FCBD 2024! (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Flash Gordon #0:  Holy shit, this issue is great.  Conrad's Flash is sexy AF, as he's supposed to be, the Earther football jock unexpectedly leading the fight against Ming the Merciless.  Adams doesn't spend a lot of time on exposition, keeping us focused mostly on the action, so it helps if you have at least some have hazy memories of the 1980 movie.  That said, Adams' focus on the present and not the past makes the issue as exciting as it is.

Flash and the team are trying to hijack a shipment on Mongo (Ming's home world) only for Flash to die when some of Ming's troops open fire on them.  Ming is shocked Flash died so ingloriously.  After visiting the corpse to confirm Flash really is dead, Ming returns his focus on the Unraveled, a device one of his scientists created to destroy Earth.  (Creepily, the scientist reminds Ming of their deal, that he gets Ming's daughter Aura's hand in marriage.)  

Of course, it turns out Flash isn't dead.  Commenting to herself about the things she does for love, Aura climbs a tree and fires a DNA-seeking syringe into the palace.  The syringe finds Flash, awakening him from his "death."  Flash being Flash, he immediately leaps into battle with Ming.  

Expositing that the locals hate Ming enough to tell Flash about his plans for the Unraveled (hence the plan he and the team put into action), Flash fights to stop Ming from activating the device.  However, he's too late.  Ming informs Flash that — as the scientist helpfully exposited to us earlier — the Unraveled can't be stopped once activated.  Flash does the only thing he can, knocking over the Unraveled, which means it'll destroy Mongo instead!

In other words, it's pretty great.  So long as Adams keeps Flash charming and Conrad keeps him sexy, they're giving the people what they want.  But Adams really ups the ante as Flash is forced to choose genocide over letting Earth die.  If Adams somehow keeps the charm and sex appeal but also make it somehow more serious, like he does here, he'll have something special on his hands.

Free Comic Book Day:  Star Wars #1:  The best Star Wars stories to my mind involve characters who don't usually get center stage.  As such, I loved spending a few panels with the Storm Troopers "guarding" the abandoned Alliance base on Hoth as they complain that their lieutenant got them stationed there for his apparent role in the destruction of the Palpatine statue on Coruscant (from "Star Wars" #36).

Unfortunately (and not surprisingly), it doesn't turn out too well for them.  Chewie, Lando, Leia, and Luke return to Hoth after they get word that some Alliance troops failed to evacuate and come face-to-face with the Imperial detachment.  After the left-behind troops find the Rebels during the ensuing melee, the gang skedaddles, with the Imperials in "hot" (heh) pursuit.  (The lieutenant hopes capturing the Rebels is his ticket off the planet.)  Luke leads the gang to the cave where the Wampa attacked him, and they hilariously roast up the arm Luke amputated from the Wampa for food.  The next day, they discover that the lieutenant and his men crashed and froze in the storm.  Ah, Hoth.

The Darth Vader story is much more interesting, as Vader's time in the Martyrdom of Frozen Tears causes him to suffer a hallucination that reminds him that he has to find Luke.  (Did he really forget?)  Knowing that he can't approach Luke directly without causing him to bolt, Vader sends out Sabé.  She somehow knows to track down Warba Calip, the alleged mystic who trained Luke in "Star Wars (2015)" #69-75.  

Warba tells Sabé that she'll help her find Luke if she picks up a box at a nearby cantina.  Instead of getting the box, Sabé gets into a fight and helps an indentured servant escape his master.  (Of course she does.)  Telling Sabé that she isn't sure anyone ever passes tests, Warba tells Sabé to meet her the next day at dawn.  

The most interesting part, though, is that Warba returns to the cantina later to meet...Darth Vader!  He asks if Sabé failed the test, which Warba says she did.  Warba clicks open the box and pulls out some sort of tile with the Imperial emblem on it.  Vader tells her she passed the test as she kneels before him.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Gathcaman #0 FCBD:  Bunn doesn't do anything particularly revolutionary here, mostly just introducing us to the Super Science Team and their never-ending battle against Galactor, an organization whose motivation seems best described as "do evil."  Conversely, we learn the Team uses "secretive ninja techniques, fringe science, and bleeding edge technology" to save Earth.  But Batista and Lopez are really the show here, as they provide fantastic and kinetic fight sequences.  That said, Bunn ends with an intriguing hook, as Dr. Nambu, the Team's coordinator, is preparing a new Super Science Team for the day the current one fails.

The back-up stories are interesting enough, highlighting Ken's grit as he flies back to base while injured (and possibly discovering his "deceased" father isn't deceased) and Galactor chief Berg Katse's ruthlessness as he takes out a rival.  If anything, it's these two stories that really sell the concept for me, so I'll be back for "Gatchaman" #1.

Jonny Quest #0:  I've seen the rave reviews for this title, and I totally get why after this issue.

In 1964, the Sea Quest crew finds itself in an unexpected storm as Dr. Quest tests his new "quantum counter."  A bolt of lightning hits the ship, causing the counter to shed a trippy light.  The next morning, the crew finds calmer seas and heads home to a different Palm Key than the one they left a week ago.  They're not only surprised to a find insectoid security bot launching itself at them but the dilapidated remains of the Sea Quest itself!  Meanwhile, someone watches from a security camera, intoning that Dr. Quest isn't going to like the answer to what happened.  Dun-dun-DUN!  

Not only does Casey provide a propulsive script, but Piriz's action sequences are spectacular and Scaramella's colors really set the mood.  It's an A+ outing, and I'm stoked to jump on this bandwagon.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Free Comic Book Day 2024 #1:  This issue is more of a prelude to "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Nightwatcher" #1 than it is to the upcoming reboot that Jason Aaron is writing, though I'm not complaining. 

We're introduced to the Nightwatcher as we learn that a "mutagen bomb exploded in New York City" a year ago, turning a portion of the population into mutants or, as the narrator puts it, "what many consider to be something other."  It's unclear if the Nightwatcher is working alone, but he definitely sees himself as the mutants' defender as he stops some humans-dressed-as-mutants from robbing the mutants' vault.

The other story is a continuity-less one, a fun story about what Splinter does when he sends the boys on patrol because the father of four teenage boys just really needs a break sometimes.

All in all, it's good, FCBD fun.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The April 3 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Three (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Sacrificers #7:  This issue is strangely direct for a Remender issue.  It tells two stories:  the first shows how the events of the previous six issues are impacting the world and the second sets up where we're going next.

We begin with a terrible storm striking Noom's village.  The narration informs us that Noom's father, the king, told her every night at bedtime about the "great service that awaited her in the golden castle of Rokos," and every night Noom thanked him for the "wondrous life he'd given her."  

In the castle, Noom's father is irate at Aquatica's failure to protect the village.  He demands the summoning staff from his priest and summons Aquatica, who's equally furious at Noom's father's presumption in summoning him.  But Noom's father isn't having it and immediately informs Aquatica that the storm is going to destroy the village despite the fact they've done everything he's asked.  Aquatica blames the storm on Luna, and Noom's father screams at him that he sacrificed his daughter so Aquatica must help.  Aquatica wordlessly agrees and climbs to the castle's roof.  He pushes against the tides, cursing Luna, and then sees the enormous tidal wave coming to destroy the village.

Meanwhile, Soluna flees the Warden's minions.  The narration tells of Soluna hearing her parents' fights from the hallway as their marriage dissolved.  One night, Luna came to Soluna to tell her that she was leaving.  The narration is particularly brutal as someone on the verge of 50 years old, with Luna telling Soluna that age will take everything from you, leaving you with only two options:  "Die or learn to push through.  And in doing so learn that you're capable of things that once seemed unimaginable."  (Thanks, Rick.  I needed that.)

The narration continues as Soluna fleeing the minions, finally climbing to a plateau where she finds a fruit-filled tree.  Luna tells Soluna that this epiphany ended her marriage because she realized the horrible things she did to stay young.  As the narration concludes, Soluna is violently ill from the fruit, and a Venom-esque monster attacks her, inserting itself inside her as she plummets from a cliff.

Star Wars #45:  I was wondering how Lando was going to extricate himself from this mess, and it becomes clear here.

First, Salli Georgio is fantastic, and I hope to see her often in future issues.  After her cross-examination of Leia, I could actually see Leia taking a shine to her, despite them being on different sides right now.

But we don't immediately get to Salli.  Leia, Admiral Ackbar, and General Madine scramble to insulate the Alliance from the dangers inherent in the Empire possibly getting its hands on Mon Mothma and everything she knows.  I'll be honest, I hadn't really thought through those implications when she was taken last issue.  But Soule does a great job underscoring the threat she poses, particularly as Madine makes it clear the Empire will employ every possible torture to get information from her.  Ackbar scrambles the Fleet according to Tactical Plan Eighteen, and Madine sends Kes Dameron and his Pathfinder team to try to find her.

Back in the courtroom, Madine shoots down Salli's attempt to get them to dismiss the trial, and Captain Muskray uses Leia's testimony to remind everyone that Han is frozen in carbonate with Jabba the Hutt due to Lando's treachery.  Salli creates some breathing room when she gets Leia to admit that Lando only stayed on Bespin to save his people, but she's worried Lando's heart isn't in his defense.  

It turns out she's correct.  Lando has Salli get Chewbacca and tells him that he recognized the kidnapper's voice when she spoke to Mon Mothma:  Hachi, a Scarabi mercenary.  Lando tells Chewie that he knows where a bunch of Scarabi safe houses are but Chewie has to bring the information to command since they'd just believe Lando was working an angle.  Chewie agrees and leaves, and Salli is furious at Lando for not letting her use the information as leverage.  But, as Lando says, he may deserve everything coming to him, but he's still a rebel.

Void Rivals #8:  The issue begins with Solila remembering her little brother, Polada.  He's scared, because they're obviously moments from entering an arena to fight.  He asks if their mother ever loved them, and Solila responds simply that their mother needed money and Zertonia needed warriors.  Polada says that he wants to go home, and Solila goads him into a fight to make sure he's ready for the bigger fight coming.

In the present, Solila is lost in thought, and Darak asks her if she's OK.  She responds that she realizes that Zalilak could send someone after them, and it's clear Polada is Proximus.  She dismisses the thought as "foolish, reckless," and Darak asks if she knows Zalilak to act recklessly.  She responds, "Maybe."  

Of course, she's correct, and Proximus arrives and makes short work of Darak.  Facing Solila, Proximus starts to recognize her, and Solila responds, "If only you could..."  Somehow, Handroid (I think) is able to create a blast that sends Proximus into the dust, and Darak finds a barely alive Solila staked on her spear.  It's...a lot.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The March 6 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars #44:  So much talking.

I mean, I get it.  After all, Admiral Ackbar, Princess Leia, General Madine, and Mon Mothma have a pretty interesting discussion about balancing the Rebellion's need to show they'll bring back justice to the Galaxy against the its need to punish treason to maintain discipline in the ranks.  Leia suggests a compromise:  a secret military tribunal comprised of Ackbar, Medine, and Mothma.  I don't really get how that helps her drive for transparency, though, given the implication they won't announce the verdict against Lando if he's found guilty.

Anyway, Lando appears almost suicidal in his conversation with Lobot, admitting that he's going to let them hang him for treason because he's committed so many crimes.  To his mind, the best crime he's committed is committing treason to save Lobot, so he might as well get his just desserts for that one.  But Lobot tells Lando that he's delusional if he thinks the Rebellion is just going to embrace him (Lobot) after Lando's death.  As such, he convinces Lando to call in Salli Georgio, as we saw in "Star Wars:  Revelations" #1.

Again, I get all the need for a lot of dialogue to let these events develop.  The problem is that I was already pretty tired of reading by the time we start the trial, which is the main event, after all.  

The good news is that Georgio is as great as she was in "Star Wars:  Revelations" #1.  First, she obviously has some ulterior motive for getting her droid to plug into the Rebellion's audio system to record the trial.  (It clearly isn't just that she doesn't like taking notes.)  Second, she's correct when she tells Lando the Rebellion has him dead to rights, so she has to convince the tribunal — somehow — that they don't care about the truth.  She hasn't figured out that part, so she's stalling, though Lando isn't wrong when he says her attempt to blame his actions on the Jedi Mind Trick (again) probably isn't going to work so well with this crowd.  

But Georgio gets her distraction when a group of Silverhawk-esque mercenaries break into the facility where Mothma is located (she's tele-participating in the trial) and kidnap her.  Or, as Georgia says, "Yep.  That'll work."

Finally, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention how great Lando looks in a beard — woof! — I didn't resurrect pet peeve #1 by pointing out that nothing in this issue has to do with Darth Vader or Han Solo, who both feature prominently on the cover.  With the scene set, I'm looking forward to seeing where Lando's trial goes.

Void Rivals #7:  And away we go.

Ten years ago, Darak worked as an "edgewalker," using a robotic exoskeleton to move crates for reasons that Kirkman doesn't explain.  Darak's foreman tells him and his colleagues to hustle, since the "bleeding edge" (of Agorria and the Wasteland) has so little gravity that any mistake could send them hurling off the Ring.  When a stack of crates falls onto one of Darak's colleagues, he springs into action, saving his colleague but sending himself into the Wastelands.  

In the present day, Handroid calculates Darak and Solila's trek across the Wasteland will take three months and notes they only have four to six weeks' worth of supplies.  However, Darak informs Handroid and Solila that he's been to the Wastelands before and saw something (what, we don't know, because we didn't see it when he looked upon the Wasteland earlier in the issue) that makes him believe they only need to last half that time.

Elsewhere, Zalilak appears, Darkseid-esque, in a room bathed in dark red light.  He informs the room's occupant, a young Zertonian studying a tablet, that an Agorrian has corrupted a Zertonian warrior and headed into the Wasteland.  Zalilak says the Zertonian is the only one brave enough to go after them, which the Zertonian questions.  The Zertonian wonders what could cause the panic in Zalilak's voice but then informs Zalilak that he's also read the sacred tests and guesses stopping the pair has something to do with preventing Goliant's coming.  

As such, he agrees to hunt the pair but ponders what Zalilak will do if he turns against him once his task is complete.  Zalilak is unconcerned, noting that their last confrontation was unpleasant and that the Zertonian seems happy in this room. 

After Zalilak alludes to the Zertonian's "current state,"  we discover that this conversation is happening inside the Zertonian's mind as his body is a Vader-esque rump filled with cybernetic implants.  Zalilak orders Guilan to free Proximus, and Guilan begs for Zerta's mercy as he does so.  After Proximus leaves for the hunt, Guilan falls to his knees, and Zalilak states that Proximus is simply a man, though the deadliest one of them.  

The issue ends with the creepy religious sisters we saw in previous issues meeting with their leader who informs them that Solila is on her calling's path and her destination approaches.

All in all, it's a pretty slow issue, as Kirkman is clearly just setting up the upcoming arc's events.  I'm OK with that, but it doesn't make this issue the most thrilling read.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The February 21 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Cobra Commander #2:  Ho boy, Williamson isn't fucking around here.

In the shack that we saw at the end of last issue, Dreadnoks Buzzer and Ripper threaten two guys they have tied to chairs, telling them that they'll give them a ride home if they dime out the buyer who had them traffic arms through Dreadnok territory.  When one of the men engages in bravado, Buzzer saws his head in half with a chainsaw.  (Yup.)  Not surprisingly, the other man squeals, telling the pair that they never learned the buyer's name, that he was just some "big dude with a flattop."  Buzzer tells the guy that they'll go meet their buyer, and they keep their end of the bargain when Ripper chains up the remaining man and then ties him to the back of their enormous vehicle, the "Thunder Machine."  It's...graphic.

Nearby, CC is with his escort, whom he calls Protector; in a flashback, Protector willingly submits to Pythona using a squid to change him, presumably so he can live on the surface to engage in his escort duties.  CC tries to ditch Protector to follow the "energy signature," and Protector exposits that Golobulus sent him to watch CC to ensure he doesn't get "distracted" in his quest for the Energon.  (Aha.)   As they squabble, a park ranger tells them that they don't have the necessary ID to be in this area, and CC sends Protector to kill him.  Williamson gives us another graphic sequence here as Protector shrugs off the ranger's shot and rips his arms from his body as he headbutts him, obliterating his head.

CC uses the moment to escape and finds the shack, where we can now see that various body parts are hanging from the ceiling.  CC realizes that the Dreadnoks are experimenting with Energon, but the source of it isn't in the shack.  The pair return, and CC demands the Energon from them, claiming that it belongs to him.  When they threaten him, he opens fire; when they joke they can handle him, he blows up the Thunder Machine.  CC runs into the woods with Buzzer and Ripper in hot pursuit, until Zarana arrives on her motorcycle and reminds them that they can't go into that part of the swamp.

Alone, CC finds the "power of transformation" in a pool.  Excited to harvest it and return to Cobra-La to take on the leadership role he so desires, CC is suddenly pulled under water by some pretty serious looking (and possibly Energon-ified) gators.

Beyond the graphic violence, which truthfully fits this series' theme, the most notable part about this issue is that CC really seems committed to Cobra-La.  Even in his conversation with himself, he's focused on providing his worth to Golobulus.  I wonder how that's going to end.

G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero #304:  Everyone is sizing up one another here.  After several "recce" missions, all three sides have a pretty good idea what the other side is planning.

Scarlett exposits that she and Snake-Eyes used tomato sauce from a meatball MRE as blood to fool Revanche into thinking they were dead.  (They developed that plan real fast if they managed to cover themselves with the sauce while the smoke literally cleared...)  Meanwhile, Airtight, Black Hat, and Mainframe arrive to pick up the modified Blue Ninjas' remains, and we (or, at least, I) learn that they're all androids.  

In Springfield, Dawn puts on her ninja gear and engages in recon for the Joes.  She wonders why Cobra is setting up heavy armor (by which I think she means artillery, since the image involves tanks not actual armor) since it would normally be on the tarmac if they were going to deploy it (presumably via cargo aircraft).  Dawn realizes that it's a defensive set-up and then overhears three enhanced mutant Vipers from Cobra Island as they plan to head to the community center to set up surveillance (and, apparently, eat some Vipers along the way).  

Dawn calls into the Pit, and Lady Jane puts two and two (the Sierras attack and Dawn's information) together and realizes why Revanche went to Cobra Island.  (I thought they already knew that it was to sell his "upgrade services," if you will, didn't they?)  Meanwhile, the Pit's perimeter alarm sounds, and the enhanced mutant Viper, Techno-Viper, and Toxo-Viper from last issue appear on the Joes' screens.  The Vipers scout out the three barracks on the grounds and report to Cobra Island that the beds are made even if the huts don't show signs of occupation.

On Cobra Island, Revanche and Dr. Mindbender prepare to turn the facility into a production line to create more enhanced Blue Ninjas and mutants as well as more mutant virus bombs and aerosolized virus devices.  The infiltration team in Springfield then contacts Cobra Island and broadcasts CC's speech at the community center where he's speaking to the Cobra faithful.  He informs the crowd that, rather than protecting Springfield, they're going to lure Revanche and Serpentor Khan's forces into a designated killing ground.  Only the upper echelon of Cobra's leadership will get the plans, of which only a third will be correct — only when the first shots are fired will CC reveal what the real plans are.  Mindbender orders one of the Vipers to capture three leaders once the attack starts so they can identify the plan.  (I don't get that, since how would they know who has which plan.  What happens if they capture three leaders with Plan C, but Plan A is the real plan?) 

On the chopper, Airtight, Black Hat, and Mainframe are discussing the task the latter has in front of him, namely reverse-engineering the Blue Ninjas, when suddenly the Ninjas all reactivate.  A fight ensures, and the Joes manage to subdue them (after Black Hat goes out the door with one of them to save Airtight, only for Airtight to save her).  We learn Wild Bill is flying the chopper when he appears and puts down the last Ninja.

In Springfield, the mutants discover and attack Dawn, who, they exposit, is Dr. Mindbender's failed attempt to duplicate Snake-Eyes.  (Um, OK.)  Dawn holds her own, and the mutants self-destruct themselves to make sure Revanche's technology doesn't fall into the Joes' hands.

Finally, in Scotland, our fourth contingent of actors enters the chat, as Zartan approaches Destro and the Baronness with news of the current events and an offer to put aside their differences for common benefit.

Star Wars #43:  Soule wraps up the story he started before the "Dark Droids" event, as Luke tries to get to the bottom of the mysterious Sith's pain.  

The Sith rebukes him for the attempt to learn about his pain and instead forced Luke to face the source of his pain:  Vader.  In confronting Vader, Luke echoes something that he previously mentioned to the Sith, that every path goes in two directions.  Here, he tells Vader that all the good that existed in him before his fall still exists, even if it's buried deep beneath the pain.  We then see a glowing outline of Anakin, and Soule makes it clear we're witnessing the moment where Luke decides he doesn't have to kill his father but save him.  

In so doing, Luke not only heals the kyber crystal but discovers his own crystal is now green.  It underscores the idea that Luke is becoming his own man, something that I think Soule is doing better in showing than the movies did.  I've felt like this second "Star Wars" series has dragged for quite a while, not really giving us all that much insight into the characters (unlike the first series).  But Soule really delivers something special here, and it's worth a read for all Luke fans. 

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The January 10 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Sacrificers #6:  Remender doesn't give us happy endings almost as a rule, but fuck me if he doesn't at least give us one to conclude this arc.

First things first, Soluna is alive but wizened.  The Foreman gloats over successfully luring her into his lair and tells her that free will is an illusion.  In the most Remender way possible, the Foreman gets his comeuppance when Pigeon bursts from the pipes and the elixir the Foreman created from Soluna's essence falls on him.  Pigeon helps Soluna to her feet as an enraged Foreman attacks him.  The pair tries to flee but falls through a trap outside the castle.  Pigeon opens his eyes to find Noom's skull and whispers to himself that she was his only friend.  He then hears a horn, which we see the Foreman's assistant blowing to send out the "Husks."  (This entire sequence is spectacular, not just because of Fiurama's amazing art but also due to Remender's propulsive script.)

Meanwhile, Rokus visits Luna on the Moon, where we see many versions of her arguing over which one gets to face the world.  Rokos tells Luna that their fighting is harming their daughter and reminds her that it was never his choice to separate.  Luna tells him that she will not participate in "this abomination."  Rokos screams at Luna that she participated in the ceremony for eons without a problem, and she tells him that she's simply acting on what they all know — it's time to turn over power to the next generation.  (Man, this theme is relevant this month!)  

Rokos says that the next generation isn't ready and rages when Luna criticizes what he's doing to his own people, since he believes that he's serving their every need.  He attacks her, and, when her other selves try to defend her, he destroys them.  He demands that she return with him to the palace, drink the elixir, and raise their daughter, but she tells him that she won't become something she hates to survive.  In a true Remember moment, Rokos kills her, saying that she will never eclipse him again.  I mean, wow.  I think I stopped breathing at some point here it was so intense.

In a tangled forest of vines, Pigeon tries to carry Soluna but can't.  They fall into a poisonous bog, and Soluna says that she won't run — she's going to wait for Luna to save her.  When Pigeons asks why Luna would do that, she tells him that Luna is her mother.  Pigeon is stunned that she's "one of them" while Soluna rails at the moon, which turns to face her and then disappears.

The Husks arrive and attack, and Pigeon tells Soluna to stand.  She says that she no longer has a reason to do so, and Pigeon uses newfound powers to rip the Husks to shreds.  While he marvels at what he did, Soluna attacks him, realizing that he has her powers.  She demands that he return her powers or she'll do...something, but Pigeon hurls her to the ground before she can finish that threat.  In a spectacular moment, he looks on her with a face full of determination and strength (thanks to Fiurama) and tells her that she'll do nothing.  

Telling Pigeon that she's lost everything, Soluna demands he help her.  He tells her that people helped her for her entire life and the only way to help her now is to leave her on her own.  She pledges her family will reward him, and he tells her that her family murdered his best friend so he's going to reward them.

Ha!  Again, I worry for Pigeon, but right now?  I'm going to gloat in the comeuppance that he's set to bring.

Star Wars #42:  This issue is interesting for a number reasons, in no small part because it really delves into Jedi lore.  But Soule goes further, as Gretta's feelings for Luke become clear in a way that we usually don't see in "Star Wars."

The issue begins with Luke tracking down Gretta, revealing that Artoo ("Star Wars'" true hero) tracked her telemetry after they last met and they've been visiting her potential destinations since the Scourge's threat ended.  Luke tells Gretta that he wants to enter the red khyber crystal again so that he can get more experience confronting Sith, since he knows that he'll have to face the Sith one day.

Barging into the room, Gretta's Auntie Feez tells Luke that she's Force-sensitive but didn't become a Jedi because it's a path for obsessives.  (She isn't wrong.)  Feez tells Luke that she taught Gretta everything she knew about the ritual they tried last time but hasn't told her everything she knows.  (She never really addresses why she didn't, which seems selfish given the fact the Fallanassi are virtually extinct.)  Feez agrees to help Luke, given he helped Gretta.  Luke exposits that he feels like if he can cure the crystal, he can bring a Sith back to the light as well.  (Aha!)

Feez explains that 1) each crystal is unique because each Sith's pain is unique and 2) pain tends to pull in everyone around it so it's possible to get lost in the crystal.  To bring the crystal to the light again, Luke will have to travel through the owner's memories, which are embedded in the crystal.  Luke leaves, and Feez teases Gretta about how Luke is only interested in the Force, unlike most boys his age.  Feez is worried about breaking the law and helping a Jedi, but she agrees with Gretta's assessment that Luke seems lonely and has kind eyes.

At a ritual that night, Feez guides Luke into the crystal, where he once again encounters the Sith that he first saw.  The Sith's guards make quick work of him and throw Luke in the dungeon.  The Sith expresses surprise, though, that Luke is clean and has a lightsaber, explaining that the last Jedi in his (I think) court was a jester until he committed suicide.  The Sith then expresses skepticism that a Jedi could "heal" him since they couldn't even save themselves.

In other words, this period isn't great for a Jedi, which is definitely intriguing.  Soule seems ready to tell a story that he really wants to tell, so I'm here for it.

Transformers #4:  Ho boy.

With Starscream in hot pursuit, Optimus radioes Ratchet to tell him that he's taken major damage and Spike is hurt.  Ratchet apologizes to Wheeljack's prone form, telling him that they need firepower.  In a fantastic sequence, Starscream lands in front of Optimus and hovers over him menacingly.  Johnson then changes the perspective to Carly, as she sees Starscream through Cliffjumper's windshield.  Carly tells Cliffjumper to, "Get his ass.", and Cliffjumper rams Starscream, throwing him to the ground.  Optimus then takes the chance to drive over him.  Ha!  Starscream calls Soundwave for backup as Optimus and Cliffjumper speed away.

The team arrives at the hospital, and Sparky runs to the awaiting doctors carrying Spike.  Laserbeak arrives, and Cliffjumper and Optimus cover the hospital staff as Laserbeak opens fire.  Rumble takes down Cliffjumper as Soundwave arrives in all his glory, with a kick to Optimus' face.  Starscream arrives and tells Soundwave to halt, noting, with joy in his voice, the hospital is where they "fix the squishy ones."  He rants that he can't believe Optimus would bring the "ants" to "get repaired."  To exacerbate Optimus' suffering, Starscream opens fire on the hospital, taking out the generator and delaying Spike's surgery.

Soundwave warns Starscream they've got incoming Autobots, and Cliffjumper gives us his best, "All right!!!" as Jazz speeds at the Decepticons.  Jazz transforms and launches a rocket at Stascream's head and then slides under Soundwave.  Regrouping, the four Autobots face the four Decepticons, who flee.  

In yet another amazing scene, Optimus later watches Spike's prone form from a hole in the hospital's ceiling, and  we learn that, without power, the doctors can't keep Spike, or several other patients, alive.  Sparky cries over his "beautiful boy," which hit the dad in me in the feels.  It also hit Optimus in the feels, since he opens his chasis and uses the Matrix to power the hospital.  Ratchet tries to stop him, but Optimus says, "No more death[,] even if it comes at a price."  One of the nurses says "Oh, thank God," and one of the doctors replies, "Not God...thank...metal?"

At the Ark, Soundwave criticizes Starscream for his lack of a plan and focus only on destruction.  Starscream demands repairs, but Soundwave notes that the materials they need only exist in Cybertronian technology.  He and Starscream then look at a still-wounded Skywarp who screams, "What are you doing?  Brothers?", as they rip him to shreds.  (It's interesting he calls them 'brothers," a term of endearment I wouldn't associate with Decepticons."

At the hospital, Sparky tells Spike's comatose body that, after the war, he moved him and his brother to Farmington so he could protect them from where he was raised, another reminder of how grim Sparky's life sounds like it was.  He tells Spike that he couldn't see the good in the world after the war and his brother's death.  He says his depression (though he doesn't call it that) is like a sickness that spreads to the ones he loves the most and contemplates how he doesn't have Spike there to remind him of the good.  

From the courtyard, he overhears a young patient on an IV ask Optimus to transform, which he does, delighting the boy.  Sparky asks Optimus if he saved Spike and, if he did, could he do it again as Spike is in a coma.  Optimus explains that the Matrix is now empty so what happens now "is up to the Great Spark."  

In the hospital, Ratchet tells Optimus he's fixed the generator and then reminds him that they need him.  He knows the Matrix, when empty, drains its host, and he's worried Optimus chose to save Spike instead of fix himself.  Optimus calls the humans innocent, and Ratchet disagrees, noting they're prone to destruction, as they're the ones who shot Spike.  Optimus comments, "Just like us."

Jazz collapses, and Ratchet explains that he pooled all their energon to get him going.  Ratchet makes the point that they all die if Optimus dies and then they won't be there to protect the humans from the Decepticons.  (Fair enough, Ratchet.)  Ratchet suggests they use something in Optimus' trailer to even the score, as they're the last of their kind, "fighting for survival."  Optimus balks and, before we see what it is, Sparky arrives, telling them that he has an idea about their energy problem.

Inside Carly's broken house, Cliffjumper attempts to console her, telling her that Starscream killed his clan and he joined the war the next day.  Carly cries and asks Cliffjumper if the feeling ever stops, and he simply comments, "Oh, Carly."  It's an incredibly moving moment, an example of why this series is so engaging.  At this point, Optimus arrives, with Megatron's cannon (clearly the item in his trailer) on his arm, asking them if they're ready to go on the offensive.  Fuck, yes!

Meanwhile, Starscream drags Decepticon bodies that he's raided to a pile, gloating that he's the Deception leader, "Today!  Tomorrow!  Forever!"  Putting some doubt on that, we end with a panel of Megatron on ice somewhere else.

In other words, man, I love this series.

Seven-Month-Old Comics: The December 27 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars:  Dark Droids #5:  First, I just realized that the hybroid I didn't recognize is Tolvan, who I admit is one of the few characters I miss from "Doctor Aphra."

Soule wraps up things fairly neatly here, as Ajax kills the Scourge just as he manages to take over organics.  I *think* he's able to take over all organics when he takes over Luke and thus gains access to the Force for the first time.  (I guess Vader never let him access it when they merged in "Star Wars:  Darth Vader" #40?)  The Scourge is contemplating becoming the new Force by now taking over non-sentient creatures when Ajax stabs him.

With the Scourge gone, Ajax invites the new D-Squad to join him at the Second Revelation, though they all demur.  Disturbingly, he re-activates the Spark Eternal and revises his revelations:  the third revelation becomes about "them" and the fourth one is now "all."  I still don't totally understand the Spark Eternal business, but it seems like Ajax is going to become the threat that Triple Zero warns him not to become when they parted.

Overall, "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" was an OK event.  I still feel like Soule could've done a better job giving us more information about the intelligence that became the Scourge, particularly since he once again makes it clear here that he and the Spark Eternal are two separate entities.  Ajax only seems to resurrect the Spark Eternal, so is the Scourge - or, at least, the intelligence that joined the Spark Eternal to become the Scourge - truly dead?  If I understood more about his nature, I think I'd have a better grasp on that.

Honestly, I think it's getting to the point where we need to end this interlude between "Star Wars:  The Empire Strikes Back" and "Star Wars:  Return of the Jedi" and plunge into the unknown.  Between this event and the much less enjoyable "Star Wars:  Hidden Empire," it's feel like we're spinning our wheels.

Star Wars #41:  They're not kidding when they say you should read "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" #5 first!

The first few pages more or less mirror what we saw in that issue, as Chewie, Lando, Leia, and Luke fight off the Scourge's minions.  Once the possession ends (after Ajax kills the Scourge), Lando finds Lobot, whose condition has deteriorated.  Leia and Luke stay to help all the humans suddenly freed from the Scourge's control, and Lando has Chewie carry Lobot to the Falcon.  He asks Chewie to keep secret what he's going to show him until after Lobot is healed and then reveals the Talky.

But Lando's plan goes screwy when Leia and Luke arrive, informing him that the authorities had everything under control.  (Heh.  You almost never see that in comics, and I laughed out loud.  "We're good, heroes, thanks!")  The Talky refuses to heal Lobot until he's sure Lando really does care about him (since, if he does, he'd keep the Talky alive in case Lobot falls ill again).  To prove his connection to Lobot, Lando confesses everything to Chewie, Leia, and Luke.  

But he does so after he tries a different story.  He stops himself and tells the truth:  he agreed to spy on the Alliance to save himself from Jabba and, because he never actually passed along information, he sent Jabba the Talky as a way to save himself again.  But Lando goes one step further, confessing that he stayed with the Alliance to build up the trust he needed them to have in him so that he could take the Falcon and retrieve the Talky.

The gambit works, and the Talky fixes Lobot, who's capable of speech again.  It's pretty unbelievable.  Lando admits to Lobot that he decided to try out the new Lando that he's just getting to know.  Of course, he might not get a chance, since Leia arrives with guards to arrest him, announcing the penalty of treason is death!

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #41:  Like all the best cross-over issues, Pak uses the event to tease out truths about Vader here and advance the series' existing plot.  

First things first, Vader doesn't surrender himself to the Scourge:  he captures the Scourge's consciousness within a closed-loop system in his suit, studying him so he can replicate his ability to control droids.  (It's why, as mentioned above, the Scourge didn't get access to the Force until he possessed Luke in "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" #5.)  When an Imperial unit arrives to take in Vader (Ha!) for attempting to assassinate the Emperor, Vader uses this control to see through his droids' eyes and use the Force on anyone in his now-expanded visual range.

But the Scourge is right that Vader can't process nearly the number of consciousnesses that he (the Scourge) can, and Vader struggles under the weight of this control.  Vader takes out the droids attacking him, and the Scourge presumably dies in "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" #5 before he can send more after him.  The issue ends with the revelation of the "Schism Imperial," a trio of three Imperial officials, including the Umbaran, who clearly seek to overthrow Palpatine.

As I said, it was fun to see Vader pull a fast one on the Scourge, a reminder of his resourcefulness that we haven't seen here lately.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The November 1 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

No/One #6:  Honestly, if No/One hadn't saved Julia last episode, I'd think she was No/One at this point.

After all, we learn here that No/One isn't any of the three suspects The Drop named last issue, because Copycat #3 shoots Harmon, kills Kemp, and attacks Alejandro.  

In other words, it's a lot.

The issue begins at PPD HQ, where Ben is trying to convince McGarrity to give him a couple of men to surveil Aaron because he can't keep him under 24/7 watch by himself.  McGarrity declines because it's too political, which seems bullshit to me, particularly for a guy who was so eager to nail Aaron to the wall.  Frustrated, Ben talks to Harper and Singh, who tell him they have no evidence connecting Aaron to his lawyer's murder.  Suddenly, a cop interrupts, and we learn Copycat #3 shot Harmon.

At the Ledger, Teddy finds Julia trying to get in touch with Donovan Kemp and Alejandro, though Teddy assures her that he's already spoken with people about getting them protection.  Ben arrives and asks why they named Vince a suspect, and Teddy is a dick to him, saying that he doesn't have time to hold his hand.  Ben insists Aaron could've been the shooter, revealing that he's tailed Aaron for weeks but lost him the previous day.

At Noah Kemp's office, his staff are trying to convince him to pull his proposed legislation authorizing "preemptive" self-defense.  One of the staffers, though, shows everyone a clip from Alaina Page's show.  (Her show starts with this introduction:  "Welcome back to the Wall.  Reporting from the parapets, I'm Alaina Page."  Amazing.)  Page comes out swinging for Kemp's bill and then crucifies Kenneth Chbosky, whom FOC hired as a contributor.  (The live reenactment of their fight on the podcast is worth a listen.)  Suddenly, someone interrupts Kemp's meeting to inform him what we learn on the next page, that someone killed Donovan.

With two suspects dead, fucking JC arrives to "touch base" with Julia.  She asks where Alejandro is, and JC admits they can't find him.  She loses her shit on Teddy and JC, who has the audacity to tell her to relax.  She quits.

At Alejandro's gym, Copycat #3 is ready to kill Alejandro when No/One arrives.  No/One tells Alejandro to run, which he does, but he then returns.  He finds the gym in shambles and a wounded No/One.  Alejandro brings No/One to No/One's car and drives from the scene as cops arrive.  No/One loses consciousness, and Alejandro may, or may not, have gotten a look under the helmet.  No/One tells Alejandro to leave, which he does.

On the podcast, the only new revelation is that Harmon survived the shooting and confirmed the assailant used a .38 Special, which means it's Richard Roe and, as such, not Aaron Kern (allegedly).  Of note, Alejandro doesn't admit to the press that No/One got shot.  To me, the most important part is Noah Kemp's tear-filled rant about how the vultures in the press - i.e., Julia and Teddy - are responsible for his little brother's murder.  It's important, because it reminds us that we're dealing with (in this world) real people and the body count is pretty insane right now.  In addition, Patton Oswalt does a great job of walking through Teddy's grief over how his failure to say no to the Ledger's Powers That Be resulted in Julia getting blamed for Copycat #3's attacks on Harmon, Donovan Kemp, and Alejandro.

Honestly, I have no idea where we go from here, which is awesome.

The Sacrificers #4:  This issue is more linear than Remender's usual ones.

Pigeon's grief-stricken parents are sitting quietly as the village - including their other children - celebrates around them.  Pigeon's sister asks her father why he's sad, which makes sense given he always told her Pigeon was going to a better place.  The father later gets drunk and rants at his fellow villagers, asking why they celebrate the loss of a child and demanding to know what the gods sacrifice.  It's devastating.

Meanwhile, in Rokos' palace, the Foreman tells Rokos that the blue liquid is his finest work, brewed from a new recipe.  (Uh-oh.)  Rokos ignores him and asserts that it's the same recipe it's also been when he addresses the "Lords of Harlos."  Notably, he claims he made the liquid and invites the other Lords to partake of it, delivering the same pablum that they've earned it for keeping the world "perfect."  He invites a toast to Luna who "lives apart from [them] to balance [his] light with night."  Luna refuses the liquid, decrying the Lords as parasites feasting on innocents' blood and smashing her glass to the floor.  (Team Luna, obviously.)

After Luna leaves, Rokos ridicules her for "crumbling in her gray land of pious dust."  He and the rest of the Lords drink the liquid, instantly becoming younger, to Soluna's horror.  Fueling the implication the Foreman did something to the liquid, he departs in a rush, and Soluna follows him on Rokos' flying carpet, taking Rokos' sword with her.  Again, uh-oh.

The Space Between #1:  Bechko and Luckert present an interesting premise here, as we meet the inhabitants of the Dodona, an asteroid-cum-starship taking Earth's remaining humans (and some animals) to a new planet after Earth's destruction.

We begin with Revla, a pilot, saving another pilot from crashing into the Dodona despite her commander's order not to do so.  Revla exposits that it doesn't matter if the Dodona's brass court-martial her, since they're set to "pair" her soon and she doesn't think they'll let her fly pregnant.  

For her actions, "they" put her in confinement, but she escapes below the "starline," which refers to line on the Dodona below which you can no longer see the stars.  Now below decks, Revla meets Les, one of the workers who maintain the algae the Dodona uses for food and oxygen.  Like Rose in "Titanic," Revla is stunned to see the number of people living below the line, making it clear the two sides of the line don't mix.

Also like "Titanic," the glimpses we see of the inhabitants above the line (i.e., the pilot class) show a brutal society of competitors whereas the workers below the line (i.e., the maintenance class) live in a communist Utopia.  For example, Revla is worried Les is going to turn her into the authorities for a reward, and he breaks it to her that they don't have credits below the line.

Les introduces Revla to his "purposive" June and her partner Neve who asks whether it's really true that the inhabitants above the line are nothing but breeding pairs.  Revla makes a half-hearted attempt to defend her culture as fighting for the future, and Neve asks why everyone is sacrificing for a future on a round rock instead of the present on an oblong one?  Fair enough, Neve.

Les figures out a way to get Revla topside, and she brings him with her to see the stars, which he admits his parents and grandparents likely never saw.  (Ah, inequality.  It's baked into us.)  The pair kiss, but suddenly guards appear and seize them.  As a crowd "'casts" (i.e., broadcasts) their arrest, someone comments how they didn't even know the workers were real.  

Revla now realizes the Dodona's leadership has put in place restrictions well beyond the original "Edicts" establishing, "To every passenger, a duty."  She 'casts a message to this effect, which starts an uprising below the line.  Les helps when a reporter interviews him and talks about saving the most beautiful woman alive when she fell from the stars.

We then move briskly through four years, as the ongoing uprising forces the Council to listen.  After four years, they release Les from prison.  He brings June and Neve with their new baby, which they can now have, to see the stars with Revla flying amongst them.

As I said, it's an interesting premise.  The execution is also pretty solid, so I'm intrigued to see where it goes.

Star Wars #40:  Oof.  This issue is excessively talky.  

We go on deep dives into Lando's psyche, but the issue is really just about him returning to Home One to convince Leia to send a small strike force (him, her, Chewie, and Luke) to Epikonia to free Lobot.  (Lando knows Lobot is on Epikonia because he has a tracker on him.)  Lando doesn't mention the fact that he has the Talky to Leia, so I wonder where he stashed him?  Is he stupid enough to bring him on the Falcon with him?  Probably.

The only real action, though, is a strange sequence where Lando turns off the Falcon's navicomputer because a droid core runs it and crashes into a cluster of communications arrays to slow down the Falcon enough to land.  Can he really not control the Falcon without the navicomputer?

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The October 18 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

From the World of Minor Threats:  The Alternates #2:  Enh.  

This issue is better than the first one as the plot comes into focus.   Kid Curious realizes the "Prestige" drug all the kids are taking is somehow small liquefied doses of the Ledge, and the Persona discovers someone used black magic to turn one of the Divider's clones into his alleged fiancée.  (I can't remember why it's significant, but I'm assuming we'll learn at some point.)  After Crab Louie overhears his daughter agreeing to meet her boyfriend at a club where they can get their hands on some Prestige, the team follows her.  Once they identify her supplier, they follow him to see who's supplying him.  

All that said, I still find myself not particularly caring.  I don't know why exactly, but there you have it.

Coda #2:  This issue is nonsensical.

We begin with a group of creatures that look like a mix between goblins and mice offering a helmet, called the Embetterment Artifice, to their elder, Constructor Krocklamesh.  (Yeah...)  Krocklamesh allegedly worked on this helmet for 12 years, and the creatures are apparently members of Clan Oblique who want to bring peace and security across the world.  A large pink-skinned woman informs the group she'll accompany them because they need someone to keep them on the straight and narrow.

Elsewhere, Hum narrates this story to "Little Gap," opining that, when he (or she or it) encounters "one of these seductive promises I've been yammering on about -- big changes, brave new starts, etc.," he (or she or it) should make sure they've got "some other guiding light already in place."  Sure, whatever.

Hum informs us "Little Gap" is the "tiniest trace of absence, to make the rest of [his] quiet life moving forward."  Meanwhile, Hum is in a prison in Gorepit, where a solider informs him that the Gorepitians reject all the "old world's" traces, like magic and royalty.  That said, an important-seeming, tow-haired boy follows a Gorepitian official down a large exterior staircase.  It took me several readings to understand that someone named Mildew the Breaker bought the kid in a slave market and presented him to Gorepit as the son that its king lost during the Quench.  Apparently, the "scion's" absence sparked a cult, and Mildew is clearly trying to profit from that.

The official and scion join the soldier and the prisoners (including Hum) at the Place of Death, though the solider, to Hum's surprise, simply exiles Hum, the "scion," and "all members of this foolish little sect."  But the solider orders Nag's death, as he represents the "nonsensical old ways."  

I still can't entirely figure out Hum's involvement in this scam.  After all, I first thought he was in prison in Ridgetown, since, when last we left him, he discovered that Ridgetown creates akker by harvesting the blood of th least elf.  But we never get an explanation of how he's suddenly in Gorepit, and we also don't get an explanation of how he and Nag come to be connect, at least tangentially, to Mildew's scam.

At any rate, Hum proclaims Nag is only there because unicorns have to obey virgins and the "scion" sees him as a "sacred symbol" and part of some sort of prophecy.  The soldier is unmoved and orders the firing squad to open fire.  But the scion runs in front of the squad, taking bullets for Nag, which prompts Nag to go on a rampage. 

Meanwhile, the pink-skinned woman arrives at Gorepit with Clan Oblique.  While she's been killing raiders (of what sort, we're not told), the creatures have amassed a following telling people that they're going to liberate food from said raiders.  Once at Gorepit, the woman exposits that her husband does their shopping in Gorepit, making it clear that she's Serka.  (Isn't someone holding her hostage?  I guess not?)  Upon Clan Oblique's arrival, the soldier (I think) declares them all inhuman marauders come to "despoil and scavenge in our moment of weakness!"  (The "weakness" is presumably the aftermath of Nag's rampage, but I'm not sure.)  Anyway, Gorepit's soldiers engage Clan Oblique as Serka tries to stop them.

Standing over the dying soldier's body, Serka shows him a badge they took off a thief in the wilderness, and the soldier tells her that it's a badge of a customs agent meant to collect a small tithe from merchants.  (Didn't Hum already kill this guy last issue?)  One of the people following Clan Oblique gets nervous, informing Serka that the "thief's" crime was imposing a tithe "all because a few little barrels of siren berries were rotten."  (I guess he was an actual customs agent then and not Hum's thief?)  Disgusted, Serka asks a Gorepitian about why Gorepit isn't as rich as she thought, and the woman responds that "some weirdo in a hood bewitched the workers [who] cleared out the food stores 'n followed him into the desert[,] all because that lot shot some dumb little kid."  (How much time has passed here, exactly?  Mildew had enough time after the squad killed the kid to stir up a revolution?  Are they the "raiders" stealing the food?)

At least enough time has passed for us to find Hum fishing at a red lake when he hears a voice, in italics text, announce to a caravan arriving at the "Crimson Mire!  where perished the last kings of High Chivaris."  Hum watches as the cult's leader (presumably Mildew) reinterprets the prophecy, noting that "dozens" of them saw "a light" the instant the scion died, marking the "coronation of a new god."  Since the "prophecy" said the scion would found a new kingdom, they now declare that they're a new nation.

Rushing to a caravan, Hum calls for Mildew as he opens the doors.  He's disgusted by the sight of a creature with many bubbles of tadpole-like creatures in her stomach, and Mildew informs him the creature is a "sprigmother."  Mildew orders a worker to spread spawn within a thirty-mile radius so they can declare a miracle to eliminate all doubts about "the prophecy."  One of Mildew's thugs, named Mr. Kroti, ejects Hum on Mildew's orders, and Hum watches in dismay as the cult members set up camp on his land.  Hum ponders where he heard the name "Mr. Kroti" before when Serka arrives.

After they kiss, Hum immediately asks Serka if she's pregnant, and I'm guessing "Little Gap" is their unborn child.  Serka then realizes Mildew is the hooded cult leader Clan Oblique is chasing and tells Hum to get down.

In other words, I really have no fucking idea what's happening here.  Normally I'd hang in there since I think it's only a five-issue series, but I've got 300+ issues to read so I'm done.

Kill Your Darlings #2:  Holy shit, this issue, you guys.

In 1700, a group of men burst into a cabin where a coven of witches is meeting.  They kill all the witches save one, who they find hiding under the floorboards.  Calling her "the girl who wouldn't burn," it seems clear she's the girl from last issue.  Screaming, "we were supposed to be safe here!!!", she uses vines to kill the men.

In 1995, Rose clutches Wallace in the back of a police car.  

Fast-forwarding to 2003, Rose is in the Anderson Center, a place for troubled teens.  She wound up there when the "foster care system proved...problematic" for her, as the creepy Dr. Jacobs mentions to two parents who are there about their son.  The mother physically recoils from Rose, and Jacobs alludes to the "media blizzard around the...well, the nastiness with the fire in Valley Oaks."  Meanwhile, all the other students whisper about Rose burning her mother alive.

The only bright spot for Rose is Elliott's visits.  Elliott remains in a rough place as his mother is bed-ridden and his father is completely disconnected from them.  Elliott's a stand-up dude:  he's not only visiting Rose but tells her about how he's maintaining his mom's garden since it makes her happy.  Elliott apologizes for talking about his mom, and Rose quips that she killed hers.  Elliott chastises her, but Rose confesses that everyone's whispered about her for years and she still doesn't have a better explanation other than that she was the one who set the fire.  Before confirming they'll meet at the back exit at the usual time, Elliott pulls out Beat-em-Beasts for them to play, and one of Rose's cards depicts elephant-like "The Eternal Warrior."

That night, Rose's new roommate screams when she sees Rose sneaking to meet Elliott, but before she can raise the alarm the sprinklers start.  Rose runs into the hallway to see an arrow through the fire alarm, and several guards make chase.  She rounds the corner to find...Wallace!  He uses sleeping arrows to take out the guards and leads Rose to the exit as she ponders whether she's lost her mind.  We get the first hint that she hasn't when Dr. Jacobs finds one of the guards with a blow dart in his neck.  

Outside, Rose and Wallace escape over the fence and find Elliott.  Rose is thrilled to learn Elliott can see the "little elephant man" (Wallace corrects him with "elopig."). Wallace explains that the Kingdom of Rosewood is in danger.  Rose tells him that she can't return because that "thing" almost killer her, but Wallace tells her that it's been killing them ever since she left.  Wallace tells Rose she could create life where there once wasn't any, and Rose brightens.  He then leads them to the gate to Rosewood.

I was meh on the first issue of this series, but Parker and Sheridan wisely don't drag out the mystery, instead confirming here that Rosewood was real.  I'm excited to see where we go from here.

Local Man #6:  This series is starting to get repetitive, as Jack has to face another unhinged nut job coming after him.  

This time, it's an armed kid with #Truth written in tape on his flack jacket who opens fire in Inga's diner.  His goal is to kill "Local Man," because he somehow knows that Jack killed Camo Crusader.  Brian later tells Jack the only people who knew about Crusader were Inga and Kopecki, who winds up killing the kid to end his rampage.  Interestingly, Kopecki knew the kid, since the kid went to church with Kopecki's aunt, so I think it might be possible Kopecki is part of the same crowd as the kid.  That said, Inga suspects her investors though they deny it, leaving open the question how the kid knew.

Meanwhile, Brian asks Jack to speak to a group of hippies called the Star Tribe.  They're camping in a nearby park, and they don't like cops, obviously.  But a 16 year old girl who Inga knew through the Future Forum wound up drowned, and the Tribe apparently harbors known criminals so Brian wants some information.  Jack agrees, but the creepy Swamp Thing-esque creature who follows him implies the Tribe probably didn't do it.

At some point, you start to wonder why Third Gen doesn't let Jack leave Farmingham, since the attention that he's bringing probably isn't doing them any favors.

Star Wars #39:  Oof, this issue.  Soule really puts Lando (and us) through the emotional ringer.

The Talky manages to knock the rancor unconscious long enough for him, Lando, and Lobot to escape the pit.  But he warns Lando that they've got to bolt, as Jabba the Hutt is on his sail barge and will return at some point.  As the Talky navigates Jabba's palace to get them to a secret exit, Scourge-controlled droids surprise them and grab Lobot.  The Talky assumed they wanted him, but, as we know from the main series, the Scourge wanted Lobot given his hybroid status.  Lando and the Talky eventually find Lobot, only for the Scourge to inform Lando that he now controls Lobot.  "Lobot" departs with the other droids as Jabba returns, his men's guns a-blazin', and Lando brings the Talky to the Millennium Falcon and pledges to save Lobot.

But Lobot's isn't the only friendship Lando is forced to consider here, as he stands before Han before he bolts with the Talky and Lobot.  He (correctly) realizes that he and Lobot don't have time to free Han, since he'll be weak and potentially blind.  I initially judged Lando for that, but, when he made that argument, I realized that he was right.  But it means Lando failed not one but two friends here, and Soule makes it clear that Lando knows that.

The chips are down, and, knowing Lando, he's going to double down.  It'll be fun to watch.

Subgenre #1:  I like Kindt, and he does something interesting here.  

A hard-boiled detective named Verge (which isn't a very "hard-boiled" name) gets hired by his world's Disney (Decipher Comics) to investigate the murder of several blue-skinned monks from a cult called "I.P. Agents" at their HQ.  Verge himself tangled with a similar monk earlier in the day, though he seemed to think he was his landlord?  It was weird.  The man's blue skin definitely didn't seem to both him.

Deciper sends him to meet a woman who explains she caused a scene at Decipher several days earlier when she learned they used an AI to write the book she had just read and loved.  (I'm still not sure why causing a disruption makes Decipher seemingly want to pin murders on her, as I think they're trying to do here?)  She insists on accompanying Verge to the I.P. Agents' sanctum sanctorum, since she wants to see their rare-book collection, since they apparently are buying all such books.  

At the library, the monks' leader appears, and his monks attack Verge.  He says they're particularly interested in Verge and strikes him in the head with a baton that sends him into a new Roman body, where he again faces the blue-skinned monks.

It's weird, and I kind of like it.  I initially wasn't inclined to hang in there, but, re-reading this post, I think I will.

Nine-Month-Old Comics!: The August 30 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Hunger and the Dusk #2:  Willow is forced into exposition once again here, but she handles it beautifully as it emerges from dialogue that feels natural.  The issue is essentially about two couples of strangers getting to know each other.

In the Fading Hills to the North, Callum introduces Tara to some of the Last Men Standing, namely Sev the bard, Nera the warrior, Mikil the rogue, Conwy the archer, and Loris the lover.  (Theran, Jov, Sal, Brudo, and Vikandim are clearly the red shirts.). As they march, Sev confides to Callum that all the songs he knows involves orcs doing terrible things (which won't work with Tara on the team), a sign of how deep the distrust between humans and orcs run.

Meanwhile, Troth and Faran are on their wedding hunt.  Troth acknowledges he isn't the groom he should be, as they're only marrying to unify the Stoneback and Icemane dynasties.  Faran is understanding, confirming that everyone knows that Troth wanted to marry Tara.  In their tent that night, Faran notes that all their futures rely on new alliances:  between dynasties, between races.  

Faran then hears wolves, so they get moving.  (She complains that they should've followed the wedding hunt of her lowland people, where they could be in the South, "where it's already warm, feasting on giant turtle flesh."  Troth takes out a wolf, but its mate is ready to pounce on him when Faran saves him.  She worries she did something wrong in saving him until he embraces her.  At their wedding at the Silent Shore, the priest invokes the twins the orcs often mention, Ugrim and Uma, who apparently wed each other.

On the West Coast, the Last Men stumble upon Vangols on the beach, and Callum develops a plan.  Tara is shocked he's contemplating attacking them, since an orc overlord wouldn't even imagine trying with less than half a "dynasty" of warriors.   As they return to camp, Tara mentions she should write down these moments, which prompts Callum to tell her he can't read.  

Willow uses this revelation to tease out their respective histories.  Callum tells Tara that a raider from the Barren Lands raped his mother when they attacked her farm and comments that a "bastard born of a war crime" wasn't worth teaching.  He  observes that his last name, Battlechild, is what kids like him - at least, the ones not left for wolves - are named.  Tara confides that she knows what it's like not to be wanted, which surprises Callum since she's the daughter of a powerful orc dynasty.  It turns out Tara's mother was an overlord, but she (Tara's mother) and Tara's father were killed during the first Vangol raid.  The people blamed them - and thus Tara - for not protecting them.  It meant Troth couldn't marry her, since alliances are so important right now.

At this point, the shit hits the fan.  The Vangols are somehow now coming from the East.  Callum leaves Loris to protect Tara and helps the team holds off the Vangols, but Tara calls for help.  Callum and the Last Men arrive to learn the Vangols killed Loris.  It's clear the Last Men are going to believe Tara killed her or at least question why she wasn't able to use her powers to save her, so, oof.

Star Wars #38:  This issue unfolds mostly as you'd expect.  For someone who believes in luck, Lando gets a mixed hand.  He and Lobot arrive at Jabba's Palace just after the Scourge has taken over almost all the droids, significantly increasingly the difficulty of the mission.  Thankfully, the Talky has evaded the Scourge's efforts to assimilate him (which it desperately wants to do given his 1,000 year knowledge) and agrees to cure Lobot if Lando frees him.  But that  mixed hand is evident given Lando has this conversation with the Talky in the rancor pit, where he's hiding.  The rancor looks hungry, too...

Also Read:  IDW Endless Summer: Dungeons & Dragons – Saturday Morning Adventures #1