Quesada as well.)  Moved by her insistence they meant something once, Peter unmasks himself to her, a moment that validates her importance not just to him but to us, the fans, as well.  I'll admit Spencer is still struggling to get a definitive bead on Peter as a character, veering seemingly randomly from excessively chipper to downright maudlin.  But, he definitely secures my patience as he fixes yet another wrong perpetrated on Peter and his supporting cast during "Brand New Day" and its hangover.

Darth Vader #24:  Soule does a great job here of not delaying Vader's crossing into the Force for too long, but long enough to make it suspenseful.  Momin's betrayal of Vader allows the indigenous Mustafarian forces time to marshal an attack, forcing Vader to re-focus his efforts on securing the fortress.  Soule takes the extra step of showing Vader successfully rallying his rattled troops into battle, a reminder that the Stormtroopers don't follow Vader from a place of fear so much as awe.  The Mustafarians seem to get the upper hand as they use the lava to wipe out the Imperials.  Vader only survives in a display of badass-ery that recalls his origins:  as we see him leaping from the lava and burning on the shores once again, it's clear it isn't going to end well for the Mustafarians.  Once he vanquishes them, he makes fairly short work of a surprised Momin.  I have to be honest, I understand why Momin would arrogantly assume his superiority to Vader, since he just managed to pull off a millennia-long plan to resurrect himself.  But, Vader is Vader, and he uses this arrogance against Momin, clearing the way for his own crossing into the Force.  I'm intrigued where Soule is going here.  One of my hopes for this series since Day #1 was that the authors would explore Vader before he became the (seemingly) irredeemably villain he was in "Star Wars."  I have to wonder if his presumed "reunion" with Padme doesn't push him farther along that spectrum, something I'd be excited to see.

Marvel 2-in-One #12:  Zdarsky ends this series on a high note, with Johnny showing how much he's matured since the team began.  After all, Ben, Reed, and Sue all lied to him to protect his feelings, and Johnny argues they treated him like a child in so doing. His call for them to be better about sharing their pain forces everyone, the reader included, to reassess their view of him.  But, he also shows his maturity by forgiving them.  Zdarksy did such an excellent job on this title and "Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man" that it's hard to believe Marvel would allow his run on either one to end.  At least Zdarsky had the chance to wrap up some of the emotional loose ends from Reed and Sue's disappearance, particularly as Slott has already moved onto the wedding in the main title.  I still think we (and Johnny) deserve a better explanation from Reed and Sue, but at least we get this moment here.

Spider-Gwen:  Ghost Spider #2:  This issue is spectacular.  McGuire pours his heart and soul into this issue and it shows.  This issue clears the high bar "Edge of Spider-Verse" #2 set in terms of presenting a fully realized world containing clearly drawn characters.  For really the first time I can remember, someone presents us a intuitively believable vision of Peter Parker if he hadn't become Spider-Man.  In a way, it feels like McGuire is finishing the work Latour started with our Gwen's Peter, since we never really meet him.  This Peter is the nerd he was destined to be.  He created the radioactive spider that bit Harry, turning Harry into Spider-Man.  Gwen is also the scientist she was supposed to be.  After Harry became Spider-Man, she created the Goblin outfit based on her work with bio-feedback circuitry at Oscorp (where she and Peter were interning).  Peter and Mary Jane play the supporting roles here, but it all goes tragically wrong when Gwen accidentally kills her father in a fight she and Harry are having with Sandman.  Her moment of distraction gives Sandman time to kill Harry and an ensuing explosion fuses Gwen with her suit.  She's now only the Goblin, and Peter and Mary Jane are frantically trying to find a way to save her when our Gwen appears.  McGuire is at his best when he shows Peter as totally desperate to save his friends; it's an echo of our Peter, but in a world where the sorrows he's known have overwhelmed him.  He's not funny or quippy, just focused and serious.  He unapologetically blackmails our Gwen into helping them by saying their Gwen is the only person who can help her fix her Web-Warriors' watch.  Our Gwen seems to suspect he's lying as much as we do.  McGuire really conveys Gwen's desperation here, as she's aware her friends could be dying as she's delayed in this Universe.  But, Gwen decides to throw in her lot with Peter and Mary Jane, clearly moved in party by their plight.  It's this sort of realistic characterization that makes this issue so gripping.  I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Uncanny X-Men #3:  This issue is an improvement over the last two issues, though I can't say I'm enthusiastic about where we're going here.  After the X-Men in Montana make short work of the rampaging dinosaurs, they fly to Kansas to help the other X-Men take on the Madrox horde.  Jean and Psylocke are able to shut down the dupes' minds, and they discover Jamie Prime beaten and locked in the basement.  (The authors make no comment at all on the fact Jamie Prime is supposed to be dead, so it's unclear to me if it's the real Jamie Prime or the megalomaniacal Jamie Prime from the "Multiple Man" mini-series.  Also, where's Layla?)  Jamie reveals Legion beat him repeatedly to create dupes into which he could stash his personalities.  (I guess those dupes were the ones the X-Men just defeated?)  It's still unclear why they were all looking for Kitty Pryde, but, if I'm guessing, it's because Legion was looking at her.  He wanted to warn the X-Men of the coming of the Four Horsemen of Salvation:  Angel, Blob, Magneto, and Omega Red.  It seems clear they're working for X-Man, but we're not going to get there until next issue (at least).  Instead, Magneto, the so-called Horseman of Peace, destroys the X-Mansion, because his goal is to take out anyone who creates war (i.e., the X-Men.)  Um, OK, I guess?  It all still feels like a mess, but at least we're getting closer to answers here.

Also Read:  Detective Comics #993; Fantastic Four #4; Old Man Hawkeye #11; Return of Wolverine #3

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The November 21 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Astonishing X-Men #17:  This issue is a mess.  But, I appreciated what Rosenberg was trying to do here, as he explained it in his concluding letter.  He wanted to tell a story about the heroes who don’t always get it right.  It's a good goal, the type of story we don't see told enough.  I'd say that he largely accomplished that goal, messy though the road to that goal was.  After all, the characterization was...dodgy.  Alex seemed like a combination of Bobby Drake with the bad jokes, Quentin Quire with his easy disillusionment, and Tony Stark with the weary drinking.  Allison made weird comments about the Beast’s weight.  But, Rosenberg was getting Alex to a place where I liked him.  It was a more interesting iteration of him.  I mean, it's been a while since we had a consistent characterization of him, so I was really just happy for Rosenberg to have a specific vision of him.  But, the progress Rosenberg was making ends here with the advent of “Uncanny X-Men.”  After all, I’m still not really sure what the Reavers were doing or planning, but I guess it doesn’t matter at this point.  Unfortunately, this series appears to be part of the trend over the last few years of all the X-books being disposable.  Just when the authors seem to get somewhere interesting, the series is canceled due to yet another line-wide “relaunch” and the team is disassembled.  [Sigh.]  It’s bad when you’re pining for a series you didn’t even like all that much, just because you want some stability.

Batman #59:  This story would be great if it weren’t a “Batman” story.  I’m fine believing Bane is only pretending to be semi-comatose while actually running Arkham and, by extension, Gotham.  (I mean, that connection is kind of a stretch, but whatever.)  I’m also fine with Penguin confessing this information to Batman as part of his revenge against Bane for killing his Penny.  King has Penguin make it clear the strikes against Bruce — Dick, Alfred, etc. — came from Bane.  But, I don’t buy Bruce’s actions.  King seems to subscribe to Snyder’s belief that Bruce is incompetent.  After all, Bruce doesn’t really figure out anything here.  Sure, he realizes Penguin was the one actually to kill the women who Freeze allegedly killed, but it also seems like Penguin wasn’t really hiding his tracks all that well.  But, King goes ones step further as Bruce isn’t just incompetent but also psychotic.  Rather than tricking Bane into revealing the truth, he just simply beats him to a pulp, as if Bane — the man whose “powers” come essentially from surviving Santa Prisca — would crack under the torment.  Gordon tries to get him to stop and he punches Gordon.  Gordon dismisses him, saying he’s sick of him, and I couldn’t agree with him more.  A Red Hood story?  That makes sense.  A Batman story?  Nope.

Infinity Wars:  Sleepwalker #3:  I mean, this issue and series are just the effing worst.  Nothing makes sense.  Like, I couldn’t even pretend to tell you what story Bowers and Sims are actually trying to tell here.  I can’t believe I got suckered into buying it because Darkhawk was in it.

Mr. and Mrs. X #5:  Honestly, y'all, I just fucking love this series so much.  It's romantic, it's suspenseful, it's funny.  Thompson gets these characters in an intuitive way, and it shows in every panel.  Also, Bazaldua and D'Armata are an excellent team.  "Astonishing X-Men" and "Uncanny X-Men" suffered from such consistently disappointing art, the great art here just really underscores what a wonderful book this series is.  Also, cats!

The New World #5:  Kot ends this series by leaning into the idea of the wall as a metaphor.  Thanks to Stella’s A.I. successfully hacking into border security’s systems, Kirby and Stella reveal to the country that the wall is merely a hologram, a prison of their own making due to their faith in, and fear of, their institutions.  Kot could’ve left it there and scored a point against our Trumpian reality.  But, he goes one step further.  Kirby knows the revelation will result in chaos, so he wants to stay and make the United States a better place.  But, Stella has done enough, and they part.  By adding this exchange, Kot exposes the sort of disagreements many people opposed to any agenda have in this era.  Stella is exhausted and just wants living her life with her love serving as the best revenge, whereas Kirby wants a more direct approach to right the wrongs he sees.  They’re both valid options, and they may not be as incompatible as they seem in this moment.  To that point, as Stella summons up her courage to take that step through the wall, Kirby is there with her.  Kot leaves us there:  we don’t know what they ultimately do; we just know they’re in love, hand in hand, for right now.  It’s a great ending to this trippy series, a reminder how much Kot and Moore really accomplished with just five issues.

Spider-geddon #4:  Gage does a solid job of keeping all the plates spinning at this point.  This series has had some problems with tie-in coordination, like we see here with Jessica Drew arriving after the events of the so-far unpublished "Spider-Force" #3.  But, it's not too much of an issue.  Gage cleverly ups the stakes by having the Web-Warriors expel an unhelpful Norma Osborn.  As revenge, he destroys the Web of Life and Destiny, severing the Web-Warriors' ability to travel between dimensions and thus stranding everyone else on Earth-616 with the Inheritors.  I'd say that sets up the final conflict pretty nicely.  This series lacks the overarching brilliance of "Spider-Verse," but as a sequel to a previous event it's doing really well.

Uncanny X-Men #2:  This issue is marginally better than the first one, in that at least it makes sense on the face of it.  Storm leads a team to Kansas when a veritable horde of Madri suddenly appears and Jean decides (for reasons that remain unclear) that Storm is best suited to handle it.  Meanwhile, Jean leads a team to Montana to stop a group of rampaging dinosaurs, part of a worldwide phenomenon of long extinct animals suddenly coming to life.  Hank posits all these events — including the mysterious development of a lake in Africa that he and Storm investigated last issue as well as the disappearances of Senator Ashton and Kitty — are all connected.  But, instead of doing more research on that connection, he goes to recover the mutant “vaccine” from the pharmaceutical factory the X-Men destroyed when they accidentally crashed a Blackbird into it last issue.  Just when I had hope it was going to start getting better, Legion appears on the last page to “save the day,” which means it’s all going to get worse.

Also Read:  Nightwing #53; Spider-Force #2; Star Wars #57; West Coast Avengers #4

Monday, February 4, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The November 14 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Avengers #10:  Can I just admit I'm not feeling this series?  I mean, I love Aaron usually, but something isn't clicking here for me.  Maybe because it's all a little...much?  Defenders of the Deep!  The Winter Guard!  Squadron Supreme of America!  Phoenix Wolverine!  Blade!  I get it's the 700th issue, and I appreciate Aaron trying to tell one coherent story for this extra-sized issue, instead of dividing it into forgettable back-up stories.  But, he seems to rush the most interesting part of the story, namely the increasingly chaotic melée between the Defenders, the Guard, and the Avengers.  I would've preferred him and the artists really spreading their wings there.  Instead, he spends eight pages on Odin lecturing Ghost Rider about the history of animosity between the Rider and the Starbrand.  Le sigh.  I get artist constraints probably contributed to that, but it was a disappointment nonetheless.

Captain America #5:  I love the story Coates is telling here:  it's essentially the sequel to Brubaker's original Alexander Lukin story, with all the players -- including the Red Skull -- now on the board again.  My only question at this point is how exactly Alexa resurrected Lukin.  I figured Selene was going to drain Sharon's life force and imbue it into Lukin's body.  But, Steve seemed to interrupt that transfer.  Later, the Army's doctors proclaim Sharon as rested as if she had gone to Club Med.  How does that work, then?  Did Alexa use the Cosmic Cube instead?  Curiouser and curiouser.  At any rate, Alexa makes an excellent point to Selene about now they're striking while the iron is hot in America.  After all, Cap's time as the head of Hydra has left people uncertain who the heroes and villains are.  It's a moment ripe for interference.  The best part of this story is the fact Coates isn't stretching anyone's characterization to make people's actions and statements mirror our current political environment.  He's chosen his characters perfectly.  In fact, he almost implies Marvel anticipated this particular moment when Brubaker created some of these characters over ten years ago.


Fantastic Four #3:  This issue is great, though I wonder where Slott is going with the overall story.  On the plus side, Slott does a great job of showing how clever Reed is.  He realizes the Griever is an agent of destruction, not of creation.  As such, he has the extended team destroy all her teleportation pods save one.  Since she can't create a new one, she's left with no option but to use it before the heroes destroy it, stranding her in this finite Universe.  Reed is able to take this risk of stranding the team because he has faith in its ability to create its own device, something Valeria easily does with the help of assembled geniuses like Black Panther and Spider-Man.  This part is great.  It puts the science front and center, exactly where it should be.  Slott also manages to hit emotional notes just right, a major accomplishment for him.  Ben's conversations with Franklin is great.  Whereas Peter tries to lay the "with great power..." talk on him, Ben rejects putting the responsibility to stop the Griever squarely on Franklin's adolescent shoulders.  As Franklin despairs over his failure to stop her, Ben tells him that guys like them draw strength from their family and keep trying even when they fail.  I totally cried when they jointly declared it was clobberin' time.  For me, the only downside of this issue is that Reed and Susan are still acting weirdly.  Franklin all but collapses when he sees Ben, telling Ben that he knew they shouldn't have left them for the five years.  Johnny's joyous and wordless reunion with Valeria is equally moving.  But, they only serve to highlight the question at the heart of this relaunch:  why didn't Reed and Sue tell Ben and Johnny they were alive?  The recent issue of "Marvel Two-in-One" focused on Ben and Reed also didn't answer this question, and at some point Slott is going to have to get to it.  But, in the meantime, he's told a pretty spectacular (heh) Fantastic Four story here.  I'm legit excited about the wedding.


Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #312:  This issue is OK.  The idea of using the Central Park Zoo’s full allotment of tranquilizers on Morlun is solid.  The problem is that Morlun is always conveniently slow at exactly the right moments.  Last issue we saw how fast and seemingly unstoppable Morlun is; in other words, it showed why he’s such a threat.  Here, Miles fights Morlun but fails to stop him in his search for Peter.  However, Miles is able to find Jameson, have a conversation with him, find Peter, and have a conversation with him all before Morlun finds them.  It’s a little unrealistic, given how in awe of Morlun’s superior speed and tracking ability we’re supposed to be.

Uncanny X-Men #1:  This issue is so bad that I really have to wonder what the purpose of editors is, if they allow something so terrible to get to market.  No, seriously, it’s that bad.  Let's get to it.

First, the plot makes little sense from moment to moment.  The tension of this initial arc is that someone — we don’t know who, at this point — has created a “vaccine” that can “cure” mutantdom.  OK, I get that part.  That's pretty standard fare and not a terrible way to up the stakes so high that every mutant is called off the benches.  But, the actions we see here related to that central tension make no sense.  First, for some reason, Kitty takes a group of trainees to stop Forearm from destroying a pharmacy.  The first problem is the “trainees” are Anole, Armor, Glob Herman, Idie, Pixie, and Rockslide.  Really?  Are we pretending they’re still trainees?  (One of the back-up stories implies Anole and Armor are annoyed about this treatment, but pet peeve #3 says an author can’t just have a character note how idiotic a situation is and get credit for it.)  To make matters worse (an  expression I'll use a lot in this review), the authors portray X-23 as a hardened X-Man, even though she was part of Kyle and Yost’s New X-Men team with Anole, Armor, Pixie, and Rockslide.  But, whatever.  It's the least of our worries at this point.  More problematically, Kitty  doesn’t put two and two together to realize where Forearm is, the Mutant Liberation Front may not be far behind.  This lapse in judgment is particularly notable because they’re going to save the pharmaceutical factory creating the “cure,” something Kitty doesn’t tell the kids and they only learn after she mysteriously disappears.  Professor X much, Kitty?  Also, you didn't think the MLF would hit a target like a pharmacy producing a "cure" for mutantdom?  Also, note I mentioned Kitty "disappears."  She does exactly that:  as she's trying to find a place to land the Blackbird, she disappears, causing the Blackbird to crash and leaving the "kids" on their own to face the MLF.  Way to lead, Kitty.  Way to lead.

Meanwhile, we shift to some sort of public debate happening on the steps of City Hall between a new Robert Kelly-esque Senator and Kitty.  However, as previously noted, Kitty isn't there as she's, natch, disappeared.  But, I don't even remotely get how she thought she would be there.  They were just going to dispatch a MLF-less Forearm and she'd pop into the rally, looking well rested and ready for the cameras?  Has she developed the power to bend space and time?  At any rate, Jean is nervous to take Kitty's place, even though she repeatedly advocated the mutant cause to the entire world in “X-Men Red.”  Also, what sort of debate happens this way?  Who decided it was a good idea to have a mutantphobic politician and the X-Men’s leader debate on the steps of City Hall in front of a crowd with no obvious security other than the Senator's bodyguards?  Seriously, I'm not crazy here, right?  I also have to note the art in this section is SO BAD, you guys.  Angel, Betsy, and Jean look like they’ve been forcibly de-aged to childhood, and I didn’t recognize Sam or Northstar at all.  Worst of all, Kitty looks almost exactly like Victoria Beckham, which...no.  It’s just awful.  At any rate, it ends in chaos — shocker, I know — when Jamie Madrox — who Jean saw in a vision to start off the issue — appears on stage and has his dupes inexplicably attack the crowd.  Also someone...hypnotizes Angel?  Honestly, I just have no idea.

At this point, we just sort of abandon the main story and move into three back-up stories that tell one overarching story.  Since I’m reading this issue many months late, I’m assuming the mysterious figure trying to take back Dark Beast and the Sugar Man is Nate Grey.  But, I have no idea how that story is connected with the initial story, in terms of substance or timing.  To make matters worse (see), the “Director’s Cut” then includes 226 pages of filler — covers, scripts, etc.  Honestly, couldn’t they have maybe focused a little more on the actual stories in the issue?  Like, I don't need to read this issue again in script form.  One time was more than enough.

Seriously, I don’t understand how the relaunch of this series after such a long hiatus could be so rushed.  The frustrating part is the overarching plot is more or less fine.  All the editors had to do was to make a few tweaks here and there to take some of the less fleshed out parts of the book (like Kitty's ability to bend space and time) and it would've be fine.  Maybe not stellar, but fine.  Instead, we get a garbled mess that makes me worry Marvel is once again going to screw up an X-Men relaunch.  I guess the more things change...

The Weatherman #6:  Leheup really nails the landing here as he wraps up this first arc.  We learn the Cowboy -- or the Farmer, as we more accurately define him here -- didn't kill the Pearl to save Nathan:  he killed the Pearl so he could kill Nathan.  But, Amy successfully fights off the Farmer's partner -- who Garren later calls Pinker-Bell -- and stops the Farmer before he does the deed.  She recruits him to her cause by convincing him Nathan is the link to the Sword of God, showing how she let Pinker-Bell live as a sign of good faith.  She then uses the memory drug we've previously seen to rescue Nathan from his thought loop, and we finally get to see a glimpse of who he was.  It's not who we thought, as he tries to convince Jenner to stop letting his men kill Shimani rebels seeking to secede from Arcadia.  The memory jolts Nathan awake.  Later, Amy gets Dr. Wetzel to tell her the location of Miriam Nyseth, and Garren insists on joining Amy in her quest so he can watch her back, as he doesn't trust the Farmer or Pinker-Bell.  (Garren seems to be the only person in this series with common sense.)  They're all surprised to discover their destination (and presumably Nyseth's location):  a satellite-surrounded Earth.  Previously, I thought Earth had been destroyed, but it now seems more likely the Sword of God released some sort of biological weapon?  All I know is I can't wait for the second act!

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #9; Darth Vader #23; Detective Comics #992; Dragon Age:  Deception #2; Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra #26; Thor #7; Vault of Spiders #2