Not-So-New Comics: The November 15 DC, Image, and Valiant Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dark Nights:  The Batman Who Laughs #1:  Not surprisingly, this issue is grim.  The Batman Who Laughs is created when Bruce finally snaps and kills Joker.  He does so after Joker not only dissolves Commissioner Gordon in acid but seems to have his minions lining up families so he can kill the parents in front of their children and Batman.  (This part is inspired in its evilness.)  But, Bruce doesn't go to the dark side just because he killed Joker.  Joker brilliantly has a toxin release the moment he dies, and it slowly but surely rewrites Bruce's brain patters so his moral code is in line with Joker's.  Before he dies, Joker tells Batman it was time for them to evolve together.  You'd think the darkest moment would be when Bruce tricked Barbara, Dick, Jason, and Tim into the Batcave's training room so he could kill them all.  This moment is chilling, and Tynion builds to it well.  Bruce confesses to the four of them the virus has him in its grips, and they think Bruce is telling them he wants them to kill him.  Instead, he reveals he needed them distracted while the virus took full control of him, since they would've noticed the change had they not been distraught.  He then shoots them with automatic weapons.  (Did I mention this issue is grim?)  But, no, the darkest moment is when Bruce infects Clark and Jon with black Kryptonite so they are driven to rip apart Lois.  Yup.  Every terrible device is a perfectly constructed nightmare for each character, showing how well Tynion really understands them.  The only mystery we're left pondering is who the figure wrapped in bandages is; Bruce has been narrating the story to him.  Presumably we'll learn more in "Dark Nights:  Metal."

Justice League #33 ("Bats Out of Hell" #4):  This issue reads like a bad after-school special.  Cyborg and the Justice League spout a never-ending series of clichéd sports metaphors to cover up the fact the plot makes no sense.  We learned in a previous issue that Cyborg’s Mother Box is comprised of “Element X,” apparently the holy grail of all these metals and something the Batman Who Laughs needs to achieve his goals.  (It seems to be distinct from Nth metal, but I'm not entirely sure.)  The Mother Box itself asks Victor to surrender to it completely so it can take out the Dark Knights, but Victor refuses, deciding to hold onto his humanity.  He does so partly because Raven encourages him to do so telepathically, but I honestly have no idea when she appeared on the board.  Is she even a character in the DCnU?  No idea.  The script here is so cheesy you actually find yourself wishing he’d have surrendered.  I’d rather endless “pings.”  At any rate, this new Victor (“Cyborg One Million, baby!”) is apparently connected to the Multiverse and he now can do anything, like free the Justice League.  They then free Dr. Fate, Deathstroke, and Mister Terrific, who were apparently also captured when the Justice League was in "Flash" #33 (though I don’t think that was made clear at the time).  Everyone then makes a tactical retreat, and the original teams resume their missions to collect the Nth metal while Victor takes Flash and Raven on a “Hail Mary” pass mission.  In other words, we end exactly where we started this mini-series, except for Victor being free.  This issue is really the only miss in “Dark Nights:  Metal” so far, but, man, it is seriously a miss.

Batman #35:  If there's a moment that encapsulates Batman's relationship with Talia, it's her crawling to him to tell him she like Catwoman after Catwoman stabbed her in the back with a sword.  Catwoman and Talia may fight over Batman in this issue, but it's not by any stretch of the imagination a stereotypical catfight.  They might be using swords, but they're actually having a conversation.  Talia tells Catwoman the story of how harsh her father was in raising her, giving her a sword the day she took her first steps, and Catwoman tells Talia she never met her father, so no one ever gave her anything.  Talia tells Catwoman Bruce is her (Talia's) only equal, and Catwoman laughs at the pedestal on which Talia has placed Bruce.  She shows her unique insight into him by telling Talia he is broken and cracked.  Moreover, he's obsessed with a childish vow he'll put above all other vows, including the one he eventually makes to her.  But, she loves him, so she's stuck with that.  Talia really legitimately accepts that.  King and Jones really make that clear.  Talia realizes she not only doesn't see him the same way Selina does but also that Selina probably sees him more clearly.  She basically gives them her blessing.  Selina manages to defeat her and makes her way to Holly, asking her (and not demanding from her) that she return to Gotham and confess that she murdered 237 people so Selina can be happy.  Meanwhile, Dick and Damian sit vigil outside Khadym, and Dick correctly posits that Bruce wants to be happy, but that requires asking something of someone and it's hard for him to do that.  By the time Bruce and Selina meet the boys outside Khadym, the Batfamily really feels like a family.  Jason and Tim aren't Dick and Damian.  Bruce's sons are essentially picking up their father and step-mother from the airport after their honeymoon and, man, am excited.

Bloodshot Salvation #3:  Lemire has always been a guy with a plan, and he proves that again here.  Project Omen comes online and deactivates all operating nanites just as Bloodshot is ready to kill Daddy; he suddenly becomes human again, and Daddy sees it as divine intervention.  However, we know this “turn-off” period doesn’t last, since Soviet Man and Viet Man save Magic and her daughter from Rampage in the present.  They then take her to a woman named Punk Mambo who connects her with Ray’s consciousness.  It turns out he’s not dead, as everyone thought:  he’s stuck in 4002.  It's obviously unclear how he goes from seemingly getting beaten to death on Daddy's farm to physically transported to 4002, but I’m sure Lemire will get there.  In the meantime, he’s keeping us guessing as he always does.  I shook my head as Daddy proclaimed God had saved him from Bloodshot and set his followers on him, a brilliantly timed moment Lemire has clearly been planning from the start.  Jeff Lemire, everyone.

The Realm #3:  Jesus, every time you think this issue can’t get darker, it does.  First, the most interesting part of the story is our various groups all seem to be converging on the same spot.  The teenager from last issue, Eli, leads the group to safety on the surface, and Will and Molly debate whether they can trust him as they search the area for “locals.”  At camp, David plays with some glowing rocks, which seems to imply he has some magical powers.  Meanwhile, the bearded warrior from the last two issues attacks the goblins who survived chasing the party underground.  (The creature that appeared at the end of last issue attacked them just as they were close to catching Will and company.)  Will and Molly find the kid who awoke in the ring of fire last issue, and we learn he’s been on his own for weeks.  He’s then hit full in the chest with a spear.  It looks grim, but the cover for next issue shows him stitching up his own chest so...maybe it's not.  The only group that doesn’t seem to be converging on this spot is the team of orcs Eldritch “helps” in their fight against an unknown enemy.  The lead orc, Redjaw, dismisses his assistance (he threw some spells from his dragon) and later complains to his human lover that Eldritch has found favor with their master.  Based on these comments and the goblins’ chatter at camp before the bearded guy attacks, it’s clear the mystical forces that came to Earth follow not only the same master but also the same religious beliefs.  At any rate, the authors seem to be building to a major conflict as everyone makes first contact.  It's early for them to kill off everyone, so we'll see how that goes.

The Wild Storm #9:  We continue to get more information about Marlowe's home world in this issue.  We learn it was hierarchical:  the more syllables in your name, the less important you were.  John had eight syllables with a “u” sound in the middle, meaning he was an individual of no particular value; Kenesha had three syllables in her name, making her an exalted servant of the ruling class; and someone called “Emp” (“one syllable, ruling class”) was the head of their expedition.  At some point in long-ago Japan, John had to kill a bunch of samurai to retrieve an important artifact, “the old technology” Emp apparently kept under his bed.  (Said item appears on one of the work benches in the shop Marlowe prepared for Angie.)  Meanwhile, at IO, Ivana makes Miles aware Jackie’s “air gapped red team with event shielding” exercise is happening, and, under questioning from Miles, Jackie confesses she’s securely trying to see if she can extract data from Skywatch station.  Miles warns her not to do anything without his authorization.  They also discuss something called Project Thunderbook, a “Directors Eyes Only” exercise the previous director, John Lynch, ran that was so secretive a dozen people killed themselves the week after he quit and three buildings mysteriously caught fire.  Even Miles doesn’t know what it was, but Jackie informs him Cash was part of it.  Also, Jackie’s assistant Mitch previously made Jackie aware John (but known to them as third-party contractor “Wilson Flowers”) escaped Hightower.  Mitch isn’t too bright, because he uses all sorts of location-tracking software despite Jackie telling him not to do so.  It probably means Zealot is going to kidnap him next issue after Skywatch ordered her to keep a closer eye on IO.  As I frequently say about this series, curiouser and curiouser.

Also Read:  Nightwing #33