Five-Month-Old Comics: The December 14 and 21 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #15 (December 14):  This issue is weirdly jokey given the fact that Peter discovers Ben is still alive and Eddie Brock has reverted to his more brainless (and dangerous) iteration.  (Peter responds to both developments essentially with a shrug.)  As he goes to save Norman, he comments how Norman helped him when he lost Mary Jane, a situation he described as "a pickle."  It's bizarre.

Also, Ben can apparently cast spells now, which he uses to do...something to Ms. Marvel, whose appearance here feels completely unnecessary.  

In terms of continuity, this issue clearly happens after "Dark Web:  X-Men" #1 (despite the checklist saying it comes before it), since Peter refers to leaving the X-Men at Rockefeller Center, which happens in that issue (see below).  To make matters more complicated, Madelyne and Hallows' Eve collect Eddie here for their "secret mission," but they already had him in "Dark Web" #1.

In other words, it isn't the most promising star to this event.

Dark Web:  X-Men #1 (December 14):  This issue is worth the price of admission only for nostalgic 80s children (like me) who'll appreciate Spidey's team-up with Firestar and Iceman. 

Like "Amazing Spider-Man" #15, though, it suffers from an inappropriately jokey tone.  For example, as they're imprisoned in Limbo, Alex desperately tries to get Scott to engage with his pain, which he claims is similar to Madelyne's (a stretch, but consistent with Duggan's portrayal of Alex as a whiny brat).  Scott completely rebuffs him.  To be fair, Scott is trying to get Alex to help him escape their cell, but still.  

Beyond the issues mentioned in the above review, this issue's chronological sequencing is also odd.  Madelyne is in Limbo torturing the Summer brothers but also in New York going on her "secret mission" with Hallows' Eve.  Also I thought she told Ben in "Amazing Spider-Man" #14 that she wouldn't go to New York to maintain some plausible deniability with the X-Men?  

It's a mess.

Mary Jane & Black Cat (December 21):  For fuck's sake, Wells has got to tell us what happened six months ago.  

I say that because Mary Jane didn't just collect a husband and two children in the ensuing period, she also gained superpowers.  Said powers involve her spinning a slot-machine wheel and manifesting a power based on whatever she gets spin-wise.  It isn't just ridiculous (which it is).  It's also repetitive.  We've already had two extremely confusing iterations of the Jackpot hero, though neither one possessed these powers.  [Sigh.]  

If you're asking what Mary Jane's powers have to do with "Dark Web," Black Cat sees her manifest them to protect Paul and the kids from demons.  Of course, before we can address that, Belasco kidnaps Black Cat and Mary Jane because he wants a favor.  [Sigh, again.]

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #29 (December 14):  This issue is fun when it's Bossk and Tasu fighting off Imps or IG-88 taking out the Son-tuul Pride syndicate basically on his own.  

But I still have the problem I've had for a while, which is that this series has so many main and supporting characters that it's really hard to keep them all straight.  When and why did Crimson Dawn destroy Ankala and her compatriots' villages?  How and why did the Pride help Crimson Dawn and thus earn an Imperial bounty?  

It's a small complaint, but it does occasionally slow down my ability to follow the action, which is fast and furious here.

WildC.A.Ts #2 (December 14):  This issue moves fast.

The beginning is a good time as Cole expresses frustration while he and Zealot find themselves battling the H.I.V.E troops and the Court of Owls' Talons.  Cole gets injured, forcing Zealot to fight off their attackers alone while getting a still unconscious Fairchild and him to a place where Void can teleport them.

Cole isn't a "sitting in bed" type of guy, though, so he leaves the hospital early to attend the Halo directors meeting.  (In the hospital, he relays another multiverse story, though I don't recognize this one.)  At the meeting, we see various familiar faces at the table, including Dr. Anthony Ivo, Norah Fries (who I though the WildC.A.Ts killed per a comment last issue but is clearly alive here), and a resurrected (female) Michael Cray.  For reasons Rosenberg doesn't make clear, Cole encourages Marlowe to let them go after the Court, but Void disapproves.  

That doesn't stop Cole from getting Voodoo to go over the crime scene with him later that night.  She doesn't find anything, though their search clearly pisses off the Court, which sends an assassin after Marlowe at a party later that evening.  Marlowe decides that it's time to take the WildC.A.Ts public, though he unveils a team called the Seven Soldiers of Victory, most of whom I don't recognize.  I'm sure (I hope) Rosenberg has something up his sleeve.

Also Read:  Night Club #1 (December 14); X-Men Annual #1 (December 21)

Five-Month-Old Comics: The December 7 Non-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman #130:  I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  Zdarsky is playing for keeps here.

The issue opens with a spectacular seven-page spread focused on Bruce finding a way to survive falling from the Moon to Earth.  He swipes a booster and oxygen canister from one of the Justice League ships that Failsafe destroyed last issue, initiates nine-g bursts of propulsion every three to four seconds for an hour, spends eight hours and 31 minutes in free fall, and uses his trunks as a face shield after his oxygen mask burns in reentry.  It's something else.

Of course, Bruce doesn't just randomly land on Earth:  he lands at the Fortress of Solitude.  (He used the compressed air in his grappling hook to direct the booster's position because of course he did.)  Failsafe almost immediately arrives after him, and an awakened Superman goes to fight it as Bruce and Tim plan.  Bruce realizes their only option is to use the hole he created in Failsafe's armor last issue to inject him with virus-enabled nanobots.  Since Failsafe's programming would reject an attack, Bruce has the bots introduce a new program:  compassion.

Failsafe is rattled, but his definition of compassion entails him disintegrating Bruce.  Of course, the story ends with Bruce somehow lying unconscious in a Gotham City alley, so we'll see what he did to survive next issue.  Meanwhile, Failsafe announces his mission complete and departs for parts unknown.

As action packed as this issue is, Zdarsky doesn't skimp on the emotions.  Bruce reflects on how Tim always relished teamwork more than Dick or Jason, which is how he's able to get close enough to Failsafe to inject the nanobots.  Shortly before Failsafe shoots him, Bruce looks mournfully at Tim and tells him that it'lll be OK.  It's a reach, though, given the last scene in the North Pole is Tim crying next to the hole where Bruce was with Superman lying unconscious behind him.

In the "Zur en Arrh:  Year One" back-up story, Bruce summons his mother to remind him that her son and his father's son isn't a murderer.  As Zur en Arrh stands in the corner watching them, she pulls back his cowl to reveal he has no eyes:  just a face with a smile, an embodiment of "hollow anger."  Emboldened, Bruce takes over the body in time to save the Joker from falling to his death after Zur en Arrh threw him out the window.  The story ends with Bruce realizing that he is the most dangerous man alive and installing the same "failsafes and barriers" that he has in real life into Zur en Arrh.

I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Blade Runner 2039 #1:  Every time you think this series of mini-series is at its bleakest, Johnson proves you wrong.

Unlike the two previous mini-series, Ash isn't the focus at the start of this one.  Instead, we're introduced to Luv, the first Replicant Blade Runner (and obviously a precursor to "Blade Runner 2049's" handsome, handsome K).  The issue begins with Luv taking out a Replicant named Tabitha but not realizing that Tabitha's unnamed friend is also a Replicant.  Back at HQ, we witness the same hostility towards Luv that K experienced, though she seems more frustrated by it than K was.

Elsewhere, Tabitha's friend is trying to buy two eyes from a creepy flesh dealer.  He tells her that she can't afford them until she makes it clear they're for "payment" and the flesh dealer correctly guesses that she's trying to see "the Ferryman."  Knowing the Ferryman will make sure he gets paid, the flesh dealer gives the eyes to Tabitha's friend, telling her that no one returns from the Ferryman, "least, not how they were before they left."  At Hermosa Beach, Tabitha's friend finds the Ferryman who tells her that the eyes aren't for him (he's blind, with a rag around his eyes) but for the "monster at the end of the Labyrinth."

In an alleyway, a cop shakes down a man who's fallen on hard times, as we can tell by the photo that he clutches of him dressed in a suit with his family.  The officer informs him that "you people aren't supposed to go past the shoreline encampment anymore," and the man complains that he used to live there.  The officer is ready to beat him when Luv intervenes.  She forces the officer to beg her to spare him in progressively pathetic ways because she knows that he was patrolling outside his beat (for reasons that aren't made clear).  Before she can get him to grovel further, Niander Wallace, Jr. directly gives her a new job:  track down the Replicant based on Alexander Selwyn's late wife, who's gone missing.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Twenty miles off the California coast, the Ferryman arrives at Catalina Island, and Tabitha's friend panics, noting that it's poisoned.  She departs the boat to find Ash, wearing dark glasses, asking for the eyes.

These series are so effing good.  Johnson somehow makes real the further decline in the quality of life for Angelenos, as it seems like the middle class doesn't even exist anymore.  His ability to use small moments - a few panels, really - to get across this message is amazing.  I'm excited to find myself in Ash's world again.

Know Your Station #1:  I enjoyed this issue, but I wouldn't keep reading it if I didn't know it was only five issues long.

The premise is great:  someone has flayed Alberto Fairmilk, the chief financial officer of First Resort, an Avulsion Corporation space station for the ultrarich escaping Earth's climate chaos.  As the station's security liaison, Elise greets Detective Sergeant Leona Pritchard from Avulsion's "Soilside Carceral Operations."  A few hours later, Elise finds Pritchard murdered.  Troublingly, St. Brigid, the station's AI, informs Elise that she was the only person who accessed the airlock where she found Pritchard's body.  Since Elise is a frequent user of the Blue, it's possible she killed Pritchard without knowing it, though it seems unlikely.

Sounds great, right?  It is.  But something about the presentation was so stiff that I found it hard to connect with the characters.  Hopefully it'lll improve now that Kangas has set the stage.

Undiscovered Country #22:  As usual with this series' arcs, we're speeding up now as we approach the conclusion.

Charlotte figures out Aurora is sending Valentina and she to wars and correctly predicts that they'll respawn in 1812 once the Civil War soldiers kill them.  But they're both fading at this point:  Charlotte is struggling to remember the other wars, and Valentina notes their wounds are no longer healing.  But they figure out what Aurora wants them to know:  every place they've been, America defeats a foreign invader.  They throw themselves into the burning White House and reappear in the Monitorium, a space where the historians monitor Zone History.  They meet a head connected to a robot body who identifies himself as Henri Lavant.  He's lonely, so he proposes keeping them for a while since, after all, he controls time.

Meanwhile, Chang and Janet learn that Ace, Charlotte, and Daniel died during whatever they did to conquer America.  They're running an authoritarian regime with a personality cult dedicated to them.  But Ace exists in this reality and was separated from them when they respawned.  He heads to a library to get more information, but, when he searches for "America," the librarian tells him that she'll call the police if he isn't more careful about his searches.  He uses the computer to look up an elderly Valentina, who tells him that Chang and Janet got started on their road to victory by killing him, Charlotte, and Daniel.

Yup, it's pretty grim.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The December 7 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty #7:  Lanzing and Kelly show that Bucky knew what he was doing when he sent Sharon to Steve as she gets him going again (in more ways than one).

In fact, this issue is all about Steve remembering who his friends are, which is great, because they don't necessarily tell him what he wants to hear.  For example, the issue begins with Namor finding Steve to return his shield (which he lost during his fall from the Outer Circle's headquarters).  When Steve tells Namor about Bucky, Namor tells him what he still refuses to believe, that Bucky works in the shadows so Steve doesn't have to enter them.  Namor gives Steve solid advice in telling him to find people comfortable in the shadows if he's going to save Bucky.  Enter Sharon.

Sharon then puts together a group of Steve's friends to help, and I couldn't be happier with this team:  Black Widow, Hawkeye, Nick Fury, Peggy Carter, and Roger Aubrey.  (When Steve previously mentioned Roger during his conversation with Namor, Namor was thrilled to find out Roger was still alive.  He told Steve to send Roger his regards, which Steve does.  An overjoyed Roger tells Steve to put it on his tombstone.  Roger is very much a breath of fresh air here.)

Steve passes on information that Roger found to the team, namely that A.I.M. technology is unavailable on the black market right now.  Natasha says that fits with three of her A.I.M. contacts going missing, and the team assumes A.I.M. is cleaning house before something big.  

The team then considers the piece of neganite that Bucky and Steve collected from the Destroyer and that Bucky left as a clue for Steve in his emptied-out apartment.  Nick notes that it's usually used only in zero gravity, and the team concludes that Arnim Zola is the likely the person who put it in play (which we know, given the Circle last issue identified him as a Starpoint).  

Hawkeye tells the team that the Thunderbolts are currently cleaning out a Zola facility.  The team prepares to set a trap for the Circle, assuming they'll make a move on the facility.  The problem is that Steve wakes up four days later in Kansas with no idea how he got there and A.I.M. seems to have sealed off New York City.  D'oh!

Lanzing and Kelly do a great job of making all these developments flow from one moment to the next.  Despite a lot of exposition in the team's conversation, it felt like an organic dialogue between the characters, a rarity in comics.  

Moreover, the authors stay focused on the pain that Steve feels over what he sees as Bucky's betrayal.  I could find fault with this series over Steve's refusal to believe Bucky is doing the right thing, but Lanzing and Kelly make it clear that they're intentionally making Steve feel this way.  They're feelings, not logic.  They're totally right that Steve would feel depressed both by confronting a situation where he isn't in charge and where he's trying not to face the sacrifices Bucky makes for him.  Moreover, Lanzing and Kelly make it clear that Steve's friends are aware of this blindspot, again a rarity in comics.

As I've previously said, Lanzing and Kelly are seriously overcoming my doubts about this story and delivering what I think is going to become a classic Captain America tale.  It's great stuff.

Dark Web #1:  OK, "Dark Web."  Here we go.

As a Spider-Man and X-Men fan, I'm more excited about the Spider-Man side of this event than the X-Men one.  

On the Spider-Man side, I totally get Ben's motivations.  In order to regain his memories (and sanity), Ben needs Peter's memories.  It isn't that complicated.  Madelyne gives him a means to that end.

I still don't get Madelyne's part, though.  Magik turned over Limbo to her in "New Mutants" in recognition of her desire to belong somewhere.  As we saw in "Amazing Spider-Man" #14, Madelyne has doubts that Magik had her best interests at heart.  I get that.  But I feel like Madelyne had many more options than diving into "Inferno Part Deux" just because a hot blond dude appeared on her doorstep.  (She does like her hot blond dudes, though...)

At any rate, shenanigans will ensure. Madelyne and Hallow's Eve (the Summers Eve jokes really make themselves, so I won't belabor the point) are on some sort of mission with Venom (whose son Madelyne has kidnapped and who Madelyne magically lobotomized) while Ben takes the fight to Norman, the guy who engineered his (first) death.  We'll see where we go from here.

Star Wars:  Hidden Empire #2:  This issue is refreshingly direct.  The Archivist and the woman helping her, Kho Phon Farrus, manage to turn on the Fermata Cage.  But it attracts Darth Sidious' and Darth Vader's attention, and Sidioius dispatches Vader to get the Cage.  While Qi'ra regroups at a hidden safehouse, she dispatches Chanath Cha and her team to help the Archivist.  But I'm pretty sure Vader is just going to kill them all, so I'm not really sure what Soule is going to do with the last three issues.

X-Men Red #9:  Roberto's ongoing role as Sol's underestimated kingmaker kicks up a notch here as Brand is surprised when it turns out he, and not Xandra, sat on the Diplomatic Zone's throne when Vulcan tried to assassinate Xandra.  Poor Abby.

Meanwhile, Ewing shows us how Brand manipulated Xavier into resurrecting Gabriel.  She convinced him that Magneto's death left an Omega-level hole in the mutants' defenses, and Charles ego did the rest:  he decides that he can "cure" Vulcan before he hatches.  As expected, it didn't work, and Vulcan tears through the Galactic Council before trying to assassinate Xandra here.  

But the revelation that Roberto was using a Shi'ar image inducer to act as Xandra sends off Vulcan to find her.  For some reason he decides that she's in the Autumn Palace, Magneto's former residence, which I don't totally understand.  But he does find Storm, so I'm not complaining because I'm here for that fight.

Transformers (1984) #3

This issue opens with Starscream and the Seekers returning to the Decepticons' new base with Sparkplug so he can create for them the process of converting gasoline into energon that he was going to create for the Autobots.  In yet more thought-bubbling, Megatron exposits that his fusion cannon is the reason his leadership over the Decepticons is assured.  He views Starscream's "services" as necessary for now but anticipates a time when he can rid himself of the would-be "assassin" (his words).

Salicrup cleverly uses Sparkplug as a way to remind us that the Decepticons are like "modern man trying to hack it back in cavemen days."  They need fuel, but they stripped the Harrison nuclear plant for parts for their base instead of using its nuclear power capabilities to create energon.  We also learn Sparkplug was a POW in Korea!  Sparkplug initially refuses to help Megatron, but after Megatron has Laserbeak train his eyebeams on him Sparkplug relents.

Buster leaves behind Jesse and O at his father's garage to accompany the Autobots to the Ark.  We need to straighten out Buster again here as Jesse notes that he's sensitive, but he's also "so brave" for going with the Autobots in the hope that they can save his father.  Brave equals straight so we're all good.  

Because it's 1984, Spider-Man has an obligatory guest appearance, but this one makes more sense than his other ones during this era.  (I read a lot of Spider-Man guest appearances at this time, usually on failing or new series.)  Joe Roberston sends Peter to join the media phalanx surrounding Decepticon headquarters, hoping his experience taking Spidey photos will mean he can get some great action shots.  Peter changes into his Spidey costume to get closer to the action, as the media are behind the U.S. military, which surrounds the headquarters.  The Decepticons rebuff the military's offer to talk and then engage them in combat.

As he scouts the location, Spidey encounters Gears, who's grumbling that he doesn't even care about the humans.  After Spidey discovers that Gears isn't the enemy, Gears explains that the Decepticons are hoping to strip Earth from resources to fuel their war with the Autobots.  (I enjoyed Gears complaining that Spidey, like Bluestreak, likes the sound of his own voice.)  Gears and Spidey invade the Decepticons' headquarters to get Sparkplug while the Autobots intervene on the military's behalf, despite the military shooting at every Transformer willy-nilly.

Gears' crankiness is a great foil for Spider-Man, making it feel like one of his Wolverine team-ups.  Gears comes to appreciate how Spidey's acrobatics and chatter create enough of a distraction for him to take out Ravage and Soundwave.  Megatron is obviously another order of magnitude in terms of difficulty, and Spidey is upset when Gears seemingly sacrifices himself to save Sparkplug after Megatron shoots out the floor beneath them.  Interestingly, Gears is resurrectable here, after the Autbots collect all his pieces.  I wonder how future issues will address that.

At any rate, we get a great cliffhanger (heh) as Gears awakens with enough energy to inform the Autobots that Megatron got what he wanted from Sparkplug.  Say it ain't so, Dad!

The issues contains a lot of narrating the Transformers' abilities that seems clearly connected to selling the toys.  On the Decepticon side, Buzzsaw uses his "diamond-hard, micro-serrated edged beak" to take out an Air Force jet, Skywarp teleports to evade a jet, and Thundercracker uses his "defining sonic book" to stun the Army soldiers.  (The Seekers are so definitely the coolest Transformers in school).  Gears uses "a cushion of compressed air" to land after saving a group of reporters by grabbing a tank that Thundercracker throws at them, and Sunstreaker's "shoulder-mounted, laser-guided, ground-to-air missile" takes out Skywarp.  Frenzy - who explicitly calls Rumble his brother here - later knocks out Gears with his "high-pitched grating sound."

All in all, it's a pretty great issue, particularly with Spidey's appearance.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The November 30 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

I am unfortunately reading "Captain America:  Symbol of Truth" again because I love Ian Rogers and he returns in issue #7.  But I'm not happy about it.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #5:  Ugh.  I'd say this issue was the worst, but given the way this series is going, I'll probably say that next issue.

Sam and T'Challa fight in this issue for reasons that still make no sense.  Sam accuses the Wakandans of failing to save their neighbors as the colonizers came, and T'Challa keeps repeating the Wakandans' line that Sam doesn't have authority to act there.  To make matters worse, the new Wakandan prime minister expels all the Americans who tried to emigrate to Wakanda as part of "Wakanda Forever," going so far as revoking the citizenship of the ones who successfully did so.  

In other words, it's insane.  Onyebuchi doesn't even attempt to explain the Wakandans' motivations; they all just repeat that Sam didn't have authorization to act on Wakandan soil.  They never acknowledge that Sam not only stopped a bioterrorist threat but also alerted them to someone smuggling vibranium.  Something is clearly happening in Wakanda, but Onyebuchi doesn't give us enough information to make this arc make sense.

Turning to this series' other ridiculous story, the former hostage Luísa tells Joaquín that she smuggled out a "piece of this giant rock" that the White Wolf's men used for experiments and asks him if it made "the señora" sick.  Joaquín explains the vibranium (i.e., the giant rock) likely triggered the bioweapon.  But I have no idea who "the señora" is.  The last we saw Joaquín, the superhuman immigrants were helping him escape from prison.  No one seemed sick at all.

The issue ends with the White Wolf staring at a futuristic cityscape with an enormous panther statue - which apparently is an unknown location and not Wakanda - and waxing poetic about going home to Mohannda.

God, I hate this series.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #6:  This issue is a marginal improvement over the first five issues, as we get more information about Mohannda and better (though not great) insight into the White Wolf's motivations.  But it's still rough going, as Onyebuchi continues to rely on his characters delivering monologues instead of talking like humans.

Sam is providing security to the new Mohanndan prime minister as she appeals to the United Nations for financial support as she tries to end apartheid.  As the prime minister and Sam are departing the building, she suddenly sees her grandfather in the crowd.  He goes into cardiac arrest, and Sam realizes it's a trap.  The assassins release gas into the U.N. building, forcing Sam to flee with the prime minister.  However, the assassins were planning on that and detonate an explosion that kills her.  Meanwhile, Falcon remains on the scene to help the prime minister's grandfather but the arriving EMT injects him with a poison.  The issue ends with the White Wolf preparing to take control of Mohannda.

At this stage, I think it's probably best to ignore the first arc.  We're apparently never going to learn how the White Wolf got his hands on all that vibranium, why he was experimenting on the immigrants, or why he was trying to release a bioweapon in Wakanda.  None of it seems to have anything to do with him taking power in Mohannda.  Also, lest I overstate how much we learn about him, we still don't know why he wants to take power.  Is he a segregationist?  I wonder what his adopted brother T'Challa would think.

Whatever.  Let's get onto sexy Ian Rogers.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #7:  [Sigh.]

First, someone needs to explain to Onyebuchi that senators don't send troops into foreign countries.  The president is the commander-in-chief.  But Senator Mansfield is the one here trying to convince Sam that diving into the Mohanndan civil war to get revenge on the person who murdered the prime minister last issue isn't the greatest idea.  Of course, he then suddenly drops this opposition and decides that Sam needs a partner to keep the mission from getting too personal.

He chooses Ian Rogers, who apparently isn't dead but taking out HYDRA cells for shits and giggles on the Office of Foreign Utilities' (OFU) behalf.  Oh, you thought that Bucky and Sam shut down the OFU in "Falcon and Winter Soldier," did you?  Me, too.  So did Sam.  Apparently Bucky kept it running because Bucky somehow has the authority to keep open a federal government office whose job it is to murder terrorists, which we see Ian nonchalantly doing here.  Let's just say, I'm not sure Ian was the best choice if Mansfield was trying to keep Sam's operation in Mohannda quiet.

If I was annoyed by this poor plotting, I was downright incandescent with rage when Sam asks Ian if his father knows that he's alive and Ian quips, "Dad'll find out on his own time."  WTF?  Ian might have some anger issues (as I'm now developing reading this series) but he isn't an asshole.  What exactly does Onyebuchi propose that Steve did to Ian to make him so callous that he lets his father still think that he's dead?  Also Bucky knew Ian was alive and didn't do anything other than send him to kill people?  Grrrr.

At any rate, Sam and Ian land in Mohannda and...randomly attack a battalion to help civilians?  I thought they were going to get the person who killed the prime minister?  That's a spy mission not a "use a bazooka to take out an anti-aircraft battery" mission.  What, they're now going to save the whole country on their own?  Also, Falcon is a vampire?

If I don't get a shirtless Ian Rogers every issue to pacify my rage, I'm going to need to drink more to keep reading this series.

Justice Society of America #1:  In typical Johns' fashion, this issue is an explosive start to this series.

We begin 26 years from now, as Helena Wayne shakes down a Falcone to find out where Dr. Fate is.  Helena exposits that a random criminal somehow gained unspecified powers and killed Batman eight years earlier, dying in the act.  Now Helena is worried Dr. Fate is also dead.  He summoned her to his apartment after a disturbing vision, but Falcone and his men were on the premises cleaning up a crime scene when she arrived.  Much to the reader's surprise, Helena is there with her teammate, Solomon Grundy, who shockingly convinces Falcone to talk, though he doesn't know where Dr. Fate is.  (We never do discover why Falcone and his men were on the scene if the time-traveling figure I mention in the next paragraph was the one who killed Dr. Fate.)

As the story progresses, we learn that Helena has put together a new Justice Society of America filled with famous super-villains' children, most of whom are criminals themselves.  According to Helena, she did so in an attempt to honor her father's legacy; as she notes, she's alive because he gave her mother another chance.  Power Girl thinks she's insane.

I'd introduced the Society members to you, but they don't last long.  A security guard discovers Dr. Fate's body in a sarcophagus, and the Society takes possession of his body.  As Power Girl mourns over him, the rest of the team discusses the mystery of how his corpse appears to be over 1,000 years.  Providing an answer they don't live long enough to process, a mysterious figure arrives and uses his time-traveling powers to kill every team member except Helena

Helena only survives when her mother - who Helena previously told to stop tailing her - intervenes before he can age her to death.  Selena tells Helena to find the original Society.  Telling her that Dr. Fate can explain (and that she should've), Catwoman throws an orb at Helena.  We next see her youthful again and unconscious in an alley in 1940.

In other words, I'm totally on board.  Hopefully we'll get some sexy Alan Scott time.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #29:  This issue is better than the last few issues, as Soule switches focus to Dormé.  

The Handmaidens have sent Dormé to pose as Sabé and confirm whether or not Sabé's really working for Vader.  Ochi helps Dormé make it into Sabé private quarters, where she looks for evidence that Sabé hasn't turned.  Ochi tells her that she's barking up the wrong tree, providing the body count that Sabé's association with Vader has entailed.  Eventually, Vader calls on Dormé and also tells her that she's barking up the wrong tree.

Meanwhile, on Brentall IV, Jul Tambor impresses Sabé.  Jul informs her that he started his rebellion against the Empire after the Emperor forced into exile everyone on Skako Minor who protested him taking control.  To make matters worse, the Emperor also banned the export of the rebreathers the Skakans need to survive off-world, forcing them to recycle ones they find.  Sabé pushes against this narrative, noting that one could argue that Jul started the war.  Jul replies that they just wanted some air.  He confirms his goal is to kill Vader, which Sabé tells him he won't be able to do.  He particularly won't be able to do it after she shoots him.

Again, this issue is better, possibly because I'm resigned to the fact that Soule is going to beat this dead horse.  At some point, though, he really needs to tell us why Sabé is so willing to jump into the Abyss with Vader.

Also Read:  X-Terminators #3

Transformers (1984) #2

First things first, Salicrup takes over writing from Mantol and Macchio with this issue.  It's a pretty seamless transition, probably because we still get an enormous amount of exposition.  For example, over the first few pages, Megatron thought-bubbles about how Starscream is right to criticize his desire to leap into battle and Starscream thought-bubbles about how Megatron is cunning.

This thought-bubbling occurs as the Decepticons attack the still under construction Harrison nuclear power plant.  Megatron seems to realize halfway through the attack that they could use the plant's technology to build a base and create a generator, so he has the Decepticons halt the attack and strip it for parts.  This sequence certainly supports Starscream's criticism that Megatron doesn't think through his plans carefully.

Meanwhile, Buster convinces Sparkplug to repair Bumblebee, who confirms Buster's seemingly outrageous story about alien robots when he transforms into robot mode.  Unlike in the TV show, where the Autobots never seemed to notice the lack of energy, Bumblebee explicitly states his need for fuel.  Sparkplug offers to help the Autobots find a way to convert gas into Transformer-ready fuel.  (Interestingly, Bumblebee identifies Huffer - not Wheeljack - as the Autobots' engineer.)  Bumblebee tells Sparkplug that he'll return to the Ark to inform Optimus about Sparkplug's offer and takes Buster with him so he can see the Ark.

In town, Ravage recognizes Jesse and O from the drive-in.  He transforms into cassette mode and inserts himself into O's boombox just as Jesse and O spot Buster in Bumblebee.  (O is listening to a radio station, and the DJ informs us that Dazzler sang the previous song.  Synergy!)  Buster explains that he and Bumblebee are on their way to the Ark, though Jesse and O still don't believe that Bumblebee is an alien robot.  Bumblebee informs Buster that he's running lower on fuel than he thought, so they return to Sparkplug's garage.  Ravage then leaves to tell Megatron about Sparkplug.

At the Ark, we get a better sense of the dynamics between the Autobots.  It's clear that Optimus has a tougher job managing his larger force than Megatron does his smaller one.  Whereas every Deception except Starscream is loyal to Megatron, Optimus has to deal with the Autobots' more democratic impulses.  For example, Mirage doubts his allegiance to the Autobots when Optimus shoots down his argument that they just take the fuel from the humans.  Despite Ironhide and Ratchet supporting Mirage's call for action, Optimus - with Prowl's support - decides that they'll offer the humans their advanced technology in exchange for fuel.

On cue, Bumblebee makes contact after working with Sparkplug to develop a communications system.  The Autobots all transform into their vehicle modes to go to Sparkplug's garage.  (Of note, Optimus doesn't say "Transform...and roll out!" here.  He says the much less inspiring:  "Autobots, convert to Earth-modes!  Let's move out!")  

By the time the Autobots arrive, Ravage has informed Megatron about Sparkplug, so we get an all-out battle as both sides converge on the garage.  During the melee, Sideswipe uses his rocket backpack, which is part of the reason he's my favorite character.  Calling him "brother" for the first time, Sunstreaker reminds the reader that Sideswipe is burning through fuel that he doesn't have to use it.  We also get another hint that Mirage really isn't into fighting.  Whereas last issue he lamented how he'd rather be hunting turbofoxes than fighting with the Autobots, this issue he tells us that he'd rather be "retro-wing gliding" back on Cybertron.  Who knew Mirage was such a hobbyist?

As the Transformers battle, Megatron grabs Sparkplug but Optimus arrives to stop him.  After Sparkplug miraculously survives the fall from Megatron's grasp, Starscream snatches him and flees.  The Decepticons depart, and Buster begs the Autobots to save Sparkplug.  Optimus obviously wants to do so, but he and the other Autobots begin dropping to the ground due to their low fuel levels.

Thoughts:  With the introductions complete, we're starting to get somewhere here.

As mentioned above, it was always weird that the TV series ignored the Autobots' need for energy despite every episode revolving around the Decepticons' need for it.  Salicrup corrects that mistake and makes it clear that this mini-series is going to focus on both sides' struggles to find power sources to keep them operating, let alone accomplish goals like invading Cybertron (Megatron) or expelling the Decepticons from Earth (Optimus).  

Salicrup also starts showing us some of the powers that Mantol and Macchio had the Transformers exposit last issue.  For example, he explicitly states that Ravage shrinks when he turns into cassette mode, something that I'm pretty sure we never saw the TV series acknowledge.

Finally, Salicrup introducing tension within the Autobot ranks helps make them feel like, well, people and not just robots.  If I'm connecting the dots, Mirage's willingness to plunder Earth is connected to his overwhelming desire just to go home.  It makes you wonder how Optimus convinced him to go on the original mission.  But Ironhide and Ratchet supporting Mirage's preference for action (if for different reasons) lays the groundwork for some interesting stories to come.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The November 23 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #14:  I was upset about Ben's fall during Spencer's run, but damn if the Beyond arc wasn't one of the most intense stories that I've ever read.  Maybe Wells is better at telling other people's stories than his own, because he takes Spencer's ball and fucking runs with it here. 

First things first, Wells addresses Janine.  We learn at the issue's start that Ben is raiding Beyond warehouses with the goal of finding a technology that'lll help him steal Peter's memories.  Janine decides to leave him over his obsession.  As she sits dejectedly picking at her eggs at a café in Grand Central Station, the friendly owner asks what's bothering her.  But Janine has been down this road many times before and realizes the owner is stalling for time after he called the police.  When he begins to judge her for murdering her father, she attacks him and flees.  She realizes that Ben is the only sanctuary she's ever had, so she returns to him and commits to supporting him fully.

Meanwhile, Ben finds himself called to Limbo after he discovers that one of the devices he swiped opens a portal there.  Enter Madelyne Pryor.  This pairing makes perfect sense.  In fact, the only reason that I could see for not getting these two together is that they're from such different corners of the Marvel Universe that I'm sure it required some legwork on the authors' and editors' parts to make it happen.  

Ben and Janine eventually move to Limbo where Ben convinces Madelyne to lend him her demon army to invade New York.  We're not clear why Ben wants to invade New York at this point, but we'll see.  For Madelyne's part, she's starting to wonder if the mutants really gave her what she wanted or simply exiled away a bad memory.

Before the invasion begins, Madelyne powers up Janine using S'ym's finger, introducing us to the worst-named character ever, Hallows' Eve.  Name aside, Wells does a great job showing how this outcome is really the only one that makes sense for Janine.  If she wants to inhabit Ben's world, she needs to do so fully.

The issue ends with Ben standing outside Peter's apartment in the hope of seeing him once last time before he attacks him.  Instead, he runs into the increasingly unhinged debt collector chasing Peter.  The collector (understandably) mistakes Ben for Peter, and Ben mishears the comma and believes that the collector called him a "fake[,] Peter Parker."  Ben loses it and drag the collector to Limbo where we learn that he isn't the nicest of men.  Madelyne has him taste from the Tree of Exquisite Liberation, confirming her theory that it can free a soul from a body.  Guess how Ben wants to use that?

Honestly, I find myself surprisingly stoked about the upcoming "Dark Web" event after this issue.  Go figure.

Miracleman by Gaiman and Buckingham:  The Silver Age #2:  This issue is the finally step in getting us ready for new stories, as Miracleman kisses Dicky at Miraclewoman's urging.  

Miraclewoman is convinced that Dicky has always been in love with Miracelman.  Miracelman sees Dicky's violent reaction to the kiss as proof that she was wrong and that Dicky doesn't love him, though I wouldn't necessarily read it that way.  A devastated Dicky leaves Olympus after telling Miracelman not to follow him, and Miracleman tells Miraclewoman that they need to talk.  The way Buckingham draws that last panel, Miracleman seems to suspect Miraclewoman had ulterior motives for pushing him to kiss Dicky.  

Looking ahead, Dicky seems destined for some role in taking on the Pantheon.  For most of this issue, we're following him as New York throws him a ticker-tape parade.  At the post-parade gala, a "spaceman" appears and rambles.  Winter tells Dicky that it portends great things (the spaceman is a known quantity somehow to her), and Miraclewoman tells Miracleman later that he didn't understand the spaceman's message because it was meant for Dicky.  The intriguing part of said message is the end, when he says, "If sanity consists of adapting to uncover crimes of light."  It isn't hard to see Dicky as the one undercovering Miracelman's well meaning crimes.

Beyond the plot, Gaiman and Buckingham do a spectacular job of showing how awful Miracelman's betrayal is.  Dicky's been alive for days, maybe weeks.  Rather than waiting to address the potential for his feelings when the stress of his reincarnation is less, Miracleman kisses him.  The look of horror and shock on Dicky's face is a testament of Buckingham's skill.  Miracelman's actions send a confused yet powerful adolescent into this carefully crafted world.  We've been down that road before, and it doesn't end well.

Star Wars:  Revelations #1:  As a public-service announcement, I'd warn anyone reading even one of the "Star Wars" series to skip this issue, as it basically just summarizes recent events in each series.  As someone reading all the series except "Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra," I was as annoyed as Vader was.

Star Wars:  Yoda #1:  This issue is solid.  Scott does an excellent job of showing Yoda's ability to focus on doing the right thing when he insists on personally responding to a distress call from Turrak, a backwater planet in the Outer Rim.  But Scott also doesn't make it that easy.

Arriving on Turrak, Yoda helps Sclavi villagers survive Crulkon pirates' third raid in as many days.  Deciding to fight against the galaxy usually works, he decides to stay on the planet.  If I'm reading between the lines correctly, Yoda's decision is motivated from the knowledge that the pirates would simply destroy the village the minute he left.  It's obviously noble, but the Council isn't wrong when it's concerned that his absence from Coruscant will mean more people will suffer in the aggregate.  Yoda clearly knows that, too, so it'll be interesting to explore his thought process as events progress.  

I was worried this series would lean too much into Yoda's more cartoon-y iterations, but Scott really captures Yoda's essence here.  Great stuff.

X-Men #17:  I wasn't really feeling this arc, but Duggan wraps it up beautifully.  

Caliban - or, at least, Caliban's essence - argues with Forge when he decides to leave Laura to find Darwin.  Forge's logic is that the Five have already resurrected her, which he mutters is the second time that they've resurrected someone not actually dead.  (I'm not sure who the other one is.)  Caliban's essence sees Forge as yet another person misusing his gift.

But Forge's search is frustrated when Serafina attacks him.  Duggan doesn't explain how she avoided Forge's trap, but Caliban's kindness - and her apparent debt to the mutants, who previously saved her from Orchis (seriously, don't we do editor's notes anymore?) convinces her to let them leave with Laura.  

Before they can, Darwin contacts Forge in his subconscious, revealing that he turned into code when he needed a way to escape the living autopsies to which the Children of the Vault subjected him.  Darwin declines to leave with Forge, and Forge instead leaves with Laura, the happiest of all possible endings for an overjoyed Synch.  Seriously, it's possibly the only clear romantic win for an X-Men maybe...ever.  Wrapping up a minor mystery, Tempo was the third mutant's gift who Forge used, to make sure that he didn't age in the Vault.

Fascinatingly, Dr. Reyes' medical report about Forge's condition at the issue's end makes it clear that Darwin embedded himself into Forge, since Forge's Cerebro backup "was measured in Zettabytes."  It eventually returned to normal, implying Darwin is now in Krakoa somehow.  I'm sure that'll turn out well.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The November 16 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Captain America & The Winter Soldier Special #1:  I'll admit that Lanzing and Kelly do a great job with each successive issue in making the Outer Circle's ability to influence outcomes more and more believable.  This issue pretty much seals the deal for me.

We begin at the beginning (a very good place to start) as we watch the Power convene the Circle for the first time in 1922.  He is a Latverian prince; the Money is the world's first (secret) multibillionaire, the Machine is Wakanda's former engineering chief, and the Love is Europe's most prominent underground artist.  Brilliantly, the Revolution is Gavrilo Princip, the Serbian student who assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.  He's there to riot against the rest of the Circle's stabs at oligarchy:  to keep them honest, if you will.

As we've seen, he resolves to commit suicide after a century of failing to stop the Circle.  As the Love later informs Bucky, Princip selected Bucky to succeed him because he believed that Bucky could achieve his goal.  The Love warns Bucky that the Money and the Power won the last century through an iron-clad alliance and the Machine is insane, having sacrificed her own child at one point.

But all isn't great for the Circle.  Four of their five Starpoints are off the table:  the Destroyer is dead, Dryad is "self-aware," the Redacted is "malfunctioning," and Bucky is now at the table.  As such, they only have left the Reactor:  Zola.

Elsewhere, Peggy realizes that Bucky was right, and he contacts her, asking her to serve as his Starpoint to help take down the Circle.  The thing I like about this entire arrangement is that he's supposed to do that.  He's an inside agent in a conspiracy, just like the Revolution is supposed to be.  It's what he was trying to tell Steve in "Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty "#6 but Steve wasn't listening.  Somehow I doubt he will now.

Star Wars:  Han Solo & Chewbacca #7:  We get a pretty great jail-break story here, and that's a high bar because I've read a lot of jailbreak stories over the years.  

For the story to work, you have to believe that Phaedra is capable of devising a concoction that makes it seem like Chewie is dead but allows him to revive later.  But she was on the cleaning detail so it's within my reasonable suspension of disbelief to do so.  At some point, Chewie quips to Max that Phaedra reminds him of Han, a similarity underscored when the trio makes it all the way to the landing pad only to discover that the ship Phaedra planned on swiping had departed.  

Thankfully, Han arrives after seeing a news bulletin on the planet where Tanna dumped him about Chewie's pending execution.  The story behind Han's survival is the  issue's only eye-rolling part, as Tanna objected to Greedo shooting Han again after realizing that he wasn't dead yet.  Tanna claims that she isn't a murderer, which...doesn't really track with what we've seen.

All in all, it's a solid end to a tight arc.  The issue concludes with Han brining Phaedra with him and Chewie to find Greedo on Tatooine.  It'll be good for such old friends to catch up.

Star Wars:  Hidden Empire #1:  Ugh.  

To be fair, this issue isn't awful when it comes to the plot.  Qi'ra reveals to Darth Sidious that the Screaming Key, which the Knights of Ren previously stole from Fortress Vader, activates the Fermata Cage.  She's apparently implementing a plan that Darth Maul originally devised.  As she exposits, someone used the Cage to trap an ancient Sith Lord.  Qi'ra wants to unfreeze them so that they can go after Sidious and Darth Vader.  It's a solid plan, honestly.  Sidious seems almost scared.

Qi'ra's problem is that the Archivist can't figure out a way to open the Cage.  She tries using the Knights and technology that a group called the Ascendancy developed to mimic the Dark Side of the Force, but the attempt fails.  Sidious now knows what Qi'ra is planning, so the clock is ticking.   But the Knights quit, leaving the Archivist with limited options.

Again, I'm actually intrigued by all that.  My complaint is that Soule uses an incredible amount of text boxes to get us there.  Qi'ra's conversation with Sidious alone takes up what feels like pages of text.  For a sequel to a sequel of an event that no one seems to want, Soule needs to kick it up a notch in subsequent issues now that he's set the stakes.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The November 9 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

A.X.E.:  Judgment Day - Omega #1:  This issue is almost exclusively focused on the Eternals, so if you're not particularly interested in how they're handling the Judgment Day fall-out you can safely skip it.  

That said, although I don't really follow the Eternals, I was still plenty interested in what Gillen does here.  Zuras declares that Ajak's followers - Ikaris, Kingo, Makkari, Phastos, Sprite, and Thena - are heretics for supporting her reinterpretation of the principles, which puts the Eternals in humanity's service.  He warns that he will Exclude them if their actions go against the principles, so things should get interesting in that corner of the House of Ideas.  Also, the Machine's narration ends with an emoticon, a sign that its personality might still be there, so that's nice.  

Again, I felt this event was one of the better ones in recent memory, and this epilogue doesn't do anything to change that.

Amazing Spider-Man #13:  Oof, this series is just not going well.  

As excited as I was about the Hobgoblin arc when it first started, it ends in a total mess.  It turns out the Goblin Queen was the one using the "Winkler device" on Ned and Roderick in order to manipulate Norman into "becoming his true self again."  She certainly gets him on that road when a still hospital-bound Norman is forced to use an Iron Man-like suit to save Peter.  (He's been watching on the laptop his assistant provided last issue.)

My problem with this issue is that no one seems particularly concerned with the consequences of these events (other than Norman's potential first step on the road back to Goblinhood).  

First things first, Peter is unmasked in front of Ned and Roderick.  I assume that the Winkler device's impact on their memories means that they don't remember that Peter is Spider-Man.  But Peter doesn't know that Goblin Queen mindwipes them after every excursion, so shouldn't he be worried about the fact they both saw him without his mask?

To that point, Wells never explains why Goblin Queen mindwipes them.  Sure, it explains why Roderick was confused in issue #11 when Norman said that he was present when Hobgoblin attacked them.  But why wouldn't the Goblin Queen want him to remember his time as Hogbolin?  Why risk exposing herself to Norman by getting directly involved and not just manipulating Roderick from the shadows?  Along those lines, Norman learns that his assistant didn't bring the laptop to him.  We're clearly supposed to believe that it was Goblin Queen but, again, it was pretty easy for Norman to learn that his staff didn't bring it to him so why risk it?

Also, even if Roderick is mindwiped, Ned isn't.  He's in jail, so it isn't like Goblin Queen can get him into the device.  Shouldn't Peter at least worry that Ned now knows?  Again, we're left to assume that the Winkler device affects his memory enough that he wouldn't remember but stilll.

[Sigh.]  Once again, I'm finding myself on the "obligation," and not "enjoyment," end of the reading "Amazing Spider-Man" spectrum.

Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty #6:  Honestly, I'm Team Bucky on this one.  

Bucky makes a pretty compelling case that entities like the Outer Circle are only defeated by people on the inside, which is why he needs to take the Revolution's place.  But, as always, Steve decides that he knows what's best and they come to blows.  

Of course, part of Steve's objection comes from his disapproval that Bucky killed someone (i.e., the Revolution).  Lanzing and Kelly use Steve's tantrum to underscore his blindspot when it comes to what Bucky is trying to tell him, that he's always been the one to do the dirty work so he understands the Circle better than Steve does.  

Hopefully Sharon will take some sense into Steve next issue.

WildC.A.Ts #1:  I'm pretty stoked about the WildC.A.Ts' relaunch even if it isn't part of Ellis' amazing "The Wild Storm" series from a few years ago.

Rosenberg throws us right into the action as Grifter, Deathblow (i.e., Michael Cray), and Zealot invade a H.I.V.E. lab to try to recruit a scientist named Tremont for Marlowe.  (We don't really establish why Marlowe can't just, like, ask him to send a resume.)  We begin in media res as (a chattier and more charming than usual) Grifter explains the Dhaemonite-Kherubim war to a security guard.  He's trying to convince the guard that he's unknowingly working for the Dhemonites, but Zealot just kills the guard instead, telling Grifter that his stories are "getting stranger" (thus implying that, in this iteration, the Dhaemonite-Kherubim war didn't happen).

But Grifter fucks up the mission when he shoots Tremont because he (Tremont) killed a chimpanzee that he's using as a lab animal just to prove how useful he can be.  Shortly before Nightwing and Cassandra Cain arrive, the team departs the lab for the still under construction Halo Building in Star City.  Marlowe informs Cray and Zealot that he's adding Fairchild to the team due to their recent failures.  When they balk, he brings them to Adrianna who confirms that she wants Fairchild on the roster.  Based on this exchange and another one later in the issue, it appears Adrianna is more in charge than Marlowe.

At a bar, Grifter tells a fellow patron about how the Anti-Life Equation took over his Earth and he and his companions fled through the Multiverse to this Earth.  (Did that happen?)  It turns out the patron is a scientist at Althea Labs, and Grifter swipes his badge before two heavies try to kill him for his role in killing Mrs. Freeze and Toyman.  (Really?  Did that happen?)  Grifter spends a night in jail, and Marlowe springs him the next morning with his hulking blond bodyguard Jack Colt, who some Googling made me realize is Spartan.

Of course, the mission at Althea also goes badly, and we learn Cray's death is his third one this month.  Also, all the scientists are dead for reasons that aren't clear, as we begin this segment in media res as well.  Maxine - the team's coordinator - has Grifter use Fairchild to escape, though they eventually find themselves in a sub-basement surrounded by the Court of Owls.  That'll go well.

Beyond just the joy of seeing the WildC.A.Ts in action, Rosenberg underlines how integrated the team now is in the DC Universe.  I'm not sure how I feel of that, to be honest.  I don't know if I really want Grifter fighting Green Arrow, as he does here, but I could be persuaded otherwise.  We'll see.

Also Read:  Minor Threats #3; Moon Knight #17

Transformers (1984) #1

Between my son discovering my Soundwave action figure and me building Lego's recent Optimus Prime set, I decided it was time to get going on my long-standing goal of reading the original "Transformers" series.  Away we go!

The series was originally a four-issue mini-series.  In order to convey all the information we need to understand the Transformers, the authors resort to an incredible number of text boxes.  At some points, it's hard even to see the action.  The first issue's first page is a great example of this trait as we get a lot of information thrown at us.  

First and foremost, we're told Cybertron is a "Saturn-sized" planet that orbits Alpha Centauri.  The Transformers apparently  evolved from "the interaction of naturally occurring gears" [emphasis added].  Notably, the planet's - and Transformers' - origins are lost to the "dead past" (despite us seemingly knowing the gears developed "naturally).

Shockingly, Ravage has the series' first word, spoken to Megatron.  Megatron exposits that the Decepticons have lived in peace with the Autobots for eons but have bided their time to strike at those who brought the "stagnation of peace and prosperity" to Cyberton.  I get why a committed warrior like Megatron could find peace "stagnant" but prosperity?  How do you get so mad at prosperity?  I guess it reduces the number of lifeforms susceptible to falling into Megatron's thrall.

At any rate, Megatron launches his war.  The Deceptions' advanced technology allows them to transform into "weapons of unprecedented power" (e.g., Megatron, whose fusion cannon can apparently destroy entire Autobot strongholds).  The war causes Cybertron to spin from its orbit and costs "billions" of Autobot lives.  (Cybertron becoming a rogue planet is one of the more interesting deviations from the cartoon series that we see in this issue.)  Megatron's goal is to turn Cybertron into a "cosmic dreadnought," presumably so he can conquer the galaxy.

The tide turns when Optimus Prime emerges from Iacon, Cybertron's most powerful city-state.  Mantol and Macchio inform us that only Megatron can match Optimus' vehicle form's firepower.

Other than the "spinning from its orbit" revelation, this exposition's description of the status quo on Cybertron more or less matches the TV series' plot at the start, mostly providing some interesting extra details.  We deviate soon, however.

The rogue Cybertron enters an asteroid field and someone has to clear the way.  Enter Optimus and his team of Autobots boarding the Ark.  Interestingly, it's Ravage, not Laserbeak, who gathers this information after eavesdropping on an Autobot meeting.  (Ravage allegedly "absorbs electromagnetic radiation," which is how he remained undetected.)

Of course, it turns out the asteroid belt is the one between Mars and Jupiter, setting up how the Ark eventually crashed into Earth.  Allegedly, the Autobots were so exhausted from clearing the asteroids that they're helpless against the Deceptions (who seek to take out Optimus while he and his team are vulnerable).  With no good options, Optimus activates his fall-back plan to crash the Ark into Earth to take out the Decepticons with them.  (How...prescient.)  

At this point, we return to the TV series' storyline.  "Mt. St. Hilary" erupts, activating one of the Ark's sensor drones, which departs the Ark to scan 1984 Earth.  The authors remind us that the Decepticons had advanced technology on Cybertron and imply it's why they wind up having a more diverse range of Earth forms, mostly communications devices, jets, and weapons.  Conversely, the Autobots wind up being mostly vehicles that the Ark's drone saw on an Oregon highway.

The authors then deliver the most text-based page I've ever seen in a comic.  The Decepticons introduce themselves to...themselves and explain their powers to...themselves:  Skywarp (teleportation), Thundercracker (rockets and sonic booms), Starscream (maneuverability and speed), Rumble (low-frequency "ground-waves"), Frenzy (high-pitched sound waves), Soundwave (monitor transmissions, read "electrical impulses," and photographic memory), Ravage (a nose module that allows him to "smell, hear and detect electromagnetic radiation"), Buzzsaw (powerful optical sensors), and Laserbeak (optical lasers).  Some of these "powers" aren't exactly clear, like how Ravage can "hear" and "smell" electromagnetic radiation.  But it's 1984 so I'm just going with it.

Beyond Buzzsaw and Lazerbeak's abilities to speak (as seen earlier with Ravage), the most interesting revelations to me were that Frenzy and Rumble actually have different powers and that Starscream is (at least somewhat) loyal to Megatron at the start ("I...shall accumulate Autobot body-count that enhance the reputation of our leader.").

Unlike the TV series, the authors do a solid job explaining why the Decepticons don't just end the Autobotos in the Ark.  Instead of the Ark resurrecting Skywarp who then resurrects the Decepticons (as we see in the TV show), the Ark resurrects everyone at the same time.  Megatron notes to a questioning Starscream that "one of our mightiest is missing" (huh?) and they're low on fuel so they might lose.  To underline that point, the Autobots open fire on them as they leave.

We now get more text, this time with the Autobot line-up:  Ironhide (steel-alloy skin and liquids), Huffer (stress-testing sensors and mathematical skill), Bumblebee (low fuel needs), Sunstreaker (ground-to-air missiles and hotness), Cliffjumber (fast and glass gas), Brawn (strong), Sideswipe (piledriver arms), Mirage (electro-disrupter, which can disrupt circuits and project his mirages), Bluestreak (fast), Prowl (logic circuits that identify the most advantageous course of action), Jazz (photon rifle and overhead flamethrowers), Hound (infrared radiation collector and terrain map-projecting hologram gun), Windcharger (magnetic arms), Gears (serves as a mobile transport unit), Ratchet (tools to fix anything), Wheeljack (shoulder cannons), and Trailbreaker (force-field projector).

First, it's crazy we have 18 Autobots but only ten Decepticons (and five of the Decepticons are Soundwave's cassettes).  The most interesting revelations on the Autobot side are that Bumblebee apparently likes swimming (?) and Ironhide and Ratchet have their terrible toy-consistent designs.  The Autobots also have a lot more personality than the Decepticons.  Similar to the TV show, Huffer is pessimistic, Sunstreaker is vain, Mirage is a reluctant warrior (he'd rather hunt turbofoxes on Cybertron), and Bluesreak is chatty.  Unlike the TV show, Ratchet would apparently rather be "partying than tinkering."  Who knew?  Also, did you notice how many Autobots' powers were just being fast?

Of course, the series' most interesting twist is that Buster, not Spike, is Sparkplug's son.  Unlike Spike (who starts the TV series as child labor on an oil rig), Buster is a nerd, much to his father's disappointment.  (The authors show Sparkplug is just worried about how a kid without skills will survive.)  Lest we think he's a gay, though, Buster gets hot and heavy with his girlfriend Jesse at a drive-in while his friend "O" tries to watch (allegedly the movie) from the backseat.  Maybe Buster is gay and just likes to make "O" jealous?

At any rate, Buster and company are on hand when the Autobots stumble upon the drive-in.  Laserbeak observes them and, to Starscream's disapproval, Megatron dispatches the Decepticons to attack.  The Seekers open fire, and Bumblebee takes the brunt of the attack in vehicle mode.  Cliffjumper turns the Seekers' wings to gas, forcing them to retreat, and Hound dispatches Ravage with his holograms.  Cliffjumper and Prowl take on Soundwave, who's confusingly colored like Megatron.  

The Autobots realize the humans (and not the vehicles) are Earth's dominant lifeforms  and depart given their inability to protect themselves from the Decepticons.  They leave behind Bumblebee, who they hope fled.  Instead, Buster heard him cry in pain when the Seekers wounded him and drove him to his father's garage, where he's dying.

Thoughts:  As mentioned, the authors introduce the Transformers in a way that fills in some gaps that I truthfully hadn't noticed in the TV series but make their backstory more interesting.  That said, the series' focus stays the same:  Megatron realizes that the Decepticons can strip-mine Earth for resources to conquer the galaxy, and Optimus understands that the now-inhabited Earth needs protection from the Decepticons.  

My only complaint at this stage is that the coloring is pretty awful.  You can tell the limitations that colorists faced in this era, as Yomtov struggles to stay within the confines of all the small details.  By the end, though, he's also frequently off model, making it hard to tell characters apart (particularly the Seekers).  Given how many similar models there are (particularly on the Autobot side), it leads to some serious confusion at times.

All in all, though, it's a pretty solid comic, particularly for the fact that it's there mostly to sell a toy line.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The November 2 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Astronaut Down #4:  This issue is best enjoyed if you accept the metaphysical explanations at face value.

Newly arrived in another reality (again), Douglas hears from this reality's scientists that they just sent out their own astronauts when Douglas appeared.  Due to what the scientists call "shift theory," Douglas shifted to this reality almost immediately after its Douglas departed his body, since "neighboring realities have only slight variations and would be in the same crises and attempting the same mission."  This part I accept (more or less).

However, I raised an eyebrow at the next part, where the scientists explain that, by imbedding their reality's cure equation in every astronaut's consciousness pack, they ensure the neighboring realities would do the same.  First, I'm now sure about the causal directionality there.  It implies that events aren't happening independently in each reality.  In other words, the cancer might have occurred in Set B of realities only because it occurred sui generis in Set A of neighboring realities.  Second, if they had the cure, why did they need Douglas?  Did their cure not work in their reality?  At any rate, as I said, it's easier to accept it at face value:  Douglas arrives in this reality with the cure, which we know he found in his previous reality.  

The rest of the issue focuses on Douglas' guilt over saving this reality but not his own one.  Complicating matters, this reality's Maddie proposes they get together.  Douglas doesn't initially respond, but he later activates a message from Dr. Engle in which she confirms that they knew his mission may only save another reality.  She encourages him to live his life wherever he is, and he and Maddie get together.

Of course, just as Maddie tells Douglas she wants a baby, this new reality's scientists inform Douglas that they think they can send back his consciousness to his reality if they can retrieve some equipment from a warehouse in an area where the cancer's control is fading.  Of course, Douglas would die in said mission.  Poor Douglas.

Batman #129:  The irony of this issue is that the fight between Batman and Failsafe is almost boring.  

Just before Failsafe arrives in Atlantis and captures Aquaman, Bruce escapes to the Moon-based Watchtower.  He's surprised Failsafe makes it there as quickly as he does but manages to do some damage to him thanks to a gun that involves "three quadrillion watts and New Genesis steel."  

Batman then pulls a "Superman 2:"  figuring Failsafe destroyed all the Justice League's teleporters except one - which would inevitably lead him to a similar "Home Alone"-esque gauntlet the Justice League encountered in Gotham - Batman reversed the, I don't know, polarities.  As such, he sends Failsafe to the Hall of Justice, where he was planning on running Batman through said gauntlet.  But for some reason doing so caused the Watchtower to explode, leaving Batman floating in space with few options.  

Again, it's action-packed, but we're watching Bruce match wits essentially against himself, which makes it feel clinical.  We really need to amp up the emotional stakes with the Bat-family's lives on the line to make this arc as legendary as I think it's going to be.

Blade Runner:  Black Lotus #4:  This issue is a disappointing end to a disappointing series.  

First, Collins throws us an unnecessary curveball when it turns out one of the "hostages," Preston, was the one who initially betrayed the co-op.  He collided with Barnes to set up the assassination attempt on Miguel and the kidnapping of the hostages.  Why, you ask?  Because he loved Nyoko!  Men are such dummies.

After Elle defeats Preston, Kozlov sets up Miguel when he demands that he meet him alone at Junktown for "negotiations."  Despite Junkett warning Miguel that Kozlov was in town stirring up the townspeople against the co-op, Miguel insists on going - alone - because...I don't know, peace.  If he's really such an idiot, I'm surprised he survived his time as a Blade Runner.  

Elle rushes ahead of Miguel to fight Kozlov, forcing him to confess Barnes' scheme to the townspeople.  But she's such a fucking idiot that she goes full Replicant on a guy who barely has a face at this point, raising the townspeople's suspicions.  She decides that she has to leave to keep the co-op safe, which in and of itself doesn't make sense.  Making matters worse, she decides not to say good-bye, even with a wailing Kaja begging her not to leave.  She literally just gets on her spinner bike and tells the co-op folks to have a good life.

Elle deserved better than this series.

Star Wars #29:  I wanted to like this issue.  After all, it does what I've been asking Soule to do, to refocus on the main characters after his recent attempts at telling stories involving marginal characters haven't worked so well.  

Here, Amilyn Holdo bringing Chewbacca, Lando, Leia, and Luke on a wild goose chase to find the legendary lost Kezarat convoy and its hundred tankers full of tibanna coaxium.  We even get some surprisingly great banter between Amilyn and Lando.

But something about the issue's flow is clunky.  Maybe it's because Amilyn keeps going to ridiculous lengths to keep the plan from Leia, all under the guise that they're just on a vacation.  Maybe it's because Soule is forced to jam Amilyn's eventual explanation into too few panels after spending so much time setting up the denouement.  Whatever it is, meh.

X-Men Red #8:  Ewing exhibits a masterful control over the pace and tone of this story as he weaves together several seemingly unconnected events into drama.

Cable recruits a team to find a sample of his techno-organic virus that a race called the Progenitors stole from him.  (I would've appreciated an editor's note here to give me a little more information about when that happened.)  He explains that it involves eventually taking out Abigail Brand, though going about it the long way.

Using their combined resources, the team finds the virus on a planet in the gap between galaxies and stumbles upon the entities who buried Vulcan's dark side in "X-Men (2019)" #10.  Intrigued by the entitites' creepiness when the team finds them in some form of stasis, Cable (somehow) activates their memories.  The team (conveniently) sees their memories regarding tinkering with Vulcan.  Before Cable can warn anyone, Orbis Stellaris attacks, as he's apparently the progenitor of the Progenitors.

Meanwhile, the Kree-Skrull Alliance has called a diplomatic meeting in the Diplomatic Zone of Lake Hellas on Arakko to inform the Galactic Council that "new information" has come to light showing the Shi'ar were behind a massacre at a place called Shapeless Ridge.  (The Kree actually committed said killings during a lull in the Kree-Skrull War.)  Xandra arrives and confirms the information, as it was one of the Ten Shames the Kin Crimson was trying to hide.  Before Xandra and Paibok can agree to compensation, an unhinged Vulcan arrives at Lake Hellas to declare himself King of the Shi'ar.  The issue ends showing a gleeful Abigail Brand exulting in her plan coming to fruition.

In the back matter, we learn about said plan. Brand worked with Orbis Stellaris because he could retrieve Vulcan from the Fault and make him docile until Brand needed him not to be.  In exchange, Orbis Stellaris got "credits up front and favors down the line."  Brand also leaked the information about Shapeless Ridge to the Alliance.  By unleashing Vulcan at that moment, she ensured (to her mind) a Shi'ar civil war between Vulcan and Xandra while they're also fighting off the Alliance.

Honestly, I'm shocked by how much Brand's plan makes sense.  In order to strengthen the Sol system, she's unleashing war among (and within) our rivals.  Moreover, she's positioning Sol as the peacemaker.  The only problem with her plan that I can see is her hope that the X-Men will force the Arakkii to return to Amenth and S.W.O.R.D. will take over Arakko as a "diplomatic world."  But given how successful she's been so far, I don't put it past her to make that happen.

Also, as a Nova fan, let me just say that I love how the Arakkii acknowledge him as one of them given his heroics in the face of Uranos.  It's the respect he so deserves and rarely gets.

Also Read:  Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #28