Not-Very-New Comics: The August 8 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #3:  This issue makes not a lick of sense.  Don't get me wrong, it's fun.  In fact, it doesn't make sense in part because Spencer is trying to invoke the same sense of fun (and wackiness) that Stan Lee and Steve Ditko did:  Peter and Spider-Man are split into two separate people thanks to yet another accident involving the Isotope Genome Accelerator.  Suddenly, Peter sees the real possibility of living his life without the burden of being Spider-Man.  He won't have to feel guilty that he's not out there as Spider-Man, because Spider-Man will still be out there, fighting terrible evil like the...Tri-Sentinel.  On the downside, Peter discovers Spider-Man got his intellect and his powers, but not his sense of morality and responsibility.  Uh-oh.  Unfortunately, this premise gets a little...wobbly the more you think about it.  For example, the creative team shows Spider-Man only in costume, almost implying if you lifted up his mask his face would be blank.  It's just a little over the top, particularly as Peter doesn't seem anywhere near as worried about it as I think Peter probably would be.  I guess we'll see where Spencer goes from here.

Bloodshot Salvation #12:  I was tempted not to continue reading "Bloodshot" the last time Lemire seemed to give Ray a happy ending, but I’m happy I hung in here.  This issue isn’t perfect, as Lemire seems to be in a rush to hit his marks to get us to the finale.  For example, we never really confirm the identity of his 4002 A.D. doppelgänger or why Baron Samedi wanted the maintenance worker killed.  Moreover, Punk Mambo’s powers seem a little too conveniently strong here, as she essentially shuts down all of Omen’s systems to let Magic and the Bloodshots invade.  But, I’m willing to look past the plot holes because the excellent character beats remain the same.  Lemire never turns Ray into a full-fledged good guy; he murders the maintenance worker because he had to murder him.  Lemire makes it clear that Ray feels some guilt, but he doesn’t regret it, because he did it for his family.  Lemire also reminds us Magic has never been just a scared girl hiding in a hotel room; her childhood left her comfortable with mayhem and murder, making her a match for Bloodshot’s neutral-goodish outlook on life.  Their happiness at the end feels hard won, and it feels like a good time to exit this train with Lemire.  Good luck, Ray.  I’m sure you won’t need it.

Detective Comics #986:  Yup, I’m definitely canceling this series.  I’m not going to stand for Barbara Gordon getting treated like a rank amateur in favor of some C-list hero from Metropolis.  Firstable, she was right to question Jefferson's "plan."  His attempt to keep everyone from the fight likely would’ve resulted in the children dying, because Orphan wouldn’t have been on hand to save them.  Second, I’m also not exactly sure what Jefferson’s powers are.  He controls lightning...and explosions?  Whatever.  Then, Batman announces Black Lightning — a guy he barely knows — speaks for him.  He still can’t let Dick Grayson totally into his circle of trust, but this random guy from Metropolis is basically the new Alfred?  I’ll stay for James Robinson’s arc but then I’m done.

Fantastic Four #1:  Look, Dan Slott and I have been on a long, rough road, and I'm not saying I'm here for the long haul.  But, I've loved what Chip Zdarsky has been doing with "Marvel Two-in-One," so I'm definitely here for as long as it takes to tell the story of Reed and Sue's return.  However, as Skottie Young himself says in the Mr. Impossible short that ends the issue, I'm not quite sure what that timeframe is.  In "Marvel Two-in-One," Ben and Johnny are stranded, powerless, on an alternate Earth.  However, they're back on our Earth here.  Moreover, Victor has apparently lost his pretty face, which I don't think we've seen happen in "Marvel Two-in-One" yet.  It raises questions how Marvel could've timed these releases so poorly, particularly because they seem to have done so intentionally.  To make matters worse, Slott still struggles with conveying emotions here, despite Ben proposing to Alicia and Johnny tearfully accepting Reed and Sue's fate.  I can't exactly put my finger on the problem, but these emotions never feel organic.  It's like a dog trying to explain what they hear to us.  But, it is what it is.  I'm tired of complaining about him and he'd be tired of hearing about it if he knew who I was.  We'll see where we go from here.

Hunt for Wolverine:  Adamantium Agenda #4:  I initially bought this mini-series reluctantly, annoyed with Marvel for using the reunion of the New Avengers as part of its bloated “Hunt for Wolverine” “event.”  But, I can’t say I’m disappointed.  Not only was it great to see the team together again, but Taylor takes us some interesting places here.  First, his character work is excellent.  Tony recalls Wolverine beseeching him to see people before potential after Logan reveals he knew Tony created the superhero suicide-machine.  Logan accepts Tony’s explanation that he’d never use it, but stresses to Tony how its deployment nonetheless proves his point.  As such, Tony caves to Jessica and Peter ordering him to destroy Mister Sinister’s catalogue of the DNA of every living person.  However, he had initially started to decrypt the catalogue, and he learned two things along the way.  First, Laura Kinney isn’t a clone; she’s the actual daughter of Logan and Sarah Kinney.  (I don’t follow X-23 closely enough to get all the implications of that, but I get why it’s important.)  Second, one of the X-Men isn’t a mutant; s/he’s been genetically engineered to appear as one, possibly as a sleeper agent.  Given we don’t know who set loose Tony's suicide machine or invaded Sinister’s catalogue in the first place, Tony seems to be onto something.  This mini-series still doesn't really show us how Logan was resurrected, but that's almost besides the point.  Taylor told a self-contained story that raises some interesting questions for Logan and the X-Men down the line.  I'm not saying it's essential, but it's one of the better examples of the tie-in genre out there.

Oblivion Song #6:  Whoa.  I really didn’t see that one coming.  Kirkman reveals here that Nathan and his team of scientists were the ones who caused the Transference, after a device they built to explore an alternate dimension went haywire.  Nathan explains they built the device because they sensed energy on the other side of the field, but he tells Bridget the field shouldn’t have expanded the way it did.  He initially hypothesized it was because some energy on the other side amplified his device’s power, but he hasn’t seen any technology capable of that on the other side.  To make matters worse, he’s relaying this information in handcuffs, after the feds arrested him for building the device they found in the storage locker.  It's particularly bad timing, too, as he’s convinced his brother Ed to return with him to see what Earth is like.  As such, Ed is functionally stranded on Earth.  Underlining how no one is really having a good go of it, Benjamin appears at Bridget and Duncan’s doorstep when they’re already fighting about Nathan.  Shit’s getting real, folks.

X-Men:  Blue #33:  Yet another time-travel story, yet another unclear situation.  Magneto arrives in the future he's previously hinted he's seen and intuitively knows the devastation he sees there is his fault.  A Nightcrawler-looking child exposits that he assembled a Brotherhood of Mutants — Magic, Toad, Exodus, the Blob, Sabretooth, and someone I think is Unuscione based on her head gear — to stop the "Reaver virus" from destroying the world.  The Avengers and X-Men had been unable to stop the virus because it meant killing the hosts, and Nightcrawler, Jr. tells Magneto that he and the Brotherhood were the only ones willing to do so.  Before we learn more, an Iceman-less team of the original X-Men appears, less than thrilled to see Magneto.  It makes you wonder if Nightcrawler, Jr. isn’t skipping over some parts, since he seems to view Magneto as a hero.  This story ties into “Extermination,” so I wonder where we go from here.

Also Read:  Darth Vader #19; The Wild Storm:  Michael Cray #10

New-ish Comics: The June 13 Everyone-but-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman:  Prelude to the Wedding - Batgirl vs. the Riddler #1:  This issue is a miss, though it's hard to put my finger on why.  First, it feels very color-by-number, as Babs easily solves the Riddler's wedding-themed clues.  But, I think it's mostly because of the Riddler's creepy and unexpected expression of love for Babs.  I get where Seeley is going with it, as other installments of this series have supporting characters reflect on what the wedding means and how it's going to affect their lives.  (For her part, Babs calls Dick at the end.)  The Riddler wonders why he doesn't have a lid for his pot.  He admits he would have to fall for someone like Babs, who's smart enough to answer his riddles.  But, it feels forced.  Given their long histories, you'd think the Riddler would've previously come to this conclusion, whereas Damian and Dick's crises were much more directly tied to the feelings the wedding inspired in them.  At any rate, it's not a terrible issue, just an odd one.

Bloodshot Salvation #10:  Is Ray going to have to kill his son to save his daughter?  ‘Cause that would s-u-c-k.  It’s probably true, though, knowing Ray’s luck.

Oblivion Song #4:  Kirkman is making it pretty clear Nathan has stopped listening when it comes to the various people in his life warning him about his overly rosy view of his crusade.  Bridget confides to him that Duncan just isn’t getting better, after he almost beat her in his sleep the previous night during a nightmare.  Duncan has also refused to attend a survivors' group and gets mad at Bridget whenever she suggests it.  Nathan simply suggests she try harder, a sign of how blithely he seems to take the consequences of his actions.  In his mind, he’ll always be the hero, even if it’s more complicated than that.  Meanwhile, Ed’s team forces Keith to reveal the location where he encountered Nathan, so they’re ready for him when he eventually reappears.  When Nathan does reappear and mentions Ed might be his brother, the group's leader asks if he's Nathan, and he displays a shining grin.  But, Kirkman has hinted Ed might not be as happy to see Nathan as Nathan will be to see him, so we'll see where we go.  In other developments, someone is spying on Nathan as he works in the storage shed that serves as his lab.  Also, the group's leader insists Keith is a pariah for killing his family, refusing to believe his claim something called the “Faceless Ones” did.  In a world of monsters, I’m not sure why they’re so quick to dismiss the monsters Keith describes.  But, I guess we'll see.

The Weatherman #1:  Wow.  That issue was fucking intense and not just because they killed the dog.  RIP, Sadie.  :(

LeHeup does a great job of using media reporting to give us the background we need; it's particularly appropriate since our protagonist Nathan, as the title suggests, is a weatherman on the local news for Redd Bay, Mars.  The year is 2770; seven years earlier, a group called the Sword of God killed everyone on Earth, all eight billion people.  (It’s unclear if all Earth was destroyed or just the people on it.)  We also learn about how telepaths are persecuted on Mars like Marvel’s mutants and “nemo” addiction rates are increasing.  

In the present, a group of space pirates, for lack of a better term, are en route to Mars; someone named the Pearl has hired them to take a prisoner.  One of the pirates, Kade, is worried another of the other pirates, the Marshal, is going to kill the prisoner first over a "debt."  Meanwhile, on Mars, after his hilarious news broadcast, Nathan manages to convince a bartender named Amanda to go on a second date with him.  They stop by the Earth memorial we saw Amanda visiting at the start of the issue with an older woman, and Amanda is rattled when Nathan approaches it so cavalierly.  He apologizes later, and Amanda wonders if they’ll ever get over their collective grief.  He says it would help if they caught the perpetrator, and Amanda asks who he lost in the attack.  He says he lost everyone, but he tries not to think about it; in fact, he hopes his antics help people forget about their own grief, too.  At that moment, someone shoots his beloved dog Sadie in the head, and Amanda is suddenly fighting off the space pirates as she calls for backup.  A hysterical Nathan eventually kills Kade before he can kill Amanda and then clutches Sadie’s body in his grief.  Then, Amanda and her team arrest him for the murder of eight billion people.

In other words:  whoa.  I admit I’m all shaky after reading this issue, since the murder of the dog is pretty graphic and, yes, I care more about the dog than the people.  (People suck.)  But, LeHeup and the creative team somehow completely immerse you in this story from the first moment, and I honestly cannot believe I have to wait a month to see what happens next.

(I edited the texts of my "The Weatherman" reviews in November 2024 as I occasionally called Cross "Amy" instead of Amanda and the Marshal as "Cowboy" or just "Marshal.")

Also Read:  Detective Comics #982; The Wild Storm:  Michael Cray #8

Not-So-New Comics: The November 15 DC, Image, and Valiant Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dark Nights:  The Batman Who Laughs #1:  Not surprisingly, this issue is grim.  The Batman Who Laughs is created when Bruce finally snaps and kills Joker.  He does so after Joker not only dissolves Commissioner Gordon in acid but seems to have his minions lining up families so he can kill the parents in front of their children and Batman.  (This part is inspired in its evilness.)  But, Bruce doesn't go to the dark side just because he killed Joker.  Joker brilliantly has a toxin release the moment he dies, and it slowly but surely rewrites Bruce's brain patters so his moral code is in line with Joker's.  Before he dies, Joker tells Batman it was time for them to evolve together.  You'd think the darkest moment would be when Bruce tricked Barbara, Dick, Jason, and Tim into the Batcave's training room so he could kill them all.  This moment is chilling, and Tynion builds to it well.  Bruce confesses to the four of them the virus has him in its grips, and they think Bruce is telling them he wants them to kill him.  Instead, he reveals he needed them distracted while the virus took full control of him, since they would've noticed the change had they not been distraught.  He then shoots them with automatic weapons.  (Did I mention this issue is grim?)  But, no, the darkest moment is when Bruce infects Clark and Jon with black Kryptonite so they are driven to rip apart Lois.  Yup.  Every terrible device is a perfectly constructed nightmare for each character, showing how well Tynion really understands them.  The only mystery we're left pondering is who the figure wrapped in bandages is; Bruce has been narrating the story to him.  Presumably we'll learn more in "Dark Nights:  Metal."

Justice League #33 ("Bats Out of Hell" #4):  This issue reads like a bad after-school special.  Cyborg and the Justice League spout a never-ending series of clichéd sports metaphors to cover up the fact the plot makes no sense.  We learned in a previous issue that Cyborg’s Mother Box is comprised of “Element X,” apparently the holy grail of all these metals and something the Batman Who Laughs needs to achieve his goals.  (It seems to be distinct from Nth metal, but I'm not entirely sure.)  The Mother Box itself asks Victor to surrender to it completely so it can take out the Dark Knights, but Victor refuses, deciding to hold onto his humanity.  He does so partly because Raven encourages him to do so telepathically, but I honestly have no idea when she appeared on the board.  Is she even a character in the DCnU?  No idea.  The script here is so cheesy you actually find yourself wishing he’d have surrendered.  I’d rather endless “pings.”  At any rate, this new Victor (“Cyborg One Million, baby!”) is apparently connected to the Multiverse and he now can do anything, like free the Justice League.  They then free Dr. Fate, Deathstroke, and Mister Terrific, who were apparently also captured when the Justice League was in "Flash" #33 (though I don’t think that was made clear at the time).  Everyone then makes a tactical retreat, and the original teams resume their missions to collect the Nth metal while Victor takes Flash and Raven on a “Hail Mary” pass mission.  In other words, we end exactly where we started this mini-series, except for Victor being free.  This issue is really the only miss in “Dark Nights:  Metal” so far, but, man, it is seriously a miss.

Batman #35:  If there's a moment that encapsulates Batman's relationship with Talia, it's her crawling to him to tell him she like Catwoman after Catwoman stabbed her in the back with a sword.  Catwoman and Talia may fight over Batman in this issue, but it's not by any stretch of the imagination a stereotypical catfight.  They might be using swords, but they're actually having a conversation.  Talia tells Catwoman the story of how harsh her father was in raising her, giving her a sword the day she took her first steps, and Catwoman tells Talia she never met her father, so no one ever gave her anything.  Talia tells Catwoman Bruce is her (Talia's) only equal, and Catwoman laughs at the pedestal on which Talia has placed Bruce.  She shows her unique insight into him by telling Talia he is broken and cracked.  Moreover, he's obsessed with a childish vow he'll put above all other vows, including the one he eventually makes to her.  But, she loves him, so she's stuck with that.  Talia really legitimately accepts that.  King and Jones really make that clear.  Talia realizes she not only doesn't see him the same way Selina does but also that Selina probably sees him more clearly.  She basically gives them her blessing.  Selina manages to defeat her and makes her way to Holly, asking her (and not demanding from her) that she return to Gotham and confess that she murdered 237 people so Selina can be happy.  Meanwhile, Dick and Damian sit vigil outside Khadym, and Dick correctly posits that Bruce wants to be happy, but that requires asking something of someone and it's hard for him to do that.  By the time Bruce and Selina meet the boys outside Khadym, the Batfamily really feels like a family.  Jason and Tim aren't Dick and Damian.  Bruce's sons are essentially picking up their father and step-mother from the airport after their honeymoon and, man, am excited.

Bloodshot Salvation #3:  Lemire has always been a guy with a plan, and he proves that again here.  Project Omen comes online and deactivates all operating nanites just as Bloodshot is ready to kill Daddy; he suddenly becomes human again, and Daddy sees it as divine intervention.  However, we know this “turn-off” period doesn’t last, since Soviet Man and Viet Man save Magic and her daughter from Rampage in the present.  They then take her to a woman named Punk Mambo who connects her with Ray’s consciousness.  It turns out he’s not dead, as everyone thought:  he’s stuck in 4002.  It's obviously unclear how he goes from seemingly getting beaten to death on Daddy's farm to physically transported to 4002, but I’m sure Lemire will get there.  In the meantime, he’s keeping us guessing as he always does.  I shook my head as Daddy proclaimed God had saved him from Bloodshot and set his followers on him, a brilliantly timed moment Lemire has clearly been planning from the start.  Jeff Lemire, everyone.

The Realm #3:  Jesus, every time you think this issue can’t get darker, it does.  First, the most interesting part of the story is our various groups all seem to be converging on the same spot.  The teenager from last issue, Eli, leads the group to safety on the surface, and Will and Molly debate whether they can trust him as they search the area for “locals.”  At camp, David plays with some glowing rocks, which seems to imply he has some magical powers.  Meanwhile, the bearded warrior from the last two issues attacks the goblins who survived chasing the party underground.  (The creature that appeared at the end of last issue attacked them just as they were close to catching Will and company.)  Will and Molly find the kid who awoke in the ring of fire last issue, and we learn he’s been on his own for weeks.  He’s then hit full in the chest with a spear.  It looks grim, but the cover for next issue shows him stitching up his own chest so...maybe it's not.  The only group that doesn’t seem to be converging on this spot is the team of orcs Eldritch “helps” in their fight against an unknown enemy.  The lead orc, Redjaw, dismisses his assistance (he threw some spells from his dragon) and later complains to his human lover that Eldritch has found favor with their master.  Based on these comments and the goblins’ chatter at camp before the bearded guy attacks, it’s clear the mystical forces that came to Earth follow not only the same master but also the same religious beliefs.  At any rate, the authors seem to be building to a major conflict as everyone makes first contact.  It's early for them to kill off everyone, so we'll see how that goes.

The Wild Storm #9:  We continue to get more information about Marlowe's home world in this issue.  We learn it was hierarchical:  the more syllables in your name, the less important you were.  John had eight syllables with a “u” sound in the middle, meaning he was an individual of no particular value; Kenesha had three syllables in her name, making her an exalted servant of the ruling class; and someone called “Emp” (“one syllable, ruling class”) was the head of their expedition.  At some point in long-ago Japan, John had to kill a bunch of samurai to retrieve an important artifact, “the old technology” Emp apparently kept under his bed.  (Said item appears on one of the work benches in the shop Marlowe prepared for Angie.)  Meanwhile, at IO, Ivana makes Miles aware Jackie’s “air gapped red team with event shielding” exercise is happening, and, under questioning from Miles, Jackie confesses she’s securely trying to see if she can extract data from Skywatch station.  Miles warns her not to do anything without his authorization.  They also discuss something called Project Thunderbook, a “Directors Eyes Only” exercise the previous director, John Lynch, ran that was so secretive a dozen people killed themselves the week after he quit and three buildings mysteriously caught fire.  Even Miles doesn’t know what it was, but Jackie informs him Cash was part of it.  Also, Jackie’s assistant Mitch previously made Jackie aware John (but known to them as third-party contractor “Wilson Flowers”) escaped Hightower.  Mitch isn’t too bright, because he uses all sorts of location-tracking software despite Jackie telling him not to do so.  It probably means Zealot is going to kidnap him next issue after Skywatch ordered her to keep a closer eye on IO.  As I frequently say about this series, curiouser and curiouser.

Also Read:  Nightwing #33