Uncanny Avengers #5 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

If you look at this five-issue series on its own merits, it's hard to say that Remender accomplished anything good here.

Above all else, we're left with no firm resolution on Pietro and Wanda's origins.  They apparently accept the High Evolutionary's story that they're the children of Django and Marya Maximoff and that he altered their genetic structures to give them their powers.  But, his story is full of all sorts of holes.  For example, we're not told why he chose the Maximoffs in the first place or why he gave the twins the powers that he did.  The Vision hints at "hidden truths" that he gleaned from reading the Evolutionary's files and they presumably fill in these gaps.  However, he decides not to share said truths with Wanda because he fears that they will break here.  If Remender had accomplished anything good in this short series, this part would've overshadowed it, since he just reverted Wanda to a character that he himself had thankfully put to rest.  She had become such a stronger character under him, and it's hard to understand why he would leave her as essentially the "Avengers Disassembled" version of herself here.

But, the whole point of this series is that you shouldn't take it on its own merits.  Its goal was clearly to ret-con the twins' history so that they were no longer mutants and thus so that Marvel could use them in its fight with Fox.  If you go into this series with that approach, then it all makes sense.  In fact, it suddenly makes sense why the Vision doesn't reveal the truth, because the truth itself is irrelevant.  It also doesn't matter that Vision had a blink-and-you'll-miss-it relationship (and children) with some sort of android or that Brother Voodoo, Cap, Rogue, and Sabretooth could've almost literally been any other characters for all the impact that they have.  This series is a means to that end and, unfortunately, little more.

** (two of five stars)

Uncanny Avengers #4 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Man, this series just continues to bum me out.  Each issue reads like it was written by a committee of editorial staff members implementing the Front Office's war with Fox and not by the guy currently writing "All-New Captain America."

This issue brings us the details of the ret-con of Pietro and Wanda's birth, alleging that the High Evolutionary kidnapped them, genetically engineered them, and then returned them to their parents.  The Evolutionary himself provides this history, though he elides over important details, like why he chose them in particular or why he gave them the powers that he did.  (Wasn't he at the time simply creating New Men from animals?)  All we do learn is that he learned from the mistakes that he made in creating them and used that lesson to create Luminous.  Given that Luminous is likely to join the trash heap of forgotten characters used to ret-con an established character's history, it's small comfort.

Meanwhile, the High Evolutionary ("High") is in the middle of his war with the Low ("Low") Evolutionary, and I still couldn't tell you anything about Low.  Remender keeps presenting him like we should know more about him, but I'm honestly at a loss.  All I know is that he finds High reprehensible.  I guess that's enough for a battle in comic books.

This series is the only one that I'm glad to see ending with the coming of "Secret Wars."  Hopefully it'll give Remender some time to get his head in the game as editorial interference moves elsewhere.

** (two of five stars)

Uncanny Avengers #3 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Honestly, I just have zero interest in the story that Remender is telling here.  The High Evolutionary created Pietro and Wanda?  Why?  If the goal was to trial run their powers to create Luminous, why he did he chose such divergent powers like chaos magic and super-speed?  Does Luminous need those specific powers to further some sort of plan?  Also, are we really supposed to believe that someone so inexperienced could use those powers better than Pietro and Wanda can?  I don't care how brutish Counter-Earth is, she can't possible be a veteran of as many battles as they are.  Also, I just don't get the Low Evolutionary business?  How is he "unperfect?"  (This joke flew way over my head, by the way.  If anyone understood it, let me know.)  I just don't know what I'm supposed to think about any of it.  

* (one of five stars)

Uncanny Avengers #2 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Oy.

For the time being, Remender clearly wants us at least to pretend to believe that Magneto may not be Pietro and Wanda's father.  (Even the intro page doesn't seem totally convinced.)  After all, Pietro and Wanda are on Counter-Earth to get more information, and Remender clearly also wants us to believe that the High Evolutionary has the information that they seek.  First, he refers to the twins as "masquerading" as mutants and then reveals that they have a sister named Luminous; the Evolutionary sends her to kill the twins, though I'm still not entirely sure why he's so threatened by their presence.  After all, he already just committed genocide.  What would the twins stop him from doing?

Moreover, we learn more about the Evolutionary himself.  Brother Voodoo communes with the spirits of previous generations of New Men that the Evolutionary has slaughtered in his drive for perfection.  His daughter, Doniva, tells Voodoo that he killed her when she tried to stop him from continuing the cycle where he creates and then kills generations of New Men.  In addition, the Evolutionary sends Sabretooth to his chief scientist so that they can replicate his hunting abilities to find the Evolutionary's son.

Added to the mix, we've also got someone calling himself the Low Evolutionary.  He and his squad are clearly dedicated to stopping the Evolutionary's occasional cullings, and he seems to think that Pietro and Wanda can help him with that.

It all seems pretty straight-forward, though a lot of motives are  unclear to me.  For example, the Evolutionary killed the New Men because they felt emotions like greed and love.  But, Remender doesn't offer any insight into why the Evolutionary would find emotions themselves as unacceptable failures of evolution.  We also don't know anything about the Low Evolutionary and his squad, particularly how a group of humans came to Counter-Earth and why they committed to saving the New Men.

Without these insights, everyone is reduced to archetypes, with the High Evolutionary as the unfeeling villain and the Low Evolutionary as the intrepid revolutionary.  When you add in there the tired "mystery" over the twins' origins, it's not exactly the type of story that makes me anxious waiting a month until the next issue.

** (two of five stars)

Uncanny Avengers #1 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Seeing Acuna's art, I was immediately depressed, since I was reminded of how awesome this series was before "Avengers & X-Men:  Axis" sent us into an unfamiliar world where Remender suddenly became Chuck Austen.  Unfortunately, this issue doesn't really restore my faith in Remender's storytelling.

First, the team is odd.  Rogue and the Scarlet Witch are our only veterans from the first team; the absence of Havok, Steve Rogers, Thor, and Wolverine is a reminder of how much trauma the team has suffered.  The addition of Quicksilver and Vision certainly ups the drama component, given their tenuous relationships with Wanda; Sam checks off the necessary "Captain America" box.  Between the three of them, they round out the Avengers component pretty well.

The problem is with the remaining two characters.  Sabretooth is really the only other "X-Men" besides Rogue; Pietro and Wanda might be mutants, but they've never been X-Men.  He's only here because of his persistent inversion, an unwelcome sign that Remender has no intention of sweeping "Avengers & X-Men:  Axis" under the rug, as I'd hoped he would do.  I would've much rather have seen Shiro or someone actually recognizable as an X-Men.  After all, if the point of the team is to build trust with the world by showing that humans and mutants can work together, it seems odd to chose a guy who only a few days ago was a homicidal maniac.  Sure, Pietro, Rogue, and Wanda have all been villains, but they've also got years as heroes under their belt.  Sabretooth became a hero almost literally yesterday.  It's a bit of a stretch.  I don't even know what to say about Doctor Voodoo.  I have no idea why we've decided to embrace one of Bendis' more half-assed decisions when he was writing the Avengers books.  Voodoo has always been a poor fit for the team, and Remender makes it worse here by clearly struggling with his voice.  Couldn't we have brushed off Amanda Sefton or some other sorcerer connected to the X-Men?  Amanda Sefton and Sunfire would've sufficiently met the X-Men quotient; Doctor Voodoo and Sabretooth do not.

To make matters worse, the plot is bizarre.  Actually, that's not entirely accurate.  The plot itself is pretty straight-forward:  rattled from the revelation that Magneto isn't their father, the Twins seek out the High Evolutionary in his hiding place on Counter-Earth to get answers.  But, the execution is muddled.  Remender relies on the old trope of a botched teleportation to scatter the teammates throughout Counter-Earth.  I just gritted my teeth through the last three or four issues of "All-New X-Men" as the team has struggled to find each other; I'm not sure that I can do it again.

In other words, blech.  I'm not buying the team, and I'm not thrilled with the story.  It's not the greatest of starts.

** (two of five stars)