Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The April 24 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dawnrunner #2:  The art in this series is beautiful except, ironically, for the battle sequences, which are almost impossible to follow.

The day after Dawnrunner's debut, Anita meets with her daughter, Annie, while wearing a Hazmat suit.  Eventually, other people in Hazmat suits approach and tell Anita that it's time for Annie to return to the "hypo-u," because they can't risk exposure anymore.  I initially thought they were protecting Annie from Anita, but then Anita leaves the facility without a Hazmat suit.  Outside, she finds Lestern in his car, and he offers her a ride to campus.  He asks about Annie, and Anita exposits that Annie has a disease that tricks her body into attacking itself and that it likely came from the Tetza.

But Anita sees through Lestern's fake concern and asks why he's there.  He tells her they lost contact with her for four minutes and eighteen seconds, and the world came close to losing its shit during that time.  In a flashback, Anita recalls that she was unable to control Dawnrunner while stuck in Ichiro's memories and the Tetza was winning.  Then Ichiro jumpstarted a car in his memories and, when the engine sparked, it awakened Anita and she brutally took down the Tetza.  But, when Lestern again prompts her to tell him what happened during the time they lost contact, she simply responds that it's his people's responsibility to find out what happened.

At the lab, Cat tells Anita that Lestern has managed to turn the debacle into a PR success, telling the people that Anita is so good she put on a bit of a show for everyone.  Anita tells Cat that she can't really remember anything, just flashes of "things, faces, images."  Then, Cat drops the bomb:  the Dawnrunner's innovation is that Cordonware has been preserving the brains of deceased combatants since the Tetza arrived and it used Ichiro's mind as Dawnrunner's processors, reducing the lag between the human pilot initiating an action and the IK undertaking it.  Anita asks if she can enter Dawnrunner again, just to connect to the neural link with Ichiro, and Cat rules out the possibility.

After Anita leaves, Murali chases her, telling her that he can connect her so long as he gets to download everything she senses, since it represents "untapped data on the Tetza from the contact event."  Anita agrees and finds herself engaged with Ichiro more seamlessly:  he recognizes she's there and they're able to talk to each other.  She follows him (so to speak) as he heads to the research facility to find his family.  In despair over the devastation he finds, Ichiro gives up hope, but Anita encourages him to keep looking.  Suddenly, his children emerge from under some rubble.

This issue definitely rights the ship quite a bit.  Other than the incomprehensible battle scenes, it's an intriguing story.  I'm still not sure I'd hang in there longer than five issues, but I'm happy to hang in there three more issues to see what happens.

Duke #5:  Oof, we are going places, people.

This mini-series seamlessly sets up the "Destro" one, as Duke accuses Destro of using a robot who transformed from a jet (i.e., Starscream) to kill Frost and thereby informs Destro of the Transformers' existence.  Destro offers Duke a place at his side, which I initially thought Duke was going to take thanks to great panel sequencing on Williamson's part.  But Duke refuses the offer by headbutting Destro, a somewhat futile move given Destro's helmet but one that underscores Duke's grit.

Destro leaves his HQ and orders his minion, Scrap-Iron, to burn it to the ground as he also leaves Duke to survive a fight with a Battle Action Trooper (B.A.T.).  Duke manages to defeat the B.A.T., displaying his combat genius as he improvises moves and weapons to stay in the fight.  As he recalls Frost's death, Duke amps up his ferocity and brutally destroys the B.A.T.

With the public thinking Duke dead (given his presence in the destroyed M.A.R.S. HQ), Hawk admits to Duke at his bedside that he manipulated him into going after Destro and M.A.R.S.  Before Duke can tell him to go fuck himself, Hawk brings him to the Pit, where Clutch is working on creating the installation that we all now know.  Hawk also shows Duke security footage of Optimus Prime and asks Duke to lead the team that he's assembling to get more information about the Transformers.  Duke agrees but modifies the mission to destroying them.

Again, this series was excellent in no small part because Williamson really centers Duke's determination and pain.  He isn't just some superhuman hero, but a man on a quest to avenge his friend.  I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Dungeons & Dragons:  Saturday Morning Adventures II #4:  This issue is better than the last one but, oof, it still isn't great.

The kids wait with Jarlaxle on the Luskan shore as a storm blows into the city.  Hank is concerned that Drizzt and Dungeon Master are late, but Jarlaxle cautions him against taking the Flyin' Maiden to find them.  Based on Hank's comment about "home," Jarlaxle asks Hank to explain their situation to him, which he does.  Jarlaxle wonders why someone as powerful as Dungeon Master can't just send them home and then comments, wryly, that "those with power rarely use it to help others without expecting something in return."  (He humorously notes Minsc and Boo are the exception.)

Diana encourages Sheila to stop wondering if Bobby is mad at her and actually talk with him, which she does.  It prompts a reconciliation, as Diana pledges to treat him more like an adult and Bobby acknowledges that she's going to worry about him no matter how old he is.  As the storm worsens, Bobby demands that they take the Maiden to find Dungeon Master, but Jarlaxle pulls a fast one, noting the Maiden is the price for his help.  Hank notes that he got all of Wrathun's treasure (did he?), but Jarlaxle is unmoved.  The gang gets ready to attack him.

Before Bobby can bodyslam Jarlaxle, Guenhwyvar tackles him for kisses and snuggles and Drizzt arrives.  Drizzt notes that the kids ridding Luskan's shores of Wrathun was a fair price for Jarlaxle's help, and Jarlaxle tells him he'd kill anyone who said that to him other than Drizzt.  Then, they shake like bros.  Yes, it's totally random.

Anyway, Dungeon Master is dying, and he's apparently sussed out Venger as the culprit.  "He has found a way to siphon my power to add to his own."  Does anyone explain that?  No.  Whatever.  Let's just ride this cart to the end.  

Of course, Venger appears, and Presto figures out Dungeon Master's riddle means that he can using Wrathun's healing staff to steal back Dungeon Master's power and Venger's power.   He then infuses both powers into Dungeon Master, who uses them to open the portal for the kids to return home.

[Sigh.  Prepare yourself, here.]  Venger informs the team that Dungeon Master and Venger will die if they enter the portal as the portal consumers magic.  (Given the endless number of spells that allow walking between worlds, this explanation makes no sense.)  Dungeon Master confirms Venger's assertion and says he's willing to sacrifice himself.  Eric — Eric — then says no because Dungeon Master is part of their team.  Fine.  Whatever.

Anyway, Jarlaxle takes Venger to a Luskan prison, Minsc and Boo go with Drizzt to Iceland Dale to battle ice trolls, and the kids agree to help some kid who suddenly appears asking for help to rid his village of ankheg.  

I wanted this series to do so well, but the random developments in issue #3 and this one were serious disappointments.  Oh, well.  I'll still probably buy a sequel.

If You Find This, I'm Already Dead #3:  Oof.  I didn't see where we were going here!

Robin informs us that the man at the center of all things is named Brand and that he's been on Terminus for five years.  You initially think she's learned that from her conversation with Brand, but it becomes clear later that Robin came to Terminus with that knowledge.

Brand exposits his origin story as they walk.  He was part of the expeditionary team that first arrived on Terminus.  The Skrulls, whom he calls "Dirt Eaters," captured him and then tortured and brainwashed him and his teammates.  Robin informs us that Brand lost his mind rather than submit to the brainwashing and killed his teammates.  In fact, it isn't even clear if the Dirt Eater really tried to brainwash him or if he simply snapped in the face of their "inhuman...customs."  That said, we do see in his memory the Dirt Eaters plucking an eye from his head, so it isn't hard to see why he lost his mind.  

Robin tries to draw out Brand's humanity, telling him that he was known for his intellect, that the military called him the "warrior-scientist."  Brand explains his background in genetics allowed him to create the Prongs (i.e., the Tuning Forks).  Since "all anyone wants is to feel superior to someone else," he used the Prongs as his own personal army.  

Robin tells us that Brand continued to ramble, including about making her his queen.  A Prong takes her to a cell, and she says something in alien.  She must've convinced the Prong of whatever she was saying, because he hits a button and she falls into an underground river.  She then reveals that the military asked her to find and kill Brand.  She refused but hypothesizes that the military gave everyone else on her team the same mission.  

Traveling through the sewers, she finds the creature who previously digested her in issue #2, who I initially thought was Terminus in that issue.  She somehow realizes that she should attempt to bond with it, and, in so doing, we see glimpses of her past:  for example, I'm pretty sure she became a war correspondent after losing her family in a bombing of some sort.  For her part, she realizes the creature is one of the gods originally sent to Terminus for battle.

Now bonded, she and the creature rise as one.  Brand sees the threat and enters the god that he himself created, and we get a good ol' fashioned kaiju battle.  But the battle awakens other gods, who join Robin in the fight.  After defeating Brand, the gods excess their gratitude for letting them fight one last time and open a portal for Robin to return home before resuming their sleep.

In the epilogue, Robin reveals that society fractured after she told her tale.  Knowing an alien race existed largely caused humanity to lose its faith in religion, at least as they existed at the time.  Some in society believe her; some don't.  Some want her dead; others see her as a messiah.  Robin reflects on the irony that she learned that gods do exist, but most of the ones she found are dead.

Overall, Kindt somehow told an incredibly complicated story over only three issues.  Usually in these situations, I'm left feeling like we needed more issues, but Kindt really nailed the pacing here.  I definitely recommend.

Star Wars:  Jango Fett #2:  This issue is fun because Jango is pretty evenly matched, making it unclear which bounty hunter — him, Aurra Sing, or Vigor Struk — is going to find the Hope of Glee Anselm first.

On Level 1313 of Coruscant, the "heart of the black market," Jango enters an office to find a group of Anselmi speaking with an information broker.  The Anselmi leader tells Jango that they're on a secret operation to recover the Hope and can't leave behind any witnesses.  Jango then thanks the Anselmi for standing so close together and uses the Whistling Bird to eliminate them.  

Jango tells the broker that he's been working over fences to get a lead (which we apparently saw in "Star Wars:  Revelations (2023)" #1 though I don't remember that), but he's got nothing.  The broker tells him that they picked up a recording of a ship leaving Jaloria after the heist, when the ports were shut.  Jango takes the recording and tells the broker to consider it a fair trade for sparing their life.  As Jango boards Slave 1, Aurra Sing tags him with a tracer after Judicial Huijari tells her not to kill Jango.

Fairok of the Nautolans contacts Jango while he's flying Slave 1 and tells him that he's calling off his contract, but Jango reminds him that only the Republic can do that.  He then cuts off Fairok to speak with Kligson (!), who identified the ship that left Jaloria as a garbage scow of the type only used on Hallitron-7 in the Jalor Sector.  

On Hallitron-7, Jango shakes down Renzoh Silliace, a guy who works in the junkyard for the Blood Oath Syndicate and who confirms that he was paid a lot to transport the thief and the Hope.  But Renzoh tells Jango it was a double-cross — whoever paid the thief planned on killing her.  Since the thief was just a kid, Renzoh decided to help her escape.  Before Renzoh can say more, Vigor Struk arrives.  Meanwhile, Aurra heads into Renzoh's office while Huijari heads to where Jango and Vigor are fighting.

Vigor is giving Jango a run for his money, and Renzoh flees the scene — only for Huijari, surprisingly, to kill him.  Jango calls Slave 1 to save him, and Aurra finds Huijari and tells him that the thief left Hallitron-7 on a commuter ship to Coruscant but the ship makes supply drops to the "remote mining colony of Roxuli," an excellent place to hide  On Slave 1, Jango is frustrated that he has no leads only for someone, presumably the thief, to send him a message to meet them on Roxuli.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The March 27 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Alan Scott:  Green Lantern #5:  Now we're getting somewhere.

The best part of this issue is Sheridan's ability to maintain the tension as we build to a shocking finale.  I wasn't expecting a series built on a quiet moment in a motel room to end with a Cold War battle between two superhero teams, but here we are.  I also didn't see the Crimson Host's introduction coming, even though I was aware Sheridan was planning something with all his allusions to the sunken Soviet sub.

But let's start at the beginning.  Alan is holding Vlad by the throat demanding to know why he's framing him for murder.  Vlad warns Alan that he can't maintain using the Crimson Flame's power because the Red Labs proved it only works for him.  He shakes off Alan's hypnosis and, when Alan tries to punch him, escapes from his grip.  Alan remains focused on Vlad's actions, hypothesizing that he's trying to frame him and replace him as New York's savior, taking down America from the inside.  Vlad responds, "Work is work," seemingly confirming Alan's theory.  (We never discuss it again so I guess it's as good as we're going to get in terms of a motive.)  Vlad does note, though, that all of "our...'friends'" looked "so very familiar."  He then says that "men like us, Alan" aren't innocent.  Telling, Vlad.

Meanwhile, Alan's manservant, Derby, is listening to the news about the abandoned Soviet sub when he hears about the Green Lantern appearing powerless during a fight.

Returning to the fight, Alan notes Vlad said, "men like us."  (Apparently Alan thought it was telling, too.)  Alan says Vlad knows that Alan could never do what Vlad did and asserts that the man he loved could never do what Vlad did without "powerful outside influence."  Vlad tells him Johnny was a lie, and Alan, movingly, responds, "Not to me."  Vlad then confesses that he has to work for the Soviets as the Crimson Flame is the only thing keeping him alive.

Vlad expresses concern over Alan's deteriorating state under the Crimson Flame's influence, but Alan makes him tell him the truth.  Vlad tells Alan that the Red Labs killed him over and over again and each time he resurrected more powerful.  Eventually, they found Vlad's connection to the Flame and severed it, leaving Vlad dead for weeks.  Alan asks what they did with the Flame, but Vlad says that he doesn't know — it's classified above his level.  But, at some point, the Flame called to him and resurrected him.

Meanwhile, Derby hears the Green Lantern speak to him, so he brings it to the roof, where it sends out a beam that hits Alan.  Suddenly, Alan's inside a train car with Jimmy, who's clearly the Emerald Flame, which Alan eventually realizes.  The Flame exposits his origin story at this point.  

"Eons ago," the Guardians gathered all the "ancient, wandering magic of their realm and, to keep it from falling into corrupt hands, bound it within the heart of a star."  Eventually, the magic — now dubbed the Starheart — became sentient.  It grew lonely and eventually expelled a portion of itself to travel the Universe to seek its destiny.  At the same time, a portion of its sentience "leached into the corona of its starry tomb."  Separated from the rest of itself, this part became even more intensely lonely, and its loneliness turned to sorrow and its sorrow turned to rage.  When it saw Starheart's essence rocket through the sky, it expelled itself as the Crimson Flame.

Eventually, the meteor became the metal that Billie used to create the Green Lantern.  Alan asks why the Emerald Flame chose him, and the Flame tells him that it's his will.  It was drawn to him at the moment he stared down the Crimson Flame.  The Emerald Flame reviews the various times Alan's helped others in the face of adversity — sacrificing the Crimson Flame to save his crew mates, staying at the Asylum to help free others, allegedly confronting Dekker (though I don't recall seeing that).  The Emerald Flame gave him its power because he makes the world a better place.  

Honestly, it's one of the least outrageous origin stories I've read.

The Emerald Flame then warns Alan that "they must be stopped" and returns him to consciousness.  As Vlad says, he returns "all spiffied up."  Vlad prepare for another round, but Alan warns him that they have a common enemy coming.  As crimson energy beams rain upon the city, Alan asks Vlad how well he trusts his government.  Vlad angrily grabs a paper from Alan's hands and learns of the missing sub.  Alan alludes to the time when Vlad died while the Soviets retained access to the Crimson Flame, and Vlad wonders why they would hide the truth from him.  Vlad's ring then "ftz"-es, something it's never down before, when suddenly they're both knocked on their asses.

They're now face-to-face with the Crimson Host!  Major Blaze informs Vlad that he's been relieved by him, Comrade Kostra, the Countess, Professor Molotov, and Proletari-ant!  Vlad watches in horror as Blaze destroys the Crimson Lantern as a miniaturized Proletari-ant (I missed this part the first time) tries to steal Alan's ring. Alan says they need backup, and Vlad asks about his friends.  As Alan mutters, "Friends?  I...I don't...", the Flash responds, from behind him, "Of course you do." as the Justice Society of America arrives.

That ending is a bad-ass moment, y'all, and I can't wait to see how Sheridan wraps up this story.

Duke #4:  This issue moves us pretty quickly from start to finish, as Duke impresses the Baroness by accurately laying out the stakes (i.e., the people who created the shitshow in which they find themselves are going to go scorched Earth to cover their tracks and she's going to get burned).  So they throw in their lot together to escape the Pit.  

With Rock 'n Roll and Stalker with them, the group makes its way into a sub-basement full of vehicles for Clutch to activate.  Meanwhile, outside, it turns out Bludd survived the Baroness' attack though lost an eye in the process.  The group bursts from the Pit as Bludd's men flee in the face of the Joes (and Baroness).  The Baroness takes one of Bludd's men's personal helicopters and escapes, while Duke flies a jet to where Burkhart's tracker leads.

Williamson then sets up Destro's role in the Energon Universe as his scientists inform him that the robots that they're creating need a more durable power source, making it clear that he'll join the hunt for Energon.  Meanwhile, he orders a minion, Scrap-Iron, to roll out the welcome wagon for Duke in the form of anti-aircraft missiles.  Duke crashes into the body of water outside Destro's headquarters but makes his way inside.  Thinking he's going to face Starscream, he's surprised when a different robot attacks him.

Williamson does a nice job here setting up the final issue.  Unlike most mini-series at this point, I feel like we don't have too many loose ends, so we may actually get some sense of satisfaction when this mini-series ends.  Crazy, right?

Dungeons and Dragons:  Saturday Morning Adventures II #3:  This issue makes not a lick of sense.

Minsc arrives in the pirates' hideout announcing that he bought Bobby's club off Bobby's former teammates, and Wrathun asks how exactly Minsc found the Hanged Man Crew's hide-out.  Bobby calls bullshit and tells Minsc that his sister would never sell his club, and Minsc confirms that he's there to create a diversion.  The team arrives and attacks.  Although Kambadais never shows this moment, the Crew obviously intimidates the team, because they surrender.

Wrathun exposits that they have a deal with the dragon turtle, but given they're low on treasure they'll feed the team to the turtle instead.  He decides to test Bobby's loyalty by having him choose which one of his former teammates will fight the turtle:  if the teammate wins, he'll free everyone; if they lose, he'll feed them all to the turtle.  (I don't get how choosing someone proves Bobby's loyalty to the Crew, since it isn't like he's condemning them to death, necessarily.  But, at this point, I have greater fish to fry.)  Bobby chooses himself though all the other teammates (except Eric, obviously) offer to fight the turtle, too.

Then we really go off the rails.  Bobby suddenly turns on Wrathun, demanding his wooden leg.  He exposits that he never intended to become a pirate; he overheard Wrathun telling his crew that his peg leg is a magical healing staff, which Bobby figured was the one Jarlaxle identified as able to help Dungeon Master.  (I *think* Bobby turned on Wrathun because he realized they were going to die against the turtle anyway, but I'm not 100% sure.)  The team then fights the turtle, and they're saved when Jarlaxle arrives with their Spelljammer.  (He doesn't explain at any point where he went or why they couldn't've just used the Spelljammer in the first place, instead of hitching a ride on the boat.  But again bigger fish.)

In the end, it's revealed Bobby swiped the staff from Wrathun in the chaos, though:  1) the staff looks nothing like Wrathun's peg leg and 2) you would've figured Wrathun would've realized it when someone stole his leg.

I saw on Comic Book Round-Up this issue got a low score and now I know why.  Oof.

Local Man:  Bad Girls Special #1:  This issue is fine, but I can't say it's really necessary.

Honestly, the issue's best part is Neon's summary of Inga's crimes.  It not only serves as the framing device for the fairy tale that Neon tells Inga (more on that later), but it confirms the story as I thought it was.  Namely, Inga made a deal with Camo Crusader to launder her "superpower laborer" business through her bakery and killed the 4th Gen recruits to make the business possible.  The only question mark for me is why Camo Crusader wanted to edge out Inga from the partnership, though it's totally possible Seeley and Fleecs covered that in the series and I just don't remember.

At any rate, it's a good reminder of how deftly Seeley and Fleecs handled the series' revelations, unlike most series, which would've dragged on the mystery too long and tied up all the loose ends at once.  (Given I said the same thing, essentially, about "Duke" #4, it's a good time to be a comic-book fan.)

As I said, Neon's conversation with Inga serves as a framing device for three stories that give us more background into this world.  

First, a super-villain named The Sixth (as in the sixth major extinction) eliminates all men to end humanity's ability to procreate.  When Seascape - in her form as a water sprite of sorts - encounters a female superhero, Lovebunny, she asks after the "sweet boys" who "came to my stream laughing and catching frogs" went.  Lovebunny tells her about The Sixth, and Seascape travels via a subterranean ocean to kill The Sixth at her lair in Canada.  Ending the story, Neon notes that she left Seascape in Farmington, where Inga then tried to process her for raw materials.  (I'm still not entirely sure why Seascape murdered the girl working for Inga, but at this point I'll just accept the authors gave us a reason.)

Second, in Inga's car, the pair listen to Frightside's audiobook, which recounts an encounter with Crossjack where the Fright tried to get his hands on him.  It's the weakest of the three stories.

 

Finally, Neon recounts her origin story, telling Inga that she was raised on a New Age commune in Texas.  A CIA agent viewed the commune as a threat and used an extraterrestrial power source to wipe out the group, their minds communing with the Universe as the "magenta fog" turned their bodies into liquid.  Neon survives the fog, which imbues her with powers.  Calling herself the Neon Demon, Neon went on a rampage against religion until Camo Crusader found her and directed her to the agent who ordered the hit.  When Second Gen was dissolved, Neon took a place on Camo Crusader's Third Gen.

The issue ends with Inga forced to reckon with all the people she hurt.  Neon asks Inga if she killed Jack's father or if his heart stopped beating of its own accord.  Before Inga can answer, Neon tells her that she believes "a girl deserves some contradiction every now and then."  But Neon tells her that if she steps "one toe out of line" she'll tell Jack where she is, the favor Camo Crusader did for her.

All in all, it's an excellent coda to the series' first story.  Without the mystery of Farmingham driving the story, I wonder where Jack and we go from here.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The February 28 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Duke #3:  Ah, the Baroness.

Before this issue, we were essentially watching boys playing with their toys.  It was fun, but it was also sort of ridiculous, the idea that Duke was going to play spy on Burkhart's behalf.  I mean, he isn't exactly the spy sort of guy, as Hawk mentions in issue #1.  

The Baroness, on the other hand — well, she's an entirely different kettle of fish.  Duke reviews her history here, which interestingly enough seems to surprise her.  It isn't really a shock that she was a rich kid who got bored and started engaging in black ops for an Eastern European intelligence agency to keep herself amused.  But Duke alludes to something made her go from spy to terrorist and exposits that they still don't what it was.

The Baroness doesn't reveal her cards, though.  Instead, she notes that she left the situation and observes, not incorrectly, that Duke remains committed to his system, even though it's locked him in the same prison as her.  Duke insists that he let himself be captured so he could make his case to the Powers That Be, but he doesn't seem so confident about it when he repeats it for the Baroness.

Before they can continue the discussion, Major Bludd and his Blood Hounds arrive.  Working for Destro, he's been tasked with killing Duke and finding Burkhart's device.  (Destro used Burkhart's tracker to reverse engineer where Duke was, leading Bludd to the Pit.)  Before Bludd can kill a defiant Duke, the Baroness shoots him between the eyes.  Looking at a stunned Duke, she notes the bounty on his head that Bludd mentioned.

All in all, the Baronness injects some much needed energy into this title, distracting me from the nagging questions about how this story and "Transformers" fit in the Energon Universe timeline.

Dungeons & Dragons:  Saturday Morning Adventures II #2:  This issue is interesting because Booher really addresses for the first time that the kids, notably Bobby, are aging.  

Jarlaxle learns that Bobby didn't run from the party; a pirate named Captain Wrathun captured him, for reasons that Booher doesn't reveal.  Jarlaxle hires Minsc and Boo (!) as mercenaries, and the party sets sail across the Trackless Sea for the island of Gundarlun, where Wrathun and the Hanged Man Crew have their hideout.  Sheila confides in Diana that she's struggling with the fact that Bobby is getting older, and Diana tells her that they need to assure Bobby that they'll be here for him as he does.

A dragon turtle takes out their boat, and the party (minus Jarlaxle) find themselves on Gundarlun just in time to find Bobby swearing fealty to the Hanged Man Crew, after Wrathun correctly surmised he wanted to be the warrior Sheila didn't want him to become.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Undiscovered Country #28:  Holy shit, I didn't see that coming.

In a flashback, Dr. Kellogg, Bounty's founder, tells his son, one of the Nephilim, that the other Zones have become dangerous, some of them evil.  He's at the end of his life, so he boards the train to destroy the bridge to Aurora and begs his son to keep up the lie that Bounty is feeding the other Zones so the Nephilim have something in which they believe.  But he also warns him that outsiders will come one day and he'll need to keep his family safe.

In the present, Chang gets Janet to shake off her grief, asserting that Aurora created and cured Sky to build up tension and then grant release, hopefully creating the scenario for the AEA and PAPZ to channel their newly excess energy into war with each other.  Janet realizes he's right, that the United States would then ride into the situation on a white horse, given the goodwill it created in curing Sky, which is why her and Chang's analogues in Zone History ordered the invasion of the United States.  She and Chang recommit to taking out Aurora.

As Ace and Valentina have sex for the first time, the locusts attack, and the team heads off the bridge.  Snyder and Soule are clever here:  I was wondering how the team was going to survive, and then we then see a naked Ace (whose hog is huge, per Chang) flying Buzz, with the rest of the crew hanging off Buzz.  Pavel uses his flaming arm to kill some of the locusts, and, for reasons that aren't totally clear, the locusts decide now to attack the Nephilim.  The crew makes its way back to Bounty only for the Nephilim's leader to blame the team for the locusts' attack and rip Chang in half to save his family!  

I'm assuming Chang survives here but, man, that had to hurt.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The January 31 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Alan Scott:  Green Lantern #4:  Sheridan delivers the Crimson Lantern's origin here, and, honestly, it makes a lot more sense than Alan's at this point.

Johnny, or Vlad, narrates his origin for Alan as Alan lies on the floor after Vlad sucked punched him at the end of last issue.  Vlad was born in 1932 in Bobruisk, Belarus, where his father was stationed.  Vlad leaves home as a young (barely) man to escape his abusive father, who later loses his house in a card game and dies penniless in the streets.  

Vlad grows bored in the Red Army and sleeps with a high-ranking official in the Political Directorate to become a spy.  (Vlad will later try to wrap the tattered remains of his heterosexuality around himself, so it's interesting to see how early into his career he was using it as an excuse to have sex with men.)

Vlad explains his first assignment is ironically his last one, as he's assigned to infiltrate Project Twilight.  He's chosen because his mother taught him English by reading him ancient myths; coincidentally, the "Red Fires of Béringovo Môre" (i.e., the Crimson Flame of Death) fascinated them.  

Vlad is initially concerned that someone is going to realize that he's a spy since he isn't an engineer, but he realizes he's dickmatized Alan so he finds another way (i.e., dick) to stay on the project.  

Once he and Alan contain the Crimson Flame, Vlad thought he was close to victory, as a Soviet submarine was speeding toward the ship.  But Alan's heroism gets in the way when he releases the Flame to save "Johnny."  Of course, the Flame winds up getting Vlad anyway.  After Vlad drowns, the Flame resurrected him, and he notes he saw a brief green flash under the water before the Soviet divers rescued him.  

He spends two years under the knife in the Red Labs, though it becomes clear the Flame only responds to him, dooming the Soviets' plan to create a whole legion of Crimson Soldiers.  Reading about the Green Lantern, the Soviets create a lantern and ring for Vlad, who notes that "these two incredible cosmic forces are bonded," just like he and Alan.

In the present, Vlad continues to monologue, and it's clear he's just finding a reason to talk to Alan.  Like, if he were really a straight guy who simply used Alan to get what he wanted, I don't think he'd be pondering aloud his decision to choose Florida State College as his alleged alma mater since it's a women's college.  (He comments about how it's like he almost wanted Alan to catch him.)

Eventually, Alan catches Vlad off guard and attacks, and "Johnny" tells him his real name before bolting through the wall.  Alan follows him, and we get a hilarious scene where they move through an apartment's walls unnoticed while the family listens to a radio broadcast about the missing Soviet submarine.

Alan depletes his ring's energy mid-flight, and Vlad saves him from falling by encircling him in a bubble.  Vlad explains to Alan that the two Flames contain "all the ancient magic of this universe concentrated and contained within the heart of the star."  (Sure.)  It allows for "flight, strength, even energy constructs," and it's interesting Alan didn't know about the constructs.  That said, Alan does understand that the ring allows him and Vlad to move through solid walls by moving them to a time when the wall doesn't exist, meaning they're capable of some form of time travel.  Vlad ponders whether Alan hasn't realized his potential because the Flames' powers are based on emotions and he always suppresses his.  (Um, OK, pot.)

Alan approaches Vlad through the bubble and asks why he killed the men.  Vlad says he didn't want to kill anyone, and Alan asks if he was jealous.  Vlad rages at him, saying he has a wife now, and cuts off Alan as he asks, "Does she know you're a --?"  He doesn't finish the question and instead leans with his back agains the bubble; Vlad does the same, leaving them back to back.  

Alan tells Vlad that he bought the house in Lake George that Vlad loved (and Alan hated), explaining that it had an echo of him there and that he's been picking up pieces of that echo in people (i.e., his "Johnny" doppelgängers) and places.  They have a moment here as Alan puts his hand against the bubble.  Vlad whispers his name before reciprocating...

...and Alan punches him, grabbing the Crimson Lantern and recharging his ring with it, despite Vlad's warning not to do so.

All in all, it's a solid issue.  Given Alan eventually marries a woman (actually, two, I think), Vlad isn't the villain simply because he isn't living a fully realized life.  By including the story about the Political Directorate official "plucking" him from the Army, Sheridan makes it clear that Vlad is as gay (or at least bisexual) as Alan is but struggling with it just the same.

At some point, Sheridan does have to answer this question of why Vlad killed all those guys.  Even if it was "just" jealousy, he clearly seemed to do it to lay a trail for Alan to follow, which raises the question why he didn't just capture or kill Alan in the first place.  In fact, given the submarine story simmering on the back burner, we're still not really clear if Vlad is here on the Soviets' behalf or on his own.

Duke #2:  First things first, the "Energon Universe's" time frame is still unclear to me.  I'm really not sure how "Duke's" time frame fits into the larger "G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero" and "Transformers" time frames.

To wit, this issue ends with Rock 'n Roll and Stalker successfully nabbing Duke and his buddy, Clutch, and bringing them to an abandoned Pit, which we learn the Army decommissioned in the '80s but still uses to hold high-value prisoners.  Given this series began at the same in-universe time as "Transformer" #1 (recalling Duke goes on his bender because he sees Starscream kill his buddy in "Transformers" #1), it seems like "G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero" is at least several months, if not years, in the future (or, I guess, the past), since Duke isn't a drunk and the Pit is the Pit.

At any rate, to start at the start, Duke finds Clutch, who's a friend from before he joined the Army — Clutch used to build cars that Duke would crash (presumably in derby races).  He has a B.S. from MIT and lives in a trailer at the junkyard he runs.  He's a pretty great bro, even if he does forget the name of his girlfriend when he tries to introduce Duke to her.  He does, however, realize the device that Dr. Burkhart gave Duke triangulates where her tech is, and it seems like it's with Destro.  It's at this point where Rock 'n Roll and Stalker appear and manage to get the jump on the boys.

Back at the Pit, it turns out Duke and Clutch are in the cell next to the Baronnes, who proposes an "arrangement."  I'm sure that'll turn out well.

Local Man #7:  Oof, Jack gets it in this issue.

First things first, Jack confirms that whatever drugs the hippies gave him unlocked a new understanding of his powers.  It isn't just that he was able to find solutions when he was high; he realizes that he's always been able to put himself on the right path.  He's explaining this discovery to Brian, who's locked him in jail after overhearing Jack yell at Inga on the phone and mentioning they had sex.  (I imagine Jack's powers are part of the reason he's popular with the ladies.)  But Jack wonders if he wasn't drawn to Inga after taking down Deliverance (I assume the crew selling drugs) because she was behind it all.

At any rate, Jack uses his shoe to knock out Brian, swipe his keys, and escape prison.  He gets his usual Drvr dude and tells him about his situation.  He still doesn't really understand what Inga's doing or why she's doing it, since it involves doing said thing and then building a whole life to cover up the thing she's doing.  When Jack mentions Seascape, the Drvr dude hypothesizes she's a fey, since he and his brother-in-law have been playing a bunch of DnD.  (Ha!)  He explains fey love children, but they go all John Wick when they get hurt.  This statement matches what we saw at the start of the issue, when Seascape grieves when she realizes she killed Michelle, a child.

At this point, Jack's mom calls, and he rushes home to find his dad lying dead in the field, the "Auntie Inga" bag Inga gave him earlier suspiciously close to his body.  At the Future Forum event, Inga reveals Rudy as The Slick 2.0 to some investors.  She then lights a cigarette and sets Rudy on fire!  After panicking, Rudy realizes she's fine, and Inga tells the investors bidding starts at $2 million for this power set.

At the farm, Jack comforts his mother when he sees a tsunami heading to town.  There, Seascape accuses Inga of dumping Michelle's body on her parents' doorstep.  (Two other "whys" here are why Michelle was attracted to Seascape's song and why Inga would leave Michelle's body for her parents to find.)  Jack arrives with the Drvr dude and lets Inga know she killed his dad (another "why" to add to the list).  Inga then asks Jack if he's going to stop her or save Farmington.  

Brian arrives and asks "How do you want to do this, asshole?!"  At first I thought he meant fighting over Inga, but then I realized Brian is Brian and he meant how they were going to save the town.  Jack tells Brian to get his kids and head to high ground and then turns to Slick 2.0 and tells her to start helping people.  Inga tells Brian she'll come with him, and he tells her not to touch him.  Good for you, dude.

Downtown, Drvr guy (quickly becoming my favorite character) is elated because he has Jack throwing horseshoes at Seascape since "'cold iron' is plus five against fey."  Ha!  Jack sends Drvr guy to help folks and then apologizes to Seascape, who stops when she recognizes him. 

 The issue seems to end with Inga leaving Wisconsin, though I don't know if that means that she's going to get the blame for everything that happened in Farmington.  Suddenly, though, at the news station reporting on the tsunami, they play video that Brian sent them showing Jack killing Camo Crusader!  Damn, Brian!

Moon Man #1:  This issue is one of the best debuts I've read in a long time.  Kid Cudi and Higgins present a fully realized cast of characters in just one issue, the type of cast that makes me feel justified every time I find myself criticizing a book for its lack of characterization.  Moreover, it isn't just the protagonists that Kid Cudi and Higgins present so authentically; they make Buckley into a villain with just a few words and a well timed elbow to the ribs.  In other words, they do more here than some authors do over the course of entire series.

The issue starts with Ramon, our protagonist, begging a bunch of scientists to let him and his colleagues go after they've endured six weeks of testing.  When Ramon and his colleagues eventually leave the facility, the press shout questions at them.  Through their responses, we learn Janus —a corporation whose owner's son is Buckley, one of Ramon's fellow crew members — sent them to the Moon so Buckley could be the first man in 50 years to walk on it.  However, they encountered "cosmic turbulence" and disappeared for seven minutes; Ramon was the pilot who managed to return them to Earth.  When the media start focusing on Ramon, Buckley elbows him into a cameraman to retain the press' attention.  As Ramon is trying to help the cameraman pick up his stuff, he suddenly experiences a colorful hallucination.

Ramon returns to his home in Cleveland where his angsty teenage brother, Micah, lives.  Micah veers from expressing hatred for Janus ("[T]hey've cut competition everywhere because they own everything") to Ramon ("You been gone for years.  Why'd you even come back here?") while telling Ramon he's sorry that he didn't make it to the moon.  (Ah, teenagers.)  

Micah leaves for an anti-Janus rally, and Ramon experiences a strength surge, crushing his phone in his hand due to his frustration with Micah, as well as another hallucination.  After seeing the protests have turned violent, Ramon heads to where they're happening to find Micah.  He wears his spacesuit to hide his identify and, when he sees cops nearing Micah, leaps through the air, surrounded by the same colorful energy that he sees in his hallucinations.  The concussion of his landing knocks away the cops, and he and Micah flee.  

Later, Ramon insists to Micah that he didn't fly — it was more like something shifted.  Micah starts criticizing Ramon for not owning his powers, but Ramon lays into him, telling him that it's easy for him to take the high road since Ramon is the one who's been paying his bills since their parents died.  (At one point, Micah criticized Ramon for leaving NASA, and Ramon commented that Janus — and certainly not NASA — was paying their bills.)

Micah acknowledges that Ramon doesn't owe the world anything, but he has a lot to give and it's fair for him (Micah) to want to see Ramon give it in a way that just doesn't serve Janus.  (Fair, Micah.)  Later, Ramon experiences another hallucination in his front yard and demands from the universe to know what the Hell is happening to him.

All in all, it's a spectacular issue.  Kid Cudi and Higgins create such a totally coherent world in just one issue.  You can imagine a scenario where all five crew members develop powers à la Fantastic Four (but not using them altruistically).  You can also imagine Micah's warning that people are going to come after Ramon once they figure out he was the one under the mask coming true.  

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Seven-Month-Old Comics: The December 27 Top-Shelf Edition - Part One (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Alan Scott:  Green Lantern #3:  This issue is somewhat hard to follow, since it's hard to tell which corpse is which corpse, given they're all in a similar state and Alan definitely has a type.

Alan arrives at a pier where gays cruise and tells Mikey, one of the regulars, that he's looking for someone.  (I bet he is.)  Mikey tells Alan that Tommy, another regular, drowned and others "ain't been around."  Mikey notes that Tommy was wearing combats boots when he died, but, before Alan can learn more, the cops arrive, and Alan uses his powers to disappear.

(I'll say here that it's a confusing start to the issue, as it really isn't clear why Alan was initially at the pier.  After reading this sequence a few times, I'm pretty sure Alan was going to have sex with Tommy, since he mentions that he and Tommy hooked up every once in a while.  Initially, though, I thought he was just there looking for information about Robbie's death, but I don't think that's true.)

At any rate, Alan decides to find out more about Tommy's death.  At the morgue, the Flash exposits that Tommy also has burns on his wrists and ankles, like Robbie did.  The Flash alludes to the fact that the case is personal to Alan, and Alan looses his shit at the implication that he's gay.  The Flash doesn't directly address Alan's sexuality but instead repeats something Alan previously said, that, "There is no society without justice...for all."  He then informs Alan that the Justice Society of America (JSA) has already dispatched the Spectre to look into Tommy's case.

(Again, the revelation that the JSA is working on Tommy's case is weird, for a number of reasons.  First, I assume the JSA learned about Tommy's death from Alan, so I don't get why they're keeping information form him, even if they're worried he's too emotionally connected to the case.  Second, it doesn't seem like that much time passed between when Tommy died and Flash and Green Lantern are in the morgue.  Can't they wait for the NYPD to investigate?  Are they investigating every missing person case in New York?)

In an alley, Alan finds the Spectre, who digs his fingers into the head of a guy whose girlfriend is a file clerk in the precinct and tells him about all the cases that cross her desk.  (It turns out he's dating her to pass on the information to his boss, Don Rocco Santucci.)  Learning that Tommy's file is in the nearby precinct, Alan and the Spectre head to the file room there.  They discover the file empty, and Alan notes it's in the wrong precinct, given where Tommy died.  

(Again, I had some issues here.  I get the Spectre is looking into Tommy's death, but why go to Santucci's guy instead of the file clerk herself?  The Spectre comments that he'd been chasing boyfriends all day, so was he shaking down the boyfriends of every record clerk in every precinct in New York?  Is every file clerk in New York dating a mob guy who the Spectre feels more comfortable shaking down than the clerks themselves?)

As a cop, the Spectre notes that the best way to bury a file is not to create one in the first place.  He hypothesizes someone created the empty file to point the finger at Alan, since he can walk through walls and the file contained compromising material about him (i.e., a file existed but Alan expunged the information, and anyone who read the file would guess it was him).  (This part also doesn't really make sense, since it isn't like people who knew Alan was gay knew the Green Lantern was Alan, except for J. Edgar.)  Alan informs the Spectre that Robbie and Tommy displayed the same wounds as Johnny.  

Alan feels the weight of all three deaths on his shoulders, and the Spectre delivers a speech about how God reserves his retribution for people who judge and hate people like Robbie and Tommy and Alan.  A grieving Alan hugs the Spectre, who comforts him, telling him that he doesn't deserve divine punishment because he puts on the ring and cape and tries to do good.  He then echoes something Johnny said in issue #1, that, "If God himself didn't want you to love - then how could you?"  It's a little too speechy to be moving, I'll be honest.

At any rate, the Spectre says that they need to find the 42 men who served on Project Crimson, prompting Alan to remark, "Forty-one."  Recalling that the "voice" said it brings death, life, and then power, Alan heads home.  Before he arrives, we have an interlude where Doiby is listening to a broadcast discussing how a Soviet submarine went missing off Greenland's coast.  Upon entering his study, Alan encounters the Red Lantern and calls him, "Johnny."  Johnny punches him and then speaks to him in Russian, ending with, "My love."

Although an awkward issue, I'm hoping Sheridan just needed to cut some corners to move us to this next stage, one that seems to have a lot of potential.  Are we going Winter Soldier here?  Or was Johnny always a Soviet agent?  Poor Alan.

Duke #1:  Holy shit, this issue is great.  I was excited about Skybound taking over these characters because I expected them to do a great job, but we're exceeding even my high expectations.

In my review of "G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero" #302, I noted that series has so far lagged behind "Transformers" and "Void Rivals" in terms of the larger "Energon Universe" story.  That said, we hit the ground running on that larger story here, as Hawk tells a broken Duke to pull himself together.  Instead of snapping to attention, Duke essentially tells Hawk to go fuck himself after Hawk refuses to acknowledge the military is lying to him about Starscream killing Frosting in "Transformers" #1.  Speaking about Frosting's family (including his baby boy), Duke vows to get to the bottom of the mystery.

Six months later, a disheveled Duke arrives at a townhouse with a bunch of UFO enthusiasts.  Their conversations disturb him, though some people are clearly speaking about seeing the Transformers (and others...not so much).  Before Duke can leave, Dr. Adele Burkhart introduces herself.  Telling Duke that it's easier to hide the truth among the ridiculous, she brings him to her office.  She tells him that she invited him to the meeting because she used to work on a project to use the Big Bang's cosmic dust as a renewable energy source.  At some point, though, she began to question the project's direction.  The project was allegedly put on ice, but Burkhart is worried that someone is using her research to create the next doomsday weapon.  She sends Duke to M.A.R.S. Industries, which I should've recognized earlier is Destro's company.

Duke manages to break into M.A.R.S. and sees an assembly line of robots.  Duke clearly thinks these robots are the Transformers, but before he can gather more information a Colossus-looking dude named Mercer grabs him.  Mercer wants to off him, but Destro orders him to release Duke.  Destro is disturbed that Destro let him free and heads to Burkhart's, where he discovers someone has killed the enthusiasts and left Burkhart for dead.  She hands Duke something before the police arrive on the scene, clearly sent by Destro so Duke would take the fall for the deaths.

Elsewhere, Hawk gets orders to bring in Duke, which Cover Girl tells him is going to be tough.  He responds that he knows, which is why he's going to assign the job to Stalker and Rock 'n Roll.

Again, it's great stuff here.  Given what we're seeing in "Transformers," it seems ridiculous the government would try to cover up the destruction the Decepticons have already wrought.  But I love the idea of a rogue Duke, so I'm excited to see where we go. 

Local Man #8:  Jack uses his new powers of emotional perception, if you will, to convince Kopecki to run Inga's warehouse's property record.  After Jack has sex with Inga outside the quarry (we learn they first met there when Jack was busting kids doing drugs), Kopecki calls him to say the LLC is anonymous but is registered to Brian and Inga's house.  After encountering Seascape, Brian (for some reason) also heads to the quarry, and Jack accuses him of being the one storing 4th Gen.  Seascape appears again before they can fight each other, and Jack realizes that it's Inga and not Brian behind the warehouse.  Dun-dun-dun!

No/One #7:  This issue moves more expeditiously than previous ones, as Higgins and Buccellato take this story to the next stage.

First things first, Ben meets with his friend, Sherm, who asks if he really has the guts to kill his son for the crimes Ben is convinced Aaron committed.  Meanwhile, at Julia's apartment, Danielle knocks on her door and apologizes for the article she wrote about her mom.  Julia isn't buying it, but Danielle continues, expressing outrage over what the Ledger assholes did to her.  Julia opens her door to scream at Danielle, but she's surprised when Danielle hands over all the work the police have done on Copycat #3.  (I'm not sure how Danielle got that, which I'm guessing is relevant.  Is Danielle No/One?)

At Aaron's apartment, Ben arrives with a gun, and Aaron encourages him to kill him if it'll make him feel better.  Ben tells Aaron not to put his (Aaron's) imminent death on him (Ben) and once again implies that his bad parenting is responsible.  Aaron has to break it to him that his actions weren't about Ben.  (Seriously, Ben, it's time for therapy.)  Aaron doubts that Ben has the guts to pull the trigger, but the gun fires, either because Ben did pull the trigger or No/One startled him from behind.  No/One tells Ben they need to take down Aaron the right way, and he and Ben leave.

That night, Julia arrives at Ben's house with the files.  As they work, Noah Kemp is on Alana's show ranting about how someone needs to hold the podcast reporters accountable for getting his brother killed.  Not unreasonably, Alana asks whether he's suggesting Donovan should've preemptively attacked the journalists in question, if his (Noah's) preemptive defense law had been in effect.  Noah says that he's not suggesting that...but then rambles about how it's "unamerican" to put people in a position "with no options."  (So what are the options, Noah?  How do you engage in preemptive defense without killing someone?)

Suddenly, Julia has an inspiration that lead her and Ben to conclude that Copycat #3 is Harrison Gill.   He was a "disgruntled employee of P3" whom the police interviewed after Tobias North's murder but didn't consider a suspect.  But, in reviewing the Cade case, Julia realizes that Chuck spilled the beans about Cade to his bartender — Harrison Gill.

Ben arrives at the bar, and Gill greets him calling him "Ben" instead of "Jim."  Gill notices Singh outside and Harper inside and tells Ben that he has to change the keg.  Singh texts McGarrity, who's covering the back exit.  McGarrity tries to stop him, but Gill stabs him.  McGarrity surveys and tells the others, as they arrive on the scene, that Gill was heading to a car.  Gill manages to escape, but Harper finds the Richard Roe mask and gun in Gill's glove compartment.

It seems pretty clear that Gill is Copycat #3, though I'm confused how Ben didn't make that connection earlier.  It's nice to have one question answered here, though we still don't know if Gill was Richard Roe (as he claimed) and either as Copycat #3 or Roe he worked alone.

The podcast doesn't really expand on the story too much, particularly since it mostly just replays Noah's conversation with Alanna.  

The most interesting revelations are conformation that Gill's gun is the same one used in the Copycat #3 murders and that Gill was friends with two of the employees who Tobias North threw under the bus and who both later committed suicide.  

The podcast doesn't address No/One's identity, but Ben confirms that he still thinks Aaron is Richard Roe (and not Gill, as he claimed he was).

For the fact that we've gone this long without answers to basic questions, I'll say that I'm not as antsy as I usually am.  Higgins and Buccellato are doing a fantastic job in terms of the pacing, making you really uncertain about facts that you think you know.  It's really one of my must-reads right now.