Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The July 17 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man Omega #1:  Like many events, this one ends without any real consequences.  The problem with that resolution is Thompson came close to making it interesting at the end here.

As the X-Men confront X-Man, they discover that they will functionally murder everyone born in this world to return to their world.  As some of the X-Men push to do so, X-Man wryly notes how mad they were in their world when someone made life and death decisions for them but how easily they're willing to make them for everyone else here.  Nevertheless, Nate tells the X-Men that they just have to plunge the Life Seed into his chest and they can return home.  Just as Magneto seems ready to do that, suddenly we have another options.  The X-Men are simply sent home through Nate.

Thompson even then seemed to be going somewhere interesting, as people like Colossus and Nature Girl express the desire to stay.  But, Nate insists that everyone has to go, without explaining why.  In fact, he later breaks that rule when he somehow splits Magneto into two, allowing one version of him to return and another version of him to stay in this world where his dreams were realized.  In the end, it's simply done.  At some point, Thompson quickly explains Dani's presence in both this world and in the "real" world as happening because a part of Dani will always living inside Nate.

But, again, before we can really explore that idea, we move onto the next issue at hand that Thompson has to resolve.  If you thought this experience would've made Nate realize relationships have value, you'd be wrong.  In fact, Thompson really sidesteps that issue entirely.  Nate and Magneto decide to reinvent this world without the secret police or the relationship ban, but it means we never really learn why Nate decided he needed those things in the first place.  Nate is basically accusing the X-Men of denying themselves Utopia, but he never acknowledges that a Utopia with brainwashing and secret police probably isn't one, as this experience shows.  After all, it isn't like the secret police were just there to make sure the X-Men didn't remember their pasts; the pregnant woman who bore a child in the "X-Tremists" mini-series pretty clearly wasn't someone from "our" world.

In other words, this event was clearly conceived as a placeholder to give Hickman time to build his world, so I'm not going to spend too much time on it.  I'm just sad I spent so much money on it.

Batman #75:  [Sigh.]  I don't even know what to say here, to be honest.  King leaps about 30 steps at the start of this issue when it begins simply with the word, "Later..."  Honestly, I'm fine with that, if only because I hate this run and can't wait for it to end.  You know you're in a bad place when the people who love this run will be disappointed that we won't see the outcome of Bruce and Thomas' fight in the desert while the people who hate this run will be thrilled just to be closer to the end. 

Anyway, all we know is that Thomas is now the Batman of Gotham and Bruce is wandering some snow-laden, wind-swept mountain looking for yet another guru.  All the villains in Gotham as well as Gotham Girl and Thomas are working for Bane, with most if not all of them under Psycho-Pirate's influence.  King tries to make this development interesting by leaning into the ridiculousness, such as making Joker and Riddler detectives working a beat.  They're tracking down villains, like Two-Face here, who resist Bane's rule.  When they find them, the rebels are subject to Psycho-Pirate's ministrations.

Meanwhile, Bruce is looking for the aforementioned guru.  I mean, seriously, does he have a guru on every mountaintop?  The "guru" turns out being some kid who easily slices his neck; the kid and his friend strip Bruce to his underwear and bolt.  (They're working for someone apparently connected to Bane, but I don't care enough to re-read that part.)  Catwoman appears from nowhere to save him, with no explanation for why she's there.  But, Batman can also be almost murdered by small children now, so why do we need explanations?

Even giving King the mulligan on the time jump, he leaves all sorts of questions unanswered and seems unlikely to answer them.  We learn that Gotham Girl is somehow keeping all of Bruce's "fancy friends" (to use Thomas' term for them) from entering Gotham, and it seems preposterous that the Justice League would be so afraid of Claire (or protective of Alfred, as Thomas alleges) that they'd just give up Gotham.  Moreover, as a forced-seeming part of the "Year of the Villains" event, Bane asks Luthor to arrange for the U.S. government to surrender Gotham to him.  Along with Hugo Strange's presence as the commissioner, this development makes it feel like King had no ideas left but replayed "Arkham City" a few too many times.

At some point, Thomas asserts Bruce is "broken," but, honestly, I don't know why.  He seemed fine in the desert.  He's certainly faced more difficult circumstances, and I don't understand why he's searching for a guru when he could just go to one of his safehouses, have the Bat-family meet him there, and mount an attack on Bane.  Whatever.  I'm done. I just can't do it anymore.

Transformers #9:  I wanted to love this series, but I'm done now.  (Man, it's a bad week for comics.)  It's just too effing slow. Ruckley is definitely building to something, but we seem many, many issues away from learning what it is, and I don't have the patience for that right now.

Uncanny X-Men #22:  This series wasn't perfect, but it's still one of the most solid runs on the X-Men since Lemire's short-lived "Extraordinary X-Men."  The X-Men are always at their best with their backs against the wall, and Rosenberg continued to deliver realistic challenges and setbacks for the X-Men as we progressed through the series.

By the time the rest of the X-Men return, it's really just Scott and Logan facing down the Sentinels with Dr. Nemesis, Emma, Hope, Moonstar, and Mystique on the sidelines.  In this issue alone, Fabian Cortez, Havok, and Multiple Man die.  Of course, Hickman's imminent arrival on the scene has made it pretty clear that these deaths are temporary.  After all, the relaunched "New Mutants" series has Chamber, Magik, Sunspot, and Wolfsbane, and they're all dead or missing at this point.

But, Rosenberg wisely keeps the focus on that proverbial wall, as the X-Men decide to undo what Emma did:  they'll fight not hide.  If I had one complaint about Rosenberg's writing, it's that his plots were strong but he sometimes struggled to convey emotional connections between the characters.  For example, Cyclops and Danielle are just monologuing here, where they're really having an important discussion about how Dani (and likely others) see the X-Men as being all about Scott, Jean, and Logan, with the rest of them serving merely as disposable red shirts.  Reading this series, it's hard to argue with her.

My biggest complaint is with the simply awful art, which gets even worse somehow when Messina handles the action sequences after the X-Men return.  Although I'm not a fan of Hickman, I do feel like it's time for a stable creative team to take the reigns of the X-books.  We'll see how that goes shortly.  All in all, though, I tip my hat to Rosenberg here for taking a pretty difficult situation and delivering a solid run that asked some core, existential questions about who the X-Men are.  Were that we got more of those stories.

X-Force #10:  This issue is incredibly rushed, spoiling the momentum that Brisson had built to this point.  First, we have Rachel as phoenix ex machina.  She takes down Stryfe fairly quickly and frees the mutants under his influence; the freed mutants and X-Force then make short work of the MLF.  But, the issue then devolves into time-travel nonsense.  Nate is committed to using his and Rachel's powers to wipe Stryfe's mind of these events, for reasons that aren't entirely clear to me.  But, even if they are valid reasons, they would also presumably mean that Rachel should also wipe Nate's memories of this event as well, if the goal is to keep their memories from messing with the future.  Rachel tries to convince Nate to let her kill Stryfe given the...ahem...strife that he causes Nate in the future.  But, Nate says that he has to go through the strife to become the man who so inspired X-Force.  I get that, but, if true, it implies that elder Cable knew younger Cable was going to kill him, because Nate is essentially saying they're in a time loop.  In other words, if Stryfe's future actions turn younger Nate into older Nate, then we're in the same timeline.  But, I though the whole point of younger Nate going into the past was that older Nate wasn't doing what he was supposed to do, because younger Nate's timeline changed when older Nate allowed the original X-Men to stay in the present.  Their return to the past might've saved younger Nate's original timeline as is, but I still feel like Nate would be at least partly outside of it, because Rachel doesn't wipe his memories here.  After all, the whole problem with the original X-Men in the present was the fact that they couldn't go home with the memories that they had.  Brisson might've had time to explain away that part in another issue or two, but instead we're just supposed to roll with it.  Cable, amirite?  It's a shame, too, because I really liked this series, even as other people soured on it.  Oh, well.

Sorry for this depressing review.  At least with the mutant decks cleared, hopefully we've got brighter days ahead of us.

Also Read:  Marvel's Spider-Man:  City at War #5; Invaders #7; Nightwing #62; Star Wars:  Tie Fighter #4

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The June 26 and July 3 Event Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  X-Tremists #5:  I've not been a fan of this event or this series, but Williams lays it all on the line here, and it might be the only thing to save this series (though too little to save the event).  In each issue of this event, the authors have studiously avoided placing any blame on Nate for his decision to create his Utopia.  Sure, this title and "Age of X-Man:  Prisoner X" have focused on the repressive infrastructure Nate put in place.  But, this issue finally shows how truly horrible it is, as Jubilee remembers Shogo.  Williams effectively uses Jubilee writing a letter to Shogo as her framing device.  It allows Williams to convey Jubilee's horror at not just forgetting Shogo, but, like a true parent, her horror at not knowing if he's OK.  There's no redeeming that, particularly not when you consider how many people experienced exactly that horror.  Speaking of horrors, Williams also addresses the homosexuality of Iceman, Northstar, and Rictor more directly than I've ever seen in a comic, even "Iceman."  They're all comfortable in their skin here, as they engage in the drunken "gay apocalypse" with Jubilee.  It makes their "awakening" all the more awful, as their loss of memories was functionally like returning them to the closet.  Williams even addresses -- for the first time that I can recall -- the fact that Northstar's crush on Iceman was the first hint that we all had that Bobby was gay.  "Otter-pop" indeed.  I still can't say that I recommend this event or series, but Williams, at the end, gives it the emotional grounding that it's been missing all this time.

Age of X-Man:  Prisoner X #5:  It's hard to believe this event is still happening.  The team, such as it is, rushes Legion, whose omnipotence is stretched to the limit in his attempt to keep the prison under control.  Legion eventually surrenders, using a Shard persona to warn the team that someone is pulling the strings.  For reasons that aren't clear, he can't say the name.  Bishop guesses that it's Nate Gray, but his description of why  he thought that Nate was the only person who could create this Universe is ridiculous.  First, I'm not sure how Bishop even knows Nate other than a few X-Men Christmas parties.  Second, even if he did, any number of powerful telepaths seem like possible candidates.  It has to be Nate and not, say, a deranged alternate-future Cable possessing his full powers?  Jean Grey losing it again?  A personality Legion himself wasn't aware was doing it?  This event has had way too many of these overly convenient epiphanies for me to take it seriously, and I find myself looking forward to Hickman's turn at the wheel here.  Given how I feel about Hickman, that's saying a lot.

War of the Realms #6:  If last issue was a chaotic mess, this issue was nothing short of perfect.  It's like the creator of the "Gilmore Girls" knowing how the last episode was going to end from the start.  Aaron's entire run led to the moment where Thor picked up a reborn Mjolnir and declared himself the God of the Unworthy.  The Thor makes the hammer; the hammer doesn't make the Thor.  But, Aaron let us think that we had lost Mjolnir forever, as Thor sacrificed that (and his eye) to Yggdrasil for knowledge.  But, as the Mother Storm returns and everyone -- Daredevil, Freyja, Odin -- mumbles about how Thor has to use it to defeat Malekith, Thor responds, "What do they think I've been doing since the tree exploded?"  Thor makes it rain fire to destroy the symbiote and then reveals Mjolnir, in all her fury.  The single tear welling in his eye when she returns?  Perfect.  The Storm of Thors -- for Jane Thor, Old Thor, and Young Thor have all joined him -- makes short work of Malekith.  Ultimately it's the Wild Hunt that kills him, smelling the fear on him:  the fear that he lost his father, brothers, and uncles to war for no good reason.  We then end where we needed to end, as Odin relinquishes his throne in favor of Thor.  In some runs, this moment would seem logical but rushed, a quick way to change a status quo and show that the author had left his impact on a character.  But after so many issues, after so many years, it feels like what it is:  a Thor-blessed coronation.  Thor has been in the wilderness for a long time, and he found his way home.  I can't wait to see where we go from here.  Although last issue might have been shaky, Aaron closes out this event so strongly that I think it's the best of the best.  I can't recommend it enough.

Also Read:  Avengers #20; Thor #14; War of the Realms:  Uncanny X-Men #3

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The June 12 X Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  The Marvelous X-Men #5:  As in "Age of X-Man:  Prisoner X" #4 and "Age of X-Man:  X-Tremists" #4, everything falls apart pretty quickly here, as the X-Men realize that they've been duped.  It starts to go downhill when they learn that someone has killed Moneta in her search for Colossus.  Nature Girl speaks to the bacteria at the scene (sure) to discover Apocalypse did it.  But, the bacteria somehow also show Nature Girl what Moneta saw when she used her powers on Apocalypse, revealing the moment when Nate converted him into Hippie-pocalypse.  The truth revealed, the X-Men confront X-Man.  I'm long past caring about this event since, again, it's just been the same issue over and over again in each series.  But at least it ends soon, I guess?

X-Force #9:  I enjoyed this series, but it goes to hell in a handbasket here.  After initially attacking X-Force in their first encounter, Blaquesmith magically stops time, allowing X-Force to escape the MLF to go save Cable from Stryfe.  In a great example of pet peeve #3, Warpath reminds Blaquesmith that they told him that they were in the future to save Cable.  Domino even suggests he could've just read their minds if he though they worked for Stryfe  Of course, Blaquesmith simply replies that he doesn't have to justify his motivations to them.  Sure, OK.  Blaquesmith then continues with the magic, creating holographic (telegraphic?) images of X-Force to continue fighting the MLF, buying them time to escape.  But, his plan doesn't work, as the MLF realizes Blaquesmith's trickery and Zero returns them to Stryfe's HQ just in time to confront X-Force.  Stryfe is (rightfully) furious that his plan to destroy Clan Askani failed.  The MLF engages Boomer, Domino, and Warpath, but Rachel emerges from the telepaths' control in time to save them.  Meanwhile, Deathlok tries to cut Cable from his techno-organic virus.  (I'm not sure how exactly that works, but, again, OK.). In other words, it's all just a mess.  I'm surprised Brisson didn't mention Domino's luck powers, so often things go X-Force's way in this issue.  This series had such potential, but Kid Cable has been disabled for two issues and everyone else seems just to punch each other waiting for him to return.

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The June 5 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  Prisoner X #4:  Like the other series in this event, this issue covers the same ground that we've previously covered without adding anything particularly new or interesting.  The only real development is Dani putting to words what we've all already known, that every time someone manages to break free of Nate or Legion's control their control over everyone else slips.  As such, it's no surprise that Bishop is able to get a full-scale riot going here.  But, it's still unclear what role Legion plays in it:  I can't tell if he encourages Forge to release the power-dampening collars or if Forge did it on his own.  I honestly can't say I care all that much at this point.  This entire event is just an awkward transition as we move to whatever mess Hickman plans on making.

Batman #72:  Every time I think this series can't get worse and more repetitive, it does.  I have to give King that, I guess.

Guardians of the Galaxy Annual #1:  This issue is interesting in that it maintains the main series' modus operandi, focusing not just exclusively on the Guardians team as we traditionally know it but also including the various Marvel Cosmic characters as well.  As a Nova and Quasar fan, I was of course most interested in their story.  I thought Ewing did a great job teasing out their characters through their dispute, as Rich criticizes Quasar's breezy optimism as a sign that he's lost touch with reality given his dealings with cosmic entities like Galactus.  The conversation starts with Rich admitting to Quasar that he's on "therapeutic leave" after he watched the Skrulls destroy one of their renegade worlds.  He had just saved a family from a group of Skrull soldiers when Adsit tells him that the Skrulls had withdrawn from the Pan-Worlds Treaty and revoked the Nova Corps jurisdiction over the planet.  Adsit compels him to leave just before the Skrulls destroy the planet.  Rich observes to Quasar that the Kree and Shi'ar are likely to withdraw as well, meaning galactic war is coming.  Quasar essentially tells him that he's sure everything will be fine, prompting Rich's criticism.  In an obvious parallel to our current era, Rich tells Quasar that he's on the front lines dealing with real people.  He sees the hard-liners taking over the political system, the galactic economy collapsing after years of inequality and upheaval, etc.  He warns Quasar that people like him are looking for a Thanos, when it's really the 30-credit beer that sparks revolution and chaos.  Sound familiar?

Spider-Gwen:  Ghost Spider #9:  As I think I've mentioned, I feel like this series has gotten increasingly repetitive, recycling the same story lines over and over again.  McGuire does it again here, as a bad guy interrupts yet another Mary Janes' performance trying to get at Gwen.  But, the good news is that Man-Wolf is at least a different villain, injecting some much needed energy into this issue.  We don't yet know why he's targeting Gwen, other than his assertion that he's defeated all the city's heroes.  It seems like he's essentially offended Gwen thinks she could superhero in "his" city.  That said, the cop who helps Gwen ID Man-Wolf somewhat contradicts this claim, telling her that he appeared during her incarceration.  Did he really defeat everyone in the short time she was in prison?  Although the rhythm might be the same, at least the person playing the instrument is different.  I'm not sure I'm going to stick with this title when it's (once again) relaunched, but for now I'm at least glad that I have a reason to hang in there.

War of the Realms #5:  This issue is the point where it feels like this story spun beyond my ability to grasp.  Previously, the tie-in issues had been supporting the main title, so they weren't necessary to read to understand the main title's plot.  Although I've been reading many of the tie-in series, this issue is where I feel like you had to read specific tie-in issues to understand the developments here.  I had to re-read several issues just to assemble the rough timeline I put together here, and even then I'm still not sure that it's right.

Some leaps you can legimitately make on your own.  Last issue, most of the teams reconvened at Avengers Mountain, and it's clear that it's when they slammed the Boggle cube on the table to make new teams.  She-Hulk brought the dwarves from Nidavellir in issue #4; in this issue, they joined forces with Iron Man to become, awesomely, the War Machine Dwarves.  Meanwhile, She-Hulk is leading Daredevil, Deadpool, Iron Fist, and Luke Cage to take Australia from the Trolls.  But, even when you can make some leaps on your own, it isn't all necessarily clear.  For example, Jennifer has somehow gotten a hammer and Ulik calls her "Thunder-Hulk."  I assume that happened in a tie-in issue that I didn't read.

In some cases, you can make the leap, but it's still hard to follow.  Carol Danvers is a great example.  She led the War Avengers (Black Widow, Captain Britain, Deadpool, Sif, Venom, Weapon H, and the Winter Soldier) in the Battle of London in issue #3 and "War of the Realms:  Strike Force - The War Avengers" #1, but they seem to surrender in issue #3 when Malekith teleports Venom and himself...somewhere.  They resume the fight at the end of "War of the Realms:  Strikeforce - The War Avengers" #1, taking on dark elves at the Great Wall.  But, in issue #4, the Agents of Atlas have replaced the War Avengers in the fight with Carol at the Great Wall without explanation.  In issue #5, Captain Britain has re-appeared in London, found the Black Blade, and is now fighting alongside Captain America, while Carol has moved onto Shanghai with Hawkeye and Shang-Chi.  The Agents of Atlas are presumably somewhere.

In some instances, you just have to assume existing tie-in series end happily.  Last we saw him, Sir Ivory was unconscious in Africa after fighting Kurse in "Spider-Man and the League of the Realms" #2; in issue #5, he joins Queen Featherwine and the Punisher at the head of the Light Elf Rifle Brigade in Wakanda.  (It seems like the entire "Spider-Man and the League of the Realms" mini-series happens between issues #4 and #5, after Spider-Man returns from Jotunheim and the Punisher brings the Light Elves to Midgard.)  Balder and Thori were trying to save Balder's sister in "War of the Realms:  Journey into Mystery" #4, but now Balder is with Dr. Strange, Ghost Rider, and Spider-Man taking on the Enchantress in Montevideo and Thori is with Captains America and Britain in London.  (I guess Spider-Man hitched a ride from Africa.)  Kurse also apparently survived, because she's fighting the Destroyer somewhere.

In other words, the wheels come off the bus here as Aaron's ambition gets the better of him.  I get what he was trying to do, instill in us the magnitude of the battle.  He does accomplish that; it's awesome to see everyone fighting all over the place.  But, the plot gets lost in the shuffle of players across the chessboard, a point Carol herself made in "War of the Realms:  Strikeforce - The War Avengers" #1.  After all, Thor is the key here, but we barely get a sight of him.  I get the symmetry of Thor hanging himself from Yggdrasil like Odin did.  I just don't get why he does it.  Insight?  Did he really need insight to know that he has to take on Malekith?  I assumed that it was to reforge Mjolnir, but that didn't seem to happen.  I feel like we could've had fewer slugfests and a few more panels teasing out this very, very essential plot point.  Aaron has pushed this moment of "OK, time to wrap up this story" longer than most authors, so I'm not complaining too much.  But, it's time for the end to come, as it thankfully does next issue.

Also Read:  Black Cat #1; Marvel Team-Up #3; Star Wars:  Age of Rebellion - Luke Skywalker #1; Uncanny X-Men #19; War of the Realms:  Journey into Mystery #4

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The May 29 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Men:  X-Tremists #4:  This issue ends in a riot, as Jubilee remembers that she has a son and Jean-Paul remembers that he has a husband.  Along the way, we're treated to Jean-Paul insulting Bobby's sweater and Bobby stripping off said sweater, asking Jean-Paul if he liked what he saw.  Twunk indeed, as Rictor says.  For his part, Rictor is running a theater where mutants can get busy, an homage to old-school X-rated theaters.  For the first time, Williams finally addresses the fact that the X-Tremists have two gay team members.  By adding Rictor and the theater, she makes the obvious parallel to a world where the LGBT community often has to hide their lives to this "Utopia" that X-Man made where no one can show affection.  Sucks, don't it, straight people?

Amazing Spider-Man #22:  To be honest, I felt like Spencer swerved here from the more interesting outcome.  Although I was pretty sure Peter wasn't going to fully buy into Kraven's exhortation that he becomes a killer, I thought that he would at least emerge shaken from understanding Kraven's point of view.

After all, Kraven makes a compelling point.  When Spidey appears to discover that the Lizard killed a series of guards on the way to save Billy, Kraven argues that the lives of mercenaries -- killers all -- pale in comparison to the lives of an innocent boy like Billy and the woman trying to protect him, the Black Cat.  Peter initially seems to be struggling with this argument.  But, Spencer takes an easier road, showing this confusion, if you will, to be the result of Kraven's "herbs and potions" and, in even more of a cop-out, revealing that Kraven himself killed the guards to set up the crisis of conscience that Peter would undergo.

Peter shakes off the drugs and beats Kraven, arguing that he doesn't kill so that his family doesn't have to kill?  I'm not really sure I follow that, to be honest.  I think that Peter is arguing that humanity is inherently kind, that we were meant to help each other not hunt each other.  But, he seems to be gliding over all those one-percenters gathered in that ballroom to do exactly that, isn't he?

In other words, Spencer is letting Peter have his Pollyanna-ism, something that we also saw in the "War of the Realms:  Strikeforce - Land of the Giants" one-shot and again in this week's "Spider-Man and the League of the Realms," where Peter doesn't want to kill Frost Giants like Logan does.  I'm not saying that I want a homicidal Spider-Man, but I feel like Spencer was at least pushing Peter's ethical boundaries here.  Dan Slott trod similar ground in his Massacre story arc, using Massacre to show how different Otto was from Peter, since he was willing to kill Massacre to stop his rampage.  Peter finding a way to stop Kraven without killing would've been a powerful statement.  Instead, the tension all fades with the herbs and potions and Peter just magically beats Kraven, something that he'd previously struggled to do.  To make matters worse, Kraven embraces Peter's point of view, seeing the humanity in him.  He sacrifices himself -- dressed in a black costume -- to give Peter time to escape, and Kraven's son kills him thinking that he's Peter.

I'm not saying the ending invalidates the strong story that Spencer told over the course of this event.  But, it is disappointing, because I feel like he could've pushed somewhat a little darker, but instead stayed in a safer place.  Oh, well.  As I said, all in all, I still enjoyed the event so I'll call that a win.

Star Wars:  Vader - Dark Visions #4:  First, like Diplo, Hopeless be everywhere.  But, given the caliber of this story, it's easy to see why.  Hopeless shows us an unnamed protagonist looking to avenge his smuggler father's death on Coruscant, a death he could've prevented as a young boy if he had taken the shot that his father had trained him to take.  The boy grows into a cocky young pilot whose audacity the Rebel command continually rewards.  Sounds familiar?  However, unlike Han, Leia, or Luke, this guy chokes at his big moment, unable to take the shot (again) to take out Darth Vader.  He flees to base, bringing Vader and a squadron of Tie Fighters with him.  After vomiting from fear, he's (again) forced to watch the consequences of what his inaction has caused.  Hopeless shows us a corner of the galaxy where pluck doesn't really get you anywhere, a corner that I'm sure would feel more familiar to the average Empire resident than Han, Leia, or Luke's.

War of the Realms:  War Scrolls #2:  This issue contains a lovely coda to Gillen's "Young Avenger" series, as Loki seeks forgiveness for siding with the bad guys from Billy Kaplan.  Beyond the beauty of getting to see an always-hot Teddy Altman, we also get to see him in context of an adult relationship with Billy.  They're apparently now living together, and they're over 21 years old as Billy believes that he's meeting "Kate" for brunch and mimosas.  But, since Loki can't just ask for forgiveness, "Kate" is Loki in disguise, trying to get Billy to forgive him without having to ask for it.  (His plans are foiled when Teddy sees Kate in Los Angeles on Instagram and texts Billy.  Get with the times, Loki.)  But, Billy gives Loki his forgiveness anyway, and he and Teddy mourn when they watch Laufey eat Loki later.  If I've ever been disappointed with Jason Aaron, it's because he seemed to ignore a lot of the work GIllen and then Ewing did with Loki.  It was a thrill to see this Loki again (and a sexy Teddy, obviously).

Also Read:  Marvel's Spider-Man:  City at War #3; Spider-Man and the League of the Realms #2; Thor #13

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The May 15 X-Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  The Marvelous X-Men #4:  I admit, I lost the plot here, though I can't really say that I care.  I feel like I've read the same issue of this series four times:  everyone marvels (heh) at how amazing Nate is, someone remembers a past love and tries to defect, Moneta is an asshole, and Nate tries to close the fractures in this reality.  Rinse and repeat.  The only dramatic tension in each issue is whether someone is going to remember the past, but we all know that they will, because again the cycle repeats.  We also still don't really have any idea how or why Nate created this reality despite arriving at the event's end.  What a mess.

Uncanny X-Men #18:  Honesty, this series is getting hard to read.  It might be easier if we didn't know that Jonathan Hickman was going to disregard the X-Men's history when he takes over the line, making everything happening here irrelevant.  (Yes, I know Marvel insists that he isn't going to do that.  But, Marvel also insisted that Peter Parker was dead and Otto Octavius was Spider-Man, so whatever.)

However, with that knowledge, it's impossible to take Rosenberg's cavalcade of death here seriously.  Chamber kills the Marauders despite them swearing that they didn't murder the Morlocks and then Harpoon murders Chamber.  [Yawn.]  Moreover, Rosenberg is screwing with everyone's powers in a way that the deaths overshadow.  Dani seems to have regained her mutant abilities, as she displays her previous ability to summon a psionically charged bow and arrow.  Alex also pushes himself to the limit in the fight with Sinister, phasing outside reality for reasons that no one understands.

The only positive development in this issue, to my mind, is Logan and Xi'an leaving the team because, in Xi'an words, they're just throwing themselves against walls hoping they fall.  Of course, the problem is that neither Logan nor Xi'an has any better ideas about how they can try to prevent the X-Men's old enemies from taking advantage of X-Man whisking away almost all the X-Men.  Oh, well.  It won't matter soon anyway.

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The May 1 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  Prisoner X #3:  One of the major questions -- actually, the major question -- running through this event is who, exactly, is pulling the strings behind the scenes.  Who dispatches Fred and the X-Tremists on missions?  Who gives orders to Force and the Danger Room?  We've always assumed that it was X-Man, but, given Bishop's conversation with Legion in this issue, maybe it's Legion?  Wouldn't that be a twist?  At the very least, this series has kept this mystery at its core unlike the other series, which continue to get lost in attempts to make it seem like it's all really the new status quo and isn't going to be undone in a month or so.

Batman #70:  I feel like I'm waiting for someone to give me permission to stop reading this series.  I mean, I just cannot fucking take another non sequitur poem.  Amazingly, King plummets even lower here, employing the most boring cliché of all Batman stories:  the assault on Arkham.  Bruce finally awakens here, and he makes a mad dash through Arkham, laughing at Bane thinking his nightmare experience has broken him.  King uses an off-panel conversation between Bane and the Ventriloquist to show that Bruce is doing exactly what Bane wants him to do, and the hysterical tinge of Bruce's voice implies that he might not be as with it as he thinks that he is.  But, it still doesn't mean that it isn't ridiculous that Bruce is able to defeat the Riddler, Killer Croc, Hush, Zsazz, Man-Bat, the Flamingo, Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow, Amygdala, Solomon Grundy, Two-Face, and several other characters whom I didn't recognize in one fell run.  It's clear that he barely even works up a sweat.  Why read a Batman comic if he's so powerful?  He's essentially Superman here.  The worst part is that we're nowhere near close to the final confrontation with Bane and Thomas Wayne, making you wonder just how long King is going to leave us hanging here.  [Sigh.]  This whole experience feels like penance, though I'm not sure what my sin was.

Star Wars #65:  The exciting part of this arc is that Gillen continues to surprise us with how badly Leia's plan is going.  At the start, it seemed like she and the guys were just going to waltz through Shu-Torun with ease.  Sure, the SCAR Squadron guys might get off Hubin and arrive at the last minute to make matters interesting, but it seemed beyond a doubt that Leia was going to get her revenge (no matter how much she claimed that she wasn't trying to get revenge).  But, Gillen is making it a lot more difficult than it usually is for heroes.  Trios decides to jeopardize the lives of everyone stuck in the auditorium with her in order to allow her and her elite guard to break free.  Sure, she possibly condemned Shu-Torun's nobility to a fiery, painful death, but she understands that Leia is playing for keeps.  (In fact, she intuitively understands it better than Leia does, since the Partisans' attempt to destroy Shu-Torun is something Leia missed entirely as a possibility.)  Moreover, SCAR Squadron gets in touch with the Empire more quickly than I thought it would, resulting in Commander Kanchar bringing his ship to Shu-Torun for his version of fun.  I can actually see a scenario where Leia and Trios have to work together to save Shu-Torun from the Partisans, a possibility that just shows how complex of a tale Gillen is weaving here.

Uncanny X-Men #17:  I don't understand how this issue goes so completely off the rails so quickly.  Sure, this series has occasionally had some dips in the quality of its dialogue, but Rosenberg has generally been pretty good about the consistency of his characterization.  But, everything goes out the window here.

First, we're supposed to believe that four frat boys beat Rahne to death because Rahne didn't fight back.  I'm sorry, what?  Rosenberg portrays Rahne as suicidal in her refusal to use her powers after she initially attacks one of the boys in a rage.  Rosenberg seems to want us to ignore the fact that Rahne has been in this game since she was a pre-teen.  We're supposed to believe that she can't control her powers enough to safely put down four frat boys?  Also, these frat boys are clearly sociopaths because when Wolverine finds them (with the help of Kwannon) they're just playing video games.  Really?  They just blithely kill a girl and decide, cool, let's go play "Fortnite?"

Then, we've got Karma reciting this ridiculous list of dead X-Men at Rahne's funeral, as if anyone really believes they're dead?  Given the X-Men's history, almost all of the X-Men inexplicably disappeared and no one even paused to consider if there is more than meets the eye here?  We're really just supposed to believe that they all believe all their friends are dead?  Shouldn't they be a little more despondent?  Shouldn't they just be drinking whiskey and crying all the time?  

Then, we've got Scott so mad at Logan for skipping Rahne's funeral that he unilaterally evicts him from the team even though, as Logan himself notes, he's not the team leader anymore.  They're a democracy.  Also, it's not like Scott was really "there" for the team as he claims that Logan should've been.  He starts the service by announcing that the doesn't know what he should say and just turns over the podium to anyone who wants to say something.  Inspiring leadership, Scotty.  

Then, we've got Logan being all inexplicably emotional, saying that he and Scott keep sending kids to die.  Again, Rahne was a grown-ass woman.  If anything, Logan not stopping her from leaving the team was probably a good decision in terms of her safety, since she had a better chance of surviving when she wasn't getting hunted as a member of an outcast mutant outfit.  How was he to know she'd go all suicidal?

Honestly, this issue is just the fucking worst.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #20.HU; Marvel Team-Up #2; Spider-Gwen:  Ghost Spider #8; Star Wars:  Age of Rebellion - Han Solo #1; Transformers #4; War of the Realms #3; War of the Realms:  Strikeforce - The Dark Elf Realm #1

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The April 24 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  X-Tremists #3:  I officially have no idea what's happening in this series.  First, everyone speaks in some sort of literary tense; it's like reading 18th century French literature written in the passé simple.  Moreover, everyone seems to have their own delusions.  For example, we have Moneta believing in an Emmanuel Goldstein-esque Resistance and Blob somehow not realizing people hated Department X.  (Yes, Blob, they all loved you for erasing their memories of the people they loved.)  Betsy tells Blob about how happy she is that they put the "old ways" behind them, because she used to have an eating disorder and hated her body.  (I guess she doesn't hate it now that she doesn't love anyone?)  Also, everyone apparently no longer believes in the mission except Moneta, but no one actually says that.  Again, like Fred, they seem not entirely clear on what their mission is?  Honestly, I have no idea.

War of the Realms:  Uncanny X-Men #1:  This issue is truly excellent, definitely the best issue of "War of the Realms" to date.  Rosenberg does a number of clever things here.  First, he follows the formula of all good tie-in issues by not completely ignoring the team's  existing storyline.  When Dani gets Odin's call to assist the Valkyries (as seen in "War of the Realms" #2), she and the X-Men are fighting Nanny and the Orphan-Maker.  Moreover, the team's banter and challenges are even more on display here than they usually are in the main title.  Alex is the annoying little brother challenging his older brother, the New Mutants are a separate unit more dedicated to each other than the larger team, and Madrox is...Madrox.  Finally, Rosenberg wisely puts the X-Men on the sidelines of the action.  When they arrive in New York, it has already fallen:  Dr. Strange has evacuated the city's population, and Frost Giants and dark elves are just wandering the streets.  Rather than trying to insert the X-Men between panels of the main series, Rosenberg uses the team to show us the aftermath of the Battle of New York.  He really leans into the banter and challenges here as he has everything descend further into chaos:  Wolfsbane and one of Jamie's dupes fall down a hole, and Magik answers Cyclops' call to get reinforcements but can only find a full-snark Hope and a still-dead Banshee.  The remaining members of the party unwisely split -- Hope takes Chamber to find Wolfsbane and the dupe while Scott and company find a devastated Dani looking at the bodies of her fellow Valkyries.  Something about the nature of a tie-in issue really let Rosenberg spread his wings, and I look forward to seeing where the story goes.

The Wild Storm #22:  My concern at this point is that Ellis has done such an amazing job throughout this series of keeping all the plates spinning in the air that we're approaching the moment when they're all just fall to the floor.  He focuses simply on two stories in this issue, which seems unbelievable given how many threats we have out there.

First, Marc Slayton attempts to kill Jackie, but the "Battalion Device" that she swiped from IO protects her, disintegrating Slayton.  Jackie exposits that Angie was right:  the device is both scary and completely invisible to scanners, a point Elis and Davis-Hunt emphasized by opening the issue with Jackie getting scanned without incident while exiting the building.

But, we quickly move to the empty village in the middle of Utah, where Apollo and Midnight are awaiting the Skywatch ships after their shenanigans last issue.  Jenny and company arrive after the Doctor felt the ships "drop" toward the planet; Angie was able to see into Jenny's mind and triangulate the ships' destination.  Midnighter is understandably suspicious that they're Skywatch, given their use of teleportation.  Jack introduces himself as a scrambled Skywatch experiment, but Midnight isn't convinced.  Jenny then pledges to help them to prove their worth.  When Apollo asks why, she rather convincingly responds that they've all lost or escaped people who know what Earth is really like and that they're the last people left to save the Earth.  The combined team makes pretty quick work of the impressive-looking Skywatch ships, mostly due to Apollo and Jenny, who turn into a gigantic energy-being of some sort.

It's all totally fine.  But, with only two issues left, I find myself wondering about Voodoo, who we saw in the background of the first few issues but haven't seen since.  We also haven't seen Zealot or Marlowe and the Wild C.A.T.s in a long time.  It's starting to feel like Ellis' careful planning wasn't so careful.  Then again, I also know the 24-issues framework is a lie, as two mini-series follow this one.  In other words, I can be patient, but I also hope that patience is rewarded and this series maintains the high level of excellence we've enjoyed so far.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #20; Detective Comics #1,002; Mr. and Mrs. X #10; Star Wars:  Vader - Dark Visions #3

Not-Very-New Comics!: The April 10 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  The Marvelous X-Men #3:  We’re halfway through this event, and I’m still not quite sure what story Marvel is telling here.  At this stage, we seem to have two main conflicts:  Apocalypse is calling for the mutants of this reality to embrace love, and X-Man is struggling to keep his hold on everyone.  Even the other two series I’m reading — "Prisoner X" and "The X-Tremists" — are focused on these two conflicts.  But, the larger point isn’t particularly clear to me.  The original Age of Apocalypse was exciting because you got to see familiar characters making different decisions and living different lives based on their new shared history.  Plus, Bishop was starting to remember his past, which would allow him to undo Legion's assassination of Professor X.  It all came together as you watched the X-Men, different as they now were, sacrifice themselves for a better world.  In Age of X-Man, X-Man is making everyone live these different lives, so it's a lot less interesting.  Plus, the scope of the differences is narrower:  it’s pretty much just the same people arguing over love with a script they've been handed.  Moreover, at this stage, no one's even really trying to return them to reality, as Bishop was in Age of Apocalypse.  Magneto comes the closest at least to discovering the truth, as he realizes that they all seem to be aware of memories of a previous life, one that might be the real one.  But, he doesn't really do anything with this insight; he still commits to confronting Apocalypse at the Xavier Day event in London.  The only theme I can tease from these issues is a critique of the majority's predisposition to embracing authority, but I'm not sure that's really all that interesting in the way it's presented here, since, again, no one is consciously making that decision.

Avengers:  No Road Home #9-#10:  Man, this series flew right off the rails.  The last few issues haven't been great, as the authors have let the story wander.  But, we never really return to a clear path.  It turns out it wasn't about Hercules seeking redemption or the Hulk seeking power.  It was about...Marvel's 80th anniversary?  Throughout the series, the authors gave conflicting motivations for Nyx.  In issue #9, she says it's revenge, but didn't she get that when she (easily) murdered all the Olympian gods?  In issue #10, she seeks to remake the Universe without light, but never seems to understand that she'd rule over a dead Universe.  Then, it all collapses under its own weight when Nyx inexplicably discovers the house that she's seen several times is the "House of Ideas."  Vision follows her through the doors, and he uses his imagination to defeat her, sending team after team of Avengers at her.  Of course, the authors never have Nyx use her imagination to fight fire with fire:  after a few millennia in Zeus' jail cell, you would've figure she'd have thought up some sort of tortures she could've deployed to save herself.  Moreover, Vision acknowledges that he didn't kill Nyx; she's essentially just...gone?  I get the House of Ideas reference like every other kid who read Marvel comics in the 1970s and 1980s.  But, I honestly have no idea why the authors weaved it in here.  It made the series feel like one of those promotional comics you used to get in that era, like when the X-Men were inexplicably shilling for Pizza Hut.  (I totally made my parents go to Pizza Hut for that reason, obviously.)  Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, we then get everything essentially ret-conned, as the Olympian gods are now essentially Flash Gordoned with their Buck Rogers fashions?  I mean, we even end with Hercules standing facing the camera, if you will, despite the fact he's actually shaking someone's hand.  Ugh.  "Avengers:  No Surrender" was a fun romp with a great cast, and I'm sad that its successor series turned out so mediocre.

Invaders #1-#4:  This story is very, very different from the ones I’m used to reading from Chip Zdarsky, but I am very much not complaining.  It’s really one of the more gripping treatments of Namor and, frankly, Cap, that I’ve read in a long time.  This series continues the story started in “Avengers,” with Namor preparing for his war on the surface world.  But, it goes to all new places.

In the first issue, Namor brings a group of secessionist Atlantean militants to heel, using his newfound powers over water to awe them into servitude.  On the surface, Jim Hammond is writing a book about the Invaders.  After interviewing Cap, he travels to Maine to visit Randall Johnson, one of the soldiers who served in their support unit.  In flashbacks, we see the Invaders dealing with the aftermath of a battle where a few members of their support unit, including a kid named Tommy, died.  Namor was particularly close to Tommy, and we see him engaging in his usual terrible behavior in the days after Tommy's death to avoid dealing with the loss.  Equally usual, we see Steve convince Namor to grieve.  These stories collide in a brilliant way at the end:  in a flashback, we learn that Tommy’s last name was Machan (from his dog tags), the same name as Namor’s consigliere.  Then, through the eyes of the defeated separatists, we learn only Namor can see Machan.  Dun-dun-DUN!  In one fell swoop, Zdarsky ups the ante, as we’re now dealing with Mad King Namor.  These sorts of reveals are usually cheesy as hell, but Zdarsky built to this moment beautifully; it was legitimately chilling.

The other main development is issue #1 is Jim stumbling upon a photo of Namor, during the period after the war where he was amnesiac, standing with Charles Xavier.  Randall’s daughter Nay (named after Namor) hastens to cover up the photo, and Jim is now reasonably suspicious about it.  Meanwhile, in issue #2, Cap tries to confront Namor, which goes as poorly as expected; but, he also catches a glimpse of Hydro-Man, understanding Namor’s newfound powers.  We learn Cap’s confrontation was just a ruse so Bucky had time to root through Namor’s room.  (Tricky, tricky Steve.)  Meeting with Cap and Jim later, Bucky reveals that Namor’s making a bomb to exterminate humanity.  Meanwhile, Nay signals for Namor, grateful for everything he’s apparently done for her son.  Namor is unconcerned about Steve and company exploring his past with Charles, seeing it as a wild-goose chase, but he encourages Nay to destroy all the other evidence. But, Zdarsky raises the stakes here as “Machan” encourages Namor to kills the Johnsons and rid himself of the liability.

Everything goes from bad to worse in issue #3.  Cap informs the Avengers, and, despite Tony seeking to confront Namor immediately, Cap is reasonably certain T’Challa will give him the space he needs to try to reason with Namor on his own.  He and Hammond travel to the naval base working on underwater warfare, established to address the threat that the U.S. government (correctly) sees Namor as posing.  The base’s commander is appalled when Cap informs her that the base may be in danger but then asks her not to attack Namor.  Zdarsky does a great job here, as it’s getting harder and harder to side with Steve and his desire to reason with Namor, particularly if you’re not aware of his fragile mental state.  But, the visit is again revealed as a ruse as Bucky tries to sabotage the bomb that the base is developing, because it has the raw materials that Namor needs for his bomb.  Bucky recruits a lab worker to help him while Cap takes selfies with the base’s enlisted men.  But, Zdarsky doesn’t stick his head in the sand here:  one of the soldiers confronts Cap over his connection to the Supreme Commander, noting that the heroes play at gods while they watch their friends die.  It’s a moving moment, and Cap has no response.  It’s a perfect companion to what Coates is doing in “Captain America,” showing the lack of trust the world is starting to have in its “heroes.”  Cap and Jim then visit Randall, who tells Cap that Namor thought that he cured the “oxygen imbalance” that previously explained his “temperament.”  But, Randall somewhat convincingly argues that Namor has no true home but war and needs Cap’s help.  But, Nay has again signaled Namor, and he attacks, flinging Cap into the ocean.  Jim rushes to save him, while Randall confronts Namor.  Namor now seems more concerned about the Xavier connection, and Randall asks if he’s willing to destroy all the evidence, namely Randall and Nay.  Randall then unexpectedly dies of a heart attack.  His last words show his worry about who is going to save Namor now that he's gone, and it seems likely that his death will just push Namor further over the edge.  But, it does make Nay realize that she needs to help Cap and Jim.

She does so in issue #4.  We learn that Namor spent long periods of time with the Johnsons, interrupted by periods where he returned to Atlantis.  He was tormented by his memories of the war during this period.  Then, Charles Xavier arrived.  It was the time before he created Cerebro, so the only way he could find other mutants was to be near them.  Charles recruits Namor to help him find mutants like them.  Zdarsky makes it clear that it’s the cocky, reckless Xavier that we're getting here; he specifically mentions how the term homo superior unnerved Jim, but Xavier had his “hooks” in Namor.  (Knowing Charles, he probably was telepathically manipulating him.)  But, to Namor’s frustration, they fail in finding new mutants.  (There’s a great scene of them walking in the woods with Wolverine using his claws to hide in a tree above them.)  But, they finally encounter one, a young man who had been turning animals into humans (who still acted like cats and dogs, drawing a certain amount of attention to the town).  Charles is thrilled, seeing him as using his ability to change species to create more mutants.  Namor rightly calls Charles an idiot, predicting that they’ll use him to exterminate mutants.  It all becomes moot when the cops kill him after he turns one of them into a cat.  Namor is enraged and attacks the cops.  Charles, in what will become a long line of brilliant moves, invades Xavier’s mind, creating a telepathic version of Tommy to serve as Namor’s in-mind therapist, since he trusted him.  But, Namor resists, and Tommy instead becomes Machan, urging him to win the war.  (Thanks, Charles.)  From there, the story continues as we know it.  Namor eventually regained his memories and returned to the Johnson’s, taking Nay’s son Roman under his wing.  In the present, we see the consequences of that.  The lab technician shoots Bucky in the head with the gun that he (pretty stupidly) gave her in issue #3, revealing that she’s working with Roman...who’s working at the base.  Unaware of Bucky’s plight, Cap and Jim head out looking for a telepath who might be able to heal Namor.

In other words, wow.  I haven't read this sort of tightly scripted thrilled since I think Bucky's time as Captain America.  Zdarsky isn't giving us brightly spandexed heroes here, but complex humans trying to do the right thing even though they're not entirely sure that they are.  It's a great story, and I recommend for anyone.

West Coast Avengers #10:  I am devastated this series is ending.  It was such an amazing breath of fresh air, full of feelings and fun and heart.  I am glad Thompson was able to advance the story of Kate's mom, and I totally bought the idea that her evil father somehow turned her into a vampire.  I somewhat less bought the idea that Johnny and Noh-Varr were suddenly in love (or, more accurately, in lust with another).  The sitcomesque group laugh after Kate wondered if she had ever dated anyone straight was funny, I guess?  But, you could tell it was rushed, and that devastates me, because this series deserved so much more.  I can't believe I'm not going to see Jeff the Landshark happily sitting in Quentin's lap anymore.  [Sigh.]  Kelly Thompson continues to be one of the best assets that Marvel has, and I hope Marvel finds something awesome to give her.  Paging a Young Avengers reboot, anyone?

X-Force #6:  In this issue, Hopeless really manages to unify a lot of threads from numerous stories not just over the last few months, but over the last few years.  He essentially uses the events of "Extermination" to reboot Cable, Stryfe, and their shared history entirely.

The core struggle between them remains the same as it was in the 1990s:  Apocalypse groomed Stryfe to take his essence, but he recanted when he realized Stryfe was Nathan's clone.  Stryfe believes himself to be the original Nathan, and he and Nathan go to war, causing destruction all around them.  Stryfe laments that destruction in this issue, wondering in his own megalomaniacal way how everything went so wrong.  (He's essentially mad he rules over a dead world.)  We learn that he and Clan Chosen are essentially at a standstill, and he's in desperate need of soldiers to gain the upper hand.  He gets that opportunity when a brief temporal storm leads the MLF to Nathan's headquarters and then to their journey into the past to find Cable.  Stryfe recognizes his chance in Transnia, providing its leaders with futuristic weapons in exchange for them giving mutants refuge.  The Transnians unknowingly then give him his army as he convinces the mutants to follow him into the future to live in the mutant Utopia that he's promised.  But, he then engineers the deaths of dozens of the refugees in transit to said Utopia, claiming that the same forces of oppression in the future destroyed the transport.  The refugees then rally to his cause.  Moreover, while in Transnia, he learns that its leaders have not only captured Ahab but also Rachel, and Stryfe brings her into the future with him.  In said future, Clan Chosen has been reconstituted after Nathan successfully ended the temporal storm when he returned the original X-Men to the past.  Clan Chosen is trying to find Cable when Rachel and her fellow hound attack.  In the present, Stryfe informs Kid Cable that he's captured Clan Chosen, has Mother Askani, and plans to have his MLF kill X-Force (whose assess they're kicking) if he doesn't surrender.  He does, and into the future they go.  If you're a fan of the 1990s stories about Cable and Stryfe, as I am, it's hard to be disappointed here.  Hopeless gets the, well, hopelessness of their relationship.  I'm hoping (heh) in the subsequent issues he examines the core struggle of identity that lies at the heart of their story.  But, for now, I'm a happy camper.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #19; Star Wars:  Age of Rebellion - Princess Leia #1

Not-Very-New Comics: The March 27 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  X-Tremists #2:  Williams does a great job of showing how tentative Nate's grasp on this reality is.  First, we learn that the X-Tremists are setting the wildfires so that it gives the X-Men something to do.  I'm assuming Nate is aware of that (though I'm also pretty sure that the X-Men aren't), but if he isn't then it raises questions about how actively Nate is calling the shots.  After all, someone gave the X-Tremists the order to set these wildfires.  But, Williams also shows how Nate's ability to prevent people from forming connections is doomed to fail, as Blob admits his feelings for Betsy.  If even his enforcers can't live by his rules, Nate is in trouble.  So far, the most interesting character in this series is Moneta.  She's violent in her treatment of the pregnant woman the X-Tremists (or "Department X" as they're known in-world) rounded up last issue, though we haven't yet been shown why she's such an extremist (heh).  She was created for this event, so she doesn't have a "real-world" analogue to give us a hint about her motivations.  We'll see where we go from here.

Amazing Spider-Man #18:  Spencer is on creative fire here.  I mean, I already thought that it was ingenious to reveal that Kraven's fellow hunters were controlling the Kravenbots through "advanced VR control unit[s]" imbedded directly into their cerebral cortexes.  But, he then turns it into Fortnite, as you can use your credit card to upgrade your hunter.  Brilliant.  But, I'll admit my enjoyment of this issue was constrained by Spencer going all "Women in Refrigerators" with Mary Jane.  He reveals that the Goblin-looking figure we've seen a few times is in the apartment with her, and I found myself rolling my eyes.  I mean, Spencer does some great work with MJ here, as she contemplates how much better she is about handling the stress of Peter's time as Spider-Man than she used to be.  But, it's overshadowed by turning her into a helpless victim yet again.  I get that Spencer seems to be setting up the next arc here:  Peter isn't able to save MJ because he's trapped in Arcade's Thunderdome.  But, I wonder if it was really necessary, because I would've preferred Spencer to spend more time on the fights in the dome.

Mr. and Mrs. X #9:  This issue reads like Kelly Thompson just read a Brené Brown book, and I'm totally on board with that.  Rogue realizes that it's her fear of connection that led her to keep her powers unchecked, putting a physical and psychological wall between her and the world.  Rogue tears down those walls here as she leans into her fear.  "Everything we've ever wanted.  It's up to us and nobody else.  Exactly as it should be."  I kind of need to hear that today, to be honest.  I can't wait for us to kick Mojo's ass next issue.  #issueoftheyearcandidate

X-Force #5:  This issue is a coda to "Extermination," which is why I'm tagging it here.  We finally see the future events that cause Nathan to force the original X-Men to return to the past.

In the future, Nate is fighting his war against the New Canaanites when suddenly two of his Clan Chosen soldiers, Bava and Flintshard, dissolve into the timestream and another solider, Spheeris, becomes a different soldier entirely, named Dorna, who claims that they all know him.  Eventually, Blaquesmith arrives and brings Nathan to one of the underground safehouses that older Nathan built.  The computer recognizes him and informs him that 893 temporal breaches have occurred since he was last there, but only one was critical:  Hank bringing the original X-Men to (our) present.  Blaquesmith explains the results of this decision are now hitting the present as timelines gets confused.  Blaquesmith and the computer introduce Nathan to Graymalkin, giving him his mission to maintain the timestream.  Blaquesmith expresses his disappointment in Nathan's older self for allowing his emotions to blind him.  (I'm still not entirely sure that we've ever gotten an adequate explanation for why Cable didn't send back the kids, but I think we'll get there eventually.)  It's a cool moment, as Hopeless is essentially showing us the moment that Marvel rebooted Cable to his younger self.  Cable then watches as his remaining allies, including his lover, Aliya, dissolve into the timestream.  Hopeless makes it clear that it's this loss that hardens Nate against Cable, showing him appearing at the burnt-out Xavier Institute as he did in "Extermination."  Meanwhile, we also see Stryfe and his Mutant Liberation Force learn about Nathan's activities from a pair of grotesque, Sugar Man-esque (but larger) figures.  Stryfe and the MLF follow Nate into the timestream to prevent Nate, who they deem a terrorist, from destroying their timestream.

In other words, Hopeless does an amazing job of covering a lot of ground while also telling a coherent story.  Is it functionally a reboot of the original Cable/Stryfe story?  Yes.  But, I love the return of Stryfe and his war with Cable, so I'm not complaining.  I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Also Read:  Avengers:  No Road Home #7; Star Wars:  Vader - Dark Visions #2

Not-Very-New Comics: The March 13 X Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  The Marvelous X-Men #2:  Beyond the hilariousness of Apocalypse as a prophet of love, the most interesting part about this issue is that Thompson and Nadler make it very clear that Nate doesn't have as much control over this world as he may think he does.  It isn't just because of Apocalypse and his protest:  as Nate himself says, only 40 or so mutants came to the demonstration.  It's because everyone seems to have flashes of their previous lives pretty frequently:  Logan instructing Laura, Storm fighting Magneto, Colossus and Kitty exchanging a glance.  But, I'm still not sure that I understand who remembers what and why.  For example, Colossus had no memory of Kitty or his relationship with her, whereas Magneto remembers his time as a villain, even if he struggles with the fact that his memory of fighting Storm stokes the rage he used to feel as one.  Moreover, Magneto breaks a wall in his home and through it sees a fight that he had with Wanda in "Avengers & X-Men:  Axis" #7.  At first, I thought it was just the whisky that he was drinking making him see things, but we see Storm watching the scene from outside.  I'm assuming the authors are showing how thing the illusions are that Nate is using, and it seems to be these weaknesses that that will ultimately doom Nate's enterprise.

Uncanny X-Men:  Winter's End #1:  I desperately want to like how Grace writes Bobby, but I have to admit that I'm just glad that he'll be in someone else's hands at some point.  This issue is a mess from start to finish as Grace just has Bobby leaping from exposition-heavy moment to exposition-heavy moment.  (Pet peeve #3 applies here, as Bobby even mentions all the exposition.)  Each moment deserves to be explored:  Bobby dealing with the fact that he himself didn't get to fall in love with a beautiful boy like his younger self did, Bobby dealing with young Jean's outing his younger self, Bobby dealing with his time-displaced villainous older self, etc.  But, Grace rushes through these moments as he just keeps trying to hit every note of his two "Iceman" series, from Christian Frost to Michaela to his parents, while also introducing new stories, like Bobby helping a neighborhood in Delaware recovering from flooding.  (Flooding?  In Delaware?)  It really feels like Grace had about 30 minutes to write this script, so he just thew everything into it.  The two "Iceman" series were uneven, but they didn't reserve the poor send-off they get here.

Also Read:  X-Force #4

Not-Very-New Comics: The February 27 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  X-Tremists #1:  This issue is bizarre mostly because I just don't understand what we're supposed to believe about Bobby.  He seems either seriously mentally ill or intellectually limited here.  He has a running gag with Jubilee about whether wax paper is the same as a baking sheet, and I can't for the life of me figure out why Williams included it.  Is it because he himself has been reprogrammed so many times it's broken him?  Plus, he's pretty chummy with Jubilee, which seems like a no-no.  Also, why are they baking "thank-you cookies" for the X-Men?  Isn't saying thanks a form of intimacy?  I can't tell if this issue is supposed to be this bizarre or if Williams is just throwing random stuff at us to see if it sticks.  The main tension of this mini-series appears to be the fact one of the "'grades" the X-Tremists capture is pregnant, presenting them with a moral conundrum they've never previously faced.  But, if the next four issues are like this one, I'm not sure I can enough to see how they resolved it.

Captain America #8:  This issue couldn't be better.  First, Coates uses Steve's narration to let us know we're in the dark before the dawn.  I didn't realize we needed that, but we did.  Coates is telling us to have faith in Steve, at a time when no one has faith in Steve.  It feels conspiratorial, a reminder we, the fans, will be rewarded for our faith.  America may have turned its back on Steve, but damn if we will.  Sharon also hasn't turned her back on Steve, and she's as masterful here as she always is.  She shakes down the Kingpin for information, wisely intuiting that Kingpin might've allowed Alexa to knock off Ross in his New York but he wouldn't be happy about sharing the stage with a new upstart villain.  He provides her the information she wants, that the Foreigner killed Ross.  Meanwhile, Steve sits in von Strucker's prison, with the Wrecking Crew telling him to take his moralizing and shove it.  Sure, they killed people but Steve did, too, with all his inspirational speeches.  Steve insists inspiring people isn't murder, but Piledriver tells him to ask Rick Jones about that.  (Ouch.)  While Steve realizes he needs a new name, Alexa secures a presidential pardon for Other Steve.  It's a particularly clever moment, because it's the third leg of the stool of corruption Coates is building her:  Kingpin as mayor of New York, a pardoned von Strucker running a prison, a pardoned Other Steve in the wild.  Coates is pretty openly commenting on our era of the grift, and he does so perfectly.  But, he also reminds us the villains might've overplayed their hand, and it feels like we see that when Alexa and Selene do something to turn Other Steve into a monster.  At first, I thought they would just use his face to make things worse for Steve.  Deciding to turn him into a monster seems a bad call.  I can't wait to see how it all unfolds.  I don't know if "Captain America" has ever been better, and that's a high bar considering how amazing it's been since Remender's days.

Detective Comics #999:  It's pretty fucking ballsy for Tomasi to reveal the last few issues have all been a simulation Batman runs every year on his birthday, a way of forcing himself to be the best he can be by sending his own self to try to kill him.  But, you know what?  I kind of buy it.  I normally hate these sorts of issues, but Tomasi sells through the dialogue, as Bruce's doppelgänger reminds him how he sacrificed himself so other children could have the childhood he didn't.  Tomasi even goes one better as Bruce takes out his surrogate parents, Leslie and Alfred, for dinner.  It follows the theme of "Batman Annual #3 (the "Father's Day" issue), turning a terribly brutal arc into a somewhat uplifting one.

The Flash #65:  Ugh.  Williamson had a good thing going when he focused on Bruce's relationship with Gotham Girl, but he jettisons that quickly here, presumably forced by management to focus on Barry and Bruce's "Heroes in Crisis" conflict.  It goes...poorly.  I don't for a minute believe Bruce would raise to Barry's bait as quickly as he does here, and I definitely don't believe he'd criticize him so cruelly for forgetting Wally existed.  But, "Heroes in Crisis" is apparently all about overwrought melodrama, so I'm at least glad I haven't subjected myself to it.  Along the way to this moment, Batman and Flash somehow miraculously save Claire, resurrecting her after she dies from the "super Venom" overloading her system.  You'd figure she'd be dead-dead, given she burns up her life energy every time she uses her power.  Instead, they just administer super-powered CPR, which somehow does the trick.  Also, she conveniently doesn't remember who gave her the "super Venom."

The Realm #11:  This issue is one of the most interesting of the series despite nothing really happening.

In terms of the main two storylines, we the start the issue with a trio of scarred humanoids escorting Redjaw and his companion back to Johnny.  (Haun only vaguely shows their faces, so I can't tell if they're actually human.)  One of the humanoids keeps running his mouth about how injured Redjaw looks.  While Redjaw's companion tells him to drop it, the humanoid hypothesizes Redjaw's too wounded to take back a portal, which is why Johnny sent the trio to collect them.  Redjaw has enough, leaps off his horse, and beats the humanoid to death.  I assume the remaining two humanoids will be quiet for the trip.  Meanwhile, we see Ben is in pursuit of the party.  Turning our attention to our party, Eli informs Will and Molly they're running low on supplies, and Will says he knows a guy near where they'll meet Rook who runs a farm where they can restock and trade.  Molly suggests Will tells them about his arm then, suggesting they put all their cards on the table.  Will responds by suggesting they tell him what David is carrying, to which Molly simply replies, "Fair enough."  Later, David discovers the symbol on the amulet the master used to restrain the monster inside Will is in one of the spellbooks that they swiped; he gives Will a curious look.  Elsewhere, Rook kills a pair of goblins who kidnapped a fairy, freeing it, before reuniting with the party.

But, the issue really gets interesting at this point, because Peck starts showing us other events happening in this world.  Mac and his party kill a bar full of patrons, arranging them in a circle so Mac can summon Johnny in one of the dead bodies.  Meanwhile, the Red Queen vomits all sorts of red fluid into a man, and he turns completely red like she is.  In his wanderings, he then infects another man, and they go their separate ways.  According to the Comixology intro to this issue, they're hunting for Will.  Interesting, they looked very normal, like you could've easily found them in a coffee shop in Williamsburg.

This issue and issue #10 are perfect examples of pet peeve #1:  their covers don't show what happens inside.  But, interestingly, the elephant-like creature that appeared on the cover of last issue appears briefly here, in one panel, though it seems like the rest of the party can't see him (despite looking in his direction).

West Coast Avengers #8:  I know I say it every month, but "West Coast, Best Coast!"  I love that the Skrulls are really vampires.  I mean, it's so old-school "West Coast Avengers."  That's exactly the sort of thing I'd expect to happen to them.  Also, they're not just vampires, but vampires using a Scientology-esque "religion" as a front.  It's so Los Angeles!  Man, I love this series.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #16; Avengers:  No Road Home #3; X-Force #3