Monday, February 4, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The November 14 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Avengers #10:  Can I just admit I'm not feeling this series?  I mean, I love Aaron usually, but something isn't clicking here for me.  Maybe because it's all a little...much?  Defenders of the Deep!  The Winter Guard!  Squadron Supreme of America!  Phoenix Wolverine!  Blade!  I get it's the 700th issue, and I appreciate Aaron trying to tell one coherent story for this extra-sized issue, instead of dividing it into forgettable back-up stories.  But, he seems to rush the most interesting part of the story, namely the increasingly chaotic melée between the Defenders, the Guard, and the Avengers.  I would've preferred him and the artists really spreading their wings there.  Instead, he spends eight pages on Odin lecturing Ghost Rider about the history of animosity between the Rider and the Starbrand.  Le sigh.  I get artist constraints probably contributed to that, but it was a disappointment nonetheless.

Captain America #5:  I love the story Coates is telling here:  it's essentially the sequel to Brubaker's original Alexander Lukin story, with all the players -- including the Red Skull -- now on the board again.  My only question at this point is how exactly Alexa resurrected Lukin.  I figured Selene was going to drain Sharon's life force and imbue it into Lukin's body.  But, Steve seemed to interrupt that transfer.  Later, the Army's doctors proclaim Sharon as rested as if she had gone to Club Med.  How does that work, then?  Did Alexa use the Cosmic Cube instead?  Curiouser and curiouser.  At any rate, Alexa makes an excellent point to Selene about now they're striking while the iron is hot in America.  After all, Cap's time as the head of Hydra has left people uncertain who the heroes and villains are.  It's a moment ripe for interference.  The best part of this story is the fact Coates isn't stretching anyone's characterization to make people's actions and statements mirror our current political environment.  He's chosen his characters perfectly.  In fact, he almost implies Marvel anticipated this particular moment when Brubaker created some of these characters over ten years ago.


Fantastic Four #3:  This issue is great, though I wonder where Slott is going with the overall story.  On the plus side, Slott does a great job of showing how clever Reed is.  He realizes the Griever is an agent of destruction, not of creation.  As such, he has the extended team destroy all her teleportation pods save one.  Since she can't create a new one, she's left with no option but to use it before the heroes destroy it, stranding her in this finite Universe.  Reed is able to take this risk of stranding the team because he has faith in its ability to create its own device, something Valeria easily does with the help of assembled geniuses like Black Panther and Spider-Man.  This part is great.  It puts the science front and center, exactly where it should be.  Slott also manages to hit emotional notes just right, a major accomplishment for him.  Ben's conversations with Franklin is great.  Whereas Peter tries to lay the "with great power..." talk on him, Ben rejects putting the responsibility to stop the Griever squarely on Franklin's adolescent shoulders.  As Franklin despairs over his failure to stop her, Ben tells him that guys like them draw strength from their family and keep trying even when they fail.  I totally cried when they jointly declared it was clobberin' time.  For me, the only downside of this issue is that Reed and Susan are still acting weirdly.  Franklin all but collapses when he sees Ben, telling Ben that he knew they shouldn't have left them for the five years.  Johnny's joyous and wordless reunion with Valeria is equally moving.  But, they only serve to highlight the question at the heart of this relaunch:  why didn't Reed and Sue tell Ben and Johnny they were alive?  The recent issue of "Marvel Two-in-One" focused on Ben and Reed also didn't answer this question, and at some point Slott is going to have to get to it.  But, in the meantime, he's told a pretty spectacular (heh) Fantastic Four story here.  I'm legit excited about the wedding.


Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #312:  This issue is OK.  The idea of using the Central Park Zoo’s full allotment of tranquilizers on Morlun is solid.  The problem is that Morlun is always conveniently slow at exactly the right moments.  Last issue we saw how fast and seemingly unstoppable Morlun is; in other words, it showed why he’s such a threat.  Here, Miles fights Morlun but fails to stop him in his search for Peter.  However, Miles is able to find Jameson, have a conversation with him, find Peter, and have a conversation with him all before Morlun finds them.  It’s a little unrealistic, given how in awe of Morlun’s superior speed and tracking ability we’re supposed to be.

Uncanny X-Men #1:  This issue is so bad that I really have to wonder what the purpose of editors is, if they allow something so terrible to get to market.  No, seriously, it’s that bad.  Let's get to it.

First, the plot makes little sense from moment to moment.  The tension of this initial arc is that someone — we don’t know who, at this point — has created a “vaccine” that can “cure” mutantdom.  OK, I get that part.  That's pretty standard fare and not a terrible way to up the stakes so high that every mutant is called off the benches.  But, the actions we see here related to that central tension make no sense.  First, for some reason, Kitty takes a group of trainees to stop Forearm from destroying a pharmacy.  The first problem is the “trainees” are Anole, Armor, Glob Herman, Idie, Pixie, and Rockslide.  Really?  Are we pretending they’re still trainees?  (One of the back-up stories implies Anole and Armor are annoyed about this treatment, but pet peeve #3 says an author can’t just have a character note how idiotic a situation is and get credit for it.)  To make matters worse (an  expression I'll use a lot in this review), the authors portray X-23 as a hardened X-Man, even though she was part of Kyle and Yost’s New X-Men team with Anole, Armor, Pixie, and Rockslide.  But, whatever.  It's the least of our worries at this point.  More problematically, Kitty  doesn’t put two and two together to realize where Forearm is, the Mutant Liberation Front may not be far behind.  This lapse in judgment is particularly notable because they’re going to save the pharmaceutical factory creating the “cure,” something Kitty doesn’t tell the kids and they only learn after she mysteriously disappears.  Professor X much, Kitty?  Also, you didn't think the MLF would hit a target like a pharmacy producing a "cure" for mutantdom?  Also, note I mentioned Kitty "disappears."  She does exactly that:  as she's trying to find a place to land the Blackbird, she disappears, causing the Blackbird to crash and leaving the "kids" on their own to face the MLF.  Way to lead, Kitty.  Way to lead.

Meanwhile, we shift to some sort of public debate happening on the steps of City Hall between a new Robert Kelly-esque Senator and Kitty.  However, as previously noted, Kitty isn't there as she's, natch, disappeared.  But, I don't even remotely get how she thought she would be there.  They were just going to dispatch a MLF-less Forearm and she'd pop into the rally, looking well rested and ready for the cameras?  Has she developed the power to bend space and time?  At any rate, Jean is nervous to take Kitty's place, even though she repeatedly advocated the mutant cause to the entire world in “X-Men Red.”  Also, what sort of debate happens this way?  Who decided it was a good idea to have a mutantphobic politician and the X-Men’s leader debate on the steps of City Hall in front of a crowd with no obvious security other than the Senator's bodyguards?  Seriously, I'm not crazy here, right?  I also have to note the art in this section is SO BAD, you guys.  Angel, Betsy, and Jean look like they’ve been forcibly de-aged to childhood, and I didn’t recognize Sam or Northstar at all.  Worst of all, Kitty looks almost exactly like Victoria Beckham, which...no.  It’s just awful.  At any rate, it ends in chaos — shocker, I know — when Jamie Madrox — who Jean saw in a vision to start off the issue — appears on stage and has his dupes inexplicably attack the crowd.  Also someone...hypnotizes Angel?  Honestly, I just have no idea.

At this point, we just sort of abandon the main story and move into three back-up stories that tell one overarching story.  Since I’m reading this issue many months late, I’m assuming the mysterious figure trying to take back Dark Beast and the Sugar Man is Nate Grey.  But, I have no idea how that story is connected with the initial story, in terms of substance or timing.  To make matters worse (see), the “Director’s Cut” then includes 226 pages of filler — covers, scripts, etc.  Honestly, couldn’t they have maybe focused a little more on the actual stories in the issue?  Like, I don't need to read this issue again in script form.  One time was more than enough.

Seriously, I don’t understand how the relaunch of this series after such a long hiatus could be so rushed.  The frustrating part is the overarching plot is more or less fine.  All the editors had to do was to make a few tweaks here and there to take some of the less fleshed out parts of the book (like Kitty's ability to bend space and time) and it would've be fine.  Maybe not stellar, but fine.  Instead, we get a garbled mess that makes me worry Marvel is once again going to screw up an X-Men relaunch.  I guess the more things change...

The Weatherman #6:  Leheup really nails the landing here as he wraps up this first arc.  We learn the Cowboy -- or the Farmer, as we more accurately define him here -- didn't kill the Pearl to save Nathan:  he killed the Pearl so he could kill Nathan.  But, Amy successfully fights off the Farmer's partner -- who Garren later calls Pinker-Bell -- and stops the Farmer before he does the deed.  She recruits him to her cause by convincing him Nathan is the link to the Sword of God, showing how she let Pinker-Bell live as a sign of good faith.  She then uses the memory drug we've previously seen to rescue Nathan from his thought loop, and we finally get to see a glimpse of who he was.  It's not who we thought, as he tries to convince Jenner to stop letting his men kill Shimani rebels seeking to secede from Arcadia.  The memory jolts Nathan awake.  Later, Amy gets Dr. Wetzel to tell her the location of Miriam Nyseth, and Garren insists on joining Amy in her quest so he can watch her back, as he doesn't trust the Farmer or Pinker-Bell.  (Garren seems to be the only person in this series with common sense.)  They're all surprised to discover their destination (and presumably Nyseth's location):  a satellite-surrounded Earth.  Previously, I thought Earth had been destroyed, but it now seems more likely the Sword of God released some sort of biological weapon?  All I know is I can't wait for the second act!

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #9; Darth Vader #23; Detective Comics #992; Dragon Age:  Deception #2; Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra #26; Thor #7; Vault of Spiders #2

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