Twelve-Month-Old Comics!: The February 8 Edition - Part 1 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #19:  The only problem with this issue is that it makes me pine for Kelly and Dodson to take over this title.  

Unlike Wells, Kelly manages to mix comedy with action and drama in an organic way throughout the issue.  Deciding to take their relationship to the next level, Felicia and Peter unexpected find Mary Jane and Paul at the same upstate spa.  (Hilariously, Felicia and Paul have a sotte voce conversation about using a Snapshot groupon.)  

Kelly milks the tension for all its worth, from Peter clutching shut his robe (and Felicia, to Paul's discomfort, reminding Peter that both she and Mary Jane has seen him naked) to Peter finally opening his robe to reveal "Here, Kitty, Kitty" boxer shorts.  Ha!  The comedic awkwardness also advances the plot as Felicia tells Peter that he needs to be honest with her (and himself) about his feelings for Mary Jane.  It's always fun when Felicia is the responsible adult.

Moreover, this tension isn't just the issue's point, as it so often is in Wells' stories.  Instead, it's the backdrop of Peter and Felicia discovering that White Rabbit has stolen gear that mimics the Sinister Six's powers.  She's dating a genius, Mychal, who installed safeties on the gear so they can rent it to rich tech bros to play "The Greatest Game," super-villain style.  Honestly?  I'm surprised this scenario hasn't played out yet in the real world.  Kelly's gift for comedy remains on full display throughout the action as Peter gets into a genius pissing contest as the bros trying to figure out how his Web-Shooters work, resulting in Felicia telling him to stop Spideysplaining to "entitled felons."

But it isn't all giggles and laughs as Mychal winds up dead and the bro seem to want to kill Spider and Felicia as they take off the safeties.

[Sigh.]  If only we got such a multifaceted story every moth...I guess I'll have to enjoy it while I can.

Batman #132:  Zdarsky throws us right into the mystery here as the issue begins with Bruce shadowing Jewel as she tries to save people from getting sent to Arkham.  

As they patrol the streets, Bruce learns that Judge Dent sent Jewel's father to Arkham due to his grief over her mother's death from cancer.  Jewel recognizes Bruce is having a hallucination (he's staring at Jimbo from last issue) and tells him that they aren't from "multiversal travel" (as Bruce thought) but from "Crane Brain," a drug the authorities pump into the air to find more victims for Arkham.  She gives Bruce pills that block the drug's effect and tells Bruce that Halliday Industries produces the pills at Athena Tower.  Bruce realizes that Halliday might have taken over the role that Wayne Enterprises played in his Gotham so heads there.

In an interlude, Red Mask visits Dent, who's stewing about the possibility that Bruce is out there.  In a show of power, Red Mask de-Venomizes Dent, shrinking him into a skeletal version of himself.  Red Mask demands Dent find Bruce, treating to take away his "gift" more permanently.

Bruce begins to show uncharacteristic signs of emotional trauma as he talks to Jewel.  He makes her eggs, and she's amazed at how good they are.  He comments on how his sons were always hungry, and an old friend taught him how to make them.  Later, Jewel works with Bruce to develop a persona so he can attend Halliday's upcoming fundraiser where, of course, Bruce encounters Selina.  She exposits for us that this world's Bruce Wayne gave up his billions to become a social worker before his presumed death.  She points out Halliday in the crowd...and it's the Joker.  Man, I did *not* see that coming.  Before Bruce (or we) can process that, Punchline arrives, and she and Selina attack.  Killer Croc joins the fun, and Bruce realizes he's in trouble.  He takes out Croc and marvels how the wealthy Athena Tower residents don't even flinch at the violence.

Then he sees Alfred.  At the issue's start, we saw that this world's Alfred is in a relationship with Leslie Thompkins, and it's clear that he used the money Bruce left him to buy their safety in the Tower.  Bruce shakes off the idea that it's *his* Alfred or *his* Selina, but he's distracted enough for a cop to shoot him, propelling him out the building.  Bruce falls through a warehouse skylight and, lying on the floor, confesses to himself that he misses his "sons" and "his" Selina.  It's a heartbreaking moment, but he tells himself that any Gotham is his Gotham.  Stumbling through the streets, Bruce tries to help someone fight off one of Judge Dent's cops but gets his ass handed to him.  In one of Zdarksy's most brilliant moments, as Bruce lays bleeding in the alley, he sees a bat and decides, "I shall become a bat."  Damn, this series is on fire.

The back-up story is just as good.  We learn that Toyman went on a rampage before he died, and the gun he used - the one Failsafe used on Batman - either turned people into toy versions of themselves or dissipated them.  Tim examines one of the toys and realizes that it's producing multiversal energy.  Correctly realizing that Toyman didn't kill himself but instead sent himself and the disappeared and toy people to another reality, Tim calls Mister Terrific.  

Mister Terrific provides Tim with a new invention, an outfit that creates a tether and discs so the user can travel multiversally.  Tim is surprised when he arrives in a suburban area but quickly tracks down the victims...only for Toyman and his army of toy-ified victims to find him.

In other words, it's great stuff.  If I have one complaint it's that Zdarsky feels like he's rushing a bit.  He probably could've found a way to delay the confrontation at Athena Tower to next issue.  I'm just greedy, though.  I don't want any of it to end.

Blade Runner 2039 #3:  As usual, Johnson does a great job of slowly unspooling the mystery at this series' core.  We don't know everything yet, but we know enough that Ash should be worried.

Ash visits Wojciech in a retirement home; it seems lovely so it's nice to see someone in this series might have a happy ending (hopefully).  Wojciech confirms that she heard rumors about a Replicant Blade Runner but doesn't have any more information about it.  She encourages Ash to leave it be, which we (including Wojciech) know she won't do.

Ash stops by a noodle place before heading to the sticks, and Cleo finds her there because Ash took her there once.  Ash is enraged that Cleo is there, but Cleo tells her that Isobel is missing.  Cleo takes Ash to her penthouse, explaining that they're not rich on Arcadia but money goes further on Earth.  She explains that she's a schoolteacher and married with a son.  She wants to know more about Ash, but Ash is worried about her safety so tells her to stay in the apartment.

At a bar later, Ash is worried about all these "coincidences:"  a Replicant Blade Runner, Cleo on Earth, Isobel in the wind.  Underscoring Ash's senes, Hythe arrives and tells Ash that she met the Replicant Blade Runner.  She hands Ash the data Wallace wants, figuring they'll be safer with her, and Ash saves her right before she's assassinated.  Ash and Hythe then take out two Wallace employees who originally picked up Luv at the issue's start.  

The issue ends with Luv arriving at Cleo's apartment, though I don't know how she realized "Mrs. Calhoun" was Cleo.  She had been reviewing traffic files (as part of her punishment), so maybe a traffic camera identified her?  We'll see.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #10:  Silva is spectacular here, as he walks us through Cap and Nomad trying to take out Falcon in a battle in the sky.  Thankfully, Onyebuchi more or less manages not to get in the way.  

That said, it was incredibly disingenuous to lead us to believe Joaquín killed his grandmother only to reveal that he only fed on the horses.  Moreover, White Wolf goes all pet peeve #3 here as he tells his general that he just wanted to take Joaquín off the board but got lucky when the "chemical" turned him into a vampire.  Does he explain what the chemical is or why he used a chemical instead of just killing Joaquín?  No, no, he doesn't.  

But given how awful the previous issues have been I'm glad I didn't hate this one.  That's where I am with this series.

Know Your Station #3:  I'm still not entirely convinced Marin or St. Brigid isn't behind the murders, but Elise and Marin do establish some baseline criteria for the killer that makes sense.

First thing first, they're called to Vesper Norton's suite where they find his body.  Like the Raulssons, the killer has...arranged it.  Whereas the killer strung up the Raulssons artistically, the killer has drained Norton's blood into hundreds of tiny vials and replaced the blood with Blue.  It's...a lot.  

But it also makes Elise and Marin realize that the killer has pretty advanced medical skills.  They feel like it all points to a staff member, but, as staff members, they don't feel like one of their colleagues did it.  Presumably their motive would be vengeance against an asshole billionaire, but, as Elise says, all the staff know the score so it seems weird one of them would go rogue.  But, given the "celebratory" nature of the killings, it also doesn't feel like a Board member offing other Board members for power.  In other words, they have no idea.

The issue has other strange revelations, like the fact St. Brigid deactivates *all* suite cameras when Elise is on Blue, not just hers.  Also, Elise confesses to Marin that she was a dishwasher with no background in security.  For some reason, though, Raulsson liked her energy when she onboarded and gave her the security job.

The issue ends with all the residents getting a message saying that they're next.  Gailey doesn't have Elise tell Marin that St. Brigid keeps telling her that she was the only person to access the rooms of the previous victims, which is ostensibly the reason why she isn't calling the police.  Marin doesn't trust the police to solve the problem anyway, so he isn't asking.  But at this point it's hard to believe that Elise is going to retain control over this situation much longer.

Six-Month-Old Comics: The January 25 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #18:  OMG, this issue is really one of the worst comics I've ever read.  I just don't know what I can say at this point.  

Instead of Madelyne suggesting to Jean that she facilitate Peter sharing his memories with Ben in a way that won't compromise said memories (like Jean did for Madelyne in "Dark Web:  X-Men" #3), Madelyne just cuts Ben loose and sides with the X-Men.  Oof.

Of course, that said, I *think* Peter's objection to sharing his memories with Ben was that it would cause him to loose said memories, but I don't actually know at this point.  

It all just sucks.  Honestly, I can't believe I'm going to say what I'm going to say, but I'm considering not reading this series anymore.

Dragon Age:  The Missing #1:  This series finally puts aside the increasingly confusing Wraith-related stories and brings back Varic as he and Harding search for Solas.  

Following rumors that Solas is hiding in the Deep Roads, Varic and Harding bump into a pair of Grey Wardens investigating disappearances that started after excavations broke into the Roads.

After helping the Wardens take out the Darkspawn behind the abductions, Varic and Harding find Solas' lair and an invitation to "call upon the Lady Crysanthus" in Vyrantium, where they head next.

I don't have much else to say at this point, other than I'm interested to see where we go.

Justice Society of America #2:  This series isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, and given all the time travel I'd normally put myself in that camp.  But something about Helena leaving the infirmary and walking into the spectacular hotness (and chest hair) of the assembled Society is thrilling to me.  Of course, as I said, it involves time travel, so it's hard to follow at the best of times.

Helena awakens in 1940 and tells the Society that she's from a future where someone murders her Society.  Helena exposits that she recognized the someone as "a man I've seen on the edges of my perisperhal visions since I was ten."  Dr. Fate attempts to peer into her timeline to share her experiences with the group but the same "someone" transports his consciousness into his future 1941 where he and his protégée, Salem the Witch Girl, are trying to find Mister Miracle to free her from her curse.  Instead, they find him fighting Solomon Grundy, though Fate's consciousness is snapped back to 1940 again.

In the present, Catwoman fights the "someone" whom she recognizes as "Degaton," who Wikipedia tells me is an old-school Society enemy.  He refers to "Snow Globe" turning Helena into a "blind spot," which makes no particular sense now but likely will later.  He also exposits that he needs to kill all the Society members for "the ritual" to work, so he clearly needs to track down Helena.  

Anyway, he kills Selina, which Helena can somehow see.  But she's again somehow transfered through time again (with Dr. Fate's symbols in her eyes) and awakens in another alley, this time at Khalid's feet though he doesn't recognize her.  He's joined by Deadman and Detective Chimp.

In other words, it's a lot.  But I'm down with seeing where we go from here if we get more shots of Jay Garrick's eyes.

Sins of Sinister #1:  I stopped reading "Immortal X-Men" with issue #6, but this issue recaps the relevant developments that I assume happened in issues #7-#10:  namely, Sinister compromises the Krakoan DNA database so that every resurrected mutant is secretly subservient to him.  He begins with Charles, Emma, Exodus, and Hope.  

Sinister isn't an idiot, though, so he has the Council put him in the Pit while his pawns carry out his plan:  namely, Krakoa offers humans an X-Gene to get them in the resurrection queue.  Of course, it's a Trojan Horse that will enable Sinister to take over the planet.  Clever, that Sinister.

Thanks to an interstitial page, we learn his ultimate plan is to use Earth's population and the Moira Engine to achieve Dominion status before "hyper-A.I.s" take over the planet.

As he takes over the mutants, he has Sinister-Forge launch an attack from space that fries Krakoa's brain, allowing the mutants to claim to the public that all non-mutant backups were lost.  It therefore encourages more humans to get the X-Gene, accelerating Sinister's takeover.  

We then get a series of splash pages that details the next ten years of Sinister taking out his enemies, like corrupting the Avengers through the X-Gene.  Storm is the only person who eludes capture after she guess something was amiss in the Council and worked out a deal with Lactuca to make sure Sinister couldn't control her.

But it all goes to hell when Sinister discovers someone has stolen his lab and his Moiras.  Ruh-roh.

Over all, it's a solid introduction to this event.  Gillen expertly weaves his story through the X-Men recent status quo, making for a story that feels like it was Hickman's intent from the start.  We'll see where we go from here.

Star Wars:  Yoda #3:  My issue with Yoda has always been that he's so wise yet missed the fact that he was sitting next to Darth Sidious for years.  He also oversaw a system that treated young children as little more than soldiers for present and future wars.  This issue underscores that he didn't just treat Force-sensitive children that way.  Equal opportunity assholery!

Although Bree's murder of Riak last issue ensures the Scalvi's safety for years, Yoda's abrupt departure leaves Bree a broken shell of a person.  As an adult, Bree has never gotten over Yoda's abandonment despite the Scalvi treating him as a hero.  Yoda returns just in time for Bree's nephew to kidnap the Crulkon leader's daughter.  Bree listens to the girl as she informs him that Turrak's oceans are devoid of life, and he realizes that the Crulkon are, and always have been, starving.  He opens the Scalvis' gates to the Crulkon, which is obviously the outcome Yoda wanted.

But you have to wonder if it had to happen this way.  Yoda admits that he allowed the Crulkon to kidnap him to test Bree, and Bree of course failed when he killed Riak.  But Yoda simply abandoned him to his failure.  It seems possible that Bree could've become the sort of man to see the Crulkon's suffering without taking a life or spending years wondering why he failed Yoda.

A hero, I'm not sure Yoda is.

Also Read:  X-Terminators #5

Six-Month-Old Comics: The January 11 Edition - Part 1 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #17:  OMG, this issue is awful.

On the plus side, the art is great:  McGuiness should draw Limbo demons full-time.  

Unfortunately, the issue also has words.

Ben decides to get Peter to eat the apple by casting him, JJJ, Jr., and Robbie in a work-place comedy set at The Bugle with the demons as the other employees.  I'm not kidding.  I'm not saying it isn't funny, but it goes to this event's  - and series' - main problem, the fact Wells can't decide if it's funny or serious.  

In a great example of that problem and pet peeve #3, Madelyne expresses concern that Ben isn't taking their plans seriously enough.  If he really wants Peter to eat the apple, why not just threaten all his loved ones with death?  But I'm not giving Wells credit for Madelyne pointing out his flaws.

In other words, Wells doesn't really explain why Ben is playing with his food here, and the story suffers for it.

Black Cloak #1:  Holy fucking shit, this issue is the best issue of a comic I've read in a really long time.  

McClaren and Thompson employ restraint to create a totally immersive experience.  McClaren's limited line strokes creates a fully realized reality, and Thompson's equally sparse script underscores the tension between the characters as they're reluctant to say what they feel.

You need to buy this comic now.

The issue's opening text informs us that Kiros is the known world's last city due to a cataclysmic war that happened hundreds of years ago.  The heroes defeated the great evil, but something is rotten in the state of Kiros.  As the unnamed narrator says, it "turns out beings get along better when there's a great evil to be vanquished."

The action begins when a mermaid crawls onto the beach at the Lagoon, spits up some black-looking liquid, and then collapses on the beach.  A group of screeching mermaids stare at her from the water and then throw a dead body next to her before departing.

On Merchant Row, a satyr named Vaissac attacks a black-cloaked elf.  She punches him, as she apparently does every week.  She tells him that they could either get along or ignore each other.  He tells her that he'll never be "good neighbors" with a "fucking Black Cloak." As the elf enters Coffee, Curios & Curiosities, demonic-looking rats attack Vaissac, and the elf uses her...magic gun? to scare them into fleeing.

The elf is Detective Phaedra Essex.  The store's proprietor, Laurel, shows her the prototype of a robotic taka (a cat-like creature) that she bought.  Phaedra is appalled because she was raised with a real taka before they went extinct.  Phaedra then gets a call and heads to the Salty Crow in the Narrows.

A the Crow, a (sexy as fuck) elf with a gold-flecked chest wound is lying naked on a bed.  A pair of cops are on the scene with a detective, and one of the cops, Clem, tells the detective, Pax, that the elf's tattoos use royal ink.  Pax asks Clem if he "netted" the room, and Clem responds that someone named Nina had done so.  Nina apparently didn't have her "soulprint" on her, though so she wasn't able to identify the elf.  Pax has his soulprint on him, but before he can scan the body a photographer appears in the doorway.  Pax tells the other cop, Benny, to control the crime scene and "get that capture."  Pax puts a set of goggles (I assume the soulprint) on the body, but they don't work.

Phaedra enters and identifies the elf as Freyal III of Sidra, the heir to the throne and Phaedra's fiancé at some point.  Pax suddenly yells, "The capture!" and manifests wings before leaping out the window.  Phaedra sends Clem after Pax and spends a moment with Freyal's body, showing a matching tattoo and telling him quietly how much she missed him.

Pax returns and tells Phaedra that Clem has "the capture" and is taking him to the station, though I still don't know what "the capture" is or how or why it escaped.  Pax and Phaedra then discuss how the murderer clearly used a dracona dagger due to the gold-flecked wound.  Phaedra tells Pax that she and Freyal were raised together and were best friends though she hadn't seen him in years.

They discuss how the Crow is a "glorified flophouse above a bar known for prostitution."  They go to the bar to interrogate the bartender, and this scene is a marvelous fantasy version of the Mos Eisley cantina.  Apparently an elf girl named Dace rented the room for the last three cycles, and the bartender confirmed she was with Freyal when he first rented the room to her.  Upon leaving the bar, Phaedra calls someone and asks them to pull out the mermaid the Crow was keeping in a tank.  (She mentions she saw tail rot.  Oof.)

At HQ, the captain exposits that Phaedra is exiled from the elven realms.  The conversation is interrupted when she and Pax are sent to the Lagoon because Nida has identified the dead woman as Dace.  Disturbingly, Phaedra asks why the mermaids didn't eat her, cueing up the enormous chunk of flesh missing from her back.  

Nida (who's a bat-like humanoid) opens the mouth of the dead mermaid next to Dace, causing Pax to panic.  Nida notes the mermaid is dead, but Pax's panic at Nida even touching the body makes you realize we're not dealing with Ariel here.  Nida notes a bit of flesh in the dead mermaid's teeth and the nearby bile, and Phaedra realizes that someone used a strong enough poison on Dace that it can kill a mermaid in one bite.  Based on their interactions, Nida and Phaedra are in a relationship, and they're adorable.

Before Phaedra leaves, Nida tells Phaedra that she's worried about Phaedra seeing her family because of the "old laws."  Phaedra stresses that the Black Cloak "should" protect her, and Nida notes that "should" is a "fucked-up word."  Pax and Phaedra discuss how you usually dump bodies in the Lagoon hoping the mermaids eat them, but the murderer may not have known that someone had already poisoned Dace.  So we may have two people trying to murder her?  

Pax interviews a nearby guard, Jakel, who tells Pax that he wasn't working the previous night.  (Throughout the issue, we see the security surrounding the Lagoon to keep out trespassers.)  Pax asks Jakel to turn down his music, which Jakel suggests is a bad idea.  When Pax insists, he does, and the mermaids immediately start screeching.  Pax allows Jakel to turn on the music again, and, on my second reading, I realized everyone near the water is wearing headphones.  

Jakel tells Pax that someone named Edgar was working the previous night.  He exposits that the guards are under constant surveillance so Edgar wouldn't likely have let someone into the Lagoon for fear of getting fired.  Jakel says that they only way to enter is through a gap where the cliff meets the wall, though it's usually sealed.

On Lookout Point, Phaedra notes that anyone up there could see the whole Lagoon.  She interviews four hooligans and tells them that someone killed a mermaid.  One of the hooligans quips that mermaids kill people, and Phaedra responds that it matters when they all kill each other.  She tells the hooligan who seemed the most cooperative that she might have something to pay in exchange for information, but one of the other hooligans tells her that they're not "wraiths" and don't work with Black Cloaks.  HQ calls Phaedra and tells her that she's clear to go to Castle Kiros.  She leaves while Pax stays at the Lagoon to investigate.

At the castle gates, Phaedra remembers playing with Freyal and the taka, Mister Starlight.  They're using a dracona dagger to cut a "very powerful tree," and we learn dracona daggers have dragon blood in them.  Before she can enter the castle grounds, someone knocks Phaedra unconscious.

In the Queen's private chambers, the Queen apolgizes for the "misunderstanding," and Phaedra comments that someone people have trouble letting go of the old rules.  The Queen notes that Phaedra's black cloak likely precipitated the attack, again making it clear that Black Cloaks aren't welcome.  Phaedra disagrees, saying she believes that it was her brother Hadrian.  

The Queen tells Phaedra she's called for a healer and asks how Freyal died.  Phaedra says that they don't yet know but she asked to see her in the hope that she'd hear about Freyal's death from her and not a stranger.  The Queen archly asks if Phaedra isn't a stranger, because she hasn't seen her in 20 years, and Phaedra parries that her exile wasn't her choice.

The healer, Valorie, enters.  Before the Queen can leave, she asks Phaedra if it occurred to her that Freyal would be alive if Phaedra hadn't been exiled.  (It's an interesting use of the passive voice, there, since the Queen presumably exiled her.  Guilt, your majesty?)  Freyal and Phaedra would've been married, and she'd perhaps have a grandchild "instead of...nothing."  Phaedra tells that it weights heavily on her that three lives were lost, and the Queen is surprised to hear about Dace and the mermaid.  (I'm guessing Phaedra was fishing to see if the Queen recognized Dace's name.)  

The Queen leaves, and Phaedra and Valorie enthusiastically greet each other.  Valorie suggests removing Phaedra's cloak to heal the wound, but Phaedra panics, making it clear the cloak isn't just a cloak.  Valorie heals Phaedra, who says that she feels 20 years younger.  A guard then arrives to escort Phaedra to the Silver Gate.  In the halls, Phaedra sees her mother, but her brother arrives to drag her mother from that "traitorous trash."  Phaedra tells that guard that she knows how to leave, and the guard threatens that her cloak doesn't protect her as much as she thinks it does.

Pax meets her at the gate, and they take an elevator down to the Heights. Pax marvels at the view, and Phaedra tells him that it's a lie curated for royalty.  She notes the elevator doesn't go below the Heights, which means the royals don't even see half of Kiros.  She comments darkly on the forces that don't want the nobility to see the reality that exists in that other half.  

The captain calls them back to HQ, where they encounter more demonic rats, which are apparently called wraiths (explaining the hooligan's comment, since wraith are this world's rats).  At the Department, it's chaos because all sorts of people have arrived to confess to killing Freyal, to carrying his lovechild, to being his lovechild, or to witnessing the murder.

Before Pax and Phaedra can start interviewing them, a kid with a glowing knife murmurs, "For Kiros," and stabs Phaedra before cutting his throat.  We end the issue with Pax holding Phaedra's bloody body.

Beyond the murder mystery itself, we're also in the dark about a lot of dynamics at play here.  Why does everyone hate the Black Cloaks?  It seems the only thing that unifies everyone is that hatred.  Why are the mermaids cannibals?  Did they follow the Great Evil or were they victims of it?  What's a "capture?"

Again, this triple-sized issue is spectacular.  It's worth every moment spent with it.  The art is unbelievable.  Thompson's story is unbelievable.  I'm all fucking in.

Blade Runner 2039 #2:  Ho boy, the chickens are coming home to roost!

Ash takes Lexi, the replicant from last issue, to a desolate place populated with only a trailer.  Ash enters expecting Freysa but sees an unknown man.  She draws a gun before she realizes Freysa is with him.  Ash tells Freysa that she should've told her that they were going to have visitors, and Freysa introduces him as "an old friend from the trenches" named Sapper.  Freysa notes that Ash herself has brought a stranger, and Ash introduces Lexi.  It's clear through their interactions that their relationship is tense.

At LAPD HQ, a bodiless voice coming from the device on Luv's desk is chastising her for her treatment of the officer last issue.  The voice tells her she's confined to HQ but she tells the voice that she's going to Santa Barbara on Niander Wallace, Jr.'s orders and the voice relents.  

At the former Selwyn estate in Santa Barbara, "Ms. Penelope" greets Luv, who marvels at the fresh water coming from the fountain.  Luv notes that Penelope's butler is a Nexus-8 Replicant, and Penelope tells her that she has dispensation from the police to own one.  When Luv tells Penelope that she can sense Nexus-8s, Penelope marvels at the "poetic" nature of Wallace making Replicants to catch Replicants.  

At the trailer, Ash installs one of the eyes in Freysa, and Freysa installs the other one in Ash, since her eye was apparently looking "diseased" like her spine and, lately, her lungs.  Freysa encourages Ash to stay, but Ash tells Freysa that Lexi told her about the Replicant Blade Runner.

At Selwyn's estate, Luv tells Penelope that Wallace thinks Selwyn may have left 

"sensitive material" hidden there.  Penelope knows that Wallace wants Luv to turn the estate upside down looking for what Selwyn knew, but Penelope refuses.  Luv tells Penelope that she doesn't need Penelope's cooperation, and Penelope and her butler kick Luv's ass.  Apparently Luv's ability to detect older Replican models isn't so great, because Penelope reveals herself as Hythe.  

To make matters more interesting, Cleo arrives on Earth!  

This series is playing for keeps, y'all.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #9:  This issue is better than the previous ones but still not good.

The kid who magically knows everything happening in Mohannda tells the adults that the government has bombed the hospital.  Nomad knows that it's a trap, but Cap insists that they go, so they all go.  What, you wouldn't take all the resistance forces to one place where the enemy could easily annihilate them?  Coward.

As the team helps survivors at the hospital, one of them tells Cap that someone evacuated many of the doctors before the attack, but apparently no one thinks it's significant.  Instead, they just rescue the doctors so they can get to work helping the other survivors.  Everyone is surprised when militarized Phrox from Dimension Z appear, no one more than Ian, who notes that they helped Steve raise him.

Sam realizes that they're in trouble since he puts together that the White Wolf has access to Zola tech.  Nightshade suggest that the White Wolf has "some sort of technology conduit" or "maybe a signal transmitter," though I don't get why summoning portals to Dimension Z would require a transmitter.  Anyway, she's confident she can understand Zola's technology.  

Sam leads the Phrox from the hospital but then decides the White Wolf must be keeping the transmitter in the sky because anyone could reach it on the ground.  (Look, I'm just trying to hang in here.)

On said ground, Nightshade declares a strong signal is coming from the Parliament, which is impressive since she's holding a gun and not some sort of signal detector.  But they all decide to head to Parliament.  Sam destroys the sky-based transmitter, but it only disables the portals.  (I'm not sure why they thought the Phrox would disappear simply because the portals were no longer working, but they did.)  

Suddenly, Falcon arrives in full vampire mode and declares that he's going to kill Sam for abandoning him.  I mean, what the fuck?  Last time we saw him, he was asking his grandmother for help and now he's a vampire intent on murdering Sam in Mohannda   What's next?  Is D-Man going to arrive as a zombie mad at Sam for missing poker night?

God, I hate this series.

Know Your Station #2:  We end this issue where we ended the last one:  Elise finds a body (well, two bodies this time), and she's the only person who accessed the room where they were killed, according to St. Brigid.  

It seems pretty clear that St. Brigid is, knowingly or not, assisting the killer in covering their tracks.  Given Elise is detoxing from the Blue, she isn't as sharp as she normally is, making it easier for the killer.  

Beyond the killer's identity, this issue's biggest mystery is where Pritchard's body went, given it disappeared from Elise's tub, where St. Brigid initially stashed it.  

If I had to guess, Marin - who whispers something to Elise that she won't remember since she's detoxing - is in love with Elise and killing her enemies, given Raulsson and his wife are the bodies Elise finds here.  We'll see.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The December 28 Edition - Part 1 (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #16:  The tone of these "Dark Web" issues remains weird.  We went from oddly jokey last issue to bro-y aggro in this one.  Peter isn't even remotely sympathetic when it comes to Ben's situation and simply throws hands.  It's weird because Peter is the most empathetic characters in comics; you'd think he'd understand that Ben doesn't have a moral code because he needs Peter's memories to have one.

Putting aside the tone, the plot is also weird.  Madelyne's "secret mission" is to send Venom into the Treehouse to recover her "soul."  I'm assuming she means her Cerebro back-up, but they're stored in Krakoa and not New York.  If it isn't her back-up, I have no idea what she's doing.  

Also, I still don't get Hallows' Eve.  She uses a mask to become Frankenstein's Monster, seemingly to accompany Eddie into the Treehouse to take on the X-Men.  But once Eddie enters she takes off the mask and apparently plans on entering stealthily while Eddie attacks.  Why change into Frankenstein's Monster then?

Moreover, I thought Ben was using the orb he displays here to steal Peter's memories, somehow channeling the Tree of Exquisite Liberation (which we saw in issue #14).  Instead he sends Peter to Limbo, where he also has JJJ, Jr. and Robbie Robertson.  Doesn't that get him farther from his goal of stealing Peter's memories?  He seems more focused on the demonic attack of New York, and I still don't get how that furthers either Ben's or Madelyne's goals.

In other words, I'm just at a loss here.

Dark Web:  X-Men #2:  I haven't liked a damn thing about "Dark Web," but Jean Grey smacking Madelyne Pryor and telling her, "If you want to go, let's go" is 30+ years coming and I'm here for it.

Captain America:  Symbol of Truth #8:  This issue is just awful.  

Throughout the issue, we get a series of statements that either contradict previous statements or just don't make sense.  To wit:

• Nomad uses a "Theseus and the minotaur" metaphor to describe why he and the refugees are safe from the oncoming tanks as they walk through the village's ruins.  Sam says soldiers may get lost in ruins but tanks don't.  Does he mean the tanks will somehow run over the ruins?  It isn't clear.
• A small child is leading Nomad and the refugees to a safe house, whose location apparently only he knows.  We're never told why he, and not a single adult, alone knows where it is.
• It turns out the shelter has a hidden button you press to enter, like it's the Batcave. 
• Sam notes the tanks are getting closer, and Ian quips that he "was hoping maybe they had other rides to drop off."  Is that a joke?  If not, I have no idea what he means.
•  As Sam and Nomad discuss the situation with the resistance leaders, Nightshade appears.  She apparently emigrated to Wakanda as part of the Wakanda Forever movement.  She claims many émigrés had "no way back" to America and found themselves stuck in Mohannda.  I find it hard to believe that the Wakandans not only revoked the émigrés' citizenship but then dumped them into an apartheid state?  Who's running Wakanda's PR team?
• Nightshade says she isn't a villain anymore, which I guess is true-ish, but she then claims, "I'm not someone with a past," which is very not true-ish.  
• Nightshade then tells us that she didn't just go to Mohannda because she had "no way back" to America, but because she believed in the deceased prime minister's cause.  Pick a reason!

I  went to the trouble of listing these inconsistencies and oddities to show that I'm not just exaggerating.  The issue reads like a bad AI wrote it.  It also comes nowhere close to explaining what Sam is planning to do about the White Wolf, particularly now that he knows the White Wolf was the one behind the prime minister's assassination, ostensibly the reason why he's there.

I've said it before, but Sam doesn't deserve this series.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The December 14 and 21 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #15 (December 14):  This issue is weirdly jokey given the fact that Peter discovers Ben is still alive and Eddie Brock has reverted to his more brainless (and dangerous) iteration.  (Peter responds to both developments essentially with a shrug.)  As he goes to save Norman, he comments how Norman helped him when he lost Mary Jane, a situation he described as "a pickle."  It's bizarre.

Also, Ben can apparently cast spells now, which he uses to do...something to Ms. Marvel, whose appearance here feels completely unnecessary.  

In terms of continuity, this issue clearly happens after "Dark Web:  X-Men" #1 (despite the checklist saying it comes before it), since Peter refers to leaving the X-Men at Rockefeller Center, which happens in that issue (see below).  To make matters more complicated, Madelyne and Hallows' Eve collect Eddie here for their "secret mission," but they already had him in "Dark Web" #1.

In other words, it isn't the most promising star to this event.

Dark Web:  X-Men #1 (December 14):  This issue is worth the price of admission only for nostalgic 80s children (like me) who'll appreciate Spidey's team-up with Firestar and Iceman. 

Like "Amazing Spider-Man" #15, though, it suffers from an inappropriately jokey tone.  For example, as they're imprisoned in Limbo, Alex desperately tries to get Scott to engage with his pain, which he claims is similar to Madelyne's (a stretch, but consistent with Duggan's portrayal of Alex as a whiny brat).  Scott completely rebuffs him.  To be fair, Scott is trying to get Alex to help him escape their cell, but still.  

Beyond the issues mentioned in the above review, this issue's chronological sequencing is also odd.  Madelyne is in Limbo torturing the Summer brothers but also in New York going on her "secret mission" with Hallows' Eve.  Also I thought she told Ben in "Amazing Spider-Man" #14 that she wouldn't go to New York to maintain some plausible deniability with the X-Men?  

It's a mess.

Mary Jane & Black Cat (December 21):  For fuck's sake, Wells has got to tell us what happened six months ago.  

I say that because Mary Jane didn't just collect a husband and two children in the ensuing period, she also gained superpowers.  Said powers involve her spinning a slot-machine wheel and manifesting a power based on whatever she gets spin-wise.  It isn't just ridiculous (which it is).  It's also repetitive.  We've already had two extremely confusing iterations of the Jackpot hero, though neither one possessed these powers.  [Sigh.]  

If you're asking what Mary Jane's powers have to do with "Dark Web," Black Cat sees her manifest them to protect Paul and the kids from demons.  Of course, before we can address that, Belasco kidnaps Black Cat and Mary Jane because he wants a favor.  [Sigh, again.]

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #29 (December 14):  This issue is fun when it's Bossk and Tasu fighting off Imps or IG-88 taking out the Son-tuul Pride syndicate basically on his own.  

But I still have the problem I've had for a while, which is that this series has so many main and supporting characters that it's really hard to keep them all straight.  When and why did Crimson Dawn destroy Ankala and her compatriots' villages?  How and why did the Pride help Crimson Dawn and thus earn an Imperial bounty?  

It's a small complaint, but it does occasionally slow down my ability to follow the action, which is fast and furious here.

WildC.A.Ts #2 (December 14):  This issue moves fast.

The beginning is a good time as Cole expresses frustration while he and Zealot find themselves battling the H.I.V.E troops and the Court of Owls' Talons.  Cole gets injured, forcing Zealot to fight off their attackers alone while getting a still unconscious Fairchild and him to a place where Void can teleport them.

Cole isn't a "sitting in bed" type of guy, though, so he leaves the hospital early to attend the Halo directors meeting.  (In the hospital, he relays another multiverse story, though I don't recognize this one.)  At the meeting, we see various familiar faces at the table, including Dr. Anthony Ivo, Norah Fries (who I though the WildC.A.Ts killed per a comment last issue but is clearly alive here), and a resurrected (female) Michael Cray.  For reasons Rosenberg doesn't make clear, Cole encourages Marlowe to let them go after the Court, but Void disapproves.  

That doesn't stop Cole from getting Voodoo to go over the crime scene with him later that night.  She doesn't find anything, though their search clearly pisses off the Court, which sends an assassin after Marlowe at a party later that evening.  Marlowe decides that it's time to take the WildC.A.Ts public, though he unveils a team called the Seven Soldiers of Victory, most of whom I don't recognize.  I'm sure (I hope) Rosenberg has something up his sleeve.

Also Read:  Night Club #1 (December 14); X-Men Annual #1 (December 21)

Five-Month-Old Comics: The November 23 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #14:  I was upset about Ben's fall during Spencer's run, but damn if the Beyond arc wasn't one of the most intense stories that I've ever read.  Maybe Wells is better at telling other people's stories than his own, because he takes Spencer's ball and fucking runs with it here. 

First things first, Wells addresses Janine.  We learn at the issue's start that Ben is raiding Beyond warehouses with the goal of finding a technology that'lll help him steal Peter's memories.  Janine decides to leave him over his obsession.  As she sits dejectedly picking at her eggs at a café in Grand Central Station, the friendly owner asks what's bothering her.  But Janine has been down this road many times before and realizes the owner is stalling for time after he called the police.  When he begins to judge her for murdering her father, she attacks him and flees.  She realizes that Ben is the only sanctuary she's ever had, so she returns to him and commits to supporting him fully.

Meanwhile, Ben finds himself called to Limbo after he discovers that one of the devices he swiped opens a portal there.  Enter Madelyne Pryor.  This pairing makes perfect sense.  In fact, the only reason that I could see for not getting these two together is that they're from such different corners of the Marvel Universe that I'm sure it required some legwork on the authors' and editors' parts to make it happen.  

Ben and Janine eventually move to Limbo where Ben convinces Madelyne to lend him her demon army to invade New York.  We're not clear why Ben wants to invade New York at this point, but we'll see.  For Madelyne's part, she's starting to wonder if the mutants really gave her what she wanted or simply exiled away a bad memory.

Before the invasion begins, Madelyne powers up Janine using S'ym's finger, introducing us to the worst-named character ever, Hallows' Eve.  Name aside, Wells does a great job showing how this outcome is really the only one that makes sense for Janine.  If she wants to inhabit Ben's world, she needs to do so fully.

The issue ends with Ben standing outside Peter's apartment in the hope of seeing him once last time before he attacks him.  Instead, he runs into the increasingly unhinged debt collector chasing Peter.  The collector (understandably) mistakes Ben for Peter, and Ben mishears the comma and believes that the collector called him a "fake[,] Peter Parker."  Ben loses it and drag the collector to Limbo where we learn that he isn't the nicest of men.  Madelyne has him taste from the Tree of Exquisite Liberation, confirming her theory that it can free a soul from a body.  Guess how Ben wants to use that?

Honestly, I find myself surprisingly stoked about the upcoming "Dark Web" event after this issue.  Go figure.

Miracleman by Gaiman and Buckingham:  The Silver Age #2:  This issue is the finally step in getting us ready for new stories, as Miracleman kisses Dicky at Miraclewoman's urging.  

Miraclewoman is convinced that Dicky has always been in love with Miracelman.  Miracelman sees Dicky's violent reaction to the kiss as proof that she was wrong and that Dicky doesn't love him, though I wouldn't necessarily read it that way.  A devastated Dicky leaves Olympus after telling Miracelman not to follow him, and Miracleman tells Miraclewoman that they need to talk.  The way Buckingham draws that last panel, Miracleman seems to suspect Miraclewoman had ulterior motives for pushing him to kiss Dicky.  

Looking ahead, Dicky seems destined for some role in taking on the Pantheon.  For most of this issue, we're following him as New York throws him a ticker-tape parade.  At the post-parade gala, a "spaceman" appears and rambles.  Winter tells Dicky that it portends great things (the spaceman is a known quantity somehow to her), and Miraclewoman tells Miracleman later that he didn't understand the spaceman's message because it was meant for Dicky.  The intriguing part of said message is the end, when he says, "If sanity consists of adapting to uncover crimes of light."  It isn't hard to see Dicky as the one undercovering Miracelman's well meaning crimes.

Beyond the plot, Gaiman and Buckingham do a spectacular job of showing how awful Miracelman's betrayal is.  Dicky's been alive for days, maybe weeks.  Rather than waiting to address the potential for his feelings when the stress of his reincarnation is less, Miracleman kisses him.  The look of horror and shock on Dicky's face is a testament of Buckingham's skill.  Miracelman's actions send a confused yet powerful adolescent into this carefully crafted world.  We've been down that road before, and it doesn't end well.

Star Wars:  Revelations #1:  As a public-service announcement, I'd warn anyone reading even one of the "Star Wars" series to skip this issue, as it basically just summarizes recent events in each series.  As someone reading all the series except "Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra," I was as annoyed as Vader was.

Star Wars:  Yoda #1:  This issue is solid.  Scott does an excellent job of showing Yoda's ability to focus on doing the right thing when he insists on personally responding to a distress call from Turrak, a backwater planet in the Outer Rim.  But Scott also doesn't make it that easy.

Arriving on Turrak, Yoda helps Sclavi villagers survive Crulkon pirates' third raid in as many days.  Deciding to fight against the galaxy usually works, he decides to stay on the planet.  If I'm reading between the lines correctly, Yoda's decision is motivated from the knowledge that the pirates would simply destroy the village the minute he left.  It's obviously noble, but the Council isn't wrong when it's concerned that his absence from Coruscant will mean more people will suffer in the aggregate.  Yoda clearly knows that, too, so it'll be interesting to explore his thought process as events progress.  

I was worried this series would lean too much into Yoda's more cartoon-y iterations, but Scott really captures Yoda's essence here.  Great stuff.

X-Men #17:  I wasn't really feeling this arc, but Duggan wraps it up beautifully.  

Caliban - or, at least, Caliban's essence - argues with Forge when he decides to leave Laura to find Darwin.  Forge's logic is that the Five have already resurrected her, which he mutters is the second time that they've resurrected someone not actually dead.  (I'm not sure who the other one is.)  Caliban's essence sees Forge as yet another person misusing his gift.

But Forge's search is frustrated when Serafina attacks him.  Duggan doesn't explain how she avoided Forge's trap, but Caliban's kindness - and her apparent debt to the mutants, who previously saved her from Orchis (seriously, don't we do editor's notes anymore?) convinces her to let them leave with Laura.  

Before they can, Darwin contacts Forge in his subconscious, revealing that he turned into code when he needed a way to escape the living autopsies to which the Children of the Vault subjected him.  Darwin declines to leave with Forge, and Forge instead leaves with Laura, the happiest of all possible endings for an overjoyed Synch.  Seriously, it's possibly the only clear romantic win for an X-Men maybe...ever.  Wrapping up a minor mystery, Tempo was the third mutant's gift who Forge used, to make sure that he didn't age in the Vault.

Fascinatingly, Dr. Reyes' medical report about Forge's condition at the issue's end makes it clear that Darwin embedded himself into Forge, since Forge's Cerebro backup "was measured in Zettabytes."  It eventually returned to normal, implying Darwin is now in Krakoa somehow.  I'm sure that'll turn out well.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The November 9 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

A.X.E.:  Judgment Day - Omega #1:  This issue is almost exclusively focused on the Eternals, so if you're not particularly interested in how they're handling the Judgment Day fall-out you can safely skip it.  

That said, although I don't really follow the Eternals, I was still plenty interested in what Gillen does here.  Zuras declares that Ajak's followers - Ikaris, Kingo, Makkari, Phastos, Sprite, and Thena - are heretics for supporting her reinterpretation of the principles, which puts the Eternals in humanity's service.  He warns that he will Exclude them if their actions go against the principles, so things should get interesting in that corner of the House of Ideas.  Also, the Machine's narration ends with an emoticon, a sign that its personality might still be there, so that's nice.  

Again, I felt this event was one of the better ones in recent memory, and this epilogue doesn't do anything to change that.

Amazing Spider-Man #13:  Oof, this series is just not going well.  

As excited as I was about the Hobgoblin arc when it first started, it ends in a total mess.  It turns out the Goblin Queen was the one using the "Winkler device" on Ned and Roderick in order to manipulate Norman into "becoming his true self again."  She certainly gets him on that road when a still hospital-bound Norman is forced to use an Iron Man-like suit to save Peter.  (He's been watching on the laptop his assistant provided last issue.)

My problem with this issue is that no one seems particularly concerned with the consequences of these events (other than Norman's potential first step on the road back to Goblinhood).  

First things first, Peter is unmasked in front of Ned and Roderick.  I assume that the Winkler device's impact on their memories means that they don't remember that Peter is Spider-Man.  But Peter doesn't know that Goblin Queen mindwipes them after every excursion, so shouldn't he be worried about the fact they both saw him without his mask?

To that point, Wells never explains why Goblin Queen mindwipes them.  Sure, it explains why Roderick was confused in issue #11 when Norman said that he was present when Hobgoblin attacked them.  But why wouldn't the Goblin Queen want him to remember his time as Hogbolin?  Why risk exposing herself to Norman by getting directly involved and not just manipulating Roderick from the shadows?  Along those lines, Norman learns that his assistant didn't bring the laptop to him.  We're clearly supposed to believe that it was Goblin Queen but, again, it was pretty easy for Norman to learn that his staff didn't bring it to him so why risk it?

Also, even if Roderick is mindwiped, Ned isn't.  He's in jail, so it isn't like Goblin Queen can get him into the device.  Shouldn't Peter at least worry that Ned now knows?  Again, we're left to assume that the Winkler device affects his memory enough that he wouldn't remember but stilll.

[Sigh.]  Once again, I'm finding myself on the "obligation," and not "enjoyment," end of the reading "Amazing Spider-Man" spectrum.

Captain America:  Sentinel of Liberty #6:  Honestly, I'm Team Bucky on this one.  

Bucky makes a pretty compelling case that entities like the Outer Circle are only defeated by people on the inside, which is why he needs to take the Revolution's place.  But, as always, Steve decides that he knows what's best and they come to blows.  

Of course, part of Steve's objection comes from his disapproval that Bucky killed someone (i.e., the Revolution).  Lanzing and Kelly use Steve's tantrum to underscore his blindspot when it comes to what Bucky is trying to tell him, that he's always been the one to do the dirty work so he understands the Circle better than Steve does.  

Hopefully Sharon will take some sense into Steve next issue.

WildC.A.Ts #1:  I'm pretty stoked about the WildC.A.Ts' relaunch even if it isn't part of Ellis' amazing "The Wild Storm" series from a few years ago.

Rosenberg throws us right into the action as Grifter, Deathblow (i.e., Michael Cray), and Zealot invade a H.I.V.E. lab to try to recruit a scientist named Tremont for Marlowe.  (We don't really establish why Marlowe can't just, like, ask him to send a resume.)  We begin in media res as (a chattier and more charming than usual) Grifter explains the Dhaemonite-Kherubim war to a security guard.  He's trying to convince the guard that he's unknowingly working for the Dhemonites, but Zealot just kills the guard instead, telling Grifter that his stories are "getting stranger" (thus implying that, in this iteration, the Dhaemonite-Kherubim war didn't happen).

But Grifter fucks up the mission when he shoots Tremont because he (Tremont) killed a chimpanzee that he's using as a lab animal just to prove how useful he can be.  Shortly before Nightwing and Cassandra Cain arrive, the team departs the lab for the still under construction Halo Building in Star City.  Marlowe informs Cray and Zealot that he's adding Fairchild to the team due to their recent failures.  When they balk, he brings them to Adrianna who confirms that she wants Fairchild on the roster.  Based on this exchange and another one later in the issue, it appears Adrianna is more in charge than Marlowe.

At a bar, Grifter tells a fellow patron about how the Anti-Life Equation took over his Earth and he and his companions fled through the Multiverse to this Earth.  (Did that happen?)  It turns out the patron is a scientist at Althea Labs, and Grifter swipes his badge before two heavies try to kill him for his role in killing Mrs. Freeze and Toyman.  (Really?  Did that happen?)  Grifter spends a night in jail, and Marlowe springs him the next morning with his hulking blond bodyguard Jack Colt, who some Googling made me realize is Spartan.

Of course, the mission at Althea also goes badly, and we learn Cray's death is his third one this month.  Also, all the scientists are dead for reasons that aren't clear, as we begin this segment in media res as well.  Maxine - the team's coordinator - has Grifter use Fairchild to escape, though they eventually find themselves in a sub-basement surrounded by the Court of Owls.  That'll go well.

Beyond just the joy of seeing the WildC.A.Ts in action, Rosenberg underlines how integrated the team now is in the DC Universe.  I'm not sure how I feel of that, to be honest.  I don't know if I really want Grifter fighting Green Arrow, as he does here, but I could be persuaded otherwise.  We'll see.

Also Read:  Minor Threats #3; Moon Knight #17

Five-Month-Old Comics: The October 26 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

A.X.E.:  Judgment Day #6:  You know, this event wasn't half bad!

Gillen delivers what I can honestly say is the best concluding chapter to an event in recent memory.  The resolution isn't convenient or easy, and the Marvel Universe's status quo really is changed.  Go figure, right?

First things first, the heroes win by convincing the Progenitor to change his mind.  Gillen walks us through the Progenitor's thought process throughout the issue, as he finds himself impressed in the small and big ways the Earthlings are resisting his efforts.  That said, he's still actively trying to destroy the Earth and decides to go straight to the Eternals' city at the Earth's core to destroy the Reality Loom.

Meanwhile, Tony's team makes its way to the Progenitor's core, where they encounter the Progenitor's astral form (more or less).  Before Jean can go all Betsy on it, Ajak stops her.  I initially thought it was the moment Ajak turned on the team in the Progenitor's defense.  Then she pointed out he's the only way for them to resurrect the seven billion humans that he's killed, a consequence she (rightfully) says Jean isn't taking seriously given the mutants' ability to resurrect themselves.

At the Earth's core, Cap, Nightcrawler, and Starfox respond to the Progenitor's arrival by opening up Uranos' armories and arming all the humans who sought refuge in the city.  To help defend the city, Syne the Memotaur works with Exodus to somehow channels mutantdom's powers into her so she can take on the Progenitor.  To Jean's horror, Orchis also helps fight the Progenitor.  Believing that they don't have anymore time, Jean commits to taking out the Progenitor and saving who she can.

However, the Progenitor surprises everyone by revealing that he was aware they were in his core (despite him seemingly ignoring them).  He tells the team that Jean's actions secured his belief that the Earthlings deserve to die, since they're all creatures guided by self-interest.  To prove him wrong by showing the Etnerals can change (as seen in "A.X.E.:  Eternals" #1, when the Progenitor feed them from their restraints), Sersi has the Machine connect her to the world's population.  She reveals that the Eternals kill a human whenever they're resurrected and asks the non-Eternal Earthlings to judge them for it.  As Sersi tells the Progenitor that her actions show the Eternals' ability to change, he kills her since the Earthlings wanted her dead.

Before the Progenitor can finish off Earth, Jean reminds him that he failed her for killing a planet when she was totally insane and points out he's doing so with a "cold heart."  She ask if he thinks he can live with his choice, and he begins to realize that he can stop his course.  (Previously, he mused that stopping himself would mean that he made a mistake and thus wasn't a god, something that he comes to realize).  Tony gets him there by saying that he makes amends every day for his actions.  Finally acknowledging that he isn't a god, the Progenitor uses his power to fix what he's done.  Dying from the power he's expended, he asks Ajak if he was a worthy god and she says no.  He agrees and tells her to be better as he gives her his remaining power.

As Tony's team takes in its win, Ajak arrives as Ajak Celstia.  She says that the Progenitor didn't resurrect Sersi as she's a martyr for the Eternals' "new church," bringing "a chance of redemption for our fallen people."

In the epilogue, we get a number of touching moments.  Kenta tells his parents all about the people who helped him in the Eternals' city, not realizing that they were dead.  As a parent, Gillen tugs at my heart strings here as Kenta's parents realize that they're weirdly comforted to learn that kind-hearted strangers took care of their son after they died.

Meanwhile, Zuras apologizes to Storm in front of the cameras for the Eternals attacking the mutants and offers the Arakkii Uranos for one hour in compensation.  Zuras later reveals that he sentenced Druig to serve as Uranos' cellmate, which isn't going to be a pleasant experience for him.

The biggest status quo change here isn't that humanity hates the Eternals (though it does).  It's the revelation of Starfox's plan:  the resurrection of worthy humans.  Jean explains to the world that mutantkind will first resurrect the mutants who died in the mutant genocides.  Then, since mutantkind doesn't have the resources to backup the minds of eight billion humans, Jean will personally backup the chosen few through the Phoenix Foundation, with a priority on "the vulnerable, the weak, the poor and those whom the world has abandoned."  The Five will use five percent of their time to resurrect them.  

Scott tells Jean that it's a win, and it's hard not to see it as such.  In fact, it feels like it really fulfills Hickman's promise of a new reality for the X-Men.  They're not only helping to extend humans' lives and heal humanity's sick, they're now resurrecting humanity's most vulnerable.  But Scott points out the fight was also a win for Orchis, too, given its publicly viewed heroics, which complicates matters.

All in all, though, it was a pretty solid event.  I think we probably could've wrapped it up more quickly and you probably only really enjoyed it if you're an X-Men fan.  But I definitely take a good event any day!

Amazing Spider-Man #11:  Oof.  This issue is a mess.  

When Norman confirms to Peter that Kingsley was on hand when Hobgoblin thrashed him, Peter heads to Betty's. When Betty confirms that Ned has been wearing the costume again, she sends Peter to Ned's secret office.  There, Peter learns that Ned is using the "Winkler device," which is what Kingsley originally used to make Ned think that he was Hobgoblin. 

As such, it isn't a surprise when the Hobgoblin attacks Spidey or when Spidey unmasks him as Kingsley.  It is a surprise when Kingsley seems unaware that he was at the site of Hobgoblin's hit on Kingsley and Norman and when Ned appears beside Kingsley as Hobgoblin.  Two Hobgoblins!

I'm assuming Kingsley is actually Daniel Kingsley, Roderick's twin brother.  If he is, Wells has to explain how he isn't dead.  But I'm disappointed that Wells seems to tread on familiar ground hre.  Insane Hobgoblins with memory issues aren't really a hot take on this old character.  We'll see where we go.

Moon Knight Annual #1:  We get an excellent annual here, as Jack Russell kidnaps Diatrice in order to fulfill a prophecy that allows him to murder Khonshu.  Marc and Badr stop him, obviously, but not before McKay makes you wish that Marlene would allow Diatrice to stay in New York so we could marinate in her awesomeness more often.  In addition to Diatrice's awesomeness, McKay peppers great character moments throughout the issue, like when Marc slips into the Jake persona over the shock of seeing Marlene and Badr showing almost a sense of humor when he refuses to obey Khonshu's orders to kill Diatrice.  Marlene's warning to Reese that she'll one day realize that she can't keep Marc safe also rings scarily true.  All in all, it's a textbook definition of what a great annual should be.

New Mutants #31:  I have the same problem with this issue as I do with most gay movies, which is that I don't understand how we gays can make good movies for straight people but not for ourselves.  You would think that Charlie Jane Anders could write about the transgendered mutant she created for "Marvel Voices:  Pride" in a way that worked.  Instead, Escapade feels just like every "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss," where the only notable thing about the character is that they're [x].  Knowing this series is canceled after another two issues, I don't feel the need to hang around any longer.

Sins of the Black Flamingo #5:  For how uneven the last few issues were, Wheeler really sticks the landing here.

The issue begins with Sebastian touching the Devil's Tooth so that he can find Ezekiel.  (Apparently he saw Ezekiel the first time he touched the Tooth, which I don't remember.)  We then move to Ofelia later meeting with Scar and offering him Ezekiel's location since she's (allegedly) furious that Sebastian is going to give him to the Nazis.  Ofelia also gives Scar the Tooth as proof she isn't lying and asks only that Scar doesn't kill Sebastian.

At Ezekiel's location, Merrilee is none-too-pleased when Scar's men surprise her men.  Believing Sebastian betrayed her, she shoots him.  Sebastian plummets off the roof of the building where they're standing as Scar and Ofelia land in his helicopter.  Ofelia is furious that Scar let Sebastian (seemingly) die, though Scar makes the excellent point that he didn't kill Sebastian and it isn't his fault if Sebastian has so many people who want to kill him.  (Fair.)

As Scar prepares to retrieve Ezekiel, Sebastian arrives burning a magical incense that paralyzes Scar with fear.  Having covered himself in "dead things that allow us to walk among marsh lights" (whatever that means), Sebastian reveals that he's immune to the incense's power.  He then opens the storage container where Ezekiel is imprisoned and tongues him.

Meanwhile, in a nearby alley, a distraught Ofelia contemplates leaving behind magic and living a quiet life somewhere nice.  ("Open a bakery.  Date someone in flannel.  Live, laugh, love.")  Always-sexy Abel is with her and worries about Sebastian.  Ofelia is also worried, though more because Abel dies if Sebastian does.  It isn't looking good for Sebastian (and Abel), though, when Scar reveals that he was playing dead and stabs Sebastian in the neck with the Tooth.

As Abel collapses, Ofelia begins a spell that would sever his connection to Sebastian, though Abel stops her from completing it, giving Sebastian some time.  Sebastian proves worthy of Abel's trust as we learn that he slipped Ezekiel a shard of the Tooth when they kissed.  Ezekiel uses it to cut his collar and then destroys Scar and heals Sebastian, possibly also returning his soul (which Sebastian allegedly sacrificed when he touched the Tooth again, according to Ofelia).  As Ezekiel dissipates, he encourages Sebastian to live.

In the epilogue, Ofelia and Sebastian walk with Abel contemplating how to make the world a better place.

If it isn't clear from this recap, this issue crackles with efficiency and energy.  You really don't know what Sebastian is planning from page to page, making his redemption not a foregone conclusion but a welcome one when it comes.  I'm excited for the next installment in Sebastian's story, because he may just start seeing the benefit of walking on the light side.  Either way, he should definitely fuck Abel.

Also Read:  X-Terminators #2