Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The November 20 Marvel Non-Event Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Captain America #16:  Coates really kicks it up a notch here as we make our way through the second act of this drama.  First, we see a situation that we almost never see:  a powerless Kingpin.  Coates explains that HYDRA's overthrow of the United States left the NYPD decimated and that it's now impossible to tell if some of the remaining officers are HYDRA loyalists.  Fisk called the Power Elite for help, and they provided soldiers to act as "cops" to make sure Fisk had some control over the NYPD.  After last issue's massacre, Fisk suspects an inside job, and he wants Lukin to give him information on these "cops."  Lukin refuses.  When the Kingpin gets mad, she cows him with a show of sorcery.

Meanwhile, Misty and Steve stumble upon a former Scourge base where they encounter U.S.Agent.  Can I just say how glad I am to see John back in the game?  Spencer did great work with him in his run, in part because it was easy to believe that fascists could manipulate John into pressing Sam to give up the shield.  But, Coates adds some nuance here, as John rages against Cap for betraying him.  John clearly believes that Steve was the Supreme Leader, and Coates does a great job conveying John's very, very personal anger at Steve.  I loved Cap's response, as he tells John that he'll explain over a beer one day.  Yes, they'll probably yell at each other and throw a few punches, but then they'll be good.  But, Steve stresses that they don't have time for that right now.  John seems to agree, telling Cap that he's barking up the wrong tree:  Scourge is an idea, not a person.  Later, Misty realizes that she didn't recognize any of the massacred "cops" from her time on the force.  Toni's research backs up her hunch, as she learned that all but Cap's friend Larimore were rookies.  Cap goes to question Fisk about it, but Fisk is seemingly assassinated.

In other words?  Whoa.  Coates makes this issue feel like you're watching a really intense episode of "Law and Order," an approach that fits this series well.  It's a great issue from start to finish, and I look forward to reading this title so much every month.  It continues to be a great era to be a Captain America fan.

Conan the Barbarian #11:  Conan awakens as a boy in his Cimmerian village, unsure of how he got there and surprised to find himself staring at his parents.  They believe that he lost his memory due to a fall from a tree.  His father gives him a good slap in the head, arguing that another blow to the head might restore his memory.  They then tell him that they have work to do.  Of course, said work is fighting off an oncoming horde.  Conan realizes that everything isn't as it seems and abandons his parents to make for the nearby mountain, even though his mother warns him that the mountain doesn't like it when people climb it.  Conan ages as he climbs the mountain, dying an untold number of times in his battles with the scourges the mountain sends his way.  This entire sequence is really just Aaron's way of letting Asrar loose, and it's a wonder to behold.

By the time Conan arrives at the summit, he's a man and you feel like you've earned your spot there as well.  But, Conan isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, and he continually defies the voice encouraging him to leave.  Eventually, the voice reveals itself to be Crom himself, and Asrar is on fire here.  You really feel Crom's grandeur, and it really makes Conan essentially telling Crom to go fuck himself all the more profound.  Conan is appalled that Crom is willing to let the Earth suffer under Razazel until the gods get tired of it and go to war with him to stop his plundering.  Conan tells Crom that he's a king with a responsibility to his people and that he'll meet Crom's responsibility to his people if Crom is unwilling to do it.  Aaron injects just a tiny bit of exhaustion and frustration in Conan's rant, as he somewhat adolescently complains to Crom that he spread his word throughout the lands and Crom never noticed.  Crom eventually curses Conan by returning him to life to fight Razazel, telling him that he'll rue this conversation when he dies old and forgotten (as opposed to dying brave and strong, as he would've done here).

It's really just a great issue, delving into Conan's psyche in a way that we don't normally see laid so plain, particularly when it comes to his sense of responsibility.  The back-up story also underlines Conan's sense of honor and loyalty, as he once again climbs a mountain, this time to save Zelandra.  Put together, the stories make you almost feel sorry for Razazel and his child minions as Conan awakens to face them.

King Thor #3:  I feel like Aaron has lost some steam here.  The girls travel to the planet Indigarr, where Thor sent the gods without planets after the events of "Thor:  God of Thunder - Godbomb."  Elli prays and convinces her sisters to join her.  In so doing, they awaken Indigarr's gods, who they bring with them to join the fight against Gorr.   But, even as Thor and eventually Loki emerge from the Necro-Ocean and join the girls and gods in the fight, it doesn't do any good.  Despite the constant heroic pontificating from the gods, they lose.  Atli chops off Gorr's head, but they then realize all the stars are dark, because Gorr has become the Universe.  Although it's Thor flying to confront Gorr the Necroverse, salvation likely will come in the form of Loki, who picks up Elli's book as they make a last stand against Gorr.  At this point, it all feels a little ridiculous, like Aaron has accidentally upped the stakes too much, making any solution seem overly convenient.  How does Loki overcome a Universe?  I guess we'll see.

Marauders #2:  You get you some Bobby!

I loved everything about this issue.  I loved Kate leaning into pirating and getting knuckle tattoos and a great coat.  I loved Storm expressing an extreme dislike of Batroc (which totally makes sense, given who she is and who he is) and displaying an agitated annoyance that we rarely see from her.  ("'Kill no man.'  I made a promise to kill no man.")  I loved Batroc negotiating with Kate in an attempt to sell at least some of the pilfered antibiotics that the Black King hired him to protect.  I loved Kate telling Batroc that money grows on trees on Krakoa as she orders Pyro to burn it.  I loved Emma playing a clearly bankrupt Sebastian like a fucking fiddle.  I loved Pyro enjoying himself immensely the whole time.  I definitely loved Bobby kissing some random guy at a Taipei gay bar and Kate kissing her tattoo artist.  I loved everyone's response to their new ship, from Storm's small-lettered "Oh, Emma" to even Bishop deciding he didn't have to return to Taipei too quickly.  I loved how I can't even describe how witty all the interactions are throughout this issue as Duggan just really leans into the characterizations and the dialogue.  

In addition to his character-first storytelling, Duggan continues to embrace the specifics of the reboot, as he makes it clear that the Marauders are wiling to break humanity's laws (as they steal a pleasure craft in Tokyo to chase down the Black King's ship, much to Storm's nervousness) to ensure that Krakoa's drugs get to the right people.  (Kate makes a point of burning Sebastian's supply, which he redirected from the African country, where it was supposed to go, to a U.S. country club, as a reminder that the drugs aren't a scarce resource.)  This issue is the best of the reboot so far, if not the best issue of the year.  I'm really excited to see where we go from here.

Star Wars #75:  Pak wraps up this arc -- and series -- nicely, as he reminds us that Chewie and Threepio -- often the team's most overlooked members -- are the heart of this operation.

We pick up right where Pack lefts us last issue as Chewie manages to throw Vader into a lava-filled ravine.  However, Vader parts the lava and throws some at Chewie, scorching his fur.  Luke saves Chewie by using his powers to turn a single tumbling rock into an avalanche heading at Vader.  Chewie returns the favor when Luke miscalculates and sends himself and said avalanche right at Vader.  (Chewie leaping from rock to rock while carrying Luke and under fire from Stormtroopers reminds us just how committed Chewie is to his friends.)  Dar, Han, and Leia arrive just in time to save the pair (by landing on top of the Stormtroopers), and Luke informs them that the emp blast has left Vader wounded.  When everyone gets their blasters ready to take advantage of this rare opportunity to take out Vader, Dar hilariously asks Leia if all her friends are just like her.  When she flirts with him by saying that he should know because they're just like him, he joins the charge, saying that it'll be an honor to die among fellow champions.  Awww.  (Han is obviously less than amused.)

But, Vader is Vader, hurt or not.  He fends off the team long enough to set the stage for an unthinkable scene, as Stormtroopers arrive to help his injured self to his ship.  (He waves them off him, of course.)  When he arrives on the ship and an office tries to depart to save them, Vader uses the Force to strangle him.  As he uses the ship's power to reverse the emp blast, he tells the officer that "those with power do not run."  The renewed power brings Artoo and Threepio online again, but it also means the detonators are online as well.

Here, Threepio has his turn to shine.  Threepio is panicked over the impending implosion, and Leia exhorts the Kakrans to pile into the Falcon and Dar's shuttle to escape.  They refuse, instead taking Threepio with him.  K-43 begins to disintegrate, leaving Dar and Leia on one side of a ravine and the rest of the team on the other side.  (Han observes that Dar "always manages to end up right next to her," and Chewie playfully asks why Han would care.)  Threepio assures Chewie that he's safe with the Kakrans, and the Falcon and the shuttle depart.  Luke stays on K-43 and heads to his X-Wing to save Artoo, much to the Kakrans' shock.  Before the moon detonates, Luke arrives at his disabled X-Wing to depart with Artoo.  Once again, Artoo saves Luke by blasting off K-43 before Vader -- who was laying in wait, knowing that Luke would return for Artoo -- could grab him.

As K-43 explodes, the Kakrans reveal that they weren't worried about the detonators because the "moon" is really just a cocoon for their sleeping grandmother; she awakens, breaking apart the cocoon.  They tell Threepio that they helped him not for fear of their safety (they knew the detonators would only awaken their grandmother), but because of his concern for his friends and his friends' concern for him.  It's a wonderful moment.  The Elder tells Threepio that he hopes that the "flesh" remembers Threepio's heart that day.  As Threepio begins to tell him that he's an android so he doesn't have a heart, Chewie arrives in a spacesuit to collect him.  The issue ends with Threepio exulting in reuniting with his friends (and telling Chewie to stop hugging him lest he get fur in his gears).  An android with a heart indeed.

This entire series was spectacular, from start to finish.  It felt like such an honor to spend time with these characters in this way, with each arc feeling like an additional movie worth of emotions and experiences.  I love the fact that the next series will follow "Empire Strikes Back," and I can't wait to join the gang again for more adventures.

Also Read:  Guardians of the Galaxy #11