Friday, November 29, 2024

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The March 20 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

If You Find This, I'm Already Dead #2:  I was skeptical of this issue as I read it, as I wasn't particularly buying Kindt's assertion that certain behaviors and stories are universal.  But the revelation at the end of the issue that a human sits at Terminus' makes all that make sense (including the homages to popular culture that I mentioned in my review of issue #1).

Robin has managed to find shelter and identify the food that doesn't make her sick.  Her next step is trying to learn the language, which eventually leads her to a religious text and thus to priests.  She comes to realize Terminus' religion is based on a pantheon of ancient gods who created Terminus as a battleground, "a kind of 'Olympics' where the gods could fight to the death."  It's here where we start seeing the parallels to Earth, with the religion's creation myth mirroring many Earth ones (though, instead of a flood of water, it's blood).

Eventually, Robin realizes that it's a death cult, but it's too late, as the priests throw her into a portal.  It turns out Terminus is a living creature, and she's a blood sacrifice.  As she moves through Terminus' digestive system, Robin gains an awareness and survives since she isn't made of the same organic materials as Terminus' other denizens.

Suddenly, she's kidnapped by the Tuning Forks who fly her to an amazing complex, with a humanoid sculpture atop it.  (Think Mount Rushmore looming over Santorini.)  The Forks bring her to the wheels that the Skrulls walk like hamsters to power Terminus.  Robin reflects on how similar this world is to Earth:  "Can it be that atrocity, exploitation, greed, lust for power...aren't just humanity's traits?  They are universal.  Literally, universally universal."

As a group of Skrulls attack her, a shaman-looking Skrull saves her.  Robin comes to realize the shaman plans on throwing people at the fence that keeps them penned, and Robin tries to convince him not to do so, since it's electrified.  But the Shaman turns out correct:  the fences can't kill everyone, and they get over the wall.  

As they make their way through catacombs filled with gardens and sculptures, Robin realizes that she fulfills some part of the plan, though the shaman doesn't have a word for her role.  Eventually she realizes that word is "human" because she arrives in a sanctum sanctorum to find a grizzled man sitting on a wire-connected throne.

Again, I found myself happy with this outcome, since it explains some of the coincidences that bothered me.  You don't often get that satisfaction in a comic, but I'll take it.

Kill Your Darlings #7:  Oof, Parker and Sheridan aren't fucking around here.

The Witch has captured two Rosewood denizens and tied them to stakes, so you know it's going to turn out well.  She casts a spell ("Change.  To bend at will.  From dream to dream."), and the denizens mutate into her parents.  Their irises are white, though the Witch's mother recognizes "Eleanor."  The Witch tells her that she isn't Eleanor anymore and the woman isn't her mother.  Setting them alight, she says, "But your pain is enough."  Seriously, someone needs therapy.

The Witch tells Evil that this world is malleable, bending at will "with a firm hand."  She expresses shock that a girl created it and informs Evil it's time to discard his "brittle form."  On cue, Elliott awakens in a jail cell, covered in blood.  He's horrified when Rose confirms that he did everything he saw.  Rose tells him that he didn't kill those people, just like she didn't kill her mother.  Elliott tells her that he was - and still is - in agony due to Evil tunneling into his brain.  Before they can escape, the prison door opens and the Witch calls to Rose to come to her.

We learn the Witch believed herself to be the last of her kind after they were hunted to extinction during the Colonial era hysteria.  (It's an interesting proposition, the idea that the hunters were successful...almost.)  The Witch tells Rose she clung to life due to "spite and hatred," but "a heart can only endure so much tragedy."  She then reveals to Rose that her mother took away her final hope, murdering her grandson.  Elliott confirms that it's true based on what he saw in Evil's head.  The Witch then confirms that she cursed her to years of "torment and misery."

Rose is appalled that the Witch and her servant Evil are behind all their suffering, though the Witch says that it isn't Rose's story, it's hers.  (Seriously, get thee to therapy, girl.)  The Witch tells Rose that she would've save her from her life of misery if she would've known she was a witch and exults that they can be free in Rosewood, "this realm of granted desires."  Rose tells her to go fuck herself at the idea that they'd work together, since she's the reason Rose's been a victim since she was eight years old.

The Witch grabs Rose's arm, and suddenly we see the Witch's younger self in the space where Rose used to go when the Witch was in control.  Rose realizes that she has Eleanor trapped in that mental space and knocks her unconscious.  Wallace arrives, and Rose grabs the Witch's spellbook and they bolt.

At the Sanctuary, the denizens are getting onto ships, with Wallace explaining Rosewood is only one kingdom in the "greater Wilderlands."  (Are there other witches who made these lands?)  Rose encounters a crying young tiger cub named Aryll, and Wallace keeps pushing everyone to the boats.  On the boat, Rose sees so many more denizens on the docks, and a devastated Wallace said that they did all they could do.  Rose sees a sad Annabelle, but  suddenly Evil splits the mountain behind the Sanctuary, destroying it.

Devastated at the idea of the denizens dying, Rose holds a terrified Aryll and tells the denizens on the ships that they'll retreat now but they're returning to settle matters.  Meanwhile, the Witch looks desperately for something (I think the spellbook) and begins vomiting purple light.

As I said, the dudes aren't fucking around here.

Star Wars:  Jango Fett #1:  In some ways, this series does a better job telling the sort of bounty hunter story I love than Sacks' "Star Wars:  Bounty Hunter" series did.  We start with an action sequence, segue into a heist, and then end with an action sequence, picking up clients and enemies along the way.

The issue begins in a "secret gambling den" on Oosalon, where Jango tells Fissure Tozan that he's claiming the bounty that the Crymorah Syndicate put on him over a sabacc debt.  Tozan notes that Jango has some big ones on him to enter a den full of assassins to claim that bounty.  Of course, Jango shows us why he's so dangerous as he takes out Tozan's cohort and flies out the skylight with Tozan in tow.  Sacks also reminds us that Jango is an asshole when he unnecessarily throws a thermal detonator, killing everyone in the den, despite the fact most of them were just gambling.

Meanwhile, on Jaloria, a bored Repubic diplomat is making a terrible speech about the Republic supporting the Anselmi and the Nautolans in making peace on Glee Anselm.  As a gesture of support, Chancellor Valorum has the Republic Museum turn over one of its most valuable artifacts, the Hope of Glee Anselm.  It's a wave with two enormous jewels on it, one the Anselmi's Sacred Firestone of King Skrawll, the other the Nautolans' Leviathan Gem.  Of course, masked raiders immediately arrive to steal the Hope.

Later, a broadcast reveals that the Republican guards killed all the thieves save the one who managed to steal the Hope.  The dead thieves' armor all self-destructed upon their death, leaving no clues.  The broadcast says it's another embarrassment for Valorum, who's struggling to broker an agreement between the Trade Federation and Naboo.  (He sure is.)

At Y3-99's Bounty Services on Halmad, Jango turns in Tozan and learns about the bounty the Republic has placed on the Hope.  (They can't use the Jedi, because Kit Fisto is Valorum and the Anselmi don't trust them.)  Whythree-ninenine sheepishly admits he handed out the bounty to several favorites, and we segue to watching a group of brutish brothers celebrating getting the bounty at the Two Blasters Bar on Daiyu.  A fellow bounty hunter takes notice, and they spill his drink to warn him not to interfere.  (Somehow the guy was able to tell the bounty was "lucrative" from its beeping.)  Unsurprisingly, the guy tracks down the brothers after they leave the bar and makes short work of them, announcing himself as Vigor Struk.

Meanwhile, at the Megalox Penitentiary on Megalox Beta in the "Expansion Region," Judicial Huijari bribes the warden to release a prisoner to help the Republic track down a "certain bounty hunter."  The prisoner?  Aurra Sing.

We then return to Halmad where a group of the armored thieves are doing something to Slave 1.  Screaming "For Glee Anselm!", they open fire on Jango.  (I guess they aren't just thieves but patriots.)  Jango shows off several fancy moves, like throwing some sort of disc on a wall and using it to ricochet a shot into a thief's face.  Contemplating Whythree-ninenine's broken body (he got caught in the cross-fire), an annoyed Jango boards Slave I.

Beyond Jango's character in and of himself, the most interesting part about this issue is the obvious mess that is the Republic.  First, we have the totally bored diplomat and the incompetent chancellor as signs of the Republic's rot.  But we also have some sort of secret conspiracy, because why else would one part of the Republic hire Jango only for another part of the Republic to spring a notorious assassin to go after him?  Also I'm not entirely sure why the thieves went after Jango on Halmad unless they're going after all the bounty hunters who took the bounty to find the Hope?  I guess we'll see.

Star Wars:  Visions - Takashi Okazaki #1:  We learn how the Ronin came upon his droid and the droid came upon his hat in this issue; namely, the Ronin slayed the droid's hat-wearing master, and the droid went with him, per a vision the master had. 

Initially, the master found the droid in a river after a battle involving TIE Fighters that happened over the village where the master lived.  In addition to the master fishing the droid's body from the river, we watch the other villagers scavenge the battle's wreckage, a reminder of the marginal existence that regular people in the Republic eke out every day.  The master's fellow villagers later note his improved mood since the droid came into his life, and they all share some laughs.

This fellowship makes it poignant as we watch the village slowly dissolve over time; after ten years it's just the master and his droid.  We never learn what kills the villagers, only that the master asks the droid to ensure he's buried with him, a sign, I guess, that even the Sith need community.  In fact, one of the most poignant moments I've read in a Star Wars comic is when the master and the droid sit silently at the memorial they've established for this friends.

Thursday, November 28, 2024

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The March 20 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #11:  This issue is a rare misstep for Johnson, as Ash takes a total fucking leave of her senses.

Picking up where we left off last issue, Cal gives Ash the name of his contact, telling Ash that the contact sources materials for Niander Wallace, Jr. and warning Ash that the woman is very dangerous.  

Meanwhile, at Wallace, Jr.'s, an LAPD captain informs him of Luv's disappearance and complains that Wallace, Jr. provided them with a faulty product.  (That's some chutzpah.)  At the Underground's headquarters, though, it turns out Luv isn't dead — she's a live and captive, tied to a chair.  Referring to Rash as a thing, Ash tells Freysa that they can't trust her.  Rash offers to help get Ash close to Wallace, Jr., and Ash — not unreasonably — tells Rash that she doesn't trust her enough for that.  Ash suddenly has a spell, and Freysa convinces her to take Rash with her to see Cal's contact.

As they fly to a nice villa, Ash again treats Rash as a thing, calling her a "machine built for murder."  Rash — also not unreasonably — points out the "old man in San Francisco" was trying to kill her.  At the villa, a small Japanese woman named Daisy greets them and offers them tea.   When Ash tells her that they're there for information about Wallace, Jr., Daisy refers to him as "Nandy" and informs them that she was his nursemaid.

When Ash insists on asking questions, Daisy calls in her pleasure model, an enormous dude named Hanii.  (Good for her, though.  "Nandy" obviously hooked her up well.)  Ash tells Daisy to cut the shit and asks what she sources for "Nandy."  Daisy replies that she gets goods you can't buy — "organic," "fresh."  Ash informs Daisy that she (Daisy) is going to set up a meeting with Wallace, Jr. for them at their usual spot; she tells Daisy to tell him that it's urgent and to come alone.  When Daisy reasonably asks why she would do that, Ash tells her that both she and Hanii will be picking up each other's teeth if she doesn't.

I need to stress her how huge Hanii is (and, no, I don't mean huge that way, though he probably is).  I get Ash sees herself as dangerous, but it's hard to believe that Ash —who just had a spell that prompted Rash to come as an escort — would seriously think she could threaten Daisy into setting up a trap for Wallace, Jr., even with Rash with her.  If it were that easy, someone would've offed him ages ago.

At any rate, later, at the Griffin Observatory, Wallace, Jr. is prepared for Ash, who shoves a bound Luv at him.  He informs Ash that he read about her "affliction" in her police file (which he used to build Rash) and devised a cure for it, which is how we end the issue.

Again, my main complaint here is that I don't believe Wallace, Jr. would be so easy to meet.  I get Daisy is in Wallace, Jr.'s inner circle and it's a sign of Cal's connections that he could get Ash to her.  But I don't believe Wallace, Jr. would leave himself so vulnerable, even if he was prepared for Ash (as he is here).  Also the idea that Daisy would set up the meeting but not warn Wallace, Jr. is absurd.

Also, since we're resurrected pet peeves, we get an example of pet peeve #1 here, since Cal is only in this issue for a hot minute despite featuring prominently on the cover.

Cobra Commander #3:  This series remains bloody and fun.

Ripper enters the Dreadnoks' bar with Zarana and shoots one of the patrons to get everyone's attention.  (Heh.)  Zarana reveals an Energon cube, which she calls "The Juice," expositing that they've all seen what it can do, that it's a kind of fuel unlike anything they've ever seen.  In order to sell it to the highest bidder, Zarana reminds the Dreadnoks that they need to make sure no one steals it first.  She informs them that Buzzer and Ripper saw someone sniffing around her brother's "old lab." 

On cue, Zarana's other brother, Zandar, interrupts, arriving with a chained up CC, whom he's dragged from the alligator pit.  Zarana remind her those swamps are off-limits (for reasons she doesn't explain), and Zandar dismisses her outrage, saying that he was trying to find the "good stuff."  Buzzer tries to remove CC's helmet and gets shocked.  Zarana asks who he is, and CC responds, "Your future master."  (Heh.)  Torch tries to use his blowtorch to get off the helmet but it doesn't work.  

Over the course of several panels, we witness the Dreadnoks torturing CC for information.  (At one point, Ripper hilariously uses CC's blood to draw a smiley face on his helmet.)  Later, Zandar tells CC that he isn't like the other idiots — he does his homework — and notes that he's never seen the type of tech that CC is sporting, even on "the darkest parts of the web."  CC tells Zandar that his brother (clearly Zartan) sent him on a secret mission because Zarana called him for help because she doesn't trust Zandar.  Zandar falls for it and storms from the room.  

Ripper then enters and CC tells him that he (somehow) knows that he was a former teacher obsessed with biker gangs.  Ripper apparently threw away his old life and "got lost in the role," which is why he plays extra tough.  Zarana and Torch then arrive, and CC taunts Zarana, asking if she's worried about Zandar because she's worried about losing control.  At this point, Buzzer, Ripper, and Zandar break into the room in a brawl, and CC hits his tracking device, which he earlier disabled.  The Dreadnoks then assemble outside in time for Protector to arrive.  

CC stumbles into Protector's arms and Protector breaks his chains.  Ripper then attacks Protector's face with his chainsaw, but it turns out it really isn't his face.  CC informs Protector that he's found the Energon, which, to Protector's mind, means the Dreadnoks are trying to deny Golobulus his due.  Protector then gets rid of his disguise, emerging from his outer skin with glowing yellow eyes and wings.  We're then treated to three panels of CC's unmoving, smiley face-d helmet as the Dreadnoks scream in agony and pain.

I kind of feel badly for the Dreadnoks, honestly.

Dawnrunner #1:  In terms of the story, the issue feels takes itself too seriously given Ram V is treading familiar ground here.  

First things first, this issue is beautiful, reminiscent of the dearly departed "Nonplayer."  My only complaint about the art is that it's so detailed that it's occasionally hard to tell what's happening, as if the lines in all their multitude get in their own way.

Moving onto the story, Ram sets out the premise well, giving details as we need them and not overwhelming us with information.  Ninety-six years ago, a portal, dubbed el Desgarrón, opened over Guatemala, and a race called the Tetza entered our world.  The Tetza were "an alien species with emergent and varying morphology," the only commonality being their "gargantuan size and the near-impervious nature of their skin."

In response, humanity did two things to survive.  First, in the "largest military effort in human history," we built "the Wall," an 1,800-mile long, 100-foot tall structure that locks the Tetza in a specific geographic enclosure.  Second, nations dissolved, and Earth's resources went to five corporations that build Iron Kings, or IK, the mecha that humanity uses to take out the Tetza.

Our introduction to the IK comes through the eyes of Anita Marr, an IK pilot, as she take control of Dawnrunner, the Cordonware Corporation's next-gen IK.  Given the attention she generates in the media on her run, it's clear the pilots are celebrities.  They're essentially athletes, as we see when a pilot named Xander tries to psyche out Anita by reminding her that he's only two kills behind her.  As she starts her preparations with her escort, Anita wonders how humanity turned something that was previously an existential threat into a sport.

The issue's sense of foreboding comes from a conversation between Cordonware's CEO, Andro Lestern, and a linguist named Murali.  Murali bursts in Lestern's office, furious that he's trying out Dawnrunner on a sole Tetza when they had an agreed Cordonware would only take action if at least three Tetza were present in the enclosure.  Murali complains that he can't study the Tetza if Lestern keeps killing them, but Lestern, not unreasonably, notes that the linguists have spent almost a century studying the Tetza and still can't tell "a Tetza poem from a fart."

Later, it all comes together as Lestern explains to, I believe, the CEOs of the other four corporations that Dawnrunner and Anita will now connect to each other directly; instead of the pilot manipulating the IK's controls, it'll be like they're the same person.  Meanwhile, Anita engages in combat with the Tetza, only unexpectedly finding herself merging with someone else's consciousness.

Ram doesn't clarify when we are, but it seems likely it's the past, when the Tetza first arrived.  Against the backdrop of a devastated city, a fellow soldier rouses Major Ichiro Takeda and informs him the military is preparing to drop "the heavy stuff" on the Tetza.  As Takeda tries to focus, Anita is trying to pull back her consciousness.  Takeda finally gets control of the body and tells the solider that he has to get to the research complex where his wife and kids are.  The soldier tells Takeda it's gone, but Takeda insists on going to find them.  Anita and Takeda seem able to speak to each other, asking each other who the other is.  They both answer, as does Dawnrunner, ominously.

Again, Ram and Cagle are onto something here, so I'm going to hang in there.  But it took at least two reads for me to get what exactly they're presenting to us, which dampens some of the kinetic energy that they're trying to infuse into this issue.

G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero #305:  Hama throws so much at us here that I'm struggling to explain what I just read.  Not helping matters, at several points, the characters know more than they should know based on what we've seen.

In Springfield, CC and his squad examine the remains of the Vipers who detonated themselves while fighting Dawn last issue.  One of the men shows CC the surveillance video of the Vipers making their way onto the community centers's roof, and CC recognizes them as Vipers.  Despite only seeing their shadows in the video, one of CC's men comments that the Vipers were modified with Revanche technology, prompting CC to realize they came at Serpentor Khan's behest.  Hypothesizing that a third party took out the Vipers, CC orders a manhunt for the perpetrator.

At her parents', Dawn provides her report to Duke while Fred 23, the Morenos' neighbor, approaches the front door.   Fred 23 tells Moreno that the community center altercation has all of Dawn's earmarks, which seems a stretch given that the only evidence of the altercation was the three burn spots where the Vipers self-immolated and a surveillance video showing their shadows.  Fred 23 encourages them to turn in Dawn, and the Morenos attack him.  Dawn is shocked, which surprises her father, who tells her that they'd never turn her into the authorities.  They tell her to flee Springfield and that they'll follow her the next day after securing Fred 23.  (Couldn't they just secure him and leave with her?)

At the Pit, Stalker tells Lady Jaye to take Multo to Spirit so they can figure out how they're going to deal with the Vipers poking around upstairs.  Meanwhile, Airtight, Black Hat, and Mainframe are examining the remains of one of the Blue Ninjas who attacked Scarlett and Snake-Eyes, and we learn that they're 95 percent android, retaining only their human brain and spinal column.   One of the hands — despite being disconnected from the body — attacks Black Hat, though Stalker shoots it before it hurts her.

Elsewhere, Spirit informs Lady Jaye and Multo that the Vipers can't figure out the way into the Pit.  Getting permission from Duke to stop them before they find the entrance, the three Joes attack.  However, one of the Vipers manages to pull the pin from a nerve-gas grenade.  Spirit grabs his hands so he can't release the pin, and Lady Jaye kills him by shooting him in the head.  As he mentioned, though, his "hands" are cable and steel, so Lady Jaye can't move his fingers.  Instead, Multo uses his machete to cut off the hand holding the pin, handing it to Spirit.  Ha!  On Cobra Island (I told you this issue just keeps going), Serpentor Khan is apparently happy the three Vipers at the Pit have gone incommunicado, claiming it was all according to plan.

Moving to the Revanche facility in Baton Rouge, Dr. Mindbender notes a "glitch" in their covert plan there.  A Python officer supervises the mutated casino guests getting in line for their transformation when a Blue Ninja tells him that one of the chips that they're planning to install isn't on the original specs.  The Python escorts him to the storeroom, which is a comms dead zone, and attacks him, using his Clayface-like abilities to strangle him.  (He initially stabs him, and the Blue Ninja comments that he missed his power core, which the Python seems to imply he did on purpose.  But then why strangle him?)  Khan exposits that Revanche will eventually realize the Blue Ninja is missing and the subsequent investigation will reveal the chip negates Revanche control but by then it'll be too late.  (But will it be?  Like, this one Blue Ninja is the only one in Revanche that knows that they're going to install an extra chip in the dozens of mutants they've got ready to go?)

Khan and Mindbender turn their attention to Scotland, where we learn the "Zartan" we see with Destro there is a simulacrum.  They're trying to take out Zartan, as we see at the issue's end, to keep the charade going.

It's too much, honestly.  Like, I feel like we needed at least another issue to cover what Hama throws at us here for it all to make sense.

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The March 13 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

ThunderCats #2:  If I didn't have an almost 600-issue backlog, I'd consider hanging in here.  As ridiculous as it is to say about anthropomorphic cats from another planet, though, Shavley's ThunderCats aren't all that believable.  For example, they occasionally speak as if they're characters in Shakespearean fanfic yet other times speak "normally."  It's emblematic of what seems like Shavley's uncertainty about the story he's telling.

In this issue, Shavley takes a page from the 2011 cartoon series and introduces Calica as his version of Pumyra.  Panthro is rightfully suspicious when they stumble upon her and asks questions that could fairly easily verify whether she's truly a Thunderian.  But Lion-O's hormones get in the way; after confronting Panthro, he whisks Calico to a separate room to tell her about Thundera's fate.  Calica is somehow Mumm-Ra's thrall, which Panthro would've likely discovered if not for Lion-O's plot-convenient horniness.

In other words, I'm going to get while the getting is good.  It makes me sad, because I really enjoyed the idea of this series but I don't have time to hang in there.

Transformers #6:  To quote Kathy Griffin, holy fuck balls, you guys.

Johnson hurls us right into the action as the Autobots retreat from Devastator as he blocks their access to the Ark.  Contemplating the terror that is Devastator, Sparky remembers Jimmy telling him, shortly before his shuttle launched into space, that nothing bad was going to happen to him.  

As the Autobots retreat, Cliffjumper arrives with Carly, who thankfully convinces him not to drive directly at Devastator since they're the small ones and instead redirects him to a separate access point in the back of the Ark.  As Starscream revels (throwing devil horns, no less) in Devastator scaring the Autobots, Optimus lands a kick in Starscream's face and clears the way for the Autobots to enter the Ark.  A furious Thundercracker opens fire at them, screaming at them that they'll pay for what they did to Skywarp (heh).  

Optimus shields Sparky from the gunfire, and then Optimus, Sparky, Arcee, Jazz, and a crawling Ratchet enter the Ark.  However, Devastator manages to grab Optimus' leg and yanks him from the Ark.  As Devastator pummels Optimus, Arcee and Jazz open fire on him.  Arcee manages to get hold of Optimus and drag him into the Ark as Jazz continues to fire.  Devastator grabs Ratchet's good leg, and Ratchet has Jazz close the door on it, shutting out Devastator (and his leg).

It's intense, y'all.

Before Devastator destroys the Ark in his pursuit of the Autobots, Soundwave tells him to dig his way into the Ark from the mountain's backside.  Meanwhile, Cliffjumper and Carly enter the Ark only to come face to face with Starscream.  

In a scene familiar to anyone who had their heart broken watching "Transformers:  The Movie" in 1986, Optimus tells the Autobots that he's dying, something Ratchet confirms.  A morose Optimus laments that he thought they still had hope and acknowledges that Jetfire was right.  A devastated Arcee begs him not to die, and Optimus removes the Matrix, which he drops onto the floor.

In a totally unexpected development, Sparky wonders aloud, "If there only was a way..." as he looks at the Matrix.  When Ratchet questions what he's doing, Sparky says that every time something bad happened — to his men, to Jimmy, to Spike — he thought to himself, "If only I could have taken their place."  As he hears Devastator knocking through the Ark's walls, Sparky tells Optimus that he knows Optimus is going to care for the world like he cares for his boys.  Asking Optimus to watch over Spike for him, Sparky begins to enter the Matrix.  Before he disappears, he asks the Autobots to tell Spike how proud he is of him.  Sparky then fully disappears into the Matrix, and Optimus is healed.

Pledging to protect Spike and Earth, Optimus is ready to take on Devastator, who's made his way into the Ark.  He tears off Devastator's finger, opens fire with his gun and Megatron's cannon, and then kicks him in the face.

Elsewhere, Cliffjumper gets the jump (heh) on Starscream and wonders aloud what it'll be like to get the revenge he's dreamt about getting.  In the end, though, as he stands over Starscream, he can't pull the trigger, telling Carly that he's tired of all of it.  It's a devastating moment, seeing a warrior surrender to his grief, just as Optimus did moments earlier.  Johnson really uses these moments — and Thundercracker's grief over Skywarp — to convey just how weary the Transformers all are.  But Starscream is nothing but wily and grabs Carly to facilitate his escape.

Meanwhile, Optimus uses his alternate mode to lead Devastator from the Ark and then transforms to continue kicking his ass.  In a fantastic moment, he uses a charging Devastator's momentum against him and hurls him over his head, where —in possibly the best splash page I've ever seen — he crashes into Starscream.  Cliffjumper manages to grab Carly, who's furious at him for not ending it all by killing Starscream, and the Constructions grab Starscream and flee.

In yet another unforgettable moment, Optimus stops Soundwave and tells him that he just wants them to try to save their home.  Soundwave considers Ravage, whose body he's cradling, and then hurls a punch at Optimus, who tells him that he wants peace but is no fool.  Soundwave watches Optimus wordlessly as Thudercracker carries them into the distance.

As if all that isn't enough, we end with Spike awakening and asking where his dad is.

In other words, it's just a spectacular issue from start to finish.  I've loved the Transformers for a long time, and it's really wonderful to see them treated so well.

The Weatherman, Vol. 3 #3:  LeHeup should've titled this issue:  "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things."

The issue begins in the city of Tharsis on Mars, not exactly where I expected us to be given how we ended last issue.  The Marshal is looking for someone named "the Dream Master."  He shakes down someone to get the Dream Master's location and then finds a strung-out Cross lying between some garbage bags in a back alley.

Later, Cross awakens with a start in a bed in a cabin.  After her initial confusion, she wears a look of shame when she sees the Marshal's boots on a railing outside her window.  She wraps herself in a blanket and heads to look at the inlet the cabin overlooks.  She asks the Marshal how he found her, and he responds, "Redhead nemo junkie gettin' into bar fights so she can lose 'em?  Easiest job I ever had."  She asks where they are, and he tells her that he lived here once with a woman and her son after the service.  He tells her that the woman had a calm way about her and taught him how to see the world in color before, of course, the virus took her and now all he sees is red.

Cross asks the Marshal if Jenner is right, and the Marshal acknowledges that it feels that way sometimes, "bunch'a doomed idiots that can't stop hurtin' cuz they can't stop hurtin.'"  He asks if she really wants to know whether people deserve to die or she does, specifically.  She admits that she can't stop thinking about Nathan and corrects herself to say Ian.  Since she couldn't bring back her son, she broke him, and she admits now she'd do anything to save him.  She then asks why he thinks Nathan stayed alive after Earth, and the Marshal says that he doesn't really now, just that maybe Ian thought he'd gotten a raw deal.  But he notes that this Ian has no hope, which makes him a dangerous man.  But, to the Marshal's mind, if she can find her fight again, she might help Ian find his.

Elsewhere, Burga is discussing the election with her advisor, Jared, and notes that Jenner's Giant Cartoon Doomsday Clock is timed to when Mars will announce the results of its presidential race.  She laments that Councilman Cyrus — a Trumpian figure who "represents the worst of humanity - tribalism, fear-mongering, greed" — is going to win because she hasn't delivered Jenner's head on a platter.  We learn Jenner is after something that is "safely secured inside a top secret Marine base in the heart of the Venusian wasteland."  She comments that, so long as she doesn't get a call that the "something" is no longer "safely secured," they have an election to win.  Then, the phone rings.

At the Venus hypergate, Cross, the Marshal, and White Light are waiting at a traffic jam after some of the hypergate's anchors failed, which means the gate is susceptible to drift.  Their hope is to find Ian's tracker so they can get a read on Jenner's trail.  The Marshal hands Cross some food, and she reacts violently.  The Marshal looks upset, and White Light hilariously writes, "He tried to make something nice!!" on a white board, prompting Cross to tell him that she loves it.  It's an adorable moment in a series with few of them.  Of course, the joy ends instantly when the Marshal asks Cross if she wants seconds and she realizes that a second sample exists (despite Burga telling her that she destroyed it in vol. 2, issue #6).

(Cross makes this realization when she remembers that Djinn told her in issue #1 that Ian wanted to wipe his mind for a "second reason."  Cross (and I) initially thought she meant Sadie (the daughter, not the dog), but, as we see below, Cross realizes that it's because Ian knew where the second bomb was.)

On Venus, Jenner and his team have broken into the facility Burga mentioned.  Ghost is taking on the troops outside while Alice is hacking into the system and Molly, Jenner, and Ian are making their way through the facility.  A dying guard begs Ian to save him and Ian hesitates, only for Jenner to smash his face dramatically, asking Ian who's really innocent.  (When I saw graphically, I mean graphically.  Like, his foot moves in the viscera.)  A guard pumps Jenner's back full of lead, which he somehow expels from his body before killing the guard via electrocution.  Continuing his tirade, Jenner notes that most people are looking for a better world but are "unwilling to sacrifice even the most modest of comforts to achieve it," which I guess means no one is innocent in Jenner's eyes.  

At this point, Alice is using her butterflies to control an engineer to open the vault with the virus.  Jenner notes that Cross lied to Ian — telling him Jenner had the virus sample when he didn't — just to get her revenge.  Jenner says the innocent know they're not innocent once their distractions —their shows, their championships — end.  As he approaches the virus, he says he will end their suffering for real.

As they race to Venus, Cross is screaming at Burga on a call, telling Burga that she told her (Cross) that Burga destroyed the virus and observing that they only have eight hours to save Mars.  LeHeup then connects the dots when he returns to a mystery from last issue, namely why Jenner was so blasé when Ian failed his psych scan.  Cross (correctly) hypothesizes that Ian learned where the second sample was when he stole the first one, but he and Jenner had their "falling out" (i.e., Jenner committed genocide) before Ian told Jenner where it was.  As mentioned above, it's the second reason why Ian wanted to erase his memory.  Since he failed to do so, though, Ian retained that information, which Alice then read.  Burga reinstates Cross, and she, the Marshal, and White Light head to the base.  As Cross says, "[If] we die, we died being awesome."

Hitting the ground, White Light takes on Ghost, who's basically Transor-Z at this point, as Cross heads to the control room and the Marshal to the vault.  White Light transforms their ship again (see vol. 2, issue #5), so we get a fucking awesome Transformers match-up here, which I wasn't expecting.

As Cross enters the base, she sees Ian holding Sadie (the dog) on his shoulders, with Alice noting, "This did not age well.  And you think we're messed up."  (Fair point, honestly, Alice.)  Meanwhile, the Marshal is ready to assassinate Jenner and looks at a locket with photos of, presumably, the woman and her son that he mentioned earlier.  Back in the control room, Alice switches the image that Cross sees to Sadie (the daughter), commenting that Cross has already immersed herself in a horrific reality so she (Alice) didn't need to do anything else.  Alice puts Cross' gun to her (Alice's) head and tells Cross to pull the trigger, but the Marshal observers this development in time as, in reality, Cross has her own gun under her chin (due to Alice's manipulations).  Forgoing taking out Jenner, the Marshal assassinates Alice.  (Cross comments, "Thought you didn't care," and the Marshal responds, "Don't tell White Light.")  Later, Jenner finds the locket that the Marshal left.

Outside, Molly, Jenner, and Ian bolt for their ship as Ghost is handing White Light her ass.  However, White Light lets Ghost attack her ship so she can sneak into Ghost and set off a bomb, destroying him.  Cross shouts at Ian as he and his crew depart, asking him not to do what they're going to do, and Ian stares out her furiously.  Cross, the Marshal, and White Light just watch them go.

It's a fucking ride, y'all.  You know, as I've said before, I'm not sure we're getting a happy ending here.

Monday, November 25, 2024

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The March 13 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Napalm Lullaby #1:  I love Rick Remender, but, oof, this issue is a lot, even for me.

A couple named Paul and Brenda are leading a rally in Norfolk, Nebraska.  Around sunset, they send the participants home and themselves head home in their pickup truck.  Given the cross hanging in the truck's rear-view mirror, it seems like Brenda is talking about God and/or Jesus when she tells Paul that they need to enforce "his" will.  Before they can finish that discussion, however, a light appears, and they crash into a tree.  

From a portal, a leonine robot emerges with futuristic troops in pursuit.  After the troops take down the robot, one of them refers to it as the "last of the Mechawombs."  They open the robot and discover a baby in a nest, Kal-El style, inside its chest cavity; they then argue over who's going to kill the baby.  Before they can, the baby's glowing eyes explode, eliminating the troops.  Paul and Brenda approach the baby and bring it into their car, with Paul telling Brenda that "he" heard her prayers.  As Brenda cuddles the baby, she says that "he" answered them, and we learn that "he" is an entity named "Glokor." 

Fifty years later, a brute that looks like the X-Men's Caliban murders three priests and steals the halos that hover over their heads.  As he walks through a slum, a beggar on "pilgrimage to the Crystal Temple" asks him for "protein."  A man at Old Nan's Funhouse calls him "Hork the Penniless," and Hork passes the wheelchair-ridden Nan on his way to a room.

He enters an Olympus-inspired garden, where a woman named Rose meets him.  Hork warns Rose about entering (presumably the Palace) with "dead priest haloports," predicting she'll be in one of the "straightening camps" by morning.  Agreeing that a deal is a deal, Rose strips down and begins to have sex with him, but the hologram is interrupted when someone pounds on the door.

It becomes clear that Hork and Rose are in cyberspace as the man banging on the door in reality enters the room.   The man wears a habuki-inspired mask, and Rose later calls him Sam.  Rose herself is dressed in black and white, with an all-black visor.  She warns Sam that he can't wake her like so abruptly, and Sam says that he couldn't "feel" Hork's lust any longer.  Hork pulls a knife to attack Rose, and Sam launches a pick-like object into Hork's head, mortally wounding him.  (He was aiming for his arm.). However, Sam is emotionally connected to Hork as he slowly dies, and, calling Rose "Sarah," asks her to sedate him.  Sarah is furious at him, since they're low on sedatives, but complies.

At that point, Nan and the doorman enter, and she orders the doorman to swipe the haloports.  Sarah asks Sam for the pen that dispenses the sedatives as they flee the doorman, who corners them quickly.  Sam offers him the haloports, but the doorman stomps Sam's head instead.  Sarah leaps for the gun that fires the pick-like objects, but the doorman breaks her back over his knee before she can grab it.  The doorman returns to Nan's and gives her the bag with the haloports, and she exposits that she'll finally make the pilgrimage with them.

Meanwhile, Sam and Sarah are alive, escaping on a motorcycle with a sidecar.  If I'm following correctly, the sedative they used while fleeing the doorman allowed Sarah to create the illusion that the doorman killed them and swiped the haloports, so they're trying to escape before he and Nan realize the truth, that they still have them.  Sarah is concerned that they only have one dose of sedative left, but sam tells them that it doesn't matter since the gates are only open a little while longer.  As Bandal gives us a view of the city, full with the spectacular Palace and smaller gates, Sam opines, "How do you prepare to kill a god?"

Having just read "Mistborn:  The Final Empire," I'm guessing that we're facing a similar story, particularly given Remender's backmatter treatise.  However, Remember doesn't quite deliver the same excitement as he did in "The Sacrificers" #1.  Although we were also dropped in media res in that issue, the emotions that Pigeon and his family felt about his impending sacrifice grabbed you by the lapels.  Here, we're given little insight into any of the characters, watching them mostly responding to external events.  I'm happy to hang in here, but I think we need some better focus in the next few issues to make this story as gripping as Remender's other series.

No/One #8:  At this point, I'm hard pressed to see how Higgins and Buccellato are going to wrap up this story in two issues, given it just got even more complicated.

Three weeks after Gill slipping capture, the cops still can't find him.  Chief Mixon correctly points out Gill was working service industry jobs and likely didn't have the resources to evade capture this long without help.  Before the meeting adjourns, Singh tells Mixon the Ledger "has the story" about the .38 Special; Mixon thanks Singh for the heads-up and comments that he'll warn Ben.

At a coffee shop, Teddy approaches Julia to tell her that he meant what he said on the podcast — about how he hadn't intended to hang out Julia to dry but acknowledges that he did so all the same.  Julia thanks him, but, before they discuss the podcast, their phones buzz.  At Ledger HQ, they learn Ben Kern's training officer, Jack Sherman, used the .38 Special 35 years earlier to shoot and kill a kid named Daryl Graves.  In the series of news clips that fill the next two pages, Graves' parents say their son never owned a gun and a salesman says he sold Sherman the gun.

Later, at a diner, Sherman meets Ben and leaps across the table to make sure he wasn't wearing a wire.  Sherman accuses Ben of telling people what they did, and Ben says he only ever told his wife.  Sherman wisely notes Aaron could've overheard him, and Ben tells Sherman he accepts the consequences for their actions, namely that Sherman shot an unarmed kid and they lied about it.  Meanwhile, outside the diner, the Weiss Macht Brotherhood (WMB) are preparing to go after Ben.  (They're also demanding the authorities nullify the convictions they won based on Ben's infiltration of the group.)  Of course, Chobsky is with them.

Despite how badly it ended with Ben, Sherman calls him to warn him the WMD is outside the diner.  Revealing he's holding a gun, Ben tells Sherman that he plans to face them.  (At Major Crimes, Singh gets a call — likely from Sherman — that the WMB have pinned down Ben.)  As the WMB approaches Ben, No/One arrives and knocks off a guy on a motorcycle charging at Ben.  Ben jumps in No/One's car, and No/One berates him while evading the pursuing WMB bikers.  Ben swears he's already dead, and No/One tells him to find purpose in finding someone who needs help, saying, "You of all people should know that!"

Two days later, Ben calls Julia and promises to tell her everything about the gun.  First, though, he goes to Chuck's and tells him to tell him everything he remembers about Clarity because, in his words, he needs to know "if there's someone still waiting for her to come home."

OK, let's get down to brass tacks.

First, as Julia notes, both Harrison Gill and Aaron Kern used the .38 Special.  In his conversation with Sherman, Ben hypothesizes that either Aaron and Gill were working together or Gill got his hands on the gun somehow after the cops arrest Aaron.  In other words, it underscores that we really have no one what connections exist among the Accountability Killer(s), including the two Copycats we never mention.

Second, Ben's visit to Chuck implies that he thinks that the Clarity connection is more important than we've seen so far.  That makes sense, though you have to wonder why the Killer(s) didn't go after Coach Cade first in that case.  That said, given the (s) at the end of Killer(s), it isn't clear which killer might have the connection.  Is it Aaron?  Is it Harrison?  Is it one of the two Copycats?  Is it No/One?  It's possible that No/One's motivation for exposing corruption was the fact he knew people covered up Charity's death.  Or did Aaron or Gill or the Copycats get involved because they have a connection to Charity that we haven't yet seen?

Third, we still don't even have a hint about No/One's connection to the Killer(s).  All we know is that No/One started the campaign with his data drops but isn't (in theory) responsible for the Killer(s) starting to off people.  I think we're supposed to believe that No/One adopted his costumed identity to take responsibility for his actions.  In other words, he was initially content with the drops but took on the identity to stop the Killers from reverting his work.  But I don't think Higgins and Buccellato have even made that clear.

Finally, it's getting to hard to believe there is a connection here.  I'm worried it's going to feel hand-wavy at the end, like all the "victims" were members of the same BDSM club or something.

The podcast doesn't really shed much more light on the issue other than Ben publicly confirming that Sherman shot the kid, which Sherman denies in a preemptive press conference.  (I was figuring he was going to pin blame on Ben, which he doesn't here though may later.)  Notably, Julia is on the podcast, so we're all friends again, it seems.

In other words, as I said before, we have a lot to go with only two issues left.

The One Hand #2:  It's apparently murder mystery week this week!

The issue opens with Ari visiting an informant, Juice, after he (Juice) witnessed a murder.  Juice tells Ari that he watched some clubbers beat up a kid and douse him with paint thinner.  When the kid shut down completely, they got annoyed and set him on fire.  Juice can't get over the fact the kid just stood there and let them burn him alive; as Ari is leaving, Juice reveals the kid kept saying, over and over again, "Can't get out."

At the precinct, Ari is upset when the person answering the phone at the brothel doesn't know who Nemone is.  He ends the call, and Mac approaches his desk.  Mac tells Ari the Department has "the new guy from crypto" working on the cipher, though Ari views it as a waste of time.  As they're leaving the precinct to interview last issue's victim's next of kin, Ari is served papers as the District Attorney is reviewing his conviction of the previous One Hand Killer.

At the victim's house, the victim's wife is somewhat ambivalent about his death, telling the detectives that he was an unremarkable man who you could forget was there.  She explains she only went on a date with him because she spilled a drink on him.  Ari looks around the room and sees one of the ciphers in the way a set of photos are arranged.  (It's unclear if we're supposed to conclude the Killer actually uses items close to the victims as inspiration for the ciphers or if Ari just sees the case everywhere.)  

As Ari and Mac are leaving, Ari asks the widow if she loved the victim.  She slams the door in their faces.  Mac is annoyed at Ari, but Ari makes the point the Killer might  be targeting the people who live in the gaps in society.

Along those lines, Ari heads to the brothel, and the maintenance guy tells him they overhauled the operation the previous day.  He brings Ari to storage, but Ari doesn't find Nemone there.  Instead, he finds flyers for a lady who runs a gallery and comes to the brothel for parts.

Ari heads to the Marker-Vaugn Art Gallery, where a decadent party is in full swing.  A drunk man accosts Ari after he recognizes him from the papers, and Ari starts to leave but notices a faceless person in the crowd seemingly with a sixth finger.  Ari tries to follow him, but security has him to leave since he's causing a disturbance.  When he exits the building, the skyline is green, the result of a chemical truck that overturned.  He returns a call from Mac who informs him they have another case.  Mac comments that he feels like he stepped into a "murder room" as a rookie and "can't get out."

I'm definitely down with Ram V is going here.  Plenty of cop stories deal with people on the margins, since they're easy victims.  But it feels like Ram V is making the point that more of us are in those gaps than we think, that really only the movers and shakers matter.  I'm not sure how that's going to play into the mystery, but it feels relevant at this point.

Also Read:  Star Wars:  Darth Vader #44