Thursday, June 13, 2024

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The September 13 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Alternates #1:  This issue is OK.  Given the marvel that was "Minor Threats," I get it's unreasonable to expect this series to reach the same heights.  But I'll be honest that I don't really find myself caring as much about the characters here as I did the "Minor Threats" ones.  

They're certainly sympathetic characters, though.  The Continuum apparently sent the six Alternates through a portal into "the Ledge," some sort of alternate dimension, in order to close it behind them.  They then spent time in this other dimension where their powers behaved in different ways.  For example, our protagonist, Mary Marie, found that her shape-shifting powers (which she gained when a Transylvanian midwife used Van Helsing's dagger to do an emergency C-section on her mother) meant the lords of darkness and moonlight revered her as a queen.  Understandably, she misses the connection to these creatures she experienced.  Crab Louie does as well, as he was the "Kin Crustacea" in the Ledge, connected to "all arthropods by an 'etheric neural web.'"

We're introduced to the team as they sit in group therapy and try to pull their lives together in the "real" world.  Mary Marie quits the sessions, saying she's succeeded in getting her life on track, though we know she's lying.  But it doesn't matter as the Silencer (the female Superman on the Continuum) visits Mary Marie and Tripper (the Alternates' leader) to warn them the Continuum has detected traces of the Ledge in Twilight City.  Mary Marie is furious when the Silencer implies the Alternates somehow brought the Ledge with them, even though she yearns to return there.  When the Divider (one of the Alternates) contacts her, she and Tripper go to his apartment and find him dead.  Sure enough, they also find a portion of the Ledge in a vial.

It's a solid premise that should grab me, but it doesn't, at least not yet.  I'll hang in there for the next few issues, though, since I have hope for this crew.

Coda #1:  Holy shit, this issue is *dense.*  In fact, it's *so* dense that I'm honestly considering not getting the second issue because I'm not sure I can have another "The Last God" in my life.

The issue's framing structure involves the unnamed protagonist (later dubbed "Hum") writing to his wife, Serka.  This letter reveals quickly that this world suffered an apocalypse called the Quench.  A former bard, Hum struggles to reconcile the magical world he knew before the Quench with the grim reality of the present day.  His musings come as he scrapes goo off the inside of a dragon skeleton.  The thing is, the skeleton is still alive:  all the dragons lost their magic in the Quench, but they're immortal so they remain tethered to their skeletons.  (Oof.)  The dragon hilariously exhorts Hum to kill the rats scurrying inside him lest he immolate him, but Hum knows it's an empty (heh) threat.

After extracting something from the dragon, Hum moves on his way.  But a bandit stops him and reveals that he hides shiny things in the skeleton to attract marks.  But he's surprised when Hum's"pentacorn" (i.e., a demonic unicorn) bites him in two.  The dragon begs Hum to give him the powerful ring he senses Hum has on his person, but Hum merely mounts his pentacorn and leaves.  Another group of bandits chases Hum and his pentacorn, injecting "akker" into their horses to turn them into monsters (like the pentacorn).  One bandit speeds toward Hum only for him to knock the man off his horse and the pentacorn to bite off the horse's head.

Hum arrives at Ridgetown, which is a fortified city with an enormous cannon atop a tower looming over it.  Hum gives us more back story as he arrives in town, expositing that the "latest in a long line of unpronounceable dark lords" finally won, raining down fire from the sky and killing the "ylves."  Since that point, magic hasn't existed.  Hum submits to the guards searching him at the gate but smuggles in his ring in his fake leg.

At a tavern, a young urchin sees Hum writing and asks why he's doing so.  She informs him that someone took his pentacorn and asks him for a drop of "green" (i.e., the akker) to tell him where it is.  She also demands to know why he's writing his wife, and he responds that the Urken took her.  The girl feels badly for him as a result and tells him that no one took his pentacorn, the guards just moved him for the parade.  The girl goes with Hum to watch said parade, which entails beasts pulling three large cannonballs  The girl exposits that the cannonballs are for the "doomlauncher," and the mayor, Satlark, parades them through the streets when it's time to take them to the "distillery" to get charged.  Hum notices a guy running toward the cannonballs and throws the girl to the ground before the guy and several other people attack the cannonballs, which explode.  The guards are frantic, but Hum manages to trip a surviving assailant by throwing his fake leg at him.  The assailant uses a nearby knife to kill himself before the guards can interrogate him.

In an audience with Satlark, Hum turns over a badge the bandit from earlier was using to shake down his marks, revealing it's a Ridgetown badge.  The mayor notices Hum's ring, evaluating it at a "vial or two" and guessing he hid it in his leg.  She exposits that she was a grandee of "let us say - a merchant's guild" (sus).  When Hum declines to give his name, just uttering his usual, "Hm," Satlark calls him "Hum."  

Satlark informs Hum that she wants him to become one of her Paladins of Peaceguard (who wear the badge he found).  Hum laughs, saying champions, dignity, guilds, and paladins were ridiculous before the Quench but even more so now.  Satlark notes that Hum saved a child, despite his seeming aversion to hope.  He says that he finds the underdogs most deserve the bone, and Satlark informs him Ridgetown is the underdog.  He dismisses this comment, though she brings him to the top of the tower to show him their enemy.  She has Hum look through a telescope, and Bergara and Doig do a great job here as you see a looming figure whose head and torso extend above the clouds.  Satlark confirms it's Thudergog, the last Giant.  He apparently responds to orders from a bandit clan, and the Doomlauncher is the only defense against them.  She tells Hum that, unexpectedly, they have more magic than iron, so while they forge more iron they need help keeping Ridgetown safe.  

Later, a paladin escorts Hum on a quest, explaining that he needs to complete it to become a Paladin.  He's surprised Satlark told Hum about the Trove, "a mighty horde of the sorcerous distillate - aqua anima (i.e., akker)."  But only a Paladin can access the vault where it's stored.  (Aha.). The Paladin reveals the quest (a word Hum doesn't let him use) is to follow a group of bandits comprised of the aforementioned Urken, a giant-like race who are "survivors of the Dark Lord's foulest armies."  The Paladin takes some akker, but the Urken defeats him easily.  Hum searches the Paladin's body for akker, saying that he'll use it to distract the Urken and kill him.  The Paladin asks how he knows so much about the Urken and, pausing, Hum reveals that a "savage clan" has his wife.  The Paladin stays with the pentacorn as Hum approaches the Urken.  He speaks the Urken's language, and it's clear that he isn't really an enemy of the Urken, which makes it curious why they're holding his wife.  Hum recognizes the Urken's brand means that he isn't a bandit but part of a caravan and asks him to bring him to his leader, who he knows.

At the camp, we're introduced to said leader, Murkrone (a.k.a. "Murk"), a mermaid-like creature who swims in wine.  Murk once told Hum that she could create something to help him save his wife, and Hum reveals his collections to her (including the scab off the dragon that we saw him collect earlier as well as the Paladin's sword and akker).  Murk confirms that he still doesn't have enough akker to do what he wants.  But we also learn why she's good at business:  she guesses that Hum wants to know how much akker he has to steal from Ridgetown to make the item.

Hum departs with a box of iron after shopping Murk's shop (at mate's rates) and tells the Paladin that he killed the Urken and scared the rest into giving him the iron as a tithe.  Ridgetown greets Hum as a hero and initiates him into the Paladins.  That night, he spikes the Paladins' drinks so he can make his way into the Trove, where he discovers the source of the akker:  the last surviving elf, chained to a wall, whose flesh they take to distill akker.  Dun-dun-DUN!

All in all, it's a solid issue, but, man, it is *not* easy to follow.  I had to read it three or four times just to pull together this summary.  I guess I'll give the second issue another go, but, if each issue is this complicated, I'm probably done.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #38:  In theory, this issue is about Vader holding off the Scourge-controlled droids long enough for his own droid squad to reestablish the Executor's fail-safe mechanism, returning control of the ship to Admiral Piett.  But it's really about the Empire's brutality.  

Mas Amedda sends several Star Destroyers to destroy the Executor, but Admiral Corleque sends a rescue crew instead, revealing that Piett once saved his life during the Battle of Comantira.  Piett sends men to the hull to use the old flag code to warn Corleque's men to beware the droids, but they don't listen and the rescue squad includes droids who the Scourge absorbs once they arrive on the Executor.  The Scourge then send droids to Coleque's ship, taking it over quickly.  Piett gives Corleque time to escape, but he's eventually forced to destroy the ship with all onboard.  It's poignant in that you know Piett isn't just a monster; he really tried to save Corleque but also understood the threat was too great in allowing the Scourge more time.

Meanwhile, Vader flees to Mustafar, not realizing the Scourge now controls Zed, who introducing it to the "Techno Union droid factory of Mustafar."  Ruh-roh.

Undiscovered Country #25:  Snyder and Soule make it pretty clear that we're coming to the end.

First things first, the team finds itself in Zone Bounty, where giant-sized humans  produce 80 percent of America's crops.  They believe Aurora sent the team to Zone Bounty to help with the pestilence afflicting the crops.  They apparently communicate directly with Aurora via a train in which they send the crops once a year.  The train is leaving in two days, giving the team the opportunity to speak directly with Aurora.

Second, though, Chang's communication with the PAPZ leader reveals that the team has only been in America for three days and *somehow* their presence resulted in the AEA and PAPZ getting the cure for Sky, saving the world.  Before Chang can get more information, enormous locusts attack him and interrupt his call.  The now-robotic Buzz and the giants save Chang and the rest of the team, though Chang doubles back later to get his phone.  Lottie is onto him, as she revealed earlier in the issue.  She knocks Chang unconscious and grabs the phone, which is when the leader confirms the oustide world somehow has the cure for Sky.

It seems we're just left with two questions:  how and why?  Lottie notes to Chang in their first conversation that every zone has taught them not to invade America, almost like Aurora is asking for help in defending America from an invasion.  Given what we saw of the future in Zone History, it seems possible AEA and PAPZ have already invaded, which is how they secured Sky.  We'll see, I guess.

Meanwhile, Snyder and Soule use Valentina and Ace reconnecting as a chance to discuss Aurora's other message, namely the fact that everything changes and you can only make the best decision in the moment you occupy.  Snyder and Soule note they started the series in 2019, which seems a long time ago.  You can tell the pandemic is really influencing the series' philosophy, a good reminder to engage more directly with life than we usually do as humans.

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