Not-Very-Deep Thoughts: The April 27 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #11:  I've read a lot of time-travel stories.  Most of them I don't like, because they're either too confusing or they fail to think through the impact of characters' actions in the past on the present.  This one?  This story takes the cake.  Vernon reveals himself to be the grandson of the original Scorpio and uses the Zodiac Key and the Orrery to open up a doorway that allows him to see a year into the future.  (Slott doesn't explain who created the doorway.  He just tells us that the other Scorpios didn't use it is because it required a specific alignment of the planets to open.  We do learn that the Zodiacs are ordinary civilians turned into Scorpio's henchman via masks, though I was pretty sure that Slott had hinted in previous issues that they were LMDs "related" to Scorpio.)  Spidey doesn't know what he should do, so he simply shoves Scorpio through the door, allegedly a year into the future.  [Sigh.]  Can he maybe just fight the Shocker next issue?

Avengers Standoff:  Assault on Pleasant Hill - Omega #1:  As I mentioned in a previous review, I haven't really had much to say about this event, since it's been extremely well done.  The ending is no less satisfying.  The World Council finally seems ready to hold Maria Hill accountable for her remarkable string of disasters, Wendell Vaughn (one my favorite characters from the '80s) has returned to train a new Quasar, and several classic Avengers villains -- namely Baron Zemo and the Red Skull -- have returned to prominence.  Most importantly, the series has brought together the two major Avengers teams, with Steve Rogers realizing the importance of looking past their differences and working together.  (Just in time for "Civil War II!")  The only remaining question hanging over the series is that I'm not entirely sure if Spencer ever explained why we had two Maria Hills, though I'm just going to chalk up that oddness to Kobik.  But, given that most of these events end with me having no clue what I just read, one loose end is pretty much an A+ on the curve.

Batman #51:  This issue is like something you'd read in "Greatest Batman Stories Ever Told, Part IV" a one-off tale focusing on the legend of Batman.  It explores the role that Batman plays in Gotham, picking up the theme from "Superheavy" of Batman inspiring people to be their own heroes (as opposed to scaring villains into going straight, as he's normally portrayed).  The most notable part of it, though, is Bruce exhibiting something akin to a sense of humor.  The narrator of the issue refers to Gotham as having gotten lighter since Batman came on the scene, and this remark seems to Snyder's way of driving home the idea that Bruce himself may be lighter after his "death."  It seems that it's not just the physical scars that have gone.  The issue also wraps up Snyder and Capullo's run.  I've been pretty open about the fact that I found Snyder's time portraying Dick Grayson as Batman to be a much more compelling run.  I never bought into his view of Batman as functionally incompetent, as we often saw him be during events like "Night of the Owls" and "Death of the Family."  But, in the wake of "Batman and Robin Eternal," I feel happy at least with the way that Snyder is leaving him.  He's whole for the first time in a long time, both in terms of his emotional and physical well-being as well as his relationships.  Onwards and upwards!

Grayson #19:  Again, this issue isn't exactly full of heart, but Lanzing and Kelly give us the answers that we wanted, for the most part.  Dr. Dedalus has taken over Helena, revealing that his plan was always to be resurrected (and not to pass on his title to one of his daughters, as they thought).  That said, Luka shoots her sister to earn the right to join him as Leviathan.  However, she eventually has enough and attempts to assassinate him, to take her place at the center of the web.  Of course, he expected that and (a little too easily) throws her from a train.  Meanwhile, Maxwell Lord reveals that he created Mr. Minos (a "radical Wikileaks wannabe" to whom he anonymously gave resources) in order to get the identities of the Justice League members.  A dying Dr. Netz's last act is to destroy the archive, bringing this series full circle.  (Hilariously, Lord describes Minos creating the Justice League gestalt as Minos going mad with power, dismissing a plot from early in the series that still doesn't make much sense to me.)  Meanwhile, Tiger is revealed to have been a Checkmate agent focused on stopping Dedalus from the start, and he and Dick fight to get to Helena:  Tiger to kill her, Dick to save her.  We'll see which one wins next issue!

Justice League #49:  Is Darkseid Superwoman's baby daddy?  Is that the threat to Mobius?  At this stage, we still don't know why Mobius wants to return to his chair and, presumably, become the Anti-Monitor again.  But, to make matters worse, Johns adds another layer of confusion here, as we learn that Grail believes that the Anti-Life Equation can do something other than destroy.  (I believe Myrina hinted at that in the "Justice League:  Darkseid War - Special" #1.)  Honestly, it's getting hard to see how Johns is going to wrap up this "event" in three issues.

Star Wars #18:  Seriously, I don't know how many times I can say it, but this series continues to be the best one on the market, hands down.  I don't know how Aaron does it, but, after 18 issues, he still manages to get the characters' voices exactly right.  Even new characters, like, Dr. Aphra and Sana, "sound" like I think they should sound.  Moreover, everyone reacts to situations the way that you'd expect them to react:  Leia remains determinedly in charge even as chaos erupts around her, Han is confident in his bravado, etc.  Aaron also constantly shows us that it's only the tip of the iceberg.  In this issue alone, we've got Leia trying to discover the identity of the guy that took over Sunspot Prison as well as the mysterious beef that Aphra and Sana have.  Aaron makes it clear that it's a big galaxy with a lot of great stories.

Also Read:  Batgirl #51; Dark Knight III:  The Master Race #4; Ms. Marvel #6; Spidey #5

Not-Very-Deep Thoughts: The April 13 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #9:  In this issue, we learn that Peter can not only survive a plunge to Earth from low orbit, but can also survive immediately getting a car dropped on him and later jumping off a high-speed train.  No problem.  Apparently he got Deadpool's healing factor at some point during the re-boot.  [Sigh.]  Also, the "Parker luck" seems to have changed:  he survives his initial fight with Scorpio because Scorpio had to leave immediately, unable even to pull the trigger on his gun.  Sure, Scorpio could've just shot Spidey in the head while he waited for the self-driven motorcycle that Gemini sent to whisk him to the train station.  Instead, he complained to Gemini via their comm-link about not having the time to shoot Spidey.  Unfortunately, the price for getting Deadpool's healing factor and Domino's luck is that he's apparently become an idiot:  we learn that he's turned over all of Parker Industries' secrets to Scorpio's civilian identity, Vernon Jacobs, because he's the company's largest investor.  I don't really think companies are run that way, where major share-holders can snap their fingers and get all the codes for everything.  But, then again, I didn't think Spider-Man could leap from a satellite in low orbit and survive the fall, so what do I know?  [Another sigh.]  It may really be time for Slott to go.

Illuminati #6:  I've been really enjoying "Avengers Standoff."  It reminds me of "Acts of Vengeance" and some of the other really well done cross-over events of the '90s.  It's just been fun.  Sure, you get the ethical debate between Maria Hill and Steve Rogers in the background, but we've been dancing that dance for years.  Until this issue, the only hint of emotion was the revelation that Maria Hill was planning on using Kobik on herself.  But, here, Williamson does the impossible, turning Crusher Creel into a sympathetic character as he deals with the repercussions of his time in Pleasant Hill.  Namely, Crusher has to confront the fact that it was the happiest that he's ever been, a happiness enjoyed in no small part due to his crush on "Eva," a.k.a. Elektra.  Eventually, Elektra has to stop him from killing innocent bystanders as he rampages through Pleasant Hill, and Henderson does an amazing job contrasting their fight scene with the dance that "Harold" and "Eva" shared the previous evening.  If you're reading this cross-over event, you have to read this issue, because it gives the event its heart.  Who knew even Crusher Creel had depths?

Spidey #4:  Um, I loved this issue.  Seriously.  Sure, it's jokey, but it's jokey because Peter's jokey.  Underneath the quips, it actually walks us through the challenges that Peter faced as an adolescent hero, particularly the loneliness that he felt at the start of his career, when he alone carried his secret.  Oddly, it's Doctor Doom and a boy wearing a Spidey mask named Owen that help him work through it.  Doom insists people like them are always lonely, but Owen reminds him not only why he does what he does (because he's a good guy, unlike Doom), but that he's got people that support him (even if they're just kids with jelly sandwiches).  It's a really touching story, and it makes me increasingly feel like Thomson really has something going here, continuity aside.

Also Read:  Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. #4; All-New X-Men #8; All-New, All-Different Avengers #8; Darth Vader #18 and #19; Pathfinder:  Hollow Mountain #5; Spider-Gwen #7; Star Wars Special:  C-3PO #1

Not-Very-Deep Thoughts: The March 30 and April 6 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

All-New X-Men #7:  Hopeless legitimately makes you wonder if he's going to kill Scott here, as he has to collapse a tunnel on himself to escape Toad.  It's a remarkable feat, given how cynical of a comic-book reader I am, so I felt that it merited mentioning.

Detective Comics #51:  You have to wonder if Tomasi knew the DCnU was ending or if he's going to have to wrap up this story more quickly than he expected.  After all, this story feels like the start of an ambitious arc, as Jim Gordon travels to Afghanistan to discover who (or what) is killing his former unit mates.  It's a gripping story, with Tomasi doing an amazing job of really immersing you into the lives of the people fighting our foreign wars.  I do have two nitpicks, though.  First, Jim doesn't seem to think through the implications of him appearing as Jim Gordon on the base and then as Batman to shake down the crooked Colonel.  Rookie mistake, Jimbo.  (That said, I don't think that the Colonel is going to survive long enough to put two and two together.)  Second, I'm still not sure how old we're supposed to believe Jim is.  We invaded Afghanistan in 2001.  Even if Jim was in the Marines at the start of the war -- in that first wave -- it means that he's only been a cop for 15 years.  But, he does have a daughter old enough to be in a Ph.D. program.  Even if he had her at 18 years old and Barbara herself is 24 years old, he's got to be at least 42 years old.  Did he become a cop at 27 years old?  Was he in the Marines until then?  That said, Barbara has always remembered him as a cop, not a soldier, so it actually implies that he left the Corps before she could remember.  Did he leave almost immediately after she was born, say, when he was 20 years old.  If so, what did he do between 20 and 27?  Was he a cop in Chicago during that time?  Oh, well.  We're going to reboot the whole universe in an issue anyway, so I guess that it doesn't matter.

Spider-Man 2099 #9:  My problem with this issue is that I still really have no idea who David wants us to believe that Tempest -- or, for that matter, her mother, Cecilia -- is.  In fact, Tempest seems to be a totally different character now -- with an entirely different history -- than she originally was.  When we first met Tempest, she was the foul-tempered super at the crappy apartment building where Miguel rented a place.  She had cancer, her mother "never gave a damn about [her] growing up" (series 2, issue #11), and her father wanted a boy so took her to "every game he could afford" (series 2, issue #2).  However, David has been straying from this script significantly.  First, we don't really have any idea what Tempest is doing now that she and Miguel are together, though it seems like she's no longer a super.  Then, we learn that her mother is a mutant (or, knowing Marvel, an Inhuman), that she kept Tempest isolated for fear that she had inherited her powers, and that she murdered her Mob-connected second husband when she discovered that he used to take hidden-camera photos of Tempest.  I'm assuming that it's not the same father that took her to the ball games, particularly since her mom mentions that Tempest never liked him.  (No wonder.)  The problem with that theory is that Tempest's mom also says in this issue that Tempest's birth father abandoned them when she was four years old.  It's hard to believe that she'd remember games she attended as a three-year-old.  So, which is it?  Moreover, is Cecilia just a caring mother that scared away Miguel for his own good, as she claims here?  Hiring Man Mountain Marko seems to be taking that approach to an extreme.  Or, is it more sinister, like she whacked her husband and took over his criminal empire ?  Do we just blame it on "Secret Wars?"  It's all unclear.

Uncanny Avengers #8:  I don't think that I've commented on "Avengers Standoff," mainly, I think, because I'm actually enjoying it.  It's a little decentralized, but that format actually helps highlight the confusion that the characters themselves feel.  The problem that I had in this issue has nothing to do with "Standoff," though.  Duggan has Deadpool claim that Steve put him on the team to remind the other members that everyone wasn't gods.  It's a fair point...but one undermined by the fact that he's not in his costume when he delivers it.  As a result, we see his cancer-ridden body, and we're reminded how extraordinary his healing factor is.  Black Widow and Hawkeye are powerless humans that remind us that all the Avengers aren't gods:  Deadpool doesn't really fit in that category.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #1.4; Batgirl #50; Batman and Robin Eternal #26; Black Panther #1; Captain America:  Sam Wilson #7; Justice League of America #8; Justice League:  Darkseid War - Special #1; Midnighter #11; New Avengers #9; Poe Dameron #1; Spider-Man #3