Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The February 21 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Cobra Commander #2:  Ho boy, Williamson isn't fucking around here.

In the shack that we saw at the end of last issue, Dreadnoks Buzzer and Ripper threaten two guys they have tied to chairs, telling them that they'll give them a ride home if they dime out the buyer who had them traffic arms through Dreadnok territory.  When one of the men engages in bravado, Buzzer saws his head in half with a chainsaw.  (Yup.)  Not surprisingly, the other man squeals, telling the pair that they never learned the buyer's name, that he was just some "big dude with a flattop."  Buzzer tells the guy that they'll go meet their buyer, and they keep their end of the bargain when Ripper chains up the remaining man and then ties him to the back of their enormous vehicle, the "Thunder Machine."  It's...graphic.

Nearby, CC is with his escort, whom he calls Protector; in a flashback, Protector willingly submits to Pythona using a squid to change him, presumably so he can live on the surface to engage in his escort duties.  CC tries to ditch Protector to follow the "energy signature," and Protector exposits that Golobulus sent him to watch CC to ensure he doesn't get "distracted" in his quest for the Energon.  (Aha.)   As they squabble, a park ranger tells them that they don't have the necessary ID to be in this area, and CC sends Protector to kill him.  Williamson gives us another graphic sequence here as Protector shrugs off the ranger's shot and rips his arms from his body as he headbutts him, obliterating his head.

CC uses the moment to escape and finds the shack, where we can now see that various body parts are hanging from the ceiling.  CC realizes that the Dreadnoks are experimenting with Energon, but the source of it isn't in the shack.  The pair return, and CC demands the Energon from them, claiming that it belongs to him.  When they threaten him, he opens fire; when they joke they can handle him, he blows up the Thunder Machine.  CC runs into the woods with Buzzer and Ripper in hot pursuit, until Zarana arrives on her motorcycle and reminds them that they can't go into that part of the swamp.

Alone, CC finds the "power of transformation" in a pool.  Excited to harvest it and return to Cobra-La to take on the leadership role he so desires, CC is suddenly pulled under water by some pretty serious looking (and possibly Energon-ified) gators.

Beyond the graphic violence, which truthfully fits this series' theme, the most notable part about this issue is that CC really seems committed to Cobra-La.  Even in his conversation with himself, he's focused on providing his worth to Golobulus.  I wonder how that's going to end.

G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero #304:  Everyone is sizing up one another here.  After several "recce" missions, all three sides have a pretty good idea what the other side is planning.

Scarlett exposits that she and Snake-Eyes used tomato sauce from a meatball MRE as blood to fool Revanche into thinking they were dead.  (They developed that plan real fast if they managed to cover themselves with the sauce while the smoke literally cleared...)  Meanwhile, Airtight, Black Hat, and Mainframe arrive to pick up the modified Blue Ninjas' remains, and we (or, at least, I) learn that they're all androids.  

In Springfield, Dawn puts on her ninja gear and engages in recon for the Joes.  She wonders why Cobra is setting up heavy armor (by which I think she means artillery, since the image involves tanks not actual armor) since it would normally be on the tarmac if they were going to deploy it (presumably via cargo aircraft).  Dawn realizes that it's a defensive set-up and then overhears three enhanced mutant Vipers from Cobra Island as they plan to head to the community center to set up surveillance (and, apparently, eat some Vipers along the way).  

Dawn calls into the Pit, and Lady Jane puts two and two (the Sierras attack and Dawn's information) together and realizes why Revanche went to Cobra Island.  (I thought they already knew that it was to sell his "upgrade services," if you will, didn't they?)  Meanwhile, the Pit's perimeter alarm sounds, and the enhanced mutant Viper, Techno-Viper, and Toxo-Viper from last issue appear on the Joes' screens.  The Vipers scout out the three barracks on the grounds and report to Cobra Island that the beds are made even if the huts don't show signs of occupation.

On Cobra Island, Revanche and Dr. Mindbender prepare to turn the facility into a production line to create more enhanced Blue Ninjas and mutants as well as more mutant virus bombs and aerosolized virus devices.  The infiltration team in Springfield then contacts Cobra Island and broadcasts CC's speech at the community center where he's speaking to the Cobra faithful.  He informs the crowd that, rather than protecting Springfield, they're going to lure Revanche and Serpentor Khan's forces into a designated killing ground.  Only the upper echelon of Cobra's leadership will get the plans, of which only a third will be correct — only when the first shots are fired will CC reveal what the real plans are.  Mindbender orders one of the Vipers to capture three leaders once the attack starts so they can identify the plan.  (I don't get that, since how would they know who has which plan.  What happens if they capture three leaders with Plan C, but Plan A is the real plan?) 

On the chopper, Airtight, Black Hat, and Mainframe are discussing the task the latter has in front of him, namely reverse-engineering the Blue Ninjas, when suddenly the Ninjas all reactivate.  A fight ensures, and the Joes manage to subdue them (after Black Hat goes out the door with one of them to save Airtight, only for Airtight to save her).  We learn Wild Bill is flying the chopper when he appears and puts down the last Ninja.

In Springfield, the mutants discover and attack Dawn, who, they exposit, is Dr. Mindbender's failed attempt to duplicate Snake-Eyes.  (Um, OK.)  Dawn holds her own, and the mutants self-destruct themselves to make sure Revanche's technology doesn't fall into the Joes' hands.

Finally, in Scotland, our fourth contingent of actors enters the chat, as Zartan approaches Destro and the Baronness with news of the current events and an offer to put aside their differences for common benefit.

Star Wars #43:  Soule wraps up the story he started before the "Dark Droids" event, as Luke tries to get to the bottom of the mysterious Sith's pain.  

The Sith rebukes him for the attempt to learn about his pain and instead forced Luke to face the source of his pain:  Vader.  In confronting Vader, Luke echoes something that he previously mentioned to the Sith, that every path goes in two directions.  Here, he tells Vader that all the good that existed in him before his fall still exists, even if it's buried deep beneath the pain.  We then see a glowing outline of Anakin, and Soule makes it clear we're witnessing the moment where Luke decides he doesn't have to kill his father but save him.  

In so doing, Luke not only heals the kyber crystal but discovers his own crystal is now green.  It underscores the idea that Luke is becoming his own man, something that I think Soule is doing better in showing than the movies did.  I've felt like this second "Star Wars" series has dragged for quite a while, not really giving us all that much insight into the characters (unlike the first series).  But Soule really delivers something special here, and it's worth a read for all Luke fans. 

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The February 14 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Kill Your Darlings #6:  We get some answers here but, as usual, they only raise more questions.

In 1977, the Girl Who Wouldn't Burn watches her daughter play with her grandson, Alex.  Later, after murdering her daughter (we see the flesh on the right side of her face is missing), the Girl contemplates Alex's innocence and ponders letting her long life end, a life she clearly prolonged through her children's deaths (as we saw in issue #3).  She alludes that she did it to keep alive a legacy, but, before we can learn more, her dream ends when Rose's mother (whose name is Andrea, according to the intro) kills Alex, as seen last issue.

Shortly after Alex's death, the Girl summons the Great and Terrible Evil (I think) in the woods.  Other than a glimpse of Andrea at the crime scene, the ritual doesn't directly connect Evil to Andrea — in fact, Evil disappears once summoned.  (If you're wondering about the Latin the Girl uses, she tells her servant to ensure the "firstborn" — meaning Rose — suffers and dies.)  The Girl then returns to her house and dies on the porch.

In the present (such as it is), we see the now-abandoned, dilapidated house with the Girl's corpse still on the porch.  She awakens and heads to the video store, and we pick up the scene where we ended last issue.  The Girl is stunned at Evil's presence, and he informs her that he's able to do a lot more thanks to Rose.  The Girl reads Rose's mind and discovers that she's the Firstborn.  The Girl mutters, "And she's..." but then demands Evil take her "to it" before finishing the thought.  Evil agrees and opens a portal to Rosewood, warning her that it isn't as much fun as it was.

In Rosewood, Wallace wants to follow Rose into the portal but Spikes tries to convince him they need to rally forces.  The Girl and Evil arrive, and the Girl marvels at how lifelike the friends Rose manifested are.  The Girl kills Spikes, and Wallace attacks, only for Evil to backhand him.  The Girl stops him from attacking Wallace further, telling Evil that he'll have his blood in time.  Wallace escapes back to the Refuge where he tells them that Spikes is dead (we see his widow grieve).  Meanwhile, Evil drags Rose's body towards a dilapidated Castle Greyskull-style building.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #43:  This issue's impact depends on remembering minutiae of previous issues.  You need to remember who Corleque is (because he apparently survived the assault on the Executor that his former mentor, Admiral Piett, launched when the Scourge invaded in issue #38), why exactly the Emperor thought Governor Tauntaza colluding with Crimson Dawn (in issue #27) would expose Vader, or how the men Vader "saved" the last time he was on this planet were connected to the energy-draining device (in issue #24) that Administrator Moore and Vader seize here.  

I'm sure I'm missing more — I don't even mention Agent Fabarian or Council Member Santo, who Moore "interviews" here — but tracking down all the references is beside the point.  All these characters, save Moore, are only here as NPCs for whatever new scheme Vader has to undermine the Emperor.  If Pak put some effort into making these characters memorable, maybe I'd care, but he doesn't so I don't.  Oof.

Transformers #5:  This issue is fucking awesome.

We begin with Sparky and Optimus recalling their times at war, Sparky in Korea (I think) and Optimus in the present.  Johnson gives us a panel of Sparky in one position and then Optimus in the same position in the next panel, emphasizing their experiences' similarities.

In the present, Optimus asks Sparky, "How long was your war?"  (Of note, the two of them appears to be in some sort of garret that also contains antiquated communications equipment.)  Sparky replies, "Just one tour.  It was enough."  He asks Optimus how long his war was, and Optimus poignantly responds, "Years.  Years and years and years.  I've lost count.  It's still going."  Just as poignantly, Sparky notes how much more experienced Optimus is at war than he is and asks whether he understands why it has to be this way.  A sad Optimus tells him that he asks himself the same question every day.

On the Ark, I didn't notice initially that, when Soundwave alludes to Skywarp's "sacrifice," his (Skywarp's) head and torso are part of the Ark itself.  Soundwave decides to resurrect Ravage first, but Starscream (hilariously) punts Ravage's body and instead resurrects Thundercracker, who quietly asks Skywarp's lifeless head and torso, "What evil Autobot did this to you?"  (It's another moment of the Decepticons - or, at least, the Seekers - treating each other with affection.)  Starscream lies and tells Thundercracker that Skywarp sacrificed himself for the common good.  

Before they can continue, Soundwave announces that Laserbeak reports the Autobots found their source of energy.  Frenzy declares they need to stop them, and Starscream seems surprised to see him and Reflector, as if Teletraan-1 resurrected them without his approval.  Reflector begins to ask Starscream where Megatron is, and Starscream ignores the question, instead telling them all to rally against the Autobots, who they can eliminate for good.  (Johnson really kills it with the image of them all transforming as they leave for the dam.)

At the dam, Ratchet is wowed by Sparky's idea to place a generator right next to the dam, given that it's the water that creates the power (and not the plant at the dam's base that the "Decepti-whatevers" destroyed in issue #2).  Ratchet has resurrected Wheeljack to help Sparky address their power issue, though Wheeljack's lower half is basically like the old Ironhide and Ratchet design, which prompts some complaining on Wheeljack's part.  But he's impressed by Sparky's design and uses Cybertronian knowledge to refine it, enabling the turbine to power the town for at least a decade.

Cliffjumper has the honor of flipping on the switch, and Wheeljack calls for Optimus to get him (Optimus) fixed.  Instead, in another fantastic scene, Optimus carries Arcee's body, telling them they need their warriors.  Ratchet enthusiastically greets Arcee; As she greets him, she sees the Seekers behind him and saves him from Thundercracker's rocket.  (Ratchet comments on Arcee saving his life upon first waking, and she quips, "I see not much has changed.")  Funnily enough, Thundercrack screams, "Justice for Skywarp!!!"

As Optimus and Sparky open fire on the Decepticons, Arcee and Ratchet drag Jazz to the turbine.  Starscream ejects Reflector, who screams, "Prepare yourself for ISO, Autobots!!"  As he's defining it ("Instant Suffering and Oblitera--"), he sees Optimus with Megatron's cannon and whispers, "Oh dear --," right before Optimus destroys him.  An upset Frenzy launches himself at Optimus, who grabs his leg and slams him into the ground.

Carly's found a gun and opens fire at Thundercracker, despite Cliffjumper warning her to be careful.  Cliffjumper strikes the dam and Carly falls, prompting Prime to scream her name.  Arcee then transforms and speeds up the dam to catch Carly in a fucking kick-ass scene, telling Carly that she's important to her if she's important to Optimus.  (I loved the writing on this issue, but Johnson's art is somehow even better.)  Rumble sneaks behind Cliffjumper only for Jazz to take him down before he can pounce.

Then, it's time for Optimus vs. Starscream.  Somewhat oddly, to be honest, Starscream accuses Optimus of using "something so precious" (Megatron's cannon) for his "own evil purpose!"  (It's the second time the Decepticons refer to the Autobots as evil, and I'd love to hear their pitch about why they're the good guys.  I'm also guessing Megatron's cannon isn't "precious" to Starscream because Megatron owned it.)  Optimus asks if Starscream isn't quaking in his jets at seeing a reminder of who he'll never be, and Starscream manages to take out the turbine before Optimus blasts a hole in him.  

The Decepticons retreat, and Optimus realizes that they finally have enough Autobots to take back the Ark.  Before they can leave, Carly demands to go with them, and Sparky refuses, saying she's too precious after what happened to Spike.  Carly then poignantly says, "Then so what?  Spike's in a coma.  My family's gone.  I deserves to see this end, Sparky."  Carly is distraught, until Cliffjumper grabs her, telling her that she's right, she gets to be there when they stop the Decepticons for good.

As they approach the Ark, Sparky sees it for the first time, remembering his son, Jimmy.  Suddenly, Long Haul rams into Optimus, Scavenger cuts off Ratchet's leg, and Scrapper pushes back Arcee and Jazz.  Starscream appears and gloats that he knew Optimus would follow him.  He tells them that Teletraan 1 has already fixed him and introduces his "new toys!":  the Constructicons.  (We seem to be sticking to the Constructicons' original cartoon origin, where the Decepticons created them on Earth.)  At this point, Starscream calls out the famous phrase:  "Constructicons!  Merge into...Devastator!"  

In other works, fuck, yeah, y'all.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The February 14 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #10:  Well, I certainly didn't see that coming!

After establishing Rash as the Blade Runner that Luv failed to be, Johnson does a 180 here as Rash kills Luv to prove to Freysa and company that she really wants to join the Resistance.  Meanwhile, something clearly happened between Ash and Cal in "Blade Runner Origins," as Ash is openly hostile to Cal.  

(I wonder what caused the beef.  Ash notes she didn't leave Blade Running due to her conscience, like he did, and he replies that she left for love.  It confuses me, since the most obvious reason Ash wouldn't like a (former) Blade Runner is because they "retired" Replicants.  But they both concluded that Replicants were people - though they took different paths to get there - so it can't be that.  That said, I'm not going to go read "Blade Runner Origins" #5-#12 to find out what happened.)

When Ash tells Cal that she wants access to Niander Wallace, Jr., Cal warns her that she's playing a dangerous game but agrees to help her because he owes her a favor.  Cal appears to run a criminal empire to fund his work helping people, prompting Ash to ask what his real profession is:  "Businessman?  Social worker?  Or just plan gangster?"  These blurred lines are actually why she approached him, , since she knows he has dealings with Wallace, Jr. and can open the door for her.

Given we know that Wallace, Jr. survives his eventual encounter with Ash, it's starting to feel like Ash is going to die and Rash is going to take her place in the Underground.  But Johnson has led us down false paths before, which is part of the reason these series are so gripping.  Only two issues left!

The Hunger and the Dusk #6:  Willow ends Book I by bringing us through Tara's childhood, as she progresses from a rambunctious child to a young woman who gets her heart broken twice - first by her parents' death and then by Troth - in a short period of time.  As compelling as the script is, Wildgoose and Msassyk really sell the emotions behind the story, infusing Tara's memories with beautiful structures and dreamy colors.  

A particularly moving sequence is when a young Tara meeting a young Faran for the first time.  After Tara awkwardly gets in trouble for asking why Faran's hair is such a light color, Tara invites Faran to come see the dormitories with her.  When she tells Faran that "real elves" built the Silent Shore thousands of years ago, you believe it, given Wildgoose's fanciful details.  Resting on the road north, present-day Tara watches this memory - of scampering up the staircase to the dormitories with Faran - as it plays (in her mind) across the ruins of a staircase near where she's camping.  It underscores Tara's isolation, showing us that she remembers what it was like to belong.  

Underscoring that point, her memories continue, and we watch Troth break off their engagement hours after her parents' death, due to the shame of her mother's failure to anticipate the Vangols' arrival.  Wildgoose and Msassyk are again excellent here, as Tara looks so dejected and depressed as this brutal memory fades to her cold reality.  In addition to this past heartbreak, I can't help but think that Tara is thinking of Cal when she tells her steed that she's been a fool.  The issue ends with Tara shaken from her memories when she accidentally stumbles upon the hidden entrance to the dwarven tidal fort that the Vangols have been using.

Before I go, I'll mention that the last page is a preview for Book II, with Wildgoose giving us a fetching and pondering Cal.  I want to mention that not everyone is so handsome.  Wildgoose shows he doesn't just draw everyone as dreamy, as Tara's two would-be assailants in this issue are certainly not as attractive as Cal or Troth.  Wildgoose saves the looks for our heroes, as it should be.

If You Find This, I'm Already Dead #1:  With a title like that, Kindt set a high bar for himself, but, man, does he clear it here.

Five years ago, the U.S. military discovered a gate to another reality and has been regularly sending teams to a planet they called Terminus ever since.  They've invited (decided to allow?) New York Times reporter Robin Reed to become the first civilian to visit Terminus, and we meet her and the unit accompanying her as they approach the Green Zone.  

The unit's leader, Gil, informs them that a lot of soldiers died to establish the Green Zone, which is two square miles.  (I'd mention the crew, but they all die pretty quickly after Gil's speech.)  He ribs Robin about crapping her pants in fear, though, as they're preparing to land, confesses that he's just hazing her and is fond of her work.  As this conversation happens, we see a missile approaching the ship through its window.  

In the next scene, we witness the aftermath of the missile strike and obvious subsequent attack:  the unit's demolitions expert is holding his viscera, another unit member is on fire, and the unit's "cold-blooded killer" is missing half his face.  It's a dramatic shift in tone that McDaid and Crabtree execute perfectly, which was necessary to underscore the "Fuck, we're stranded," vibe that really sells you on the story.

Robin realizes the hostiles - humanoid figures with, for lack of a better description, two tuning forks for heads - invaded the Green Zone by tunneling underneath its walls, and Gil leads her into the tunnels since the Tuning Forks have the Green Zone's walls covered.  They make their way deeper into a subterranean world full of civilization(s), including direct cultural references that run the gamut from Castle Greyskull to Roman piazzas.

As they make their way through squares, Robin observes the Forks are the masters and a Skrull-like race with yellow-ochre skin are the slaves.  The Forks discover Gil and Robin, and some Skrulls show them an escape route through a covered basement door.  (For helping Gil and Robin, one of the Forks executes one of the Skrulls with the business end of a lightsabers, another cultural reference).

Gil flirts with Robin as they make their way through the sewers and learn more about each other.  Robin tells Gil that she became a reporter to educate people, because war exists due to fear and ignorance.  Gil informs her that he's the solider with the most tours in Terminus because he always dreamed of going to space but washed out of the Air Force.  He calls bullshit on her "fear and ignorance" hypothesis, saying war happens because of "green and envy."  (Team Gil.)  He doesn't say much else, because a Fork cuts open his skull with his lightsaber.  (Again, McDaid and Crabtree depict jump-scare beautifully.)

Kindt now has Robin speak directly to the reader, noting her diary, which forms the basis of the issue's narration, is her attempt to capture all these events, even though she's likely dead if we're reading it.

All in all, it's a great first issue.  Kindt and the art team work really well together in keeping you on your toes, creating the type of story where even main characters can, and do, die.  As I mentioned, they seem to hint that we're in a reality where Earth's intellectual property comes to life.  Maybe?  I guess we'll see.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The February 7 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The One Hand #1:  This issue is interesting and, despite my backlog, I'll hang in there a while.  The best and worst parts about this issue wind up being the same thing, namely that the futuristic setting feels like an afterthought.  

Ari Nassar is a hard-boiled detective who cancels his retirement after a case from his past returns on his last day.  ("You've just eaten the frosting.")  The case involves a killer who uses their victim's blood to create intricate geometric symbols on the wall; Ari notes to his partner, Mac, that they never released photos of the symbols.  Ram V leads you to believe the problem is that Ari hasn't caught the One Hand Killer; in a great twist, though, the problem is that he's caught them...twice.

The killer first emerged 23 years ago.  Ari tells Mac that the killer randomly selected all his 32 victims; the police never established any connection between them.  Mac explains to a cop on the scene that Ari caught the perp for the first time three years and 12 murders into his spree:  a man named Martin Tillman, who later died from injuries sustained in a prison attack.  However, someone started the murders again, and Ari eventually put away Odell Watts.  This time, Ari notices a slightly different symbol at the end of the sequence of symbols.

The futuristic setting — "Neo Novena.  November 5th, 2873." — reveals itself when Ari steps into the street after his mandatory session with a therapist due to his retirement.  Later, Ari has sex and converses with Nemone, an android hooker, at a brothel.  When Nem freezes mid-conversation, Ari finds the madam, whose technician is working on the "unicon."  Ari clearly cares for Nem, and he asks the madam to make sure Nem doesn't get cold (given she froze standing up naked).

The brothel plays a role in Ari finding a clue to the killer's identity as he stops a kid using a discarded android hand to create graffiti.  The kid mentions that the dumpster behind the brothel has all sorts of android body parts, and Ari lets him go.  In looking at the handprint the kid spray-painted on the wall, Ari notices a smudge that makes it look like there's a sixth finger jutting opposite the right-hand thumb.  

Ari rushes back to the crime scene and calls Mac after he realizes that the palm print the killer left has a smudge on the right hand that might also be a sixth finger.  Mac confirms none of the other handprints have that smudge.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Again, the futuristic setting is cool, particularly given the "Blade Runner" feel it gives to the issue.  But it also feels like it's distracting from the pretty gripping mystery Ram V is weaving here.  As I said, I'd normally pass given my backlog, but the issue is sufficiently gripping to keep me hanging in there.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The January 31 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Pathfinder:  Wake the Dead #5:  Oof.  This series hasn't been a great one.  

We end with the revelation that it was Nyctessa who alerted the party members' organizations to the sleeper agents in their midsts.  However, her plan went awry when Gabsalia died, forcing her to emerge from the shadows to direct events.  Quinn hypothesizes that Nyctessa was also his mysterious employer, though I don't understand why she would've needed her own agent, given Quinn didn't really have any information the other party members didn't.

At any rate, Kuo finds himself sent to the dungeon when his patron, Commander Bheldis, arrives given Bheldis forbade Kuo from implementing his "sleeper agent" plan.  If I'm following correctly, Kuo secretly defied Bheldis in the hopes that the information he gathered from the activated agents would help him usurp Bheldis.  That said, I still don't understand why Nyctessa got involved to stop Kuo's scheme.  Did she really care about Geb that much?  It seems...a stretch.

The team escapes Geb when the annual "Visitation" happens, freezing the city and making it easy for warm-blooded citizens (like the team) to escape.  They all decided to throw in their lot together (except Nyctessa, who stays in Geb), which I don't think Van Lente really sells well, since they never seemed to like one another.

It was interesting visiting this corner of Golarion, but I can't say I particularly enjoyed the characters or plot.  I hope we move onto another team for the next mini-series.

The Space Between #4:  I've liked like series, but Beckho really rushes the ending here.  112 years after the Tumult, we follow two pairs of people working toward opposing outcomes:  one pair is trying to stop resettlement on 'Dice, another one to guarantee it.  

Dr. Sky is treating a boy and realizes she's given him her last aspirin.  (The boy's mother initially doesn't want him to take it because it's been genetically modified, and Sky tells her that it'll be better than anything her kids get on 'Dice.)  She calls the requisition folks, but her communicator is on the fritz so she's forced to go downstairs herself.  She speaks to a man named Koa, who's rude to her after she's curt with him.  She demands a new communicator on top of the aspirin, and he tells her that she'll have to wait until someone dies since the Dodona mined its last metal the previous year.  

An announcement interrupts their fight and encourages everyone to go to a window screen to see the first image of 'Dice.  Koa sees Sky in the park and quips that he's surprised she isn't too busy to pause for the view.  Sky confesses to Koa that she doesn't believe they should leave the Dodona, which seems to be a pretty treasonous thing to confess to a guy who doesn't like you (and whom you don't like either).  It turns out Koa agrees, and he's been looking for an "upper" who supports his pro-Dodona view.  Sky says that humanity has always fixed problems, so they can fix the Dodona.  

I admit this argument makes no sense to me.  You've exhausted all your natural resources but somehow you're going to manage to survive while floating endlessly in space?  Sky's reasoning seems to be that humanity will have to start over on 'Dice, as if the resourcefulness that she previously mentioned wouldn't apply there.

Meanwhile, Auld and his colleague Hope, both navigators, explain to the Council that they only have one shot at landing on 'Dice, as they're going to have to burn all their fuel reserves to slow down enough to make orbital insertion possible.  Auld and Hope are outraged when the Council seems inclined not to land, and they later overhear some people fighting in the hallway over it.  Folks on all sides seem to hate the navigators:  one blames them for not doing their jobs in the first place (though they clearly corrected the problem from issue #3 sufficiently so I'm not sure what this person's point really is) and the other for making landing possible (though that's their job so I don't get that argument either).

In a garden, Auld and Hope discuss how to make people want to leave the Dodona.  Since they can't land as planned, they'll need to enter 'Dice's orbit and then send down life rafts to the surface.  Auld suggests poisoning the algae tanks, but Hope objects since it'll kill the animals, too.  (There's a weird blip in the conversation here, where Auld objects to Hope's use of the term "sugarcat" when referring to his pet — seemingly a hybrid of the escaped cats and flying squirrels, named Mabel — but Hope doesn't actually use this term in their conversation.)  Auld realizes that they can just make it look like they poisoned the tanks; by the time the others realize the truth, the Dodona'll be locked in orbit.

Before going that route, Auld and Hope try to convince people the Dodona is dying, but Koa isn't buying it and, in fact, threatens violence if they try to land on 'Dice.  In the end, the Council calls for a vote where more than half the ship's residents vote not to land.  

Auld tells Hope that he'll have to commit suicide to make it convincing that the O2 is poisoned, and the two implements their plan.  The sirens blare, and Sky follows Koa to the purification node.  They find a dead Hope — who joined Auld in committing suicide, possibly due to the feelings she realized she had for him — and a dying Auld.  Koa confirms the algae is fine and Auld and Hope just changed the data to set off the alarms.  Auld then asks Koa to take care of Mabel, which he does, which is weird, because he doesn't really seem that guy.  

Koa contemplates Mabel and tells Sky that he's had a change of heart and is ready to leave "home."  Beckho doesn't make clear why Koa suddenly changed his mind; he just states what was obvious all along, that, as Sky said, humanity can overcome any problems it encounters.  The issue ends with Sky addressing the crowd of residents who arrive on 'Dice via the life rafts, with the Dodona now 'Dice's moon.

In the previous issue, Beckho did a great job of moving us through these large philosophical concepts while still focusing on characterization, but, here, the characters are really just vehicles to advance the plot.  I would've liked to see what she could've done with a few more issues, giving her the space to really develop characters.   At it stands, I can't really say I recommend this series, but it was interesting at least.

ThunderCats #1:  I was going to list this one as an "Also Read."  Shavley does a great job of capturing the characters' voices, to the point where it reads like you're watching the '80s cartoon show.  But it results in an issue that isn't that complex.  Of course, then Slithe shatters the Sword of Omens and Mumm-Ra somehow summons Jaga's spirit, and I was like, OK, game on, Declan.

The Weatherman, Vol. 3 #2:  Oof.  As I mentioned last issue, LeHeup's genius here is that you really, really don't know whose side you want Ian to join.  Every time we get insight into this reality's status quo, it's one more point in Jenner's favor.

The issue begins with Ian arriving at Hera's Hope (Frontier Colony 62A) on Venus.  Fox gets the details right here, portraying Venus in a way that makes it clear why this hostile environment produced Jenner (as we learn later in the issue).  Humanity has yet to finish encasing Venus in orbital solar panels, and Hera's Hope exists in a barren desert landscape, like an overcrowded Mos Eisley.

Ian heads straight for a bar, where he finds Metal Molly, a cyborg member of the Sword of God.  She suggests they take a ride in Ghost, "a digital consciousness [who] projects a holographic memory of his physical self over a set of free-floatin' tactical drones."  An hour later, Ian and Molly arrive at a camp where she introduces a guy "named Wilma with an ex-wife, two loving sons, and a job in molecular advertising."  Wilmo is chained to a chair, and Molly wants Ian to kill him to show he's the same "stone-cold-killer" he was.

In a flashback to a week ago, a scientists walks Nathan through shooting a hog as Zane tells him that humanity is counting on him to infiltrate the Sword.  They tell Nathan that he has to shoot the hog since he'll likely have to shoot a human to prove his bona fides to the Sword.  Nathan does it, to Zane's delight.  On Venus, we see that Ian has killed the guy, blood splattered on his face.

On Burga's transport ship, Dr. Argus informs Cross that Nathan has "dissociative fugue."  Ian didn't need to have Dr. Nyseth wipe his mind because his trauma was so great and his need to escape himself so profound that he created Nathan on his own.  Argus hypothesizes that the training they've given Nathan likely made the Ian personality - previously deeply buried in Nathan's psyche - reemerge.  He believes "Nathan" is likely now Ian and Nathan combined.

Zane informs Cross that the tracker they implanted into Nathan's arm allows them to see all his movements and everything he sees.  Once Nathan sees Jenner, they'll order an orbital missile strike.  Someone notes that Nathan'll likely have a to pass a second loyalty test, namely "Alice's" psychic screening.  Zane hypothesizes that he'll be more likely to pass the test if Ian has reemerged, since he'll also keep the virtual memories they implanted to help him pass the test.  (In vol. 2, issue #6, LeHeup explains that they're using the Pearl's fantasy-murder tech to create a past for Ian.)  Argus worries that a reemerged Ian might not share their cause.

In another flashback, Cross asks Nathan if he's sure he wants to do what they're proposing.  She warns him that it's unlikely that he's going to succeed.  Nathan comments that Jenner'll just finish what he started if Nathan doesn't try.  Plus, he feels like he owes humanity one.  Then, in the best possible distillation of Nathan's personal philosophy, he says:  "Without people we wouldn't have ice cream, karate chops, doin' it, power chords, funky grandmas, 'the Worm'...if going away means more people get to experience that same joy I have...then I'm okay with that."  Cross asks if he's scared, and he says that he is.  But he says that he's getting "used to the fact that everyone else is supposed to be here...and I'm not."  You're a gem, Nathan Bright.

Zane wakes up Cross when Ghost arrives with Ian and Molly at Sword's base, where Ian meet Alice, who is totally bat shit crazy.  Alice confirms that Ian was living as a weatherman on Mars before the M.S.A. sent him undercover, which she acknowledges she almost missed because Mars' memory masks are getting harder to spot.  Alice exposits that Ian remembered everything about his past once he shot "the normie."  At this point, the camera turns, and we learn that Alice is talking to Jenner.  Dun-dun-DUN!  It's like a jump scare.

On her ship, Burga orders the strike, but Cross tries to convince her that she can't.  Zane says Nathan knew what he was doing, but Cross — not incorrectly — notes that Ian didn't.  Zane isn't particularly sympathetic towards Ian, but Cross reminds her that he wasn't a terrorist —he was trying to destroy the "extinction-level weapon" that humanity itself created.  Burga interrupts and says that they have to bring Jenner to justice.  Cross insists that they can't sacrifice Ian for politics, and Burga tells her that she could've found out the information about Ian's past before they sent him undercover but didn't.  She asks why she didn't, and Cross doesn't respond.  Burga again orders the hit, telling Cross that she (Burga) didn't kill Ian — Cross did.  She then relieves Cross of duty.

On Venus, Jenner greats Ian, who immediately threatens to kill him.  Jenner tells Ian that he's counting on him doing so but only after the conclusion of the mission.  Jenner then asks Ian if he hears the "wail of the Venusian wind."  He explains that he grew up listening to it, as he and his mother were poor, surviving on trade and what they could grow in the freezing temperatures.  He describes the unbearable isolation and unceasing wind, which eventually drove his mother insane — she walked into the desert one night to die. 

Jenner then gives us his political manifesto, and he's...not wrong.  He opines that humanity's survival depends on a healthy environment, but humanity destroys it anyway.  As people, we want to be heard but don't listen, we push our pain onto people we don't understand, we would destroy our world before we would see our foes' prosper.  He describes these flaws as "terminal deficiencies."  Ian tells Jenner that he (Jenner) killed his daughter, and Jenner wonders how may daughters Ian has killed.  (Fair point.)  Ian asks what Jenner wants, and he tells Ian that this time he wants Ian to help him save humanity from itself.

On Burga's ship, Cross commanders a smaller ship and makes a run for Venus as the Marshal watches from his ship.  On Venus, Ian uses a rusty mattress spring to pick his cell lock and break free.  He enters Jenner's hut, where Jenner is meditating.  Ian raises a knife and...jams it into his forearm.  

The missile strike destroys the camp, and the M.S.A.'s soldiers later find Ian's tracking device in the rubble, confirming that Ian joined Jenner.

In other words, it's a spectacular issue.  I can't recommend this series enough.  It was totally worth the wait between volumes. 

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The January 31 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Alan Scott:  Green Lantern #4:  Sheridan delivers the Crimson Lantern's origin here, and, honestly, it makes a lot more sense than Alan's at this point.

Johnny, or Vlad, narrates his origin for Alan as Alan lies on the floor after Vlad sucked punched him at the end of last issue.  Vlad was born in 1932 in Bobruisk, Belarus, where his father was stationed.  Vlad leaves home as a young (barely) man to escape his abusive father, who later loses his house in a card game and dies penniless in the streets.  

Vlad grows bored in the Red Army and sleeps with a high-ranking official in the Political Directorate to become a spy.  (Vlad will later try to wrap the tattered remains of his heterosexuality around himself, so it's interesting to see how early into his career he was using it as an excuse to have sex with men.)

Vlad explains his first assignment is ironically his last one, as he's assigned to infiltrate Project Twilight.  He's chosen because his mother taught him English by reading him ancient myths; coincidentally, the "Red Fires of Béringovo Môre" (i.e., the Crimson Flame of Death) fascinated them.  

Vlad is initially concerned that someone is going to realize that he's a spy since he isn't an engineer, but he realizes he's dickmatized Alan so he finds another way (i.e., dick) to stay on the project.  

Once he and Alan contain the Crimson Flame, Vlad thought he was close to victory, as a Soviet submarine was speeding toward the ship.  But Alan's heroism gets in the way when he releases the Flame to save "Johnny."  Of course, the Flame winds up getting Vlad anyway.  After Vlad drowns, the Flame resurrected him, and he notes he saw a brief green flash under the water before the Soviet divers rescued him.  

He spends two years under the knife in the Red Labs, though it becomes clear the Flame only responds to him, dooming the Soviets' plan to create a whole legion of Crimson Soldiers.  Reading about the Green Lantern, the Soviets create a lantern and ring for Vlad, who notes that "these two incredible cosmic forces are bonded," just like he and Alan.

In the present, Vlad continues to monologue, and it's clear he's just finding a reason to talk to Alan.  Like, if he were really a straight guy who simply used Alan to get what he wanted, I don't think he'd be pondering aloud his decision to choose Florida State College as his alleged alma mater since it's a women's college.  (He comments about how it's like he almost wanted Alan to catch him.)

Eventually, Alan catches Vlad off guard and attacks, and "Johnny" tells him his real name before bolting through the wall.  Alan follows him, and we get a hilarious scene where they move through an apartment's walls unnoticed while the family listens to a radio broadcast about the missing Soviet submarine.

Alan depletes his ring's energy mid-flight, and Vlad saves him from falling by encircling him in a bubble.  Vlad explains to Alan that the two Flames contain "all the ancient magic of this universe concentrated and contained within the heart of the star."  (Sure.)  It allows for "flight, strength, even energy constructs," and it's interesting Alan didn't know about the constructs.  That said, Alan does understand that the ring allows him and Vlad to move through solid walls by moving them to a time when the wall doesn't exist, meaning they're capable of some form of time travel.  Vlad ponders whether Alan hasn't realized his potential because the Flames' powers are based on emotions and he always suppresses his.  (Um, OK, pot.)

Alan approaches Vlad through the bubble and asks why he killed the men.  Vlad says he didn't want to kill anyone, and Alan asks if he was jealous.  Vlad rages at him, saying he has a wife now, and cuts off Alan as he asks, "Does she know you're a --?"  He doesn't finish the question and instead leans with his back agains the bubble; Vlad does the same, leaving them back to back.  

Alan tells Vlad that he bought the house in Lake George that Vlad loved (and Alan hated), explaining that it had an echo of him there and that he's been picking up pieces of that echo in people (i.e., his "Johnny" doppelgängers) and places.  They have a moment here as Alan puts his hand against the bubble.  Vlad whispers his name before reciprocating...

...and Alan punches him, grabbing the Crimson Lantern and recharging his ring with it, despite Vlad's warning not to do so.

All in all, it's a solid issue.  Given Alan eventually marries a woman (actually, two, I think), Vlad isn't the villain simply because he isn't living a fully realized life.  By including the story about the Political Directorate official "plucking" him from the Army, Sheridan makes it clear that Vlad is as gay (or at least bisexual) as Alan is but struggling with it just the same.

At some point, Sheridan does have to answer this question of why Vlad killed all those guys.  Even if it was "just" jealousy, he clearly seemed to do it to lay a trail for Alan to follow, which raises the question why he didn't just capture or kill Alan in the first place.  In fact, given the submarine story simmering on the back burner, we're still not really clear if Vlad is here on the Soviets' behalf or on his own.

Duke #2:  First things first, the "Energon Universe's" time frame is still unclear to me.  I'm really not sure how "Duke's" time frame fits into the larger "G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero" and "Transformers" time frames.

To wit, this issue ends with Rock 'n Roll and Stalker successfully nabbing Duke and his buddy, Clutch, and bringing them to an abandoned Pit, which we learn the Army decommissioned in the '80s but still uses to hold high-value prisoners.  Given this series began at the same in-universe time as "Transformer" #1 (recalling Duke goes on his bender because he sees Starscream kill his buddy in "Transformers" #1), it seems like "G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero" is at least several months, if not years, in the future (or, I guess, the past), since Duke isn't a drunk and the Pit is the Pit.

At any rate, to start at the start, Duke finds Clutch, who's a friend from before he joined the Army — Clutch used to build cars that Duke would crash (presumably in derby races).  He has a B.S. from MIT and lives in a trailer at the junkyard he runs.  He's a pretty great bro, even if he does forget the name of his girlfriend when he tries to introduce Duke to her.  He does, however, realize the device that Dr. Burkhart gave Duke triangulates where her tech is, and it seems like it's with Destro.  It's at this point where Rock 'n Roll and Stalker appear and manage to get the jump on the boys.

Back at the Pit, it turns out Duke and Clutch are in the cell next to the Baronnes, who proposes an "arrangement."  I'm sure that'll turn out well.

Local Man #7:  Oof, Jack gets it in this issue.

First things first, Jack confirms that whatever drugs the hippies gave him unlocked a new understanding of his powers.  It isn't just that he was able to find solutions when he was high; he realizes that he's always been able to put himself on the right path.  He's explaining this discovery to Brian, who's locked him in jail after overhearing Jack yell at Inga on the phone and mentioning they had sex.  (I imagine Jack's powers are part of the reason he's popular with the ladies.)  But Jack wonders if he wasn't drawn to Inga after taking down Deliverance (I assume the crew selling drugs) because she was behind it all.

At any rate, Jack uses his shoe to knock out Brian, swipe his keys, and escape prison.  He gets his usual Drvr dude and tells him about his situation.  He still doesn't really understand what Inga's doing or why she's doing it, since it involves doing said thing and then building a whole life to cover up the thing she's doing.  When Jack mentions Seascape, the Drvr dude hypothesizes she's a fey, since he and his brother-in-law have been playing a bunch of DnD.  (Ha!)  He explains fey love children, but they go all John Wick when they get hurt.  This statement matches what we saw at the start of the issue, when Seascape grieves when she realizes she killed Michelle, a child.

At this point, Jack's mom calls, and he rushes home to find his dad lying dead in the field, the "Auntie Inga" bag Inga gave him earlier suspiciously close to his body.  At the Future Forum event, Inga reveals Rudy as The Slick 2.0 to some investors.  She then lights a cigarette and sets Rudy on fire!  After panicking, Rudy realizes she's fine, and Inga tells the investors bidding starts at $2 million for this power set.

At the farm, Jack comforts his mother when he sees a tsunami heading to town.  There, Seascape accuses Inga of dumping Michelle's body on her parents' doorstep.  (Two other "whys" here are why Michelle was attracted to Seascape's song and why Inga would leave Michelle's body for her parents to find.)  Jack arrives with the Drvr dude and lets Inga know she killed his dad (another "why" to add to the list).  Inga then asks Jack if he's going to stop her or save Farmington.  

Brian arrives and asks "How do you want to do this, asshole?!"  At first I thought he meant fighting over Inga, but then I realized Brian is Brian and he meant how they were going to save the town.  Jack tells Brian to get his kids and head to high ground and then turns to Slick 2.0 and tells her to start helping people.  Inga tells Brian she'll come with him, and he tells her not to touch him.  Good for you, dude.

Downtown, Drvr guy (quickly becoming my favorite character) is elated because he has Jack throwing horseshoes at Seascape since "'cold iron' is plus five against fey."  Ha!  Jack sends Drvr guy to help folks and then apologizes to Seascape, who stops when she recognizes him. 

 The issue seems to end with Inga leaving Wisconsin, though I don't know if that means that she's going to get the blame for everything that happened in Farmington.  Suddenly, though, at the news station reporting on the tsunami, they play video that Brian sent them showing Jack killing Camo Crusader!  Damn, Brian!

Moon Man #1:  This issue is one of the best debuts I've read in a long time.  Kid Cudi and Higgins present a fully realized cast of characters in just one issue, the type of cast that makes me feel justified every time I find myself criticizing a book for its lack of characterization.  Moreover, it isn't just the protagonists that Kid Cudi and Higgins present so authentically; they make Buckley into a villain with just a few words and a well timed elbow to the ribs.  In other words, they do more here than some authors do over the course of entire series.

The issue starts with Ramon, our protagonist, begging a bunch of scientists to let him and his colleagues go after they've endured six weeks of testing.  When Ramon and his colleagues eventually leave the facility, the press shout questions at them.  Through their responses, we learn Janus —a corporation whose owner's son is Buckley, one of Ramon's fellow crew members — sent them to the Moon so Buckley could be the first man in 50 years to walk on it.  However, they encountered "cosmic turbulence" and disappeared for seven minutes; Ramon was the pilot who managed to return them to Earth.  When the media start focusing on Ramon, Buckley elbows him into a cameraman to retain the press' attention.  As Ramon is trying to help the cameraman pick up his stuff, he suddenly experiences a colorful hallucination.

Ramon returns to his home in Cleveland where his angsty teenage brother, Micah, lives.  Micah veers from expressing hatred for Janus ("[T]hey've cut competition everywhere because they own everything") to Ramon ("You been gone for years.  Why'd you even come back here?") while telling Ramon he's sorry that he didn't make it to the moon.  (Ah, teenagers.)  

Micah leaves for an anti-Janus rally, and Ramon experiences a strength surge, crushing his phone in his hand due to his frustration with Micah, as well as another hallucination.  After seeing the protests have turned violent, Ramon heads to where they're happening to find Micah.  He wears his spacesuit to hide his identify and, when he sees cops nearing Micah, leaps through the air, surrounded by the same colorful energy that he sees in his hallucinations.  The concussion of his landing knocks away the cops, and he and Micah flee.  

Later, Ramon insists to Micah that he didn't fly — it was more like something shifted.  Micah starts criticizing Ramon for not owning his powers, but Ramon lays into him, telling him that it's easy for him to take the high road since Ramon is the one who's been paying his bills since their parents died.  (At one point, Micah criticized Ramon for leaving NASA, and Ramon commented that Janus — and certainly not NASA — was paying their bills.)

Micah acknowledges that Ramon doesn't owe the world anything, but he has a lot to give and it's fair for him (Micah) to want to see Ramon give it in a way that just doesn't serve Janus.  (Fair, Micah.)  Later, Ramon experiences another hallucination in his front yard and demands from the universe to know what the Hell is happening to him.

All in all, it's a spectacular issue.  Kid Cudi and Higgins create such a totally coherent world in just one issue.  You can imagine a scenario where all five crew members develop powers à la Fantastic Four (but not using them altruistically).  You can also imagine Micah's warning that people are going to come after Ramon once they figure out he was the one under the mask coming true.  

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The January 24 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #9:  I don't have too much to say here.  

Johnson gives us a rare happy ending in this world when Ash learns from a fellow resident that Wojciech died naturally and peacefully.  He tells Ash that Wojciech confided in him about Ash and her mission and suggests the only way to get to Wallace is to bring him what he wants.  

Later that night, Rash visits Ash at a noodle stand, wanting to know more about her.  Of course, Ash expected Rash to follow her so leads her into a trap.  Captured, Rash tells Ash, Freysa, and Isobel that Wallace only knows that Cleo and Isobel were part of some sort of deal that Alexander made with Tyrell in 2019, which, she tells Isobel, is why he wants to "chop you both up now to find out."

Meanwhile, Luv gets in trouble at work for spending too much time on Wallace's cases but, that night, Wallace tells her not to concern herself with the LAPD, as they're only a necessary evil.  He tells her to focus on finding Rash.  

Hoping to find a way to Wallace, Ash visits a S&M club where she finds Cal Moreaux, of "Blade Runner:  Origins."

It's a rare meh issue for Johnson, but it's also clearly setting up the end, so I'm not complaining.  Who knows what he's going to make Ash and company endure in the next three issues.

Dungeons and Dragons:  Saturday Morning Adventures II #1:  I couldn't find this series for electronic download so I bought the TPB, and I'm glad I did.  Drizzt!  Spelljammers!

Booher really turns this series — and, retroactively, the cartoon —into a true Forgotten Realms tale here.  Whereas the Realms was the previous mini-series' setting, they're at the heart of this story here as the kids seek a cure to Dungeon Master's illness, which is slowly draining his powers.  

Their quest begins in Icewind Dale, where they're seeking a healing herb.  Not surprisingly, Drizzt is the guide Dungeon Master sent to meet the party and leads them to the herb.  Sheila arrives in the kids' Spelljammer (!), the Flyin' Maiden, which spooks some local barbarians since the kids have put out the rumor that the Maiden is haunted.  Dungeon Master is on board with Sheila and lets the kids know the herb will just slow, but not cure, his condition.  

Drizzt tells them to head to Luskan to meet his ally, since he's traveled far and wide in the Realms and may know of a cure.  Drizzt agrees to protect Dungeon Master, who'll stay in Icewind Dale with him, so the kids head to the pirates' den of Luskan.  Before they can land, ground-based ships attack the Maiden.  Although Sheila avoids the first round of cannonballs, one eventually takes down the ship.  On the ground, Jarlaxle meets the kids and tells them Drizzt put their lives in danger by sending them to Luskan, since they're at war (with whom I'm not sure).  

Suddenly, the kids realize Bobby is gone.  Sheila thinks he's run away, since she scolded him for mindlessly attacking ice trolls not once, but twice, in Icewind Dale.  But given Venger's commentary at the end, it's clear something else is afoot.

All in all, it's a great story.  Kambadais' art is fantastic, and Booher instills enough humor to keep the story light.  Most importantly, though, it feels like an old school Forgotten Realms novel, a feeling that the most recent "serious" comics — no matter how much I've liked them — haven't evoked.  I highly recommend this series for all Forgotten Realms fans.

Ghost Machine #1:  And away we go!  

After reading all the precursor series, I'm happy to report The Unnamed universe stories in this issue are a great jumping-on point.

If you've read the previous The Unnamed mini-series and one-shot, you understand why all the crime lords of Vegas have put a price on Geiger's head.  This information comes from a Nuclear Knight who tells Geiger that he'll help him find another "living nuclear reactor" who became human if Geiger helps him first.  Geiger rejects the offer, but the man tells him that many people are coming for him, like President Griffin, the Electrician (the first time we've seen that name, I think), and Redcoat.

On cue, we get Redcoat's origin — he was a British soldier shot in the head during the Revolutionary War who somehow survived and became immortal.  (We saw his origin from a different perspective in "Geiger:  80-Page Giant" #1.)  He meets a variety of historical figures throughout his long lifespan, the most interesting of whom is Benedict Arnold, the "only other immortal" still living.

In the epilogue for the Unnamed stories, the Nuclear Knight — who may or may not be Etter from the Redcoat story in "Geiger:  80-Page Giant" #1 who also may or may not be Hazmatt from "Geiger" — scrambles after Geiger.  Our narrator tells us:  "But the Nuclear Knight wasn't gonna let him go.  Geiger was to be his salvation.  'Course maybe it was the other way 'round."

Moving onto the rest of the issue, the Rook story is pretty fun.  I'll admit that it took me reading the title page twice before I understood Exodus' status quo.  Johns and Faibok really sell the dystopia that we see here, where the Better-World Corporation recruited Rook and his fellow farmers (i.e., Wardens) to grow food on its terraformed world (Exodus) in the Kepler system.  Of course, Better-World's engine (?) failed, prompting it to evacuate Exodus' civilian population with the promise of returning for its employees.  Guess what?  It didn't.

Three years later, Rook's efforts to cobble together an escape rocket to leave Exodus is coming into conflict with his nagging desire to fight to save it.  His friend, Swine, has decided to stay on Exodus and hopes Dire Wolf is right that they can form a community.  (We learn in the back matter that Dire Wolf was one of the scientists who created the masks that allow the Wardens to control the animals.)  But Johns makes it clear form the start that the wardens aren't monolithic, as we see another warden kill a doctor who helped Dire Wolf update her helmet.  "The War of the Wardens is at hand."

In terms of the other stories, I'd consider getting the "Rocketfellers" if I didn't have a 500+ issue backlog, but, otherwise, they were fine but not my cup of tea.

Geiger: Ground Zero (2023) #1-#2

Geiger:  Ground Zero (2023) #1:  This issue isn't particularly easy to follow, as it involves a number of flashbacks, but it sets up the pivotal meeting between Dr. Molotov and Geiger.

Six months after the bomb, Dr. Molotov is traveling with "Salt's mob," a group of former Walmart employees led by a man named, well, Salt.  They apparently survived the blast because they were in the store when it happened.  They're hunting down Geiger, because he killed Salt's brother.  

For his part, Molotov is seeking to reunite with his wife.  He was at an energy conference in Nevada where his wife was to join him but the blast waylaid her in Denver.  As a pediatric surgeon, she helped where she could, and they had sporadic contact during that time.  But the U.S. Army took over Denver, so she and her colleagues fled.  (You have to wonder why the Army wasn't like, "A surgeon!  Stay!")  At some point, Molotov encountered Salt, who told him that he'd help him get to Colorado if Molotov helped him kill Geiger.

Along the way, we don't learn much about Molotov.  He claims that he had a role in starting the Unknown War but also notes that he was never affiliated with the Russian government.  If he worked for someone making nuclear weapons, it apparently wasn't the Russians.

In a flashback to a Fourth of July party at Tariq's, the asshole neighbors we saw in "Geiger" #1 are still assholes.  As the neighbors contemplate the fallout shelter Tariq built, we learn that Russia has invaded the Baltics and a paramilitary group named "the Sons of Liberty" is active back East.  The asshole husband, Kyle, asks how long someone could live in Geiger's shelter, and Tariq describes its amenities (if you will), saying his father drilled preparation into him since he (his father) was a survivor.  Kyle asks, "In the old country?" and Tariq quips, "Yeah.  Detroit."  Everyone laughs, other than a furious Kyle.  

That night, Tariq reads a book to his children, and you can tell that he's dying and they all know it, upping the irony (and tragedy) of the fact that he's the one who survives.  Tariq and Tracy's conversation in bed about his chances is interrupted when they learn of the nuclear detonation in Washington, D.C.

After the events of "Geiger" #1, Tariq wandered around the area for days until he ran into Salt's brother at a Junkyard Joe-themed amusement park, which is apparently what prompted him to remember his past.  (Salt's brother panics and opens fire on him, which is how he winds up killing him.)

In this issue's present, Geiger has returned home and is remembering more when Salt and company attack.  Geiger unleashes his energy, killing everyone but Dr. Molotov, who finds him naked at the shelter's door.

Geiger:  Ground Zero (2023) #2:  Holy shit, this issue!

The issue begins with Molotov telling us his life story, about how he was four years old when the Chernobyl accident infected his father, who worked at the plant, and his mother, who went to look for his father.  His father died six years later and his mother nine years later.  As Molotov says, he betrayed his country because he wanted a family again.

Molotov realizes that Tariq also wants to see his family (given he controlled his form at the shelter's door) and searches around Salt's truck to find a boron rod, which he jams in Tariq's shoulder.  Tariq is furious, but Molotov explains that the boron dissipates the radiation that Tariq's cells are collecting.  Molotov notes that Tariq was able to delay his explosion given his emotional connection to his family on the other side of the shelter's door, which means he may be able to control his flares psychologically.

We then get an answer to a question I've had since "Geiger" #1 when Molotov tells Tariq that he cannot open the door for years until the ambient radiation levels have reduced.  (I still think that's weird.  Like, if Tariq's family had survived the initial blast, couldn't he have just opened the door and thrown in some suits?  Like, even seconds would cause cancer?  We've certainly seen some people outside without shielding for moments, though I guess we don't know how bad it'll be for them later.)

Tariq approaches the shelter, but Roy - an asshole follower of Salt's who kept threatening to kill Molotov last issue given he thought the Russians were responsible for the Unknown War - shoots him.  Molotov then kills Roy.  Molotov offers to find a way for Geiger to control his powers if he helps him get to Lena at the Colorado border.  He informs Geiger that the others like Salt and Roy are living alone in the Walmart and won't follow them.  We then see the sequence that we've previously seen, of Molotov creating Geiger vest and rods.

In a truck on the way to Colorado, Geiger explains that he was 40 pounds lighter before the explosion, and Molotov says his cells have clearly repaired themselves.  Geiger asked why Molotov had previously said the war was his fault, and Molotov explains that he worked for an outfit called Scientific Research Institute 1101 that developed a way to amplify a nuclear explosion's impact.  The bomb's fallout is spreading so continuously and far because of his work:  "The particles neutron-activate by standing atoms like an infection."  Geiger absolves Molotov of this guilt (given he didn't launch the bomb), but their conversation is interrupted when a scavenger crashes his truck into their truck.

The dude is enormous and grabs Molotov as Geiger looks for a rod that the crash knocked from his vest.  Molotov overpowers the guy, who's spooked by Geiger's glow, and asks for the keys to his truck.  But Molotov is devastated when he sees the guy is wearing Lena's badge among a number of trophies hanging around his (the scavenger's) neck.  Molotov kills the scavenger and finds Geiger's rod, and they enter Colorado.  They find nothing left at Lena's campsite, so they bury the bodies.  Of note, we learn the "Dr. Molotov" in Geiger's compound outside Boulder City is Lena, not our Dr. Molotov.

Molotov stays with Tariq for a few months.  They try to figure out ways to free his family, though Tariq wonders into what world he'd be freeing them.  They scavenge old lead aprons to create his cloak, which is a detail I don't think we've seen before.  

It goes sour when Geiger murders someone trying to break into the shelter and Molotov tells Geiger that'll he'll be no better than the scavenger they (he) killed if he kills everyone who goes near the shelter.  Not unreasonably, Geiger calls Molotov a hypocrite for all he's done.  It's hard to argue with that — after all, beyond his work making nuclear bombs more deadly, Molotov shot two people in this issue alone — to the point where it almost seems like a plot hole that Johns couldn't resolve.

Molotov leaves, and we discover he's narrating this story from 20 years later, i.e., Geiger's present in "Geiger" #1-#6.  Our only hint to Molotov's status quo is that he prays Geiger never finds him because it would destroy the life he built if the "townspeople" learned his secrets.  (Is he in Melody Hills...?)

Meanwhile, the epilogue is perhaps an even bigger deal.  After the events of "Geiger" #6, Junkyard Joe reboots.  We see him remembering Vietnam and Melody Hills but also a mission with Geiger, the Northerner, and Redcoat in Washington, DC.  Joe awakens fully after some soldiers remove the rod Geiger stuck in him, and we see an unspecified memory of Geiger frantically saying to him, "The Unknown War.  I know who started it."  Joe takes out the soldiers and then decides to find Geiger.

Final Thoughts:  Boy and howdy.  Every issue Johns has put out so far under "The Unnamed" banner has been a banger, channeling the creativity and thought that he put into "Doomsday Clock" but now into a story with a character in whom he's clearly invested.  

These issues really tie together the events of "Geiger," the "Geiger:  80-Page Giant," and "Junkyard Joe," setting the stage for the new "Geiger" series to leap off the page.  Developments in this issue — like Joe regaining consciousness and the Dr. Moltov grave fake-out —make it clear that Johns has really mapped out this story in careful detail, as is his wont.  

I'm so stoked, and I highly recommend the Ghost Machine launch to everyone!