Friday, February 15, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The December 19 and 26 Everyone-but-X Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Given how many events and series wrapped up December 19, this review might as well be called, "EVERYTHING ENDS!"

Batman #61:  This issue is much more gripping than King’s previous work, though it does still have King's trademark of a literary quote that advances the plot not at all.  Unfortunately, the issue has nothing to do with Batman, focusing instead on the kid who murdered his parents because he wanted to be like Bruce Wayne.  But, wait, you might ask?  Didn’t we end last issue on a cliffhanger, with Batman discovering his father, Thomas Wayne from the “Flashpoint” Universe, was colluding with Bane?  Yes, fellow reader, yes, we did.  But, I guess we have to take a good issue from Tom King when we get one.


Captain America #6:  Reading this issue, it’s easy to forget Alexa Lukin isn’t actually a person, but a character.  Coates is that good at showing the fire within her.  Alexa understands that symbols matter.  It’s why she resurrected her husband:  she knows Russia needs a leader who can inspire them while she pulls the strings from the shadows.  On the flipside, she also understands that she doesn’t need to kill Steve Rogers the man:  she just has to kill Captain America the symbol.  As such, she has someone murder Thunderbolt Ross and make it look like Steve did it.  Hydra damaged Captain America the symbol almost beyond repair:  with Alexa, we may be able to drop the “almost.”  But, Coates also makes it clear that it's not a slam dunk that she's going to win.  That warning comes from her mentor, Rasputin.  He makes two observations;  first, that she doesn’t understand the price of her “endeavor” and, second, that Lukin may not return the same man as he was.  Coates makes it clear Rasputin understands that reality from first-hand experience, and it makes his warning all the more chilling.  Coates also uses the conversation between the two of them to explain that Selene didn’t drain the lifeforce from Sharon to resurrect Lukin; she just needed a drop of his blood, as she was his killer.  Alexa then used her magic to do the rest.  I can’t wait to see where we go next.  This series now enters, like, its 14th year of awesome, after the amazing runs by Brubaker, Remember, and Spencer.  Cap fans, we are spoiled.

Darth Vader #25:  Whoa.  This issue does not disappoint.  Soule pulls out all the stops here as Vader is forced to walk through his past — as child, adolescent, and man — to get to Padmé.  (Camuncoli really seemed to enjoy the battle with the Jedi, in particular Vader spearing Yoda!)  It all leads to the moment we knew was coming, but not before the Emperor and Obi-Wan battle to see who Vader’s father (spiritually, at least) really is.  When the Emperor wins, it seems clear where the story is going.  Vader makes his way to Padmé and resumes his Anakin form.  But, Padmé tells him what we all now know:  Anakin Skywalker is dead.  (She then promptly falls off the balcony and disintegrates, to underline the point.)  Vader grieves and then he’s expelled from Forceland.  He awakens in his fortress on Mustafar, and he destroys the rock that allowed him to enter Forceland.  He then uses his communicator to tell the Emperor he’s returning, having learned the lesson he needed to learn.  Ouch.  Soule doesn’t pull any punches here, and it’s great to see.  As I’ve previously said, I read the first issue of the original series hoping we’d see an exploration of the remnants of Anakin in Vader.  Soule delivered on that hope, and he also delivers a now fully formed Vader.  Anakin Skywalker is dead.  Long live Darth Vader.

Infinity Wars #6:  This issue makes not a lick of sense.  I get the sense if I read it again it might -- maybe -- make a lick of sense.  In fact, maybe if I read all the issues together the event would make a few licks of sense.  But, I also kind of doubt it.  As far as I can tell, the Celestials show Loki his future, and he no longer needs the Infinity Stones.  As such, he returns them to Adam Warlock and the Infinity Watch, who in turn use the Stones to create a new planet and a new Universe.  The planet serves as the new home for the Warps, and the Universe is where the Infinity Watch copies all the souls of the existing Universe.  That way, when Devondra finally devours the Soul Gem and this Universe, everyone survives in the shiny new Universe.  But, there's a wrinkle:  Drax and his original self have to stay behind to keep open the portal.  Drax's original self happily survives on Warpworld, but Drax's fate isn't clear.  Once the transfer to the new Universe is complete, Moondragon and Phyla-Vell from the other Universe want Gamora dead.  But,Adam Warlock asks the Infinity Stones to send her where she's most needed (apparently in the Soul Gem to raise a child-like Magus).  He then imbues the Stones with their own souls, which makes, again, not a lick of sense, but it is what it is.  This entire event made no sense, and I regret every dollar I spent on it.  A curse on the House of Marvel!

Nightwing #55:  To be honest, this whole Ric Grayson arc is going much better than I expected.  But, I did have a moment here where I was reminded of the plot we had before this arc started, where Vicki Vale and that guy were kidnapped by some sort of artificial intelligence come to life.  I hope Vicki’s not waiting for Dick to save her.  Maybe she can spend time with Thomas Wayne while we wait for this series and "Batman" to return to their previously scheduled programming.

Old Man Hawkeye #12:  Sacks does a great job wrapping up this story.  I'll admit the fire burning through the first few issues has seemed dimmer these last few issues, but Sacks at least manages to stick the landing.  Perhaps the best moment is Kate using a sonic arrow to allow a now-blind Clint to "see" Bullseye.  He fires an arrow that not only slices in half the card Bullseye was throwing at him but also lands in Bullseye's eye.  Well done, Clint.  Bullseye dies with the word "glorious" on his lips.  (It's good for him that he doesn't survive to hear Clint confess to Kate he was aiming for his heart.)  Clint excitedly tells Kate about the scientist giving him the 99 vials of Super-Soldier Serum.  Kate realizes he's a lost cause; she had hoped killing the Thunderbolts would satiate his need for revenge, but she realizes it didn't.  She tearfully deposits him at Logan's doorstep before driving into the sunset.  My only complain is the last page seemed rushed to me, with too many panels on the page.  I didn't even realize Kate was crying at first, reducing the impact of what we realize is her final good-bye to Clint.  But, overall, Sacks delivers on the promise of the series, leaving Clint in no better place than where he began, a testament to the Wastelands if ever there was one.

Spider-geddon #5:  This issue just sort of dissolves into chaos as Gage uses a series of dei ex machina to limit the impact of the series on continuity.  To paraphrase Dickens, you're only going to like this issue if you buy the idea that Otto has found a way to use the cloning technology not only to resurrect people but also to reconfigure them.  For example, Ben sacrifices himself to Jennix so his multiple lives drive Jennix insane.  (Here, you have to accept that devouring Ben would drive Jennix insane and that Otto and Ben knew it would.)  While the rest of the team fights the Inheritors, Otto resurrects Ben, apparently restoring him to his “factory settings.”  (Remember how Peter David wrote an entire series about how Ben’s soul would be irreparably lost if he died again...and then he died again...but somehow it wasn’t lost?  But then he died again again here, but somehow he’s actually better?  I’d rather watch Ben work his way to redemption the hard way, as David planned, but Marvel couldn’t seem to make that work, so this way is the quick way I guess.  Otto can alter souls with his machines.  Got it.)  Anyway, Otto then uses the technology to reset Solus’ children to actual childhood, for Spider-Ma’am to raise.  How did Otto manage to do that?  No one really says.  Again, we're just supposed to accept Otto is a genius and found a way not only to clone them but also to de-age them.  Gage tries to explain the positive outcome by saying Solus was the one who turned his children into monsters, torturing them and instilling the Hunger in them.  Also, I didn’t read the “Spider-Girls” series, but apparently Annie from “Renew Your Vows” is the Patternweaver and she can remake the Web of Life and Destiny.  She implies her knowledge of the Inheritors’ past means this revision will stick, but we’ll see.  At any rate, Gage also ties up a loose end by seemingly having Gwen off-panel use her Web-Warriors watch to rescue Ashley, Charlie, and Kaine from the world where the Inheritors were trapped.  He also has Spider-Girl’s father became The Other.  Is it all sort of ridiculous and overly convenient, like Marvel had a list of ret-cons they thrust on Gage at the last minute?  Yes, yes, it is.  But, I like the outcomes of those ret-cons, so I guess I’m OK with them.  Can we have a “Scarlet Spiders” series now, please?

West Coast Avengers #6:  I don't know about you guys, but I wanted nothing more than to read a "West Coast Avengers" issue featuring the team stuck in a good ol' fashioned murder carnival.  This issue is my everything:  the (pec-tacular) smirk on Hawkeye's face when he hits the shark with a bolt from a slingshot he fashioned from his shirt, America showing actual emotions by cheering him when he did so, Quentin blowing up the shark-infested pool, Johnny pushing himself to turn into water, Kate telling her "mother" to go stuff it because obviously she's not leaving her team, NOH-FREAKING-VARR!  I could just read this issue over and over again and be happy.  WEST COAST, BEST COAST!


Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #12; Fantastic Four #5; Infinity Wars:  Fallen Guardian #1; Thor #8

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