Not-Very-New Comics: The November 7 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman #58:  I admit I skipped the lengthy poem King uses to build suspense here as Penguin’s hitman allegedly prepares to assassinate Alfred on Bane’s orders.  I’m glad Penguin ultimately pulled the punch, so to speak, because it would be beyond ridiculous for Alfred and Dick to get shot in the same way in such quick succession.  But, it’s exactly that ridiculousness that robs this issue of any suspense, poem or no poem.  Either Alfred isn’t going to be shot (as we expect if we’re paying attention) or he’s going to be shot (and we’ll roll our eyes).  Either outcome feels tired.  It’s much more interesting that Bane and Penguin seems to be behind the murders they apparently tried to pin on Mr. Freeze.  I’m not sure where King is going on this front, but that’s the interesting part of this issue.

Infinity Wars #5:  I’ll admit, I lost the plot here long ago.  As Gamora herself says, I can’t quite remember how Loki managed to break out his version of the Infinity Watch from the Soul Gem.  I also don’t understand how Gamora “accidentally” created new lifeforms when she folded the Universe in half.  I thought the whole point was to send the existing lifeforms (if merged beings created from two previous lifeforms) to the Soul Gem so Devondra could devour them.  Right?  Or is Loki referring to other new lifeforms beyond the merged beings. maybe ones we've yet to see?  It’s unclear.  At this point, the entire point of this series seems to be Loki using these new Infinity Stones to storm the God Quarry, with its seemingly infinite number of Infinity Stones and, importantly, brooding Celestials.  Do the Celestials live in the God Quarry?  Is that why it seems to be a one-way street?  I guess all will be revealed next issue.  That said, I wonder if anyone is reading this "event" other than me.

Shatterstar #2:  This issue is great, though Seeley is very talky here.  The series' omniscient narrator gives us livestream commentary of the events occurring in Shatterstar’s life, though we're not privy to his actual thoughts.  Like, we learn he fell in love with Gringlave (sp?) when they fought in Mojo's arena together and she taught him not to love anyone since it could be used against him.  It’s why he’s struggling with his relationship with Rictor, as we see when Seeley uses their vacations to a cabin in Michigan to show just how much he does love him.  But, this narration doesn’t really give us too much insight into what Shatterstar himself is thinking.  That said, Seeley is achieving his seeming goal of given us a sense of Shatterstar as a coherent and integrated character, as the narrator does a good job of laying out his feelings and motivations.  But, I find myself wishing he accomplished that same goal through show not tell.  Instead, it seems clear he’s rushing to hit the points he needs to hit before he gets to the fifth issue, which feels like a shame.  For example, we’re only quickly shown Star falling in love with Gringlave (sp?), whereas Seeley could’ve definitely used more pages of flashbacks to make that love unfold more fully before our eyes.  Does he love her just because she’s there and he’s never loved anyone before, never felt anything for anyone before?  Or, is there something about her in particular he loves?  Seeley never actually takes us there, and it’s what’s keeping this series from being as revelatory in terms of characterization as something like “Edge of Spider-Verse” #2.  He still has time, though, so I'm hoping for more show and less tell soon.  If he does that, Shatterstar is really his character, more so than Liefeld's or David's.

X-Men:  Red #10:  Taylor continues to do a great job of showing Jean as a tactician.  Every time Cassandra puts a piece in play, Jean has a counterattack that leaves her (Cassandra) in worse place.  In this issue, Cassandra hijacks several planes and a Korean helicarrier to build an army she telepathically controls.  So, Jean brings in Atlantis and the Avengers.  But Cassandra might use her powers to take control of them!  So, Jean has Tony Stark makes hundreds of duplicates of Magneto’s helmet to cut off Cassandra's advantage.  (She had some help on the inspiration front:  Honey Badger asks her what would work against her.)  But, something still feels missing in this series.  I think it's that Jean never really faces a challenge she can’t master.  She’s got Trinary, she’s got Atlantis, she’s got the Avengers:  she’s always able to overpower Cassandra.  She also doesn’t seem all that emotionally invested.  We never really see her face any doubt; she’s always just convinced she’s going to do the right thing and the public will see through Cassandra's manipulations.  It’s not a fatal flaw, but I feel like this series is going to be a missed opportunity, a low-stakes enterprise where the X-Men easily save the day with the help of their friends.  It could've been more.

Also Read:  Death Orb #2; Iceman #3; Nightwing #52; Spider-geddon #3; Star Wars #56

Not-Very-New Comics: The October 31 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman Secret Files #1:  I don't exactly understand why we got this one-shot, but I can't say I'm disappointed, because it's really quite good.  Every story here is a solid one that goes somewhere unexpected.  Given how many comics I've read in my day, even one story going somewhere I didn't expect is saying a lot.  In fact, each story left me wanting more, because each author leaves Bruce stumped at the end.  He's unsure if he needs superpowers, he can't cure one of the Scarecrow's victims of his fear, he doesn't know how to prevent Wayne Enterprises' technology from falling into the wrong hands, he panics when he's on his own:  the Batman we see across these stories is one not entirely sure how to engage with the world around him.  I particularly wanted more time with Yeselle and Detective Chimp as they both force Bruce to confront his flaws in a way he normally doesn't.  All in all, it's a really solid outing.

Extermination #4:  Brisson really cranks up the pressure here.  We learn Ahab is in his past (our present) because he wants to kill one of the younger X-Men so s/he can’t safely return to his/her past, thus destroying their timeline.  We also learn young Nate killed Cable because his older self's sentimentality meant he allowed the kids to stay in the present, when he should’ve been doing everything he could to send them back to the past.  Young Nate (it's like he's a rapper) has taken on that burden himself, undoing the changes to the X-Men — like Angel’s cosmic wings — so they can return as Hank originally found them.  (Yes, it's super Nateus ex machina, but I actually didn't mind too much.)  But, Ahab surprisingly succeeds here, killing young Scott and making me legitimately wonder where we go from here.  The fact the timeline still exists implies Scott somehow survives and returns, but I’m intrigued how Brisson pulls that rabbit from his hat.  After all, Scott takes a spear to the chest here.  It's hard to write around that.

Marvel 2-in-One #11:  My problem with the Fantastic Four has always been that Reed is an arrogant asshole and I can't understand why anyone would love and trust him.  Although I don't think he intended to do so, Zdarsky proves that in this issue.  Reed brings Ben with him to retrieve the Thinker from the planet where they left him, and Ben confronts Reed about letting him and Johnny think they were dead.  At first, Reed claims he did so because he thought Ben and Johnny would be bored of all the science-ing, because he's apparently such a fucking idiot that he thought traversing the Universe as explorers wouldn't put him and his family in danger.  Ben doesn't buy it, particularly given the fact Reed could've just told them they were go exploring and wanted to do so on their own.  Dodging the issue, Reed then introduces Ben to an alternate Universe Doom who Reed befriended in their travels.  In this Universe, Reed is dead, and Doom is a mostly good guy.  Reed now says he let Ben and Johnny think he was dead because he thought that it would somehow enable them to save our Doom.  But, Reed is forced to admit even this "good" Doom is "Doom-y."  Ben chastises him for his belief he could fix everything and encourages him to trust his friends and family.  But, the whispered conversation Reed has with Doom at the end makes it clear he's not listening.  I'm pretty happy with my decision to stay with this title and the main title just through the wedding, but I'm also glad Zdarsky isn't letting Reed off the hook here.

Multiple Man #5:  This issue makes a certain amount of sense if you don’t think about it too hard.  Like, I’m pretty sure Rosenberg established one of the dupes sent into the future never returned, as we see at the end of this issue, but maybe he didn't.  It also makes a certain amount of sense that “our” Jamie becomes Emperor Jamie, that they're not two separate people.  But, it also doesn’t matter.  At some point, you just have to meet Rosenberg on his own terms and accept he’s telling a crazy Madrox story.  As other people have said, it wasn’t the Madrox story I wanted, but it’s the one we deserved.

The Realm #10:  Haun and Peck do a spectacular job evoking the ambiance of a good ol' fashioned dungeon crawl.  In the tension-driven plot, the goblins' master is surprised Will is able to hold even the fraction of the mysterious creature's power that he possesses.  He brings forth an amulet that severs Will's link to said creature and plans to dissect Will to learn more.  But, the issue's best parts are with Molly and the crew slowly but surely making their way through the dungeon.  For example, the room they entered at the end of last issue wasn't the room where Will was being held; it was a wizard's laboratory.  The team takes advantage of the moment and swipes all sorts of books, magical items, and scrolls for David to use later.  In perhaps the best sequence, given its nod to something from the original "Monster Manual," they stumble across a skeleton suspended -- along with his coins and sword -- in green slime.  Eli announces he previously encountered green slime in a subway, telling the group they'll be fine so long as they keep moving, as the slime is "slow and persistent."  It's all just so evocative of the red-boxed "Dungeon & Dragons" set, but as if running into green slime were a legitimate threat you could experience in your day-to-day life.  Meanwhile, the Queen reminds Johnny Eldritch that their master sent her after Will and his team, informing him she knows about the team he dispatched.  He's not particularly inclined to care.  Back in the dungeon, Molly and the team arrive just in time to save Will from the master's knife.  As the goblins start to combine into a gestalt, Zach knocks the amulet from the master's hands.  Eli grabs it and, before the master can kill him, Will cuts him in half.  Good times.  The team departs the dungeon to find dragons in the sky, but not before David picks up the amulet...

Spider-Force #1:  This issue is OK, I guess.  Spider-Kid is pretty insufferable as a character, in no small part because Priest has to define the street slang he uses, because we're not hip to the lingo.  It’s always embarrassing when comics do that, like your great-grandfather saying “dope” or “sick.”  The idea that this team is the Spider-People’s version of X-Force is a great one, but Priest makes it unnecessarily confusing by starting in media res.  We start on the planet where the Web-Warriors initially trapped the Inheritors, with Kaine announcing everyone on Spider-Force is going to die of exposure after their radiation suits are opened.  I mean, we all know they're not going to die.  I think it would’ve been much cooler to see Kaine and Ashley talk about starting Spider-Force and deciding on recruiting Spider-Kid and Spider-Women.  At any rate, we’ll see where we go from here.  Hopefully Priest just sticks to the story at hand and stops trying to cram every possible comic-book trope into this series.

The Wild Storm #18:  The team is apparently going on hiatus for a few months to prepare for the last six issues.  I said last issue that I wasn't sure how Ellis was going to manage to address all the possible loose ends before issue #24.  But, after this issue, I think I'm a believer, as he successfully sends everyone after Miles at the same time. 

• Jackie puts two and two together and tells Miles that Cole and Adriana aren’t working for Skywatch:  they’re involved in a rogue C.A.T. (or a Wild C.A.T., if you will).  However, Miles still seems to lump them into the same category as Skywatch as he lists his woes over the last few weeks.  (He alludes to "visiting punishment" on Skywatch's Ground Division as costing him two C.A.T.s.  But, I initially read that as him talking about the C.A.T. or C.A.T.s he lost when they tried to grab Angie from the safehouse.  The Wild C.A.T.s were responsible for that, not Bendix.)  At any rate, Jackie is sick of it, and she tells Miles it’s time to go to war with Skywatch because they killed one of their own (Mitch).  She recalls the speech Miles gave when he took over IO, saying they were the secret angels working to save humanity -- but, sometimes angels destroyed cities and didn’t just save them.

• In space, Bendix talks to Dr. Helspont, one of the original Thunderbook researchers.  Helspont explains the slave triggers in the Wetworks members were developed in three phases. The original triggers create uncontrollable violence in the subjects, and the second generation only points the subjects in a direction.  Apparently only Helspont's triggers work in actually controlling the subjects.  Slayton seems to fall in the second category of triggers whereas, disturbingly, Apollo and Midnighter might be from the last phase.

• Speak of the devil, Slayton tracks down Lynch, but Lynch convinces him — or, more specifically, his alien — to go after Miles since he’s the bad guy.  (Maybe it's just his second-generation trigger pointing him in a direction.)  As Lynch explains, the only people who can stop Slayton are IO, and his advantage is IO doesn’t know about Thunderbook.  Meanwhile, Michael Cray is heading to New York to kill Miles, or at least we assume he is.  Also, he may really have burnt down his father’s house after he tells a woman on the train his father would’ve sold information about his destination to “corporate headhunters” ten minutes after he left.  At Skywatch, Bendix also declares he’s going to destroy IO, so it looks like Miles is going to have a bad week.

• Angie defects to the Doctor’s team, where she meets a cleaned-up Mayor who explains Skywatch experimented on him.  (I think, but am not sure, Helspont likely did it after moving to Skywatch from IO/Thunderbook.  Earlier, we learned he made the move after Lynch shutdown Thunderbook.)  Angie says she came to them because the Khera spoke highly of them as “the authority.”  (Heh.)  Meanwhile, Marlowe and the C.A.T.s discover she’s gone but deploy to swipe a cosmic particle IO has caught.

• We have a super weird interlude between two disguised Khera sitting at a bar in Los Angeles who explain Zealot broke with Marlowe after Emp said he didn’t want to turn Earth into a slave camp anymore. (Zealot is at said bar, but doesn’t recognize them.)  Does that mean Marlowe still does?

In other words, Ellis really continues a masterful level of storytelling.  Miles comments about Skywatch vice the Wild C.A.T.s are the only ones that left me vaguely confused, despite Ellis alluding to storylines he started 18 months ago in issue #1.  If going on hiatus means the last six issues will be even more awesome, I'm all for it!

Also Read:  Avengers Halloween Special #1; Old Man Hawkeye #10; Vault of Spiders #1; West Coast Avengers #3; X-Men:  Black - Emma Frost #1

Not-Very-New Comics: The October 24 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #8:  This issue is OK, but I’ll admit I’m having trouble following everyone’s status quo (a theme of the month, as you’ll see).  First, we have MJ.  It was always a little unbelievable Mary Jane was a top executive at Stark Industries, a reality highlighted when Peter lists her previous jobs as a model, actress, and club owner.  We learn here she quit under acrimonious circumstances, but I don't read "Iron Man" so I don't know why.  Plus, I’m still not sure whether Peter accepted the Lizard’s offer to help him actually earn his Ph.D.  Before we can get to the bottom of either mystery, we’re launched into the next arc.  It’s just a little dizzying at this point.

Detective Comics #991:  Well, that went James Robinson very quickly.  This issue quickly devolves into a circular and largely nonsensical conversation between Batman, Commission Gordon, and Two-Face.  Jim seems determined to believe Harvey is still alive somewhere in there even though, OMFG, how many times have we been down this road, Jim?  But, it just doesn't stop there.  Robinson tries to do too much here as Two-Face argues it was Harvey who killed Karl Twist while Bruce notes the Fireflies' description of Twist's building means Two-Face is helping Kobra (because Bruce didn't get a chance to read the plans Twist developed for them).  So is Harvey working for Kobra , too?  Also, at some point, Two-Face jumps off the bridge because he's mad Jim is there.  Yeah, I don't know.  I'm just trying to get to Tomasi at this point.

Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra #25:  This series has always been written for the trade, but I have to admit I think it’s gotten to the point where I can’t really follow from month to month.  Granted, it’s probably been two months or so since I read the last issue, but I spent most of the issue trying to remember everyone status quo.  (See?  Theme.)  For example, I think “Sir” called Vader to delay Accresker Jail crashing into the planet Tiferep, but I’m not 100% certain.  I also know Sana was involved in this arc somehow, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just to evacuate the Rebel forces from Tiferep, as she does here.  Moreover, I think Dr. Evazan had something to do with the death of Tam Posla’s partner, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was.  All in all, I think it’s time for me to call it a day with this series.  I enjoy Aphra as a character, but the series may require more work than I can provide at this point.

X-Men:  Red #9:  The X-Men seem not to have a group editor, because I feel like everyone is just telling stories.  For example, Rachel comes under the sway of Cassandra Nova here, meaning Taylor is telling almost exactly the same story Guggenheim just told in "X-Men Gold."  It wasn't all that believable when it was Mesmero controlling her, and I have to stay it still isn't all that believable even when it's Cassandra Nova.  Given Rachel is also likely coming under the sway of Ahab in "Extermination," it really makes you wonder how no editor didn't maybe raise his or her hand and note we were getting downright repetitive in X-Land.

Also Read:  Infinity Wars:  Sleepwalker #2; Return of Wolverine #2; Spider-geddon #2; Spider-Gwen:  Ghost Spider #1; X-Men:  Black - Juggernaut #1

Not-Very-New Comics: The October 17 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Astonishing X-Men #16:  I'll be honest:  I got lost here and didn't try all too hard to find my way home.  At some point Bastion apparently implanted some sort of code in Alex's brain.  Alex agrees to give it to the Reavers so they can find his X-Men and, for them, Donald Pierce.  But, it turns out they lied to him that they needed it to find the X-Men:  they always had the ability to communicate with Pierce.  But, with Alex's code, they can now control Sentinels somehow?  It would all be easier to process this confusion if I also didn't have to look at Greg Land's porn poses all issue.  I mean, if you're going to give me a porn pose, Greg, at least give me a porny Alex.  Maybe then I could get over the meh-ness of this entire enterprise.

Batman #57:  Every time Tom King manages to get himself in my good graces he does something to fall from them again.  Bruce wordlessly fights KGBeast here in a battle we're supposed to feel is climatic but doesn't look any more serious than Bruce's average back-alley encounter in Gotham.  But, it all goes downhill from there.  King dubiously asserts that both Bruce and KGBeast insisted their fathers read the same fable to them as children, about a hare, squirrel, wolf, pig, and fox who travel to a church but fall into a pit along the way.  King spends a lot of time on the fable, dedicating several pages to Daniel's recreation of the storybook.  In the story, the fox tricks the pig and wolf into eating the hare and squirrel with him, then the pig into eating the wolf with him, and then the pig into eating himself.  But, the fox is still left in the hole.  To me, the fable seems to teach the value of teamwork, as the animals never even try to escape the hole.  But, King seems to view it as justifying Bruce using his grappling hook to break KGBeast's neck and leaving him to die in Siberia, his vengeance sated.  Really?  No editor was like, "Um, that doesn't seem very Batman-y of him?"  I think King wants us to see how Bruce and KGBeast are still stuck down the proverbial hole, but I'm not honestly sure.  It's just a fucking mess.  Percy did great stuff with the aftermath of Dick getting shot in issue #55, but King just totally drops the ball here.

Nightwing #51:  Putting aside the jarring change in artists, this issue is decent.  It's not great, but it's not terrible.  Detective Sapienza finds the burnt-out remains of Nightwing's HQ and eventually decides to put on the uniform to tackle the huge spike in crime that came with Dick's disappearance over the last four months.  "Ric" is still driving his taxi, and he encounters Alfred at his bar.  This sequence reminds me of "General Hospital," where amnesiac Jason Morgan only trusted one former member of his family; Alfred doesn't rub Ric the wrong way, the way Babs does.  They have a civil enough conversation before Ric starts his shift.  When he's carjacked, he's stunned to find his reflexes leave the would-be thief battered and broken on the ground.  As much as I like this new direction, I loathe Scott Lobdell and worry he's now going to ruin Dick Grayson just like he ruined Jason Todd.  [Sigh.]

Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #311:  This issue is great.  Zdarsky's absence is less noticeable because Ryan does a great job showing us how disruptive Morlun's sudden attack on Peter is:  we're all disoriented.  Peter's been web-slinging all night, so he's really off his game when Morlun attacks.  It's a nice touch, because it's a reminder superheroes don't always get to pick when their most powerful nemesis attacks them.  Morlun's attack happens essentially in real time:  from the moment he attacks to the end of the issue is probably only ten minutes or so.  Frigeri does a great job of showing the frantic nature of this fight:  his fight scenes are propulsive.  He trades off some detail for energy, and it suits this story perfectly.  So far, so good, "Spider-geddon."

Thor #6:  I haven't said a lot about the last few issues mostly because they've been pretty solid.  Among many unexpected developments, the revelation that the glowing green worm driving Ego the Necroworld insane was Loki was awesome.  I laughed when he stood revealed on the last page, impressed Aaron had pulled off something so obvious and yet at the same time unexpected.  Based on the young girl's comments at the end of this issue, Loki now stands poised to destroy all existence, with Doom, Logan, and Thor all dead.  But, Aaron is also telling a larger story, as generations of Earthlings live with a cracking and shaking world, adjusting to the battle between Doom and Thor at their core.  If that's not a metaphor for our times, I don't know what is.

Also Read:  Darth Vader #22; Dragon Age:  Deception #1; Mr. and Mrs X #4; The New World #4; X-Men:  Black - Mystique #1