Wednesday, December 11, 2024

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The April 17 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #12:  Happily, Johnson ends on a high note here as we get to see Ash and Niander Wallace, Jr. circle each other like prize fighters.  Like any good fight, it ends in a draw, the future uncertain.

Starting right where we left off last issue, Wallace, Jr. again promises to heal Ash.  His price?  Isobel.  He calls in a good squad of five Replicants I vaguely recognize, and Ash tells him that she has bullets for everyone.  Wallace, Jr. promises not to hurt Isobel, and Ash tells him, in a very Ash-like way, that Isobel's life isn't Ash's to barter.  Wallace, Jr. then orders his minions to take out Ash and tells a still hogtied Luv that he'll return for her.

Outside, Wallace, Jr. enters his spinner to find another goon unconscious or dead and Ash in the driver's seat.  Ash confirms the "Ash" inside is Rash, and Wallace, Jr. ponders the fact that he hasn't, in fact, perfected the obedience protocol.  As Ash and Wallace, Jr. head "home," Rash takes out the goons and then stares at Luv, repeating her statement that she has enough bullets.  It's the last time we see Luv, and it isn't clear if Rash frees or kills her.

Ash lands at a destroyed apartment and informs Wallace, Jr. that it's the private sanctum of Dr. Eldon Tyrell, where he was murdered.  Wallace, Jr. repeats his offer, telling Ash she'll die within a year if she doesn't accept his help.  Ash tells him that her conditions for keeping him alive are to leave Cleo and Isobel alone and stop making Replicant Blade Runners.  As he finds a piece of origami, Wallace, Jr. simply says, "Checkmate."  

But he asks Ash what'll keep him to his promise after she dies, and she tells him that he'll be too busy.  She hands him Selwyn's research, which obviates his need for Isobel.  Wallace, Jr. is stunned, and Ash says she wants him to make so many Replicants who'll then make Replicants that they eventually outnumber the humans.  Wallace, Jr. asserts that he'll control them and, recalling Rash, Ash notes that he's too arrogant.

Later, Ash sends Cleo and Isobel on their way, this time with Rash, who'll protect them.  Sitting on a rooftop ledge, Freysa is furious that Ash gave Wallace, Jr. "the future."  Ash tells her that she'd do it again and is just glad she gets to spend that future with Freysa.  Yay!  I was worried these two weren't going to make it.

In her narration that ends the series, Ash says that she doesn't really know if she'll die within a year or "ten more" (an important number, obviously, since it'd bring us to 2049), but she's grateful for whatever time she gets.  I was just grateful to spend this time with Ash.  It's been a spectacular series of series from start to finish, and I can't wait to see where Johnson goes with this world.

Cobra Commander #4:  First things first, part of this series' charm is Milana's art, which perfectly matches Williamson's script in its mysteries and shadows.

The issue begins with a terrified Dreadnok opening a cap to an underground bunker for CC who makes his way through the tunnel as a voice tells him that he's working as fast as he can and begs him not to hurt him.  CC discovers the Dreadnoks were keeping a crazy scientist locked in the tunnel.

Zander, Zarana, and Buzzer are hiding from Protector, and Zander proposes they use "the Juice" against him, given its explosive nature.  Shoving Buzzer into Protector's path, Zandar beelines for the Dreadnoks' base as Zarana searches for any still-living Dreadnok, calling after Zandar that they can't leave behind their family.  Zander's plan works long enough for him to get an airboat, and Zarana manages to get Buzzer and Torch on it as they escape.

In the laboratory, the scientist tells CC the Dreadnoks harvested Energon in its raw form and he found a way to covert it into energy.  CC observes the scientist has more Energon than the swamps could provide, and the scientist says he learned to use other forms of radiation to expand it (though he admitted he can't duplicate it).  CC puts four spider-bots drones on a lab table, and the scientist uses Energon to charge them.

CC heads topside where he encounters Protector, whom he finally calls by his name, Nemesis.  CC orders the guy who opened the cap for him to give him the name of all the Dreadnok's buyers.  He then tells Nemesis that it's time to leave, but Nemesis turns on him now that the mission is complete.  CC is outraged Golobulus betrayed him, though I'm not entirely sure Nemesis isn't acting on his own.  

But CC is no slouch and attacks Nemesis with a chainsaw.  Nemesis tries to rip off CC's mask, shrugging off the electrical charge that accompanies the attempt.  Nemesis flies CC into the air and drops him.  Surviving the fall, CC insults Nemesis for thinking CC didn't see this betrayal coming and has his spider-bots form an Iron Man-esque glove.  He then inserts a container of Energon into it and blasts Nemesis in half.

In the swamp, the Dreadnok from the cap is still running, but CC finds him.  The Dreadnok tells him his face looks like puke, and CC forces him to confess they only had one buyer:  Destro.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Kill Your Darlings #8:  This issue probably should've been two issues or an even longer extended issue, as Parker and Sheridan are forced to rush through some sequences given how much ground they cover here.  For example, I would've liked for Quinn to have more space to show the final confrontation between the Witch's minions and the Rosewoodians, which mostly gets crammed into a single page with too many panels.  All that said, it's still a satisfying ending to a great saga.

In a distant land, Wallace tells President Mayor Starlight that he and the Rosewoodians are going to set sail the next morning as the Great Evil is on their trail.  Wallace thanks Starlight for keeping them safe as well as harboring...something all these years.

On a nearby beach, Rose is trying to use the Witch's spell book to cast spells, to no avail.  Elliott tries to comfort a frustrated Rose, but she rants that she needs to learn these spells so she can send Elliott home.  Elliott tells her that he isn't going "home."  When Rose starts talking about his family, he tells her that he's been watching his family wither slowly in front of him his entire life.  He couldn't help his mom as she slid into dementia or his dad as he slid into alcoholism.  But he can save the other person he loves:  Rose.  He tells Rose that if he returns to Earth to water his mother's garden, it'll be with Rose.  Rose impulsively kisses him and then they sit together in an awkward if companionable silence.

Interrupting the moment (welcomely), Wallace arrives with a shattering crystal, which Rose recognizes as the Silver Flame of Kichendror (the item Starlight kept hidden).  The crystal starts to crack, and we see an eye peek at us through the opening.

We then fast-forward eight years.  The Witch is sitting on a throne surrounded by the ghosts of her fellow witches that she couldn't save.  We watch as a desiccated Evil bursts into the throne room to tell the Witch that Rose is coming.  Rose enters, and the Witch tells her that she shouldn't have come by herself.  Rose responds, in a wonderful moment that shows how much she's grown, "Oh, Eleanor, when have I ever been alone?"

On cue, outside, Wallace and the Rosewoodians attack the Witch's minions, who are the captured Rosewoodians that the Witch has changed to look like villagers (as she did last issue with he "parents").  Wallace hits one of them with an arrow that has a glowing purple potion at its tip, and the potion turns the villager back into its Rosewoodian self.  In the castle, the Witch gives her waning power to Evil, who grows several stories tall, exploding from the castle.  The Witch gloats, recalling Rose's fear when she first confronted Evil in that cave.  But her gloating doesn't last, as a bright eagle-like creature (i.e., the Silver Flame of Kichendror), with a bearded and sexy AF Elliott riding her, attacks Evil.

The Witch then attacks Rose, who bring out Francine MK 2.  We see all the battles taking place, in the aforementioned busy panel, as the Rosewoodians deliver more potions.  The Witch traps Rose in vines, but Rose reminds her she read her book and returns the favor.  Encasing the Witch in a cage made of vines, Rose tells her it ends her way, with no more bloodshed.  

Rose recalls that her mother told her that you have to make friends with your monsters and ponders whether they're all not monsters.  She undoes the vine cage and tells the Witch that she's sorry for what her mother did and the pain she left behind her.  Rose tells the Witch she always wanted to hate her mother, but she just found herself missing her instead.  She confesses she wants to hate the witch, too, but she read her book and knows how much pain she's suffered.  She tells the Witch she probably imagines there isn't much human left inside her, and the Witch expresses shock that Rose is willing to free her after all she's done.  Rose tells the Witch that she can't forgive her all her sins, but she can forgive what she's done to her.

The Witch says it doesn't make sense, and Rose says she should know that nothing does.  She talks about how she created all theses stories because she needed to make sense of everything.  She thought the Witch was just the villain who tried to steal her story.  Returning to the comment last issue that made me laugh — the Witch telling Rose that Rose's pain was the Witch's story — Rose tells her that the story is their story.  (As she does, we see a young Rose clutching Wallace looking at a young Eleanor with fire around her feet.)

Rose then helps the Witch to her feet.  Outside, Evil gloats to Elliott that he can see in his eyes that he never left him, but, before he can kill him, the Witch tells Evil to stop.  Evil reminds the Witch she promised him deaths, and the Silver Flame strikes, ripping out Evil's heart.  A much reduced Evil tells the Witch that she broke the pact and knows what doing so means.  As Evil gloats over the pain awaiting the Witch, Rose cuts him in half with Francine Mk 2, telling the Witch that she made an exception to her "no killing" rule.

Suddenly, a portal to a "realm of Terrors" opens.  The Witch wonders if she actually birthed "this plane of blood and torment," her version of Rosewood.  Rose tells her that she doesn't have to enter the portal, and the Witch responds that she broke a blood oath with "their kind."  Her soul is her penance, but she notes that she's always felt at home among the flames.  As she enters, the Witch tells Rose that she's sorry for the horror she inflicted on the Wilderlands and hopes Rose can save it to make it all mean something.

Later, Rose and Elliott joins the Rosewoodians.  The "villagers" aren't right in the head, as Wallace notes, saying they're going to need help.  Recalling the first time she created Rosewood — on the back of a menu at the diner where her mother worked, after her mother asked her to draw Wallace's homeland — Rose tries to save Rosewood.  Unfortunately, she can't.  

As Rose and Wallace lament her failure, though, a door to Earth suddenly opens.  They all walk through it, and Elliott wonders if the Rosewoodians are going to break people's brains.  But a little girl runs to Wallace and throws her arms around him as the rest of the Rosewoodians enter.

In an epilogue, 16 years later, Rose works on lesson plans as Elliott happily works in the garden.  Her son draws a picture where he's an astronaut facing a Star Eater, who's scary.  Rose then draws a large sword in the astronaut's hand and says, "Doesn't look so scary to me."

I mean, I'm exhausted just writing this review, let alone what it would've been like to live the story told here.  As I said, I wish Parker and Sheridan had more pages to tell this story, because I still feel like we rushed past important moments.  But they still stick the landing.  In the end, it's a story of broken people who don't always respond to adversity in the best way.  In the end, though, Rose had her friends and Eleanor had no one.  By understanding that, Rose is able to forgive Eleanor and save them both.

Go forth and be excellent to each other, y'all.

The Weatherman, Vol. 3 #4:  Man, this series keeps getting grimmer and grimmer.

Hovering above Venus, Jenner throws the biohphagus plague onto the frontier colony of "Resilience," with a population of 31,536 people.  

Meanwhile, in Redd Bay on Mars, a Gambit-looking figure fires sedatives into two M.S.A. guards standing watch on Nate's old apartment.  He makes his way into the apartment and searches for something.  

Elsewhere on Mars, the media are reporting on the incoming election results when they turn to a breaking news story, the arrival of the biophagus plague on Venus.  Outside the Martian president's residence, an enormous crowd gathers demanding Burga's death and for Cyrus to save them.  Burga watches the crowd and ponders aloud that she thought they could win.  Jared tries to reassure her, telling her that only 85% of the districts have reported their results.  But Burga isn't talking about the election:  she's talking about how she thought humanity would find a way to avoid what happened on Earth and that she would lead humanity to that success.  Jared expresses his faith in Burga and Agent Cross, but Burga tells him it might be time to plan for the idea that they might not make it this time.

Suddenly, Zane interrupts their conversation, saying the protestors are ready to break into the residence.  Zane recommends nuking Venus to stop the spread, though Burga notes it didn't work on Earth.  As Burga exits her office, she's met by Zane and a group of gun-toting guards aiming their weapons at her.   A coup!

Above Venus, Cross and the Marshal try to figure out why Jenner used his "magic bullet" on Venus, with its one million people, instead of dropping it on Mars, with its 10 billion people.  The Marshal hypothesizes that he's trying to amp up the dread, but they can't figure out how he's going to get the virus to Mars.  Meanwhile, White Light sees a news article about someone kidnapping a prominent physicist and throws her coffee cup at Cross' head to get her attention.  (It's pretty hilarious.)  She then points to a hypergate.

At a laboratory in a facility "elsewhere," the kidnapped physicist, Dr. Kanbe, tells Jenner that they need to activate the fusion generator in the basement to open a hypergate.  It becomes clear that they're going to send the infected Venusians through this hypergate to Mars as we see Molly herding them to the facility.  But Kanbe warns Jenner the generator will eventually collapse and informs him they'll need to open the gate once a device she hands them lights green.  Kanbe then tells Jenner that she doesn't know what Jenner is planning but demands that he keep her family safe as part of their deal.  (Really?  You don't know what he's planning to do with a hypergate, even though you know his reputation?)  Jenner pledges that they'll live out their days on a luxury space vessel (he lies, obviously) and then shoots her.

On Mars, the crowds break down the gates outside the residence, and Zane has the guards open fire.  On the team's ship, White Light identifies the facility on Mars with a strong enough power source to keep open a hypergate, and Cross calls Burga to tell her the plan.  Burga notes that hypergates are "space phenomena" that they use where they find them, and Cross informs her of Kanbe's research.  Burga promises to try to organize a strike but informs Cross of the coup and that Zane has seized the military.  Burga says it'll take an hour, and Cross says they don't have that long.  Looking at Jared's dead body (he got caught in some crossfire), Burga tells Cross it's all on her now.

As she prepares to head to the facility, Cross finds in her backpack a blood-covered piece of fabric.  It took me some re-reading to realize that it's the tie Nathan removed in issue #2 after he shot the pig.  She then has a flashback where her old boss, Fitch, tells her that their job isn't to punish the Sword of God but "save the ones that are left."

On Venus' surface, the Gambit-like figure, named Reyk, arrives and hands Cross a box, telling her that it's on the house.  She apologizes for Garren, and Reyk says that at least he's in charge now.  Telling her "greatness is for suckers," he leaves.  The Marshal  wonders why Jenner is keeping Ian alive, and Cross says that Jenner, for all his conviction, needs someone to understand him.  As such, he's going to have Ian pull the trigger, which we see on the last panel.

You guys, we are not getting a happy ending.

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