Not-Very-Deep Thoughts: The July 19 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

I'm back!  It's been a hectic few weeks, so sorry for the delay.  I've got a few reviews in the can, so hopefully I'll be current soon!

Secret Empire #6:  I know some people aren't reading this event because they object to Captain Nazi, and I understand that, but, OMG, it's so good and I feel bad for them.  This issue starts off fairly staid but Spencer just keeps building and building the tension until I realized I was holding my breath.  The issue begins with the Champions arguing with Nadia because she refuses to be part of Natasha's new Red Room.  (Natasha is training them for their assault on HYDRA.)  Miles later encourages Natasha to be more forthcoming with the team to address Nadia's concerns.  I thought the rest of the issue would be filled with similar sorts of character vignettes, serving as a stock-taking of the characters' emotional states before the push to the finale.  But, um, no.  First, Spencer reveals Mockingbird wasn't communicating with Cap; she's in cahoots with Maria Hill.  (Hurrah!  Spidey is going to get some!)  Hill has several plans she wants to put into action, but Mockingbird convinced her to delay while they waited to see if Hawkeye could pull off the win.  It turns out Scott betrayed the team because HYDRA got to Cassie.  Spencer does an outstanding job in this sequence, perfectly capturing Quicksilver's outrage at Mockingbird's accusation he was the spy as well as Scott's devastation over once again falling short of being a hero.  On HYDRA's ship, Bruce is speaking in lower-case lettering, making me wonder if he's not the Ultimate Universe version of Bruce Banner.  He refuses Cap's offer to get vengeance on the people Cap claims hated him for never submitting to their will, so Cap activates the Hulk instead.  Cap leads an attack on the Mount, and Giant-Man helps turn the tide when he reveals he's replicated Egghead's robot Avengers.  It gives the team enough time to evacuate the refugees after Thor turns a blind eye.  But, it's the last few pages of this issue that take the cake.  In possibly his most real moment ever, Tony admits to Steve he keeps trying to be him, but he keeps failing because he's not made of the same stuff.  He was trying to save him this time because he wanted to be to Steve what Steve has always been to him:  his hero.  But, he acknowledges he failed, and he activates a nuclear bomb.  However, Elisa sacrifices her life to save Steve, teleporting him from the blast zone.  Devastated upon hearing the news, Natasha assumes everyone is dead and tells the Champions it's time to kill Steve.  It's a gripping ride, from start to finish.  It's one of the best comics I've ever read, and it's probably the best issue of any event ever.  I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Astonishing X-Men #1:  Marvel has marketed this series as an ambitious one, in the mode of Whedon's run on this title.  So far Soule and Cheung don't disappoint.  They really summon the energy of the 1990s X-Men as they assemble an all-star 1990s lineup:  Archangel, Beast, Bishop, Fantomex, Gambit, Psylocke, Rogue, and Wolverine.  The premise is also pretty solid:  the Shadow King is scheming, seemingly killing lesser psychics in his attempt to enter our world.  He then tries to possess Psylocke since she's stronger, but she manages to call for help, hence the all-star lineup.  Archangel and Bishop agree to stay with Psylocke to protect her while she sends the rest of the team onto the Astral Plane to take on the Shadow King.  I'm perfectly content with this start, though I did have some questions about the status quo of several of the characters.  For example, I initially thought Angel and Archangel were still two separate entities, but I was reminded after reading the Marvel Database of the events of "Apocalypse Wars," where they were united.  However, I thought this new Angel still wasn't the same person as the old Angel; he didn't have old Angel's memories or personality.  Soule necessarily deny that, but he does depict enough chemistry between Betsy and Warren that you have to wonder.  I also hadn't realized Bishop had returned from the desolate Earth where Cable stranded him at the end of "Homecoming."  But, again, the Internet tells me otherwise.  This confusion means it probably is time some of these characters returned to the mainstream, so I already feel like Soule has achieved what he intended here.  ResurrXion indeed.

Mighty Thor #21:  Aaron seems to imply both War Thor's hammer and Jane Foster's hammer are scheming against them, pushing Volstagg to kill when he doesn't want to do so and encouraging Thor to sacrifice her health by appealing to her decency.  I'm intrigued to see where he goes with this idea.

Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #2:  I can't say Zdarsky hits a home run here.  Some aspects of the plot are completely ridiculous.  For example, I still don't buy Peter going on a date as Spider-Man.  He may have tried to do that as a 16-year-old, but he's a grown-ass man now.  It's irresponsible, as his date herself notes when she observes it's more dangerous for her to be on a date with Spider-Man than it would be his alter ego.  (Peter argued he stayed in costume because people who know his identity get hurt.)  Also, Riri apparently can't trace the phone Peter gave her but she can trace the "environmentals."  She "scanned" every component of the phone and the "lowest layer of particulates" tells her the phone came from somewhere in a specific square block in Lower East Manhattan.  Tha fuck?  Can she also bend space and time?  I mean, seriously.  Why not just have her find a way to trace the supposedly untraceable phone?  As the writer, you don't have to create such a fakakta method for her tracking down the Kingpin (the owner of the phone).  But, all that said, Zdarsky does a marvelous job of getting down Peter's voice.  He's a little too adolescent at times, but, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm actually reading about Peter Parker and not whoever that guy in "Amazing Spider-Man" is.  We get a focus on him as a person, from his friendship with Johnny to his relationship with his "sister."  It's comforting and something we've been missing for a long time.  Moreover, Kubert makes it all look great. If Zdarsky could tone down the sophomoric behavior a bit, I think this title could easily become the Spider-Man title for me.

Spider-Man 2099 #25:  Only Peter David could wrap up the loose ends of this series (and the preceding ones) so well.  As expected, Miguel survives his foretold "death" because Strange teleports him from the moment he dies to the "present" -- brilliantly, New Year's Eve 2100 -- removing any possibility of a time paradox.  But, how we get there is equally brilliant.  Miguel learns he dies saving Tempest in 2017, and Gabri and he (though, notably, not Tempest) agree he has to return to the past to make sure it happens exactly that way.  He does, and we learn Tempest kills him:  Tyler programmed a post-hypnotic suggestion for her to kill him the minute he kisses her.  She also immediately forgets it was her, and Miguel fades to his death hiding that from her.  But, before he saved Tempest, he had sent Roberta to 2099 after confirming it had returned to the way it was.  Gabri apparently traveled to the future to tell Roberta about Miguel's fate, and she had Strange pull him to 2099 the minute he "died."  (I'm not sure how Gabri knew who Roberta was, but I'll ignore that part.)  All's well that ends well!  Including the initial 12-issue run of this series and "Secret Wars" 2099, this issue brings to a close a 42-issue series that introduced Miguel to a new group of fans.  I sincerely hope Marvel pulls the trigger on "Defenders 2100" so we can see what David didn't show us, namely, what the 2099 (now 2100) world looks like.  David also didn't wrap up all the loose ends.  Although we know Tempest and Gabri traveled to 2019 to prevent Tyler Stone from destroying New York (and creating the timeline Miguel was trying to prevent from coming into reality), we don't know why they became time travelers in the first place.  After all, in 2019, Gabri would be no more than two years old.  When's their "real" time?  It may explain why Gabri knew about Roberta, but we don't know for sure.  I'm also not entirely sure why Miguel's presence in the past opened the door to Tyler trying to destroy 2019, something he allegedly wouldn't have done if Miguel hadn't traveled to the past.  But, I'm willing just to concede it did somehow.  David lays the foundation for future shenanigans as well, as Miguel ends the series doubting his ability not to contact Tempest and Gabri.  Fingers crossed Marvel lets him.

X-Men:  Blue #7-#8:  First, who the fuck is Briar Raleigh?  Also, when the fuck did she start paying for the Mansion?  I don't recall seeing her at all in "X-Men Gold," and you'd figure Kitty would be dancing a jig over someone paying for the Mansion.  Also, when the fuck did Havok become Magneto?  I mean, he's not physically Magneto.  But, you could replace him with 1980s Magneto here and his dialogue would perfectly match.  In addition to these mysteries weighing down the issue, Bunn falls into the unfortunate pitfall of most event tie-ins, not having time to explain why everyone chose the side she or he chose.  Firestar is suddenly part of the New Tian strike force?  Has she ever really associated with the mutants?  For that matter, Marrow is totally OK with New Tian?  Shouldn't she view it as one more example of mutants failing other mutants by allowing humans to live there?  As a result, all the fights feel random.  I like the sexual tension between Jean and Jimmy, but everything else just feels poorly aligned.

Also Read:  Ms. Marvel #20; U.S.Avengers #8

Not-Very-Deep Thoughts: The June 21 Spider-Affinity Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #1:  Teresa Parker!  I can't say this issue is perfect:  Peter recounting his origin story to Johnny Storm made absolutely no sense.  Moreover, we're in pet peeve #3 territory here, where Peter acknowledging it makes no sense doesn't make it better.  But, it's not the only problem.  It makes even less sense Peter would agree to go on a date as Spider-Man.  I get Zsardsky is going for an easy and fun vibe here, and, sure, hilarity may ensue.  But, seriously, disbelief can be suspended only so much.  But, I'm willing to put aside all that for the great art from Kubert (he can draw Johnny Storm whenever he wants) and the return of Teresa Parker from "Spider-Man:  Family Business."  Waid managed to make Teresa feel like an honest-to-goodness character (and not just a convenient plot device) in that graphic novel, and I've been waiting for her to return.  A light-hearted series about Spidey's downtime doesn't necessarily seem the right place, but we'll see where Zsardsky goes.

Spider-Man 2099 #24:  Honestly, only Peter David comes close to telling a time-travel story that remotely makes sense.  Miguel, the other Spider-Man 2099 and Tempest manage to grab one of the members of the mob trying to attack them before fleeing somewhere safe to interrogate him.  The other Spider-Man 2099 is able to control "arachnonauts" that force the man to tell the truth:  his phone told him to attack them.  They learn Aisa was using a popular app to control people's minds, and Lyla eventually figures out Aisa is the Fate Atropos.  She's trying to kill off humanity because she's sick of humanity fucking up everything on its way to eventually annihilating itself.  Honestly?  It's a pretty solid motive.  Miguel tries to defeat her, but she decides to off him, even though she usually likes to give her opponent a sporting chance.  However, Miguel doesn't have a thread in this reality because...he's already dead.  Aisa escapes, and Tempest later confirms Miguel did die.  Miguel refuses to learn how he dies before May 15, 2019, because he's afraid that information will again screw up 2099.  After all, at this point, he's got the hope he's managed to restore the 2099 he knew (even if, as I've mentioned ad nauseum, it's not necessarily the one we knew).  Peter ends with the surprise that the mysterious Spider-Man 2099 is Gabriel...Miguel's son with Tempest.  Dun-dun-DUN!  It's hard to believe David wrapped up this story so well, but it is really solid.  Aisa's motivation makes sense, her plan would've realized said motivation, and the team stops her in a believable way.  All win!  At this point, we have two loose ends.  First, we have Miguel himself.  It seems to me Miguel doesn't really have to die to recreate his 2099 timeline:  he just has to leave the past timeline at exactly the point he would've died, returning to his present timeline at exactly the point he left.  In so doing, you wouldn't encounter any paradoxes:  he's where he's supposed to be at the time he's supposed to be.  Second, we have Gabriel.  Gabriel is a grown man here, something he wouldn't be on May 15, 2019.  As such, two things clearly happen:  1) Gabriel is raised outside our timeline, possibly by Miguel and Tempest in the future, and 2) Tempest at some point becomes a superhero, possibly after Miguel dies.  I have full faith Peter David will answer that question since, after all, it's Peter David.

Not-Very-Deep Thoughts: The May 3 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Free Comic Book Day 2017 (Secret Empire) #1:  This issue doesn't really provide a lot of material to review.  At first I thought it was a preview of the heroes' final conflict with Captain Nazi and Hydra.  However, after reading "Secret Empire" #1, it's actually showing the heroes' initial conflict with them, setting up the establishment of the totalitarian state that we see fully formed in "Secret Empire" #1.  The most interesting part is Captain Nazi picking up Thor's hammer.  Spencer is clearly toying with us here, holding out the idea Steve is still Steve, as he's said all along.  I'll address that more directly in the next section, but it's staking out some pretty strong territory.

Secret Empire #1:  OK, here we go.

Before I read the issue, I thought about the task Spencer has before him.  Given the string of incredibly disappointing cross-over events Marvel has imposed upon us lately, I have to admit said task seems Herculean.  First, he can no longer avoid spelling out why Steve believes in Hydra.  So far, Steve has simply stated Hydra can make "us" stronger, but he hasn't ever explained why he thinks we're weak.  Is it because homosexuals and women have rights?  Is it because Black Lives Matter exists?  Does he think Mexicans are stealing our jobs?  After all, Spencer has to remember the public outrage over this heel turn comes because he's saying Steve has been Hydra all along.  If he was simply under the Cosmic Cube's influence, we could easily accept this cognitive dissidence.  But, Spencer has gone to pains to say he's always been a Hydra plant.  As such, Steve supported Hydra throwing in its lot with the Nazis, even though they were supporting a genocidal regime.  How can he still be worthy of lifting Thor's hammer?  Spencer has so far waved his hands in front of the blackboard on that point, but he really can no longer ignore it.  Second, Spencer has to improve upon recent history when it comes to cross-over events.  Even the likes of Matt Fraction and Jeff Lemire have been brought low by an event that spiraled beyond their control.  (Marvel invoking the memory of "Fear Itself" with Steve picking up Thor's hammer may not have been a great idea.)  We've already endured "Civil War II" and "Inhumans vs. X-Men" in the last year.  Both those events are good examples for Spencer on how not to run a cross-over event.  (To whit, if the central conflict could easily be resolved by a phone call, it's a problem.)  But, it's been so long since we had a good event that I can't even point to an example for how he should manage one.

The good news is Spencer starts strong, mirroring the excellent first issue of "Age of Ultron" by starting in media res.  Instead of Ultron destroying the world, Steve and Hydra taking over the United States is a fait accompli.  Steve's top priority is finding the Cosmic Cube to "correct" history, but, in the meantime, he uses his dictatorial powers to impose his version of history on the people.  Spencer starts the issue by showing us schoolchildren "learning" it was Arnim Zola, not Abraham Erskine, who created the Super-Soldier Serum; it's suitably chilling.  Spencer then goes a step further; when the teacher reminds the students to dime out anyone who could be a traitor, one of the students reports that another students' older brother is acting "weird."  It turns out the older brother is an Inhuman; Hydra forces storm his house almost immediately after the report, and he's sent to a detention center for Inhumans.

At this point, Spencer pulls back the camera and we get a better sense of the larger status quo.  The mutants have seemingly avoided the Inhumans' fate by creating a nation of their own in the Pacific Northwest; it's called New Tian and seems to be run by Zorn, of all people.  Meanwhile, Carol is still stuck outside the Shield trying to hold off the Chitauri, and Las Vegas has become the site of the resistance, led by Hawkeye and Black Widow.  Spencer does a solid job of conveying emotion despite this rushed tour of the situation, as Hawkeye starts to crack under the pressure of the war of attrition he's fighting with Hydra.  Our eyes and ears here is the new Patriot we saw in "Captain America:  Sam Wilson."  He has contacted the Champions with information Rick Jones somehow gave him (Spencer doesn't elaborate how).  He claims it can save Steve, but Iron Man (or, at least, A.I. Iron Man) is skeptical.  Tony exposits for us that they've tried many times to prove Steve was a clone or under Faustus' mind control or something.  After suffering many casualties in these efforts, they eventually had to accept reality:  Steve is Steve.  Meanwhile, the Hydra Council pushes Steve to be more evil than he wants to be, and Elisa puts her finger on the problem:  they'll think he's weak if he doesn't take a harder line on traitors, but they'll know he's weak if he does.  Ultimately, he does; he has Rick Jones executed, and he orders Hydra to destroy Las Vegas.

Overall, the story...is actually pretty solid.  First, when Tony is talking about the various assaults on Steve, McNiven makes the "casualties" indistinct.  As far as I can tell, we never see, like, Iceman with a beam through his skull.  One of the problems with "Age of Ultron" was that it was pretty clear from the start this reality was going to get rewritten (as cool as it would've been for that not to happen).  Here, Marvel seems to hold out the possibility we're playing for keeps.  Rick Jones dying isn't that big of a deal; after all, we killed off Bruce Banner and (more or less) Tony Stark in "Civil War 2."  Even if we know -- as Marvel has repeatedly told us -- that Steve will be the freedom-lovin' hunk he's always been at the end of the event, it's not to say other parts of the Marvel Universe won't be a smoking crater of woe.  The longer Marvel can convince us of that, the more exciting this event will be.

Champions #8:  I love, love, love that Mark Waid gives Nova a win here by making him the only member of the team not gazing at his navel.  Everyone else was acting, well, adolescent, fretting about the Freelancers copywriting their name.  Only Nova realized the answer was simply telling people not to buy the stuff.  Bam, problem solved!  It seemed so simple, but Waid did a really great job of showing us why it was so hard for the rest of the team to get there.

Hawkeye #6:  I love everything about this issue.  The plot is almost irrelevant.  (Dahlia is an Inhuman; she emerged from her cocoon looking amazing, but she's also a dragon.  Brad promised her a new body but couldn't deliver.  He's an asshat.  Kate is going to put her in touch with the Inhumans.)  Thompson has given Kate such a very clear voice, it's a joy to spend time with her.  Also, Pizza Dog is back!  Hurrah!  The only thing I didn't understand is how Kate knew about the LMD angle.  Thompson shows us Kate's conspiracy board, where the acronym LMDs appear near her father's name.  I think we don't yet know why she made that connection; Thompson had to show it to us simply so we knew the connection existed.  It's a reminder how deep of a story Thompson is telling, because Kate knows a lot that we don't yet know.  But, we all know Brad is an asshat.  That part is clear.

Nova (2017) #6:  Ho, boy.  Loveness and Pérez reveal the truth about Richard's escape from the Cancerverse.  After years of dying at the hands of the Revengers in battle after battle, Rich eventually pours the entirety of the Nova Force into the Cosmic Cube he used to seal off the Cancerverse from our Universe.  He uses the revived Cube to open a portal to our Universe, inadvertently leaving behind the Worldmind as he escaped.  The Worldmind has now adapted, seemingly taken over all "life" in the Cancerverse.  As expected, Sam arrives to save Rich, but the Worldmind has already absorbed him.  Rich is in trouble, y'all.

Spider-Gwen #19:  With the conclusion of the pretty awesome cross-over event with "Spider-Man," Latour returns to this series' ongoing concern, namely restoring Gwen's powers.  The path he lays out here is...complicated.  If I'm following correctly, Matt Murdoch secretly recruited one of Norman Osborn's scientists, the foreshadowingly named Dr. Elsa Brock, to examine the radioactive isotope Frank Castle gave Osborn several issues ago.  (Latour reminds us Frank agreed to sweep Harry's crimes under the rug in exchange for Osborn unlocking the secrets of the isotope.  But, as Murdoch notes, Castle is now a fugitive, so Harry is still out there dangling in the wind.)  Brock informs us that Cindy Moon's research into the alien "spider parasites" that infected Jesse Drew (as seen in the "Spider-Women" event) led Curt Connors to develop his Lizard Formula.  (I'm not sure if we really have enough information about how Connors developed the Formula to make this connection on our own.  Was that also in "Spider-Women?"  I guess I should just assume it was.)  Given this connection between the radioactive isotope and the Formula, Brock thought she could use the former as a cure for the latter.  It worked, but not how she expected.  Instead of burning out the Formula's regenerative powers, the mixture created "venom."  (DUN-dun-DUN!)  It absorbs and amplifies the isotope, but unfortunately kills the host through the radiation it emits.  However, Gwen's body is immune to the radiation:  if she injects herself with the venom, she'll get back her powers, since its side effect is powers similar to the ones she had.  (That makes sense, given her powers and the venom come from the same source.)  Murdoch wants to infect Harry with the isotope, use the interaction between the formula in his bloodstream and the isotope to create the venom, and then draw out the venom in the process.  At this point, they can then inject Gwen with the venom and everyone's problems are solved:  Gwen gets back her powers, the venom has a home, Harry is cured, and Norman is happy.  Gwen asks what Murdoch gets from it, but he doesn't answer.  At any rate, feeling she has no choice but to help Harry, she agrees and heads to Madripoor, where Matt's Hand has located Harry.  In previous series, I feel like it's exactly this sort of complicated plot that made me dislike Latour, because it was rare that I understood all the steps that got us to the conclusion.  But, here, I get it, and I'm admittedly excited about it.  Latour could go a lot of different directions, building some genuine suspense.  Also, Wolverine!

Spider-Man 2009 #23:  David gets right to the point, as Miguel travels to May 15, 2019 to stop the disaster that sets the stage for the alternate future he's trying to prevent.  (That said, I still don't understand how it's connected to the actual future he's trying to resurrect, since someone clearly happened to turn New York into Nueva York.  But, I digress.)  He stumbles upon the cause:  a terminally ill Tyler Stone wants to release a virus that kills millions, though we're still not sure what his motivation is.  (I think it's just to be an asshole.)  Miguel tries to stop him, but the future Sinister Six get in his way.  However, Honey Bee -- i.e., Tempest in her insect form -- arrives and grabs the vial.  She's distracted when she sees Miguel, who she calls Spider-Man, and Tyler shoots her, regaining control over the vial.  However, seemingly the original version of Miguel -- in his original costume -- stabs him, and Tyler orders Aisa to release New York against the heroes.  It's now "our" Miguel, seemingly original Miguel, and Honey Bee against New York.  I'm not sure how the Fist got control over New Yorkers or where we go from here, but it seems like we're getting there soon.

X-Men:  Gold #3:  Guggenheim is really building momentum here.  First, Kitty is a bad-ass to the max, from coldly telling the students the rescue mission isn't a field trip (after Rockslide complains she only took him and Armor with the team) to using her powers to save Amara as the Brotherhood's HQ explodes.  But, she's at her best when she threatens Lydia Nance.  During their confrontation, Rachel gleaned from Mesmero's mind that  hired him to form the Brotherhood of "Evil" Mutants to further her own ends.  Professor X might've delivered some sort of speech about looking past their differences; Kitty threatens Nance and makes sure she knows she's being threatened.  We've got a new sheriff in town, folks.

Also Read:  Spider-Man #16

Not-Very-Deep Thoughts: The April 12 Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #26:  Ugh.  I put this issue on the bottom of my digital pile because I was dreading reading it, and my Terrible-Sense was right.  Slott just continues this series' downward spiral here.  First, he has serious issues staying consistent when it comes to the plot.  Last issue, it seemed the world was annoyed with Parker Industries over its use of Webware to defeat the Carrion virus, because it showed Webware was wonky.  Peter didn't want to reveal the truth for reasons that made no sense to me, as I described in my review of that issue.  But, in this issue, people do seem to know why he used the Webware, but it doesn't matter because they're still angry at him.  But, I don't have time to worry about nagging loose ends from the "Clone Conspiracy," because this arc presents its own set of nonsensical developments.  Silver Sable refuses to reveal how she's alive, but tells Peter that Norman Osborn is in cahoots with a Symkarian countess to produce all his new weapons there.  (We learn Norman's "expo" was a display of his new weapons, from Goblin gliders to a giant robot, for the criminal leaders he contacted last issue.  I'm still not 100% sure why they had to meet him at the Uncle Ben Foundation event and not just the warehouse where he was keeping the weapons, but, again, I've got to prioritize my complaints here.)  Sable wants Spidey's help in wresting control of Symkaria from the countess and Norman, and Peter agrees.  But, S.H.I.E.L.D. decides it makes him a terrorist.  S.H.I.E.L.D.!  Sharon Carter is invading Sokovia in "Captain America:  Steve Rogers" because HYDRA took over the country, but Nick Fury decides Norman -- of all fucking people -- is protected because Symkaria is a sovereign state.  Isn't Sokovia a sovereign state?  Shouldn't the Skull be covered by that logic?  Moreover, it doesn't just mean Fury won't let S.H.I.E.L.D. help Peter dethrone Osborn; he actively deploys S.H.I.E.L.D. to stop him.  Can we just stop and talk about how ridiculous this development is?  Norman is presumably wanted on any number of charges after he illegally tried to invade Asgard in "Siege."  He's wanted on probably even more charges after he declared himself in charge of, like, the world in "New Avengers."  S.H.I.E.L.D. deciding he's totally off-limits because he's now hiding behind a Symkarian countess makes no sense at all.  [Sigh.]  Slott is playing other games in the background, particularly when it comes to Doc Ock, but I just don't fucking care, to be honest.  I gave up reading Spider-Man when Slott went all "Superior Spider-Man," and I may just have to do it again.  Ugh.

Captain America:  Sam Wilson #21:  This series ends (assuming it's ending) the only way it could, with Sam giving up the shield because he doesn't believe in an America that can let what happened to Rage stand.  Spencer doesn't sugarcoat it:  Sam makes it pretty clear he feels like a failure, and he's worried young people will see his farewell video and lose hope.  But, how can they have hope if he doesn't have it?  Sam doesn't have an answer to that question, but Spencer may:  at one point, we see a young man planning out a Patriot costume, and Spencer implies that Sam highlighting the injustice African-Americans face has inspired young people to act.  It might not have been the message Sam thought he'd be sending as Captain America, but it's probably the one he ultimately needed to send.  Meanwhile, Steve wraps up a little bit of business as he has Hauser the muckraker help him murder the founder of Americorps.  Hauser is revealed to be a HYDRA agent, which means all the non-HYDRA agents involved in Steve's plan to undermine Sam have been eliminated.  I'm not sure where Sam goes next, but I have to give credit to Spencer at this point for telling a story that really captures the Zeitgeist.  I feel like this series has consistently been one of the best ones on the shelves, and I hope we don't see Sam disappear into obscurity post-"Secret Empire."

Doctor Aphra #6:  April hasn't been the "Star Wars" franchise's strongest month in the Marvel Universe.  After the disappointing conclusion of the "Yoda's Secret War" arc in "Star Wars," Gillen delivers an equally confusing end to the opening arc of this title.  As far as I can tell, the Ordu Aspectu was some sort of cult within the Jedi Order and eventually went to war with it.  As part of the agreement to end the war, the Jedi could inspect the Ordu Aspectu to make sure they weren't doing anything too heretical.  At this point, the story gets less clear.  Gillen seems to let us chose which truth we want to believe.  On one hand, you can believe the story the computer -- Eternal Rur -- tells us when Aphra and her father activate him.  He was a member of the Ordu Aspectu and tried to copy his consciousness inside a computer to live forever.  However, he wound up transferring his consciousness, leaving an "evil ghost" to possess his body.  When the Jedi came to inspect the Ordu Aspectu under the terms of the agreement, Eternal Rur (the computer) "knew" he had to act because Immortal Rur (the "shell") would deny the "truth."  However, it's also possible Eternal Rur was really just the copy of Immortal Rur's consciousness and became sentient.  In this scenario, he believed himself to be the true Rur, but wasn't; Immortal Rur was the true Rur.  If Eternal Rur was the true Rur, I'm still not sure why the Jedi would pose a problem for him.  After all, if he really was the true Rur, wouldn't the Jedi discover that over the course of their investigation?  Wouldn't they help him deal with the "evil ghost" who controlled his body?  Did he just not trust them?  It makes more sense that he wasn't the true Rur and somehow knew it; then, it would make sense why he had to kill the Jedi before they discovered the truth.  Either way, Eternal Rur has his machines kill everyone, which seems like overkill.  What does it matter if the Jedi believe him if they're all dead?  Immortal Rur stops him only by using his Force powers to remove the crystal powering the control panel.  in other words, I don't really get it.  In the present, Aphra uses a light saber she pulled off a dead Jedi at the citadel to cut through Eternal Rur's systems before it can kill her and her father.  She uses the crystal in the control panel to power the bridge, escaping with her dad and the power core she cut from Rur.  She meets the Imperial captain as they flee and takes her hostage because she needs her ship to escape the self-destruct sequence removing the core activated.  (Black Krrsantan took her ship, the Ark Angel, at the end of last issue).  They escape on the captain's ship, and Gillen wraps up the loose ends in short order.  Aphra lets the captain live because she's "cute," her dad restores her doctorate per their agreement, and she sells the light sabers she pilfered at the Citadel to pay off her debt to the guy on the Cosmantic Steppes.  (I really only vaguely remembers this part of the story, and the time Gillen spends on it in this issue makes me feel like he was definitely writing for the trade.  I also had to Google the quarantine world where Aphra allegedly deposits the core for safe keeping, because I was pretty sure it was where she went to get Triple-Zero's personality matrix.)  All that said, I still smiled when Aphra revealed she kept the core and plans to sell it to pay off her debt to Black Krrsantan.)  It wasn't totally a bad story, but, like "Yoda's Secret War," we ultimately were missing some key pieces to understand the puzzle Gillen was assembling.  We'll see where we go from here.

Spider-Man 2099 #22:  Honestly, this issue is one of the most brilliant ones I've ever read.  At this point in the story David has been telling, it's hard to feel that frisson of excitement, because we're still at the part where David is building the suspense.  But, Lyla tricking Electro into revealing the date when the Fist strikes New York City is so artfully done here I literally gasped when the truth was revealed.  I really did think Lyla had become sentient and turned against Miguel, throwing in her lot with Electro.  In the end, it's revealed she created that sequence in Electro's brain to trick him into revealing the date, but David sold it so well I went there, hook, line, and sinker.  The last few issues have been fine, but David reminds us here how innovative he can be when he puts his mind to it.

Also Read:  X-Men:  Blue #1

Not-Very Deep Thoughts: The March 1 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Clone Conspiracy Omega #1:  First, unless you're really, really invested in Rita Clarkson, the doctor who helped Ben at New U, you can skip this issue entirely.  In the aftermath of last issue, Ben tips off some angry family members to Rita's location so he can be on hand to save her life when they attack her.  In return, Rita goes all damsel-in-distress and hands Ben her IRA since he doesn't have any cash.  (Rita doesn't believe him when he admits he arranged for the guys to attack her.  Apparently doctors can be idiots.)  Shouldn't she be in jail?  Everyone is pretty clear as they're cleaning up the scene of the crime that she's in trouble.  Shouldn't they prevent her from going to her "favorite watering hole?"  At the very least, wouldn't you want to be able to prevent her from withdrawing her life savings, given she's likely a flight risk?  I guess not.  Beyond Rita's story, Slott uses the same shtick he did in the "Amazing Spider-Man" tie-in issues, filling in moments between the scenes in the main series.  The problem is these scenes still make no sense.  Peter is irate with Kaine for not telling him sooner that everyone was going to become Carrion zombies...even though I'm fairly certain he did tell him.  (Is he mad Kaine didn't tell him the clones would dissolve?  Isn't that what clones do?)  Moreover, Ben still suffers from a lack of consistent characterization, even under Peter David.  As you can see in his manipulation of Rita, he's still in full Bond-villain mode here, and I struggle to see why any of us would want to read his new title.  He isn't a nuanced villain, like Dr. Doom or Magneto.  He's as crazy as the original Jackal, and I can only tolerate him every fifty issues or so.  [Sigh.]  Meanwhile, the Rhino has all the sads, the Lizard's family turns into lizards like him, Jerry's wife is suing Peter, the Kingpin gives Peter Norman Osborn's whereabouts, yadda yadda yadda.  Who the fuck cares at this point?

Avengers #5:  I still have no idea what Waid is doing here, but it's fun to look at del Mundo's art so I guess I'll have to live with that.  People seem to love what Waid is doing.  I admit it's super-cool to see the present Avengers interact with the former teams, chosen for how they can help implement Sam's plan to take down Kang.  But, the story still makes no sense to me.  At one point, future Vision claims Sam inspired the Avengers' rallying cry when he said it in front of the original members.  If that's true, why wouldn't they themselves remember that?  Present Wasp never said to Sam, "Hey, did I ever tell you you're the guy who coined 'Avengers Assemble?'  By the way, you become Captain America at some point."  I could also talk about how it makes no sense Kang's minions can "mine" time or how it's unclear how the Avengers identified which links in Kang's billion-year long supply chain were the most essential.  But, I guess I'm just supposed to go with it.  It's like Xena said in that episode of "The Simpsons:"  if something happens that doesn't make sense, a wizard did it!  (Only, this time, the wizard is a synthezoid named Vision, at least in the latter case.)

Hawkeye #4:  OMG, Jessica Jones!  Mentor in awesomeness and private-eyeing!  Twist I did not see coming!  First things first:  frat-boy Greg was the looming figure at the end of last issue.  As suspected, he's been using the TBC stickers to prime hate, allowing him to absorb it and become, in Kate's words, a third-rate Hulk.  In possibly the best denouement of the year, Kate is able to lure him to an outdoor sing-along "Sound of Music" performance, and the positivity that comes with that causes him to de-Hulk.  (Seriously, that's just effing brilliant.  I've never seen that in comics before.  I love the idea of Thompson sitting around thinking, "OK, what's the most positive thing I can imagine?  Positive, positive, positive...")  You'd almost think everything worked out well, as Kate ends the issue happy and with her new crew in place.  Rivera even agrees she's getting a nickname!  But, then we go dark.  Greg asks to see Kate, and he mentions he should've recognized "the resemblance."  Kate believes this comment connects him to her father, and we learn she's in Los Angeles (and stalking surfer Brad) to find her father.  But, Greg blows up before he can say anything else.  (Suspicious.)  Thankfully, when Kate arrives at her apartment, Jessica is there with Brad.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Midnighter and Apollo #6:  I often struggle with violence in comic books.  Modern authors are aware of the challenge this violence presents in a way that, say, Stan Lee wasn't.  But, at some point probably every month, I have a moment where I think, "Why am I reading stories about super-powered beings beating on each other?"  But, Midnighter bottom lines it here rather nicely (and in his boxer-briefs to boot).  He tells Apollo he's going to keep on killing bad guys so people don't have to live without someone they love.  He can't imagine anything worse, after coming close to it in this adventure.  Honestly?  That's a pretty solid reason.  Moreover, we learn Apollo chose his name not because he thought of himself as a sun god, but because Apollo turned his lover Hyacinth into something better when he thought he was going to lose him.  Midnighter doesn't ask for redemption, and Apollo doesn't ask permission to give it to him.  They are who they are, and thank God they are the type of people to play sexy, half-naked chess in their apartment.  In other words?  I fucking love these two.  

Moon Knight #12:  This issue couldn't be more exciting.  Lemire and Smallwood's pacing is really spectacular.  First, we have Marc unexpectedly being joined by his alter egos in the Overvoid, who help him rescue Anput and escape with Crawley.  This entire sequence is amazing, from the smugly bemused look on handsome Steve's face to spaceman Marc facilitating their escape with his spaceship.  (Spaceship!)  It's like a great pulp film come to life.  But, it's Marc's adventures in Saudi Arabia as a mercenary that really leap off the page for their realism.  Lemire is giving us a ring-side seat to Marc's descent into darkness.  Frenchie advises him not to meet the crime lord giving them jobs, but Marc chases the money, wanting more.  When we meet the Bushman, it's clear why Frenchie was nervous.  I've always known Marc was a mercenary when he became Moon Knight, but it was always sort of a throw-away piece of information, like how Peter Parker won a science fair as a kid or something.  It was just part of the background.  But, Lemire is walking us through this period, and it's amazing to watch.  It's really a chance to get to know this character, and I feel like, in the end, I'll be able to call myself a legitimate Moon Knight fan.  That's exciting stuff right there.

Nightwing #16:  The good news is we don't get confirmation Shawn is dead here.  The bad news is the guy who seems to have kidnapped her calls himself Deathwing so her survival isn't looking so good.  The issue starts with Dick taking down a hilariously ridiculous group of criminals called the Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  Lest you think they're all cool like the X-Men's version, they're a bunch of small-time hoods wearing horse-head masks.  (Seriously.)  Dick makes short work of them.  Then, Damian appears suddenly; he's traveled from San Francisco because he's bothered by people on Twitter claiming Dick is the true heir.  He tries to challenge Dick to some sort of duel, but Shawn calls at that moment to tell Dick she may be pregnant.  Dick doesn't have patience for Damian's antics and tackles him, dismissing him as a hormonal teenager.  He picks up a pregnancy test on his way to Shawn's apartment (I'd love to know how exactly he swung that in his costume) and discovers Shawn is missing.  He's distraught just as Damian arrives, having followed him.  This next part is amazing as Damian apologizes in his way:  he tells Dick he's sorry they fought and urges Dick to apologize for being terse.  Seeley gets Damian, y'all.  At any rate, Dick leaves Damian again, but Damian finds the pregnancy test and realizes Dick is in trouble.  He meets Dick with their old Batmobile, and Dick realizes he needs help:  as Damian said, he's emotional and he's going to get himself killed without Damian.  It's touching in the way it's always touching with these guys:  it's not like they ever hug, but the love is there.  Moreover, Seeley makes it clear why Dick is going to need Damian.  As I mentioned, the perpetrator of the kidnapping is a guy named Deathwing.  We meet him at the scene of the crime Dick stopped at the start of this issue.  He's now  killed the Horsemen and the cops Dick had someone call to arrest them.  This guy is definitely playing for keeps.

Spider-Man 2099 #21:  I'll admit we have a lot going on here.  Electro 2099 is after Sonny, probably on behalf of the Fist and probably because Sonny knows something he shouldn't know.  However, he has amnesia, though it's not clear to me the Fist knows that.  Miguel manages to save Sonny and capture Electro.  He plans on interrogating Electro into telling him when the Fist attacks Times Square, and we learn it's this attack that destroys New York and allows Nueva York to be built.  However, I'm still a little confused by this revelation.  First, if Miguel knows the Fist attack creates Nueva York, then it can't be the event that altered his future; it's the event that essentially created his future.  After all, the reason he's stuck in the present is because his 2099 was eliminated.  Maybe this attack creates Roberta's 2099 not Miguel's 2099?  If so, it makes sense she knows the Fist attack that created Nueva York in her 2099.  But, again, if Miguel knows about it, it doesn't seem to be relevant to his goal of re-engineering his 2099.  In fact, he has to let it happen.  If it is the event to create the alternate future (possibly Roberta's), then we still don't know how Miguel created the Fist in the past.  Since they already exist, it implies this action-forcing event has already taken place, but it's unclear what it is.  As I said, it's a lot.

Star Wars #29:  This story has been on a slow burn, but Aaron throws some kerosene on the fire in this issue.  The concept of "stonepower" as the syncretic version of the Force has been intriguing, mostly because its practitioners could obviously learn a thing or two from Yoda.  They do so here, but it's not the lesson Yoda wanted them to learn.  After he discovers the stone the Rockhawkers prize is part of a living mountain, he re-awakens the mountain.  We learn he's the last remaining giant who used to live on this world, before the power-hungry humans reduced them to rubble.  Yoda and Garro leave the mountain as its lava (i.e., blood) starts flowing, and Garro reveals its secret to his fellow Rockhawkers as a way of getting in good with them again.  A disappointed Yoda returns to the Muckwhackers to prepare them for war, correctly predicting the Rockhawkers will send the revived mountain after the Muckwhackers .  But, Aaron kicks up the story a notch when Luke arrives on the planet in the present to learn the fate of the mountain.  (No, he didn't finish the story first.  Is that a convenient device?  Yes, yes, it is.  But, is Luke also enough of an impatient idiot to make it believable?  Yes, yes,  he is.)  An older Garro -- the man we likely saw last issue talking to Ben on Tatooine -- greets him, telling Luke he's the last of the Rockhawkers and he's going to help him end the war.  Given the body of the giant is buried in the sand next to where they're standing, I'm intrigued to see exactly how Luke is going to do that.

Also Read:  Batman #18; Champions #6