Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The February 28 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Duke #3:  Ah, the Baroness.

Before this issue, we were essentially watching boys playing with their toys.  It was fun, but it was also sort of ridiculous, the idea that Duke was going to play spy on Burkhart's behalf.  I mean, he isn't exactly the spy sort of guy, as Hawk mentions in issue #1.  

The Baroness, on the other hand — well, she's an entirely different kettle of fish.  Duke reviews her history here, which interestingly enough seems to surprise her.  It isn't really a shock that she was a rich kid who got bored and started engaging in black ops for an Eastern European intelligence agency to keep herself amused.  But Duke alludes to something made her go from spy to terrorist and exposits that they still don't what it was.

The Baroness doesn't reveal her cards, though.  Instead, she notes that she left the situation and observes, not incorrectly, that Duke remains committed to his system, even though it's locked him in the same prison as her.  Duke insists that he let himself be captured so he could make his case to the Powers That Be, but he doesn't seem so confident about it when he repeats it for the Baroness.

Before they can continue the discussion, Major Bludd and his Blood Hounds arrive.  Working for Destro, he's been tasked with killing Duke and finding Burkhart's device.  (Destro used Burkhart's tracker to reverse engineer where Duke was, leading Bludd to the Pit.)  Before Bludd can kill a defiant Duke, the Baroness shoots him between the eyes.  Looking at a stunned Duke, she notes the bounty on his head that Bludd mentioned.

All in all, the Baronness injects some much needed energy into this title, distracting me from the nagging questions about how this story and "Transformers" fit in the Energon Universe timeline.

Dungeons & Dragons:  Saturday Morning Adventures II #2:  This issue is interesting because Booher really addresses for the first time that the kids, notably Bobby, are aging.  

Jarlaxle learns that Bobby didn't run from the party; a pirate named Captain Wrathun captured him, for reasons that Booher doesn't reveal.  Jarlaxle hires Minsc and Boo (!) as mercenaries, and the party sets sail across the Trackless Sea for the island of Gundarlun, where Wrathun and the Hanged Man Crew have their hideout.  Sheila confides in Diana that she's struggling with the fact that Bobby is getting older, and Diana tells her that they need to assure Bobby that they'll be here for him as he does.

A dragon turtle takes out their boat, and the party (minus Jarlaxle) find themselves on Gundarlun just in time to find Bobby swearing fealty to the Hanged Man Crew, after Wrathun correctly surmised he wanted to be the warrior Sheila didn't want him to become.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Undiscovered Country #28:  Holy shit, I didn't see that coming.

In a flashback, Dr. Kellogg, Bounty's founder, tells his son, one of the Nephilim, that the other Zones have become dangerous, some of them evil.  He's at the end of his life, so he boards the train to destroy the bridge to Aurora and begs his son to keep up the lie that Bounty is feeding the other Zones so the Nephilim have something in which they believe.  But he also warns him that outsiders will come one day and he'll need to keep his family safe.

In the present, Chang gets Janet to shake off her grief, asserting that Aurora created and cured Sky to build up tension and then grant release, hopefully creating the scenario for the AEA and PAPZ to channel their newly excess energy into war with each other.  Janet realizes he's right, that the United States would then ride into the situation on a white horse, given the goodwill it created in curing Sky, which is why her and Chang's analogues in Zone History ordered the invasion of the United States.  She and Chang recommit to taking out Aurora.

As Ace and Valentina have sex for the first time, the locusts attack, and the team heads off the bridge.  Snyder and Soule are clever here:  I was wondering how the team was going to survive, and then we then see a naked Ace (whose hog is huge, per Chang) flying Buzz, with the rest of the crew hanging off Buzz.  Pavel uses his flaming arm to kill some of the locusts, and, for reasons that aren't totally clear, the locusts decide now to attack the Nephilim.  The crew makes its way back to Bounty only for the Nephilim's leader to blame the team for the locusts' attack and rip Chang in half to save his family!  

I'm assuming Chang survives here but, man, that had to hurt.

Seven-Month-Old Comics: The December 20 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero #302:  Given how much we've seen happen in "Transformers" and "Void Rivals," it feels weird how little progress we've seen in this title.  But Hama makes it clear that he's taking his time as he dedicates five almost-wordless panels at Wade Collins' funeral.

The issue opens with Serpentor Khan attempting to rally the Cobra Island mutants to his cause — to take over Cobra HQ in Springfield and then the world.  When someone questions why they need him, he shoots the offending someone in the head and offers his corpse as food to the rest of the mutants.  Needless to say, it seems clear they'll follow him.  The best part, though, is when a mutant who was an old lady on a Rascal asks Khan what his plans are — underscoring Hama's ability to make Cobra look as ridiculous as it occasionally is.

In Springfield, Cobra Commander briefs the family members of the Cobra employees he left on the Island, informing them that they're mobilizing all Cobra's resources to prepare for the inevitable attack Khan will launch on them.  At Revanche's HQ, Alpha-001 learns of Khan's plans via hidden cameras the B.A.T.S planted in the Casino.

At the Pit in Utah, Mongoose asks Stalker why Collins got an Arlington funeral when he was a Cobra Crimson Guard.  Stalker explains Wade was part of his and Snake-Eyes' unit in Vietnam.  After a Vietcong attack, they thought Wade died, but he survived, spending the rest of the war as a POW.  Rejected as a vet, Wade joined Cobra until Stalker and Snake-Eyes convinced him to leave.  Hawk created a new identity for him and his adoptive family, and one day his son, Sean, joined the Joes.  

In the Command Center, Mainframe tells Duke and Roadblock about the Cobra-on-Cobra violence, thanks to the fact he hacked Revanche, underscoring Revanche isn't as much of a threat as I originally thought.  

Meanwhile, Scarlett and Snake-Eyes are together in a mountain cabin in the Sierras.  Snake-Eyes (whose face remains hidden) tries to tell Scarlett something, but she tells him to wait because she heard a sound.  Excitingly, one of Timber's descendants brings a wolf puppy to Snake-Eyes.

Again, it isn't the most thrilling issue, but we're clearly building to something.

Kill Your Darlings #4:  Oof.  I honestly stopped breathing at some point, reading this issue.

The issue opens with a young Rose locked in the dark basement as punishment for something she did to make her mother mad.  It reveals something from the first issue, that Rose's mother wasn't all hugs and pancakes.

In Rosewood, the "Great and Terrible Evil" chases Rose through a cave and into a cavern, where a purple light shines on a mesa.  Evil resurrects some of Rose's former soldiers to attack her, and Rose flees to the mesa, grabbing Francine, the source of the light.  Rose slashes through the undead as Evil continues to ask her why she returned to Rosewood.  Rose confesses what I think we all assumed — she hoped she could somehow bring back her mother.  

Evil then summons her mother (or, at least, a simulacrum of her).  Rose's "mom" promises to take care of her, though Evil comments that she never really did.  We see image's of Rose's childhood:  of her alone watching TV or staring into an empty fridge, of her sleeping in the car outside the restaurant where her mom worked, of her alone in the dark basement.  Her mom is suddenly ablaze and attacks Rose who kills her with Francine.  Evil then tells Rose her mother's greatest legacy — even more than the scars she left — is him and pushes her into a cavern.

Rose suddenly falls through the ceiling of the video store, where some employees are fixing the damage and one is giving testimony to a cop.  She loses consciousness and "awakens" to blood everywhere and Evil ripping apart a cop.  Evil asks if she slept through it, implying Rose lost consciousness when he killed her mother.  Evil revels in his much bigger "playground," threatening to make Elliott watch what he does and telling Rose that Elliott is screaming at what Evil has already done with his hands.  As Evil seems ready to kill Rose, the door's bell rings and Evil turns to see a woman in a wheelchair.  Calling her "master," it seems clear that she's the Girl who Wouldn't Burn.

As I said, oof.  

Star Wars:  Revelations #1:  For an FCBD-style anthology, this issue is pretty solid.  

The best story is the first one, as Salli Georgio, Advocate-at-Large, tries to convince a judge that a Jedi used his mind trick to get Dengar to destroy "half the port district" as a distraction — and that Dengar didn't, instead, have two bottles of revnog in his system when he stole a speeder and committed the damage.  That story is, in and of itself, hilarious enough to merit inclusion but gets better when Lando calls Salli to defend him at his upcoming treason trial.  Ha!  I can't wait to see Salli in action again.

The Darth Vader story also intrigues me, as Vader apparently plans to track down an elite group of Rebel cyborgs to insert Imperial droid cognitive units in their bodies.  Vader developed this plan after realizing that the Emperor cost him years of work when he made him kill his own Death Troopers (in issue #40), but droids aren't capable of absorbing the years of training that organics are.  Vader hopes to put the two together, which sounds terrible and Vader-y.  That said, the best part is when the protocol droid contemplates the horror awaiting the cyborgs — being trapped in bodies that a master controls — and Vader unceremoniously cuts him in two since his comment struck a little too close to home.

The other ones are pretty good, too.  Sliney's artwork and Woodard's colors on the Jango Fett story evoke Marvel's '70s era "Star Wars" series, which is a pleasure to see.  The High Republic story is touching, as Keeve comes across a local using a lightsaber he found to try to inspire hope in the people of Gallimere on the edge of the Nihil Occlusion Zone.

All in all, as I said, it's pretty great for this sort of issue.

Undiscovered Country #27:  Man, every time you think you're going to get a win in this series...

I was wondering how Snyder and Soule were going to meet the timeframe they've laid out every time they write back matter, given we have a number of unvisited zones left but not many remaining issues.  We get the answer here, as Pavel explains to the team that he traveled those lands on his way to them.

Before Pavel tells his story, though, an enraged Janet screams at Chang over his failure to reveal the phone's existence.  When Pavel suggests they go to Aurora, Janet says they have to find Daniel first.  I thought this comment was interesting coming from Janet, though she may see the need for an ally after Chang betrayed her.  At any rate, Pavel suggests Daniel is likely already there and tells his story.

Disturbed by his failure to save his comrades when he was a POW, Pavel resolved to free the people of Zone Destiny or die trying.  Despite thousands dead, Pavel and his allies succeeded after a year.  Pavel then spendt ten years as the war hero he hoped he would be, helping Zone Destiny rebuild itself into a successful society.  But the demon-looking horse arrived for him one day.

Pavel then explains his journey through America.  He describes Zone Glory, which appears to replicate an active war between the United States and the Soviet Union, a war that Aurora would never allow either side to win.  In Zone Economy, we see capitalism run amok, a place Pavel left as soon as he could.  We then pass through a series of zones without comment - Publicity, Ministry, Security, Biology, and Theocracy - before Pavel arrives in Zone Bounty.

Pavel suggests that they've all now seen everything Aurora wanted them to see, and it's time to travel to the heart.  The giant who runs Zone Bounty suggests they can send the train two days earlier than usual.  Before they leave, though, Janet demands the phone from Charlotte and then tells Chang that they are, in no uncertain terms, done.  Meanwhile, Ace, Charlotte, and Valentina thank the giant, noting Bounty is the only zone where they've gotten unconditional help.  

The giant asks them to ask Aurora about the plague, concerned that the locusts will destroy the crop the following year and the entire country will suffer.  They agree and board the train, hopeful about the future.  Ace considers the promise of America, and Valentina notes this train has fed America year after year, as Bounty's residents exported their surplus food without asking anything in return.

Of course, as I see the focus turn to the locusts, I know something bad is going to happen.  It doesn't, because it already happened:  each version of the train is in a ditch, with the locusts hovering above it.

Snyder and Soule, man.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The October 11 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Hunger and the Dusk #3:  I am very happy to report that I was totally wrong about how this issue would go.

We begin in the aftermath of a battle between the orcs and the Vangol in the North, as Troth observes to his right-hand man, Karok, that they'll exhaust their warriors before the Vangol exhaust their ships.  Faran calls to Troth and points out the dirt below a Vangol warrior's fingers.  She tells him the old poems say the Vangol were a canny lot, though something happened to them when they went to the West that turned them into the monsters they are now.  Karok interrupts the pair right before they kiss.  Troth quips that he hopes his cousin fares better, and Faran hopes she fares well...while far from there.

In the South, Conwy brings a beer to Tara, who's devastated over Loris' death.   She asks Conwy how they could just put her in the ground, implying the orcs have a different funerary custom.  Conwy assures her that Loris' death wasn't her fault.  Tara thanks him for how kind he's been, and Conwy tells her that, in his experience as a warrior, failure and grief play a much larger role than does hope, which often leads to mistakes.  Tara is upset Cal isn't speaking to her, and Conwy tells her that it's because he's mourning a friend.  On cue, Cal tells everyone to get moving.

At a campfire that night, Conwy tells Cal that he's got to talk to Tara, reminding him that she's far from home.  He goes to her tent (bum-chick-a-bow-wow) and also tells her that Loris' death wasn't her fault.  Tara rues that she couldn't heal Loris despite all her skill, and, striking a similar theme as Troth, Cal tells her that there are too many Vangols and too few of them.  He suggestively lies back, hands behind his head.  He tells Tara that their partnership won't fail, because they've both been sent from their families.  It would've crushed most people, but they're survivors.  Tara cuddles to him.

They awake in this position the next day when one of the Last Men's scouts finds a Vangol scout and the Last Men capture him.  Tara recognizes that the Vandal is speaking a 500-year-old dialect, realizing they must've continued using their language after they left the continent.  Pulling out the arrow with which Conwy shot him, Tara tells the Vangol she'll heal him if he helps them.

The Vangol reveals how the Vangol have been traveling where they shouldn't be:  underground tunnels (recalling the dirt Faran found under the Vangol's fingertips).  Before they went extinct, the dwarves apparently built tunnels to the sea in case they had to escape their underground fortresses.  The entrances are only accessible during low tide, so you have to know where to look for them.  Tara pleads for Cal to send someone to tell Troth, which he does.

In the North, Troth and Faran attend the funeral for the dead soldiers, showing the more formal ceremony that Tara mentioned.  (Interestingly, the burial is at a peak with a view of two mountains, which they call the Two Twins, referring to their gods.)  Faran takes Troth into a tent to get busy (maybe for the first time), though Karok interrupts them again, this time to announce the arrival of the Last Men's rider.  (Karok hilariously apologizes when he sees a barely covered Faran in the doorway.)

Down South, the Last Men release the Vangol and Mikil goes to follow it.

Again, Willow is doing a great job here.  The intercultural tension is present, but she isn't playing it up as much as other authors would.  Instead, she keeps you focused on the tension that's actually driving everyone's actions, namely the Vangol threat.  It feels more realistic in that way, and I can't wait to see where we keep going.

Star Wars:  Dark Droids #3:  Let's get right to it.

The issue opens with the Scourge recalling the memories of a droid who once witnessed diamond rain on a planet where he worked as a laborer.  The Scourge gets lost in the beauty of it before realizing that he needs to inhabit Threepio fully, given the danger of his mission on Mustafar.  It's the first hint the Scourge is straining to stay coherent with all the minds under his control.  

On the Chelator, now Scourge 1, the Scourge inhabits a body that resembles the Witch-king of Angmar.  (It's pretty great.)  He realizes the Rebels also know of his presence, pitting him against two powerful enemies.  He's still focused on controlling "the meat," though, and we're treated, if it's the right word, to a horror show of droids with organic limbs.  (The droid with a skull for a head is terrifying.)

However, he can't control the bodies' consciousnesses yet.  He observes that he was created to inhabit organics, commenting on the Spark Eternal inhabiting Miril and Aphra.  (I don't know who Miril is, but I'm assuming they're a character from "Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra.")

On Mustafar, a droid attacks Vader in the bacta tank where we left him at the end of "Star Wars:  Darth Vader" #39, and it's chilling to see the droid and its fellow dragging a limbless Vader through the facility.  Of course, Vader isn't powerless, and he uses the Force to control his lightsaber and destroy the droids.

But the Scourge is forced to turn his attention to Scourge 1, as Ajax and his compatriots arrive.  The Scourge is worried the reprisals are happening faster than he expected, another sign that he's flailing.  But Ajax is also flailing, as his unending stream of inspiring quotes from motivation posters ends when TIE fighters take out Gertee.  

Meanwhile, the Scourge wonders if he didn't make a mistake in going after Vader when he did, as he struggles to fight off Ajax *and* find a way to take control of cyborgs.  He realizes he has to decide between fighting off Ajax, taking out Vader, or hacking the cyborgs (cue the repulsive scene of a R2-series unit with arms and legs).  Realizing he has to save himself first and foremost, he takes on Ajax and his followers, who self-destruct to protect their secrets.  

He then figures out a way to take control of the cyborgs, by transmitting himself in waves, not all at once.  With Ajax's invasion repelled and the cyborgs hacked, the Scourge goes for the trifecta:  taking out Vader.  However, Vader uses the Force to go after the spider droid coming toward his "helpless" body.   Oh, well.  Two out of three isn't bad.

Elsewhere, Ajax flees Scourge 1 alone, and the Scourge delights in suddenly taking on cyborgs, including Lobot, Valance, and someone else I don't recognize.

Like other issues, this issue requires a lot of concentration, mostly due to the fact that so much information comes from the Scourge's lengthy narration sequences.  But we're getting enough action in the tie-in issues to make it a worthwhile read.

Undiscovered Country #26:  This issue doesn't make a lot of sense, in part because it isn't supposed to make a lot of sense.  Aurora - or America - is playing a game, and the rules aren't clear.

500 miles off the California coast, Admiral Nelson of the AEA and Admiral Liu of the PAPZ ponder the fate of the party they just sent over the wall, which we now know was only three days ago.  Liu invites Nelson to dine with him and his officers that night, and Nelson is offering to return the favor when a PAPZ officer interrupts.  The officer informs Liu they must escort all AEA officers off PAPZ ships and then head immediately to the Taiwan Strait.  The officer makes it clear the Emperor issued the orders, and Nelson, revealing he speaks Mandarin, acknowledges that shit gets crazy sometimes.  After Nelson departs, the officer reveals to Liu that a plane has crashed into Taipei, with a spectacular image from Camuncoli emphasizing the devastation.

At the Vajont Dam in the Alps, a man named Joshua tests positive for Sky.  Annie tells Joshua she'll run him to one of the treatment centers down the coast, but Joshua refuses, figuring he'd rather die in the Alps than in a camp.  Annie, with whom he seems to have a romantic relationship, refuses to let him.  Annie asks if he wants to call his parents, and he says that he wouldn't want to bother them, as they're very busy people.

900 miles from Taiwan, Liu expresses disbelief in the PAPZ's assessment that the AEA intentionally shot down the passenger jet.  Liu confirms to a suit in Beijing that the AEA's Pacific Fleet is following them to provide humanitarian aid, and the suit announces the PAPZ has just extended its maritime border 1,000 miles, just as the Pacific Fleet hits 950 miles.  On the AEA ship, an officer points out this new border means they're in PAPZ territory, but Nelson notes leaving the area would acknowledge the PAPZ's claim.  Another officer informs Nelson the PAPZ fleet is spinning up its missile cruiser, and Nelson orders him to do the same.

In Italy, Annie and Joshua have spent time clearing the road, implying some level of devastation in this area.  Joshua begins coughing and confesses to Annie that he realizes they should've had a child.  He was excited about it, though he never told her that, and he can't "think of a single reason that ever seemed like something to put off."  It's funny how, as a parent, I think about that all the time, about how I wonder what exactly I needed to do before I became a parent.  

On Nelson's ship, his officer confirms the missile the PAPZ fleet fired was an older model, possibly meaning they weren't trying to hurt them.  Nelson orders the armory "kids" to return fire in the same vein and wonders why they're firing at all.  (If it isn't clear, Liu and Nelson are great characters, the polar opposite of Chang and Janet's squabbling bureaucrats.  They're professional soldiers who understand how the game works and not to take it personally.)

In Italy, Annie gets Joshua to a camp, but he's already crying blue.  The triage officer says that it isn't protocol to treat someone this far gone, but Annie tells him to scan Joshua's ID chip.  The guy opens his eyes wide and orders Joshua to get one of the few courses of "orgocet" left.

On Liu's ship, Liu informs a hologram of the Emperor that the action he's ordered him to take will result in a serious escalation of their conflict.  But the Emperor is furious the AEA is denying responsibility for the million lives lost and orders him to attack.  Liu says they'll fire the "hungry ghost" missiles at one of the AEA cruisers, and the officer exposits the AEA doesn't know about them so won't be able to deploy efficient countermeasures.

One second before the missile strikes, several lasers destroy them and an enormous helicarrier, for lack of a better term, decloaks over the ships.  Uncle Sam announces that it's the United States of America, and they've prevented the two sides from going to war.  Sam announces the negotiating team successfully convinced them to send out the Sky cure, and we see capsules full of odd robots deploying the cure with what looks like a fork.

Meanwhile, Nelson gets a message that he relays to Liu, who's responsible for communication with the negotiators:  he's to inform Janet that her son, Joshua, died.

In Zone Plenty, a stunned Charlotte returns to the team.  She informs them that America or Aurora (raising the possibility they're not the same entity) released the Sky cure to the world.  She also confirms that the AEA and PAPZ believe they (the negotiators) were responsible.  Janet notes they didn't even begin the negotiations, and Charlotte informs her that her son died of Sky.  A furious Janet rants that America had the power to save her son at any time but didn't.  (Fair.)

Suddenly, one of the Plenty-ers announces the "rider" is back, and they all turn to see Pavel riding a crazy looking horse.  The issue ends with him asking, "You want to go see Aurora?"  Fuck yeah, Pavel.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The September 13 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

From the World of Minor Threats:  The Alternates #1:  This issue is OK.  Given the marvel that was "Minor Threats," I get it's unreasonable to expect this series to reach the same heights.  But I'll be honest that I don't really find myself caring as much about the characters here as I did the "Minor Threats" ones.  

They're certainly sympathetic characters, though.  The Continuum apparently sent the six Alternates through a portal into "the Ledge," some sort of alternate dimension, in order to close it behind them.  They then spent time in this other dimension where their powers behaved in different ways.  For example, our protagonist, Mary Marie, found that her shape-shifting powers (which she gained when a Transylvanian midwife used Van Helsing's dagger to do an emergency C-section on her mother) meant the lords of darkness and moonlight revered her as a queen.  Understandably, she misses the connection to these creatures she experienced.  Crab Louie does as well, as he was the "Kin Crustacea" in the Ledge, connected to "all arthropods by an 'etheric neural web.'"

We're introduced to the team as they sit in group therapy and try to pull their lives together in the "real" world.  Mary Marie quits the sessions, saying she's succeeded in getting her life on track, though we know she's lying.  But it doesn't matter as the Silencer (the female Superman on the Continuum) visits Mary Marie and Tripper (the Alternates' leader) to warn them the Continuum has detected traces of the Ledge in Twilight City.  Mary Marie is furious when the Silencer implies the Alternates somehow brought the Ledge with them, even though she yearns to return there.  When the Divider (one of the Alternates) contacts her, she and Tripper go to his apartment and find him dead.  Sure enough, they also find a portion of the Ledge in a vial.

It's a solid premise that should grab me, but it doesn't, at least not yet.  I'll hang in there for the next few issues, though, since I have hope for this crew.

Coda #1:  Holy shit, this issue is *dense.*  In fact, it's *so* dense that I'm honestly considering not getting the second issue because I'm not sure I can have another "The Last God" in my life.

The issue's framing structure involves the unnamed protagonist (later dubbed "Hum") writing to his wife, Serka.  This letter reveals quickly that this world suffered an apocalypse called the Quench.  A former bard, Hum struggles to reconcile the magical world he knew before the Quench with the grim reality of the present day.  His musings come as he scrapes goo off the inside of a dragon skeleton.  The thing is, the skeleton is still alive:  all the dragons lost their magic in the Quench, but they're immortal so they remain tethered to their skeletons.  (Oof.)  The dragon hilariously exhorts Hum to kill the rats scurrying inside him lest he immolate him, but Hum knows it's an empty (heh) threat.

After extracting something from the dragon, Hum moves on his way.  But a bandit stops him and reveals that he hides shiny things in the skeleton to attract marks.  But he's surprised when Hum's"pentacorn" (i.e., a demonic unicorn) bites him in two.  The dragon begs Hum to give him the powerful ring he senses Hum has on his person, but Hum merely mounts his pentacorn and leaves.  Another group of bandits chases Hum and his pentacorn, injecting "akker" into their horses to turn them into monsters (like the pentacorn).  One bandit speeds toward Hum only for him to knock the man off his horse and the pentacorn to bite off the horse's head.

Hum arrives at Ridgetown, which is a fortified city with an enormous cannon atop a tower looming over it.  Hum gives us more back story as he arrives in town, expositing that the "latest in a long line of unpronounceable dark lords" finally won, raining down fire from the sky and killing the "ylves."  Since that point, magic hasn't existed.  Hum submits to the guards searching him at the gate but smuggles in his ring in his fake leg.

At a tavern, a young urchin sees Hum writing and asks why he's doing so.  She informs him that someone took his pentacorn and asks him for a drop of "green" (i.e., the akker) to tell him where it is.  She also demands to know why he's writing his wife, and he responds that the Urken took her.  The girl feels badly for him as a result and tells him that no one took his pentacorn, the guards just moved him for the parade.  The girl goes with Hum to watch said parade, which entails beasts pulling three large cannonballs  The girl exposits that the cannonballs are for the "doomlauncher," and the mayor, Satlark, parades them through the streets when it's time to take them to the "distillery" to get charged.  Hum notices a guy running toward the cannonballs and throws the girl to the ground before the guy and several other people attack the cannonballs, which explode.  The guards are frantic, but Hum manages to trip a surviving assailant by throwing his fake leg at him.  The assailant uses a nearby knife to kill himself before the guards can interrogate him.

In an audience with Satlark, Hum turns over a badge the bandit from earlier was using to shake down his marks, revealing it's a Ridgetown badge.  The mayor notices Hum's ring, evaluating it at a "vial or two" and guessing he hid it in his leg.  She exposits that she was a grandee of "let us say - a merchant's guild" (sus).  When Hum declines to give his name, just uttering his usual, "Hm," Satlark calls him "Hum."  

Satlark informs Hum that she wants him to become one of her Paladins of Peaceguard (who wear the badge he found).  Hum laughs, saying champions, dignity, guilds, and paladins were ridiculous before the Quench but even more so now.  Satlark notes that Hum saved a child, despite his seeming aversion to hope.  He says that he finds the underdogs most deserve the bone, and Satlark informs him Ridgetown is the underdog.  He dismisses this comment, though she brings him to the top of the tower to show him their enemy.  She has Hum look through a telescope, and Bergara and Doig do a great job here as you see a looming figure whose head and torso extend above the clouds.  Satlark confirms it's Thudergog, the last Giant.  He apparently responds to orders from a bandit clan, and the Doomlauncher is the only defense against them.  She tells Hum that, unexpectedly, they have more magic than iron, so while they forge more iron they need help keeping Ridgetown safe.  

Later, a paladin escorts Hum on a quest, explaining that he needs to complete it to become a Paladin.  He's surprised Satlark told Hum about the Trove, "a mighty horde of the sorcerous distillate - aqua anima (i.e., akker)."  But only a Paladin can access the vault where it's stored.  (Aha.). The Paladin reveals the quest (a word Hum doesn't let him use) is to follow a group of bandits comprised of the aforementioned Urken, a giant-like race who are "survivors of the Dark Lord's foulest armies."  The Paladin takes some akker, but the Urken defeats him easily.  Hum searches the Paladin's body for akker, saying that he'll use it to distract the Urken and kill him.  The Paladin asks how he knows so much about the Urken and, pausing, Hum reveals that a "savage clan" has his wife.  The Paladin stays with the pentacorn as Hum approaches the Urken.  He speaks the Urken's language, and it's clear that he isn't really an enemy of the Urken, which makes it curious why they're holding his wife.  Hum recognizes the Urken's brand means that he isn't a bandit but part of a caravan and asks him to bring him to his leader, who he knows.

At the camp, we're introduced to said leader, Murkrone (a.k.a. "Murk"), a mermaid-like creature who swims in wine.  Murk once told Hum that she could create something to help him save his wife, and Hum reveals his collections to her (including the scab off the dragon that we saw him collect earlier as well as the Paladin's sword and akker).  Murk confirms that he still doesn't have enough akker to do what he wants.  But we also learn why she's good at business:  she guesses that Hum wants to know how much akker he has to steal from Ridgetown to make the item.

Hum departs with a box of iron after shopping Murk's shop (at mate's rates) and tells the Paladin that he killed the Urken and scared the rest into giving him the iron as a tithe.  Ridgetown greets Hum as a hero and initiates him into the Paladins.  That night, he spikes the Paladins' drinks so he can make his way into the Trove, where he discovers the source of the akker:  the last surviving elf, chained to a wall, whose flesh they take to distill akker.  Dun-dun-DUN!

All in all, it's a solid issue, but, man, it is *not* easy to follow.  I had to read it three or four times just to pull together this summary.  I guess I'll give the second issue another go, but, if each issue is this complicated, I'm probably done.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #38:  In theory, this issue is about Vader holding off the Scourge-controlled droids long enough for his own droid squad to reestablish the Executor's fail-safe mechanism, returning control of the ship to Admiral Piett.  But it's really about the Empire's brutality.  

Mas Amedda sends several Star Destroyers to destroy the Executor, but Admiral Corleque sends a rescue crew instead, revealing that Piett once saved his life during the Battle of Comantira.  Piett sends men to the hull to use the old flag code to warn Corleque's men to beware the droids, but they don't listen and the rescue squad includes droids who the Scourge absorbs once they arrive on the Executor.  The Scourge then send droids to Coleque's ship, taking it over quickly.  Piett gives Corleque time to escape, but he's eventually forced to destroy the ship with all onboard.  It's poignant in that you know Piett isn't just a monster; he really tried to save Corleque but also understood the threat was too great in allowing the Scourge more time.

Meanwhile, Vader flees to Mustafar, not realizing the Scourge now controls Zed, who introducing it to the "Techno Union droid factory of Mustafar."  Ruh-roh.

Undiscovered Country #25:  Snyder and Soule make it pretty clear that we're coming to the end.

First things first, the team finds itself in Zone Bounty, where giant-sized humans  produce 80 percent of America's crops.  They believe Aurora sent the team to Zone Bounty to help with the pestilence afflicting the crops.  They apparently communicate directly with Aurora via a train in which they send the crops once a year.  The train is leaving in two days, giving the team the opportunity to speak directly with Aurora.

Second, though, Chang's communication with the PAPZ leader reveals that the team has only been in America for three days and *somehow* their presence resulted in the AEA and PAPZ getting the cure for Sky, saving the world.  Before Chang can get more information, enormous locusts attack him and interrupt his call.  The now-robotic Buzz and the giants save Chang and the rest of the team, though Chang doubles back later to get his phone.  Lottie is onto him, as she revealed earlier in the issue.  She knocks Chang unconscious and grabs the phone, which is when the leader confirms the oustide world somehow has the cure for Sky.

It seems we're just left with two questions:  how and why?  Lottie notes to Chang in their first conversation that every zone has taught them not to invade America, almost like Aurora is asking for help in defending America from an invasion.  Given what we saw of the future in Zone History, it seems possible AEA and PAPZ have already invaded, which is how they secured Sky.  We'll see, I guess.

Meanwhile, Snyder and Soule use Valentina and Ace reconnecting as a chance to discuss Aurora's other message, namely the fact that everything changes and you can only make the best decision in the moment you occupy.  Snyder and Soule note they started the series in 2019, which seems a long time ago.  You can tell the pandemic is really influencing the series' philosophy, a good reminder to engage more directly with life than we usually do as humans.

Twelve-Month-Old Comics!: The March 22 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #32:  It’s been months since I’ve read an issue of this series, but I’m still over this Sabé story.  

Vader appeals to Sabé to help him take out Jul Tambor, since she now knows what type of man Jul is.  When it appears Sabé is ready to take up Vader on his offer, Eirtaé (I think) grabs her and bolts.  Using their anti-gravity belts, the Handmaidens fly her to their ship, where Ochi is waiting.   But Sabé unbuckles her belt and falls, knowing Vader would use his powers to catch her.  (The full-page image of Sabé floating to Vader is spectacular.)  

With Sabé now in his corner, Vader puts the mission to take out Jul under her command.   Rather than bombarding his location, as the Empire would do, Sabé informs Jul of Vader’s location but asks him to hold off attacking it, as 12 Skakoan refugees are there.  Jul bombs it anyway.  In a conversation with Sabé, he exults about ruling Skako Minor once again.  Sabé reveals that she recorded his words and plays them for the refugees who realize he was willing to kill him to rule (and not just defeat the Empire).

The Skakoans quickly turn against Jul, and Sabé consolidates Imperial control over Skako Minor.  Vader is disappointed she didn’t kill Jul, though she correctly notes he would’ve become a martyr, rather than disgraced, if she did.  Sabé praises the peace that now exists there, though Vader corrects her, calling it “order.”  It’s a nice reminder that Anakin's obsession with order turned him to the Dark Side (if you buy him having any motivation other than Lucas needing him to become Vader by the end of "Star Wars:  Revenge of the Sith").  

Sabé tells Vader that she left the Handmaidens so they could go about their lives.  It took me a second read to realize that Sabé, probably correctly, assumed Vader would've killed them all if Sabé had returned to the fold since she would've presumably told them that he's Anakin Skywalker.  Now, she tells him, she'll be the only one to lose her soul.  Weirdly, Vader reacts to this conversation the way he did when he discovered that he killed Padmé at the end of “Star Wars:  Revenge of the Sith," inadvertently crushing items around him while uttering, “You are not the only one.”  

Despite my dislike of this arc, I do buy that ending.  That said, I buy it because, after all these years, I still find myself wanting to find a connection between Vader and Anakin.  Pak uses Sabé as a way to tease out that evolution, one of the only effective efforts I've seen.  At the end of the day, though, Lucas did so little in terms of justifying Anakin's fall that nothing I've seen since really convinces me they're the same person.  Pak tried his best, but it remains Star Wars' original sin.

Undiscovered Country #24:  Snyder and Soule resort to a few dei ex machina to move us from Zone History to Zone Bounty.  It isn't the most satisfying ending to an arc, but at least it's an ending.

Levant takes Charlotte and Valentina to the space beneath Apollo 11 on the day it launches.  A raving Levant reveals that all this colleagues (and likely he) went insane when they realized that, in every simulation they ran, the timeline ended at the same point.  Levant "had to take care" of his colleagues, which clearly means that he killed them.  Levant apparently asked Aurora about it, but he tells the women that Aurora is losing it.  

Given their connection to someone they love in the real world (Daniel for Charlotte, Ace for Valentina), they refuse Levant's offer to pick an era where they could stay.  Disappointed, he decides to leave for 1981 America, since he has roughly 20 years left.  It's a little convenient, but it's actually kind of refreshing that Levant isn't the sort of crazed monster that Destiny Man or Dr. Jain was.  Before Apollo 11 launches, though, a portal opens.

Meanwhile, in Beijing, Ace conveniently kills Emperors Chang and Janet before they can reveal what they learned that turned them against America ("What we learned was that in order for Aurora to --").  Ace asks Janet if she expected him to stand there while her future self justified murdering him, to which, if I were Janet, I would've responded, "Yes, you fucking tool!"  Before he dies, Emperor Chang passes a device to Chang.

Suddenly, Charlotte and Valentina arrive, and Bukowski arrests everyone.  However, Future Valentina appears via a holographic projection from Buzz and convinces Bukowski to let them go because they matter whereas she and Bukowski will disappear when Aurora shuts down the experiment.  Bukowski agrees to help them to the next zone.  Poignantly, Janet asks him what they'll do now, and Bukowski responds, "I don't think it matters."  

It's very "Matrix"-esque, elevating the lived experience of people in the "real world" above the "people" within the simulated one.  That said, in the "Matrix," the people within the simulated world had physical counterparts in the "real world."  Here, you realize these people - except for Bukowski and Valentina - think they're real, which raises the question of whether they are.  Cogito ergo sum.

In Zone Bounty, Janet is unexpectedly overcome with emotion that Charlotte and Valentina are alive, which is weird.  Is she feeling proxy guilt for a version of herself killing them?  At any rate, Charlotte and Valentina relate their experience, though Chang and Janet aren't buying what Aurora is selling.  As Chang says, of course Aurora is going to advocate a position discouraging anyone from invading America.  Janet also points out it's a convoluted way of getting to a pretty obvious message.  (It is indeed, Janet.)

As the team continues through the forest of corn, Chang uses the device Future Chang handed him, enabling him to contact the PAPZ ships just off the California coastline.  Dun-dun-DUN!

X-O Manowar Unconqured #1:  I know little of Aric of Dacia, but I heard this miniseries was a good introduction to him.  It is, though I'm not sure it's a good thing.

Under orders, a soothsayer (whose name we later learn is Nimane) tells her emperor (whose name we later learn is Ursus Nox) her vision of Aric surrounded by a sea of bodies.  Distrurbed, she refuses to consider the scene more, so the frustrated Nox pushes for her to focus on the present and tell him where Aric is now.  She reveals that he and his armor, Shanhara, are trying to prevent a comet from striking Earth.

Turning to Aric, he and Shanhara succeed, crashing onto a frozen planet that Aric dubs Scythia.  Shanhara scans the comet's remains and reveals that it was a mand-made explosive meant for them not Earth.  (I’m not sure how she knew it was meant for them but details.)  Aric informs Shanhara that they have to stay on Scythia until the enemy presents itself lest they endanger Earth.

Back at Nox's HQ, one of his generals, Cadmus, suggests to Commander Aurum that they have a backup plan if they're unable to pry Shanhara off Aric.  Cadmus complains that Shanhara is a legend with which Nox is obsessed, and Aurum warns him that he's tip-toeing on the line between loyalty and treason.  

Later, on Scythia, Nox’s troops arrive and reveal to Aric that Nox rules the Imperium Novus Romanus.  Aric is surprised to encounter Romans.  That said, I’m not sure they're really are or if they picked bait they knew Aric the Visigoth would take, given Cadmus and Aurum fear Aric has figured out it’s a trap.  Otherwise, I'm not sure what the trap is.  

Re-reading the recap, this issue sounds more exciting than it felt reading it.  I mostly  felt like I was just getting an AI-generated story about a Visigoth fighting the Romans in space.  I’m going to bail here while the bailing is good.

Twelve-Month-Old Comics!: The February 22 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Black Cloak #2:  This series is, bar none, the best on the market and everyone should read it now!

We begin with Phaedra on a slab in the morgue.  She isn't dead, though.  Nida enters as Phaedra awakens and informs her that the assailant stabbed her with a dracona dagger and informs *us* that only draconas are likely to survive assaults from dracona daggers.  Dun-dun-DUN!  Phaedra mentions off-handedly that someone attacked her at the castle, and Nida interrupts her, shocked, since Phaedra hadn't told her about the attack yet.  Phaedra dismisses the castle attack as "honor bullshit" but notes that the dracona attack was definitely not that.

To explain how she isn't dead, Phaedra recalls that the elves magically healed her after the castle attack, so they could argue the magic persisted and saved her.  Nida points out the small pair of wings Phaedra grew suggests she tell everyone the truth.  Phaedra refuses, saying people will kill her mother and possibly her father.  Nida is enraged that Phaedra has to live her life in exile, fearing "honor killings and retribution at any moment," thus directly tying Phaedra's exile to her heritage.  It sounds like she had to leave to keep the secret, but I wonder what the cover story for leaving was.  Phaedra tells Nida that she likes her life, but Nida isn't buying it.

After Nida leaves, Phaedra realizes that she's next to Freyal's body.  Upon inspection, she finds a scar in his tattoo, which the computer diagnoses as probably self-inflected.  A tearful Phaedra asks his body why he would do that and laments that he's cold, noting that he always hated the cold.

In a flashback, Phaedra's mother recalls when the tattoos were a solemn rite, which she hated, because she felt bound by it.  But she says all the kids think they're cool so they love them.  Phaedra replies that she loves Freyal and the tattoo is just a bonus.  She realizes though that her mother was saying that she didn't love her father, and her mother slyly tells her that she loved her father more than anything.  Phaedra realizes that the stories don't align, but Freyal arrives in time to distract her.  They have a lovely moment but, as they kiss, Phaedra feels an itch, not realizing that her nascent wings cause it.

Leaving the morgue, Phaedra encounters Pax as he reviews the "lookie-loos" he's had to interview (and accuses Phaedra of almost getting killed just to avoid the interviews.)  

After interviewing a few lunatics together, they come to Romu and Iona, who I think are two of the hooligans who were at the Lookout last issue.  Iona tells Phaedra that they're there because mermaids get a bad rap.  Romu tells Phaedra and Pax that he and Iona stayed after the other two hooligans (Jessup and Tomig) left.  Apparently if the wind is right you can hear the mermaids, which Romu describes as a test of wills.  As they watched (Romu says they "do really cool stuff"), a figure in a "long, dark hooded cloak" floated to the beach carrying a body.  Romu then saw a flash of light, and the body was gone and the figure was already at the wall leaving.  Iona tells Phaedra that she saw the "big flash of gold light," but Romu had the spyglass so she can't confirm everything else other than that she saw a figure.

Suddenly, a noise signaling "ten ticks until the Brownout" happens, and Iona and Romu panic, telling the detectives that they have to get home before their parents get mad.  After the kids leave, Pax notes that their figure didn't have wings so he assumes it used magic to float.

At home, Phaedra realizes that she isn't alone, and three very well dressed humans reveal themselves.  The woman is surprised Phaedra senses them since they were "well cloaked."  Phaedra tells them that she knows who they are:  the woman is Elea Veris, and the men are Galal III of Veris and Aldric II of Solas.  Phaedra describes them as the three most powerful humans in Kiros.  

Galal is apparently the next in life for the throne now that Freyal is dead, which is an interesting political arrangement.  Phaedra notes that it would shift power from the elves to humans for the first time.  Galal tells Phaedra that they want their names cleared so they don't ascend the throne under a scandal, and Phaedra notes that the Queen is still alive and will outlive them all.  Galal responds with a muted, "Of course," instantly putting our suspicion on them (particularly given that they're magic users).  

When Phaedra asks what they want, Galal responds that they don't want anything from her:  they want to give her a "nice juicy lead."  Next, Phaedra is exiting her apartment and calling Pax to meet her at the Trees, where he apparently already is.  She passes through a beautiful gate warning non-fliers to proceed with caution and takes a ferris wheel-like elevator into the Trees.  Cryptically, the issue ends with Phaedra saying to the camera (if you will), "Let's see what you can tell me yourself, Freyal."

As I mentioned last issue, the world-building here is spectacular.  Thompson has created a world so full of detail that it feels impossible that we'd ever come to grasp its full historical, political, and social realities, even in 100 issues.  Moreover, we get most of this information not through expository monologuing but through character development.  Moreover, McLaren's love of the story is clear in each line she draws and color she paints.

 Again, I can't recommend it enough.

Dragon Age:  The Missing #2:  I don't particularly remember Solas as turning people to stone, but I might've glossed over that detail after learning that he was the elven god responsible for creating the Fade.  But it's a relevant piece of data, since Varric and Harding arrive at Lady Crysanthus' estate in Vyrantium to discover her petrified (and the Antaam sieging Vyrantium).  After shaking down Crysanthus' valet, Varric and Harding discover a secret room showing her efforts to help the Venatori make a strike against the Imperium.  (I'm assuming she'd benefit from a Venatori-led Imperium.)  She and the Venatori sought the Crucious Stone, some sort of elven magical artifact in the Arlathan forest, where only a few Dalish tribes reside.  It seems clear now that the invitation we saw at the end of last issue is one Crysanthus sent the Venatori and Solas intercepted.  To Arlathan we go!

Local Man #1:  I picked up this series because I loved Seeley's work on "Grayson" and "Nightwing," and I'm thrilled I did.  Like Seely, I was a 15 year old (well, 16 year old) kid when "Youngblood" hit the stands, and I couldn't have been more excited.  I didn't totally understand it, and the focus on sex made me nervous.  (Shaft made me feel...things second only to the way Spartan from "WildC.A.T.s" made me feel...things.)  Like Seeley says here, it felt freeing to see Liefeld tell the story that he wanted to tell, one of the first times that comics seemed to depict superheroes the way that they'd likely exist in reality.

I'm thrilled to say Seeley and Fleecs capture that feeling in a bottle here.  First, they ramps up my excitement when Jack's mother asks him if he's tried getting Brigade or Cyberforce to hire him.  The authors doesn't just get the vibe of that Imageverse (which they totally get) but make it clear we're actually in that universe.  I enjoyed Chad Bowers' reboot of "Youngblood," as it was filled with the same bold-faced narrative and brightly colored action as the original series were.  But Seeley and Fleecs are taking the vibe of that era and infusing it with...well, a plot.  The art drives home this point, as the issue's color palette is subdued when portraying Jack's present and bold when portraying Third Gen.

Getting to the basics, the aforementioned "Jack" is Jack Xaver, formerly Crossjack of Third Gen.  Third Gen enterprises fired Jack for reasons that aren't clear.  It *is* clear that he's a disgrace, something his mother actually calls him when he arrives home.  (Also driving home that point is when a guy recognizes him sitting at the bus stop and yells out, "Fuck Crossjack.")  Jack escapes home for a bar where a guy named Hodag busts past the bouncer.  Jack thinks he wants to fight him and doesn't give Hodag a chance to reveal that he's there to tell him about a "place" he went.

After Jack gets thrown from the bar, his high-school sweetheart Inga takes him to her diner.  You get the sense that Inga isn't as happy as her Facebook page implies she is, but their conversation is interrupted when Third Gen appears to serve Jack papers for using a shield in his fight, contrary to his agreement.  Jack declines Inga's offer of a ride home (possibly because he knows something might develop) and is surprised to find to his parents' elderly dog, Pepper, in a field.  Pepper is more than she appears:  Jack swears she was 14 years old when he left home, and she evades the projectile he throws at her in the field despite his later insistence that he never misses.

But Pepper isn't the only mystery, as someone kills Hodag in his cell as he's yet again talking about how he's hoping to tell Jack about the place that can make the pain disappear.

All in all, it's a wonderful start.  I'm here for where Seeley and Fleece are taking us.

Star Wars:  Yoda #4:  This series is taking the vignette approach of similar series, though the recent "Star Wars:  Obi-Wan Kenobi" series felt more coherent than this one.  

Starting off this arc, Yoda invites Count Dooku to spend time with the recent class of Padawans.  Dooku becomes the confidante of a Wookiee Padawan who had a vision that the Trandoshians were going to massacre his people.  It's notable because one of the Wookiee's friends is a Trandoshian, which Yoda sees as evidence of what Jedi training can achieve by removing Padawans from their people's prejudices.  When the Wookiee tells Dooku about his vision, Dooku suggests the young Wookiee tell no one of his vision, alluding to the fate of Sifo-Dyas, his old yet seemingly estranged friend.

It's all fine, but it feels more like AI-generated fan-fiction right now than anything else.  Like the first arc, I don't particularly feel like I've gotten any insight into Yoda himself.  It's mostly Yoda being Yoda.

Undiscovered County #23:  Snyder and Soule are vamping here, as we don't really learn anything new.  

Future Chang and future Janet bring Present Chang and Present Janet to a movie theater to reveal the world's greatest secret, whatever it was that they saw in America that made them decide to kill Ace, Charlotte, and Daniel.  However, Ace arrives with a souped up Buzz and ruins the party before we can learn more.

In the flashback (flash forward?), Future Chang and Future Janet reveal that they only need to stop Charlotte and Daniel from reaching the center of the Spiral (and not necessarily to prevent them from leaving America with the Sky cure).  Future Ace has Future Valentina flee, which she does, but Future Valentina doesn't reveal why Future Chang and Future Janet let her live out her days in the Empire.  She tells Present Ace that she doesn't know why they decided to act agains their colleagues, so I guess she wasn't a risk.

In the past, Charlotte and Valentina swipe Lavant's tablet, which controls time, and escape through a variety of timelines until Lavant attacks them at Gettysburg.  I don't really get the physics here, to be honest.  Lavant told Charlotte and Valentina that Aurora was able to create all these timelines, but he actually becomes Abraham Lincoln, implying a higher level of manipulation than I thought.  I guess that makes sense, since the whole point of Zone History is to manipulate events to see how they create different outcomes.

This arc still remains intriguing, as it feels like the "greatest secret" will change what we understand about how Aurora works and where the team fits into her plans.  But it's time to get there.

Five-Month-Old Comics: The December 7 Non-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Batman #130:  I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  Zdarsky is playing for keeps here.

The issue opens with a spectacular seven-page spread focused on Bruce finding a way to survive falling from the Moon to Earth.  He swipes a booster and oxygen canister from one of the Justice League ships that Failsafe destroyed last issue, initiates nine-g bursts of propulsion every three to four seconds for an hour, spends eight hours and 31 minutes in free fall, and uses his trunks as a face shield after his oxygen mask burns in reentry.  It's something else.

Of course, Bruce doesn't just randomly land on Earth:  he lands at the Fortress of Solitude.  (He used the compressed air in his grappling hook to direct the booster's position because of course he did.)  Failsafe almost immediately arrives after him, and an awakened Superman goes to fight it as Bruce and Tim plan.  Bruce realizes their only option is to use the hole he created in Failsafe's armor last issue to inject him with virus-enabled nanobots.  Since Failsafe's programming would reject an attack, Bruce has the bots introduce a new program:  compassion.

Failsafe is rattled, but his definition of compassion entails him disintegrating Bruce.  Of course, the story ends with Bruce somehow lying unconscious in a Gotham City alley, so we'll see what he did to survive next issue.  Meanwhile, Failsafe announces his mission complete and departs for parts unknown.

As action packed as this issue is, Zdarsky doesn't skimp on the emotions.  Bruce reflects on how Tim always relished teamwork more than Dick or Jason, which is how he's able to get close enough to Failsafe to inject the nanobots.  Shortly before Failsafe shoots him, Bruce looks mournfully at Tim and tells him that it'lll be OK.  It's a reach, though, given the last scene in the North Pole is Tim crying next to the hole where Bruce was with Superman lying unconscious behind him.

In the "Zur en Arrh:  Year One" back-up story, Bruce summons his mother to remind him that her son and his father's son isn't a murderer.  As Zur en Arrh stands in the corner watching them, she pulls back his cowl to reveal he has no eyes:  just a face with a smile, an embodiment of "hollow anger."  Emboldened, Bruce takes over the body in time to save the Joker from falling to his death after Zur en Arrh threw him out the window.  The story ends with Bruce realizing that he is the most dangerous man alive and installing the same "failsafes and barriers" that he has in real life into Zur en Arrh.

I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Blade Runner 2039 #1:  Every time you think this series of mini-series is at its bleakest, Johnson proves you wrong.

Unlike the two previous mini-series, Ash isn't the focus at the start of this one.  Instead, we're introduced to Luv, the first Replicant Blade Runner (and obviously a precursor to "Blade Runner 2049's" handsome, handsome K).  The issue begins with Luv taking out a Replicant named Tabitha but not realizing that Tabitha's unnamed friend is also a Replicant.  Back at HQ, we witness the same hostility towards Luv that K experienced, though she seems more frustrated by it than K was.

Elsewhere, Tabitha's friend is trying to buy two eyes from a creepy flesh dealer.  He tells her that she can't afford them until she makes it clear they're for "payment" and the flesh dealer correctly guesses that she's trying to see "the Ferryman."  Knowing the Ferryman will make sure he gets paid, the flesh dealer gives the eyes to Tabitha's friend, telling her that no one returns from the Ferryman, "least, not how they were before they left."  At Hermosa Beach, Tabitha's friend finds the Ferryman who tells her that the eyes aren't for him (he's blind, with a rag around his eyes) but for the "monster at the end of the Labyrinth."

In an alleyway, a cop shakes down a man who's fallen on hard times, as we can tell by the photo that he clutches of him dressed in a suit with his family.  The officer informs him that "you people aren't supposed to go past the shoreline encampment anymore," and the man complains that he used to live there.  The officer is ready to beat him when Luv intervenes.  She forces the officer to beg her to spare him in progressively pathetic ways because she knows that he was patrolling outside his beat (for reasons that aren't made clear).  Before she can get him to grovel further, Niander Wallace, Jr. directly gives her a new job:  track down the Replicant based on Alexander Selwyn's late wife, who's gone missing.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Twenty miles off the California coast, the Ferryman arrives at Catalina Island, and Tabitha's friend panics, noting that it's poisoned.  She departs the boat to find Ash, wearing dark glasses, asking for the eyes.

These series are so effing good.  Johnson somehow makes real the further decline in the quality of life for Angelenos, as it seems like the middle class doesn't even exist anymore.  His ability to use small moments - a few panels, really - to get across this message is amazing.  I'm excited to find myself in Ash's world again.

Know Your Station #1:  I enjoyed this issue, but I wouldn't keep reading it if I didn't know it was only five issues long.

The premise is great:  someone has flayed Alberto Fairmilk, the chief financial officer of First Resort, an Avulsion Corporation space station for the ultrarich escaping Earth's climate chaos.  As the station's security liaison, Elise greets Detective Sergeant Leona Pritchard from Avulsion's "Soilside Carceral Operations."  A few hours later, Elise finds Pritchard murdered.  Troublingly, St. Brigid, the station's AI, informs Elise that she was the only person who accessed the airlock where she found Pritchard's body.  Since Elise is a frequent user of the Blue, it's possible she killed Pritchard without knowing it, though it seems unlikely.

Sounds great, right?  It is.  But something about the presentation was so stiff that I found it hard to connect with the characters.  Hopefully it'lll improve now that Kangas has set the stage.

Undiscovered Country #22:  As usual with this series' arcs, we're speeding up now as we approach the conclusion.

Charlotte figures out Aurora is sending Valentina and she to wars and correctly predicts that they'll respawn in 1812 once the Civil War soldiers kill them.  But they're both fading at this point:  Charlotte is struggling to remember the other wars, and Valentina notes their wounds are no longer healing.  But they figure out what Aurora wants them to know:  every place they've been, America defeats a foreign invader.  They throw themselves into the burning White House and reappear in the Monitorium, a space where the historians monitor Zone History.  They meet a head connected to a robot body who identifies himself as Henri Lavant.  He's lonely, so he proposes keeping them for a while since, after all, he controls time.

Meanwhile, Chang and Janet learn that Ace, Charlotte, and Daniel died during whatever they did to conquer America.  They're running an authoritarian regime with a personality cult dedicated to them.  But Ace exists in this reality and was separated from them when they respawned.  He heads to a library to get more information, but, when he searches for "America," the librarian tells him that she'll call the police if he isn't more careful about his searches.  He uses the computer to look up an elderly Valentina, who tells him that Chang and Janet got started on their road to victory by killing him, Charlotte, and Daniel.

Yup, it's pretty grim.

Six-Month-Old Comics: The October 5 Non-Event, Non-Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!) (Updated with "Blade Runner: Black Lotus" #3)

Batman #128:  This issue is spectacular.  If you didn't believe Zdarksy and Jiménez were going to deliver an epic story after the first three issues, this issue will make a believer of you.

Zdarksy leans fully into the Tower of Babel as Bruce helplessly watches Failsafe use Superman's moves against him (as he would do).  Failsafe lures Superman into a position where he can stab him with a kryptonite shard.  Bruce and Clark are only saved because Black Canary, Green Arrow, Hawkwoman, and Martian Manhunter arrive.  

Realizing he's outnumbered, Failsafe leads them to a Gotham block that Bruce owns.  Showing how deeply the Failsafe program ran, Failsafe deploys a series of countermeasures designed specifically to take out Black Canary, Hawkwoman, and Martian Manhunter.  When Nightwing wonders how Failsafe plans to take out him and Green Arrow, Failsafe responds simply that he'll do it personally, since he can clearly just beat them to death.  Fun!

I can't explain how brilliant this entire sequence is.  Zdarksy shows how Zur-en-Arrh has anticipated the Justice League's every move since Bruce would've anticipated every move.  In so doing, Zdarsky also displays an extensive and intuitive grasp of Bruce's character.  Plus, Jiménez is on fucking fire throughout these scenes.  He not only delivers amazing action sequences but also somehow captures the terror on the heroes' faces as Failsafe surprises them at each turn.

To that point, Zdarksy also uses small moments to convey the situation's seriousness.  For example, Green Arrow dryly remarks, "That's...bad," when he and Tim discover Bruce slumped over Clark.  (Bruce lost consciousness after bandaging Clark's wound.)  I mean, I think we'd all respond with a certain level of terror at seeing Batman and Superman seemingly dead.

At this point, Green Arrow metaphorically throws the keys of the League's ship to Tim and tells him to escape with Bruce and Clark.  A barely conscious Bruce sends Tim to the Fortress of Solitude to heal Superman, since he's the world's hero.  Before he dives off the plane (so that Failsafe doesn't follow him to the Fortress), Bruce tells Tim how proud he is of him.  Again, it's a small moment, but it's also a sure sign that Bruce thinks that he's going to die.

But Bruce (and Zdarsky) isn't done.  Aquaman saves him, and Bruce awakens two weeks later mostly healed.  Aquaman then informs him that Failsafe has taken over Gotham to goad him into returning.  It's a full Brother Eye situation as some Bat-Family members (like Oracle) are captured and other ones (like Cassandra Cain and The Signal) are on the run from the robot minions that Failsafe has patrolling Gotham.  Zdarsky ends the issue with Bruce contemplating his cowl and asking himself what the plan is, in a way doesn't inspire much confidence.

The "Zur-en-Arrh:  Year One" back-up story is just as compelling as we watch Bruce undergoing his "treatments" to create Zur-en-Arrh.  Bruce wants privacy, but Commissioner Gordon gets him on the red phone when Joker starts poisoning people again.  Bruce meets Gordon who comments that Joker is behaving like he used to be.  Bruce observes that he's behaving like he was before Dick became Robin and lightened up everyone.  (I love this comment, a sly almost ret-con of Joker's more cartoonish iterations.)  But Bruce realizes the victims of Joker's poison aren't smiling and wonders if Joker isn't broken like he is, a truly terrifying prospect.

In case I didn't make it clear, this issue is a candidate for Issue of the Year.  I love everything Zdarksy and his creative team are doing here.

Blade Runner:  Black Lotus #3:  This issue  is rough.  The script is basically a never-ending sequence of the characters uttering clichés.  For example, Dixon, Junkett, and Miguel all utter some version of, "I knew there was something different about [Elle] when I first laid eyes on her."  The plot is better, but at times the visuals don't match what the characters are describing.  For example, when Junkett reveals her stash of explosives for Elle to bring to Barnes' facility, Miguel calls her a genius, even though he's just looking at a large metal box.  I'm hoping next issue is stronger than this one.

Minor Threats #2:  Although this issue isn't as great as the first one, it's still a good time.  

Brain Tease puts together the pieces to the puzzle of Stickman's motives and deduces that he's heading to the Trophy Room Nightclub to brag about killing Kid Dusk.  (Brain Tease realized that Stickman would've been able to see the Trophy Room's spotlights from his prison cell.)  Brain Tease is right, though not in the way he thinks.  

In a truly grotesque and shocking scene, Stickman's henchmen roll out Kid Dusk's corpse on a motorized wheelchair.  The Insomniac appears and cries over Kid Dusk's body, leading Playtime to realize that Stickman was chumming the waters to get revenge on the elite criminals who never approved of him.  Playtime follows Stickman's henchmen onto the roof, but she's wounded when one of their bullets ricochets off a pursuing Insomniac's armor.

Again, although it lacks of some of the first issue's charms, it compensates by showing the very real stakes at play here.  The Insomniac's rampage through the Trophy Room makes you realize the Continuum may be too late to stop him from going too far.  It also makes you wonder if Playtime is going to realize how far over her head she is here.

Undiscovered Country #21:  Now we're getting somewhere.

The Resistance duo bring Ace, Chang, and Janet to a bunker under the completely obliterated Forbidden City, where they're surprised to learn that Pavel is leading the Resistance.  Pavel explains that he survived and took over Destiny and then walks the trio through this sub-zone's status quo.  

We learn that America opened its doors 13 days after the team entered it and the team emerged with a cure for Sky.  Despite the world seemingly on its way to reconciliation, Chang and Janet saw something in America that convinces the AEA and PAPZ to destroy America.  Instead, America makes short work of the Alliance in a three-week war, establishing Pax Americana.

Beyond the obvious question of what Chang and Janet saw, I'm also curious how exactly Chang and Janet didn't know that America would win.  After all, Pavel describes America unleashing all the horrors that we've already seen on the world.  How did Chang and Janet not think it was going to do that?

Snyder and Soule don't dwell on that question, as it's clear we're not supposed to be thinking too hard about these hypothetical outcomes.  When President Graves somehow invades the bunker under the Forbidden City, his men mow down everyone.  Just like Charlotte and Valentina, Chang and Janet awaken to a new reality, one where they and Pavel rule the world.

Meanwhile, Charlotte and Valentina aren't doing so well.  They make their way to Sam in Pearl Harbor while discussing how they still feel their wounds from their previous deaths and feel weaker.  Sam confirms that they only have so many lives left, and an irate Valentina pins him to the ship where he's a captain so that he can die with them.  Instead of moving to the future, they discover themselves in the middle of the Civil War.

This arc has definitely lit a fire under this series in a positive way, but I'll also admit that some of these mysteries are getting old.  In a way, nothing here really helps us understand more about Aurora and the series' core mysteries, as we're spending our time just sussing out Zone History's mysteries.  I'm sure they'll be connected, but it's probably about time to get there.