Eleven-Month-Old Comics: The February 1 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

It's been a few months - OK, almost a year - but am I going to give it the old college try and attempt to get through my backlog?  Yes, I am!

Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty #9:  Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what happens here.  I think Captain America and his new Invaders' attempt to free Manhattan from A.I.M.'s control is all part of a simulation that M.O.D.O.C. created to keep them busy for...reasons?  I think?  Complicating matters, someone attacked M.O.D.O.K. during an interlude, but I'm not sure what conclusion we're supposed to draw from the attack.  It maybe turned him into M.O.D.O.C.?  Maybe?  Oof, this issue.

Dark Web Finale #1:  I don't even know what to say here.  This entire event was so utterly ridiculous that it seems equally ridiculous to try to recap it.  It's my job, though, so I'll try.

Madelyne opens Limbo's embassy to the United States in New York to show the people in the dark that they're also in the light.  (We're really pushing the "bad guys are just misunderstood good guys" schtick beyond the point of reasonable disbelief here.)  She also decides to keep Ben in prison in Limbo (something all good guys would totally do).  Of all the possible outcomes for Ben, "locked in prison in Limbo" is the lowest on my preferred list.  I'd almost rather him dead.

Of my many complaints about this "event," the central one is the fact that Wells seems to have created a solution to Ben's problem that no one ever suggested.  I don't see why Jean could've shared Peter's memories with Ben the way she did with Madelyne. Before this event, Wells implied that Peter would lose his memories if he shared them with Ben (though Wells never really fleshed out that premise).  As such, Jean's abilities resolve that problem (if it was indeed a problem).  

But, again, no one even suggests that course of action.  It isn't like someone did suggest it and Peter refused because he wouldn't be special if he shared his memories with Ben.  That would've at least given us an interesting moral quandary, since Peter would definitely be the asshole in that situation.  But, again, we never even get there.

In other words, given that Ben's lack of Peter's (good) memories is allegedly what drives Chasm's darkness, he seems a pretty problem to solve with Jean's help.  (He isn't Maria.)  

To make matters worse, Peter constantly harangues Ben for his anger that he isn't really a person, as if he should just get over it.  Does Peter forget the "Shrieking" arc, where he decided that he'd never be Peter Parker again given the pain he felt losing his parents during "Lifetheft?"  Again, even if Peter isn't the asshole (in the sense that he's unaware he could use Jean's powers to solve the problem), he is here.

I could continue but I won't.  It's all a fucking mess.

Minor Threats #4:  Holy fucking shit, this issue is amazing and intense.

Patton and Blum do a phenomenal job of keeping the gang ridiculous but the story serious all at once.  I really had no idea where the story was going page to page.  

More than anything, though, it's Pigeon's narration that makes this issue, as it really amps up the emotional punch of his eventual heel turn.  

In a flashback, Pigeon breaks into a museum to steal Fabergé eggs only to find a scalped security guard with one of the eggs implanted in his exposed brain.  His horror at the scene reminds me of Riddler's iconic line from "Secret Origins Special" #1:  "Joker is killing people, for God's sake."

Returning to the present, Pigeon explicates Stickman's goals for us.  First, he decided that his relationship with Insomniac had gotten too complicated.  He wanted to go back to basics; by killing Kid Dusk, he discarded the "child-endangerment thing."  Next, Stickman set the trap at the Trophy Room to trim Insomniac's rogues' gallery.  Now, he implants bombs in the team's brainstems and sends them, via his sidekick Sideswipe, to the Dream Cave with enough C-4 to destroy it.  To Stickman's mind, he'll make Insomniac "fun again" by breaking all his toys.  Ho boy.  Not many people are playing with full decks in Twilight City.

But the team's paranoia about the traitor amongst them gets the better of them; as Stickman listens via the microphones he fitted on them, they kill each other.  After Stickman arrives, a toy distracts Sideswipe, and his portal closes while he's halfway through it, killing him.

Of course, it turns out the gang isn't dead.  That said, man, the guys had me going there for a while.  I noticed the various tanks full of fish when the gang arrived in the Dream Cave, and apparently Scalpel did as well.  Once Playtime used her powers to send in nano-sized Army soldiers to remove the bombs from their brains, Scalpel used the puffer fish's tetrodotoxin to simulate their deaths.  

Confronting Stickman, Brain Tease claims that he saw through Stickman's "ruse" about a traitor amongst them, but he's proven wrong yet again when Pigeon holds a gun behind Playtime's head.

Via another flashback, Pigeon explains that he feared not just a future that involved this new level of brutality but also that he had no role in it.  Throwing in his lot with Stickman, Pigeon decided he might escape irrelevance.  (The scene where someone sends him a drink in a lonely diner on Christmas Eve is devastating.)  

As Stickman starts attacking the gang, Pigeon begins to realize his mistake and recalls how he had no one and nothing, but putting on the mask made him somebody.  He aches for the days when "the Code" meant something and the supervillains were all thick as thieves.  To save Frankie, he drives the Dreammobile (or whatever it's called) into Stickman.  Stickman tries to kill Pigeon as he reaches through the broken windshield, but Frankie uses his hammer to kill him.

With Stickman dead, a terrified Frankie tries to find a way to escape the Dream Cave.  But Insomniac arrives, and he's fucking nuts.  He's furious they took away killing Stickman from him and attacks Frankie.  Snake Stomper saves her, telling Insomniac that his punch is for Diego Salas before Insomniac kills him, another devastating moment in this issue.  Insomniac moves to take out Frankie, but she sees Toy Queen's jack-in-the-box gun in one of Insomniac's shattered trophy cases and uses it to decapitate him.  Never has a murder felt more just, I have to say.

In a news report, we watch as the cops lead Brian Tease to prison for the murders, and he seems thrilled.  Toy Queen wakes from a nap to find the blood-splattered gun where it belonged in her trophy case, realizing (also with joy) that Frankie killed Insomniac.

Frankie goes to Pigeon's hospital room and tells him that the Continuum agreed to leave Redport if she agreed to keep Insomniac's murder quiet.  To his horror, she then exiles him from Twilight City.  We later see Frankie with her daughter, so it's clear that the Continuum also cleared Frankie's name.  (Frankie's daughter apparently made a terrifying toy pony at daycare, so that's fun.)

Later that night, Frankie enters the bar where it all began.  Based on the respectful (and fearful) looks she gets, everyone knows that she killed Insomniac and Stickman.  Someone hands her usual ("Chilled it eight minutes like you said."), and she passes a shrine to Snake Stomper to the backroom.  There, Scalpel has a superhero tied to a chair, and he starts to rant about the Continuum.  Frankie holds a gun to his head and tells him to send a message that superheros aren't welcome in Redport.  He asks what the message is, and she says, "You are."

In other words, it's all just fucking amazing.  Unlike the tonal mess that is Wells' "Amazing Spider-Man," Oswalt and Blum really manage to combine drama and humor in a wonderful blend, so you never really know what to expect panel to panel.  I cannot recommend this series enough.

Moon Knight #20:  This issue is solid.  

Someone - "the Ghost in the Telephone" - brainwashed a pair of two-bit goons who 8 Ball identifies as the Harlequin Hit Men and had them kill Marc's five of the 12 members of Marc's former "Shadow Cabinet."  Hilariously, Marc dismisses the Hit Men as D-List villains given that 8 Ball called them "a couple of jokes" and they once fought Speedball.  But Marc isn't likely to take their murder spree lightly.

The back-up story is possibly the best part.  We learn that Marc's predecessor once helped Blade, so he's willing to do Marc a favor and teach Reece how to be a vampire.  I wouldn't have put two and two together there, but I'm thrilled McKay did because it's a great pairing.  Reece showed her worth in the main story as Marc's "woman in the chair," keeping him focused and using Jake to identify the route the Hit Men were taking so he could stop them.  Under Blade's guidance, she'll be a kick-ass vampire.

Star Wars:  Sana Starros #1:  Sana has two dads!  As a gay man raising a kick-ass daughter, I have to say that I love the idea that my little girl could one day maim and murder her way across the galaxy with the flare and grumpiness of Sana Starros.  (We also learn that Sana has an estranged twin brother, Phel.)

The issue begins with Sana realizing that she needs a break after apparently ending her relationship with Aphra.  As such, she comes to her grandmother's house, where her grandmother, Grammy Thea, informs us that she always comes home after a break-up.

Of course, it turns out Sana isn't the only one who makes questionable romantic decisions in the Starros family.  Her cousin, Aryssha, is pregnant with twins whose father is an Imperial officer, Captain Cerasus Ehllo, who storms Sana's grandmother house to find Aryssha.  It turns out Aryssha wanted to give birth at her ancestral home, but Ehllo wants her to give birth on his ship.  He takes her with him and then orders his troopers to kill Aryssha's mother, Mevera, and Grammy Thea.

Of course, Sana saves them...except they pretty much save themselves.  They take her to the armory, underscoring that Sana isn't the only, um, "capable" woman in the family.  It also turns out Ehllo taking Aryssha is part of the family's plan to steal back a family heirloom.  As Sana says, you can see why she doesn't visit often.  So much for her vacation.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The October 26 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

A.X.E.:  Judgment Day #6:  You know, this event wasn't half bad!

Gillen delivers what I can honestly say is the best concluding chapter to an event in recent memory.  The resolution isn't convenient or easy, and the Marvel Universe's status quo really is changed.  Go figure, right?

First things first, the heroes win by convincing the Progenitor to change his mind.  Gillen walks us through the Progenitor's thought process throughout the issue, as he finds himself impressed in the small and big ways the Earthlings are resisting his efforts.  That said, he's still actively trying to destroy the Earth and decides to go straight to the Eternals' city at the Earth's core to destroy the Reality Loom.

Meanwhile, Tony's team makes its way to the Progenitor's core, where they encounter the Progenitor's astral form (more or less).  Before Jean can go all Betsy on it, Ajak stops her.  I initially thought it was the moment Ajak turned on the team in the Progenitor's defense.  Then she pointed out he's the only way for them to resurrect the seven billion humans that he's killed, a consequence she (rightfully) says Jean isn't taking seriously given the mutants' ability to resurrect themselves.

At the Earth's core, Cap, Nightcrawler, and Starfox respond to the Progenitor's arrival by opening up Uranos' armories and arming all the humans who sought refuge in the city.  To help defend the city, Syne the Memotaur works with Exodus to somehow channels mutantdom's powers into her so she can take on the Progenitor.  To Jean's horror, Orchis also helps fight the Progenitor.  Believing that they don't have anymore time, Jean commits to taking out the Progenitor and saving who she can.

However, the Progenitor surprises everyone by revealing that he was aware they were in his core (despite him seemingly ignoring them).  He tells the team that Jean's actions secured his belief that the Earthlings deserve to die, since they're all creatures guided by self-interest.  To prove him wrong by showing the Etnerals can change (as seen in "A.X.E.:  Eternals" #1, when the Progenitor feed them from their restraints), Sersi has the Machine connect her to the world's population.  She reveals that the Eternals kill a human whenever they're resurrected and asks the non-Eternal Earthlings to judge them for it.  As Sersi tells the Progenitor that her actions show the Eternals' ability to change, he kills her since the Earthlings wanted her dead.

Before the Progenitor can finish off Earth, Jean reminds him that he failed her for killing a planet when she was totally insane and points out he's doing so with a "cold heart."  She ask if he thinks he can live with his choice, and he begins to realize that he can stop his course.  (Previously, he mused that stopping himself would mean that he made a mistake and thus wasn't a god, something that he comes to realize).  Tony gets him there by saying that he makes amends every day for his actions.  Finally acknowledging that he isn't a god, the Progenitor uses his power to fix what he's done.  Dying from the power he's expended, he asks Ajak if he was a worthy god and she says no.  He agrees and tells her to be better as he gives her his remaining power.

As Tony's team takes in its win, Ajak arrives as Ajak Celstia.  She says that the Progenitor didn't resurrect Sersi as she's a martyr for the Eternals' "new church," bringing "a chance of redemption for our fallen people."

In the epilogue, we get a number of touching moments.  Kenta tells his parents all about the people who helped him in the Eternals' city, not realizing that they were dead.  As a parent, Gillen tugs at my heart strings here as Kenta's parents realize that they're weirdly comforted to learn that kind-hearted strangers took care of their son after they died.

Meanwhile, Zuras apologizes to Storm in front of the cameras for the Eternals attacking the mutants and offers the Arakkii Uranos for one hour in compensation.  Zuras later reveals that he sentenced Druig to serve as Uranos' cellmate, which isn't going to be a pleasant experience for him.

The biggest status quo change here isn't that humanity hates the Eternals (though it does).  It's the revelation of Starfox's plan:  the resurrection of worthy humans.  Jean explains to the world that mutantkind will first resurrect the mutants who died in the mutant genocides.  Then, since mutantkind doesn't have the resources to backup the minds of eight billion humans, Jean will personally backup the chosen few through the Phoenix Foundation, with a priority on "the vulnerable, the weak, the poor and those whom the world has abandoned."  The Five will use five percent of their time to resurrect them.  

Scott tells Jean that it's a win, and it's hard not to see it as such.  In fact, it feels like it really fulfills Hickman's promise of a new reality for the X-Men.  They're not only helping to extend humans' lives and heal humanity's sick, they're now resurrecting humanity's most vulnerable.  But Scott points out the fight was also a win for Orchis, too, given its publicly viewed heroics, which complicates matters.

All in all, though, it was a pretty solid event.  I think we probably could've wrapped it up more quickly and you probably only really enjoyed it if you're an X-Men fan.  But I definitely take a good event any day!

Amazing Spider-Man #11:  Oof.  This issue is a mess.  

When Norman confirms to Peter that Kingsley was on hand when Hobgoblin thrashed him, Peter heads to Betty's. When Betty confirms that Ned has been wearing the costume again, she sends Peter to Ned's secret office.  There, Peter learns that Ned is using the "Winkler device," which is what Kingsley originally used to make Ned think that he was Hobgoblin. 

As such, it isn't a surprise when the Hobgoblin attacks Spidey or when Spidey unmasks him as Kingsley.  It is a surprise when Kingsley seems unaware that he was at the site of Hobgoblin's hit on Kingsley and Norman and when Ned appears beside Kingsley as Hobgoblin.  Two Hobgoblins!

I'm assuming Kingsley is actually Daniel Kingsley, Roderick's twin brother.  If he is, Wells has to explain how he isn't dead.  But I'm disappointed that Wells seems to tread on familiar ground hre.  Insane Hobgoblins with memory issues aren't really a hot take on this old character.  We'll see where we go.

Moon Knight Annual #1:  We get an excellent annual here, as Jack Russell kidnaps Diatrice in order to fulfill a prophecy that allows him to murder Khonshu.  Marc and Badr stop him, obviously, but not before McKay makes you wish that Marlene would allow Diatrice to stay in New York so we could marinate in her awesomeness more often.  In addition to Diatrice's awesomeness, McKay peppers great character moments throughout the issue, like when Marc slips into the Jake persona over the shock of seeing Marlene and Badr showing almost a sense of humor when he refuses to obey Khonshu's orders to kill Diatrice.  Marlene's warning to Reese that she'll one day realize that she can't keep Marc safe also rings scarily true.  All in all, it's a textbook definition of what a great annual should be.

New Mutants #31:  I have the same problem with this issue as I do with most gay movies, which is that I don't understand how we gays can make good movies for straight people but not for ourselves.  You would think that Charlie Jane Anders could write about the transgendered mutant she created for "Marvel Voices:  Pride" in a way that worked.  Instead, Escapade feels just like every "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss," where the only notable thing about the character is that they're [x].  Knowing this series is canceled after another two issues, I don't feel the need to hang around any longer.

Sins of the Black Flamingo #5:  For how uneven the last few issues were, Wheeler really sticks the landing here.

The issue begins with Sebastian touching the Devil's Tooth so that he can find Ezekiel.  (Apparently he saw Ezekiel the first time he touched the Tooth, which I don't remember.)  We then move to Ofelia later meeting with Scar and offering him Ezekiel's location since she's (allegedly) furious that Sebastian is going to give him to the Nazis.  Ofelia also gives Scar the Tooth as proof she isn't lying and asks only that Scar doesn't kill Sebastian.

At Ezekiel's location, Merrilee is none-too-pleased when Scar's men surprise her men.  Believing Sebastian betrayed her, she shoots him.  Sebastian plummets off the roof of the building where they're standing as Scar and Ofelia land in his helicopter.  Ofelia is furious that Scar let Sebastian (seemingly) die, though Scar makes the excellent point that he didn't kill Sebastian and it isn't his fault if Sebastian has so many people who want to kill him.  (Fair.)

As Scar prepares to retrieve Ezekiel, Sebastian arrives burning a magical incense that paralyzes Scar with fear.  Having covered himself in "dead things that allow us to walk among marsh lights" (whatever that means), Sebastian reveals that he's immune to the incense's power.  He then opens the storage container where Ezekiel is imprisoned and tongues him.

Meanwhile, in a nearby alley, a distraught Ofelia contemplates leaving behind magic and living a quiet life somewhere nice.  ("Open a bakery.  Date someone in flannel.  Live, laugh, love.")  Always-sexy Abel is with her and worries about Sebastian.  Ofelia is also worried, though more because Abel dies if Sebastian does.  It isn't looking good for Sebastian (and Abel), though, when Scar reveals that he was playing dead and stabs Sebastian in the neck with the Tooth.

As Abel collapses, Ofelia begins a spell that would sever his connection to Sebastian, though Abel stops her from completing it, giving Sebastian some time.  Sebastian proves worthy of Abel's trust as we learn that he slipped Ezekiel a shard of the Tooth when they kissed.  Ezekiel uses it to cut his collar and then destroys Scar and heals Sebastian, possibly also returning his soul (which Sebastian allegedly sacrificed when he touched the Tooth again, according to Ofelia).  As Ezekiel dissipates, he encourages Sebastian to live.

In the epilogue, Ofelia and Sebastian walk with Abel contemplating how to make the world a better place.

If it isn't clear from this recap, this issue crackles with efficiency and energy.  You really don't know what Sebastian is planning from page to page, making his redemption not a foregone conclusion but a welcome one when it comes.  I'm excited for the next installment in Sebastian's story, because he may just start seeing the benefit of walking on the light side.  Either way, he should definitely fuck Abel.

Also Read:  X-Terminators #2

Five-Month-Old Comics: The October 19 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Moon Knight #16:  This issue is a bit slow since Moon Knight spends a lot of time listening to Tutor's rival, Lady Yulan, explain vampire politics.  

Apparently Yulan worked for "the dread immortal Yi Yang" and claims to have killed a thousand men a century before Dracula was even born.  But Yi Yang went nuts due to the immortality's inherent alienation, and Yulan fled.  

Years ago, a still-human Tutor came to her with ideas about how vampirism could be humanity's next evolutionary step.  She didn't buy it.  When she refused to turn him into a vampire, he used one of her "brides" to turn himself.  

Now Tutor wants to gain international recognition for his budding empire, and Yulan hypothesizes that he's coming at Moon Knight because he's afraid that Moon Knight is making his own vampires.  (We found out Reese accidentally created Soldier after a piece of her heart entered his heart when they were shot.)  

Yulan informs Moon Knight that she a truce with Tutor since otherwise he'd inform Yi Yang about her whereabouts.  But she informs Moon Knight where he can find the conclave that Tutor is holding to gain his recognition.

Oh, also, it seems like Grand-Mal and the Nemean killed Hunter's Moon.  Moon Knight will handle that well.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #28:  If this Sabé storyline doesn't end soon, I'm done.  

Pak is really taking it too far as Sabé stays with Vader even after he brings her to the Emperor to decide what her future is.  The Emperor sees the darkness and ruthlessness in Sabé, so he encourages Vader to continue to mold her as an asset.  I get that.  After all, she's the Queen's Shadow turned just a Shadow, as Vader says.  

Their first assignment together is on Skako Minor, where Wat Tambor's grandson, Jul, is stirring up trouble.  (Vader killed Wat at the end of the Clone Wars.)  Vader sends Sabé to infiltrate Jul's organization.  I get that, too.

But Pak doesn't even try to explain why Sabé is still playing this game.  Once Vader betrayed her by surrendering her to the Emperor (and not confronting the Emperor for his lies, as Sabé believed they were doing), why didn't she leave at the first opportunity?  She didn't kill Vader because she trusted Padmé that there was good in Vader, but surely she has to see now that she was wrong.  

Pak's failure to address her motives is making this story all the more unbelievable than it already is.

X-Men #16:  Ugh.  I actually liked this story more than I thought I would, except Duggan undoes decades of Alex's development and growth by turning him into an impetuous and jealous child (metaphorically, not literally).  

The X-Men's mission is almost ruined when Alex suddenly - and for no reason that I can see - attacks Scott over the fact that Scott didn't support Alex joining the X-Men.  Why they're having this fight in the middle of a high-risk mission, Duggan doesn't say.  But Alex's attack accidentally (and conveniently) releases the real Perro (who Forge is impersonating inside the Vault).  It takes the X-Men's best efforts to get Perro into stasis again.  It's a cool fight, but I was enraged the entire time given how it started.

Meanwhile, the issue's preamble showed Forge approaching Sinister to help him build his suit, and the identity of the third mutant whose gifts Forge used to build it remains a mystery.  It seems this mutant's gift will allow Forge to escape the Vault quickly, though his plan is set back a bit when it turns out the mutant he detected is Laura, not Darwin.

Forge is now worried Darwin is dead and the Children of the Vault have his powers, though I feel like he's underestimating Darwin's powers.  After all, if he could live for decades inside Vulcan, couldn't he live inside Laura?  I guess we'll see.

Six-Month-Old Comics: The September 7 Marvel Non-Event Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Moon Knight #15:  This issue is such a wonderful tour of the cast's relationships that it feels wrong to analyze it too much.  I would just say that it leaves you feeling like Marc may actually have a life for the first time in a long time.  I'm sure that'll end well.  Come for jokes about DID, stay for the hug with Reece.

Star Wars #27:  This issue is better than the last one, thankfully.  

Soule does a great job showing Bevelyn and Melton's desperation as they flee the second Death Star with their kids in tow.  They aren't action heroes, so they make mistakes as they escape pursuit.  For example, they're forced to jump to the various pre-programmed destinations in their stolen shuttle's navigational computer since they don't really have a place to go.  

Eventually, they find themselves on Coruscant, with Melton hoping that it's a large enough place for them to avoid detection.  Based on the (presumably) Imperial ships heading to their crash site, he might've been too optimistic.  The good news for them is that Luke decides to take up their case after hearing about it at an intelligence briefing.  (He tells the briefer that he has a good feeling about it.)

I'll admit that I'm not entirely sure what Bevelyn and Melton thought was going to happen when they became Crimson Dawn spies.  It seems reasonable to assume that they'd have made some sort of plan for the eventuality that the Imps discovered their treason.  I mean, they should've at least made sure that they had their Crimson Dawn hander's contact information on them at all times!  

I'm also a little skeptical about all the Rebels refusing to help them because they're afraid that it's a trap.  I get they're scarred from Zahra's attacks, but they presumably have some way to meet potential informants while mitigating the possibility of a trick.

As I said in my review of last issue, I love Soule, but he feels off in this arc so far.

Also Read:  Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty #4; New Mutants #29

Six-Month-Old Comics: The August 3 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman #126:  As expected, Zdarsky isn't fucking kidding.

The issue begins with a recovering Robin telling Batman to mind his own business when Bruce expresses concern that Tim is already on patrol.  Bruce returns to the Cave, and Zdarsky picks up the thread from last issue as Bruce muses how the kids don't understand that they ultimately can't keep their costumed identities and find "love and happiness."  (Yes, it's weird to see Bruce say the words "love and happiness.")  Before Bruce goes any farther down that road, Failsafe attacks!

Zdarsky makes it clear that Failsafe is Bruce's un-fucking-stoppable Doomsday.  Within six punches thrown, Bruce realizes that he's dead if he stays in the Cave.  He manages to grapple himself to the Batmobile and order it to speed to safety.  But the bomb Bruce throws at Failsafe as he leaves the Cave does no good as, still on fire, it finds Bruce in the city.  Bruce admits to Oracle that the situation is bad, and Jiménez does a great job of showing actual fear in Bruce's eyes as Failsafe grabs his cape and hurls him to the ground before he can escape up a fire escape.  

Bruce contemplates the end, which only doesn't happen because Batgirl (Cassandra), Signal, and Spoiler arrive.  Failsafe almost immediately takes out Stephanie, and Signal distracts Failsafe while Robin gets Bruce into the Batmobile so he can meet Leslie at the Cave.  A concussed Bruce murmurs to himself that Failsafe sounds familiar, and Tim floors it to flee the pursuing Failsafe.  Nightwing arrives in time to buy Tim time to escape.  Failsafe dismisses the team as "little soldiers" and takes out Batgirl and Spoiler.  He then rips off Duke's helmet and scans it, gaining access to the team's systems.

Leslie is startled to find Failsafe in the new Cave, but Bruce had Tim take him to the old one.  Cryptically recalling that he "went too far" in his early days before the "children" softened him, Bruce activates Zur-en-Arrh!

In the back-up story, two previously unidentified Penguin heirs - Addison and Aiden - have murdered their ten siblings.  Well, they tried to murder all ten:  Selina manages to prevent a disguised Aiden from murdering Ethan, from "Batgirl."  But he's left in a vegetative state.

Selina puts together this sequence of events the next day when Addison and Aiden arrive at the Executor's office for the will reading.  They have notarized copies of documents vouching for their DNA, and Selina recognizes Aiden is wearing the same cufflinks as Ethan's attacker.  Since the will excludes Ethan due to his vegetative state, the Executor announces that Addison and Aiden inherit the Iceberg Lounge and Penguin's other real-estate holdings.  Addison loses her mind, though, when the Executor announces that Penguin's money goes to the Flights of Fancy Bird Sanctuary in Metropolis.  Aiden then hustles her out the door.

Before Addison and Aiden arrived, Selina asked the Executor for the names of the mothers of Penguin's children so she could split her $500,000 fee among them .  After Addison and Aiden depart, she cryptically asks the Executor for one more address.

All in all, I couldn't be happier with Zdarksy's run so far.  As I hoped, the main story brings the sort of propulsive energy and astute characterization that he brought to Spider-Man, and the Catwoman mystery is a great accompaniment.

Immortal X-Men #5:  Oof.  

The best part of this issue is Bandini and Curiel's art, whose brightness and clarity brilliantly matches Exodus' story as a knight in the employ of a series of messiahs (Apocalypse, Magneto, and now Hope).

Unfortunately, the art does more to walk us through Exodus' thousand-year journey than anything Gillen does.

Exodus realizes that he's lost in his memories because the Uni-Mind is attacking and it's using this ploy on all the Council members to distract them from the attack.  I'll admit that it's a solid plan on the Uni-Mind's part.  I'll also admit that Gillen does a great job of scripting Exodus' fever-driven way of speaking and thinking.  Combined, however, the disjoint narrative and crazed script make the issue difficult to follow.  

I also don't know enough about Exodus' past to know whether Gillen is ret-conning his history, filling in gaps in said history, or rehashing events that we've seen elsewhere.  But it certainly feels odd for Gillen to spend so much time on Exodus' history when this issue also gives us the Hex attacking Krakoa for the first time.

Again, I keep reading this series because it's essential to understanding the X-Men's current status quo not because it's interesting in and of itself.

Moon Knight #14:  McKay and Cappuccio do a great job balancing Marc's characterization-driven conversation with Jake and Steve with the ass-kicking punishment he gets from Grand Mal and Nemean.  

For example, Jake and Steve point out Marc is getting his ass handed to him because he's trying too hard to keep them on the bench.  In fact, they note Marc is usually the one who gets them into trouble.  Marc says that he's trying to hide his disorder from Reece because he doesn't want to scare her away.  Jake and Steve point out Reece is actually managing her chronic disease unlike Marc, who is actively ignoring it.  All excellent points, fellas.

In the end Hunter's Moon and Tigra find Marc's broken body, and Marc agrees to let in Jake and Steve.  Of note, I was happy to see McKay mentioning previous series' events during the conversation, a rare creator who doesn't pretend he invented a legacy character from scratch.  Good times (for us, not Marc), they're a-comin'!

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus #5:  This issue is similar to the previous ones:  a long series of expository conversations to update us the status quo of another B-list 2099 hero.  This time, it's the X-Men's turn.

The mutants are homeless after the Cabal used its Sentinels to seize the mutant homeland in the Savage Land for reasons I don't think Orlando specifies other than the Cabal is e-v-i-l.  The action (such as it is) starts when Northstar discovers a mutant at the heart of the Celestial Garden, which Cerebra decides means it's the new mutant homeland.  (Ballsy.)

Upon arriving, the X-Men discover an adamantium mountain that Rogue turns to gas using Voght's powers. Inside is a Doom-manufactured canister holding X-Man's eye.  Before Orlando can explain, the Cabal's Sentinels attack.  Spidey and Nostromo arrive to help just as Osborn arrives with more goons.

This issue is perhaps the most wooden of an already mediocre series, as the X-Men are little more than plot-advancing mouthpieces.  I'm glad we're finally wrapping up this series so someone other than Orlando can hopefully take the 2099 ball and run with it.  It isn't a lot, but it's what I've got.

Spider-Punk #4:  When the villain spares the hero in the penultimate chapter, it's usually the author's naked ploy to amp up the drama.  It is here, too.  Unusually, though, Ziglar gives Green Goblin a solid reason for "sparing" Hobie, Kamala, Karl, and Riri:  he's going to execute them publicly!  During his various super-villain monologues, Norman - whose head survived Hobie decapitating him due to the Venom symbiote - explains to Hobie that his death at Hobie's hands made him a martyr to all the fascists and racists who supported him.  I actually thought at various moments that one or more of the Spider-Band might die, so I'm really not sure how next issue is going to go, y'all!

X-Men Red #5:  Unlike "Immortal X-Men" #5, Ewing shines in this tie-in issue, showing us how Uranos decimated Arakko, as we saw in "A.X.E.:  Judgment Day" #1.

It isn't just Uranos himself attacking the Arakkii, but his "armories," a series of destructive tools that range from a bio-metallic slime infecting the Morrowlands to a self-replicating machine army invading Argyre Planitia.  Ewing provides a timer in each panel, underscoring how devastating Uranos' attack is when Brand, Cable, and Magneto are all dead before Uranos uses up 20 minutes of the hour Druig allowed him.  

The scene where Uranos rips out Magneto's heart is particularly brutal and shocking, which makes the last page's revelation that Magneto somehow survives without his heart all the more confusing.  Other than that, it's a pretty spectacular issue that underscores the threat the mutants face in the Eternals.

Three-Month-Old Comics: The July 13 Edition - The Everything-Else Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Moon Knight #13:  Ooo, this series keeps getting better and better.

Moon Knight has set his sights on Tutor and his vampire pyramid-scheme, which remains one of the best and funniest plots that I've ever read in a comic.  According to Moon Knight, he's put off getting vengeance for what Tutor did to Reese for too long.  It's a solid enough excuse; he's had a lot on his plate since then.  I was actually impressed with McKay returning to it.  It's like how the best Batman and Spider-Man writers get the balance between "monthly idiot villain" and "shadowy scheming adversary" just right.  Even though Joker is planning on blowing up Gotham, it doesn't mean Calendar Man isn't also trying to rob a bank.

But McKay goes one further:  Reese and Tigra discuss how Steve is really doing it as revenge for Soldier.  The way everyone talked about Soldier, I figured that we were going to see him in comatose in a hospital.  Instead, Reese turned him into a vampire!  Brilliant!  That said, Tutor is pissed, because he believes that he's the only person in New York who can convert people.  He hires Taskmaster as a consultant and tries to get him to take out Moon Knight.  Taskmaster, wisely, declines.  As such, Tutor hires Grand Mal and Nemean, who I don't know but look, um, unfriendly.

Meanwhile, Reese wants more information about Steve, which Steve is unwilling to provide at this point.  But he does call a meeting between the various personalities, which promises to make next issue a fun one.

I'm really impressed with McKay moving us into such a great premise for the next arc.  These transitions are usually difficult, but McKay launches us here into a status quo that makes perfect sense in terms of where we've been.  Read this series!

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus #4:  At some point, it became clear that Orlando wasn't putting in too much effort to tell whatever story he initially intended to tell.  For example, Miguel starts this issue by suddenly informing us that he needs to find the Black Widow so that she can lead him to Doom's heir, a technopathic mutant named Nostromo.  Apparently Nostromo turned over Latveria to its people so Miguel figures that he can use his technopathic powers to take out the Cabal's Black Cards without feeling tempted to use said Black Cards.  (Of course, I don't understand why the Cabal couldn't just make new Black Cards, but, again, we're kind of past trying to find narrative logic here.)  

I had to read it twice to (almost) understand, but Nostromo is in hiding because he knows that Doom (and not Osborn) actually killed Jovion the Enactor with Hawkeye's help.  Hawkeye wants Nostromo dead because the Cabal would otherwise want him dead as the only other person who knows that Doom, and not Osborn, killed the Celestial.  (It has something to do with the right of ownership, I think?)  Anyway, after finding Nostromo, Black Widow travels to Hawkeye's orbiting station and kills Hawkeye before he can kill Nostromo.  She's Yelena, somehow, and Hawkeye apparently killed Natasha.  So it's revenge.  Sure.  Great.

Miguel takes Nostromo to the Celestial Garden but Sentinels are attacking so the X-Men on next issue's "heroes of the month."  [Sigh.]  We'll just stop there.

Spider-Punk #3:  This series continues to be the best time in comics.  After the Spider-Van dies in a confrontation with Kingpin's Marauders (a brilliant combination of Armor, Daken, and Sunfire that I wouldn't mind seeing in the real world), Hobie and Kamala put together a side project (hilarious) with Philly's Daredevil to take out Kingpin and free the goods that he hoards so they can fix the van.  (It gave me March 2020 flashbacks, y'all.)  Along the way, we get the same whip-smart banter that we've gotten through out this series.  I love it so, and I would love to see what Ziglar could do beyond the five-issue structure.  But, if I only get these five issues, I'll take it.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #25:  This issue is like an old "Challenge of the Super-Friends" episode, as T'onga and her crew battle the Knights of Ren.  Obviously, that's high praise

Sacks does something here that we often don't see, namely putting the series' main characters in a situation they can't overcome.  When Bossk realizes that they're facing the Knights of Ren and immediately suggests they run, Tasu is dismissive.  By the time the team is lucky enough to escape with their lives, Tasu realizes that the guy with maybe more muscles than he has (i.e., Ren) almost beat him.  I'm hoping Sacks follows up this realization with a deep dive into Tasu's psyche, since it seems like his abilities are almost like Gladiator's, dependent on his self-confidence.  T'onga releasing the injured crew to continue what now seems like a suicide mission to get Cadeliah is poignant, a sign of just how close this crew has become.  It isn't all emotion, though, as Sacks has the characters also get in some pretty great banter.

My only criticism is that Valance continues to feel like an afterthought here.  That said, Sacks ups the stakes as Haydenn learns that the Empire wiped out the Rebel base where Yuralla was stationed.  She declines to tell Valance that, as she's trying to get him to see that he could be happy with the Empire, introducing him to the engineers he saved.  (I don't recall that happening but it sounds like it happened last issue.  I only remember the failure to prevent the officer's assassination last issue.)

The good news is that I feel like Sacks is moving us where we need to be, concluding T'onga's quest for Cadeliah while at the same time preparing Valance for the next stage.  I'm curious where we go when that happens.

Undiscovered Country #19:  This issue is straight to the point.  

While Charlotte and Valentina are stuck in a time loop in Revolutionary War America -- dying in a hail of bullets every time they're discovered -- Ace, Chang, and Janet find themselves at a "V-Day" parade in Times Square.  A besuited President [Alex] Graves is cheering the "great liberators" - Ace, Charlotte, Daniel, Pavel, and Valentina - but the crowd recoils in horror  when they realize the "great villains of our greater nation" are in the crowd - Chang and Janet!

In their era, Charlotte and Valentina wonder how they've gone backwards in history, and it's clear that Ace, Chang, and Janet have gone forward, possibly to an era after the Closing.  It implies some treachery on Chang and Janet's part, treachery that the rest of the team overcame.  But it also raises the question how Alex can be in two times at once, unless he and Daniel arrived here after the events of "Undiscovered Country:  Destiny Man Special" #1.

In other words, it isn't the most exciting issue in and of itself, but it sets up a story that I think could really get to the core of what Snyder and Soule are doing here.

Three-Month-Old Comics: The June 22 Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #4:  Other than the MJ sub-plot, this issue is everything I want a Spider-Man story to be.  

Kareem saves Peter before Tombstone's goon shoots him in the head.  Kareem tells Peter that Tombstone is also gunning for Robbie (in addition to planning the 125th massacre to pin on the Rose).  Peter makes his way through Tombstone's hideout in the hopes that he can stop the massacre before it begins.  Along the way, he manages to call Randy to warn him about his father.  

Of course, it turns out Tombstone made Peter do his dirty work:  Peter wasn't below Tombstone's hideout, but the Rose's.  Man, if only we had more villains like Wells' Tombstone!  

Meanwhile, Tombstone apparently just wanted to have a man-to-man talk with Robbie now that they're going to be family.  Rubbing salt in that wound, the issue starts with MJ speaking with her daughter, who looks almost exactly like her so maybe isn't her step-daughter?  In sum, Tombstone gets a happy ending with family and Peter gets...well, not a happy ending.

In other words, it's a spectacular issue from start to finish.

Immortal X-Men #3:  I still feel like I'm reading this series more from obligation than anything Gillen is doing here.  Like the other issues, I came close to skimming as Destiny monologued as she always does.  

To save you the time, Destiny has the same precognitive explosion - presumably due to her new body - as she did when her powers first manifested when she turned 13 years old.  Many of these visions relate to Mr. Sinister's cloning of Moira, as her powers allow him to dominate future timelines.  When something goes wrong for him, he simply resets the timeline.  

Awakened from the explosion-induced coma, Destiny now must find a way to stop Sinister without tipping her hand to other Council members, given her lack of trust in them.  (To show she isn't crazy for thinking that way, Charles' continued asshole behavior gets so bad in this issue that even Kate calls him on it.)  Destiny's real sorrow comes from the fact that she doesn't see Raven in any of these timelines.  As Raven is the only person she trusts, she's a woman alone.

The only interesting part of this issue for me was Gillen cleverly ret-coning Destiny's previous death as necessary for Krakoa to come into existence.  Destiny now realizes that she would've killed Moira as planned, preventing the sequences of events that led to Krakoa happening.  At the time, Destiny only knew her death was necessary, since, as we know, she couldn't see Moira.  In the Krakoa era, I appreciate it when authors take the time to make Krakoa seem inevitable, even if we didn't know it at the time.

Knights of X #3:  Enh.  I'm finding it increasingly hard to engage with this mini-series, because every time we seem close to moving to the story's next phase Howard throws up a roadblock.  

Here, Betsy and her team make their way to the stronghold where the Sevalithi are holding Death.  (According to the editor's note, the Sevalithi imprisoned him after his defeat in "X of Swords."  I have no recollection of that, so I assume that it happened in Howard's "Excalibur.")  Death informs Betsy that Apocalypse was obsessed with the Siege Perilous, and Rictor realizes that Apocalypse's grimoire has the answer to its location.  Building off Doug's email to Rictor last issue, Rictor gives the grimoire to Death to read, and Death confirms that it details Apocalypse giving the Siege Perilous to Mercator to start his land.  I don't recognize Mercator or his land, but I'm sure we'll get there.

Meanwhile, Rachel is finally able to connect telepathically with Betsy (probably because it's daylight in Sevalith, reducing the vampires' powers).  To Mordred's disappointment, Shatterstar teleports the team to the Crooked Market to help.  It all goes to Hell when Merlyn arrives, and Gambit sacrifices himself in attacking Merlyn so Meggan can free Crooked Jim.  Gambit somehow seems confident in his resurrection, even though I'm pretty sure that the Five can't resurrect mutants who die in Otherworld?  Is the Siege Perilous going to do it?  I guess we'll see. 

At any rate, the Crooked Jim story hopefully related somehow to the Siege Perilous story since, at this point, I'm wondering why we've spent so much time on it.  It feels like Howard didn't have enough story related to the Siege Perilous for five issues so she cooked up this sideplot.  Hopefully I'm wrong.

Moon Knight #12:  Marc's fight with Zodiac surprisingly wraps up here.  That said, no one is more surprised about it than Marc.  Why?  Brilliantly, McKay has Steve Grant take control of their shared body.  Steve does so because he's concerned that Reese will see Marc differently if she watches him kill Zodiac.  To be fair to Marc, he was going to kill Zodiac to save Reese from doing it because he was worried it would change her.  (Reese was going to do it because Zodiac shot Soldier after he realized that he wasn't Moon Knight.  I'm just hoping Soldier really isn't dead.)

In addition to this unexpected twist, McKay is a delight throughout this issue as he uses every character in the roster to their fullest potential.  The path that Khonshu opened for Marc and Tigra goes right through the resting place in the Afterworld of the Firsts of Khonshu (which is news to Marc).  After the former Fists follow Marc and Tigra to Earth and wind up helping them take out Zodiac's goons, a now-freed Hunter's Moon returns them to their rest, since, after all, Marc doesn't know how to do so.  With everyone pissed at Zodiac, I can't wait to see how this crew is going to handle Steve and goody two shoe-ness.

Three-Month-Old Comics: The May 25 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #2:  Jesus fucking Christ.  I thought I was going to spend this review complaining about how Mary Jane is now a step-mother or something else related to last issue's revamping of Peter's status quo.   But Wells makes it clear that these concerns really pale (heh) in comparison to the fact that Tombstone might really just kill Spider-Man after he tricks Peter into a trap.  Underlining that Tombstone is playing for keeps, Wells has Tombstone send away Janice because he's going to become the man that he's never wanted her to see.  It's...a lot.  As disappointed as I am about the Mary Jane situation, I am more and more excited that Wells is going to meet my (high) hopes for him taking over the title.

Moon Knight #11:  Zodiac goes full Joker here, revealing his goal is to take away everything from Marc so that he can become "self-actualized."  To Zodiac's mind, that means Marc killing everyone all the time.   His plan was to lure Marc to where Jigsaw was holding Dr. Sterman.  While Jigsaw killed Dr. Sterman in front of Marc, Zodiac would kill Reese at the Mission.  

Thankfully, Jigsaw is an idiot, so Marc, Tigra, and Winner manage to save Dr. Sterman.  That said, Zodiac isn't an idiot, so he's definitely got time to kill Reese and at least a few neighbors before Marc and/or the police arrive.  In order to get there in time to prevent that outcome, Marc asks for Khonshu's help.  

I haven't gotten over the PTSD I feel from reading "Avengers:  Age of Khonshu;" I still don't understand why Marc sold Khonshu down the river when Khonshu was right about Mephisto.  But Khonshu doesn't seem angry enough about it to let Marc shirk his responsibilities as Moon Knight and opens a path for him and Tigra to get to the Mission as quickly as possible.  Because it's "Moon Knight," Khonshu makes it clear that it's going to get bloody.  

Meanwhile, Soldier dresses as Mr. Knight and goes with Reese to confront Zodiac to buy Moon Knight some time.  (I'm worried about Soldier's handsome face.)  Given his and Reese's dedication, Zodiac makes an excellent point about how Khonshu isn't the only one with Fists.  Let's see how they fly!

Newburn #7:  The series takes a turn as we learn that Emily was a former cadet who left the academy after she and another cadet were somehow involved in a murder.  Unfortunately, it turns out the murdered person was the nephew of the Albano family's boss.  When the other cadet - now a police officer - gets in too deep to pay off his gambling debt, he sells this information to the guy running the den who in turns sells it to the Albanos.  

Emily bumps into her former classmate as she's helping Newburn investigate the murder of the Yakuza boss.  Her classmate arrests her to prevent her from leaving HQ since he knows that the Albanos are going to kill her.

I don't entirely get how he knew the Albanos chose that moment - while she was in a police station - to kill her, but I'm hoping Zdarsky explains that later.  It borders on pet peeve #3 by having one of the hitmen complain about taking out someone at a police station, which, you know, doesn't seem the best idea.

Past the Last Mountain #3:  If this series' main story has so far been about the sacrifices necessary to maintain hope and innocence in the post-war era, the War Stories have been about the war's brutality - emotionally, physically, and socially.  These themes converge in this issue, as Simon is driven to murder.

In fact, the main story's theme this issue is on the "peace's" brutality.  Neil brings three Goblins with him as he searches for the companions.  On the way to where they think the companions are, the lead Goblin taunts Neil about how scared humans are of Goblins.  In this exchange, we learn that humans not only keep Goblins in cages in a pit but refuse to give them names:  they get a number.  It's chilling to see how dehumanized, if you will, the humans have made the Goblins.  But we also realize, by comparison, that they're not treating the other creatures much better:  the humans, not their parents, give them their names.  Neil asks the Goblin what his name is, and the Goblin refuses to answer.

The teams lands and the Goblins find the companions.  Willa lays down fire to scatter the humans and attacks one, which results in another human dropping the pole he was using to restrain the lead Goblin.  In turn, he tells the other Goblins to fight their bloodlust and run, a sign of how his bravado in the helicopter was a sign of who he used to be, not who he is now.  When Neil angrily shouts "47" at him (revealing his number), 47 turns and attacks.  Trevor throws himself in front of Neil, and 47 devours him. 

It's here where innocence, if not hope, dies.  Simon is holding the sword that Kate dropped in a fight with a human and uses it to kill 47 in revenge for "Trevor Trollfriend's" murder.  In a devastating flashback, we see that 47 didn't tell Neil the name that his parents gave him because he no longer remembered it.  As we contemplate the end of 47's shattered life, Neil is shaken when he realizes that Simon is his son's age.  He tells Simon that he should've protected him and lets the companions go.  He then kills the remaining Goblins so they can't follow them and tells the team that they're retreating.  

Meanwhile, Kate succumbs to the tranquilizer dart that a human successfully fired at her and tells Willa to leave with Simon.  Willa wants to kill the rest of the humans to keep Kate safe, but Simon grabs her and drags her through the forest, telling Willa that they'll keep going like Kate would've done for them.  We then learn that Dragon Lake is real:  it's the crossing into Alberta, Canada.  That said, it's unclear how well the armed guards at the heavily fortified crossing will treat the companions.

Fittingly, the War Stories are particularly brutal this month, as war has left a Fairy seeing her harp only its possible use as a weapon and two Troll children watch the humans murder their general father.  If the peace is brutal, the war is worse.

Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus #1:  Although I enjoyed this issue, I'm concerned that Orlando is going to go the "Marvel 2099" route, where this mini-series devolves into just presenting the 2099 versions of current B- and C-list characters.

It begins right where "Spider-Man 2099:  Exodus - Alpha" #1 ended, with Miguel successfully ferrying Zero's people to Transverse City.  Mission accomplished, Miguel is concerned that Osborn's bounty will have "mothers gutting sons" to secure the Celestial Garden for him.  Zero shows his gratitude for Miguel's assistance by bringing in Winter Solider 13 to help.  He informs Miguel that she has a "standing offer" on the murmurnet to trade intelligence for wetworks.

As she approaches a fortress in Zimnii Metch (Siberia, Free Russian Alliance), 13 exposits that her story really began when the new chief of the Winter Solider program decided they were too dangerous.  As such, he set up the Soldiers to sabotage Alchemax's "relaunched Aesir program" only for one of the "deified death troops" (i.e., Thor) to destroy everyone but 13.  (If I remember "Fall of the Hammer" from the original 2099 timeline correctly, we never really got a good sense of what Alchemax wanted to do with the original Aesir program.)  We learn that the intelligence that 13 wanted via her murmurnet offer was on her betrayers.  Zero gives her the information she needed most:  it's where the final one was hiding, which is why we're in Zimnii Metch.

13 enters the fortress to find Chief Woland, presumably the aforementioned chief.  We learn that he's a Cabal pledge and wants to win Osborn's bounty.  In exchange for a cracked mysterium datadrive that tells her who she is, Woland suggests she come with him to the Celestial Gardens to heal the drive and win the bounty.  Instead, she kills him, risking the Boneyard - the Cabal's security team - coming after her.  Using Woland's black card, 13 boards a teletrain to Nueva York.  

Once the jump gate opens, 13 exits into the Wastes, knowing Crossbones is on her tail.  Their fight is brutal, as Crossbones rips off her metal arm and taunts her about killing Bucky and taking his arm as a prize.  (I guess Crossbones was part of the crew that publicly killed the Avengers.)  Using a knife that she swiped from a kind older woman who fed her on the train, 13 cuts off Crossbones' arm and plunges the knife through his skull.

Using the Garden to affix Barnes' arm and heal the drive, 13 is stunned to learn that her family is real.  In a rare win for the 2099 reality, she finds them.  In exchange, she uses her "winter song" (i.e., her emp power) to take out Madame Web's airborne servers and, with them, the murmurnet.  By silencing "the entire dark metaverse," she effectively shut down the bounty.  Miguel expresses concern that they'll come after her, but she probably correctly surmises that Osborn is going to have to go after the Garden himself since he can't rely on the bounty for people to do it for him.

Again, I enjoyed this issue and 13's story.  That said, I'm worried that next issue's focus on Loki means this "event" is just yet another short-story collection Marvel plans on forgetting once it reboots the 2099 line yet again.  I hope I'm wrong.

 

Also Read:  Devil's Reign:  Omega #1

Two-Month-Old Comics: The Superhero March 2 (2022) Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #91 (March 2):  I love Kelly Thompson, but I'll admit that her humor-based approach didn't feel like the best fit for this issue.  I mean, yes, it was the right fit for the demonic multiplying kitties, obviously.  But, the main point of this issue is Ben's increasing descent into madness as he loses more and more memories.  Thankfully, he remembers enough to go after Maxine but unleashes a souped-up Lizard on Colleen, Misty, and Peter so that they don't get in his way.  I get that he's unstable, but we never really get insight into why he thought that they'd get in his way.  In other words, it isn't a terrible issue, but I'd have enjoyed it more if Thompson treated Ben a little more seriously.   

Devil's Reign:  X-Men #2 (March 2):  To my mind, this issue is tied with "Edge of Spider-Verse" #2 (which introduced Spider-Gwen) as the best tie-in issue of all time.  I'd love to read a Duggan/Noto series about Emma's misadventures in '80s and '90s New York.  

In the past, Emma helps Elektra extricate Isabelle, the girl who witnessed her "work" last issue, before Kingpin can eliminate her.  Duggan shows a more brutal New York here than we typically saw in that era's superhero comics.  Kingpin learns about Isabelle after she tells her foster parents about what she saw and they go to the police hoping to collect a tipster reward.  (The police naturally tip off Kingpin.)  Emma is appalled that they just left her alone.  It all fits with Emma walking a darker road during that era than Daredevil or Spider-Man (which is saying a lot).  

When Elektra needs a hand taking out the cops that Kingpin sent to kill Isabelle so that Emma and Isabelle can escape, Emma calls in Spider-Man since he's swinging through the neighborhood.  It results in one of the issue's best scenes, when Emma reads Peter's mind to see why he does what he does.  "You were just a boy," she remarks, sadly, as she scans his memories.  She then kisses him on the cheek and thanks him for what he does before wiping his memory of their encounter.  Emma escapes with Isabelle, but one of the photographers that Kingpin has observing Emma gets a photo of her doing so.  

In the present, Kingpin uses the photo to accuse Emma of Isabelle's disappearance, which leads Emma to London to ask a now-adult Isabelle to appear in court.   Before Emma can find Isabelle, Union Jack arrests her so the United States can extradite her to stand trial for Isabelle's disappearance.  

Again, this issue is beyond excellent.  It opens with Emma interacting with all sorts of Marvel characters; my favorite vignette is a tie between her impersonating Sue Storm to mortgage the Baxter Building for $200 million and her interrupting a handcuffed Nick Fury during sex to get him to ignore something for Kingpin.  Duggan is definitely not pretending that Emma is a saint.  But, he picks up a theme that we've seen in "Marauders," as Emma helps remove girls and women like Isabelle and Lourdes Chantel from bad situations.

In other words, I'd be worried if I were Kingpin.

Moon Knight #9 (March 2):  Although we learn that Marc is now operating from a bar through pet peeve #1, I'll try to temper my annoyance.  After all, this issue is all about the Midnight Mission's destruction and Marc rebuilding it with his own Krakoa in the form of the House of Shadows.  It's brilliant, honestly.  Along the way, we're treated to Marc figuring out the House's identity as he's lost in its maze.  Given that "Devil's Reign" is still ongoing, McKay manages to deliver a self-contained issue that advances the series' overall plot without spoiling "Devil's Reign" outcome.  It's a high tightrope to walk, and McKay does it perfectly.

X-Men #9 (March 2):  I read somewhere that Abigail Brand was a traitor to the X-Men, but I didn't realize that it meant she was an Orchis Board member.  Jesus.  Given that we also don't know the identities of the "Culture/Narrative" and "Sociology/Modeling" chairs, I'm guessing that she isn't going to wind up being the only surprising Board member.  (Has anyone heard from Val Cooper in a while?)  

But, unless you're a former political-science major like me, the best part of this issue is Destiny and Remy squabbling as Remy and Rogue take out the denizens of a bar on a moon, Oblitus, that replaced Knowhere.  (Yay, Cosmo!)  Destiny quipping, "Hate you" as she mimes strangling Gambit is one of the best scenes I've seen in comics in a while!

Meanwhile, Duggan builds another story here, as we learn Arakko wants someone to find Redroot, the Forest, who apparently wound up trapped in Otherworld.  She seems to have chosen Sunfire as her champion, so that should be fun.  I also just want to note that Storm's new costume - particularly her headdress - is really spectacular.

In other words, Duggan being Duggan, he manages to keep a number of plots of burners without leaving you feeling bored or confused.  It's still a great time to be an X-Men fan!

Also Read:  Devil's Reign:  Spider-Man #1 (March 2)

Three-Month-Old Comics: The Superhero February 2 and 9 (2022) Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #88 (February 2):  Hoo boy.  Beyond's Board members are less than thrilled Maxine lost the drive, so she puts her career on the line by doubling down and getting them to activate the "Halifax Protocol."  

As she later villainsplains to an imprisoned Marcus, Halifax was an oil-company CEO with a super-mansion full of bodies in Broxton, OK.  The police were on the scene investigating his crimes when Thor's fight with the Sentry happened in "Siege."  Maxine notes that no one cared about Halifax anymore.  As such, she reveals that Beyond's product - a question that I've had since the beginning - is chaos.  The Halifax Protocol is Beyond's super-villain division, and Maxine activates it by using Norman Osborn's sins (i.e., the contents of that creepy jar that she's been holding) to turn Dr. Kafka into Queen Goblin.

Meanwhile, Janine goes to MJ for help, and MJ brings her to Glory Grant at the "Daily Bugle."  Tracking Janine, Beyond sends Queen Goblin after them, and Ben arrives just in time to save Janine.  Queen Goblin manages to destroy the drive, but, to Maxine's surprise, Ben announces that it isn't his problem.  He departs with Janine, leaving MJ to face Queen Goblin by herself.  In other words, Ben is losing it.

X Lives of Wolverine #2 (February 2):  This issue at least gives us a better sense of what we're actually doing here.

At some point, Mikhail Rasputin stole the Cerebro Sword, which Magneto made from the Cerebro unit that Professor X was wearing when something (someone?) called XENO attempted to assassinate him.  (I'm assuming it happened in "X-Force.")  As such, Rasputin has some connection to Cerebro and discovered that X-Force tampered with Omega Red's resurrection, installing the surveillance chip and editing his problematic memories.  Rasputin provided that information to Omega Red when he was on a mission in Moscow with Domino and Wolverine, leading him to break into the Hatchery (as we saw last issue) to confirm the information.  

Meanwhile, we learn that Sage created a program to monitor any memory alterations since they could be connected to "timeline terrorism."  As such, she's able to detect Omega Red's attempt to eliminate Xavier and/or his ancestors, hence why Jean sends Logan back into the timestream.   However, Logan is starting to lose it as he comes face to face with his sins, particularly his actions with Team X.  Is Logan going to fuck up everything because he can't help himself?  Maybe.

Amazing Spider-Man #88.BEY (February 9):  OMG, I love this issue.  First, I love Hobie Brown.  I remember when he debuted in "Amazing Spider-Man," and I've always been disappointed that he's been such an underused character.

That said, this incarnation of him is fantastic.  First, I love him in the Hornet costume.  But, the premise is even better.  Hobie tells his wife that the destruction he witnessed during the "King in Black" event made him realize that Damage Control helps corporations but not people.  He talks about how his crowdsourcing platform, Fairplay, is full of people asking for help to rebuild their lives after super-powered events.  He figures that he can match their requests for help and the public's funding with his deep-pocketed superpowered contacts. 

As he's describing it, I'm realizing that it's the opposite of what Maxine describes in "Amazing Spider-Man" #88:  she wants to create chaos, and Hobie wants to end it.  As such, I wasn't surprised at all when Beyond suddenly buys Fairplay.  Hobie is initially furious...until he gets his $15 million parachute.  But, his wife Mindy notes that everyone got a parachute.  In fact, Beyond spent $200 million on a $70 million company.  

Suspicious, Hobie breaks into Beyond to swipe their records.  While there, Dusk sees him and follows him home.  She tells them that Beyond kidnapped Ricochet, and she needs help freeing him.  The files allow Hobie to find him.  While Mindy (who's a great character) goes through the rest of the files, Hobie and Dusk head to the farm where Ricochet is being held.  

But, it turns out Beyond just hired him the previous day to fight some inter-dimensional monsters.  He's only been gone so long due to temporal dilation.  Hobie works with Dusk and Ricochet to shut down the portal allowing the monster to enter our dimension, and Beyond is so impressed with his intelligence and physicality that they offer him a job.

Man, please, please, please let the Slingers get their own series.  This issue is one of the best issues I've read in a while.  The characters all have great charisma together, and I'd love to see Hobie in action with a top-flight creative team.

Devil's Reign #4 (February 9):  It feels like we're moving to our denouement early, so I wonder what else Zdarsky has up his sleeve.  When Kingpin accidentally uses his staff to make Typhoid Mary remember their past together, he realizes that he can use it on himself to remember Daredevil's identity, which he does.  He believes that doing so will end his insane drive for revenge, but, um, based on the expression on his face on the last page, I kind of doubt that we're going in that direction.

Moon Knight #8 (February 9):  This issue is odd.  

Badr is running the Mission since Kingpin locked up Marc, and a former detective, Flint, approaches him for help on a case.  Flint is apparently a long-standing Moon Knight character who works with Marc to solve crimes on the "freak beat."  He informs Badr that another former Moon Knight character, Stained Glass Scarlet, has reappeared, which is odd since she died a few years ago.  

Badr goes to the church where she died and learns that people seeking revenge venerate her.  As such, they her into a minor god.  But, she's no match for Khonshu, who helps Badr chase her from the church.  I'm guessing that McKay is going to return to this story at some point, because we never really learn why Scarlet is now just willy-nilly killing people, when in the past she only killed organized-crime figures (i.e., bad guys).  

I can't say that I disliked the issue, but it leaves a little too much on the table.

New Mutants #24 (February 9):  I haven't been a fan of Ayala's run, but she wraps up a number of threads here in a way that feels organic.  

The New Mutants realize that they haven't helped mutants who've been asking for help.  As such, the Five give No-Girl a new body (she now calls herself Cerebella), and Masque helps Cosmar find a form in which she feels comfortable.  The New Mutants escort Amahl as he leaves for Arakko to undergo therapy and eventually become a more productive member of Krakoan society.   Finally, Dani and Rahne clear the air between them, and I'm going to guess that they're going after Tier soon.  

But, it's Magik's conversation with Rictor that was the most interesting to me.  They discuss something that I've often mentioned during the "Dawn/Reign of X" era, namely the lack of anyone paying attention.  The pair note how the mutants still don't seem to communicate with one another well.  They're not talking about a language but a more basic emotional connection.  Rictor is apparently now a druid, and he and Magik commit to use their magical powers to make those connections possible.  To make matters even more interesting, Magik enlists a resurrected Goblin Queen to help!  (I'm assuming that the Five resurrected Madelyne after successfully lobbying for the Quiet Council to life the ban on resurrecting clones for Gabby.)

A little Google-ing revealed that Rictor and Shatterstar are back together.  As you can see in the below "Also Read" section, I went and read those issues.  In the meantime, I'd love to see them more involved with this series and their friends.

Secret X-Men #1 (February 9):  Howard loses control of the crosses, double-crosses, and triple-crosses in this issue, to the point that I'm not entirely sure what happened.  

I think that Delphos and Oracle - the Imperial Guard's precogs - convinced Xandra to set up a training exercise to test her "friends" from Krakoa.  It's unclear to me if Deathbird was aware that the alleged threat to Xandra wasn't real, but, at any rate, she recruits Roberto to help.  (We're apparently calling him Beto instead of 'Berto now.)  He assembles a team pulled from the mutants who were most disappointed that they weren't chosen for the X-Men.  

Later, it turns out he was under Xandra's influence in putting together this team, as she was impressed that they all commiserated like friends and didn't fight like enemies.  After Roberto and his team make their way through Deathbird's traps to find Xandra, someone kidnaps Deathbird.  The precogs appears to have known that it was going to happen, making it unclear to me why they would've green-lit this exercise given how essential Deathbird is to the Empire and Xandra.

I mean, sure, I enjoy Roberto and Sam action as much as the next guy, but Howard leans into that too much, as if their banter compensates for the lack of a coherent plot.  I hope that we get to see Xandra's "Secret X-Men" in action soon, but I'm not sure that I'd want Howard at the helm.

X Deaths of Wolverine #2 (February 9):  This issue is intense as fuck, but I still have no idea what exactly we're supposed to believe is happening.  

Future Logan is part of the Phalanx, so I guess that it's possible that the machines sent him back in time to kill Moira.  But, why?  Do they know Moira is now capable of dying?  If so, why would they want her dead now, given that it won't reset the timeline now that she's human.  I'm sure that it'll benefit them someway, but I'm not sure how.

In terms of Moira, Jane Foster tells her that she detected "floronic matter" in her cancer, and Moira supposes that the No-Place biome is somehow responsible.  In a truly graphic scene, she goes to a hotel, gets drunk, cuts off her Warlock arm, and cauterizes the wound with an iron (!) since she believes that Mystique is tracking her that way.  (I'm not sure that's true, but it seems like it's how Future Logan is/was.)  Moira at least gets in a lick when Mystique breaks into her hotel room only for a bomb to explode and kill her.

For some reason, Future Logan is now after someone named Arnab Chakladar.  Does he need him to find Moira now that he possibly can't track her?  I guess we'll see.

Also Read:  Excalibur #21 (June 9, 2021); X-Factor #10 (June 30, 2021); Hawkeye:  Kate Bishop #4 (February 9)