Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Not-Very-New Comics: The February 27 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  X-Tremists #1:  This issue is bizarre mostly because I just don't understand what we're supposed to believe about Bobby.  He seems either seriously mentally ill or intellectually limited here.  He has a running gag with Jubilee about whether wax paper is the same as a baking sheet, and I can't for the life of me figure out why Williams included it.  Is it because he himself has been reprogrammed so many times it's broken him?  Plus, he's pretty chummy with Jubilee, which seems like a no-no.  Also, why are they baking "thank-you cookies" for the X-Men?  Isn't saying thanks a form of intimacy?  I can't tell if this issue is supposed to be this bizarre or if Williams is just throwing random stuff at us to see if it sticks.  The main tension of this mini-series appears to be the fact one of the "'grades" the X-Tremists capture is pregnant, presenting them with a moral conundrum they've never previously faced.  But, if the next four issues are like this one, I'm not sure I can enough to see how they resolved it.

Captain America #8:  This issue couldn't be better.  First, Coates uses Steve's narration to let us know we're in the dark before the dawn.  I didn't realize we needed that, but we did.  Coates is telling us to have faith in Steve, at a time when no one has faith in Steve.  It feels conspiratorial, a reminder we, the fans, will be rewarded for our faith.  America may have turned its back on Steve, but damn if we will.  Sharon also hasn't turned her back on Steve, and she's as masterful here as she always is.  She shakes down the Kingpin for information, wisely intuiting that Kingpin might've allowed Alexa to knock off Ross in his New York but he wouldn't be happy about sharing the stage with a new upstart villain.  He provides her the information she wants, that the Foreigner killed Ross.  Meanwhile, Steve sits in von Strucker's prison, with the Wrecking Crew telling him to take his moralizing and shove it.  Sure, they killed people but Steve did, too, with all his inspirational speeches.  Steve insists inspiring people isn't murder, but Piledriver tells him to ask Rick Jones about that.  (Ouch.)  While Steve realizes he needs a new name, Alexa secures a presidential pardon for Other Steve.  It's a particularly clever moment, because it's the third leg of the stool of corruption Coates is building her:  Kingpin as mayor of New York, a pardoned von Strucker running a prison, a pardoned Other Steve in the wild.  Coates is pretty openly commenting on our era of the grift, and he does so perfectly.  But, he also reminds us the villains might've overplayed their hand, and it feels like we see that when Alexa and Selene do something to turn Other Steve into a monster.  At first, I thought they would just use his face to make things worse for Steve.  Deciding to turn him into a monster seems a bad call.  I can't wait to see how it all unfolds.  I don't know if "Captain America" has ever been better, and that's a high bar considering how amazing it's been since Remender's days.


Detective Comics #999:  It's pretty fucking ballsy for Tomasi to reveal the last few issues have all been a simulation Batman runs every year on his birthday, a way of forcing himself to be the best he can be by sending his own self to try to kill him.  But, you know what?  I kind of buy it.  I normally hate these sorts of issues, but Tomasi sells through the dialogue, as Bruce's doppelgänger reminds him how he sacrificed himself so other children could have the childhood he didn't.  Tomasi even goes one better as Bruce takes out his surrogate parents, Leslie and Alfred, for dinner.  It follows the theme of "Batman Annual #3 (the "Father's Day" issue), turning a terribly brutal arc into a somewhat uplifting one.

The Flash #65:  Ugh.  Williamson had a good thing going when he focused on Bruce's relationship with Gotham Girl, but he jettisons that quickly here, presumably forced by management to focus on Barry and Bruce's "Heroes in Crisis" conflict.  It goes...poorly.  I don't for a minute believe Bruce would raise to Barry's bait as quickly as he does here, and I definitely don't believe he'd criticize him so cruelly for forgetting Wally existed.  But, "Heroes in Crisis" is apparently all about overwrought melodrama, so I'm at least glad I haven't subjected myself to it.  Along the way to this moment, Batman and Flash somehow miraculously save Claire, resurrecting her after she dies from the "super Venom" overloading her system.  You'd figure she'd be dead-dead, given she burns up her life energy every time she uses her power.  Instead, they just administer super-powered CPR, which somehow does the trick.  Also, she conveniently doesn't remember who gave her the "super Venom."

The Realm #11:  This issue is one of the most interesting of the series despite nothing really happening.

In terms of the main two storylines, we the start the issue with a trio of scarred humanoids escorting Redjaw and his companion back to Johnny.  (Haun only vaguely shows their faces, so I can't tell if they're actually human.)  One of the humanoids keeps running his mouth about how injured Redjaw looks.  While Redjaw's companion tells him to drop it, the humanoid hypothesizes Redjaw's too wounded to take back a portal, which is why Johnny sent the trio to collect them.  Redjaw has enough, leaps off his horse, and beats the humanoid to death.  I assume the remaining two humanoids will be quiet for the trip.  Meanwhile, we see Ben is in pursuit of the party.  Turning our attention to our party, Eli informs Will and Molly they're running low on supplies, and Will says he knows a guy near where they'll meet Rook who runs a farm where they can restock and trade.  Molly suggests Will tells them about his arm then, suggesting they put all their cards on the table.  Will responds by suggesting they tell him what David is carrying, to which Molly simply replies, "Fair enough."  Later, David discovers the symbol on the amulet the master used to restrain the monster inside Will is in one of the spellbooks that they swiped; he gives Will a curious look.  Elsewhere, Rook kills a pair of goblins who kidnapped a fairy, freeing it, before reuniting with the party.

But, the issue really gets interesting at this point, because Peck starts showing us other events happening in this world.  Mac and his party kill a bar full of patrons, arranging them in a circle so Mac can summon Johnny in one of the dead bodies.  Meanwhile, the Red Queen vomits all sorts of red fluid into a man, and he turns completely red like she is.  In his wanderings, he then infects another man, and they go their separate ways.  According to the Comixology intro to this issue, they're hunting for Will.  Interesting, they looked very normal, like you could've easily found them in a coffee shop in Williamsburg.

This issue and issue #10 are perfect examples of pet peeve #1:  their covers don't show what happens inside.  But, interestingly, the elephant-like creature that appeared on the cover of last issue appears briefly here, in one panel, though it seems like the rest of the party can't see him (despite looking in his direction).

West Coast Avengers #8:  I know I say it every month, but "West Coast, Best Coast!"  I love that the Skrulls are really vampires.  I mean, it's so old-school "West Coast Avengers."  That's exactly the sort of thing I'd expect to happen to them.  Also, they're not just vampires, but vampires using a Scientology-esque "religion" as a front.  It's so Los Angeles!  Man, I love this series.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #16; Avengers:  No Road Home #3; X-Force #3

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