Wednesday, April 6, 2022

Over Year-Old Comics: The Superhero December 9, 16, 23, and 30 (2020) Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #54 (December 9):  Oh, God, make it stop, please, make it stop.  Nick Spencer has entered Tom King territory, and I just can't.  As Peter himself acknowledges, we once again witness a melodramatic fight between an exhausted Peter and a crazy Harry...except this time he's a demon?  I don't know.  Spencer wants me to care, but I don't.  As Peter says, it's exhausting to have Harry always be the guilty party when something bad and crazy happens.  Under pet peeve #3 rules, Spencer doesn't get credit for having a character acknowledge the ridiculousness of his own plot.  [Sigh.]

Guardians of the Galaxy #9 (December 9):  Ewing is clearly re-ret-coning Peter's origin to match his original origin.

That said, I only have a vague idea of what his original origin is.  It clearly involves the Master of the Sun?  It seems like the Star-Lords are a group like the Nova Corps, since the Master of the Sun tells Peter that he'll make him "a" Star-Lord.  But, Peter is convinced this origin is a false memory, though it's unclear why he's having the memory now and why he doesn't believe it.  

At any rate, we learn that Peter used the Element Gun to absorb the Olympians.  He then spends 144 years in a place called Mornius where he enters into a bisexual thruple and seemingly has a child named Rocky.  But, he uses his Element Gun enough over that 144 years that he's released enough of the Olympians' powers for them to reconstitute themselves.  Peter is forced to return to our galaxy just in time for Knull's invasion.

Although the story is easy enough to follow, the meta-story is much more is difficult to follow.  The issue is structured as Peter passes through Morinus' 12 houses, though Ewing never really tells us what they are or why they're important.  Although he does an impressive job investing us in Arcadia and Mors (Peter's spouses) in such a short time, it's a double-edged sword because it's hard not to want more.  

I feel like we could've gotten some really great Morinus stories, but Ewing had to cut it short for the "King in Black" crossover.  It's disappointing given how great it could've been.

Marauders #16 (December 9):  I mean, I guess this issue is OK?  I dunno.  I don't have any reason not to like it, because, I mean, how could I possibly dislike Emma, Kate, and Lockheed kicking Sebastian Shaw's ass?  But, something about it bordered on eye-roll inducing, though I can't quite put my finger on it.

Captain America #26 (December 16):  Just like "Marauders," I haven't been feeling these last few issues.  Bucky, Cap, Sam, and Sharon's mission to save Misty, Natasha, Peggy, and Ross feels like the sort of thing that we'd cover in a few pages in an epilogue to a long-running story.  Maybe it's because the stakes don't feel real at all:  it isn't like we believe that they're going to fail to rescue them.  Even when it seemed like Peggy was going to die at the end of last issue, I found myself struggling to summon any sense of sadness.  As Sharon said in that issue and Steve in this one, pretty much every major character in this issue - Bucky, Lukin, Natasha, Peggy, Ross, Sharon, Sin, Steve - has been dead at some point or another.  With stakes that low, as I said, it's hard to care a lot about the outcome here.

New Mutants #14 (December 16):  Hickman has Ayala address one of the issues lurking in the background of many of the "Dawn/Reign of X" series, namely the younger mutants appear to be drunks.  The older New Mutants write the Quiet Council asking for help, and the Council promptly puts them in charge of running the education program.  Using the Captains' "synergy" approach, the older New Mutants begin training the rest of the new mutants in the Wild Hunt.  It's all well and good except for the fact that several trainee New Mutants are under the Shadow King's influence.  I'll admit that I'm surprised that we're lumping Anole in with several characters created for this story.  I mean, he's been a character for almost 20 years.  You'd think that he'd at least be part of the Young X-Men group and not demoted to this one.

Amazing Spider-Man #55 (December 30):  OMFG, how is this story not over yet?  I thought with "Last Remains" ending we'd be done, but, no, we're just beginning?  

I mean, I know Spencer is all about returning to Peter's past, as this issue's multiple references to Harry and Peter's previous confrontations makes clear.  But, I didn't really need to return to the era where Mary Jane is always at the point of getting fridged.  Possibly even worse, we're also returned to the era where Norman somehow never suffers any consequences.  After all, he apparently cured himself of his insanity (including thinking that he was Carnage), and was immune to Sin-Eater's bullets.  Is Norman the Devil?  Maybe?  Who knows?  Who cares?  

I also cannot - cannot - take another minute of Harry pinning blame for Norman on Peter.  Even Norman tried to do so in issue #49.  I get that it seemed dodgy that Peter didn't tell Harry that Norman was the Green Goblin once he realized that Norman suffered from amnesia.  But, Harry was basically having nervous breakdowns over poorly toasted bagels at that point in time.  Yes, Peter benefitted from not having to expose his secret identity, but it didn't mean that his benefit was the only variable in the equation.  Plus, as Norman's behavior in this issue shows, Norman is beyond saving.  But, the fucking Osborns keep trying to pin everything on Peter, and he buys it.

I'm so fucking bored of this schtick.  I really could never read an Osborn story for as long as I live and I wouldn't care.

X-Men #16 (December 30):  Hickman makes it clear that he's not done with Arakko when it turns out Arakko doesn't want to unify with Krakoa now that it's arrived on Earth.  

Isca the Unbeaten is appalled at the X-Men's weakness, something that Hickman plays up well when Isca essentially emasculated Professor X for arriving with a Krakoan flower for her.  (To be fair, he was simply trying to help them set up a portal so they didn't have to cross the strait between the two islands, but it's clear that Isca didn't even see that reason as a good one.)  Meanwhile, Cyclops and Marvel Girl decline positions on the Quiet Council as they plan to restart the X-Men.  They plan to hold annual elections for the roster, and I'm sure that it won't get political at all. 

I have to admit that I feel like Hickman is losing some steam here.  The X of Swords event seemed to happen at a weird time, in retrospect.  We haven't even established the status quos of all the X-Men and associated characters, but now we're adding 20 times the number of mutants on Krakoa with the addition of Arakko.  Moreover, it's getting hard to tell what the modi operandi of all the Krakoan teams are, and now we're adding the X-Men into the mix.  

As amazing as Hickman's work with "Dawn/Reign of X" has been, I feel like it might be time to break up the central narrative control and let creators tell stories where the only notable part about Krakoa is that it's where the mutants happen to live.  Duggan gets as close as we've seen to that on "Marauders," and that series' best issues are when we barely mention Krakoa at all.

Also Read:  MODOK:  Head Games #1 (December 2); Amazing Spider-Man #54.LR (December 23)

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