Almost Two-Year-Old Comics: The Top-Shelf August 5, 12, 19, and 26 (2020) Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars #5 (August 5):  I don't have too much to say about this issue other than the fact that Soule reminds us just how little Luke actually knows about the Force.  He tracks down Verla, the woman in his vision, and she's the one to tell him about Order 66.  It really adds fuel to the fire when it comes to Obi-Wan and Yoda leaving Luke totally unprepared for his path as Jedi as a result of their commitment to secrets and lies. 

Undiscovered Country #7 (August 5):  Snyder and Soule pull back the curtain on the events shortly after the Sealing but, in typical fashion, we wind up facing more questions than answers.

First, we learn that the United States split itself into 13 sovereign zones.  Every American could chose in which zone s/he wanted to live.  If you wanted little to no gun laws, regulation, or taxation, you moved to Zone Destiny.  If you wanted the opposite scheme, you moved to Zone Unity.  At the state of his meeting with the heads of the 13 zones, the president informs the group that 74 percent of Americans approve of this "enhanced sovereignty."

However, Sam Elgin and his fellow Aurora members - including the Drs. Graves - rain on this parade.  Sam opens a box to show a purple amphibian, the type of creature - though tamer - that we saw in Destiny.  Elgin informs the group that nearly 20 percent of the bioengineering happening in Destiny is outside Aurora's advice.  Representative Wyath - presumably the man we'll see become the Destiny Man - argues that they can pursue any strain they want to pursue as long as they meet their quota.  This comment establishes that Aurora was approving at least some bioengineering, though we don't yet know for what purpose.  

The president interrupts the argument, noting that Aurora was the one that shot the bullet that killed federalism.  Elgin agrees but seems now to realize that Aurora was too optimistic in the assumption that the 13 zones would work together as a single "equation."  He notes Zone Bounty is tasked with manning the nuclear pillars, but Aurora suspects it's siphoning off energy.  The president suggests they make a full report in six months at the next meeting after the "cyclotronic generators" are operational.  Elgin dissents, noting that, if the cyclotrons are abused in the same way as everything else, it could be catastrophic.  

In other words, it's pretty clear now that we're dealing with a story about hubris.  Aurora clearly thought that it could keep control over the project, but it got too unwieldy too quickly, which is particularly dangerous given the project itself is messing with nature and time (again, to unknown purposes).   In the back pages, we learn that, in the initial days after the Sealing, chaos erupts in America as most Americans were unaware of the government's plans.  Even if the president's later claim of high approval rates for the Sealing is true, it's clear that it takes a while to get everyone (or most everyone) on board.  

In another flashback, Elgin talks about the initial dream, and it's clear that it isn't anything like the nightmare that the United States has become.  How we got here is obviously going to be the most fascinating part of this story.  It also is clear that it isn't just hubris on Aurora's part.  Snyder and Soule are picking up a thread straight from current American politics, the whispered idea that we should just divide up the country.  Snyder and Soule seem clearly set on showing us how that's going to look.

In the present, the team enters Unity, encountering a bleached-white landscape of trees with blue and red lines running around them.  Tentacles attack the train, and the team barely escapes before it pulls the train down into the soil.  Daniel starts to get the team going just as a cyborg emerges from the trees' shadows.  It turns out it isn't a cyborg, though:  "it" removes its mask and it's Dr. Elgin asking the team to save America.

Just like Gillen did in this month's issue of "Die," Snyder and Soule get going in earnest on this new arc after a lackluster previous issue.  Janet and Chang are now actively seeking an exit once they get a chance, and Charlotte and Valentina commit to riding the figurative train to its final destination as they're tired of the half-measures they've been taking over the last few years.  At this point, it makes sense that people are starting to make decisions and take sides.  How much more information do you need at this point?

Dungeons & Dragons:  Infernal Tides #5 (August 12):  Despite my doubts, Zub manages to wrap up all the loose ends here.

Nerys joins the Bloodrovers as they enter the infernal war machines, which serves both their purposes:  she gets to undo the chains, and they get the soul coins.  An amnesiac Minsc lassos some sort of winged Nine Hells monster, and he and Nerys ride it to Elturel.  Krydle's attempt to use the talisman from last issue to free Elturel fails:  although he successfully uses it to get control over "Thavius Kreeg, High Overseer of Elturel" (who's actually Kreegor the Betrayer, a Zariel-worshipping devil in disguise), it turns out the contract is written on infernal parchment so only Zariel can destroy it.

When Zariel arrives, Krydle successfully goads her into attacking him and manages to get the parchment in front of her attack, destroying the pact.  Aubree reminds an enraged Zariel that she was once "the Companion of Light," and the pain of the memory drives away Zariel.  Elturel returns to its place on the Prime Material Plane, Aubree becomes a paladin of Torm and knight of the Hellriders, and Minsc seems to be regaining his memory.   But, the issue ends with Krydle contemplating the infernal script on his forearm, so we'll see where the story goes.

All in all, this series was my least favorite of the Baldur's Gate heroes' adventures.  Given how high concept it was, we needed at least another issue dedicated to the actual conflict with Zariel, either by adding an issue or scaling back the time the heroes spent looking for answers in the initial few issues.  With the team returning to Baldur's Gate, I'm hoping we get a more normal set of adventures so we can focus a little more on the characters themselves and how these last few weeks have affected them.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #4 (August 19):  Sacks reveals that the scene that shocked Lash at the start of this series and goaded her into killing the Mourner's Wail heir is, in fact, a shocking one:  he was trying to murder his pregnant lover, the Unbroken Clan heir.  She tells Lash that they intended to escape together since their families wouldn't accept their child, but her boyfriend balked at losing everything for his girlfriend and unborn child.  Later, we learn that Lash has raised the child and sent a message to Valance because she needs someone to make sure the child reaches adulthood since, if she does, she'll end the two syndicates' war.  (Lash is dying of a disease, explaining why she left hiding now.)  T'ongor's sister accepts Lash's reasoning and pledges to return to her wife...before Boba Fett kills her.

The Last God #8 (August 26):  Holy shit, this issue is fucking intense.  Kennedy Johnson is really stepping on the gas as we approach the end of this first volume.  It reminds me of the first two issues, where every time you turned the page something insane happened.  You can tell Kennedy Johnson has been building to this moment throughout the series, keeping the Dwarrows a mystery so that they're all the more terrifying when we encounter them.  It's notable that both fellowship encounter them in this issue as they each prepare to climb the Black Stair.

In the past, the fellowship makes its way through a desolate mountain only to encounter a man frantically running in their direction.  (Kennedy Johnson doesn't tell us what a man is doing in this area, so I wonder if we'll return to him.). He's killed by a flying hammer and the fellowship comes face-to-face with Dwarrows.  It's the first time we meet them:  they're not exactly dwarves, as I though they'd be.  They're more like short ice giants, if you will.  Speaking their language, Skol tries to ask them where the Black Stair is, but the pack's leader orders his fellows to attack.  The fellowship makes short work of them, and the Dwarrows stop short when Skol uses magic, "like the Djorruk do."  The leader informs them that they can't cross the Karkarok Mountains above-ground and agrees to lead them into the Abyssal Realm.

In the present, Cyanthe warns her companions that the Dwarrows are murderers and rapists.  Valko notes that Jorunn was one of the fellowship, but Cyanthe denies that, saying they only said he was to secure loyalty from the Abyssal Realm.  (In an example of pet peeve #2, we're first told about Jorunn on the introduction page.)  Although he climbed the Stair with them, he was more into glory-hounding.  With a final warning, the team enters the Abyssal Realm.

Returning to the past, the fellowship encounters a spectacular city, with a lava-filled, living tree-creature at its center; even Veikko is impressed.  Skol informs her that Mol Kalakto built the place.  She asks the pack's leader what the tree is, and he informs her that it's the demon Norduuk, who the God of the Forge chained.  When she breaks free, the surface land will fall into the Abyssal Realm, the surface waters will quench the Godforge's fire, and Norduuk will rule the darkness.  As they make their way through the Realm, Cyanthe encounters diminutive rock creatures with glowing eyes, one of whom begs her to save them.  She's terrified when the Dwarrows capture them, but Skol wars her to keep quiet, since they need the Dwarrows' help to get through the labyrinthine Abyssal Realm.  

The pack's leader -- who we now learn is Jorunn - brings them to the king, his father.  The king agrees to help the fellowship by giving them Jorunn as a guide if they give them magic and the "fair-haired girl."  Skol notes that's a non-starter, since Grey would eat them all, but gives them two gifts:  the culling sieve, which will allow them to consume a creature's soul and life energy including magic if the creature has some; and a blade that Ruarc created that the wielder's own life fuels to kill his enemies.  Later, at Cyanthe's urging, Skol asks Jorunn about the creatures.  He informs them that they're the Djorruk:  living statues whose magical-crafting gifts the Dwarrows want.  Cyanthe loses her shit at this point, noting that they saved people form the Flowering Dead, but they're abandoning the Djorruk who asked for help.  Tyr tries to calm her down, but, when he calls her "love," she tells him not to call her that and not to touch her.  She pulls a knife on the team, telling them that they're no heroes, they're just "dancing to the songs people sing" about them.

In the present, the Abyssal Realm is dark and grey.  In the ruins, Evindyr finds Ruarc's (now not-glowing) knife and, against Valko's wishes, keeps it.  Cyanthe assumes the Flowering Dead have killed the Dwarrows, but she stumbles upon a partially broken Djorruk.  It turns out he's the statue she first met.  His name is Kolba and asks that they leave the Djorruk alone.  When Cyanthe asks if the Dead destroyed the Abyssal Realm, he tells her that she did.  The Dwarrows used the knife to enslave and kill the Djorruk ("as you knew they would," he adds).  But, wanting more power, they tried the knife on Norduuk, changing them.  The team is then attacked by a lava monster who's apparently Jorunn, underlining Kolba's point.

In other words, the title of this issue should be, "As if things couldn't get more depressing..."  Kennedy Johnson is making it clear why Cyanthe is so bitter as he shows us the weight that she's been carrying with her all these years. 

Also Read:  Star Wars:  Darth Vader #4 (August 12); Transformers '84:  Secrets and Lies #2 (August 19)

Almost Two-Year-Old Comics: The Top-Shelf July 8, 15, and 22 (2020) Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dungeons & Dragons:  Infernal Tides #4 (July 8):  Unfortunately, this issue is just as confusing as last issue.  The devils who were initially going to make Krydle surrender his soul in exchange for sparing Shandie's life are replaced by a different devil who makes Krydle surrender his soul in exchange for saving Elturel.  This devil works for a devil named Bel whose goal is regaining dominion over Avernus from Zariel.  Bel's plan, such as it is, is to embarrass Zariel by using Krydle to ruin her plans to bring Eltural into Avernus and...at some point maybe defeat her in a few millennia?  It's unclear.  Meanwhile, Minsc and Nerys engage the Bloodrovers but wind up falling into the River Styx, which robs Minsc of his memory.  I have no idea how Krydle is going to save Elturel in one issue.  I'm guessing that it's just going to end in a lot of hand-waving magic.  [Sigh.]

Transformers '84:  Secrets and Lies #1 (July 15):  Furman's main challenge here - as he acknowledges in his notes at the issue's end - is trying to integrate all the various G1 continuities into a coherent narrative.  In this series, he seems focused on unifying the stories told in the UK and U.S. versions of the "Transformers" comic and then unifying those stories with the ones told in the original TV series.  Unsurprisingly, this effort occasionally trips up the narrative, as you have moments where you're like, 'Wait, the 'Dynobots' were on Cybertron right before the Ark launched?  How did that work?"  In his notes, Furman promises that he's getting there, which makes it a little easier to wade through the seeming discrepancies.  But, it makes this issue feel more like an academic exercise in establishing a clear timeline than a fun comic to read.  With some of those issues now addressed, I'm hoping the series picks up next issue.  (Also, I need to mention pet peeve #1 as at no point does Starscream punch Megatron.)

Die #12 (July 22):  I hoped Gillen would right the ship here, and I'm happy to say that he does.  Both teams now have a clearer sense of the threats that they're facing and at least rudimentary plans on how to address them.

Gillen addresses last issue's cliffhanger right off the bat, confirming that Molly is Angela's daughter from the "real" world.  But, she's older than the Molly Angela left, sending Angela into a panic that time is passing more quickly in Die than in the real world.  Molly is somehow also Fallen, so Angela tries to sacrifice herself to return Molly to life.  Matt stops her, noting that they need an actual plan.

In Angria, Ash, Izzie, and Zamorna learn that Little England not only knows that the companions destroyed Glass Town but also that Angria is run via the Dictators, something I guess Angria didn't realize that Little England knew.  Little England's ambassador refuses to make a deal with Angria so long as Ash is on the throne given her role in altering the Great Game (i.e., the truce between Little England and Eternal Prussia so long as Glass Town stood) due to Glass Town's destruction.  Ash assumes that they learned everything through spies but fears that Zamorna somehow got around the Voice to leak the information.  It appears that Little England is composed of three parts:  the norther part is "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardorbe" and the central...or middle...part is "Lord of the Rings."  Ash, Izzie, and Zamorna realize that they'll face the realm's southern part, which Zamorna says has a "touch of the future" in it.  (This part makes sense later.)  

At this point, Izzie has paid off almost all her debts to the gods thanks to ruling Angria, which gives her the power to make their wishes reality.  She's still in debt to Mistress Woe, however, who's clearly waiting to call in the debt at the most inconvenient time.  Although Izzie might have largely achieved the goal that she articulated for herself last issue, Ash gets farther from it when Augustus announces that he's going to the front lines.  He realizes that he's his mother's only stake in the world, so he needs to up the ante to stop the war.

Returning to Angela, Chuck, and Matt, they are now trying to sort out the time weirdness.  Matt notes that Brontë's story from a few issues ago about the 12 pretty toy soldiers had time weirdness.  Hearing about the soldiers, Dour informs them that Sol carved 12 toy soldiers from the Dreaming Lands' 12 greatest oaks and painted them red with the high priests' blood.  Matt realizes that means Sol gave the wooden soldiers to the Brontës, confirming that time is totally fucked.  (Matt had previously been focused on the fact that the Fallen existed in Die before the companions arrived despite them allegedly being the first ones there.)  They all decide that Molly is actually safest as a Fallen since no one can hurt her and decide to see the Fair, who Angela hopes can stop Die from happening and possibly heal Chuck.  The problem is that the nearest Fair are in the Grandmaster's Realm.  As Angela says, "let's go to fucking Mordor."

As the war gets going in Angria, the False Friend confirms for Izzy that the Little Englanders actually aren't spying.  With no traitors to find, the triumvirate is adrift.  Zamorna warns Ash to take action soon, because everyone knows that she's the reason that the war is ongoing.  It makes Ash realize that the reason that it's "impossible" for peace to happen because she's on the throne is because it's against the Little England's rules.  Remembering Brontë told her that some Masters are more involved than others, Ash asks to meet Little England's Master, who we learn is H.G. Wells.  Dun-dun-DUN!  I'll admit that I thought Tolkien was Little England's Master, so I'm intrigued to see where we go here.

The Last God #7 (July 22):  As with everything in this series, this issue could've been titled, "Secrets and Lies!  Secrets and Lies!"

Kennedy Johnson allows Cyanthe to drop her defenses in this issue.  It's a welcome development, not only because it begins to answer some of the remaining questions at the heart of this story - namely, the mystery surrounding Haakon - but also because we spent so much of this series so far with such unlikable characters.  With Skol and Veikko dead, Cyanthe is alone burdened by her past, and she begins to shed some of that burden here at the urging of her younger companions.

Most importantly, she tells us about Haakon.  We learn that the fellowship rose to fame because Haakon not only joined the party but also enchanted its weapons with Fey magic.  (Upon learning that the same god birthed the Fey and Mol Uhltep at the Pinnacle, Skol surmised that the Fey's magic could destroy the Flowering Dead.)  Cyanthe talks about that period warmly, recalling the fellowship having adventures and giving the people hope, becoming their champions.  Evyndir asks what changed, and Cyanthe simply answers, "We found the House of Ruarc."

In the past, we learn that the Fey have led the companions to the House of Ruarc, a foreboding "house" set in an enormous thorn-covered tree.  As Flowering Dead attack the team, we see how different the party is now, with each fellowship member's weapon glowing a unique color signifying its Fey magic.  After defeating the Dead, Veikko notes the Dead seemed different.  Haakon and Skol recognize one of the corpses as carrying armor with Ruarc's crest.  Haakon isn't surprised that the Dead lead back to a "soulless man," though Skol is thrilled at the prospect of learning more about one of the architects of the Guild Eldritch, the man who discovered how men could wield magic like the Aelves.  Skol informs us the Guild still can't replicate some of his devices, and she discovers two such devices that seem to seal the fate to which present-day Cyanthe alluded:  a Soul Ember, which allows the user to speak to the dead, and the Bloodglass, which shows one's future.  Haakon urges Skol not to touch the Bloodglass, warning that he's previously seen the device and the price of its use is too high.  

Reading Ruarc's journal, Veikko discovers that the Black Stair is near a cave civilization and a living dragon that the Dwarrows worshipped.  Skol exults at the prospect of becoming legends, and Haakon reminds her that the goal when they approached him for help was to learn the source of the Flowering Dead.  Haakon tries to convince everyone to camp outside with him, but they refuse.  Later that night, a drunk Tyr is making an ass of himself.  He makes it clear that he lusts after Veikko and pledges to free the Aelves when he overthrows the "dickless weakling" King Engfurth and becomes king of Olvargolad.  Veikko goes to relieve herself and Tyr follows after rebuffing Cyanthe's advances.  Veikko attacks Tyr when he offers himself to her, all as Cyanthe tearfully watches.  He returns to have sex with Cyanthe as Skol asks the Bloodglass what happens at the Black Stair, showing an insecurity about the future that we haven't previously seen.

In the present, the team walks through Haegerte, the village of Dwarrow who worshipped the dragon, whose remains the party passed on the way to the village.  As Evyndir asks for Cyanthe to continue her story about the House of Ruarc, she walks through the decimated village, tearfully recalling a little girl who made them all laugh.  Evyndir, showing similar growth as Cyanthe, promises to her that they're not her companions, that they're not who her companions became in the House of Ruarc.  Encouraged by Evyndir's promise that they won't betray her, she finally names the ursulon that's been following them since the Pinnacle "Shadow."  In the past, Cyanthe rises as everyone else sleeps and uses the Soul Ember to contact her father.

To make the connections clearer, Kennedy Johnson uses the supplemental material at the end of the book to underline Ruarc's role in the Flowering Dead's creation.  A Pinnacle acolyte requests access to Grandmaster Romm's material after realizing that a children's rhyme implies Ruarc's role.  It talks about how Romm's men killed Ruarc only for his body to sprout the Flowering Dead and kill them.  Ruard had been the hero of the Riverman's Southern conquest but, after Alevan captivity, murdered his king and disappeared into the Riverlands.  The acolyte notes rumors that the Guild's earliest research came directly from Ruarc's teachings.  In the diary of one of the soldiers the murdered Riverman king's son sent to find Ruarc, we learn that Ruarc was the one to discover he could feed magic the flesh of the races who naturally wield magic.  Yeah, it's grim.

Also Read:  Star Wars:  Darth Vader #3 (July 29)

Almost Two-Year-Old Comics: The Top-Shelf May 20 (2020) Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dungeons & Dragons:  Infernal Tides #3 (May 20):  It seems weird that we're only getting to the "tides" part of a series called "Infernal Tides" in the third issue when it sounds like this series is supposed to end with the next issue.  But hopefully Zub will give enough infernal piracy to compensate!  

As we saw at the end of last issue, the gang arrives in Elturel in time for an infernal invasion.  I use "infernal" instead of "demonic" or "devilish" because, well, it's...complicated.  I'm pretty deep in DnD, and even I admit that I got lost in the hairsplitting that is chaotic demons fighting lawful devils in the eternal Blood War.  Zariel's devilish troops are dragging Elturel into the Nine Hells for reasons that aren't particularly clear to me but, you know, devils.  

The first stop on the Nine Hells tour is Avernus, the Hells' upper tier and the Blood War's primary battle ground (since it's where the River Styx dumps the demons coming from the Abyss).  As far as I can tell, we don't see any demons here, though the devils are giving the gang enough trouble.  A group called the Bloodrovers plan to steal the soul coins that are powering the war machines that Zariel's troops are using to pull Elturel down into Avernus.  (Again, I'm surprised this crowd didn't appear earlier given the mini-series title.)  

In Elturel, the Hell Knight Haruman leads the charge, and we're reminded (told?) that he's the devil who kidnapped (or maybe murdered?) Aubree's father.  I have no real memory of that, but that's probably my fault for allowing so much time to elapse between reading the first issue and the last two issues.  At any rate, a gleeful Minsc engages him, but they wind up tumbling into Avernus with Nerys who tried to help.  Meanwhile, Shandie's instance on following a voice calling for help results in her getting trapped by a group of...demons, I want to say...who demand Kyrdle's soul in exchange for her freedom.

As you can probably tell, I had to re-read this issue a few times to track what the plot, and even then I found it relying almost a little too much on DnD lore, like soul coins and which infernal realms belongs to which devils, etc.  I hope, to quote Minsc, we return to more straight-forward butt-kicking next issue.