Not-Very-Deep Thoughts: The March 30 and April 6 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

All-New X-Men #7:  Hopeless legitimately makes you wonder if he's going to kill Scott here, as he has to collapse a tunnel on himself to escape Toad.  It's a remarkable feat, given how cynical of a comic-book reader I am, so I felt that it merited mentioning.

Detective Comics #51:  You have to wonder if Tomasi knew the DCnU was ending or if he's going to have to wrap up this story more quickly than he expected.  After all, this story feels like the start of an ambitious arc, as Jim Gordon travels to Afghanistan to discover who (or what) is killing his former unit mates.  It's a gripping story, with Tomasi doing an amazing job of really immersing you into the lives of the people fighting our foreign wars.  I do have two nitpicks, though.  First, Jim doesn't seem to think through the implications of him appearing as Jim Gordon on the base and then as Batman to shake down the crooked Colonel.  Rookie mistake, Jimbo.  (That said, I don't think that the Colonel is going to survive long enough to put two and two together.)  Second, I'm still not sure how old we're supposed to believe Jim is.  We invaded Afghanistan in 2001.  Even if Jim was in the Marines at the start of the war -- in that first wave -- it means that he's only been a cop for 15 years.  But, he does have a daughter old enough to be in a Ph.D. program.  Even if he had her at 18 years old and Barbara herself is 24 years old, he's got to be at least 42 years old.  Did he become a cop at 27 years old?  Was he in the Marines until then?  That said, Barbara has always remembered him as a cop, not a soldier, so it actually implies that he left the Corps before she could remember.  Did he leave almost immediately after she was born, say, when he was 20 years old.  If so, what did he do between 20 and 27?  Was he a cop in Chicago during that time?  Oh, well.  We're going to reboot the whole universe in an issue anyway, so I guess that it doesn't matter.

Spider-Man 2099 #9:  My problem with this issue is that I still really have no idea who David wants us to believe that Tempest -- or, for that matter, her mother, Cecilia -- is.  In fact, Tempest seems to be a totally different character now -- with an entirely different history -- than she originally was.  When we first met Tempest, she was the foul-tempered super at the crappy apartment building where Miguel rented a place.  She had cancer, her mother "never gave a damn about [her] growing up" (series 2, issue #11), and her father wanted a boy so took her to "every game he could afford" (series 2, issue #2).  However, David has been straying from this script significantly.  First, we don't really have any idea what Tempest is doing now that she and Miguel are together, though it seems like she's no longer a super.  Then, we learn that her mother is a mutant (or, knowing Marvel, an Inhuman), that she kept Tempest isolated for fear that she had inherited her powers, and that she murdered her Mob-connected second husband when she discovered that he used to take hidden-camera photos of Tempest.  I'm assuming that it's not the same father that took her to the ball games, particularly since her mom mentions that Tempest never liked him.  (No wonder.)  The problem with that theory is that Tempest's mom also says in this issue that Tempest's birth father abandoned them when she was four years old.  It's hard to believe that she'd remember games she attended as a three-year-old.  So, which is it?  Moreover, is Cecilia just a caring mother that scared away Miguel for his own good, as she claims here?  Hiring Man Mountain Marko seems to be taking that approach to an extreme.  Or, is it more sinister, like she whacked her husband and took over his criminal empire ?  Do we just blame it on "Secret Wars?"  It's all unclear.

Uncanny Avengers #8:  I don't think that I've commented on "Avengers Standoff," mainly, I think, because I'm actually enjoying it.  It's a little decentralized, but that format actually helps highlight the confusion that the characters themselves feel.  The problem that I had in this issue has nothing to do with "Standoff," though.  Duggan has Deadpool claim that Steve put him on the team to remind the other members that everyone wasn't gods.  It's a fair point...but one undermined by the fact that he's not in his costume when he delivers it.  As a result, we see his cancer-ridden body, and we're reminded how extraordinary his healing factor is.  Black Widow and Hawkeye are powerless humans that remind us that all the Avengers aren't gods:  Deadpool doesn't really fit in that category.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #1.4; Batgirl #50; Batman and Robin Eternal #26; Black Panther #1; Captain America:  Sam Wilson #7; Justice League of America #8; Justice League:  Darkseid War - Special #1; Midnighter #11; New Avengers #9; Poe Dameron #1; Spider-Man #3