Twelve-Month-Old Comics!: The February 8 Edition - Part 1 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #19:  The only problem with this issue is that it makes me pine for Kelly and Dodson to take over this title.  

Unlike Wells, Kelly manages to mix comedy with action and drama in an organic way throughout the issue.  Deciding to take their relationship to the next level, Felicia and Peter unexpected find Mary Jane and Paul at the same upstate spa.  (Hilariously, Felicia and Paul have a sotte voce conversation about using a Snapshot groupon.)  

Kelly milks the tension for all its worth, from Peter clutching shut his robe (and Felicia, to Paul's discomfort, reminding Peter that both she and Mary Jane has seen him naked) to Peter finally opening his robe to reveal "Here, Kitty, Kitty" boxer shorts.  Ha!  The comedic awkwardness also advances the plot as Felicia tells Peter that he needs to be honest with her (and himself) about his feelings for Mary Jane.  It's always fun when Felicia is the responsible adult.

Moreover, this tension isn't just the issue's point, as it so often is in Wells' stories.  Instead, it's the backdrop of Peter and Felicia discovering that White Rabbit has stolen gear that mimics the Sinister Six's powers.  She's dating a genius, Mychal, who installed safeties on the gear so they can rent it to rich tech bros to play "The Greatest Game," super-villain style.  Honestly?  I'm surprised this scenario hasn't played out yet in the real world.  Kelly's gift for comedy remains on full display throughout the action as Peter gets into a genius pissing contest as the bros trying to figure out how his Web-Shooters work, resulting in Felicia telling him to stop Spideysplaining to "entitled felons."

But it isn't all giggles and laughs as Mychal winds up dead and the bro seem to want to kill Spider and Felicia as they take off the safeties.

[Sigh.]  If only we got such a multifaceted story every moth...I guess I'll have to enjoy it while I can.

Batman #132:  Zdarsky throws us right into the mystery here as the issue begins with Bruce shadowing Jewel as she tries to save people from getting sent to Arkham.  

As they patrol the streets, Bruce learns that Judge Dent sent Jewel's father to Arkham due to his grief over her mother's death from cancer.  Jewel recognizes Bruce is having a hallucination (he's staring at Jimbo from last issue) and tells him that they aren't from "multiversal travel" (as Bruce thought) but from "Crane Brain," a drug the authorities pump into the air to find more victims for Arkham.  She gives Bruce pills that block the drug's effect and tells Bruce that Halliday Industries produces the pills at Athena Tower.  Bruce realizes that Halliday might have taken over the role that Wayne Enterprises played in his Gotham so heads there.

In an interlude, Red Mask visits Dent, who's stewing about the possibility that Bruce is out there.  In a show of power, Red Mask de-Venomizes Dent, shrinking him into a skeletal version of himself.  Red Mask demands Dent find Bruce, treating to take away his "gift" more permanently.

Bruce begins to show uncharacteristic signs of emotional trauma as he talks to Jewel.  He makes her eggs, and she's amazed at how good they are.  He comments on how his sons were always hungry, and an old friend taught him how to make them.  Later, Jewel works with Bruce to develop a persona so he can attend Halliday's upcoming fundraiser where, of course, Bruce encounters Selina.  She exposits for us that this world's Bruce Wayne gave up his billions to become a social worker before his presumed death.  She points out Halliday in the crowd...and it's the Joker.  Man, I did *not* see that coming.  Before Bruce (or we) can process that, Punchline arrives, and she and Selina attack.  Killer Croc joins the fun, and Bruce realizes he's in trouble.  He takes out Croc and marvels how the wealthy Athena Tower residents don't even flinch at the violence.

Then he sees Alfred.  At the issue's start, we saw that this world's Alfred is in a relationship with Leslie Thompkins, and it's clear that he used the money Bruce left him to buy their safety in the Tower.  Bruce shakes off the idea that it's *his* Alfred or *his* Selina, but he's distracted enough for a cop to shoot him, propelling him out the building.  Bruce falls through a warehouse skylight and, lying on the floor, confesses to himself that he misses his "sons" and "his" Selina.  It's a heartbreaking moment, but he tells himself that any Gotham is his Gotham.  Stumbling through the streets, Bruce tries to help someone fight off one of Judge Dent's cops but gets his ass handed to him.  In one of Zdarksy's most brilliant moments, as Bruce lays bleeding in the alley, he sees a bat and decides, "I shall become a bat."  Damn, this series is on fire.

The back-up story is just as good.  We learn that Toyman went on a rampage before he died, and the gun he used - the one Failsafe used on Batman - either turned people into toy versions of themselves or dissipated them.  Tim examines one of the toys and realizes that it's producing multiversal energy.  Correctly realizing that Toyman didn't kill himself but instead sent himself and the disappeared and toy people to another reality, Tim calls Mister Terrific.  

Mister Terrific provides Tim with a new invention, an outfit that creates a tether and discs so the user can travel multiversally.  Tim is surprised when he arrives in a suburban area but quickly tracks down the victims...only for Toyman and his army of toy-ified victims to find him.

In other words, it's great stuff.  If I have one complaint it's that Zdarsky feels like he's rushing a bit.  He probably could've found a way to delay the confrontation at Athena Tower to next issue.  I'm just greedy, though.  I don't want any of it to end.

Blade Runner 2039 #3:  As usual, Johnson does a great job of slowly unspooling the mystery at this series' core.  We don't know everything yet, but we know enough that Ash should be worried.

Ash visits Wojciech in a retirement home; it seems lovely so it's nice to see someone in this series might have a happy ending (hopefully).  Wojciech confirms that she heard rumors about a Replicant Blade Runner but doesn't have any more information about it.  She encourages Ash to leave it be, which we (including Wojciech) know she won't do.

Ash stops by a noodle place before heading to the sticks, and Cleo finds her there because Ash took her there once.  Ash is enraged that Cleo is there, but Cleo tells her that Isobel is missing.  Cleo takes Ash to her penthouse, explaining that they're not rich on Arcadia but money goes further on Earth.  She explains that she's a schoolteacher and married with a son.  She wants to know more about Ash, but Ash is worried about her safety so tells her to stay in the apartment.

At a bar later, Ash is worried about all these "coincidences:"  a Replicant Blade Runner, Cleo on Earth, Isobel in the wind.  Underscoring Ash's senes, Hythe arrives and tells Ash that she met the Replicant Blade Runner.  She hands Ash the data Wallace wants, figuring they'll be safer with her, and Ash saves her right before she's assassinated.  Ash and Hythe then take out two Wallace employees who originally picked up Luv at the issue's start.  

The issue ends with Luv arriving at Cleo's apartment, though I don't know how she realized "Mrs. Calhoun" was Cleo.  She had been reviewing traffic files (as part of her punishment), so maybe a traffic camera identified her?  We'll see.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #10:  Silva is spectacular here, as he walks us through Cap and Nomad trying to take out Falcon in a battle in the sky.  Thankfully, Onyebuchi more or less manages not to get in the way.  

That said, it was incredibly disingenuous to lead us to believe Joaquín killed his grandmother only to reveal that he only fed on the horses.  Moreover, White Wolf goes all pet peeve #3 here as he tells his general that he just wanted to take Joaquín off the board but got lucky when the "chemical" turned him into a vampire.  Does he explain what the chemical is or why he used a chemical instead of just killing Joaquín?  No, no, he doesn't.  

But given how awful the previous issues have been I'm glad I didn't hate this one.  That's where I am with this series.

Know Your Station #3:  I'm still not entirely convinced Marin or St. Brigid isn't behind the murders, but Elise and Marin do establish some baseline criteria for the killer that makes sense.

First thing first, they're called to Vesper Norton's suite where they find his body.  Like the Raulssons, the killer has...arranged it.  Whereas the killer strung up the Raulssons artistically, the killer has drained Norton's blood into hundreds of tiny vials and replaced the blood with Blue.  It's...a lot.  

But it also makes Elise and Marin realize that the killer has pretty advanced medical skills.  They feel like it all points to a staff member, but, as staff members, they don't feel like one of their colleagues did it.  Presumably their motive would be vengeance against an asshole billionaire, but, as Elise says, all the staff know the score so it seems weird one of them would go rogue.  But, given the "celebratory" nature of the killings, it also doesn't feel like a Board member offing other Board members for power.  In other words, they have no idea.

The issue has other strange revelations, like the fact St. Brigid deactivates *all* suite cameras when Elise is on Blue, not just hers.  Also, Elise confesses to Marin that she was a dishwasher with no background in security.  For some reason, though, Raulsson liked her energy when she onboarded and gave her the security job.

The issue ends with all the residents getting a message saying that they're next.  Gailey doesn't have Elise tell Marin that St. Brigid keeps telling her that she was the only person to access the rooms of the previous victims, which is ostensibly the reason why she isn't calling the police.  Marin doesn't trust the police to solve the problem anyway, so he isn't asking.  But at this point it's hard to believe that Elise is going to retain control over this situation much longer.

Eleven-Month-Old Comics: The February 1 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

It's been a few months - OK, almost a year - but am I going to give it the old college try and attempt to get through my backlog?  Yes, I am!

Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty #9:  Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what happens here.  I think Captain America and his new Invaders' attempt to free Manhattan from A.I.M.'s control is all part of a simulation that M.O.D.O.C. created to keep them busy for...reasons?  I think?  Complicating matters, someone attacked M.O.D.O.K. during an interlude, but I'm not sure what conclusion we're supposed to draw from the attack.  It maybe turned him into M.O.D.O.C.?  Maybe?  Oof, this issue.

Dark Web Finale #1:  I don't even know what to say here.  This entire event was so utterly ridiculous that it seems equally ridiculous to try to recap it.  It's my job, though, so I'll try.

Madelyne opens Limbo's embassy to the United States in New York to show the people in the dark that they're also in the light.  (We're really pushing the "bad guys are just misunderstood good guys" schtick beyond the point of reasonable disbelief here.)  She also decides to keep Ben in prison in Limbo (something all good guys would totally do).  Of all the possible outcomes for Ben, "locked in prison in Limbo" is the lowest on my preferred list.  I'd almost rather him dead.

Of my many complaints about this "event," the central one is the fact that Wells seems to have created a solution to Ben's problem that no one ever suggested.  I don't see why Jean could've shared Peter's memories with Ben the way she did with Madelyne. Before this event, Wells implied that Peter would lose his memories if he shared them with Ben (though Wells never really fleshed out that premise).  As such, Jean's abilities resolve that problem (if it was indeed a problem).  

But, again, no one even suggests that course of action.  It isn't like someone did suggest it and Peter refused because he wouldn't be special if he shared his memories with Ben.  That would've at least given us an interesting moral quandary, since Peter would definitely be the asshole in that situation.  But, again, we never even get there.

In other words, given that Ben's lack of Peter's (good) memories is allegedly what drives Chasm's darkness, he seems a pretty problem to solve with Jean's help.  (He isn't Maria.)  

To make matters worse, Peter constantly harangues Ben for his anger that he isn't really a person, as if he should just get over it.  Does Peter forget the "Shrieking" arc, where he decided that he'd never be Peter Parker again given the pain he felt losing his parents during "Lifetheft?"  Again, even if Peter isn't the asshole (in the sense that he's unaware he could use Jean's powers to solve the problem), he is here.

I could continue but I won't.  It's all a fucking mess.

Minor Threats #4:  Holy fucking shit, this issue is amazing and intense.

Patton and Blum do a phenomenal job of keeping the gang ridiculous but the story serious all at once.  I really had no idea where the story was going page to page.  

More than anything, though, it's Pigeon's narration that makes this issue, as it really amps up the emotional punch of his eventual heel turn.  

In a flashback, Pigeon breaks into a museum to steal Fabergé eggs only to find a scalped security guard with one of the eggs implanted in his exposed brain.  His horror at the scene reminds me of Riddler's iconic line from "Secret Origins Special" #1:  "Joker is killing people, for God's sake."

Returning to the present, Pigeon explicates Stickman's goals for us.  First, he decided that his relationship with Insomniac had gotten too complicated.  He wanted to go back to basics; by killing Kid Dusk, he discarded the "child-endangerment thing."  Next, Stickman set the trap at the Trophy Room to trim Insomniac's rogues' gallery.  Now, he implants bombs in the team's brainstems and sends them, via his sidekick Sideswipe, to the Dream Cave with enough C-4 to destroy it.  To Stickman's mind, he'll make Insomniac "fun again" by breaking all his toys.  Ho boy.  Not many people are playing with full decks in Twilight City.

But the team's paranoia about the traitor amongst them gets the better of them; as Stickman listens via the microphones he fitted on them, they kill each other.  After Stickman arrives, a toy distracts Sideswipe, and his portal closes while he's halfway through it, killing him.

Of course, it turns out the gang isn't dead.  That said, man, the guys had me going there for a while.  I noticed the various tanks full of fish when the gang arrived in the Dream Cave, and apparently Scalpel did as well.  Once Playtime used her powers to send in nano-sized Army soldiers to remove the bombs from their brains, Scalpel used the puffer fish's tetrodotoxin to simulate their deaths.  

Confronting Stickman, Brain Tease claims that he saw through Stickman's "ruse" about a traitor amongst them, but he's proven wrong yet again when Pigeon holds a gun behind Playtime's head.

Via another flashback, Pigeon explains that he feared not just a future that involved this new level of brutality but also that he had no role in it.  Throwing in his lot with Stickman, Pigeon decided he might escape irrelevance.  (The scene where someone sends him a drink in a lonely diner on Christmas Eve is devastating.)  

As Stickman starts attacking the gang, Pigeon begins to realize his mistake and recalls how he had no one and nothing, but putting on the mask made him somebody.  He aches for the days when "the Code" meant something and the supervillains were all thick as thieves.  To save Frankie, he drives the Dreammobile (or whatever it's called) into Stickman.  Stickman tries to kill Pigeon as he reaches through the broken windshield, but Frankie uses his hammer to kill him.

With Stickman dead, a terrified Frankie tries to find a way to escape the Dream Cave.  But Insomniac arrives, and he's fucking nuts.  He's furious they took away killing Stickman from him and attacks Frankie.  Snake Stomper saves her, telling Insomniac that his punch is for Diego Salas before Insomniac kills him, another devastating moment in this issue.  Insomniac moves to take out Frankie, but she sees Toy Queen's jack-in-the-box gun in one of Insomniac's shattered trophy cases and uses it to decapitate him.  Never has a murder felt more just, I have to say.

In a news report, we watch as the cops lead Brian Tease to prison for the murders, and he seems thrilled.  Toy Queen wakes from a nap to find the blood-splattered gun where it belonged in her trophy case, realizing (also with joy) that Frankie killed Insomniac.

Frankie goes to Pigeon's hospital room and tells him that the Continuum agreed to leave Redport if she agreed to keep Insomniac's murder quiet.  To his horror, she then exiles him from Twilight City.  We later see Frankie with her daughter, so it's clear that the Continuum also cleared Frankie's name.  (Frankie's daughter apparently made a terrifying toy pony at daycare, so that's fun.)

Later that night, Frankie enters the bar where it all began.  Based on the respectful (and fearful) looks she gets, everyone knows that she killed Insomniac and Stickman.  Someone hands her usual ("Chilled it eight minutes like you said."), and she passes a shrine to Snake Stomper to the backroom.  There, Scalpel has a superhero tied to a chair, and he starts to rant about the Continuum.  Frankie holds a gun to his head and tells him to send a message that superheros aren't welcome in Redport.  He asks what the message is, and she says, "You are."

In other words, it's all just fucking amazing.  Unlike the tonal mess that is Wells' "Amazing Spider-Man," Oswalt and Blum really manage to combine drama and humor in a wonderful blend, so you never really know what to expect panel to panel.  I cannot recommend this series enough.

Moon Knight #20:  This issue is solid.  

Someone - "the Ghost in the Telephone" - brainwashed a pair of two-bit goons who 8 Ball identifies as the Harlequin Hit Men and had them kill Marc's five of the 12 members of Marc's former "Shadow Cabinet."  Hilariously, Marc dismisses the Hit Men as D-List villains given that 8 Ball called them "a couple of jokes" and they once fought Speedball.  But Marc isn't likely to take their murder spree lightly.

The back-up story is possibly the best part.  We learn that Marc's predecessor once helped Blade, so he's willing to do Marc a favor and teach Reece how to be a vampire.  I wouldn't have put two and two together there, but I'm thrilled McKay did because it's a great pairing.  Reece showed her worth in the main story as Marc's "woman in the chair," keeping him focused and using Jake to identify the route the Hit Men were taking so he could stop them.  Under Blade's guidance, she'll be a kick-ass vampire.

Star Wars:  Sana Starros #1:  Sana has two dads!  As a gay man raising a kick-ass daughter, I have to say that I love the idea that my little girl could one day maim and murder her way across the galaxy with the flare and grumpiness of Sana Starros.  (We also learn that Sana has an estranged twin brother, Phel.)

The issue begins with Sana realizing that she needs a break after apparently ending her relationship with Aphra.  As such, she comes to her grandmother's house, where her grandmother, Grammy Thea, informs us that she always comes home after a break-up.

Of course, it turns out Sana isn't the only one who makes questionable romantic decisions in the Starros family.  Her cousin, Aryssha, is pregnant with twins whose father is an Imperial officer, Captain Cerasus Ehllo, who storms Sana's grandmother house to find Aryssha.  It turns out Aryssha wanted to give birth at her ancestral home, but Ehllo wants her to give birth on his ship.  He takes her with him and then orders his troopers to kill Aryssha's mother, Mevera, and Grammy Thea.

Of course, Sana saves them...except they pretty much save themselves.  They take her to the armory, underscoring that Sana isn't the only, um, "capable" woman in the family.  It also turns out Ehllo taking Aryssha is part of the family's plan to steal back a family heirloom.  As Sana says, you can see why she doesn't visit often.  So much for her vacation.

Six-Month-Old Comics: The January 25 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #18:  OMG, this issue is really one of the worst comics I've ever read.  I just don't know what I can say at this point.  

Instead of Madelyne suggesting to Jean that she facilitate Peter sharing his memories with Ben in a way that won't compromise said memories (like Jean did for Madelyne in "Dark Web:  X-Men" #3), Madelyne just cuts Ben loose and sides with the X-Men.  Oof.

Of course, that said, I *think* Peter's objection to sharing his memories with Ben was that it would cause him to loose said memories, but I don't actually know at this point.  

It all just sucks.  Honestly, I can't believe I'm going to say what I'm going to say, but I'm considering not reading this series anymore.

Dragon Age:  The Missing #1:  This series finally puts aside the increasingly confusing Wraith-related stories and brings back Varic as he and Harding search for Solas.  

Following rumors that Solas is hiding in the Deep Roads, Varic and Harding bump into a pair of Grey Wardens investigating disappearances that started after excavations broke into the Roads.

After helping the Wardens take out the Darkspawn behind the abductions, Varic and Harding find Solas' lair and an invitation to "call upon the Lady Crysanthus" in Vyrantium, where they head next.

I don't have much else to say at this point, other than I'm interested to see where we go.

Justice Society of America #2:  This series isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, and given all the time travel I'd normally put myself in that camp.  But something about Helena leaving the infirmary and walking into the spectacular hotness (and chest hair) of the assembled Society is thrilling to me.  Of course, as I said, it involves time travel, so it's hard to follow at the best of times.

Helena awakens in 1940 and tells the Society that she's from a future where someone murders her Society.  Helena exposits that she recognized the someone as "a man I've seen on the edges of my perisperhal visions since I was ten."  Dr. Fate attempts to peer into her timeline to share her experiences with the group but the same "someone" transports his consciousness into his future 1941 where he and his protégée, Salem the Witch Girl, are trying to find Mister Miracle to free her from her curse.  Instead, they find him fighting Solomon Grundy, though Fate's consciousness is snapped back to 1940 again.

In the present, Catwoman fights the "someone" whom she recognizes as "Degaton," who Wikipedia tells me is an old-school Society enemy.  He refers to "Snow Globe" turning Helena into a "blind spot," which makes no particular sense now but likely will later.  He also exposits that he needs to kill all the Society members for "the ritual" to work, so he clearly needs to track down Helena.  

Anyway, he kills Selina, which Helena can somehow see.  But she's again somehow transfered through time again (with Dr. Fate's symbols in her eyes) and awakens in another alley, this time at Khalid's feet though he doesn't recognize her.  He's joined by Deadman and Detective Chimp.

In other words, it's a lot.  But I'm down with seeing where we go from here if we get more shots of Jay Garrick's eyes.

Sins of Sinister #1:  I stopped reading "Immortal X-Men" with issue #6, but this issue recaps the relevant developments that I assume happened in issues #7-#10:  namely, Sinister compromises the Krakoan DNA database so that every resurrected mutant is secretly subservient to him.  He begins with Charles, Emma, Exodus, and Hope.  

Sinister isn't an idiot, though, so he has the Council put him in the Pit while his pawns carry out his plan:  namely, Krakoa offers humans an X-Gene to get them in the resurrection queue.  Of course, it's a Trojan Horse that will enable Sinister to take over the planet.  Clever, that Sinister.

Thanks to an interstitial page, we learn his ultimate plan is to use Earth's population and the Moira Engine to achieve Dominion status before "hyper-A.I.s" take over the planet.

As he takes over the mutants, he has Sinister-Forge launch an attack from space that fries Krakoa's brain, allowing the mutants to claim to the public that all non-mutant backups were lost.  It therefore encourages more humans to get the X-Gene, accelerating Sinister's takeover.  

We then get a series of splash pages that details the next ten years of Sinister taking out his enemies, like corrupting the Avengers through the X-Gene.  Storm is the only person who eludes capture after she guess something was amiss in the Council and worked out a deal with Lactuca to make sure Sinister couldn't control her.

But it all goes to hell when Sinister discovers someone has stolen his lab and his Moiras.  Ruh-roh.

Over all, it's a solid introduction to this event.  Gillen expertly weaves his story through the X-Men recent status quo, making for a story that feels like it was Hickman's intent from the start.  We'll see where we go from here.

Star Wars:  Yoda #3:  My issue with Yoda has always been that he's so wise yet missed the fact that he was sitting next to Darth Sidious for years.  He also oversaw a system that treated young children as little more than soldiers for present and future wars.  This issue underscores that he didn't just treat Force-sensitive children that way.  Equal opportunity assholery!

Although Bree's murder of Riak last issue ensures the Scalvi's safety for years, Yoda's abrupt departure leaves Bree a broken shell of a person.  As an adult, Bree has never gotten over Yoda's abandonment despite the Scalvi treating him as a hero.  Yoda returns just in time for Bree's nephew to kidnap the Crulkon leader's daughter.  Bree listens to the girl as she informs him that Turrak's oceans are devoid of life, and he realizes that the Crulkon are, and always have been, starving.  He opens the Scalvis' gates to the Crulkon, which is obviously the outcome Yoda wanted.

But you have to wonder if it had to happen this way.  Yoda admits that he allowed the Crulkon to kidnap him to test Bree, and Bree of course failed when he killed Riak.  But Yoda simply abandoned him to his failure.  It seems possible that Bree could've become the sort of man to see the Crulkon's suffering without taking a life or spending years wondering why he failed Yoda.

A hero, I'm not sure Yoda is.

Also Read:  X-Terminators #5

Six-Month-Old Comics: The January 18 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dark Web:  X-Men #3:  This issue is terrible as it nullifies the entire point of this event.  When Jean realizes that Madelyne is after her memories of Nathan, she simply gives them to her, raising the question why Madelyne hadn't just asked her for them earlier.  Now, the only question hanging over this event, to my mind, is whether Jean can do the same thing for Ben.  Even if she does, this event feels like it could've been handled as an annual's back-up story.  What a joke.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #30:  Now we're getting somewhere.

Valance defects from the Empire after Tonga tells him that Cadeliah is with Crimson Dawn and Yura is dead.  Valance realizes that Vader and, to a lesser extent, Haydenn played him this entire time.  He uses the thermonuclear detonators that the supply ship was actually transporting to Bestine - notably not the alleged "food" for the people living outside the Imperial base - to destroy said base.  He explains to T'onga the attack was simply bait for Vader, who arrives at the issue's end.

Sacks doesn't have a lot of time to dwell on the emotions, but he doesn't miss the chance to do so.  He includes a flashback to Bossk, T'onga, and Valance's time on Nakano Lash's crew when Nakano tells them that their successes come from the fact that they're family.  T'onga reminds a devastated Valance of this conversation in an attempt to comfort him.  But Valance works out his feeling through taking out Imps, a reminder of how Tonga's offer of humanity is unlikely to get Valance to see his.

Star Wars:  Han Solo and Chewbacca #9:  This issue gets the whole gang together again.

Han brings the urn to Nar Shaddaa after he, Chewie, and Phaedra discover it doesn't contain ashes but an orb.  Lando's contact, an Ugnaught Sava, informs Han that it's actually the neural core of a droid named Ajax Sigma who led a droid rebellion two centuries ago.  

Of course, one of Khel Tanna's contacts tipped off Tanna that Han was on Nar Shaada and, of course again, Corbus Tyra bugged Tanna's communicator so he passed on this information to Marshall Vancto.  As such, everyone converges on the Sava's office.  The trio escapes only for Chewie to go after Marshall Vancto for shooting him in the back and Han and Phaedra encountering a blastered-up Tyra in the Falcon.  

As Han explains to Phaedra, it's all a pretty good example of his luck.

Six-Month-Old Comics: The January 11 Edition - Part 2 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Mary Jane & Black Cat #2:  Now that this series doesn't have anything to do with Dark Web, it's much better.

Belasco explains to Felicia and Mary Jane that, when Madelyne connected Limbo to Earth, she created "arcane vibrations" that rendered the spell phasing the Screaming Tower outside reality vulnerable.  Belsaco destroyed the spell, and he wants Felicia and Mary Jane to beat out all the other thieves trying to swipe his Soulsword from the Tower so he can rule Limbo.  I'm not entirely sure why he chose this pair but, given the nonsense we've seen in Spidey books lately, I'm good with the ambiguity.

We also get a hint that Mary Jane and Peter were gone longer than the six months everyone on Earth thought they were gone, but I've given up hope we'll ever fully understand that story.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #30:  I've said it a lot, and I'll say it again:  I still don't understand this arc.  

Soule reveals that Rabé infiltrated the Executor at the same time as Dormé.  While Dormé distracted Vader, Rabé hacked into the Executor's systems and discovered Sabé was on Brentaal IV.  When Vader takes Dormé with him en route to Fentalle, for reasons Soule doesn't make clear, the Handmaidens attack.  They threaten to blow up the Executor with a code Eirtaé wrote based on information Dormé and Rabé pulled from its system.  But it's an easy bluff for Vader to call.

Meanwhile, it turns out Sabé only wounded Jul Tambor, since she knew that Vader would've killed all his allies if he insisted on destroying the Imperial garrison on Skako Minor.  Tambor reveals that he's been buying up droids that Vader killed to analyze his movements (using their last memories).  As the Handmaidens struggle with Vader calling their bluff, Tambor contacts Vader to tell him that he has Sabé.  The Handmaidens agree to accompany Vader to retrieve her.

To a certain extent, I get all the Handmaidens' motives.  Sabé is using her influence to save as many people as she can, and the remaining Handmaidens are just trying to save Sabé.  But I still don't understand why Vader is entertaining this nonsense.  Is it really worth his time to toy with them?  Soule has gone to great lengths to show that Anakin is gone, so I don't think we're supposed to believe that he's in love with them.

[Sigh.]  I hope one day this story ends.

Wild C.A.Ts #3:  Rosenberg makes it clear here that these series isn't going to win any awards for narrative complexity, and I'm OK with that.  

Grifter immediately gets into a fight with Pike, one of the Seven Soldiers of Victory who worked with him on Team 6, when Grifter was known as Deadeye.  Marlowe suspends Cole for the fracas, but he's unsuspended when Deathblow, Fairchild, and Zealot need help saving Damon Walsh, the son of Dante Walsh,"the Ambassador."  Apparently some group kidnapped Damon to prevent the United States from getting involved in their country's internal affairs, but Voodoo reveals to the team that Damon's death would end the world.  Voodoo seems to direct the team's missions based on her visions.

At the time the team call him for help, Cole was visiting a rich guy named Jason Halliday because Cole somehow found out Halliday was a member of the Court of Owls.  (Halliday was shirtless when Cole awakened him in bed, but he's wearing a shirt when Cole is hanging him out a window, and I like to think Cole made him put on the shirt just to do that.)  I still don't get why Cole is so obsessed with the Court, but Rosenberg is a good writer so I assume we'll get there.

X-Men #18:  This issue is a mess.  The art is rushed, with everyone looking more like sketches than characters.  Moreover, Laura, Sr. confronts Laura, Jr. as if it's her fault that they're both alive.  Duggan also weirdly ties this issue to the "X-Terminators" series, meaning the Lauras have this conversation while fighting vampires.  Also Beast apparently thinks that Laura's discovery is overly convenient, which Jean dismisses since she and Synch both verified her identity. It's supposedly showing how dark Beast's heart has gotten, but we all know that he's going to turn out being correct.  Also, Jean and Scott save some Orchis workers from an exploding space station?  As I said, it's a mess.

Also Read:  Moon Knight #19

Six-Month-Old Comics: The January 11 Edition - Part 1 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #17:  OMG, this issue is awful.

On the plus side, the art is great:  McGuiness should draw Limbo demons full-time.  

Unfortunately, the issue also has words.

Ben decides to get Peter to eat the apple by casting him, JJJ, Jr., and Robbie in a work-place comedy set at The Bugle with the demons as the other employees.  I'm not kidding.  I'm not saying it isn't funny, but it goes to this event's  - and series' - main problem, the fact Wells can't decide if it's funny or serious.  

In a great example of that problem and pet peeve #3, Madelyne expresses concern that Ben isn't taking their plans seriously enough.  If he really wants Peter to eat the apple, why not just threaten all his loved ones with death?  But I'm not giving Wells credit for Madelyne pointing out his flaws.

In other words, Wells doesn't really explain why Ben is playing with his food here, and the story suffers for it.

Black Cloak #1:  Holy fucking shit, this issue is the best issue of a comic I've read in a really long time.  

McClaren and Thompson employ restraint to create a totally immersive experience.  McClaren's limited line strokes creates a fully realized reality, and Thompson's equally sparse script underscores the tension between the characters as they're reluctant to say what they feel.

You need to buy this comic now.

The issue's opening text informs us that Kiros is the known world's last city due to a cataclysmic war that happened hundreds of years ago.  The heroes defeated the great evil, but something is rotten in the state of Kiros.  As the unnamed narrator says, it "turns out beings get along better when there's a great evil to be vanquished."

The action begins when a mermaid crawls onto the beach at the Lagoon, spits up some black-looking liquid, and then collapses on the beach.  A group of screeching mermaids stare at her from the water and then throw a dead body next to her before departing.

On Merchant Row, a satyr named Vaissac attacks a black-cloaked elf.  She punches him, as she apparently does every week.  She tells him that they could either get along or ignore each other.  He tells her that he'll never be "good neighbors" with a "fucking Black Cloak." As the elf enters Coffee, Curios & Curiosities, demonic-looking rats attack Vaissac, and the elf uses her...magic gun? to scare them into fleeing.

The elf is Detective Phaedra Essex.  The store's proprietor, Laurel, shows her the prototype of a robotic taka (a cat-like creature) that she bought.  Phaedra is appalled because she was raised with a real taka before they went extinct.  Phaedra then gets a call and heads to the Salty Crow in the Narrows.

A the Crow, a (sexy as fuck) elf with a gold-flecked chest wound is lying naked on a bed.  A pair of cops are on the scene with a detective, and one of the cops, Clem, tells the detective, Pax, that the elf's tattoos use royal ink.  Pax asks Clem if he "netted" the room, and Clem responds that someone named Nina had done so.  Nina apparently didn't have her "soulprint" on her, though so she wasn't able to identify the elf.  Pax has his soulprint on him, but before he can scan the body a photographer appears in the doorway.  Pax tells the other cop, Benny, to control the crime scene and "get that capture."  Pax puts a set of goggles (I assume the soulprint) on the body, but they don't work.

Phaedra enters and identifies the elf as Freyal III of Sidra, the heir to the throne and Phaedra's fiancé at some point.  Pax suddenly yells, "The capture!" and manifests wings before leaping out the window.  Phaedra sends Clem after Pax and spends a moment with Freyal's body, showing a matching tattoo and telling him quietly how much she missed him.

Pax returns and tells Phaedra that Clem has "the capture" and is taking him to the station, though I still don't know what "the capture" is or how or why it escaped.  Pax and Phaedra then discuss how the murderer clearly used a dracona dagger due to the gold-flecked wound.  Phaedra tells Pax that she and Freyal were raised together and were best friends though she hadn't seen him in years.

They discuss how the Crow is a "glorified flophouse above a bar known for prostitution."  They go to the bar to interrogate the bartender, and this scene is a marvelous fantasy version of the Mos Eisley cantina.  Apparently an elf girl named Dace rented the room for the last three cycles, and the bartender confirmed she was with Freyal when he first rented the room to her.  Upon leaving the bar, Phaedra calls someone and asks them to pull out the mermaid the Crow was keeping in a tank.  (She mentions she saw tail rot.  Oof.)

At HQ, the captain exposits that Phaedra is exiled from the elven realms.  The conversation is interrupted when she and Pax are sent to the Lagoon because Nida has identified the dead woman as Dace.  Disturbingly, Phaedra asks why the mermaids didn't eat her, cueing up the enormous chunk of flesh missing from her back.  

Nida (who's a bat-like humanoid) opens the mouth of the dead mermaid next to Dace, causing Pax to panic.  Nida notes the mermaid is dead, but Pax's panic at Nida even touching the body makes you realize we're not dealing with Ariel here.  Nida notes a bit of flesh in the dead mermaid's teeth and the nearby bile, and Phaedra realizes that someone used a strong enough poison on Dace that it can kill a mermaid in one bite.  Based on their interactions, Nida and Phaedra are in a relationship, and they're adorable.

Before Phaedra leaves, Nida tells Phaedra that she's worried about Phaedra seeing her family because of the "old laws."  Phaedra stresses that the Black Cloak "should" protect her, and Nida notes that "should" is a "fucked-up word."  Pax and Phaedra discuss how you usually dump bodies in the Lagoon hoping the mermaids eat them, but the murderer may not have known that someone had already poisoned Dace.  So we may have two people trying to murder her?  

Pax interviews a nearby guard, Jakel, who tells Pax that he wasn't working the previous night.  (Throughout the issue, we see the security surrounding the Lagoon to keep out trespassers.)  Pax asks Jakel to turn down his music, which Jakel suggests is a bad idea.  When Pax insists, he does, and the mermaids immediately start screeching.  Pax allows Jakel to turn on the music again, and, on my second reading, I realized everyone near the water is wearing headphones.  

Jakel tells Pax that someone named Edgar was working the previous night.  He exposits that the guards are under constant surveillance so Edgar wouldn't likely have let someone into the Lagoon for fear of getting fired.  Jakel says that they only way to enter is through a gap where the cliff meets the wall, though it's usually sealed.

On Lookout Point, Phaedra notes that anyone up there could see the whole Lagoon.  She interviews four hooligans and tells them that someone killed a mermaid.  One of the hooligans quips that mermaids kill people, and Phaedra responds that it matters when they all kill each other.  She tells the hooligan who seemed the most cooperative that she might have something to pay in exchange for information, but one of the other hooligans tells her that they're not "wraiths" and don't work with Black Cloaks.  HQ calls Phaedra and tells her that she's clear to go to Castle Kiros.  She leaves while Pax stays at the Lagoon to investigate.

At the castle gates, Phaedra remembers playing with Freyal and the taka, Mister Starlight.  They're using a dracona dagger to cut a "very powerful tree," and we learn dracona daggers have dragon blood in them.  Before she can enter the castle grounds, someone knocks Phaedra unconscious.

In the Queen's private chambers, the Queen apolgizes for the "misunderstanding," and Phaedra comments that someone people have trouble letting go of the old rules.  The Queen notes that Phaedra's black cloak likely precipitated the attack, again making it clear that Black Cloaks aren't welcome.  Phaedra disagrees, saying she believes that it was her brother Hadrian.  

The Queen tells Phaedra she's called for a healer and asks how Freyal died.  Phaedra says that they don't yet know but she asked to see her in the hope that she'd hear about Freyal's death from her and not a stranger.  The Queen archly asks if Phaedra isn't a stranger, because she hasn't seen her in 20 years, and Phaedra parries that her exile wasn't her choice.

The healer, Valorie, enters.  Before the Queen can leave, she asks Phaedra if it occurred to her that Freyal would be alive if Phaedra hadn't been exiled.  (It's an interesting use of the passive voice, there, since the Queen presumably exiled her.  Guilt, your majesty?)  Freyal and Phaedra would've been married, and she'd perhaps have a grandchild "instead of...nothing."  Phaedra tells that it weights heavily on her that three lives were lost, and the Queen is surprised to hear about Dace and the mermaid.  (I'm guessing Phaedra was fishing to see if the Queen recognized Dace's name.)  

The Queen leaves, and Phaedra and Valorie enthusiastically greet each other.  Valorie suggests removing Phaedra's cloak to heal the wound, but Phaedra panics, making it clear the cloak isn't just a cloak.  Valorie heals Phaedra, who says that she feels 20 years younger.  A guard then arrives to escort Phaedra to the Silver Gate.  In the halls, Phaedra sees her mother, but her brother arrives to drag her mother from that "traitorous trash."  Phaedra tells that guard that she knows how to leave, and the guard threatens that her cloak doesn't protect her as much as she thinks it does.

Pax meets her at the gate, and they take an elevator down to the Heights. Pax marvels at the view, and Phaedra tells him that it's a lie curated for royalty.  She notes the elevator doesn't go below the Heights, which means the royals don't even see half of Kiros.  She comments darkly on the forces that don't want the nobility to see the reality that exists in that other half.  

The captain calls them back to HQ, where they encounter more demonic rats, which are apparently called wraiths (explaining the hooligan's comment, since wraith are this world's rats).  At the Department, it's chaos because all sorts of people have arrived to confess to killing Freyal, to carrying his lovechild, to being his lovechild, or to witnessing the murder.

Before Pax and Phaedra can start interviewing them, a kid with a glowing knife murmurs, "For Kiros," and stabs Phaedra before cutting his throat.  We end the issue with Pax holding Phaedra's bloody body.

Beyond the murder mystery itself, we're also in the dark about a lot of dynamics at play here.  Why does everyone hate the Black Cloaks?  It seems the only thing that unifies everyone is that hatred.  Why are the mermaids cannibals?  Did they follow the Great Evil or were they victims of it?  What's a "capture?"

Again, this triple-sized issue is spectacular.  It's worth every moment spent with it.  The art is unbelievable.  Thompson's story is unbelievable.  I'm all fucking in.

Blade Runner 2039 #2:  Ho boy, the chickens are coming home to roost!

Ash takes Lexi, the replicant from last issue, to a desolate place populated with only a trailer.  Ash enters expecting Freysa but sees an unknown man.  She draws a gun before she realizes Freysa is with him.  Ash tells Freysa that she should've told her that they were going to have visitors, and Freysa introduces him as "an old friend from the trenches" named Sapper.  Freysa notes that Ash herself has brought a stranger, and Ash introduces Lexi.  It's clear through their interactions that their relationship is tense.

At LAPD HQ, a bodiless voice coming from the device on Luv's desk is chastising her for her treatment of the officer last issue.  The voice tells her she's confined to HQ but she tells the voice that she's going to Santa Barbara on Niander Wallace, Jr.'s orders and the voice relents.  

At the former Selwyn estate in Santa Barbara, "Ms. Penelope" greets Luv, who marvels at the fresh water coming from the fountain.  Luv notes that Penelope's butler is a Nexus-8 Replicant, and Penelope tells her that she has dispensation from the police to own one.  When Luv tells Penelope that she can sense Nexus-8s, Penelope marvels at the "poetic" nature of Wallace making Replicants to catch Replicants.  

At the trailer, Ash installs one of the eyes in Freysa, and Freysa installs the other one in Ash, since her eye was apparently looking "diseased" like her spine and, lately, her lungs.  Freysa encourages Ash to stay, but Ash tells Freysa that Lexi told her about the Replicant Blade Runner.

At Selwyn's estate, Luv tells Penelope that Wallace thinks Selwyn may have left 

"sensitive material" hidden there.  Penelope knows that Wallace wants Luv to turn the estate upside down looking for what Selwyn knew, but Penelope refuses.  Luv tells Penelope that she doesn't need Penelope's cooperation, and Penelope and her butler kick Luv's ass.  Apparently Luv's ability to detect older Replican models isn't so great, because Penelope reveals herself as Hythe.  

To make matters more interesting, Cleo arrives on Earth!  

This series is playing for keeps, y'all.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #9:  This issue is better than the previous ones but still not good.

The kid who magically knows everything happening in Mohannda tells the adults that the government has bombed the hospital.  Nomad knows that it's a trap, but Cap insists that they go, so they all go.  What, you wouldn't take all the resistance forces to one place where the enemy could easily annihilate them?  Coward.

As the team helps survivors at the hospital, one of them tells Cap that someone evacuated many of the doctors before the attack, but apparently no one thinks it's significant.  Instead, they just rescue the doctors so they can get to work helping the other survivors.  Everyone is surprised when militarized Phrox from Dimension Z appear, no one more than Ian, who notes that they helped Steve raise him.

Sam realizes that they're in trouble since he puts together that the White Wolf has access to Zola tech.  Nightshade suggest that the White Wolf has "some sort of technology conduit" or "maybe a signal transmitter," though I don't get why summoning portals to Dimension Z would require a transmitter.  Anyway, she's confident she can understand Zola's technology.  

Sam leads the Phrox from the hospital but then decides the White Wolf must be keeping the transmitter in the sky because anyone could reach it on the ground.  (Look, I'm just trying to hang in here.)

On said ground, Nightshade declares a strong signal is coming from the Parliament, which is impressive since she's holding a gun and not some sort of signal detector.  But they all decide to head to Parliament.  Sam destroys the sky-based transmitter, but it only disables the portals.  (I'm not sure why they thought the Phrox would disappear simply because the portals were no longer working, but they did.)  

Suddenly, Falcon arrives in full vampire mode and declares that he's going to kill Sam for abandoning him.  I mean, what the fuck?  Last time we saw him, he was asking his grandmother for help and now he's a vampire intent on murdering Sam in Mohannda   What's next?  Is D-Man going to arrive as a zombie mad at Sam for missing poker night?

God, I hate this series.

Know Your Station #2:  We end this issue where we ended the last one:  Elise finds a body (well, two bodies this time), and she's the only person who accessed the room where they were killed, according to St. Brigid.  

It seems pretty clear that St. Brigid is, knowingly or not, assisting the killer in covering their tracks.  Given Elise is detoxing from the Blue, she isn't as sharp as she normally is, making it easier for the killer.  

Beyond the killer's identity, this issue's biggest mystery is where Pritchard's body went, given it disappeared from Elise's tub, where St. Brigid initially stashed it.  

If I had to guess, Marin - who whispers something to Elise that she won't remember since she's detoxing - is in love with Elise and killing her enemies, given Raulsson and his wife are the bodies Elise finds here.  We'll see.

Four-Month-Old Comics: The January 4 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Astronaut Down #5:  We get a pretty anticlimactic ending to the series here, as Douglas does the right thing and sends the transmission to his Earth.  Before he does, he knocks up Maddie, explaining that he caught glimpses of other realities during this travels and in most of them he saw their daughter.  In the transmission, he includes a message about learning how to bridge our divides and forgive each other, which felt more saccharine than we've seen Douglas be.  To that point, we aren't really given a solid reason for Douglas' change of heart, other than maybe feeling like it was OK to die so long as he procreated?  It's unclear.  All in all, it was an interesting series, though more notable for its concept than its execution.

Batman #131:  Zdarsky shows no sign of slowing down here.  In fact, this arc seems poised to exceed his first one in excellence if this issue is any indication.

Bruce awakens in the alley that we saw at the end of last issue.  A couple of punks have stolen his equipment and, notably, don't recognize him; one of them comments that Bruce looks like a "Venomed-up freak."  Bruce realizes that he's in Crime Alley, but something about it feels different.  His proof comes in the form of a skeletal Jim Gordon with the personality of the Joker.  He calls himself "Jimbo" and tells Bruce that they fight crime together!  "Biff!  Bam!  Pow!"

Bruce realizes that he's on a different Earth, one where his brownstone lays abandoned and someone else owns Wayne Tower.  Zdarksy underscores the seriousness of the situation when Bruce says this "Gotham feels...more foreboding.  Darker."  If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will.  

As Bruce quips, it's still Gotham, though, and he follows a scream to an apartment where a Judge Dredd-like "Judge Dent" is terrorizing the residents, asking if they're sane or insane.  Bruce recognizes that it's Harvey and that Harvey and his goons are on Venom.  When Firely (ever the idiot, as Bruce mentions) sets the building on fire in an attempt to get Bruce, Bruce helps a woman escape but Dent nabs him before he can follow her to safety.  Zdarskey does a great job of showing how Bruce is struggling here.  He still hasn't recovered from Failsafe, and a Venomized Dent beats him to a pulp.  He survives only when a street kid saves him via two knives she throws into Dent's face.  

At the girl's dilapidated apartment, she tells Bruce that her name is Julia but everyone calls her Jewel.  Zdarsky shifts pace here as we segue from action to characterization.  Bruce asks where Jewel's parents are and she doesn't respond, leaving the room to get more alcohol for Bruce's wounds.  Bruce realizes that she has the same look of an orphan that he and his raven-haired boys do.  Bruce realizes that he and Batman are dead in this reality, which is why Failsafe sent him here:  his version of compassion was giving Bruce another Gotham to save.

Meanwhile, Selina is running her own operation but responds to a call from the Red Mask, who sends a carrier raven with a photo of Bruce and tells her to bring Bruce to him alive.  I'm not sure who Red Mask is, but, given the torture victims behind him and his Klan-like costume, I don't think he's a nice guy.

In the back-up story, we learn that Tim recognized the gun that Failsafe used on Bruce.    Jon Kent apparently took it from Toyman after Toyman killed himself (I thought Grifter killed him?) and stored it - and all other supervillain weapons he found - in the Fortress of Solitude while his father was in space.  We know that Toyman is alive given the introduction so clearly we're going on a Toyman hunt.

Later, Tim helps Dick take down one of Joker's goons calling himself Cutup.  Dick and Tim discuss how all the low-level goons are making a play based on the rumor that Batman is dead.  (As Tim says, the Banes and the Riddlers know not to believe it.)  Dick suggests Tim let Batman save himself while they save Gotham, which Tim isn't buying.  You'd think Dick would remember how Tim found Bruce the last time he died?  Then again Dick is the pretty one so...  

At any rate, Jon calls Tim from the Fortress and suggests that Toyman may have left some clues when it comes to the gun.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Again, this issue is great, and I'm so fucking happy we're finally getting the type of stories that Batman deserves.

Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty #8:  This issue is dense.

Steve goes into a gas station and calls Aaron Fischer, the Captain America of the Railways, telling him to activate the Captains Network.  It took some Googling to discover that Aaron is one of the heroes introduced in "United States of Captain America." Aaron manages to collect everyone but Black Widow, who Roger says has gone dark, and Hawkeye, who is apparently still in New York.  

Honestly, this entire sequence doesn't make much sense.  Does Aaron have some sort of magical railcar?  Peggy complains about having to ride outside the car, which Nick says made sense since A.I.M. is likely looking for them.  But doesn't it make more sense to ride inside the car where they can't see them?  Also, I don't get why Aaron had to assemble everyone.  Couldn't Steve just have called them all and told them to meet him in Kansas?  To that end, we've not told where the rest of them were during these five days.

At any rate, Steve mentally calls Emma with the code she gave him:  hilariously, it's "Mommy."  Although Peggy refuses to submit to Emma, the rest of the group does and realizes that the Outer Circle used a M.O.D.O.C. (Mental Organism Designed Only for Control) to disappear them for the five days they needed to take over Lower Manhattan.  M.O.D.O.C. also apparently saw into their secrets, which could get interesting down the line.  

Again, though, this sequence has issues.  First, we're not told A.I.M. was somehow able to take down Cap, Peggy Carter, Sharon Carter, Nick Fury, and Redacted.  Sharon discovers a subdermal scar next to her ear, which implies they were attacked and A.I.M. inserted an implant M.O.D.O.C. to use.  But how did A.I.M. manage to take down this group, particularly since Black Widow and Hawkeye were also with them at the time.  Also, why not just kill them?  Also, did A.I.M. really need to take over Lower Manhattan just to get the neganite?  It seems like a lot of effort.

In other words, the authors tried to tell a larger story than this issue could contain.  Honestly, the best part of the issue is when Steve's art-class friends try to find him and run into Amari.  They've all got great chemistry together, and I'd love to see them fight A.I.M. from the inside now that they're captured.

Star Wars #30:  This issue is reminiscent of Gillen's initial run on "Star Wars (2015)," as I can hear the characters speaking in the actors' voices for the first time in a long while.  Amilyn, Lando, and Luke particularly jump off the page.  

The team finds itself in a serious pickle:  they learn that the Kezarat convoy has turned into the Kezarat colony because no one has found a way to escape No-Space in two centuries.  Uh-oh.

At this stage, my only complaint is that the story's flow remains clunky.  I think it's due to the extensive script, which I appreciate narratively but seems better suited to a movie or TV show.  I found myself almost tired of flipping pages at the issue's end, which isn't a good place to find oneself.

Hopefully now that Soule has set up the story it'll move more quickly.

X-Men Red #10:  Oof.  Like other issues this week, this issue has way too many stories happening at once, making it difficult to follow.  Moreover, Ewing leans a little too heavily into the Arakkii way of speaking in riddles, slowing down the pace even further.  If you strip out the verbiage, this issue's overarching theme is that the Arakkii are finally starting to learn how to cooperate.  

Khora uses her powers to amplify Cable's so that he can use his telekinesis to absorb the techo-organic virus Orbis Stellaris has sitting in the lab.  He creates a pretty fucking cool set of armor with it and becomes the Progenitors' focus.  As such, they take their attention off Manifold who works with Lactuca to teleport the Progenitors "all the way outside," which he hypothesizes is where they originated in the first place.

Meanwhile, Lodus Logos, Sobunar, and Wrongslide help Storm defeat Vulcan, encasing him in a mysterium suit until they can figure out his future.

Brand realizes that Roberto paid off Mentallo to relay Xandra's telepathic manipulation of Brand so Brand wouldn't realize Xandra was hiding Storm at the Autumn Palace. (I'm still not sure about this part.  Per my question last issue, I think now that Xandra also manipulated Vulcan to go there so that Storm could finish him, but Ewing doesn't make that clear.)

Roberto, Xandra, and company arrive to confront Brand, but she uses Cable's bodyslide technology to escape.  That said, she arrives at her safehouse to discover the Fisher King waiting for her.  I'm still not sure what the Fisher King's powers are, so I'm not sure what kind of threat he is to Brand.  But he uses her true name (Abigail Thanriaguiaxus, or "Born-as-Axus-Ended") and knew her safehouse's location, so it probably isn't good for her that he calls her an enemy of Arakko.

Underlining my point about how we have too much going on here, the issue ends with the revelation that Orbis Stellaris is somehow Nathan Essex, something Cable also knows after he asked Weaponless Zen (whose power is to draw the truth) to draw his identity.

I'm hoping Ewing uses the end of this arc to focus a little more next issue, because I can't keep all these plots straight much longer.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The December 28 Edition - Part 2 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Miracleman by Gaiman and Buckingham:  The Silver Age #3:  This issue's sub-title should be, "Let's Talk about Sex, Baby."  I mean, no one actually talks about sex.  But the issue is all about Young Miracelman  finding himself surrounded by breasts and dicks.

In his flight from Miracleman, Dickie for some reasons loses consciousness and reverts to his messenger outfit, crash-landing on Mt. Kanchenjunga in the Himalayas.  A hiker named Jason finds him.  Jason is a suspicious character mostly for his lack of curiosity over finding a besuited teenager in the snow in the Himalayas.  He just assumes Dickie set out poorly prepared like he did as a kid.  Conveniently, he has an extra thermal suit he lends Dicky.

Jason is apparently going to see Tom Caxton, a.k.a. Mister Master.  We learn that Caxton was the first enhanced human Miracelman created but he eventually retired to Mt. Kanchenjunga.  Jason tells Dicky that he was close to the top of the enhancement list but pulled his name from consideration, which is why he wants to talk to Caxton.  Just as Jason complains about losing time (presumably due to helping Dicky), two enhanced humans on a flying motorcycle appear and offer to bring them to the lodge up the mountain.  The woman introduces herself as Meta-Maid and the man as Deadlock the Demolisher.  Dicky sits behind Meta-Maid on the bike, and she not subtly at all places his hands on her breasts.

That night, Jason (wearing a Kimota! t-shirt) reads from Caxton's book, which is essentially a screed against enhancement.  Meta-Maid invites Dicky to sleep with her, but he declines, as does Jason.  For the second time in the issue, Johnny Bates approaches Dicky in his sleep.  Dickie awakens from the nightmare to find a buff and naked Jason crouched at the foot of his bed asking if he's OK.  Something about Jason's nudity implies Jason's interest in Dicky might not be platonic.  (In Buckingham's original sketches including in the issue's back matter, we see Jason from behind, his naked ass prominent, which means Dicky is looking straight at his junk.)

The next morning, Jason and Dicky depart for Caxton's abode, and Jason tells an odd story about how he once met Miracleman as a kid because he was chosen to have a conversation with him.  It was staged as a play and later a movie, and Jason confesses that he doesn't remember what Miracleman actually said to Jason.  Shortly thereafter, Meta-Maid appears, having dumped Deadlock (who admittedly seemed dull).  They all arrive at Caxton's together.  

That night, Meta-Maid tells the story about how her boyfriend left her for Kay after the Young Miracelman parade.  (She implies her boyfriend will change into something after sex with Kay, which is interesting.)  Deadlock offered her a ride to see the Himalayas, which is how we came to meet them.

For his part, Caxton tells the story of becoming the first enhanced human, a chance he won in a lottery.  Interestingly, he says Miracleman originally thought everyone would become enhanced, so something clearly happened to disrupt those plans.  Jason asks why Caxton decided to give up his enhancements, and Caxton says that he forgot what it was like to be a human.  He eventually climbs Olympus and asks Miracelman to turn him into a human again.  Miracleman asks Caxton if the project failed, and Caxton replies that he didn't think it did:  he just came through it.  Now, he's simply Tom Caxton again.  

Jason tells Caxton that he'd answered most of his questions.  When it's time for bed, Caxton has Jason come with him to get the sleeping bags and asks Jason if he's looking after Dicky.  Jason says he is, and Caxton tells him to take care of him because he needs it.  I wonder if Caxton knows Dicky is Young Miracelman?

Later that night, Johnny appears to Dicky again, but Dicky banishes him.

As I said at the top, this issue reads as hypersexualized, a vibe that Gaiman and Buckingham use to highlight Dicky's profound innocence in this new world.  Jason's rugged handsomeness and humanity stand in contrast to Miracelman's perfection and visual blandness.  In fact, Jason's attractiveness also stands in contrast to Meta-Maid's sexuality.  If Dicky realizes Jason might want to fuck him, it would likely scare him less than if Meta-Maid wanted to fuck him.  

It all just seems like it's going to be too much for Dicky.

Star Wars:  Han Solo and Chewbacca #8:  I don't know how he does it, but Guggenheim writes Phaedra in a way that makes me totally believe in her ability to smuggle Han and Chewie into Grand Moff Tarkin's office to steal the urn.   

The issue stars with the trio shaking down Greedo in Mos Eisley.  He tells them that Khel and her crew, Han's "dad" (i.e., Corbus Tyra), and he all went their separate ways after the last job.  When Han asks about the urn, Greedo confirms that the Imperials picked up the urn when they scanned the Falcon and that it's in Tarkin's office on Coruscant.

Han reasonably assumes that it's unreachable, but Phaedra has a plan.  Said pain relies on a mysterious person (or persons) owing Phaedra not one, but two, favors.  Favor #1 involves said person (or persons) getting the trio hired as "waste-disposal personnel" because the Empire apparently doesn't do background checks on the people who keep the sewers working.  Favor #2 involves said person (or persons) getting Phaedra the "full schematics for the sewer network and the Grand Moff's building."  They're definitely convenient favors.  But something about Phaedra makes you believe that said person (or persons) really does owe her these favors.

Of course, it isn't all smooth sailing for the trio, and I don't just mean Chewie falling off the roof of the train that serves as their get-away car.   As they're going to work on Coruscant, Marshal Vancto tracks down Tyra who offers him Han's location (since he knows Han would go after the urn) in exchange for his freedom.  Honestly, I almost think Corbus is Han's dad...

Also Read:  Moon Knight #18; X-Terminators #4; Star Wars:  Yoda #2