Not-So-New Comics: The August 16 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

X-Men:  Blue #9:  This series just gets more and more confusing.  On the plus side, I buy the idea Magneto sent Briar (whoever the fuck she is), Danger, and Polaris to watch over the X-Men during their assault on Emma's mutant nation.  I also buy them acting as the X-Men's teachers now that they survived said assault.  (Is Briar qualified enough to be a teacher?)  But, other parts of this issue make no sense.  Alex is now fully “evil:”  Polaris declares he’s too far gone for her to save.  But, she also says she’s not giving up hope in saving him.  Which one is it?  Is he too far gone, or is he still savable?  Also, we learn the White Queen and Alex are working with Miss Sinister and Bastion on some sort of project called “Mothervine,” which just seems totally unbelievable.  The Goblin Queen?  Sure, I get Alex going down that (sexy, sexy) road again.  But, Miss Sinister and Bastion?  Not so much.  Also, do we have any idea who Xorn really is?  I feel like Bunn just continues to throw these  non sequiturs at us, from Briar to Mothervine to Xorn.  I just dont' get it.

Astonishing X-Men #2:  Soule is playing a long game here, so I'm definitely happy to give him time to tell his story.  But, I wold say I'm not buying the stakes of the "game" Professor X is playing with the Shadow King, where he gets to kill the X-Men if he wins (rather than the Shadow King getting to possess them).  Soule clearly has something up his sleeve but, at this point, it's hard not to roll your eyes at any plot that threatens the X-Men's death.

Spider-Men II #2:  Man, this issue is terrible.  First, Bendis portrays Peter as some sort of brain-injury victim incapable of speaking without quipping.  You get used to a fair amount of inappropriately timed quipping when you read Spider-Man comics, but Bendis takes it too far here.  Second, we have all sorts of weird assertions about timing that make no sense.  At one point, Peter says he’s “sort of” three years older than Miles.  If you’re going to say, “But, Miles is in high school!,” Bendis apparently disagrees with you:  Peter makes fun of him for carrying a backpack because he’s too old to do so, and a girl he likes asks him if the person calling him is his wife, as if you normally ask high-school students that.  Notably, this later conversation happens on the Brooklyn Visions Academy campus, making it make even less sense.  I just don’t get it at all.  Bad script + unrealistic plot = terrible issue.

Also Read:  Generation X #5; Mighty Thor #22; Star Wars #34; U.S.Avengers #9