Wednesday, May 3, 2023

Four-Month-Old Comics: The January 4 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Astronaut Down #5:  We get a pretty anticlimactic ending to the series here, as Douglas does the right thing and sends the transmission to his Earth.  Before he does, he knocks up Maddie, explaining that he caught glimpses of other realities during this travels and in most of them he saw their daughter.  In the transmission, he includes a message about learning how to bridge our divides and forgive each other, which felt more saccharine than we've seen Douglas be.  To that point, we aren't really given a solid reason for Douglas' change of heart, other than maybe feeling like it was OK to die so long as he procreated?  It's unclear.  All in all, it was an interesting series, though more notable for its concept than its execution.

Batman #131:  Zdarsky shows no sign of slowing down here.  In fact, this arc seems poised to exceed his first one in excellence if this issue is any indication.

Bruce awakens in the alley that we saw at the end of last issue.  A couple of punks have stolen his equipment and, notably, don't recognize him; one of them comments that Bruce looks like a "Venomed-up freak."  Bruce realizes that he's in Crime Alley, but something about it feels different.  His proof comes in the form of a skeletal Jim Gordon with the personality of the Joker.  He calls himself "Jimbo" and tells Bruce that they fight crime together!  "Biff!  Bam!  Pow!"

Bruce realizes that he's on a different Earth, one where his brownstone lays abandoned and someone else owns Wayne Tower.  Zdarksy underscores the seriousness of the situation when Bruce says this "Gotham feels...more foreboding.  Darker."  If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will.  

As Bruce quips, it's still Gotham, though, and he follows a scream to an apartment where a Judge Dredd-like "Judge Dent" is terrorizing the residents, asking if they're sane or insane.  Bruce recognizes that it's Harvey and that Harvey and his goons are on Venom.  When Firely (ever the idiot, as Bruce mentions) sets the building on fire in an attempt to get Bruce, Bruce helps a woman escape but Dent nabs him before he can follow her to safety.  Zdarskey does a great job of showing how Bruce is struggling here.  He still hasn't recovered from Failsafe, and a Venomized Dent beats him to a pulp.  He survives only when a street kid saves him via two knives she throws into Dent's face.  

At the girl's dilapidated apartment, she tells Bruce that her name is Julia but everyone calls her Jewel.  Zdarsky shifts pace here as we segue from action to characterization.  Bruce asks where Jewel's parents are and she doesn't respond, leaving the room to get more alcohol for Bruce's wounds.  Bruce realizes that she has the same look of an orphan that he and his raven-haired boys do.  Bruce realizes that he and Batman are dead in this reality, which is why Failsafe sent him here:  his version of compassion was giving Bruce another Gotham to save.

Meanwhile, Selina is running her own operation but responds to a call from the Red Mask, who sends a carrier raven with a photo of Bruce and tells her to bring Bruce to him alive.  I'm not sure who Red Mask is, but, given the torture victims behind him and his Klan-like costume, I don't think he's a nice guy.

In the back-up story, we learn that Tim recognized the gun that Failsafe used on Bruce.    Jon Kent apparently took it from Toyman after Toyman killed himself (I thought Grifter killed him?) and stored it - and all other supervillain weapons he found - in the Fortress of Solitude while his father was in space.  We know that Toyman is alive given the introduction so clearly we're going on a Toyman hunt.

Later, Tim helps Dick take down one of Joker's goons calling himself Cutup.  Dick and Tim discuss how all the low-level goons are making a play based on the rumor that Batman is dead.  (As Tim says, the Banes and the Riddlers know not to believe it.)  Dick suggests Tim let Batman save himself while they save Gotham, which Tim isn't buying.  You'd think Dick would remember how Tim found Bruce the last time he died?  Then again Dick is the pretty one so...  

At any rate, Jon calls Tim from the Fortress and suggests that Toyman may have left some clues when it comes to the gun.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Again, this issue is great, and I'm so fucking happy we're finally getting the type of stories that Batman deserves.

Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty #8:  This issue is dense.

Steve goes into a gas station and calls Aaron Fischer, the Captain America of the Railways, telling him to activate the Captains Network.  It took some Googling to discover that Aaron is one of the heroes introduced in "United States of Captain America." Aaron manages to collect everyone but Black Widow, who Roger says has gone dark, and Hawkeye, who is apparently still in New York.  

Honestly, this entire sequence doesn't make much sense.  Does Aaron have some sort of magical railcar?  Peggy complains about having to ride outside the car, which Nick says made sense since A.I.M. is likely looking for them.  But doesn't it make more sense to ride inside the car where they can't see them?  Also, I don't get why Aaron had to assemble everyone.  Couldn't Steve just have called them all and told them to meet him in Kansas?  To that end, we've not told where the rest of them were during these five days.

At any rate, Steve mentally calls Emma with the code she gave him:  hilariously, it's "Mommy."  Although Peggy refuses to submit to Emma, the rest of the group does and realizes that the Outer Circle used a M.O.D.O.C. (Mental Organism Designed Only for Control) to disappear them for the five days they needed to take over Lower Manhattan.  M.O.D.O.C. also apparently saw into their secrets, which could get interesting down the line.  

Again, though, this sequence has issues.  First, we're not told A.I.M. was somehow able to take down Cap, Peggy Carter, Sharon Carter, Nick Fury, and Redacted.  Sharon discovers a subdermal scar next to her ear, which implies they were attacked and A.I.M. inserted an implant M.O.D.O.C. to use.  But how did A.I.M. manage to take down this group, particularly since Black Widow and Hawkeye were also with them at the time.  Also, why not just kill them?  Also, did A.I.M. really need to take over Lower Manhattan just to get the neganite?  It seems like a lot of effort.

In other words, the authors tried to tell a larger story than this issue could contain.  Honestly, the best part of the issue is when Steve's art-class friends try to find him and run into Amari.  They've all got great chemistry together, and I'd love to see them fight A.I.M. from the inside now that they're captured.

Star Wars #30:  This issue is reminiscent of Gillen's initial run on "Star Wars (2015)," as I can hear the characters speaking in the actors' voices for the first time in a long while.  Amilyn, Lando, and Luke particularly jump off the page.  

The team finds itself in a serious pickle:  they learn that the Kezarat convoy has turned into the Kezarat colony because no one has found a way to escape No-Space in two centuries.  Uh-oh.

At this stage, my only complaint is that the story's flow remains clunky.  I think it's due to the extensive script, which I appreciate narratively but seems better suited to a movie or TV show.  I found myself almost tired of flipping pages at the issue's end, which isn't a good place to find oneself.

Hopefully now that Soule has set up the story it'll move more quickly.

X-Men Red #10:  Oof.  Like other issues this week, this issue has way too many stories happening at once, making it difficult to follow.  Moreover, Ewing leans a little too heavily into the Arakkii way of speaking in riddles, slowing down the pace even further.  If you strip out the verbiage, this issue's overarching theme is that the Arakkii are finally starting to learn how to cooperate.  

Khora uses her powers to amplify Cable's so that he can use his telekinesis to absorb the techo-organic virus Orbis Stellaris has sitting in the lab.  He creates a pretty fucking cool set of armor with it and becomes the Progenitors' focus.  As such, they take their attention off Manifold who works with Lactuca to teleport the Progenitors "all the way outside," which he hypothesizes is where they originated in the first place.

Meanwhile, Lodus Logos, Sobunar, and Wrongslide help Storm defeat Vulcan, encasing him in a mysterium suit until they can figure out his future.

Brand realizes that Roberto paid off Mentallo to relay Xandra's telepathic manipulation of Brand so Brand wouldn't realize Xandra was hiding Storm at the Autumn Palace. (I'm still not sure about this part.  Per my question last issue, I think now that Xandra also manipulated Vulcan to go there so that Storm could finish him, but Ewing doesn't make that clear.)

Roberto, Xandra, and company arrive to confront Brand, but she uses Cable's bodyslide technology to escape.  That said, she arrives at her safehouse to discover the Fisher King waiting for her.  I'm still not sure what the Fisher King's powers are, so I'm not sure what kind of threat he is to Brand.  But he uses her true name (Abigail Thanriaguiaxus, or "Born-as-Axus-Ended") and knew her safehouse's location, so it probably isn't good for her that he calls her an enemy of Arakko.

Underlining my point about how we have too much going on here, the issue ends with the revelation that Orbis Stellaris is somehow Nathan Essex, something Cable also knows after he asked Weaponless Zen (whose power is to draw the truth) to draw his identity.

I'm hoping Ewing uses the end of this arc to focus a little more next issue, because I can't keep all these plots straight much longer.

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Five-Month-Old Comics: The December 28 Edition - Part 2 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Miracleman by Gaiman and Buckingham:  The Silver Age #3:  This issue's sub-title should be, "Let's Talk about Sex, Baby."  I mean, no one actually talks about sex.  But the issue is all about Young Miracelman  finding himself surrounded by breasts and dicks.

In his flight from Miracleman, Dickie for some reasons loses consciousness and reverts to his messenger outfit, crash-landing on Mt. Kanchenjunga in the Himalayas.  A hiker named Jason finds him.  Jason is a suspicious character mostly for his lack of curiosity over finding a besuited teenager in the snow in the Himalayas.  He just assumes Dickie set out poorly prepared like he did as a kid.  Conveniently, he has an extra thermal suit he lends Dicky.

Jason is apparently going to see Tom Caxton, a.k.a. Mister Master.  We learn that Caxton was the first enhanced human Miracelman created but he eventually retired to Mt. Kanchenjunga.  Jason tells Dicky that he was close to the top of the enhancement list but pulled his name from consideration, which is why he wants to talk to Caxton.  Just as Jason complains about losing time (presumably due to helping Dicky), two enhanced humans on a flying motorcycle appear and offer to bring them to the lodge up the mountain.  The woman introduces herself as Meta-Maid and the man as Deadlock the Demolisher.  Dicky sits behind Meta-Maid on the bike, and she not subtly at all places his hands on her breasts.

That night, Jason (wearing a Kimota! t-shirt) reads from Caxton's book, which is essentially a screed against enhancement.  Meta-Maid invites Dicky to sleep with her, but he declines, as does Jason.  For the second time in the issue, Johnny Bates approaches Dicky in his sleep.  Dickie awakens from the nightmare to find a buff and naked Jason crouched at the foot of his bed asking if he's OK.  Something about Jason's nudity implies Jason's interest in Dicky might not be platonic.  (In Buckingham's original sketches including in the issue's back matter, we see Jason from behind, his naked ass prominent, which means Dicky is looking straight at his junk.)

The next morning, Jason and Dicky depart for Caxton's abode, and Jason tells an odd story about how he once met Miracleman as a kid because he was chosen to have a conversation with him.  It was staged as a play and later a movie, and Jason confesses that he doesn't remember what Miracleman actually said to Jason.  Shortly thereafter, Meta-Maid appears, having dumped Deadlock (who admittedly seemed dull).  They all arrive at Caxton's together.  

That night, Meta-Maid tells the story about how her boyfriend left her for Kay after the Young Miracelman parade.  (She implies her boyfriend will change into something after sex with Kay, which is interesting.)  Deadlock offered her a ride to see the Himalayas, which is how we came to meet them.

For his part, Caxton tells the story of becoming the first enhanced human, a chance he won in a lottery.  Interestingly, he says Miracleman originally thought everyone would become enhanced, so something clearly happened to disrupt those plans.  Jason asks why Caxton decided to give up his enhancements, and Caxton says that he forgot what it was like to be a human.  He eventually climbs Olympus and asks Miracelman to turn him into a human again.  Miracleman asks Caxton if the project failed, and Caxton replies that he didn't think it did:  he just came through it.  Now, he's simply Tom Caxton again.  

Jason tells Caxton that he'd answered most of his questions.  When it's time for bed, Caxton has Jason come with him to get the sleeping bags and asks Jason if he's looking after Dicky.  Jason says he is, and Caxton tells him to take care of him because he needs it.  I wonder if Caxton knows Dicky is Young Miracelman?

Later that night, Johnny appears to Dicky again, but Dicky banishes him.

As I said at the top, this issue reads as hypersexualized, a vibe that Gaiman and Buckingham use to highlight Dicky's profound innocence in this new world.  Jason's rugged handsomeness and humanity stand in contrast to Miracelman's perfection and visual blandness.  In fact, Jason's attractiveness also stands in contrast to Meta-Maid's sexuality.  If Dicky realizes Jason might want to fuck him, it would likely scare him less than if Meta-Maid wanted to fuck him.  

It all just seems like it's going to be too much for Dicky.

Star Wars:  Han Solo and Chewbacca #8:  I don't know how he does it, but Guggenheim writes Phaedra in a way that makes me totally believe in her ability to smuggle Han and Chewie into Grand Moff Tarkin's office to steal the urn.   

The issue stars with the trio shaking down Greedo in Mos Eisley.  He tells them that Khel and her crew, Han's "dad" (i.e., Corbus Tyra), and he all went their separate ways after the last job.  When Han asks about the urn, Greedo confirms that the Imperials picked up the urn when they scanned the Falcon and that it's in Tarkin's office on Coruscant.

Han reasonably assumes that it's unreachable, but Phaedra has a plan.  Said pain relies on a mysterious person (or persons) owing Phaedra not one, but two, favors.  Favor #1 involves said person (or persons) getting the trio hired as "waste-disposal personnel" because the Empire apparently doesn't do background checks on the people who keep the sewers working.  Favor #2 involves said person (or persons) getting Phaedra the "full schematics for the sewer network and the Grand Moff's building."  They're definitely convenient favors.  But something about Phaedra makes you believe that said person (or persons) really does owe her these favors.

Of course, it isn't all smooth sailing for the trio, and I don't just mean Chewie falling off the roof of the train that serves as their get-away car.   As they're going to work on Coruscant, Marshal Vancto tracks down Tyra who offers him Han's location (since he knows Han would go after the urn) in exchange for his freedom.  Honestly, I almost think Corbus is Han's dad...

Also Read:  Moon Knight #18; X-Terminators #4; Star Wars:  Yoda #2

Monday, May 1, 2023

Five-Month-Old Comics: The December 28 Edition - Part 1 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #16:  The tone of these "Dark Web" issues remains weird.  We went from oddly jokey last issue to bro-y aggro in this one.  Peter isn't even remotely sympathetic when it comes to Ben's situation and simply throws hands.  It's weird because Peter is the most empathetic characters in comics; you'd think he'd understand that Ben doesn't have a moral code because he needs Peter's memories to have one.

Putting aside the tone, the plot is also weird.  Madelyne's "secret mission" is to send Venom into the Treehouse to recover her "soul."  I'm assuming she means her Cerebro back-up, but they're stored in Krakoa and not New York.  If it isn't her back-up, I have no idea what she's doing.  

Also, I still don't get Hallows' Eve.  She uses a mask to become Frankenstein's Monster, seemingly to accompany Eddie into the Treehouse to take on the X-Men.  But once Eddie enters she takes off the mask and apparently plans on entering stealthily while Eddie attacks.  Why change into Frankenstein's Monster then?

Moreover, I thought Ben was using the orb he displays here to steal Peter's memories, somehow channeling the Tree of Exquisite Liberation (which we saw in issue #14).  Instead he sends Peter to Limbo, where he also has JJJ, Jr. and Robbie Robertson.  Doesn't that get him farther from his goal of stealing Peter's memories?  He seems more focused on the demonic attack of New York, and I still don't get how that furthers either Ben's or Madelyne's goals.

In other words, I'm just at a loss here.

Dark Web:  X-Men #2:  I haven't liked a damn thing about "Dark Web," but Jean Grey smacking Madelyne Pryor and telling her, "If you want to go, let's go" is 30+ years coming and I'm here for it.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #8:  This issue is just awful.  

Throughout the issue, we get a series of statements that either contradict previous statements or just don't make sense.  To wit:
  • Nomad uses a "Theseus and the minotaur" metaphor to describe why he and the refugees are safe from the oncoming tanks as they walk through the village's ruins.  Sam says soldiers may get lost in ruins but tanks don't.  Does he mean the tanks will somehow run over the ruins?  It isn't clear.
  • A small child is leading Nomad and the refugees to a safe house, whose location apparently only he knows.  We're never told why he, and not a single adult, alone knows where it is.
  • It turns out the shelter has a hidden button you press to enter, like it's the Batcave. 
  • Sam notes the tanks are getting closer, and Ian quips that he "was hoping maybe they had other rides to drop off."  Is that a joke?  If not, I have no idea what he means.
  •  As Sam and Nomad discuss the situation with the resistance leaders, Nightshade appears.  She apparently emigrated to Wakanda as part of the Wakanda Forever movement.  She claims many émigrés had "no way back" to America and found themselves stuck in Mohannda.  I find it hard to believe that the Wakandans not only revoked the émigrés' citizenship but then dumped them into an apartheid state?  Who's running Wakanda's PR team?
  • Nightshade says she isn't a villain anymore, which I guess is true-ish, but she then claims, "I'm not someone with a past," which is very not true-ish.  
  • Nightshade then tells us that she didn't just go to Mohannda because she had "no way back" to America, but because she believed in the deceased prime minister's cause.  Pick a reason!
I  went to the trouble of listing these inconsistencies and oddities to show that I'm not just exaggerating.  The issue reads like a bad AI wrote it.  It also comes nowhere close to explaining what Sam is planning to do about the White Wolf, particularly now that he knows the White Wolf was the one behind the prime minister's assassination, ostensibly the reason why he's there.

I've said it before, but Sam doesn't deserve this series.