Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The April 17 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #12:  Happily, Johnson ends on a high note here as we get to see Ash and Niander Wallace, Jr. circle each other like prize fighters.  Like any good fight, it ends in a draw, the future uncertain.

Starting right where we left off last issue, Wallace, Jr. again promises to heal Ash.  His price?  Isobel.  He calls in a good squad of five Replicants I vaguely recognize, and Ash tells him that she has bullets for everyone.  Wallace, Jr. promises not to hurt Isobel, and Ash tells him, in a very Ash-like way, that Isobel's life isn't Ash's to barter.  Wallace, Jr. then orders his minions to take out Ash and tells a still hogtied Luv that he'll return for her.

Outside, Wallace, Jr. enters his spinner to find another goon unconscious or dead and Ash in the driver's seat.  Ash confirms the "Ash" inside is Rash, and Wallace, Jr. ponders the fact that he hasn't, in fact, perfected the obedience protocol.  As Ash and Wallace, Jr. head "home," Rash takes out the goons and then stares at Luv, repeating her statement that she has enough bullets.  It's the last time we see Luv, and it isn't clear if Rash frees or kills her.

Ash lands at a destroyed apartment and informs Wallace, Jr. that it's the private sanctum of Dr. Eldon Tyrell, where he was murdered.  Wallace, Jr. repeats his offer, telling Ash she'll die within a year if she doesn't accept his help.  Ash tells him that her conditions for keeping him alive are to leave Cleo and Isobel alone and stop making Replicant Blade Runners.  As he finds a piece of origami, Wallace, Jr. simply says, "Checkmate."  

But he asks Ash what'll keep him to his promise after she dies, and she tells him that he'll be too busy.  She hands him Selwyn's research, which obviates his need for Isobel.  Wallace, Jr. is stunned, and Ash says she wants him to make so many Replicants who'll then make Replicants that they eventually outnumber the humans.  Wallace, Jr. asserts that he'll control them and, recalling Rash, Ash notes that he's too arrogant.

Later, Ash sends Cleo and Isobel on their way, this time with Rash, who'll protect them.  Sitting on a rooftop ledge, Freysa is furious that Ash gave Wallace, Jr. "the future."  Ash tells her that she'd do it again and is just glad she gets to spend that future with Freysa.  Yay!  I was worried these two weren't going to make it.

In her narration that ends the series, Ash says that she doesn't really know if she'll die within a year or "ten more" (an important number, obviously, since it'd bring us to 2049), but she's grateful for whatever time she gets.  I was just grateful to spend this time with Ash.  It's been a spectacular series of series from start to finish, and I can't wait to see where Johnson goes with this world.

Cobra Commander #4:  First things first, part of this series' charm is Milana's art, which perfectly matches Williamson's script in its mysteries and shadows.

The issue begins with a terrified Dreadnok opening a cap to an underground bunker for CC who makes his way through the tunnel as a voice tells him that he's working as fast as he can and begs him not to hurt him.  CC discovers the Dreadnoks were keeping a crazy scientist locked in the tunnel.

Zander, Zarana, and Buzzer are hiding from Protector, and Zander proposes they use "the Juice" against him, given its explosive nature.  Shoving Buzzer into Protector's path, Zandar beelines for the Dreadnoks' base as Zarana searches for any still-living Dreadnok, calling after Zandar that they can't leave behind their family.  Zander's plan works long enough for him to get an airboat, and Zarana manages to get Buzzer and Torch on it as they escape.

In the laboratory, the scientist tells CC the Dreadnoks harvested Energon in its raw form and he found a way to covert it into energy.  CC observes the scientist has more Energon than the swamps could provide, and the scientist says he learned to use other forms of radiation to expand it (though he admitted he can't duplicate it).  CC puts four spider-bots drones on a lab table, and the scientist uses Energon to charge them.

CC heads topside where he encounters Protector, whom he finally calls by his name, Nemesis.  CC orders the guy who opened the cap for him to give him the name of all the Dreadnok's buyers.  He then tells Nemesis that it's time to leave, but Nemesis turns on him now that the mission is complete.  CC is outraged Golobulus betrayed him, though I'm not entirely sure Nemesis isn't acting on his own.  

But CC is no slouch and attacks Nemesis with a chainsaw.  Nemesis tries to rip off CC's mask, shrugging off the electrical charge that accompanies the attempt.  Nemesis flies CC into the air and drops him.  Surviving the fall, CC insults Nemesis for thinking CC didn't see this betrayal coming and has his spider-bots form an Iron Man-esque glove.  He then inserts a container of Energon into it and blasts Nemesis in half.

In the swamp, the Dreadnok from the cap is still running, but CC finds him.  The Dreadnok tells him his face looks like puke, and CC forces him to confess they only had one buyer:  Destro.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Kill Your Darlings #8:  This issue probably should've been two issues or an even longer extended issue, as Parker and Sheridan are forced to rush through some sequences given how much ground they cover here.  For example, I would've liked for Quinn to have more space to show the final confrontation between the Witch's minions and the Rosewoodians, which mostly gets crammed into a single page with too many panels.  All that said, it's still a satisfying ending to a great saga.

In a distant land, Wallace tells President Mayor Starlight that he and the Rosewoodians are going to set sail the next morning as the Great Evil is on their trail.  Wallace thanks Starlight for keeping them safe as well as harboring...something all these years.

On a nearby beach, Rose is trying to use the Witch's spell book to cast spells, to no avail.  Elliott tries to comfort a frustrated Rose, but she rants that she needs to learn these spells so she can send Elliott home.  Elliott tells her that he isn't going "home."  When Rose starts talking about his family, he tells her that he's been watching his family wither slowly in front of him his entire life.  He couldn't help his mom as she slid into dementia or his dad as he slid into alcoholism.  But he can save the other person he loves:  Rose.  He tells Rose that if he returns to Earth to water his mother's garden, it'll be with Rose.  Rose impulsively kisses him and then they sit together in an awkward if companionable silence.

Interrupting the moment (welcomely), Wallace arrives with a shattering crystal, which Rose recognizes as the Silver Flame of Kichendror (the item Starlight kept hidden).  The crystal starts to crack, and we see an eye peek at us through the opening.

We then fast-forward eight years.  The Witch is sitting on a throne surrounded by the ghosts of her fellow witches that she couldn't save.  We watch as a desiccated Evil bursts into the throne room to tell the Witch that Rose is coming.  Rose enters, and the Witch tells her that she shouldn't have come by herself.  Rose responds, in a wonderful moment that shows how much she's grown, "Oh, Eleanor, when have I ever been alone?"

On cue, outside, Wallace and the Rosewoodians attack the Witch's minions, who are the captured Rosewoodians that the Witch has changed to look like villagers (as she did last issue with he "parents").  Wallace hits one of them with an arrow that has a glowing purple potion at its tip, and the potion turns the villager back into its Rosewoodian self.  In the castle, the Witch gives her waning power to Evil, who grows several stories tall, exploding from the castle.  The Witch gloats, recalling Rose's fear when she first confronted Evil in that cave.  But her gloating doesn't last, as a bright eagle-like creature (i.e., the Silver Flame of Kichendror), with a bearded and sexy AF Elliott riding her, attacks Evil.

The Witch then attacks Rose, who bring out Francine MK 2.  We see all the battles taking place, in the aforementioned busy panel, as the Rosewoodians deliver more potions.  The Witch traps Rose in vines, but Rose reminds her she read her book and returns the favor.  Encasing the Witch in a cage made of vines, Rose tells her it ends her way, with no more bloodshed.  

Rose recalls that her mother told her that you have to make friends with your monsters and ponders whether they're all not monsters.  She undoes the vine cage and tells the Witch that she's sorry for what her mother did and the pain she left behind her.  Rose tells the Witch she always wanted to hate her mother, but she just found herself missing her instead.  She confesses she wants to hate the witch, too, but she read her book and knows how much pain she's suffered.  She tells the Witch she probably imagines there isn't much human left inside her, and the Witch expresses shock that Rose is willing to free her after all she's done.  Rose tells the Witch that she can't forgive her all her sins, but she can forgive what she's done to her.

The Witch says it doesn't make sense, and Rose says she should know that nothing does.  She talks about how she created all theses stories because she needed to make sense of everything.  She thought the Witch was just the villain who tried to steal her story.  Returning to the comment last issue that made me laugh — the Witch telling Rose that Rose's pain was the Witch's story — Rose tells her that the story is their story.  (As she does, we see a young Rose clutching Wallace looking at a young Eleanor with fire around her feet.)

Rose then helps the Witch to her feet.  Outside, Evil gloats to Elliott that he can see in his eyes that he never left him, but, before he can kill him, the Witch tells Evil to stop.  Evil reminds the Witch she promised him deaths, and the Silver Flame strikes, ripping out Evil's heart.  A much reduced Evil tells the Witch that she broke the pact and knows what doing so means.  As Evil gloats over the pain awaiting the Witch, Rose cuts him in half with Francine Mk 2, telling the Witch that she made an exception to her "no killing" rule.

Suddenly, a portal to a "realm of Terrors" opens.  The Witch wonders if she actually birthed "this plane of blood and torment," her version of Rosewood.  Rose tells her that she doesn't have to enter the portal, and the Witch responds that she broke a blood oath with "their kind."  Her soul is her penance, but she notes that she's always felt at home among the flames.  As she enters, the Witch tells Rose that she's sorry for the horror she inflicted on the Wilderlands and hopes Rose can save it to make it all mean something.

Later, Rose and Elliott joins the Rosewoodians.  The "villagers" aren't right in the head, as Wallace notes, saying they're going to need help.  Recalling the first time she created Rosewood — on the back of a menu at the diner where her mother worked, after her mother asked her to draw Wallace's homeland — Rose tries to save Rosewood.  Unfortunately, she can't.  

As Rose and Wallace lament her failure, though, a door to Earth suddenly opens.  They all walk through it, and Elliott wonders if the Rosewoodians are going to break people's brains.  But a little girl runs to Wallace and throws her arms around him as the rest of the Rosewoodians enter.

In an epilogue, 16 years later, Rose works on lesson plans as Elliott happily works in the garden.  Her son draws a picture where he's an astronaut facing a Star Eater, who's scary.  Rose then draws a large sword in the astronaut's hand and says, "Doesn't look so scary to me."

I mean, I'm exhausted just writing this review, let alone what it would've been like to live the story told here.  As I said, I wish Parker and Sheridan had more pages to tell this story, because I still feel like we rushed past important moments.  But they still stick the landing.  In the end, it's a story of broken people who don't always respond to adversity in the best way.  In the end, though, Rose had her friends and Eleanor had no one.  By understanding that, Rose is able to forgive Eleanor and save them both.

Go forth and be excellent to each other, y'all.

The Weatherman, Vol. 3 #4:  Man, this series keeps getting grimmer and grimmer.

Hovering above Venus, Jenner throws the biohphagus plague onto the frontier colony of "Resilience," with a population of 31,536 people.  

Meanwhile, in Redd Bay on Mars, a Gambit-looking figure fires sedatives into two M.S.A. guards standing watch on Nate's old apartment.  He makes his way into the apartment and searches for something.  

Elsewhere on Mars, the media are reporting on the incoming election results when they turn to a breaking news story, the arrival of the biophagus plague on Venus.  Outside the Martian president's residence, an enormous crowd gathers demanding Burga's death and for Cyrus to save them.  Burga watches the crowd and ponders aloud that she thought they could win.  Jared tries to reassure her, telling her that only 85% of the districts have reported their results.  But Burga isn't talking about the election:  she's talking about how she thought humanity would find a way to avoid what happened on Earth and that she would lead humanity to that success.  Jared expresses his faith in Burga and Agent Cross, but Burga tells him it might be time to plan for the idea that they might not make it this time.

Suddenly, Zane interrupts their conversation, saying the protestors are ready to break into the residence.  Zane recommends nuking Venus to stop the spread, though Burga notes it didn't work on Earth.  As Burga exits her office, she's met by Zane and a group of gun-toting guards aiming their weapons at her.   A coup!

Above Venus, Cross and the Marshal try to figure out why Jenner used his "magic bullet" on Venus, with its one million people, instead of dropping it on Mars, with its 10 billion people.  The Marshal hypothesizes that he's trying to amp up the dread, but they can't figure out how he's going to get the virus to Mars.  Meanwhile, White Light sees a news article about someone kidnapping a prominent physicist and throws her coffee cup at Cross' head to get her attention.  (It's pretty hilarious.)  She then points to a hypergate.

At a laboratory in a facility "elsewhere," the kidnapped physicist, Dr. Kanbe, tells Jenner that they need to activate the fusion generator in the basement to open a hypergate.  It becomes clear that they're going to send the infected Venusians through this hypergate to Mars as we see Molly herding them to the facility.  But Kanbe warns Jenner the generator will eventually collapse and informs him they'll need to open the gate once a device she hands them lights green.  Kanbe then tells Jenner that she doesn't know what Jenner is planning but demands that he keep her family safe as part of their deal.  (Really?  You don't know what he's planning to do with a hypergate, even though you know his reputation?)  Jenner pledges that they'll live out their days on a luxury space vessel (he lies, obviously) and then shoots her.

On Mars, the crowds break down the gates outside the residence, and Zane has the guards open fire.  On the team's ship, White Light identifies the facility on Mars with a strong enough power source to keep open a hypergate, and Cross calls Burga to tell her the plan.  Burga notes that hypergates are "space phenomena" that they use where they find them, and Cross informs her of Kanbe's research.  Burga promises to try to organize a strike but informs Cross of the coup and that Zane has seized the military.  Burga says it'll take an hour, and Cross says they don't have that long.  Looking at Jared's dead body (he got caught in some crossfire), Burga tells Cross it's all on her now.

As she prepares to head to the facility, Cross finds in her backpack a blood-covered piece of fabric.  It took me some re-reading to realize that it's the tie Nathan removed in issue #2 after he shot the pig.  She then has a flashback where her old boss, Fitch, tells her that their job isn't to punish the Sword of God but "save the ones that are left."

On Venus' surface, the Gambit-like figure, named Reyk, arrives and hands Cross a box, telling her that it's on the house.  She apologizes for Garren, and Reyk says that at least he's in charge now.  Telling her "greatness is for suckers," he leaves.  The Marshal  wonders why Jenner is keeping Ian alive, and Cross says that Jenner, for all his conviction, needs someone to understand him.  As such, he's going to have Ian pull the trigger, which we see on the last panel.

You guys, we are not getting a happy ending.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The March 20 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #11:  This issue is a rare misstep for Johnson, as Ash takes a total fucking leave of her senses.

Picking up where we left off last issue, Cal gives Ash the name of his contact, telling Ash that the contact sources materials for Niander Wallace, Jr. and warning Ash that the woman is very dangerous.  

Meanwhile, at Wallace, Jr.'s, an LAPD captain informs him of Luv's disappearance and complains that Wallace, Jr. provided them with a faulty product.  (That's some chutzpah.)  At the Underground's headquarters, though, it turns out Luv isn't dead — she's a live and captive, tied to a chair.  Referring to Rash as a thing, Ash tells Freysa that they can't trust her.  Rash offers to help get Ash close to Wallace, Jr., and Ash — not unreasonably — tells Rash that she doesn't trust her enough for that.  Ash suddenly has a spell, and Freysa convinces her to take Rash with her to see Cal's contact.

As they fly to a nice villa, Ash again treats Rash as a thing, calling her a "machine built for murder."  Rash — also not unreasonably — points out the "old man in San Francisco" was trying to kill her.  At the villa, a small Japanese woman named Daisy greets them and offers them tea.   When Ash tells her that they're there for information about Wallace, Jr., Daisy refers to him as "Nandy" and informs them that she was his nursemaid.

When Ash insists on asking questions, Daisy calls in her pleasure model, an enormous dude named Hanii.  (Good for her, though.  "Nandy" obviously hooked her up well.)  Ash tells Daisy to cut the shit and asks what she sources for "Nandy."  Daisy replies that she gets goods you can't buy — "organic," "fresh."  Ash informs Daisy that she (Daisy) is going to set up a meeting with Wallace, Jr. for them at their usual spot; she tells Daisy to tell him that it's urgent and to come alone.  When Daisy reasonably asks why she would do that, Ash tells her that both she and Hanii will be picking up each other's teeth if she doesn't.

I need to stress her how huge Hanii is (and, no, I don't mean huge that way, though he probably is).  I get Ash sees herself as dangerous, but it's hard to believe that Ash —who just had a spell that prompted Rash to come as an escort — would seriously think she could threaten Daisy into setting up a trap for Wallace, Jr., even with Rash with her.  If it were that easy, someone would've offed him ages ago.

At any rate, later, at the Griffin Observatory, Wallace, Jr. is prepared for Ash, who shoves a bound Luv at him.  He informs Ash that he read about her "affliction" in her police file (which he used to build Rash) and devised a cure for it, which is how we end the issue.

Again, my main complaint here is that I don't believe Wallace, Jr. would be so easy to meet.  I get Daisy is in Wallace, Jr.'s inner circle and it's a sign of Cal's connections that he could get Ash to her.  But I don't believe Wallace, Jr. would leave himself so vulnerable, even if he was prepared for Ash (as he is here).  Also the idea that Daisy would set up the meeting but not warn Wallace, Jr. is absurd.

Also, since we're resurrected pet peeves, we get an example of pet peeve #1 here, since Cal is only in this issue for a hot minute despite featuring prominently on the cover.

Cobra Commander #3:  This series remains bloody and fun.

Ripper enters the Dreadnoks' bar with Zarana and shoots one of the patrons to get everyone's attention.  (Heh.)  Zarana reveals an Energon cube, which she calls "The Juice," expositing that they've all seen what it can do, that it's a kind of fuel unlike anything they've ever seen.  In order to sell it to the highest bidder, Zarana reminds the Dreadnoks that they need to make sure no one steals it first.  She informs them that Buzzer and Ripper saw someone sniffing around her brother's "old lab." 

On cue, Zarana's other brother, Zandar, interrupts, arriving with a chained up CC, whom he's dragged from the alligator pit.  Zarana remind her those swamps are off-limits (for reasons she doesn't explain), and Zandar dismisses her outrage, saying that he was trying to find the "good stuff."  Buzzer tries to remove CC's helmet and gets shocked.  Zarana asks who he is, and CC responds, "Your future master."  (Heh.)  Torch tries to use his blowtorch to get off the helmet but it doesn't work.  

Over the course of several panels, we witness the Dreadnoks torturing CC for information.  (At one point, Ripper hilariously uses CC's blood to draw a smiley face on his helmet.)  Later, Zandar tells CC that he isn't like the other idiots — he does his homework — and notes that he's never seen the type of tech that CC is sporting, even on "the darkest parts of the web."  CC tells Zandar that his brother (clearly Zartan) sent him on a secret mission because Zarana called him for help because she doesn't trust Zandar.  Zandar falls for it and storms from the room.  

Ripper then enters and CC tells him that he (somehow) knows that he was a former teacher obsessed with biker gangs.  Ripper apparently threw away his old life and "got lost in the role," which is why he plays extra tough.  Zarana and Torch then arrive, and CC taunts Zarana, asking if she's worried about Zandar because she's worried about losing control.  At this point, Buzzer, Ripper, and Zandar break into the room in a brawl, and CC hits his tracking device, which he earlier disabled.  The Dreadnoks then assemble outside in time for Protector to arrive.  

CC stumbles into Protector's arms and Protector breaks his chains.  Ripper then attacks Protector's face with his chainsaw, but it turns out it really isn't his face.  CC informs Protector that he's found the Energon, which, to Protector's mind, means the Dreadnoks are trying to deny Golobulus his due.  Protector then gets rid of his disguise, emerging from his outer skin with glowing yellow eyes and wings.  We're then treated to three panels of CC's unmoving, smiley face-d helmet as the Dreadnoks scream in agony and pain.

I kind of feel badly for the Dreadnoks, honestly.

Dawnrunner #1:  In terms of the story, the issue feels takes itself too seriously given Ram V is treading familiar ground here.  

First things first, this issue is beautiful, reminiscent of the dearly departed "Nonplayer."  My only complaint about the art is that it's so detailed that it's occasionally hard to tell what's happening, as if the lines in all their multitude get in their own way.

Moving onto the story, Ram sets out the premise well, giving details as we need them and not overwhelming us with information.  Ninety-six years ago, a portal, dubbed el Desgarrón, opened over Guatemala, and a race called the Tetza entered our world.  The Tetza were "an alien species with emergent and varying morphology," the only commonality being their "gargantuan size and the near-impervious nature of their skin."

In response, humanity did two things to survive.  First, in the "largest military effort in human history," we built "the Wall," an 1,800-mile long, 100-foot tall structure that locks the Tetza in a specific geographic enclosure.  Second, nations dissolved, and Earth's resources went to five corporations that build Iron Kings, or IK, the mecha that humanity uses to take out the Tetza.

Our introduction to the IK comes through the eyes of Anita Marr, an IK pilot, as she take control of Dawnrunner, the Cordonware Corporation's next-gen IK.  Given the attention she generates in the media on her run, it's clear the pilots are celebrities.  They're essentially athletes, as we see when a pilot named Xander tries to psyche out Anita by reminding her that he's only two kills behind her.  As she starts her preparations with her escort, Anita wonders how humanity turned something that was previously an existential threat into a sport.

The issue's sense of foreboding comes from a conversation between Cordonware's CEO, Andro Lestern, and a linguist named Murali.  Murali bursts in Lestern's office, furious that he's trying out Dawnrunner on a sole Tetza when they had an agreed Cordonware would only take action if at least three Tetza were present in the enclosure.  Murali complains that he can't study the Tetza if Lestern keeps killing them, but Lestern, not unreasonably, notes that the linguists have spent almost a century studying the Tetza and still can't tell "a Tetza poem from a fart."

Later, it all comes together as Lestern explains to, I believe, the CEOs of the other four corporations that Dawnrunner and Anita will now connect to each other directly; instead of the pilot manipulating the IK's controls, it'll be like they're the same person.  Meanwhile, Anita engages in combat with the Tetza, only unexpectedly finding herself merging with someone else's consciousness.

Ram doesn't clarify when we are, but it seems likely it's the past, when the Tetza first arrived.  Against the backdrop of a devastated city, a fellow soldier rouses Major Ichiro Takeda and informs him the military is preparing to drop "the heavy stuff" on the Tetza.  As Takeda tries to focus, Anita is trying to pull back her consciousness.  Takeda finally gets control of the body and tells the solider that he has to get to the research complex where his wife and kids are.  The soldier tells Takeda it's gone, but Takeda insists on going to find them.  Anita and Takeda seem able to speak to each other, asking each other who the other is.  They both answer, as does Dawnrunner, ominously.

Again, Ram and Cagle are onto something here, so I'm going to hang in there.  But it took at least two reads for me to get what exactly they're presenting to us, which dampens some of the kinetic energy that they're trying to infuse into this issue.

G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero #305:  Hama throws so much at us here that I'm struggling to explain what I just read.  Not helping matters, at several points, the characters know more than they should know based on what we've seen.

In Springfield, CC and his squad examine the remains of the Vipers who detonated themselves while fighting Dawn last issue.  One of the men shows CC the surveillance video of the Vipers making their way onto the community centers's roof, and CC recognizes them as Vipers.  Despite only seeing their shadows in the video, one of CC's men comments that the Vipers were modified with Revanche technology, prompting CC to realize they came at Serpentor Khan's behest.  Hypothesizing that a third party took out the Vipers, CC orders a manhunt for the perpetrator.

At her parents', Dawn provides her report to Duke while Fred 23, the Morenos' neighbor, approaches the front door.   Fred 23 tells Moreno that the community center altercation has all of Dawn's earmarks, which seems a stretch given that the only evidence of the altercation was the three burn spots where the Vipers self-immolated and a surveillance video showing their shadows.  Fred 23 encourages them to turn in Dawn, and the Morenos attack him.  Dawn is shocked, which surprises her father, who tells her that they'd never turn her into the authorities.  They tell her to flee Springfield and that they'll follow her the next day after securing Fred 23.  (Couldn't they just secure him and leave with her?)

At the Pit, Stalker tells Lady Jaye to take Multo to Spirit so they can figure out how they're going to deal with the Vipers poking around upstairs.  Meanwhile, Airtight, Black Hat, and Mainframe are examining the remains of one of the Blue Ninjas who attacked Scarlett and Snake-Eyes, and we learn that they're 95 percent android, retaining only their human brain and spinal column.   One of the hands — despite being disconnected from the body — attacks Black Hat, though Stalker shoots it before it hurts her.

Elsewhere, Spirit informs Lady Jaye and Multo that the Vipers can't figure out the way into the Pit.  Getting permission from Duke to stop them before they find the entrance, the three Joes attack.  However, one of the Vipers manages to pull the pin from a nerve-gas grenade.  Spirit grabs his hands so he can't release the pin, and Lady Jaye kills him by shooting him in the head.  As he mentioned, though, his "hands" are cable and steel, so Lady Jaye can't move his fingers.  Instead, Multo uses his machete to cut off the hand holding the pin, handing it to Spirit.  Ha!  On Cobra Island (I told you this issue just keeps going), Serpentor Khan is apparently happy the three Vipers at the Pit have gone incommunicado, claiming it was all according to plan.

Moving to the Revanche facility in Baton Rouge, Dr. Mindbender notes a "glitch" in their covert plan there.  A Python officer supervises the mutated casino guests getting in line for their transformation when a Blue Ninja tells him that one of the chips that they're planning to install isn't on the original specs.  The Python escorts him to the storeroom, which is a comms dead zone, and attacks him, using his Clayface-like abilities to strangle him.  (He initially stabs him, and the Blue Ninja comments that he missed his power core, which the Python seems to imply he did on purpose.  But then why strangle him?)  Khan exposits that Revanche will eventually realize the Blue Ninja is missing and the subsequent investigation will reveal the chip negates Revanche control but by then it'll be too late.  (But will it be?  Like, this one Blue Ninja is the only one in Revanche that knows that they're going to install an extra chip in the dozens of mutants they've got ready to go?)

Khan and Mindbender turn their attention to Scotland, where we learn the "Zartan" we see with Destro there is a simulacrum.  They're trying to take out Zartan, as we see at the issue's end, to keep the charade going.

It's too much, honestly.  Like, I feel like we needed at least another issue to cover what Hama throws at us here for it all to make sense.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The February 14 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #10:  Well, I certainly didn't see that coming!

After establishing Rash as the Blade Runner that Luv failed to be, Johnson does a 180 here as Rash kills Luv to prove to Freysa and company that she really wants to join the Resistance.  Meanwhile, something clearly happened between Ash and Cal in "Blade Runner Origins," as Ash is openly hostile to Cal.  

(I wonder what caused the beef.  Ash notes she didn't leave Blade Running due to her conscience, like he did, and he replies that she left for love.  It confuses me, since the most obvious reason Ash wouldn't like a (former) Blade Runner is because they "retired" Replicants.  But they both concluded that Replicants were people - though they took different paths to get there - so it can't be that.  That said, I'm not going to go read "Blade Runner Origins" #5-#12 to find out what happened.)

When Ash tells Cal that she wants access to Niander Wallace, Jr., Cal warns her that she's playing a dangerous game but agrees to help her because he owes her a favor.  Cal appears to run a criminal empire to fund his work helping people, prompting Ash to ask what his real profession is:  "Businessman?  Social worker?  Or just plan gangster?"  These blurred lines are actually why she approached him, , since she knows he has dealings with Wallace, Jr. and can open the door for her.

Given we know that Wallace, Jr. survives his eventual encounter with Ash, it's starting to feel like Ash is going to die and Rash is going to take her place in the Underground.  But Johnson has led us down false paths before, which is part of the reason these series are so gripping.  Only two issues left!

The Hunger and the Dusk #6:  Willow ends Book I by bringing us through Tara's childhood, as she progresses from a rambunctious child to a young woman who gets her heart broken twice - first by her parents' death and then by Troth - in a short period of time.  As compelling as the script is, Wildgoose and Msassyk really sell the emotions behind the story, infusing Tara's memories with beautiful structures and dreamy colors.  

A particularly moving sequence is when a young Tara meeting a young Faran for the first time.  After Tara awkwardly gets in trouble for asking why Faran's hair is such a light color, Tara invites Faran to come see the dormitories with her.  When she tells Faran that "real elves" built the Silent Shore thousands of years ago, you believe it, given Wildgoose's fanciful details.  Resting on the road north, present-day Tara watches this memory - of scampering up the staircase to the dormitories with Faran - as it plays (in her mind) across the ruins of a staircase near where she's camping.  It underscores Tara's isolation, showing us that she remembers what it was like to belong.  

Underscoring that point, her memories continue, and we watch Troth break off their engagement hours after her parents' death, due to the shame of her mother's failure to anticipate the Vangols' arrival.  Wildgoose and Msassyk are again excellent here, as Tara looks so dejected and depressed as this brutal memory fades to her cold reality.  In addition to this past heartbreak, I can't help but think that Tara is thinking of Cal when she tells her steed that she's been a fool.  The issue ends with Tara shaken from her memories when she accidentally stumbles upon the hidden entrance to the dwarven tidal fort that the Vangols have been using.

Before I go, I'll mention that the last page is a preview for Book II, with Wildgoose giving us a fetching and pondering Cal.  I want to mention that not everyone is so handsome.  Wildgoose shows he doesn't just draw everyone as dreamy, as Tara's two would-be assailants in this issue are certainly not as attractive as Cal or Troth.  Wildgoose saves the looks for our heroes, as it should be.

If You Find This, I'm Already Dead #1:  With a title like that, Kindt set a high bar for himself, but, man, does he clear it here.

Five years ago, the U.S. military discovered a gate to another reality and has been regularly sending teams to a planet they called Terminus ever since.  They've invited (decided to allow?) New York Times reporter Robin Reed to become the first civilian to visit Terminus, and we meet her and the unit accompanying her as they approach the Green Zone.  

The unit's leader, Gil, informs them that a lot of soldiers died to establish the Green Zone, which is two square miles.  (I'd mention the crew, but they all die pretty quickly after Gil's speech.)  He ribs Robin about crapping her pants in fear, though, as they're preparing to land, confesses that he's just hazing her and is fond of her work.  As this conversation happens, we see a missile approaching the ship through its window.  

In the next scene, we witness the aftermath of the missile strike and obvious subsequent attack:  the unit's demolitions expert is holding his viscera, another unit member is on fire, and the unit's "cold-blooded killer" is missing half his face.  It's a dramatic shift in tone that McDaid and Crabtree execute perfectly, which was necessary to underscore the "Fuck, we're stranded," vibe that really sells you on the story.

Robin realizes the hostiles - humanoid figures with, for lack of a better description, two tuning forks for heads - invaded the Green Zone by tunneling underneath its walls, and Gil leads her into the tunnels since the Tuning Forks have the Green Zone's walls covered.  They make their way deeper into a subterranean world full of civilization(s), including direct cultural references that run the gamut from Castle Greyskull to Roman piazzas.

As they make their way through squares, Robin observes the Forks are the masters and a Skrull-like race with yellow-ochre skin are the slaves.  The Forks discover Gil and Robin, and some Skrulls show them an escape route through a covered basement door.  (For helping Gil and Robin, one of the Forks executes one of the Skrulls with the business end of a lightsabers, another cultural reference).

Gil flirts with Robin as they make their way through the sewers and learn more about each other.  Robin tells Gil that she became a reporter to educate people, because war exists due to fear and ignorance.  Gil informs her that he's the solider with the most tours in Terminus because he always dreamed of going to space but washed out of the Air Force.  He calls bullshit on her "fear and ignorance" hypothesis, saying war happens because of "green and envy."  (Team Gil.)  He doesn't say much else, because a Fork cuts open his skull with his lightsaber.  (Again, McDaid and Crabtree depict jump-scare beautifully.)

Kindt now has Robin speak directly to the reader, noting her diary, which forms the basis of the issue's narration, is her attempt to capture all these events, even though she's likely dead if we're reading it.

All in all, it's a great first issue.  Kindt and the art team work really well together in keeping you on your toes, creating the type of story where even main characters can, and do, die.  As I mentioned, they seem to hint that we're in a reality where Earth's intellectual property comes to life.  Maybe?  I guess we'll see.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The January 24 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #9:  I don't have too much to say here.  

Johnson gives us a rare happy ending in this world when Ash learns from a fellow resident that Wojciech died naturally and peacefully.  He tells Ash that Wojciech confided in him about Ash and her mission and suggests the only way to get to Wallace is to bring him what he wants.  

Later that night, Rash visits Ash at a noodle stand, wanting to know more about her.  Of course, Ash expected Rash to follow her so leads her into a trap.  Captured, Rash tells Ash, Freysa, and Isobel that Wallace only knows that Cleo and Isobel were part of some sort of deal that Alexander made with Tyrell in 2019, which, she tells Isobel, is why he wants to "chop you both up now to find out."

Meanwhile, Luv gets in trouble at work for spending too much time on Wallace's cases but, that night, Wallace tells her not to concern herself with the LAPD, as they're only a necessary evil.  He tells her to focus on finding Rash.  

Hoping to find a way to Wallace, Ash visits a S&M club where she finds Cal Moreaux, of "Blade Runner:  Origins."

It's a rare meh issue for Johnson, but it's also clearly setting up the end, so I'm not complaining.  Who knows what he's going to make Ash and company endure in the next three issues.

Dungeons and Dragons:  Saturday Morning Adventures II #1:  I couldn't find this series for electronic download so I bought the TPB, and I'm glad I did.  Drizzt!  Spelljammers!

Booher really turns this series — and, retroactively, the cartoon —into a true Forgotten Realms tale here.  Whereas the Realms was the previous mini-series' setting, they're at the heart of this story here as the kids seek a cure to Dungeon Master's illness, which is slowly draining his powers.  

Their quest begins in Icewind Dale, where they're seeking a healing herb.  Not surprisingly, Drizzt is the guide Dungeon Master sent to meet the party and leads them to the herb.  Sheila arrives in the kids' Spelljammer (!), the Flyin' Maiden, which spooks some local barbarians since the kids have put out the rumor that the Maiden is haunted.  Dungeon Master is on board with Sheila and lets the kids know the herb will just slow, but not cure, his condition.  

Drizzt tells them to head to Luskan to meet his ally, since he's traveled far and wide in the Realms and may know of a cure.  Drizzt agrees to protect Dungeon Master, who'll stay in Icewind Dale with him, so the kids head to the pirates' den of Luskan.  Before they can land, ground-based ships attack the Maiden.  Although Sheila avoids the first round of cannonballs, one eventually takes down the ship.  On the ground, Jarlaxle meets the kids and tells them Drizzt put their lives in danger by sending them to Luskan, since they're at war (with whom I'm not sure).  

Suddenly, the kids realize Bobby is gone.  Sheila thinks he's run away, since she scolded him for mindlessly attacking ice trolls not once, but twice, in Icewind Dale.  But given Venger's commentary at the end, it's clear something else is afoot.

All in all, it's a great story.  Kambadais' art is fantastic, and Booher instills enough humor to keep the story light.  Most importantly, though, it feels like an old school Forgotten Realms novel, a feeling that the most recent "serious" comics — no matter how much I've liked them — haven't evoked.  I highly recommend this series for all Forgotten Realms fans.

Ghost Machine #1:  And away we go!  

After reading all the precursor series, I'm happy to report The Unnamed universe stories in this issue are a great jumping-on point.

If you've read the previous The Unnamed mini-series and one-shot, you understand why all the crime lords of Vegas have put a price on Geiger's head.  This information comes from a Nuclear Knight who tells Geiger that he'll help him find another "living nuclear reactor" who became human if Geiger helps him first.  Geiger rejects the offer, but the man tells him that many people are coming for him, like President Griffin, the Electrician (the first time we've seen that name, I think), and Redcoat.

On cue, we get Redcoat's origin — he was a British soldier shot in the head during the Revolutionary War who somehow survived and became immortal.  (We saw his origin from a different perspective in "Geiger:  80-Page Giant" #1.)  He meets a variety of historical figures throughout his long lifespan, the most interesting of whom is Benedict Arnold, the "only other immortal" still living.

In the epilogue for the Unnamed stories, the Nuclear Knight — who may or may not be Etter from the Redcoat story in "Geiger:  80-Page Giant" #1 who also may or may not be Hazmatt from "Geiger" — scrambles after Geiger.  Our narrator tells us:  "But the Nuclear Knight wasn't gonna let him go.  Geiger was to be his salvation.  'Course maybe it was the other way 'round."

Moving onto the rest of the issue, the Rook story is pretty fun.  I'll admit that it took me reading the title page twice before I understood Exodus' status quo.  Johns and Faibok really sell the dystopia that we see here, where the Better-World Corporation recruited Rook and his fellow farmers (i.e., Wardens) to grow food on its terraformed world (Exodus) in the Kepler system.  Of course, Better-World's engine (?) failed, prompting it to evacuate Exodus' civilian population with the promise of returning for its employees.  Guess what?  It didn't.

Three years later, Rook's efforts to cobble together an escape rocket to leave Exodus is coming into conflict with his nagging desire to fight to save it.  His friend, Swine, has decided to stay on Exodus and hopes Dire Wolf is right that they can form a community.  (We learn in the back matter that Dire Wolf was one of the scientists who created the masks that allow the Wardens to control the animals.)  But Johns makes it clear form the start that the wardens aren't monolithic, as we see another warden kill a doctor who helped Dire Wolf update her helmet.  "The War of the Wardens is at hand."

In terms of the other stories, I'd consider getting the "Rocketfellers" if I didn't have a 500+ issue backlog, but, otherwise, they were fine but not my cup of tea.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The October 25 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Alan Scott:  Green Lantern #1:  This issue is intense.  

I remember how excited I was reading about Scott's gay counterpart in "Earth 2," and I was thrilled when DC decided to make him gay in the main universe (or whatever we're calling it these days).  This series' mission is clearly to show that we're not dealing with the usual retcon here:  we just didn't know Alan's history as well as we thought.  

Sheridan starts making this point from page 1, as J. Edgar Hoover blackmails Alan with evidence of his homosexuality to get him to play a more active role in the Justice Society of America.  Anyone  who's ever held that secret likely felt Alan's fear as viscerally as I did here.  As I said, this issue is intense.

Hoover's evidence comes in the form of a diary and photos that the Army's Project Crimson recovered.  The photos show Alan's lover, Johnny, in his arms in a motel room, bringing us to a flashback to 1936.  Sheridan shows his thoughtful approach to Alan as a character when he underscores that the fear we saw Alan display in his meeting with Hoover isn't just that people will discover he's gay.  It's that he is gay.  He pauses fooling around with Johnny because they're committing a sin.  Asking if it's because they're not married, Johnny alludes to what my husband dubs the Republican cul-de-sac, pointing out he'd marry Alan in a minute if the government let them.  Realizing Alan isn't just talking about marriage, Johnny puts his arms around Alan and asks him how he could love him if God didn't want him to do so.  (He also asks how God could make him look so good in a ring, introducing Chekhov's gun, i.e., his college baseball ring.)

We move from the motel room to a ship, where we learn Alan is part of the Army Corps of Engineers and they're all on a mission to recover the "Crimson Flame" amid "rumors about the new German leader."  Alan and Johnny have built a container for the Flame, which would give the United States the power to stop any war before it starts.  That night, Johnny uses his ring to propose to Alan, who panics since someone might've seen him do so.  Suddenly, though, they see a red glow, the story of which, annoyingly, is apparently told in "DC Pride:  Through the Years" #1.

Back in the present (i.e., 1941), Scott is telling this story to his manservant, Derby, who, like me, doesn't get why Alan's links his reticence to join the JSA to his homosexuality, since it isn't like he's going to fuck a guy at headquarters.  Derby presses, and Alan appears more afraid about joining any team given what happened the last time he was on one.  (Alan is giving very drama queen here.)  At any rate, they hear sirens, and Alan changes into his costume and is gone.

Returning to 1936, Alan narrates that his obsession with the Flame came from his hope that successfully recovering it could be his and Johnny's tickets to leave the Army, where he could make it the subject of a doctoral dissertation and a few books and build a life with Johnny.  They capture the Flame in Alan's device, but it gets angry and attacks the ship.  Alan saves Johnny from falling into the sea, and someone manages to save Alan before they both go overboard, too.  Alan releases the Flame to save the ship, but, as it departs, it grabs Johnny.

In 1941, Alan arrives on the scene of the crime and is confused when the lieutenant insists that he was already there.  The lieutenant asks where the "loon with the gun" was, adding to Alan's confusion.  The lieutenants notes that Alan and the loon, who was only wearing shorts and combat boots, are hard to mistake for someone else.  Before he can get more information, Alan stops a crimson blast from attacking the area and finds the aforementioned "loon's" body on top of a building.  Flash is on the scene and notes that the man looks like he drowned, given the froth around his mouth and nostrils, and has second-degree burns on his arms.  Flash wonders aloud how someone can burn and drown at the same time.  Looking at the body, Alan realizes that it's Johnny.  

In 1936, the Flame takes Johnny from Alan, and the men restrain him as Alan hears the Flame's voice saying, "Firrssst we bring deathhh..."  In 1941, we see people holding down Alan in an Arkham jumpsuit as he narrates that he's heard that "booming, raspy, maddening sound" every since.

All in all, it's a great start.  As I mentioned, it really centers Alan as a creature of his era, explaining why this part of his life remained a secret for so long.  Unless DC retcons Jade and Obsidian's existence, it's clear that Alan doesn't resolve his struggles with his identity, eventually marrying a woman and trying to put his homosexuality behind him.  For now, though, we get to see Alan living his life authentically.  It's sad that time will end, but we'll see where we go from here.

Blade Runner 2039 #8:  This issue reminded me of how title card in "Cyberpunk 2077" doesn't appear until you're about 25% or so into the game.  Johnson establishes the stakes for the first time here, as Ash realizes that she has to kill Niander Wallace, Jr. if Isobel and, by extension, Cleo are ever going to rest.  That said, she only gets the opportunity to take on Wallace, Jr. after Isobel swipes Luv and Rash's spinner and opens fire on them and Mack sacrifices himself to give Ash  time to get in the spinner.  Along the way, we're treated to Rash discovering what pain is and becoming obsessed with it, an awakening just as creepy as it sounds.

Void Rivals #5:  Kirkman veers into an area that we don't often see in "G.I. Joe" or "Transformers" comics, implying Zerta's worshippers are connected with some sort of mystical power.  It's an interesting addition to the Energon Universe, as we're calling it.

This revelation comes shortly after Solila warns Darak that they're going to torture him and the guards promptly arrive to do so.  (She's like Liam Neeson in "Taken.")  After the guards leave with Darak, a purple cloaked woman named Mistress Vill and her two acolytes enter the cell.  Solila isn't pleased, telling them that she turned her back on "you zealots" long ago.  Vill tells Solila that, once someone bathes in Zerta's light, it can't be undone.  She asserts that Solila will also be a Keeper of the Light at some point.  Solila accuses Vill of following her own will, not Zerta's, and Vill comments that Solila sounds like Zalilak.  Solila asks Vill why's she's tormenting her, as if her imprisonment isn't enough, and Vill tells Solila it's just another trial (like the "Caverns of Rall") that will teach Solila something.  Telling Solila that her destiny isn't to die in darkness, Vill pledges to help her and gives her a "unique item of power."

Meanwhile, on Quintessa, Skuxxoid has brought the Quintesson with him to try to extort some cash from the Quintessons who are furious the Quintesson failed in his mission to bring a scorpia (the beast we saw last issue) to the fighting arenas on Dominus as planned.  After they have the Sharkticons drag away the Quintesson, the Quintessons order Skuxxoid to stand trial.  He starts babbling about how he'll be in their debt if they let him survive and they can have all his ships, mentioning the one containing Agorrian and Zertonian rare metals.  Interestingly, the Quintessons stop him at the mention of "Zertonians."

Back on the Ring, Darak endures his third day of torture.  After the torturer leaves, a young boy arrives with Darak's equipment and tells him to come with him.  Darak notes that the boy isn't surprised to see his face, and the boy informs him that he's from a small group with use for him.  Darak then finds himself face to face, in his words, with "some kind of underground resistance."  Its leader, Kanela, confirms that she and the other "Unifiers" seek to unify the Ring.  Darak tells them that he won't help unless they rescue Solila, prompting Kanela to tell him that he has no idea who she really is.  (I'm guessing it has something to do with Villa previously calling her the "First Chosen.")  We close with Solila staring at a green-colored USB-like device, likely the "item of power."

All in all, Kirkman really manages to strike a great balance with this series.  It moves quickly without making you feel like you're dragging your way through too much exposition while at the same time keeps you guessing at every turn.  Good stuff.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The September 27 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #7:  F-u-c-k.  

It turns out Mack wasn't any Replicant we've previously seen Ash encounter, so Johnson shows us their encounter in a flashback here.  Ash refers to Mack as "parts," making it clear how far she's come from the Ash we first met lo those many series ago.  Continuing the flashback, Ash shoots Mack point-blank in the chest, and he falls 20 stories.  She calls her urchin squad to harvest the parts (reminding them she wants her money the next day), but Mack awakens after one of the urchins cuts off his hand.

In the present, Ash convinces Mack that Isobel changed her mind about Replicants when she was trying to keep Cleo alive while Alexander wanted Cleo dead.  Mack decides to travel with Ash while Lexi stays to watch over Cleo.  He explains that, when they first met, he was trying to get to Memphis and an alleged haven for Replicants there.  He didn't find the contact, though, and he eventually decided he needed to leave Los Angeles, and the Blade Runners, behind him.  He walked until he couldn't walk anymore, and the old woman who ran the farm took him in.  When she died, she left him the farm, even though it was dried up like everything else at that point.

The pair arrive in San Francisco, which is devastated.  Mack explains that a series of large earthquakes destroyed it and the aftershocks - which continue, as he and Ash feel one - prevented its reconstruction.  Mack warns Ash not to bring with her anything she isn't willing to leave in San Francisco, but I still don't see why San Francisco is so dangerous.  I mean, we've already survived Central Valley cannibals!  At any rate, they head straight to Isobel's family estate.  There, Ash calls for Isobel, only to watch someone shoot Mack.  That someone?  Rash, who's with Luv.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Seriously, this series was on a slow burn initially, but, holy shit, Johnson is amping up the action and tension now!

Nine-Month-Old Comics!: The August 23 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #6:  We're now halfway through the series so we're still in the phase where we're accruing mysteries not solving them.

Cleo hangs on long enough for Lexi to find someone who can help, and it turns out he's a Replicant.  He examines Cleo and informs Ash the bullet went right through her and missed any organs.  Ash decides Lexi is going to stay with Cleo while she (Ash) heads to San Francisco.  The Replicant quips that he thoughts they were insane enough traveling through the Central Valley but they must be suicidal if they're going to San Francisco.  Ash thinks they're all settled when the Replicant pulls a gun on her, saying that she once dismissed him as spare parts.  I don't recognize him, but I figure this incident happened before or during the first series if Ash was speaking about Replicants that way.  He notes that he's one of the models that lived beyond their expiration date, so we'll see where this confrontation goes.

Meanwhile, Rash immediately proves herself a better detective than Luv, who seems dimmer by the day.  After realizing the blind guy at the pier isn't going to tell them the truth about the spinner crash from a few days earlier, the pair visit Mr. Hollis, one of Selwyn's scientists, to learn more about Isobel.  He's visibly rattled, so Rash knows they're barking up the right tree.  Hythe appears then, as she figured they'd go after Selwyn's people, and commits to killing Wallace since it's the only way she'll be free.  Again, Luv is incompetent, and Rash manages to "retire" Hythe, a sad moment given how far she'd come.  Rash tells Hollis they'll give him a moment to pull himself together before asking about Isobel.  Dun-dun-DUN.

I'm going to guess we're all going to converge in San Francisco next issue.

No/One #5:  This issue gets meta quickly, as much of the drama revolves around the podcast Julia and Teddy run.

Of course, it isn't all the drama, as Aaron recants his confession.  As Teddy exposits in an editorial meeting, the confession is really all the district attorney had on Aaron:  Richard Roe is out there committing murders with the actual murder weapon, and No/One is the one who "caught" Aaron in the Carrie Blast Furnaces.  Without the confession, the PPD doesn't have anything linking Aaron to the crimes directly.  Ben learns about Aaron's change of heart when Vince visits him, and he's furious, particularly when Vince asks if he told Aaron just how circumstantial the case against him was.  Ben charges into the prison, but Aaron refuses to see him.

But the podcast drama takes center stage with a "The Wire"-esque feel.  In the editorial meeting, JC suggests they name Aaron a potential candidate as No/One, which Julia notes makes zero sense.  JC suggests they "get creative;" Julia notes it isn't season 17 of "Law and Order."  Frustrated, JC orders Julia and Teddy to discuss No/One's identity in the next podcast.  Eager to please, Alejandro suggests Michael as a candidate, since apparently Ben identified his body from photos and not the body itself.  (Alejandro admits he got the theory from Reddit.)  Julia is pissed about JC's mandate, but Teddy tells her to get off her high horse and either quit or accept her job is to do what people like JC tell her to do.  Julia realizes he's right, so I may actually look forward to the next podcast.

At the prison, Aaron's high powered lawyer, Roger Dennehy, predicts he'll have him free by the end of the month.  As Dennehy drives home, No/One pops one of his tires and informs him that he's got to keep Aaron in jail because he's guilty.  No/One threatens to expose Denney's "criminal enterprise:"  compromising witnesses, buying jurists, etc.  Later, No/One breaks into Dennehy's offices and takes out his goons in short order.  It's a Batman-esque tour de force, making it clear that No/One isn't just relying on the suit to protect him; dude has skills.

The issue ends with the DA dropping the charges against Aaron and him leaving prison.  Julia's mother pins it on Aaron's relationship to his dad, who is loading up a gun in the issue's last panel. 

Before getting to the podcast, I'll note that it's interesting No/One is so convinced of Aaron's guilt.  It definitely implies a connection between Aaron and No/One before Aaron (allegedly) became Richard Roe and whoever No/One is became No/One.

Turning to the podcast, Julia and Teddy do what JC demanded and go through the potential candidates as No/One:  Donovan Kemp, Vince Harmon, and Alejandro Rios!  

The most interesting revelation is that Donovan Kemp is a former "local two-sport legend in basketball and football."  If his progressive activism gave him the motive, his athleticism gave him the ability.  To that point, I wasn't surprised that Vince is a suspect, particularly when we learn he was an Army Ranger before he became a cop.  I hadn't thought about it, but they're right that Alejandro Rios also fits the profile, given he's a gym nut (which we saw in a conversation between him and Julia in a gym) and a black belt in Brazilian jujitsu.  Alejandro is also apparently under some form of police investigation.

Despite the fact JC and Teddy demanded Julia engage in this discussion, Julia realizes they're uncomfortable with it and uses it as a form of revenge against them.  She goes on a tirade about how irresponsible this brand of supposition is in the first place and the podcast ends in chaos.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #37:  This issue is a "Dark Droids" tie-in issue, though we only get brief allusions to the larger event.  Mostly, it's focused on Kligson, the cybernetics expert to whom Boba Fett sent T'onga to fix Valance's memory.  

Boba Fett's father Jango and Kligson worked together as bounty hunters back in the day, and, when Kligson was injured in a heist, Kligson had Jango take him to a space station orbiting a moon.  It turns out droids worshiping Ajax inhabited the station and agreed to help Kligson when he revealed his family were the ones who sheltered Ajax and community before the Jedi came for him.  (Interesting the Jedi came for Ajax...)  

In the present, the droids agree to bring Valance to Kligson, who's now a deranged cyborg eager to wipe clean Valance's memory so, I think, he can inhabit his body.  Just Valance's luck.

Also Read:  Local Man:  Gold #1

Ten-Month-Old Comics!: The July 26 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #5:  Holy fucking shit, that's a helluva ending.

Niander Wallace, Jr. chews some scenery here, as he's want to do, as he introduces Rash to Luv and tells Luvthat Rash will obey her every word, except, like Luv, to kill a human.  Meanwhile, at Ash and Freya's refuge, Freya tells Ash that giving reproductive technology to Replicants is obscene because it means the Replicants themselves would need to build more Replicants and Freya believes no one should make more Replicants.

The argument goes unresolved as Freya and Chloe head to San Francisco.  Chloe notes that Luv knows Isobel was from San Francisco, but Ash reminds Chloe that the Bay Area is a dark zone and Luv doesn't likely have a contact, like they do, to get them into it.  (Man, I'm excited to see the Bay Area.)  Given the lack of electricity in the Bay Area, Ash and Chloe are taking an old, fuel-powered truck.

Problems occur when they get a flat tire and a group of cannibalistic yahoos who populate the Central Valley find them.  The leader sends one of the yahoos to check the truck bed, and Lexi opens fire.  Ash and she take out the rest of the gang, only to discover Chloe has a bullet wound above her heart!  Fuck!

Pathfinder:  Wake the Dead #2:  This issue is a lot better than the first one; with the characters and premise established, we actually get something approaching a story.

We begin with the Pathfinder Chronicles entry about Ecanus informing us that all its citizens graduate from Skirmish School, ready to fight the undead at any notice.  To this point, the authorities call the citizenry to action to capture the team for its "murder" of the two deathsealers.

Speaking of the team, Lem manages to send away last issue's threat with his flute, and Quinn grabs an "interesting blade."  Seelah suggests they escape to the sewers., but Quinn notes the citizens train blindfolded in the sewers.  He instead suggests they head to one of the city's "canvasariers," where the city makes all foreigners stay, figuring they can try to blend.  

Thankfully, Quinn's blade is a screamsword and warns them of danger.  It leads them a dark room in a nearby building, where a woman named Nyctessa silences the "crying blade" and introduces herself.  Seelah realizes Nyctessa was controlling the sword, which she confirms; she informs the team that it responds to necrotic energy, which she has "in abundance."  (I don't get this part.  Was she controlling it or was it just responding to her?)  The team learns Nyctessa was also trying to meet Gabsalia Venris but got trapped in Ecanus when they shut down the city.  

Nyctessa informs the team that her divination spell showed her Gabsalia trapped at a refuge for escaped Gebbite "quicks" in the Spellscar desert or, as Harsk calls it, the Mana Wastes, "with the wild magic storms and the zombie dinosaurs."  Harsh is ready to call it a day when Nyctessa reveals why everyone wants Gabsalia:  she has a list of embedded quicks in all the organizations that hired them.  That said, the quicks don't know they're spies:  when they die, they'll be reborn as loyal to Geb.

Without much choice, the team accepts Nyctessa into its ranks and flees the oncoming skirmishers.  Quinn reveals the Fleshforges on the city's border with the Wastes release their "unholy creations" into either the city or the Wastes.  If they can make their way through a Fleshforge, they can "escape" into the Wastes.  Sajan manages to save the team from a creature, and Lem uses his illusion skills to cover their escape.  With little choice, Harsk decides to stick with the crew to head into the Wastes to find Gabsalia.

Again, this issue is much stronger than the last one, with surprise twists that still make sense.  I'm looking forward to seeing how the story unfurls.

Star Wars: Darth Vader - Black, White, and Red #4:  This issue is great.  If last issue showed us where Anakin still exists inside Vader, this issue shows us where Vader is in complete control.  In fact, the authors make you almost root for Vader here as he faces some arrogant opponents.

First, I thought Cyn's story ended last issue, but Aaron shows us Vader actually taking out Cyn and his crew.  Vader first takes out Cyn's friends, who curse him as they die.  He leaves Cyn for last, and Cyn gloats that he exploited Vader's weakness in a way Vader couldn't do to him.  Somehow, though, Vader uses his powers to shut down Cyn's motor functions, allowing him to feel and watch as some local denizens eat him alive.  Honestly, I don't really feel bad for ol' Cyn.

Steve Orlando wrote the second story and, while I'm not normally a huge fan of his work, I think this story is probably the best of the bunch.  Vader conducts a reconnaissance mission on a seemingly uninhabited planet called Uokara in the Unknown Regions, declaring it ready for mining.  Later, we see a limbless Vader in a bacta tank, itself a remarkable site.  It reminds you that a man - Anakin - exists in that suit.  The medical droid tells Vader that even he needs quarantine after contact with a Class IV planet.  Suddenly, Vader finds himself in his mind, and we meet Ghymnon, the virus that inhabits the world.  He informs Vader that he's destroyed many would-be conquerors, but, of course, as Vader says, "There is will...and there is me."  Vader manages to expel the virus from his body, which the bacta sterilizes.  We later see Vader supervising the beginning of the mining mission.

Finally, Vader returns to Hoth after an officer gets word that something has destroyed a leftover Imperial probe droid.  Vader says he'll look into it, and the officer suggests it's too dangerous even for Vader.  The officer is proven correct when a family of Wampas attack Vader.  The battle sequence involves an overwhelmed Vader barely managing to hid in the remains of an AT-AT before calling for help.  He collapses after taking out the Wampas, and the Empire collects him.  When the officer notes that he warned Vader, Vader kills him.  Ha!  Seriously, only an idiot would do that and, as we know, Vader doesn't tolerate idiots.

Eleven-Month-Old Comics! The April 26 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Blade Runner 2039 #4:  As usual, Johnson tells a story where it isn't totally clear - in the best possible way - where we're going and it's definitely unclear if we're going to get anything close to a happy ending.

Ash has two goldfish-eating twins decrypt the disk Hythe gave her, revealing that Niander is trying to create Replicants who can breed.  (One of them refers to the new Replicants as "new Isobels," so I'm not sure Isobel is safe, wherever she is.)

In her penthouse, Chloe reminds us how sharp she is when she figures out Luv isn't there to protect her.  Luv lets Chloe know that it was Chloe's use of her mother's maiden name when she arrived on Earth that threw up the red flag.  Ash arrives and hands Luv the disc, which I initially thought meant she didn't really care about Niander's efforts and just wanted to save Isobel.  Instead, Luv departs to verify the disc, and Ash reveals to Chloe that it's blank.  They bolt in Ash's spinner, but Luv is in pursuit.  Ash crashes the spinner just past the Seawall, and she and Chloe swim to where Taki runs the Railroad.  She informs him that she's closing the Railroad for a while and makes her way home with Chloe.

At home, she learns the Replicants from last issue are still trapped on Earth because the off-world smuggling network has gone to ground.  Freysa and Ash are warmer here, which makes me happy.  Freysa reveals that she knows about the Replicant cop, and Ash tells her that Luv seemed "less human than human" to her.  (Johnson may be setting up some reveal where this breed of Replicant is indeed less human, which seems to track with K's portrayal in "Blade Runner 2049.")  When Ash reveals Niander's experiments in fertility, Freysa pushes her to destroy the disc since no one should have that knowledge.  Ash archly asks, "Not even Replicants?"

Chloe exits the bathroom having shaved her hair to make her look like Rabbit, and it's a really warm moment between the three of them, which, again, makes me happy.  Chloe reveals that Isobel is likely in San Francisco since the original Isobel had family with money there.  Freysa says the Bay is a "dark zone," making entry and exit difficult, and, man, I can't wait to see what the Bay is like after the glory of Vegas in "Blade Runner 2049."

The issue ends with Niander revealing to Luv that he made her a partner better able to navigate the world with information the LAPD gave him:  a Replicant young Ash!

Local Man #3:  The issue starts with Jack attending a book reading, which isn't exactly the way you'd expect this series to start an issue.  It turns out Hodag's former teammate, Stacy Wohl, a.k.a. Frightside, wrote the book.  Stacy's power is that a "hateful, whispering, inky monster from beyond" possesses her, and Jack doesn't find it a coincidence that Stacy is in Farmington the week someone murdered Hodag, particularly since The Fright (Stacy's monster) could perpetrate the crimes against Hodag's body the murderer did.  

Jack shows Stacy Hodag's drawing of the Aphek Engine and wonders if the Desolators were trying to find it.  To Jack's mind, Hodag couldn't join the team due to his condition, and the Desolators iced him given his knowledge.  Stacy laughs and reveals that Hodag made the drawing based on a conversation they had in an online support group, the Constructors, which Hodag established for ex-villains.  But Hodag never got the token because he kept backsliding, "trying to burrow into a quarry...looking for imaginary doomsday devices so he could play villain."  Interestingly, Stacy reveals that Hodag developed an eidetic memory after the accident, even though all his drawings look like a toddler drew them.  Stacy says that she was in town to help Hodak but is now just staying for the funeral.

There's then a hilarious sequence where Jack thanks the metal-detecting priest who watched Pepper for him (after Pepper yet again unexpectedly followed him) by letting him know God is real, even if God is a "weird android thing made out of gold and platinum" and "eats souls."  He then saves said priest from a car hitting him.  

Meanwhile, at Stacy's hotel room, someone attacks her, telling her that he read the parts of her book he was supposed to read.  She admitted in the book that the Fright gets stronger the more scared she is, so it seems like he's trying to kill her to bring out the Fright.

We end with a few quick hits:

• Jack talks to Inga, and he (not unreasonably) thinks they're flirting.  But he crosses a line when he kisses her, which is pretty much Jack to a T.  She doesn't react too badly (though makes it clear it shouldn't happen again).  When thinking about how Inga's husband is basically just guarding the quarry since nothing happens in the town, Jack realizes he needs to go to the quarry to investigate the Hodag mystery.
• At Third Gen HQ, Cutting Edge sends Soft-Kore into Camo Crusader's quarters; as he pulls a huge cross, she shows him a headline about Jack saving the priest.  
• At Stacy's hotel, a maid discovers Stacy's body as the Fright appears ready to enter our dimension.

As expected, we're going interesting places that didn't seem obvious at the series' start.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader - Black, White, and Red #1:  I haven't been a fan of the previous iterations of this idea, to the point where I felt like an idiot buying this one.  But I'm happy to say this one is much better, perhaps because Vader lends himself so well to the concept.

Aaron's story is the series' marquee event, in part because it's going to run through each issue.  If I'm guessing correctly, "Doctor Sendvall" helped transform Anakin into Vader, a fact Sendvall's son leverages to lure Vader into an ambush.  Vader is aware that the ambush is coming but mistakes Sendvall as a Rebel, which he assures Vader he isn't.  Vader is impressive as usual, using a Stormtrooper as a battering ram and severing the hands of several of the attackers and then using said hands to continuing firing the weapons they're holding.  (It's a little...much.)  Vader corners Sendvall, who utters "Padmé...help me."  (It's part of the reason I assume his father was in the room when Vader uttered those words.). Vader is enraged, and Sendvall uses his rage against him, triggering a device that incapacitates Vader.  He then calls someone to say that he's bringing Vader to the chop shop.  That'll go well.

Although I don't know who Momoko's character is, she dreams of Vader chasing her regardless of what she does to escape, definitely underscoring the story's "Inescapable" title.

The final story does involve rebels, though not the Rebels we know.  A group of Torku residents engage in a suicide mission, planning to use an orbital weapon (I think) to destroy an Imperial base hosting a gathering of some of the Empire's most elite citizens, including Vader.  The rebels sneak in a scientist who can fix the weapon, which they've been sabotaging for a year so the Empire couldn't use it.  Of course, Vader somehow knew their plan, allowing the scientist to fix it and then killing him before he can use it.  It's an interesting story in that it reminds us that not everyone was just waiting for the Rebellion to save them.  But it does lean a little too much into omnipotent Vader for my tastes.

Also Read:  Dungeons & Dragons: Saturday Morning Adventures #2