Friday, April 5, 2024

Ten-Month Old Comics!: The May 3 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars #34:  So much talking.  Soule is clearly setting up a huge story here, so I'll give him a pass.  But.  SO.  MUCH.  TALKING.

This arc focuses on Luke finding a way to fix his lightsaber.  I'll admit that I'm a little lost on which lightsaber has at this point.  He mentions the one Obi-Wan gave him, though I'm pretty sure he lost that one in "Empire Strikes Back" when Vader cut off his hands.  I don't totally recall how he got this one other than a vague memory of him finding it in a room full of artifacts in this series?  Maybe?

At any rate, he loses himself a little when he tells Artoo how strange this one now feels, and he heads to Christophsis, which is apparently the only place other than Ilum (which any player of "Star Wars Jedi" knows the Empire has locked down tight) that routinely produces kyber crystals.

He heads to a cantina to put out word that he's an interested buyer, and a woman named Gretta saves him from himself.  She reveals that the outpost runs on the bartender luring in a mark who wants a kyber crystal and then everyone taking him hostage and selling him to the Empire.  Luke is petulant as ever after Gretta kills everyone planning on kidnapping him, telling her that she doesn't know for sure they would've sold him to the Empire (despite the fact that they obviously would).  But Gretta is a fan:  she knew who Luke was from conversations on the "dark channels."

Gretta offers to bring Luke to the kyber, though Luke is super moralistic about her "being a killer," despite, you know, his own body count.  (The Jedi are always self-righteous and squishy on this point.)  Gretta reveals that her family was from Jedha, so his attack on the Death Star avenged their deaths.  

Luke leaves Artoo and heads into the Wastes with Gretta to meet a guy named Cuata.  He apparently worked with people like Galen Erso on the kyber crystals that the Empire used to make the Death Star's weapon, something I didn't realize used kyber crystals until now.  (It makes it all the cooler, to be honest.)  When his colleagues started disappearing, Cuata fled to the Wastes to continue his research.  After fleeing a creature, a concussed Gretta and Luke encounter Cuata.

As I said, this issue is way too wordy.  But it's an intriguing story, so I'm willing to accept a wordy issue to pave the way for the greatness to come.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #33:  Ugh.  I don't know why I'm bothering with this series.   Pak can't put Sabé behind him.  It was one thing when she was the arc's main focus, but she's really shoehorned in here.  

The story is ostensibly about the Force Wave that the Fermata Cage's destruction in "Star Wars:  Hidden Empire" #5 unleashed.  For reasons that aren't clear to me, the Wave causes a surge in the Force in this issue, delighting Palpatine and terrifying Vader.  Vader nearly takes out the Executor as he loses control of his powers, though Sabé (of course) manages to expel him from the ship after he breaches the hull.  She then collects his unconscious body as it floats in space and takes him to an uninhabited planet where he destroys their shuttle mid-flight.  

I know Sabé's resourcefulness is supposed to impress me here.  She pilots the disintegrating shuttle!  She grabs Vader mid-air with her winged jetpack!  Instead, it's all just as eye roll-inducing as it ever is.  To make matters weirder, Vader decides the entire episode is all about Sabé and her need to choose between her old life and her new one.  Sure.  Whatever, I don't care (to quote my son).

Star Wars:  Return of the Jedi - Lando #1:  This one-shot is fun and addresses a question I hadn't really pondered, namely how Artoo, Chewie, Lando, Leia, and Luke executed the plan to free Han as well as they did (or, well, as well as they managed).  (I didn't mention Threepio on purpose since, well, he wasn't really all that helpful.)  

Lando approaches a contact named Narin who's in possession of a map of Jabba's Palace.  As Lando goes to win the money Narin wants for the map, Narin contacts the Imps for Lando's bounty.  Lando tries to win the money from another contact, Elocin.  It's clear that she has a history with all three scoundrels and, against her better judgement, agrees to play Lando for the credits...after Chewie offers himself as the ante, agreeing to complete ten jobs for Elocin if she wins.  Their game is disturbed, though, when Narin arrives with the Imps, though Chewie, Elocin, and Lando make quick work of them.  

Chewie and Lando escape, and Elocin later sends them the plans, clearly harboring the affection for the scoundrels that Lando hoped she had.

Star Wars:  Yoda #7:  I'll admit I'm just reading this series because I feel like I should.  I like it better than "Star Wars:  Darth Vader," but it isn't all that interesting.  

Guggenheim goes down the well trod path of "size matters not" here as Yoda stumbles upon discovering that the Separatists are building "megadroids."  At least it wasn't the Death Star, which I assumed it was.  That said, that pleasant surprise made me realize the extent to which so many series in the "Star Wars" line are falling back on fleshing out previously told stories instead of telling anything knew.  It stands in contrast to the first few arcs of Aaron's "Star Wars," which were amazingly fresh.  To that end, I have to give Guggenheim credit for breaking the recent pattern.

But it isn't like a story where Anakin and Yoda try to stop a General Grievous plan is remotely new to anyone who watched "The Clone Wars."  Again, it wasn't terrible, but I'm left wondering what the point is.

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