Amazing Spider-Man #657: "Torch Song"

** (two of five stars)

Favorite Quote:  "Susan Storm!  Don't you dare!  I command you to --"  -- the Wizard to the Invisible Girl, as she's about to turn his pants invisible 

Summary

In a nod to "Amazing Spider-Man" #1, Spidey enters the Baxter Building only to be trapped in a security tube.  The remaining members of the Fantastic Four spring him, and he apologizes for missing Johnny's funeral service, telling them that he'd been to too many funerals lately.  In the kitchen, Peter tells the remaining Fantastic Four members that, more than anybody else, Johnny was like a brother to him.  The Thing says he felt the same, recalling the first time he realized how close Johnny and Peter were.  It was during a battle against Krakatoom in upstate New York.  After the battle, Reed notes that Krakatoom may have just dispersed, so they should stay in the area for a while.  Sue invites Spidey to join them, and antics ensue between Johnny and Peter. The Thing, who was initially worried that Spidey would get underfoot like the Torch, gets to relax and enjoy his vacation...until he feels a little lonely and goes searching for the boys, who rig up a mud-and-webbing version of Krakatoom to scare him.  In the present, the Thing reminds Peter that you don't have to be related to be part of the family, telling him that, if he needs a brother, he's got one in him.  Sue tells him to think of her as his big sister, which Peter says he always had, except for one time.  In a flashback, we see Johnny, Spidey, and Sue searching for the Frightful Four, and Spidey pants Johnny (who's sidetracked the search to sign autographs from adoring teenage girls).  At that moment, the Beetle, Trapster, and the Wizard attack, and Johnny is delayed in fighting while he tries to put on his pants.  It gives Sue an idea, and she turns the super-villains' pants invisible, leaving them in their underwear.  The trio wrap up the fight pretty quickly, but the police also arrest the Invisible Girl for indecent exposure, forcing Johnny and Spidey to post bail for her release.  They faux-lecture her about responsibility, and she makes them promise never to tell anyone about it ever.  In the present, Reed notes that Ben, Johnny, and Sue are all seen by Peter as siblings and asks if he views Reed as a father figure.  Peter says no, he's the coolest of them all, because he's Mr. Adventure!  Reed remembers a mission with Johnny and Spidey where they were launching his new faster-than-light skiff.  On the mission, they observe a green star (later dubbed by Reed the "Banner nova") that is in the process of going supernova.  While Johnny absorbs the energy coming from the star, Reed and Spidey try to fix the skiff, dismissing Johnny's attempts to help.  Johnny eventually shouts out the fact that it sounds like the engine was flooded, which it was, and they safely escape the exploding star.  While Johnny is outside the skiff releasing his pent-up energy, Spidey tells Reed that Johnny's actually a "really bright guy."  Back in the present, Peter regrets that he never told Johnny that, and Reed tells him that Johnny left a holodisc recording for him in case he ever died.  (All the Fantastic Four had recorded them for each other, but Johnny also added one for Pete.)  In the recording, Johnny tells Pete that he's sorry for leaving him, because he knows how Pete feels about losing family.  He tells him he's always been family, that the Fantastic Four all love him, and that he's giving him the most important thing he ever owned:  his place on the team. 

The Review

This issue isn't terrible, but it's kind of weird.  The three stories -- the upstate New York camping trip, the Invisible Girl getting arrested, and the outer space adventure -- don't really give us any great insight into Pete's relationship with the Fantastic Four, which was clearly the point of this issue.  After such mostly silly stories, the last scene -- Johnny giving Pete his role on the team -- isn't quite as poignant as it was intended to be.  Obviously, you'd have Johnny and Pete ribbing one another, but we could've also seen moments like the one during "Big Time," where Johnny tells Pete that he's just as smart as Reed and Stark and needs to get into the discussion of how to diffuse Doc Ock's bomb.  However, after a largely one-note presentation of Johnny and Pete's relationship, the emotional reveal at the end falls flat. 

The Good

The outer space adventure was the best one, since it struck me as the most realistic depiction of Spidey's relationship with members of the Fantastic Four -- Johnny and Reed.  It wasn't exactly thrilling, but it was the most believable. 

The Bad

1) Why, exactly, was Spider-Man with the Fantastic Four in upstate New York?  When Krakatoom appeared, did they invite him to join in the fight?  Also, why did grounding Krakatoom result in his shield failing?  I'm not a physics kind of guy, but it didn't really make sense to me.

2) I'm impressed the Fantastic Four tent has a toilet bowl and toilet paper (not to mention paper umbrellas for tropical drinks!).  Talk about roughing it!

3) The Invisible Girl story was pretty stupid.  Really?  She turned their pants invisible?  Plus, the art is pretty terrible.  Johnny Storm often looks so stretchy that I was wondering if Nuno Plati hadn't confused him with Mr. Fantastic.

4) When exactly was Reed going to tell Peter about Johnny's holodisc message?  He announces its existence pretty nonchalantly, given how important it was to Pete (and Sue, who notes it's the last thing she'll ever hear Johnny say).  I think it's part of the reason the issue fell flat to me.  If Peter hadn't dropped by the Baxter Building, would Reed never have told him about it?  Did Peter have to prove he was grief-stricken just for Reed to decide, "Oh, what the heck, I'll let him see it?"  Weird.