Dungeons & Dragons: Forgotten Realms #5

I tried.  Seriously, I really, really tried.  I tried to piece together the story that Greenwood was telling, but, at the end of the day, I just couldn't be expected to put more effort into it than Greenwood obviously did.

In my review of the last issue, I tried to piece together what we knew and didn't know.  I'm going to work off those points now, since I think it'll show how little progress we actually made in this issue.  Then, I'm going to address my real issue with this issue.

Unknown #1:  Last issue, I noted that we didn't know the details of the original kidnapping, the one that Talandra herself arranged.  We don't get an answer to that question here.  In fact, Greenwood makes it more complicated by revealing that Talandra arranged the kidnapping to escape her family.  I initially bought that justification, but, upon reflection, it makes no sense.  First, her bodyguard helped arrange the kidnapping, but, since he was also her lover, it doesn't seem likely that he'd be so willing to arrange for her to escape Waterdeep without him.  Second, if she just wanted to escape Waterdeep, it seems like something that she could've accomplished without arranging a fake kidnapping.  As such, we not only don't get a resolution to this question of how she wanted to be kidnapped, we also still don't really have a believable reason why she wanted to be kidnapped.

Unknown #2:  We never learn why Glasgerd wanted Talandra killed in the Ghost Holds and not in Waterdeep.  In fact, I'm not entirely sure I understand why Glasgerd wanted her killed at all, other than some general desire to bring about the fall of the House of Roaringhorn.

Unknown #3/New Plot:  Here, we learn that the shape-shifter is Awngryth, the guy in pursuit of the "moondar" (see "New Plot" from my review of last issue).  However, this revelation complicates things when it comes to the shape-shifter and his role in this story.  First, I'm still not sure if the shape-shifter is the same person as the robed figure who previously briefed Glasgerd on Malric's progress in issue #2.  As such, I'm still not really sure whether Glasgerd and the shape-shifter are working together or separately.  Moreover, I'm not really sure now what the shape-shifter, if he is Awngryth, wants to achieve.  Originally, he simply wanted to help Malric kill off House Roaringhorn so that he could eventually kill Malric and take his place at the head of the family.  Here, however, he seems less motivated by killing Talandra than he does by finding Randral and Torn, since one of them allegedly possesses the moondar.  Is it why he got Randral and Torn involved in the kidnapping in the first place in issue #1?  So he could kill two birds with one stone?  I'd actually buy that argument, but, since Greenwood doesn't actually make it, I could be imposing more logic on the story than actually exists.  Plus, why bother?  Couldn't he have sensed the moondar when he ran into them in issue #1?  Why bother piggy-backing on Glasgerd's plan if he could've just achieved his goal on his own in an alley in Waterdeep?
 
Unknown #4:  We also never really know why Malric dispatched the mercenaries after Talandra last issue.  Did he, or did he not, trust Maurit to handle the job?

Finally, I was left stunned by the sloppiness of the final twist of this series, the decision by the three "heroes" to throw in their lot together and not return to Waterdeep.  First, Greenwood never addresses the main problem with this decision, namely the fact that Randral and Torn are still cursed until they bring Talandra to House Roaringhorn.  Since Greenwood does nothing to show any real affection between the duo and Talandra, or, at least, enough affection for the duo to decide to spend the rest of their lives cursed, it seems unbelievable that they wouldn't even discuss this wrinkle to the deal.  But, more to the point, since that affection is completely lacking, it's unbelievable that they'd even make the deal in the first place.  Instead, Greenwood has Randral and Talandra just suddenly declare how awesome the other is, despite the fact that we haven't really seen any reason for why they'd feel that way.  Sure, Talandra killed snake-guy to save Randral.  But, considering that Randral was only being threatened by snake-guy because he was helping her escape her kidnappers, it seems the least that she could do.  Sure, Randral was helping Talandra.  But, considering that he was only doing so because he was cursed, I'm not entirely sure how much Talandra should trust him. But, instead, everyone just decides the other person is super keen and they all leap through a portal to the "Border Lands."  Who needs character development, when you have magic portals!

Speaking of the portal, why, oh, why, would Oljak help them escape the Ghost Holds in the first place?  Isn't he helping Awngryth in his plan to kill Malric so that he can secure the treasury of House Roaringhorn?  Wouldn't he want to kill Talandra to arrange just that?  Greenwood leaves several other plot points unresolved beyond the ones mentioned here.  Just to name two, we never discover what happened to Talandra's brother and we don't learn whether Lord and Lady Roaringhorn discover Malric's treachery.

At the end of the day, you may ask why I care.  Why would I write this long post, given that few people (if anyone) is likely to read it?  Why bother?  In the end, I bother because I really hate bad fantasy.  I had the idea that authors can just phone in fantasy because it's fantasy.  It's like the "Simpsons" episode where Lucy Lawless tells a group of fans at a convention that, anytime that they notice a continuity error on the show, "a wizard did it."  This comment, while hilarious, is exactly the problem with "Dungeons & Dragons:  Forgotten Realms."  Greenwood confuses bad writing with intriguing plots.  Sometimes, bad writing is just bad writing.  Unfortunately, it's all too common in fantasy writing, where authors spend more time describing the magic system that they invented than getting us to care about the actual characters.

At the end of the day, I still can't believe that I lost Fell's Five for Greenwood's Three.  It seems to me that the switch shows everything wrong with fantasy writing and comic books right now.  At the very least, if I can't have the former, I no longer have to suffer the latter.