Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Amazing Spider-Man #697 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

*** (three of five stars)

Favorite Quote:  "This makes your cache of Spider-Man's equipment look like a street vendor's table.  "Well...I mean, Norman's rich.  If you paid me more, I could have something like this."  -- Max and Pete, upon discovering Norman Osborn's secret vault

Summary
Max and Peter are still fleeing the Hobgoblins, who the Kingpin has sent after them to retrieve the key to Norman Osborn's vault.  Pete uses his Web-Shooters to try to defect their incoming projectiles while Max informs him that the key is pinging, likely because they're getting closer to the vault.  Pete tells Max to follow the key, since the vault is likely fortified and they could hide there.  He continues to try to protect them from the Hobgoblins, but he's less able to do so as they approach another Spider-Sense Jammer, so he misses an incoming goblin-rang that heads straight for Max.  However, when it suddenly deflects a few inches from him, Max reveals that he's wearing a prototype force-field.  He cautions, however, that it runs on his cell-phone battery, so it won't last too long.  The pair continue to make their way to the vault while, in the skies above them, the Hobgoblins resume fighting after Phil steals Roderick's goblin bombs.  Roderick reminds Phil that he has a drone "loaded with C4" aimed at Norah while Max and Pete arrive at the vault.  The Hobgoblins arrive too late to stop them from entering, though Roderick notes that they'll likely be dead from Osborn's security measures by the time the two manage to break into the vault.

Proving Roderick's point, a holographic image of Osborn appears to Max and Pete, informing them that they have sixty seconds to enter the authorization code before the entire facility self-destructs.  Pete calls Harry, who's living in Seattle with Stanley (his son with Lily) and who informs Pete that he's going to have to move just by answering the call.  Pete apologizes and asks Harry if he knows the security code for the Goblin's workshop.  Harry tells Pete that it's "Stromm," the name of the first business partner that Norman "screwed over."  The code works, though Max and Pete are hardly safe, because the Hobgoblins are close to breaking through the wall.  Phil calls to Pete from outside the vault, saying that they've going to use the explosives-laden drone against Norah if Pete doesn't given them what's in the vault. Roderick's impressed by Phil getting his priorities in order while Pete tells Phil that he doesn't believe that he won't just kill her anyway, trying to buy him and Max some time.  Pete says that he'll use one of the Spider-Man costumes that Norman used on his target-practice dummies to "pretend" to be Spider-Man and distract the Hobgoblins, while Max should go save Norah.

At Shadowland, Kingpin is threatening Tiberius Stone, who manages to fix the overloaded Spider-Sense Jammer.  Pete staggers as he's trying on the costume and Max tells Pete that he's going to have to work through his "migraine."  Pete suggests to Max that he checks the files to find an alternative exit while Pete tries to use his Spider-Fu to create a "wall" around his Spider-Sense.  Max finds the exit and activates the self-destruct sequence on a ten-minute delay.  He also found enough information about the drone to be able to track it to find Norah.  Pete hops one of the gliders and attacks the Hobgoblins.  (On the margins of the fight, the golden octobot from last issue attaches itself to a police car following Spidey and the Hobgoblins.)

The trio fight mid-air, with one of the Hobgoblins destroying the glider.  Roderick decides to remind Spidey what happens when he crosses the real Hobgoblin, activating the drone to kill Norah.  (Meanwhile, Phil comments to himself that he's surprised that he's not all that bothered by the idea of Roderick killing Norah.)  Meanwhile, Max reaches Norah just in time, leaping onto her and using his force field to protect her.  Max radios Pete to tell him that Norah's safe and the Hobgoblins are stunned when the vault self-destructs.  They agree to a truce to take out Spidey, but Spidey escapes, knowing that Norah and Max are safe.  Roderick then attacks Phil, dragging him into the river.  Under a pier, he tells Phil that he saw his potential and offers to allow him to keep being Hobgoblin, for a cut.


At Shadowland, one of the Hand ninjas informs Kingpin that the contents of the vault have been destroyed beyond retrieval.  Kingpin is furious, smashing the Spider-Sense Jammer and cursing Stone, who has fled Shadowland.  While fleeing, he receives a text from Max telling him that he's fired.  Spidey finds Max and Norah, confirming that they're OK.  Pete wonders if Max knows his secret identity, but realizes that he doesn't really care, since he has more immediate concerns, namely, taking out the the Spider-Sense Jammers.  With the golden octobot observing him, Spidey comments to himself that he has the feeling that he got off easy this time.  Meanwhile, at Columbia University Medical Center, a doctor and a nurse respond to an alarm, arriving at Norman Osborn's bed to find it empty.  Finally, Roderick Kingsley speaks with his butler, who confirms that Phil has transfered the first payment to his Swiss bank account.  He then gives him an update on the "Devil-Spider franchise" that he established in Delvadia and the two observe a series of monitors that show Kingsley's various super-villain franchises.

The Review
Meh.  I'm giving this issue three stars, but, in reality, it probably only deserves two.  Slott really rushes the plot here and most of the characters feel like caricatures of themselves.  But, it's clear that the monster that will be issue #700 needed to be fed and this arc paid the price for it.  

The Good
1) I thought that it was a nice touch that Slott had Max bring along the Web-Shooters and force-field projector.  Slott had veered a little close to portraying Max as somewhat incompetent in the previous issues of this arc, particularly given that he feel for the Hobgoblin's threat to hurt Peter if he called in the Avengers.  It would make sense that, if he wasn't going to bring the Avengers, Max wouldn't come empty-handed.

2) I loved Pete calling Harry.  It was a nice way to work in a Harry update before whatever we're going to see happen in issue #700 happens.

3) I liked Slott bringing back in the Spider-Fu.  Slott has done so much in moving Pete past his previous limitations and using his Spider-Fun to master his Spider-Sense was an excellent reminder of that.

4) I love that Roderick Kingsley makes his money by starting up super-villain franchises.  I may not be thrilled that Slott brought back Kingsley, given that Slott used his "death" as an amazing way to start his run.  But, if he was going to bring back Roderick with the ol' "brother decoy" schtick, it was at least a clever reason for Roderick to have used the decoy in the first place.

The Unknown
Last we saw Norman, his head was melting off his body.  I'm assuming that you don't really recover from that sort of injury, making me wonder if he left the hospital room of his own volition or someone took him from it.

The Bad
When this arc fist started, Norman's vault seemed like it was going to play a pretty key role.  But, in the end, it proves to be a MacGuffin, and I'm confused why Slott rushed a story that seemed like it had legs.  For example, why would Norman make the key ping?  After all, he knew where the vault was.  Why would he basically help someone who swiped the key from him to find his stash?  Or, would Max really have enough time to learn enough about Norman's drones to be able to track the one menacing Norah?  Sure, he's a genius, but would Norman really just have that information on his drives, particularly for a drone that he hadn't necessarily used in a while.  Or, would Pete really not think that Norman equipped the vault with security protocols?  Was he really that sure that Harry would know the password?  It seems like this arc was a victim of the rush to issue #700, since I think Slott could have avoided using these devices with an extra issue or two.  After all, the "Hunt for Norman Osborn's Vault" sounds like the type of exciting and fun story that we'd get in the '90s when "Amazing Spider-Man" went biweekly for the summer with a six-part story.  Instead, Slott takes a few short cuts to get to the conclusion and we seem denied a much better story as a result.

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