Spider-Man and the X-Men #1 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Let's just say, before I even finished this issue, I canceled my digital description.  That right there tells you all that you need to know about this series.

I have no idea what Kalan is doing here.  First, Spidey has known Storm for years and she suddenly decides that she hates him?  Plus, her hatred of him is based on him being "a publicly derided maniac wanted by the police and federal authorities?"  Jesus fucking Christ.  It's not even remotely believable.  She's a goddamn X-Man and she's going to hate someone based on the fact that the public and the authorities don't like him?  Kalan falls onto the pet peeve #3 defense here, with Spidey observing how bizarre it is that the X-Men are so fearful and hate-filled despite the fact that they live in a world that hates and fears them.  As I've said countless times, using a character to point out an obvious plot hole doesn't excuse the presence of said plot hole in the first place.  Moreover, Storm, she of essentially magical intuition and patience, can't see that the original teenage superhero might help her class of wayward teenage superheroes?  (I mean, we don't even mention that the Avengers already went this route with Spidey when he taught for the Avengers Academy kids.  I'd look up the issues of "Amazing Spider-Man" where it happened as a reference, but doing so would involve putting too much effort into this series.)  Plus, Kalan doesn't seem to be aware that Peter Parker fucking taught high school for a while.  Sure, it's not like he's collecting a desk clock for 20 years of molding young minds at Midtown High, but his panic over teaching in this issue makes no sense.

These are just the issues I have with the series in just the first FIVE PAGES.  I could continue describing the ridiculousness of the conceit of this series, that Logan believes that Peter could magically feret out a traitor that the cavalcade of telepaths at the Jean Grey School couldn't find, but I think you get the picture.  Save your money.

(zero of five stars)