Tuesday, December 17, 2024

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The May 8 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Boy Wonder #1:  I'm glad I put this issue on my top-shelf list, because it's as good as everyone says.  Ba uses a framing device in which Damian tells a story to a thief who's taken him hostage, because he feels like the guy could use a minute.  

The story involves him going on his first solo adventure.  Well, it's actually his second solo adventure.  On his first one, Damian cut off the perp's head and, seeing the horror on Batman's face when he found him, realizes that he doesn't fit into the Family.  But Damian hears of a demon plaguing Undersell and, while Bruce is outside Gotham on a mission, figures that he's the right Family member to stop it since he's a demon, too.  

Of course, Alfred is nothing if not observant and sends a married Dick and Barbara to watch over Damian who's furious.  They confront the "demons," but it turns out Clayface was posing as them to throw the cops off his trail.  Damian leaps into the fray too quickly and has to watch as Dick and Barbara take down Clayface.  After the battle, Damian watches Dick kiss Barbara and realizes that both he and his father lack this trait that Dick has:  love.  Dick also tells Damian that they're not just there to beat up bad guys but to help their victims, too.  

Damian heads into the night and stops a mugging.  Remembering Dick's words, he helps the older woman to his feet as an enormously proud Dick watches from the rooftops.  Damian is also pleased with himself but then hears the woman scream again as a demon grabs her and escapes.  Damian narrates that he now needs a hunter, so we're seeing Jason next issue. 

Again, it's just great.  It isn't morose, but it isn't fluff, and the art is spectacular.  I highly recommend.

Crocodile Black #1:  I loved Johnson's "The Last God," and I was excited to jump on here.  I read the issue twice, and Johnson manages to tell us what the point of the story is without giving away the farm, so I'm excited to see where we go.

In May 2021, someone brutally kills a "security guard" (think "Mafia don's henchman") on the ground floor of a house.  Before the killer murders him, the second guard recognizes the killer and tells him the don is upstairs.  The killer still crashes a potted plan on his head.

A month earlier, teenager Danny is listening to a movie while drawing in a sketchbook when the parental controls end his movie.  He exits his room, and his mom is overly enthusiastic in greeting him.  His older sister, Jess, invites him to watch a movie; Danny says she doesn't have to do so (as a red squiggly figure appears on the floor between them), and Jess says she wants to do it.  He agrees and prepares to leave for his job delivering groceries.  Danny's mom tells him that she wants him to follow the rules so he can "move up" and tells him to say good-bye to his father before he leaves.  Danny replies that his father is working and leaves.

On the job, Danny is talking to his therapist, complaining about his parents being "up in my shit all the time."  The therapist exposits that Danny has an obsessive disorder and they have to use things like parental controls to keep his escapism in check.  Danny tells his therapist that his favorite part of his job is wearing his mask when no one else is because he can be anyone he wants under there.  The therapist is rightfully disturbed by that comment.  He asks about his sketchbook and the last time he saw Matty, and we now see that the red squiggly guy is a doodle of a little boy with a cap sitting in Danny's backseat.

Dan arrives at a house with a delivery for Leo Black, and he's disturbed when he finds the house is largely abandoned.  Danny walks through the house looking for someone and eventually finds an old man dead in a chair.  Danny notices the man's black crocodile shoes and then calls 9-1-1.  After reporting the guy needing medical attention, Danny steals Black's still burning cigarette and wallet.

At dinner that night, Danny's mom asks about work, and Danny imagines his face in one of the shoes.  (It's weird.)  His sister comments on his ominous chuckle, but his clueless mom asks if it means he's making friends.  His mom hopes he'll get a better "score" and, OMG, this woman is clueless.  Danny then sees himself eating his spaghetti from the shoe when his dad asks if he did any drawing at work.  Everyone loses their shit.  Danny asks if his dad has been searching his room again, and his dad delivers an answer that confirms he's a dick:  "It's my house."  OMG, fuck you, dude.  

Danny reminds him that those drawings are from his sessions, and his father asks why Matty is on a tricycle.  Danny again reminds him that he said he couldn't go in his room again, and his father gleefully antagonizes him, saying that Danny claimed he couldn't remember anything so why is Matty on a tricycle.  (Clearly something traumatic happened here.)  Danny again tells him not to go through his shit, and Danny's father again says, "Or what?  It's my house."  Danny starts to leave, and Jess tries to stop him.  Danny's dad continues, saying he can answer the question given his brother "apparently vanished into thin fucking---"

Danny throws his plate at him, and his father comments, "Struck a nerve, huh?"  (I want this man to die alone and in pain.)  Danny's mom tells Danny's dad to shut his mouth, but Danny's dad says that it's good, they can see who he really is under there.  To this point, Danny begins to imagine a crocodile.  Danny leaves as his father insists he'll return and Jess stands in the doorstep asking him not to go.

One month later, Detective Trivosonno, or Triv, is investigating a crime scene, namely the one that started the issue.  In the past, we see Danny entering Leo's house and taking the crocodile shoes off his body.  (I think Danny returned to the house after the argument, but I'm not really sure.  After all, he called 9-1-1, so presumably they would've taken the body by the time Danny could return.  So maybe he did it when he initially found the body?)  Triv says that the boot prints are everywhere, which usually means that the perp wants to get caught.  But, here, Triv wonders if they're watching someone finding his calling.

In other words, it's creepy as fuck and I guess I'm totally rooting for a serial killer?  (It's certainly the month for that...)

Energon Universe 2024 Special #1:  Ho boy, the team really delivers here.

The "Transformers" story is spectacular, everything we've come to expect of Johnson.  It's like he knew we could go exactly this long, and not a moment longer, without Megatron, so he gets him in the game here.  In the familiar fight aboard the Ark that precedes the Transformers' arrival on earth, we see him monologuing and rampaging as he's wont to do.  He kills Brawn, and an enraged Optimus tells him to stop.  Megatron gloats that the "leader of the Autobots" is "begging for an end," which is a particularly Megatron spin on Optimus simply telling him to stop.  

Megatron accuses Optimus' softness of bringing "malaise to our precious home" and pokes out his eye screaming, "Your weakness was the downfall of Cybertron!"  But Optimus doesn't take it lying down and uses his energy axe to cut off Megatron's arm (explaining how it was on the Ark, as we've seen in "Transformers").  He then kicks Megatron out the Ark's open door, and Megatron is barely able to grab onto the Ark with his one good hand.  Starscream sees his chance and shoots Megatron in the eye, hilariously saying, "Shhh...don't worry...rest now."

Megatron falls to Earth where, as we know from "Cobra Commander," Cobra-La found him.  He awakens in the lab in Cobra-la, screaming, "Starscream."  Heh.  The scientists try to shut down Megatron but obviously fail, and he breaks his bonds.  He steps on a scientist and demands to know where his "limbs" are, and the scientist points him to the one they found.  (Megatron must've mellowed, because he lets him live.)  Megatron holds up his shoulder to the limb and it self-heals, which isn't a thing I think we've seen before.

At this point, Golobulus and his troops arrive, and Golobulus tells Megatron he belongs to him.  Megatron is cocky and starts to tear through the soldiers, but Golobulus manages to take out his remaining good eye.  Interestingly, Megatron screams that he isn't only the leader of the Decepticons but also of the "True Way."  Realizing he's losing, Megatron flees Cobra-La.  On a cliff in the mountains outside Cobra-La, he announces, "I am coming for you, Starscream."  I, for one, cannot wait!

Meanwhile, it just keeps getting better as we move onto the "Void Rivals" story.  At a spaceport, Skuxxoid is annoyed that Slizardo is pointing a blaster at him.  He explains that he found the alloy that matched the specifications Slizardo sent him but, after they agreed to meet at the spaceport, the Quintessons took it from him (as seen in "Void Rivals" #6).  He mentions the Quintessons' interest in the fact it was "Zertonian," at which point Hot Rod reveals himself!  You guys!  I cannot explain how stoked I am!

Hot Rod clearly hired Slizardo to find the alloy, and Kirkman does a great job nailing his personality in just this short scene.  ("Hello?  Giant intimidating robot here, remember?")  Hot Rod tells Skuxxoid that he's tracking "an ally of mine who's gone missing" and was "obsessed with an old Cybertroning legend, thinking it would lead him to some way of saving our world."  Skuxxoid gives Hot Rod all the information he has, including the trajectory of the Agorrian and Zertonian when they left.  Hot Rod quips, "Stay out of trouble, kids.  I mean it." and leaves, and Skuxxoid tells Slizardo he's going home to his wife and kids.  Meanwhile, an agent of some sort watches from the shadows.

The "G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero" story is solid and pretty straight-forward as Duke convinces the Baroness to join his team.  First, he has to convince Hawk, who isn't thrilled.  But Duke reminds Hawk that he wanted them thinking outside the box and notes the Baroness is the only one looking at the box through a sniper sight.  Later, two assailants attack the Baroness, and Duke saves her.  It turns out the assailants were Flint and Lady Jaye and Hawk sent them after her:  apparently, Hawk's reluctance to let Duke "hire" the Baroness was because he wanted her for a different team he's assembling.  And he wonders why he has "trust issues" with Duke!

Geiger #2:  OMG, I'm as over Nate as Geiger is.

The issue begins with Nate feeling guilty over the fact they killed a hog, leaving behind his mate and two piglets.  He tells Geiger about a one-eyed man who counted cards better than anyone at the Camelot and how the king eventually ordered Nate and his men to pluck out the man's remaining eye with a cocktail fork.  Geiger tells Nate that he isn't a priest and doesn't want to talk — they're just heading into Silverton, where the man who was cured allegedly last resided.

In Silverton, the sheriff tells them that the town would happily string up Nate given the torment the Nuclear Knights inflicted on the town.  Instead, the sheriff offers a trade:  if Geiger takes out a masked raider who's been stealing from the town, he'll give him the name of the man who was cured and his last known location and the townsfolk won't kill Nate.  Geiger says he isn't a gun-for-hire, and the sheriff says he'll really let the townsfolk kill Nate.

Geiger takes the deal, which probably sets up a pattern in coming issues, of Geiger as his own "A-Team."  (Nate certainly isn't B.A. or Face.)  Nate is once again prattling as they wait for the raider to arrive that night.  Geiger loses it when Nate says they're heroes, and his powers activate (despite the rods) and set his book on fire.  Geiger reminds Nate that the townsfolk would hang both of them if they had a chance, so it isn't heroism so much as a trade.  Geiger dismisses him as a waste of time, and Nate once again gets all hang-dog, forcing Geiger to feel badly (though grudgingly).

Thankfully, the raider arrives and distracts everyone.  Nate literally weighs down Geiger in the pursuit, but they finally catch the guy in a covered pickup truck where they find he has a wife and three kids.  Geiger spares him (but tells him to stop raiding the town) and gives the cracked mask to the sheriff to get the name:  Ash Arden in Lewistown, Montana.

Later, as Geiger and Nate depart for Montana, the raider tells his wife that Geiger was a gift from god who reminded them to return to the "righteous path."  Horrifyingly, though, the man from last issue appears and electrocutes the guy, demanding the wife tell him where the Glowing Man went before he moves onto the children.  The guy's face is familiar, so I think we know who he is?  I guess we'll see.

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