Not-Even-Remotely New Comics!: The August 21 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Guardians of the Galaxy #8:  I cried basically this entire issue.  First, Rocket reveals that he was originally bred as a support animal for patients on an asylum planet.  But, the robots left to care for the patients evolved him and his brethren to take their place after they also left.  Alone, it's a heartbreaking story as we see poor Rocket torn from his kind owner.  He later lies to Groot and Moondragon that he doesn't miss being "soft."  But, we also then learn that everyone is mad with Rocket because he left to die without saying good-bye, desperate for them not to see him weak.  As if all these revelation aren't emotional enough, Groot really amps up the feels when he tells Rocket that he doesn't belong just to himself and that he doesn't get to control how he says good-bye.  (Did I mention that Gamora was protecting Rocket so that one of his enemies didn't kill him before he died?  Sniff.)  I even teared up a bit when Cosmo showed his belly to Lockjaw in honor of meeting him and, paraphrasing Aragorn, Lockjaw told Cosmo that he shows his belly to no dog.  (To quote Peter, space dogs, man.)  It's issues like this one that remind me why I didn't cancel this series, as Cates just really keeps delivering on the feels that come with this family.

Powers of X #3:  In the previous issue that displayed the timeline of Moira's life, lives #9 and #10 had dotted lines, not showing how they ended.  I originally figured that it might mean that those lives were somehow running concurrently, but it turns out Hickman just didn't want to spoil the surprise.

In X2, the X-Men use the device they stole to find the file that tells them when Nimrod went on line.  While the Cardinal, Rasputin, and Xorn sacrifice themselves to distract Nimrod and his troops, Apocalypse, Krakoa, and Wolverine go after the file.  (It turns out the figure that I thought was Groot last issue is a combination of Krakoa and Cypher, which obviously makes more sense.  Also, Apocalypse wasn't trying to send Nimrod after humanity, as I thought last issue; he's trying to wipe Nimrod from history.)  While Apocalypse sacrifices himself to buy them more time, Krakoa returns Logan to Asteroid K.  He then feeds the information to Moira and kills her, ending life #9 and sending her into life #10 with this knowledge.  (Charles' comment to Magneto that they were engaged in a long plan makes much more sense now.)

This timeline seems now to come to an end.  Assuming it didn't cease to exist once Moira died (an ongoing question for me), Rasputin opens up Xorn's helmet and exposes the singularity there, presumably descending this world into a black hole.  (That said, if either the timeline or the X2 Earth end, how is Nimrod still alive -- albeit in a reduced form -- in X3?)  Before ending it (presumably), Hickman made this timeline as scary as possible.  At one point, the Church of the Ascendancy injects what I can only assume is some form of the techno-organic virus into a child.  The Church's tenets are that you have to see your humanity as your fallen self, aware of the perfection (i.e., the machine part) inside you and how far your humanity misses that ideal.  Better to serve in Heaven than rule in Hell, after all, as the bishop quotes.  This part makes it clear that the "Man-Machine Supremacy" is really just the machine supremacy, with humanity completely subjugated.  Until this final gambit, we learn that the X-Men were still trying to get humanity to join them in revolting against the machines.  We also learn more about the lineages, like how the Cardinals were made from Ajax (thanks again, internet!), Jean Grey, and Nightcrawler.

At this point, I think the only loose end related to X2 (beyond this question of what Moira does to the timelines she leaves) is from one of the interstitial pages, where it looks like the Cardinal, Clyobel, Percival, and Rasputin provided genetic material for Mother, or Akkaba.  I wonder when we'll return to that interesting prompt...

Star Wars:  Tie Fighter #5:  This series was really, really solid.

First, characters actually died, and not just in the final issue.  It injected the sort of stakes into the story that you don't often see in superhero comics, where you know dead characters are really just temporarily dead.  Second, the action scenes were exciting.  Antonio does a really great job in depicting the battle against the Rebel base here, making it easy to follow which character is doing what, a notable skill that not every artist working on "Star Wars" comics has shown.  But, Houser also shines as the misfit toys finally come together as a team, with Jeela letting down her tough exterior to admit this team is the only one where she's really belonged and Bansu supporting a usually overconfident Rac after he mistakenly cripples a X-Wing in a way that sends it into a Tie Fighter bomber.

But, all that pales in comparison to the unexpected closing sequence, as Shadow Wing's victory fizzles upon news that the Emperor has been killed with the Death Star.  It's the first time that I've ever seen that moment from the Imperial side.  The cadets start to panic about the Empire's future and their leaders try to reassure them, noting that the command structure remains.  I may have held my breath the entire time, so surprising this entire sequence was.

That said, I'm not sure what the B story is supposed to tell us.  In a flashback, Teso joins Jeela at the target range.  She assumes that he wants to take her off the team because she's often not a good fit, and he reminds her that they're not clones -- they're humans with faults.  It's a great moment, particularly given Teso's "reputation" -- it's a reminder that he's a leader who's had to make tough decisions.  But, he tells her that he's there to talk about another aspect of the mission, but Houser doesn't tell us what that is.  I feel like maybe I just missed it in this issue, but it might be alluding to a side mission in a series to come, which I would totally support.

All in all, it was a great series, giving us a pretty unique perspective on the Star Wars Universe, which is a feat at this point.  I'm definitely going to pick up "Alphabet Squadron."

Transformers '84 #0:  This issue is more in line with what I hoped the relaunched "Transformers" series would be.  We learn that Optimus Prime launched the Ark as a way to lure Megatron to his doom.  He brought his best warriors along with him (to their presumed doom) so that Megatron wouldn't suspect anything.  I mean, whoa.  Heavy is the head that wears the crown.  Meanwhile, the B story involves a team looking for an ark.  In the original cartoon series, Optimus' Ark crashed landed millions of years before 1984, and the B story is set in Medieval Earth, so I assume it's the Ark that they're trying to locate.  But, Prime made Counterpunch promise not to allow anyone to look for them, to ensure that Megatron never troubled Cybertron again, so something is afoot, clearly.  Again, overall, I'd say this series so far holds more promise than the relaunched one, in terms of getting to spend time with the characters that I love.

The Weatherman, Vol. 2 #3:  We get a lot of information here.  But it isn't just some sort of expositive data dump; LeHeup constantly reminds us of the very real human stakes behind each revelation along the way.

The revelations come because the team stumbles upon Dr. Argus as he's picking up a supply drop.  We learn that the biophagus isn't a virus:  it's a "single-cell organism that flash-feeds on animal DNA."  The zombies whom we saw in the previous two issues aren't people:  they're constructs that the biophagus created.  It started as a mist when it first arrived on Earth, but it can take on the shape of any animal that it consumes.  On Earth, it takes the form of people to lure more people into its clutches.  Argus and Dr. Nyseth were working on a weapon that attacks the biophagus' "neuropressin" pheromone, which allows it to communicate with itself telepathically.  It turns out Argus wasn't exposing lottery victims to the virus last issue to create a cure; he's trying to turn his former lab assistant into a biophagus-human hybrid so he can serve as the delivery mechanism for the weapon.  Also, Dr. Argus dug Nyseth's grave because she died two weeks ago of a brain aneurysm.  Ruh-roh.

Argus then informs the team that Ian's memory drive might be at Syngen Station, where Nyseth first worked when she came to Earth.  But it's (of course) one of the most highly protected facilities in the world, because it was the center of biophagus research.  As such, Cross has to kidnap Argus to enter it, because he's the only one with access.  However, Nathan encourages her to let Argus continue trying to "cure" the biophagus, giving Argus time to hit a SOS button.  Cross is forced to reveal to Nathan that Jenner has the other sample (of biophagus, I think).  As such, they don't have time:  they have to get Ian's drive to learn what the Sword of God is planning.  (I'm guessing that Jenner is going to release the biophagus on Mars?)  Argus' rescue team arrives at the lab but the team manages to escape.

Oh, also?  The victims who "won" the lottery from issue #1?  It turns out they're the piles of bodies that we also saw in issue #1.  Kestrel is feeding the "winners" to the biophagus to keep it controlled; it's the only way that they've been able to survive.  (I was wondering how or why they piled up the bodies so high.  Like everything with this series, the answer is grimmer than I thought.)  But the revelations don't stop there.  It turns out Pickles (Pace's bear) is a "brain-damaged" construct; he was exposed to radiation and somehow forgot his biophagus connection, bonding onto Pace instead.  We also learn from Argus that Nyseth didn't really die of a brain aneurysm, as he later confides to Cross.  After Nyseth was chosen in the lottery, Kestrel exempted her to continue her research, but a mob killed her anyway.  We also learn that the Marshal was friends and partners with Ian Black before he joined Jenner's crew.  It's all...a lot.

As revelation-heavy as this issue was, though, it didn't just read as exposition.  In moments when it came close to that, LeHeup quickly made sure to focus on the emotions driving these characters.  For example, in a flashback, we see that Garren confronted Cross over her lack of a plan to get off Earth.  They kiss, but they have to stop when they arrive on Earth.  Cross remembers this moment as she weeps over Garren's loss.  Ugh.  It was a punch right in the feels, man.  Did I mention the Martian president has to decide whether to let a terrorist strike continue so they can kidnap one of Jenner's Inner Circle without him realizing they captured the agent?  LeHeup just really knows how to make a bad situation worse.

(I edited the texts of my "The Weatherman" reviews in November 2024 as I occasionally called Cross "Amy" instead of Amanda and the Marshal as "Cowboy" or just "Marshal.")

Also Read:  Marvel's Spider-Man:  City at War #6