Avengers (2018) #33-#38 (TPB): Age of Khonshu

I read this TPB because the "Age of Khonshu" is frequently discussed in "Moon Knight."  But, all reading this story did was make me feel pretty good about my decision to drop this title.  Jesus, these issues are awful.  I don't know how someone as good as Jason Aaron is could tell a story as boring and incoherent as this one.  If he was trying to replicate Kurt Busiek's amazing "Kang Dynasty," he missed the mark by a lot.

The only moment where I thought that this story made sense was when Black Panther battled Moon Knight in issue #36.  T'Challa realizes that Khonshu has made Marc believe that he (T'Challa) is Mephisto, and I thought Aaron was going to reveal that Khonshu was deluding Marc into amassing power so that he could take over Earth (and not protect it from Mephisto, as claimed).  But, no, it turns out Khonshu really was protecting Earth from Mephisto, as Tony acknowledges in issue #38 after examining the corpses of the various alternate Mephistos who came to assassinate Khonshu.  (Given they're corpses, it's clear that Khonshu didn't fall so easily.)

As such, the ending of this story makes no sense.  Why did a Phoenix-imbued Moon Knight stop Khonshu?  (I don't think that we're ever shown how Marc acquires the Phoenix powers, but I'm not going to re-read this terrible story just to get the answer.)  Why did the Avengers have the Asgardians imprison him if he was right?  I get that they might have initially thought that he was crazy before Tony examined the bodies, but Tony pretty clearly acknowledges that Khonshu was right about Mephisto.  Why not fee him?

Anyway, it's a fucking mess.  I don't even remotely understand why Marc is exiled from the Avengers in "Moon Knight," when he should be their fucking hero for bringing the pan-dimensional Mephisto threat to their attention.  After all, T'Challa offers him membership, which he declines.  I could say more, but I'm going to try to forget this story ever happened.

Also Read:  Avengers #31-#32

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The July 10 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #25:  This issue is quite good, mostly because Spencer seems to have a better read on Mary Jane than he does any other character appearing in this series.  It isn't that the scenes with Spider-Man trying to save Curt Connors from himself were bad; it's just that we've been down that road so many times.  But, Mary Jane confronting her past and deciding to get back to acting was new.  Spencer has Mary Jane allude to how ridiculous her career trajectory has been over the last few years.  Her decision to return to acting feels organic, even if Peter's decision to return to graduate school felt obligatory.  As far as I can tell, Spencer has essentially put us somewhere around "Amazing Spider-Man" #360.  If I recall correctly, the "mystery" of Peter's parents starts the following issue, and it's the revelation that his parents were just clones that pushes him over the edge, leading to his estrangement from Mary Jane.  To me, it was the heyday of Spider-Man, full of six-part storylines like "Round Robin:  The Sidekick's Revenge" or "The Return of the Sinister Six."  As excited as I am for us to be back to this era, I'll also admit that it's weird that we're functionally just ignoring 30 years of continuity.  Spencer is at least trying to make it feel like an organic progression; in that way, he's showing Joe Quesada how unnecessary the deal with Mephisto was.  But, you have to wonder how far Spencer is going to go.  Beyond alluding to Mary Jane's time as CEO of Stark Industries, are we going to get to the point where we really just ignore the last 30 years?  With Peter starting graduate school again, are we eventually not even going to mention the plagiarism, Parker Industries, or even Horizon Labs?  Is it just going to be 1992 all over again?  As much as I'm not necessarily opposed to it, it seems a little extreme.

Avengers #21:  This issue is fun, but not as fun as Aaron thinks it is.  As much as I love Aaron, this series has been so schizophrenic that I think it's time that I focus my energies elsewhere.

Batman #74:  The problem with intensely disliking a run is that it starts to get hard not to dislike it.  You go into each issue ready to be mad, and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I've long felt like I'm punishing myself reading this series.  In fact, I've often wondered if King is mocking us with his repeated use of tropes, like Bill Watterson's discarded plan to make Calvin wordlessly get bigger and bigger for several weeks until readers finally had enough.

But, this arc had given me some hope.  Although it makes no sense on the face of it, removing Bruce and Thomas from Gotham also removed us from some of the zanier aspects of the story that King has been telling.  If you could get past the ridiculousness of them dragging Martha Wayne's body through the desert, it was a pretty standard Lazarus Pit story.  But, that was a good thing, in my book.  It meant that we could strip away all the aforementioned tropes -- the literary allusions that never seemed to match the actual story, the wordless panels that left you confused instead of intrigued, the surprise reveals that had no basis in the actual story that King was telling -- and just focus on Bruce and Thomas.  I mean, that's a story.  Bruce gets to spend time with his father.  It's almost literally a story 80 years in the making.

I took a short-story class once where the instructor encouraged us to "kill our pretties," meaning the sentences that we thought were beautifully constructed but that didn't really fit the story.  King just can't do that here.  Bruce and Thomas complete their journey to the pit, where Bruce reveals that he buried his mother's body in the desert so Thomas couldn't exchange her life for the life of the al Ghul minion that Thomas captured earlier in the issue.  Unlike other issues, King at least seems to be going in an interesting direction here.  After all, the more Thomas talks about resurrecting Martha, the crazier he seems.  After so many issues where Bruce has been portrayed as the insane one, King flips the camera somewhat, revealing Bruce as biding his time as he waits for an increasingly unhinged Thomas to make a mistake.  This story is one I'd like to see King develop.

But, as usual, King instead spends most of his time quoting literature, burning up valuable space that he could've actually spent on plot development.  To make matters worse, he goes self-referential, as he's re-quoting the fairy tale that he invented for Bruce and the KGBeast.  King could've spent the time revealing how Thomas made it into our world or even how Bruce and Martha were killed in his world.  King even has Thomas hint her death wasn't "easy," but refuses to elaborate.  Instead, he repeats the details of the fairy tale twice in this issue and throws them into the pit.  Even when I try to give him the benefit of the doubt, I feel like a fool in the end.

Thor #15:  Only Jason Aaron could imagine such an amazing torture for Malekith.  I was surprised in Karnilla that she had become so evil as to force Malekith to watch his war dogs devour his innocent self -- the boy corpse gatherer -- each day.  But, I needn't be surprised, because Aaron is nothing if not dedicated to characterization.  Instead, she damns Malekith to watch a world where his innocent self frolics all day surrounded by the war dogs...who've reverted to puppies.  It's just so perfect, Malekith forced to consider a world where he never found his raison d'être:  war.  Chilling.

Also Read:  Detective Comics #1,007; Black Cat #2; Star Wars #68; War of the Realms Omega #1

Not-Even-Remotely-New Comics: The April 17 "War of the Realms" Marvel Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

I'm back.  Yes, I'm aware that this event happened almost exactly a year ago.  I also became a parent almost exactly a year ago, explaining why I'm a little...late in posting.  But, I figured why not get back on the horse where it threw me, right?

(Marvel didn't publish these issues in the same order as the reading checklist in the back of "War of the Realms" #1 shows them.  I'm presenting them here in the recommended order, even though they're not all strictly "April 17" issues.)

War of the Realms #2:  I don't have much to say here because Aaron is an expert at delivering this sort of pitched battle; I don't think anyone else does it remotely as well.  Only the opening issue of "Age of Ultron" comes close in my mind to using so many characters so effectively to convey the increasing sense of desperation and then doom that falls over the heroes as they struggle against Malekith's horde.  Aaron's characterization is stellar, from small moments (like Wolverine's "Good catching up" quip to the Punisher after Frank simply states that he's "reloaded") to larger ones (like Jane's persistent need to find Malekith to hand him his head).  No one acts against character just to advance the plot, as we often see in these events.  When Dr. Strange inadvertently evacuates everyone to Avengers Mountain, you feel the heroes' overwhelming sense of confusion, as they want to return to battle but also realize that they can't win in a head-on conflict.  (Also, how often does someone make a mistake in these events?  That alone was a breath of fresh air.)  Aaron then does a great job setting the stage for the four different quests the Avengers and their allies begin:  rescuing Thor from Jotunheim, destroying the Black Bifrost in Svartalfheim, taking out Roxxon so T'Challa can essentially reboot the internet, and defending Earth.  Aaron is pulling in every thread of his years-long run on the various Thor titles, and it's a wonderful tapestry to behold.  By the time Malekith murders Valkyrie, you begin to believe the scroll, that the time of gods and Valhalla has ended.  I am very excited about this event.

Thor #12:  Aaron cleverly uses "A Christmas Carol" as inspiration here, forcing Loki to confront his various selves -- past, present, and future -- as he dissolves in Laufey's stomach.  Loki is forced to confront his long (and persistent) history of evil, from allowing Eldred, his mentor in magic, to starve to death in the prison where Loki first met him to facing Kid Loki's accusation that maybe poisoning his mother wasn't the best way to prove that he wasn't evil.  In the latter case, Loki insists that he was doing it to save her, but he has a much harder time justifying his evolution into Loki the Necrogod.  Perhaps mostly notably, for fans of Loki's "Young Avengers" and "Loki:  Agent of Asgard" arcs, I think Aaron finally acknowledges Loki's attempt to become the God of Stories here.  I've been waiting a long time for that moment, and Aaron doesn't disappoint.  In the past, Aaron has seemed to ignore Loki's evolution in those series, but here he more or less confirms that people continue to misunderstand Loki.  But, importantly, Aaron also has Loki embrace the "truth" underlying that misunderstanding, his desire not to be a villain.  To that end, he seems to accept his death in Laufey's stomach in order to prevent his evolution into the Necrogod.  I don't think that it'll stick, to be honest.  But, again, it's nice to see Aaron not using Loki as simply a useful tool of evil, instead forcing Loki to confront the fact that maybe all his scheming with Malekith didn't work out exactly the way that he hoped.

Avengers #18:  This issue is...weird.  We learn Agent Coulson has made some sort of deal with Mephisto not only to return to life but also to exert control over the Squadron Supreme.  He controls them absolutely, convincing them that they've been guarding the United States for years.  I'm not sure if Coulson's heel turn has been covered in a S.H.I.E.L.D. series, but I'll say that it's jarring to see him this way.  Aaron does a good job tying the team's debut to the War of the Realms, as they help fend off a Frost Giant attack on Washington, DC.  In that way, it's a solid tie-in issue, using the event to advance an ongoing plot line (even if it's one at which Aaron has only hinted previously).  But, I have to admit that it feels like a little too much, a development that the already ambitious "War of the Realms" story could've managed not to include.

Also Read:  War of the Realms:  Journey into Mystery #1; War of the Realms:  War Scrolls #1

Not-Very-New Comics: The March 20 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Avengers #17:  This issue is OK, though it felt rushed, to be honest.  Aaron is trying to fit in a lot of plot here, so he resorts to having important sequences, like the Legion of the Unliving taking on the Winter Guard right before the Avengers arrive, occur off-panel.  The battle itself between the Avengers and the Legion is fine, though Aaron again hurries the battle between Blade and Colonel, with Blade defeating him too easily.  He also rushes to the conclusion that Dracula planned the entire "civil war."  The Colonel is revealed to be his son, Xarus, and Dracula's goal all along was to get the Russians to imprison him in the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, apparently because the radiation somehow heals him.  (I'd love to see the physics of that.)  But, this revelation doesn't explain why Dracula was willing to sacrifice all his subjects in Transylvania just to move his kingdom to Chernobyl.  Couldn't he have just...snuck into the Exclusion Zone?  Did he have to be invited to an entire geographic space?  It isn't like Chernobyl is a house.  Overall, it was still a strong arc, but I feel like an extra issue would've made it all the better.

Avengers:  No Road Home #6:  Although I know the authors are stoked about getting to use Conan and I'm loving Aaron's run on "Conan the Barbarian" itself, this issue was a dud to me.  Even with the expanded length, they cover too much ground, literally and narratively.  Conan and Wanda seem to cover the entire Thurian continent in search of the thieves who stole the shard.  Some of the individual moments are great, but the authors move off them too quickly to advance to the next location.  The arrival at Shadizar is a great moment, but it would've been even more impactful if I still hadn't been trying to figure out where they had been before they got there.  Moreover, this specific flaw exacerbates the problem that I have with the regular series, where Aaron (and now the trio here) are telling stories across Conan's lifespan.  Here, he loves Bêlit, but we haven't even met her in the regular series yet.  I get that Conan fans will recognize all these various timeframes and characters, but it's a challenge for a newbie like me.  As such, it feels like too much of the authors playing with a toy, particularly given the fact that Conan's presence here is a stretch from the start.  I initially thought that they were going to connect Nyx with the Night-God whose worshipers Conan and Wanda encounter on the way to Shadizar.  How cool would it have been if they had gone to all this trouble to shield Wanda's eyes so Nyx wouldn't know that they found the shard, only for the "Night-God's" worshipers to successfully open a portal to her?  These missed opportunities are what make me feel like the authors are rushing through this mini-series just like Aaron is rushing through "Avengers."  

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #4-#5:  For the fact that these issues involve Peter learning Aunt May has cancer, they're not as devastating as you'd expect them to be.  But, it isn't necessarily a bad thing, to be honest.

In issue #4, Tayor wraps up the Underworld storyline in a fantastic way.  The villain arrives demanding Spider-Man and the Rumor turn over his daughter and grandchildren, and they refuse.  Fighting ensues.  But, before we get there, Juann Cabal provides one of the greatest panels I've ever seen, akin to the famous Hawkeye mask covering Hawkeye's hawkeye.  As Peter tells Johnny the story of saving Leilani from her father from the top of an alternate Empire State Building, Cabal given us a Super Mario Bros. background to underline the point.  It is...mind-blowing.  Moreover, during the aforementioned above-ground fight, he delivers an amazingly (heh) kinetic panel showing Peter dodging the thugs' bullets while also saving a cat and setting up the fight's denouement when Peter manages to web every gun and pull them towards him.  The emotional denouement comes when a crowd gathers around Spidey to stand with him, eventually forcing the Kingpin -- who arrived on the scene to force Spider-Man and the Rumor to surrender Leilani and the kids -- to break his deal with the villain.  This entire arc has been great from start to finish, focusing on Peter's New York as promised.

Even after Aunt May arrives in Peter's apartment in issue #5 to tell him she has cancer, Taylor keeps up said focus, when Peter catches one of the homeless kids from the neighborhood stealing a car.  When it turns out he's running from his mother's abusive boyfriend, Spidey -- feeling a little guilty that he got distracted and broke the kid's wrist -- actually helps him steal said car to prevent from getting arrested.  (I guess Peter learned how to drive at some point...)  Peter winds up webbing the car above an alley to allow them to escape the ensuing police, a sequence you kind of have to see to appreciate.  Peter brings the kid to see Dr. Strange, who (somewhat reluctantly) sets the arm.  Peter confesses he broke the wrist because he's distracted by May's illness, and Dr. Strange jokingly refers to making a deal with an interdimensional demon to help her, though suggests that it could bring an eternity of torment.  (Ha!)  Peter wisely passes, and Dr. Strange tells him that some things are beyond magic and medicine.  After originally telling Aunt May he has "a lot going on right now" when she asked if he'd go to chemo with her, he's there when she arrives, with the nurse touchingly referring to him as her "son."  I always love the moments when May and Peter acknowledge their mother-son relationship directly, and this one is no different.  Did I roll my eyes at Peter's initial response of saying that he was too busy to be at her appointment?  Yes, because Peter probably wouldn't have responded that way.  But, Taylor is killing it so much in this series, I can look past it.  Also, Cinar and Woodard's art is so impressive here (including a beautiful Peter) that they convey emotions that Taylor's script alone doesn't necessarily convey.  

In other words, just like "Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man," this series is increasingly my go-to Spider-Man series, no matter how much I like what Nick Spencer is doing in the main title.

Nightwing #58:  This issue is a little heavy handed with the narrative, from Hutch's extended meditation on why he's not "cut out for this vigilante crap" to Joker's Daughter's eyeroll-inducing diatribe about the elites to Bab's earnestness in telling "Ric" that Dick would be proud of him.  But, Lobdell and Kaplan still do a solid job of showing how Ric's membership in the Nightwings happens organically, to the point where this new status quo starts feeling more and more familiar.  But, it's really Moore and Bonvillain who shine here; Hutch is so beautifully rendered in the first few panels that he looks almost lifelike.

Uncanny X-Men #14:  Rosenberg continues doing a solid job here.  By the end of the issue, you get the sense that Scott is going to find himself with his hands full of mutants, and Rosenberg implies then it'll really start to get interesting.  After all, he added Logan in issue #11, Havok, Magik, and Wolfsbane in issue #12, Dark Beast and Multiple Man in issue #13, and now Chamber in this issue.  (I don't really count Karma and Mirage from issue #12 since they've unfortunately been non-entities.)  In other words, this issue really gets Scott's little war going.  So far, he's really just struck against O.N.E. for holding Havok, Multiple Man, and the New Mutants and then Dark Beast.  In this issue, we have the team chase down Reaper (only to learn he's depowered and not working with the MLF) and help the remaining Morlocks relocate to Chernaya after eliminating the fascist opposition forces left after X-Force's sojourn there.  (I think they're the same place?  If not, Marvel is really pushing the limits of credulity to make two made-up Eastern European countries into mutant havens with fascist uprisings.)  Why do they need to relocate the "remaining" Morlocks, you ask?  Because the Marauders killed the rest of them...again.  (I'm imaging the Marauders are moving up Scott's hit list.)  Also, the move to Chernaya killed a few too birds with one stone, as Scott and Logan got Valerie Cooper to agree to do them favors if they do her favors (like eliminating said fascist opposition forces).  In other words, Scott's got a lot of irons in the fire.  But, the team takes a well advised moment to celebrate the "small victories" only to have Captain America crash the party.  Again, Rosenberg is doing a great job of making each issue complicate Scott's life even further, but I'm also glad he's giving the team some time to bond as well.  As Jono himself implies, no one on this team has enjoyed a good run over the last few years.  Most of them really need these wins, even if it's clear whatever limited roll that they're enjoying now is going to come to an end.

West Coast Avengers #9:  This issue is great.  It's like Thompson hit full speed as we got to the top of the mountain and she's just letting us enjoy the free fall as we make our way down the other side.  Ramone and Johnny are children of a Dora Milaje?  Ramone's powers allow her to fuse permanently with vibranium?  Johnny and Marvel Boy might forget Katie and get together themselves?  Katie's mom is a vampire?  Each new development builds off previous developments, so it doesn't all sounds as random as it does here.  Plus, we get the usual adorable crazy moments, like discovering Jeff the Shark loves Quentin and likes to sit in his lap.  (The panel where Jeff is actually sitting in Quentin's lap should win Gang Hyuk Lim some sort of award.  That, and the panel where Gwenpool, Quentin, and Ramone all put their hands to their chest in faux outrage, like they're grabbing their Southern ladies grabbing their pearls, after Kate's mom reveals that they're dealing with vampires, not Skrulls.)  I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  as Quentin's t-shirt says, West Coast, Best Coast!

The Wild Storm #21:  As we approach the end, each issue seems much more focused now.  Jenny Sparks' trip through Skywatch's computer system allowed her to discover the existence of Midnighter and Apollo.  Wisely, she realizes their defense of the village meant not only that they were preventing Skywatch from making more people like them and the Mayor but also that they were probably good recruits for the still-forming Authority.  Meanwhile, Miles orders Ivana to start creating a narrative that an "extranational terrorist network" is ramping up its activities in nuclear-armed countries, and it leads her to call someone to report that they "may have a situation."  Bendix seems to believe IO shot down some Skywatch ships, but I can't tell if he's confusing Midnighter and Apollo's attack with IO or if he's referring to that fight at Skywatch's ground base a few issues ago.  Bendix is ready to burn down the world, but Lauren warns him that he should focus on IO specifically to prevent them from having "supply issues."  To help the Doctor recognize Skywatch ships when they enter orbit, Angie provides her with a device that allows them to communicate telepathically, projecting to her images of a Skywatch ship.  (Interestingly, Angie is super aggro all issue, and it takes the Doctor confronting her to make her admit the events of the last few weeks are weighing on her.)  Elsewhere, Jackie finds some sort of device in the IO equipment room, and the guy that Miles hired to kill her is on her tail.  Later, Jenny confirms that the bot attack IO launched on Skywatch (though I think it was really the Wild C.A.T.s) allowed them to see the Skywatch space station.  Jenny then observes that everything that's happened since Cray tried to kill Marlowe has meant that "the most powerful people in the world are terrified of everything and everyone," putting the world on the brink of annihilation.  I'm not sure if Ellis is describing their world or our world, but there we are.

(NB:  I tagged this post "Nova" because Richard appears in "Guardians of the Galaxy" #3, but I didn't review it.  It's a fine issue; it just didn't seem to merit much discussion at this phase of the story.)

Also Read:  Batman #67; Dungeons & Dragons:  A Darkened Wish #1; Guardians of the Galaxy #3; Marvel's Spider-Man:  City at War #1; Star Wars #63; Thor #11

Not-Very-New Comics: The March 6 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #16.HU:  Of all the crimes that Dan Slott committed while writing "Amazing Spider-Man," turning Felicia Hardy into a villain was second on my list (after the Octo-Spider bullshit).  As Nick Spencer carefully undoes Slott's legacy, I was thrilled when Peter revealed his identity to Felicia.  He righted a great wrong by putting them back on good footing.  Spencer even goes further here, treating Felicia, of all things, as a person with feelings.  First, we now know that Felicia's heel turn was at least partly inspired by the sudden loss of her memories of Peter, a pretty unveiled swipe at how casually Marvel erased everyone's memories of Peter's secret identity.  Then, Spencer explores what it's like for someone to experience a decade of those memories suddenly rushing back at them.  Along the way, Spencer treats us to the greatest hits of Felicia and Peter's relationship, from Peter's wide-eyed amazement at how forward Felicia is to Felicia's ongoing surprise at how charming she finds Peter.  The story culminates in Peter giving her the Spider-Tracer that we saw last issue, presenting it in a jewelry box that she understandably mistakes for something else.  The fact that Felicia mistook it for an engagement ring tells us just how deeply she loved Peter, and it makes me mad all over again at how callously Slott treated that.  But, it also means that I couldn't be happier with how Spencer is handling her.  I highly recommend this issue for any Felicia fan.

Avengers #16:  This issue is another solid installment of Aaron's vampire civil-war arc.  First, the Shadow Colonel's motivations actually make sense.  The first phase of the war involved purging vampiredom of the bloated old guard.  The second phase is turning some of Russian's worst criminals into vampires to strengthen the ranks.  To accomplish this second task, the Colonel sends the Rat Bombers' rats into the prison where the Winter Guard is holding Dracula, and their blood bombs usher in the transformations.  Meanwhile, Red Widow shows her brutality by slaughtering Dracula's consorts into front of him, forcing him to give up his secrets.  (For his part, Dracula thought he'd extract his own dacha from her for his secrets.  I guess not.)  Meanwhile, Blade somehow uses his vampiric powers to suck the poison from Robbie, allowing him to regain control of himself.  He's incredibly shaken, crying on Cap's shoulder that he didn't meant to hurt them.  He doesn't tell them he's also shaken because he ran across Johnny Blaze in Hell.  Figuring he's an even worse monster than Blaze, Robbie isn't exactly optimistic about his future.  Carol then voices what I'm sure most everyone is thinking as she wonders why they're involved into this civil war in the first place.  Blade not incorrectly reminds her that they'll all come after the Avengers sooner or later, but you have to wonder if that isn't a bet worth taking, given the damage this fight has already done.

Batman #66:  In reading this issue, I think Tom King doesn't understand Batman or Bruce at all, but he understands Selina perfectly.  It's why the best issues of his run on "Batman" have involved her.  Here, her conversation with the Question as he seeks the answer (heh) to why she left Bruce at the altar is the only thing selling me on "Knightmares."  Bruce is unprepared for this assault, and he sends the Question to interview Selina.  Selina insists that she left Bruce to make him stronger, but the Question rightfully points out her plan has left him captured, so maybe her plan isn't working.  She then admits she lied.  I think the real question is if I still care at this point.  (Spoiler alert:  I don't.)

Die #4:  Gillen gives the party a rest as they arrive in Glass Town, the first town established in Die.  An impenetrable, d20-shaped translucent barrier exists around it, and it sits on the edge of Eternal Prussia and Little England.  The townspeople throw open the doors to the party, declaring them the Paragons that prophecy says will save them from the "Devil Boy."  Realizing the townspeople are on their side, the party members settle into a night of drinking.

Before she can join them, Isabella makes peace with one of her gods, the Mourner, so she can heal her.  As part of the deal, Isabelle is forced to read to the Mourner's followers from the diaries that she kept during their first time in Die, along the way discovering that they've become holy texts.  (Mistress Woe, one of her other gods, apparently told Isabelle that she'll "pay [her] back in [Isabelle's] own time."  Ruh-roh.)  

Later, Chuck and Isabelle both press Ash to talk about why he chose to become a woman in Die, something for which Isabelle notes they didn't have the words to discuss when they were there the first time.  Angela intervenes on Ash's behalf, but starts to bawl.  Like Matthew, she worries about what her absence means to her children.  She laments her terrible choice in partners, and here we learn that Chuck was her first boyfriend.  But, she later confesses that her tears are about the spell that she's dying to cast, because it means she'll need to find Fair gold every day lest "he" dies.  Conveniently, the dwarven drinking companion they've accumulated just happens to have Fair.  As the issue's cover shows, Angela uses it to cast the aforementioned spell and summons her dog, Case.  Her joy is clear, and Gillen does a good job of showing just how much Angela has to lose -- her arm, her dog -- in transiting to the real world again.  Sure, she'll see her children again, but Case's arrival on the scene in Die ups the stakes.

Later, the town's leader (or, possibly, chief diviner) arrives, informing the party the road to Sol's fortress is blocked.  To enter it, they'll have to get three keys, found in the depths of three dungeons guarded by 12 "perils."  The party members are enraged, as it's clear that Sol is fucking with them with such an obvious quest.  Isabelle wonder if they could even successfully destroy him at Twenty, since masters are the most powerful in their homes.  However, Ash's idea for solving the problem shows how Sol might not be ready for the adult versions of his friends:  Ash suggests they destroy Glass Town, which Sol has molded in his image, to bring him to them.  That should go well.

Doomsday Clock #9:  OK, we've officially moved past the careful storytelling phase of this event and entered the ass-kicking phase.  The Justice League -- namely the Green Lanterns and Constantine -- examine the blast site in Moscow.  They realize that someone was trying to kill Superman and pin the blame on Firestorm.  They trace the energy to Mars and take virtually every hero on Earth with them to confront Dr. Manhattan.  Meanwhile, Bruce awakens from his coma and tries to send a message to the Justice League, saying they're being played.  Alfred reminds Bruce that he himself told Clark that Firestorm wasn't the culprit, but Bruce simply looks at Rorschach's journal and says he should've listened.  Clark remains in a coma, and Lois is surprised when Lex comes to "visit."  He tells her that he sent her the footage of the Justice Society heroes and that a "force" is undermining all existence.  He then cryptically asks her if she's ever heard of Wally West.  On Mars, Dr. Manhattan reveals to Firestorm that the Professor purposefully created the accident that merged them to examine metahumans from the inside.  (Later, we learn that the Professor was the head of the Department of Metahuman Affairs and likely the creator of the metahumans revealed as part of the Superman Theory.)  Wonder Woman addresses the United Nations, and President Trump renounces Superman (hilariously saying in his tweet that he'd done more for the world anyway).  It all comes to a head as Batman's message fails to arrive with the League in time and Dr. Manhattan destroys all the heroes on Mars.  Meanwhile, on Earth, Black Adam arrives with Giganta and the Creeper to break into the United Nations, announcing he's "making a move."  Indeed.

Star Wars #62:  "I hate to sound like your dad, kid, but what the hell are you doing hanging around with death cults?"  Ha ha ha.  Well played, Gillen, well played.  Other than that line, the best part of this issue is Leia having to deny that it's a revenge mission as she gathers former allies and colleagues to destroy Shu-Torun.

Uncanny X-Men #13:  I’m surprised to say it, but this series may be the most exciting one on the stands right now.  For the first time in a long time, Rosenberg gives the X-Men a purpose, as Scott puts together a target list of the X-Men’s greatest threats and thorniest problems.  (Logan calls it a kill list.  Magik calls it a suicide pack.  Probably most accurately, Alex calls it the invite list to the worst party ever.)  First on their list is Dark Beast, who they capture only after learning he’s been torturing Jamie Madrox in an underground bunker.  (My only complaint with this issue is this part.  Not only has Marvel still not told us how Jamie allegedly survived yet another brush with death in "Death of X," when everyone was clear that Jamie Prime was dead even in the "Multiple Man" miniseries, but we have yet another villain torturing him.  Can we please put this plotline to rest so we can get back the Jamie that we “X-Factor” fans know and love?)  Rosenberg is at his best when he focuses on the team’s dynamic.  Alex is the same disgruntled mess that we last saw in the promising “Astonishing X-Men.”  In fact, by making the team live in the back of Harry’s Bar, Rosenberg seems to be (wisely) treating this series as an extension of that one.  But, that said, Alex has pulled himself together a bit, as he threatens Scott here by telling him that he won’t let Scott become the man that he was (or the X-Men become the team that they were before they died).  Rosenberg is underlining Alex as the moral center of the team, which makes sense on a team where the only other members in full charge of their faculties are Scott, Logan, and Illyana.  Next issue, Rosenberg picks up where “X-Men Disassembled” ended, with the MLF hitting pharmacies that are distributing the mutant vaccine.  The X-Men hiding in the shadows while trying to make the world a better place is exactly where they should be.

Also Read:  Age of X-Man:  Prisoner X #1; Avengers:  No Road Home #4; Conan the Barbarian #4; Star Wars:  Vader - Dark Visions #1

Not-Very-New Comics: The February 6 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Age of X-Man:  The Marvelous X-Men #1:  Nadler and Thompson do a solid job here as we get a better sense of the rules that Nate has imposed on this reality.  In a serious wink to continuity nerds like me, the authors reveal that a fateful meeting with an alternate Universe version of himself (as depicted in an issue of his self-titled series from 2000) inspired Nate to build his all-mutant Utopia around his own take on "rugged individualism."  His alternate self apparently sacrificed himself to save his own Universe, inspiring Nate to do what he had to do to save his Universe.  In his conversations with Nate, alterNate (see what I did there?) repeatedly expressed a philosophy that held each individual was essentially his own god.  Nate has now taken this concept to the extreme:  for example, the X-Men all live in separate houses divided by fences.  It's also why he's outlawed sex:  he doesn't want people to develop connections to each other.

We get to see how this philosophy works in everyday life when X-23 fleetingly remembers Gabby.  She tells Nate about the memory, and he confesses he shared a similar past as she did:  they were both clones bred as weapons.  X-23 expresses surprise that she never heard that story previously, and Nate informs her it's because it would've led to an emotional connection.  Just like she can't remember Gabby, X-23 can't feel a bond with Nate.  Nate erases her memory just as Laura realizes what he's doing and unsuccessfully tries to stop him.

This rest of the issue's plot is just as interesting.  The X-Men try to stop a wildfire around Los Angeles that is destroying Cerebro West.  Given Nate's seemingly total control over this reality, Nadler and Thompson's decision not to show how the fire started raises all sorts of questions.  After all, it seems like the fire wiped out pods full of unhatched children; Nate hurriedly (and unconvincingly) tells the X-Men he managed to save the pods.  The only part of this issue that made me raise an eyebrow is the depictions of just how powerful the X-Men are:  Jean reading four books at a time, Magneto making dinner while reading a book, etc.  It implies a casual use of pretty significant powers that we don't normally see, but that may be intentional on the authors' part.  All in all, it's a solid debut that answers just enough questions and leaves us with all the right questions.

Avengers #14:  This issue is pretty great, to be honest.  After the fizzled "war" with Atlantis and non sequitur paleolithic Iron Fist issue, I was starting to feel disillusioned with this series.  Aaron had too many irons (heh) in the fire, and it was hard to tell what story he was telling from issue to issue.  But, he wisely focuses on one story in this issue, and it's a doozy:  someone named the Shadow Colonel and his Legion of Unliving announce the start of a vampire civil war when they raze Dracula's castle to the ground.  The Avengers spread across the globe trying to mitigate the war's impact on civilians, and they're surprised when the Shadow Colonel seems to surrender to Cap and Thor.  But, it's really because he wanted access to Ghost Rider, who he can somehow control.  Meanwhile, Dracula seeks asylum in Russia from the Winter Guard, and I'm totally sure that's going to go over well.  Aaron should stick to these sorts of issues, particularly ones that allow for a relevant guest star (like Blade, here).  It was super fun and didn't feel like filler (like the paleolithic Iron Fist issue) or unnecessary (like the Agents of Wakanda issue).

Batman #64:  I'm happy to say this issue is much better than many recent ones.  Gotham and Gotham Girl were great characters, and I'm glad to see them used here.  The tension between Bruce and Barry is also great.  I haven't been following "Heroes in Crisis," but Williamson does a good job of showing both men at the brink of exhaustion and behaving accordingly.  After King's often nonsensical ramblings, Williamson is a breath of fresh air:  everyone here acts like actual human beings and not just poetry-spouting automatons.  I'll even get "The Flash" issues!  But, OMFG, I can't believe it just extends the amount of time we have to deal with "Knightmares."  They need to fire whoever the Batman editor is, because it's absurd that the already absurd delay in addressing Thomas Wayne's appearance is getting extended even longer.

Die #3:  This issue is one of the most brilliant issues I've ever read, and it has little to do with Dungeons & Dragons.  Oh, Kieron Gillen.  Is there anything you can't do?

We start in media res as the party faces a pretty fierce looking dragon.  We learn Angela accidentally attracted the attention of the Prussian forces (and said dragon) when she left to party to find some Fair.  The party hoped they took out the Prussians before they could alert command, but they obviously failed as they're now face-to-face with a Prussian steel dragon.  The dragon billows poisonous gas, and Isabelle is able to get a warning from one of her gods just in time to get everyone to scatter.  (Well, except Chuck, whose power is apparently extreme luck.)  Ash stumbles off the battlefield into a foxhole, encountering a British solider holding the hand of his dying comrade.  Stephanie Hans doesn't flinch here in showing the terribleness of the war:  the gas melted the dying soldier's eyes as he kept returning to the battlefield to save his comrades.

At this stage, it's clear "Eternal Prussia" is 1914 every day.  The soldier dies, and the remaining soldier knows he's never going home, just like his various great-grandfathers.  (The reference to a long line of male ancestors who died in the war really underlines the "Eternal" part.)  His lungs are full of the gas, and he expresses surprise, because he had been pretty sure he'd survive "the curse."  He manages to dictate a letter to his family to Ash before he dies.  In possibly one of the most unexpected developments I've ever read in a comic, an unnamed J.R.R. Tolkein then appears.  He's the master of this realm, a title that clearly has significance in Die.  He and Ash talk about his experience in the "Great War" (and how the hobbit chapters, and not action ones, were always Ash's favorite), and Tolkein uses one of his giant eagles to send the soldier's letter to his wife.  But, even this development isn't a win: a British commander slays the eagle.  When one of his soldiers asks what the eagle was carrying, the commander burns the letter and dismisses it as propaganda.  Gillen implies that the commander knew damn well what the letter was and that it wasn't the first one he burned.  But, the greatest question this issue poses is whether Tolkein knew as well.  Gillen lets us sit with that unresolved question and all the implications about wars and commanders it raises.

Back in the trenches (literally), Matt arrives, and Ash tells him that only he can stop the dragon.  Matt threatens Ash when it seems like he's going to use his powers on Matt again, but Ash demurs, saying he doesn't have to do so -- he simply points out the horror around them.  It's enough:  Matt goes full Grief Knight and defeats the dragon.  As they leave Eternal Prussia, Matt notes that they thought being trapped in Die at 16 years old was the most terrible thing that could happen to anyone.  But, he now wonders what it would've been like to have been 16 years old in 1914.  That, my friend, is the sort of brilliant insight that shows why Gillen is such a great writer.  He manages to turn this issue into a reverie on the fruitlessness of war and not "just" a fantasy comic.  As Ash and Tolkein note, you may know a dragon is just flesh and bone, but then you face a dragon and it becomes something else again.  It's all brilliant, brilliant stuff.

(In re-reading this issue, I noticed the next set of soldiers the commander sends into the field are hobbit-sized and the commander tells them they can walk where they're going.  Seriously, this series is effing amazing.)

Star Wars #61:  The best part about this issue is Gillen (again!) doesn't even let us get unreservedly excited about Leia's plan to decimate Shu-Torun, as one of the members of Scar Squadron on Hubin unexpectedly stumbles upon her plans.  This development adds a whole new layer of tension, as Leia is unaware that the clock is ticking on her mission.  Will she get her revenge before Scar Squadron escapes Hubin?  We'll see! 

Uncanny X-Men #11:  Rosenberg does great stuff here with this introductory story.  By the end of the issue, it feels like Cyclops' stumbling efforts to protect the last of Earth's mutants is an entirely separate event unto itself, as much a "What If...?" as "Age of X-Man" is.  It just happens to be the one that won't be ret-conned.

Over the course of the issue, Rosenberg takes us on a tour of the X-Men's and Scott's failures.  We start with Scott struggling with his denial that the X-Men are truly dead while governments around the world are mandating that people take the anti-mutant vaccine.  Rosenberg uses these two realities to underline just how much mutantkind is closer to extinction than it ever has been, maybe ever more than when Wanda decimated the mutant population.  Both Blindfold and Phil Ulrich encourage Scott to accept the X-Men are gone, but he can't.  Scott is also struggling to accept his role in creating this status quo.  In other words, not only did the X-Men -- the team that he led for most of his adult life -- fail to prevent this outcome, but he personally failed to do so.  In fact, he made everything worse, as Chamber reminds him when Scott goes looking for Morlock support.  Chamber accuses, not unjustly, Scott of being responsible for fanning the anti-mutant flames in his wars against the Avengers and the Inhumans, and Scott doesn't really have a rejoinder to this accusation.  How could he?  Rosenberg makes it clear that it's one more blow Scott struggles to take.  After all, he's sacrificed everything -- even his life -- for the X-Men, and all it did was get mutants to the brink of extinction.

Rosenberg's at his best when he takes a deteriorating Scott to an anti-mutant rally headlined by a woman trying to unseat Senator Allen.  She celebrates the anti-mutant vaccine for removing the "genetically abnormal," a phrase that struck fear into my gay, gay heart.  Not surprisingly, Scott gets into a fight with a group of anti-mutant protesters, and he's only saved when Captain America intervenes.  It's here where Rosenberg shines.  Scott rails against Cap for failing to do more to help the mutants, as he once promised he'd do.  Cap asks Scott what exactly he thought he was going to accomplish, taking on a crowd by himself.  Scott amazingly responds that he thought "standing up to fascism" was something Cap would understand.  Noticing a camera on him, Scott invites all remaining mutants to meet him at Salem Center.  Not surprisingly, the Reavers, the Sapien League, and other enemies appear, and Rosenberg makes it seem like Scott is actually suicidal at this point.  But, then Logan also appears, and away we go.

The back-up stories flesh out these dynamics a little more.  For his part, Logan goes further than Scott when confronting Black Widow and Bucky on the rally's margins.  He wonders why they're protecting a bunch of fascists from the MLF when they could be protecting mutants from the fascists.  (Natasha and Bucky don't really have an answer to that.)  Callisto fleshes out the precariousness of mutantkind's situation when she tells Logan that the X-Men's disappearance means O.N.E. and other government agencies are no longer kept in check by fear the X-Men will intervene.  As such, they felt free to mandate the anti-mutant vaccine.  One question left unanswered here is why O.N.E. was trying to find Blindfold; Rosenberg never really tells us what O.N.E. thought Blindfold knew.  She commits suicide at the end of the issue, so it's clear we're not going to know anytime soon.

Perhaps the best part about this issue is that Rosenberg actually makes this story feel like the event.  Forget "Age of X-Man."  Cyclops and Wolverine as the last two X-Men on Earth, racing to stop the total extermination of the human race (possibly by Logan stopping Scott from doing something stupid)?  That's the event, to me.

Also Read:  Conan the Barbarian #3

Not-Very-New Comics!: The January 9 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Avengers #12:  The idea of T'Challa assembling a team of agents to provide the Avengers with intelligence is so good that it honestly makes you wonder why no one else has thought of it before.  As T'Challa notes, this team of Avengers is the most powerful one ever assembled, so it makes sense they wouldn't be the ones doing the legwork, be it investigating Namor's plans for the surface world or the brewing vampire civil war.  Enter the Agents of Wakanda.  My only concern going forward is I wonder how Aaron is going to juggle so many characters.  We're probably at something like 20 identified characters here so far.  I get Broo doesn't need to be involved in the A plot, but a lot of these characters are sufficiently well known (like Broo) that it would be disappointing if we only see them in brief moments.  In other words, it could all be too much of a good thing.  I'm guessing that probably means we're going to see an "Agents of Wakanda" series soon...

Batman #62:  [Sigh.]  King seems to be trying to tie some threads together here, but I still have my doubts.  As Bruce tries to figure out how Professor Pyg captured him and why he's suddenly deaf, he ponders the events of the last few issues, from Catwoman leaving him at the altar to Bane controlling Arkham to Thomas appearing in the Batcave.  King seems to be connecting all these events, and I would welcome some revelation that he hasn't just been shooting blanks in the dark.  Of course, part of the problem is that the events of these last few issues -- Dick getting shot in the head, Alfred bleeding on the floor of the Batcave, etc. -- are repeated in "Detective Comics."  So far over there, a weird Clayface-y creature exposed Leslie to laughing gas and someone stabbed Alfred, though I can't remember if he was stabbed as Zorro there or in this series.  I mean, did the group editor just take vacation or something?  No one saw a problem with this timing?  That said, the issue ends with Pyg taking off his mask, revealing he's actually Damian, which begs the question if Damian was also the one who convinced the Batcomputer that "Zorro" was Commissioner Gordon.  Or, wait, did that happen in "Detective Comics?"  Whatever.

Die #2:  Gillen sketches out an incredible amount of detail here without falling into the void of telling instead of showing.  (Yes, he's that good.)  It's a thrilling issue, and I can't wait to jump right into it.

First, we learn the Grandmaster was the one who told the kids how they could return:  they all just had to wish it.  He told them because he wanted them to spread word about him on Earth, since it meant (somehow) more victims would fall into his reality, called Die.  It's why Ash initially created the geas, to prevent them from doing exactly that.  After defeating the Grandmaster, the party made the wish to return.  But, the Grandmaster managed to grab Sol just as they dissolved into our reality.  Now, in Die, Sol doesn't want to leave, as they all realize immediately.  He wants them to continue playing the game, and he disappears to his land in Twenty, where they presumably have to face him.  

The party is left with few options other than traipsing across Die to get to Sol.  But, some roads are more perilous than others.  They decide to avoid Eternal Prussia altogether (for reasons that aren't immediately clear to me) and debate their two options.  They can cross the Front, a war zone that Ash explains to us was so dangerous even when they were overconfident teenagers that they avoided it altogether.  Or, they can sail across the seas of Gondol to Angria, where we learn they spent most of their time in the past.  Their decision is made for them when a knight unexpectedly approaches them; he was Ash's lover, and Ash bound him to his word that he wouldn't rest until he saw Ash again.  He died three years later, and he now exists as an eyeless zombie, unable to fulfill his oath.  Isabelle offers a favor to one of her gods and restores his eyes.  He finally melts with a curse on his lips for Ash, and they decide to avoid their past and head through the Front.

Before all that happens, an elf queen from the Dreaming Lands approached them asking for help as a "waking nightmare" has engulfed the Dreaming Lands (paging Silvanesti).  But, Chuck quickly realizes she's a Fallen, this world's version of an orc, or a non-conscious "trap with legs."  (Chuck had this epiphany because she offered to sleep with him.)  It's here where we first see everyone's powers.  For example, Isabelle calls in a favor that one of the gods owes her, making it seem like clerical powers here are based on favors.  As she uses her powers to fight the Fallen and its minions,  Chuck roots around the "queen's" discarded bags to find "gifts of the Fair," or elven treasure.  We learn these "gifts" are what fuel Angela's powers.  But, they only do so until the next day, essentially meaning that she's addicted to them.  Now empowered, she starts turning off the Fallen's minions; in other words, she seems to have the power to hack into Die's underlying code, as if it really were a videogame.  For his part, Ash uses his powers to make Matt feel grief that he doesn't feel so he can summon his Grief Knight sword and defeat the rest of the Fallen's minions.

In other words, wow.  One of the best parts of this issue is when they all agree to treat Die as real.  Isabelle takes the lead on this front, reminding them if they don't -- if they treat it as fantasy and it's real -- their actions will make them monsters.  Angela reminds them that her cybernetic arm disappeared when they arrived in the "real" world, meaning that Die has to be real, on some level.  This exchange essentially serves as Gillen's call for us, as readers, also to take the series' events seriously, which I totally do.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #1:  I'm a fan of the concept of this series -- focusing on Peter's immediate neighborhood -- since it likely entails exploring his supporting cast more than we have recently.  Slott largely ignored Peter's family and friends, preferring to create his own characters, like the Horizon crew or the various Parker Industries employees.  Other than the Horizon crew (to an extent), Slott's supporting characters usually served a very specific plot purpose.  Conversely, back in the day, Peter's encounters with folks like Bambi, Candi, Randi, or Mrs. Muggins humanized him, making us feel like we knew him better.  In other words, they weren't a means to an end.  Taylor seems to be going that route here, and I approve.  That said, Taylor also seems to be making Peter into a little too much of a saint.  For example, when he saves a man and his daughter as their van plunges off a bridge, he has the man give the cash he was offering him to a group of homeless folks (whose names he all knows).  They later treat Peter to a hot dog in recognition of how good of a guy he is, not knowing he's the reason they're flush in the first place.  I'm not opposed to showing that side of Peter, but it can't be all we see of Peter.  I'd love to see him trying to skip on rent like he used to do back in the day.  But, that said, I'm still happy with the direction we're going, like when Peter's surprised by two kids in his laundry basket as he's changing into his costume in his room.  We used to see those sorts of transitions a lot more, and they, again, remind us that someone is behind the mask.  They're what has always made Peter so relatable, and here's hoping Taylor keeps up that focus.

Iceman #5:  Grace manages to stick a wobbly landing here as he finally brings together the large number of threads he's been trying to weave into a coherent story.  First, Bobby eventually explains to Kitty that he was trying to handle Sinister on his own because he felt she needed something (i.e., the mutant-pride festival) to go right, after her disastrous wedding.  I probably would've worked that part in a little sooner, since I've been wondering about it since issue #1.  It also requires us to take a lot on Bobby's efforts on faith, since Bobby seems to have been working off-panel with Bishop to prepare for Sinister's Ice Army to attack the festival.  (As far as I can tell, nothing we've seen so far would imply they were as prepared for the Army's attack as they are here.)  That said, I'm still not sure why Sinister would attack a mutant-pride festival.  It feels...off-brand for him.  Moreover, Grace also implies Bishop and Iceman were also on top of the anti-mutant soldiers attacking the festival, but I don't have any memory of them getting that information?  Again, we seem to have to take it on faith, though at least we understand why they're attacking the festival.  I really would've preferred to see more time between Bobby and Judah, as we get in a flashback here where Bobby has an unusual moment of reflection.  Sitting alone on a beach with Judah, Bobby realizes he has to talk constantly not only to distract everyone from his anxiety but also not to fade into the background.  It's a pretty incisive take on Bobby, placing his loneliness (particularly while he was in the closet) at the core of his characterization.  It fits, and I really wish Grace would've focused on that part of him throughout this series.  Instead, we get him weirdly claiming Sinister's just lonely, too, almost offering him a hug to stop him.  (Seriously.)  It's just a mess, but I guess it's the best I'm going to get.  I still wish we'd get some sort of regular Bobby vehicle focused more on his coming-out experience, like the brief glimpse we get here with Judah.  Fingers crossed.

Star Wars #59:  This issue covers a lot of ground.  First, Leia reveals her plans to Han, informing him that they gained access to Shu-Torun’s defense systems when they spiked into Trios’ ship.  She explains she didn’t want to tell him and Luke before she was sure about her plan, since she didn’t want to raise “false hope.”  Han hilariously notes his "false" hopes were on something else, and Leia just as hilariously evicts him from her room.  At Han’s urging, Leia explains her plan to Luke, who asks why she couldn’t trust him.  Of course, at dinner that night, Markona reveals Luke built the transmitter, prompting Leia to call him on his bullshit.  Dinner is interrupted when Scar Squadron arrives, which Luke blames on himself until Tula explains her father blocked his signal:  he just wanted to see if Luke would actually activate the transmitter.  Kreel reveals they found the team after torturing Sana and tells Markona he’ll kill Sana if the Han, Leia, and Luke don't reveal themselves.  The gang of course appears guns blazing, and Markona unexpectedly has Han and Leia stunned.  Kreel is excited, but Markona explains he’ll face Luke in a duel as part of Markonan hospitality.  This issue is all about tests of trust, as Luke fails his test by activating the transmitter but Han passes his test when he simply stuns a drunk who challenges him to a duel.  Gillen keeps underlining how childish Luke is, not only from his actions but by how his dialogue is at its whiniest.  In fact, it’s one of those issues where you can hear the actors’ voices saying the characters’ dialogue.  For the fact this arc is all about inaction and isolation, it's been surprisingly good.

Uncanny X-Men #9:  The thing is, X-Man is totally right:  the X-Men did abandon him and Legion.  They let Omega-level mutants with obvious issues — from Nate’s time displacement to David’s mental illness — just roam free with no to little support.  It’s like how Reed Richards can miraculously solve every problem, except his best friend’s.  Now, when one of those neglected children is powerful enough to do something they don’t want him to do, they suddenly care.  Moreover, why don’t they want Nate to achieve his goal of Utopia here?  I know why I oppose it, but I’m surprised the authors haven’t had anyone defect from Jean’s side, to think maybe Nate has a good point.  It’s these sort of defections that made “Operation: Galactic Storm” and the first “Civil War” so gripping.  Jean's been dead for years and everyone just blindly follows her?  Really?

Also Read:  Nightwing #56; Spider-Gwen:  Ghost Spider #4; Thor #9

Not-Very-New Comics: The November 14 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Avengers #10:  Can I just admit I'm not feeling this series?  I mean, I love Aaron usually, but something isn't clicking here for me.  Maybe because it's all a little...much?  Defenders of the Deep!  The Winter Guard!  Squadron Supreme of America!  Phoenix Wolverine!  Blade!  I get it's the 700th issue, and I appreciate Aaron trying to tell one coherent story for this extra-sized issue, instead of dividing it into forgettable back-up stories.  But, he seems to rush the most interesting part of the story, namely the increasingly chaotic melée between the Defenders, the Guard, and the Avengers.  I would've preferred him and the artists really spreading their wings there.  Instead, he spends eight pages on Odin lecturing Ghost Rider about the history of animosity between the Rider and the Starbrand.  Le sigh.  I get artist constraints probably contributed to that, but it was a disappointment nonetheless.

Captain America #5:  I love the story Coates is telling here:  it's essentially the sequel to Brubaker's original Alexander Lukin story, with all the players -- including the Red Skull -- now on the board again.  My only question at this point is how exactly Alexa resurrected Lukin.  I figured Selene was going to drain Sharon's life force and imbue it into Lukin's body.  But, Steve seemed to interrupt that transfer.  Later, the Army's doctors proclaim Sharon as rested as if she had gone to Club Med.  How does that work, then?  Did Alexa use the Cosmic Cube instead?  Curiouser and curiouser.  At any rate, Alexa makes an excellent point to Selene about now they're striking while the iron is hot in America.  After all, Cap's time as the head of Hydra has left people uncertain who the heroes and villains are.  It's a moment ripe for interference.  The best part of this story is the fact Coates isn't stretching anyone's characterization to make people's actions and statements mirror our current political environment.  He's chosen his characters perfectly.  In fact, he almost implies Marvel anticipated this particular moment when Brubaker created some of these characters over ten years ago.

Fantastic Four #3:  This issue is great, though I wonder where Slott is going with the overall story.  On the plus side, Slott does a great job of showing how clever Reed is.  He realizes the Griever is an agent of destruction, not of creation.  As such, he has the extended team destroy all her teleportation pods save one.  Since she can't create a new one, she's left with no option but to use it before the heroes destroy it, stranding her in this finite Universe.  Reed is able to take this risk of stranding the team because he has faith in its ability to create its own device, something Valeria easily does with the help of assembled geniuses like Black Panther and Spider-Man.  This part is great.  It puts the science front and center, exactly where it should be.  Slott also manages to hit emotional notes just right, a major accomplishment for him.  Ben's conversations with Franklin is great.  Whereas Peter tries to lay the "with great power..." talk on him, Ben rejects putting the responsibility to stop the Griever squarely on Franklin's adolescent shoulders.  As Franklin despairs over his failure to stop her, Ben tells him that guys like them draw strength from their family and keep trying even when they fail.  I totally cried when they jointly declared it was clobberin' time.  For me, the only downside of this issue is that Reed and Susan are still acting weirdly.  Franklin all but collapses when he sees Ben, telling Ben that he knew they shouldn't have left them for the five years.  Johnny's joyous and wordless reunion with Valeria is equally moving.  But, they only serve to highlight the question at the heart of this relaunch:  why didn't Reed and Sue tell Ben and Johnny they were alive?  The recent issue of "Marvel Two-in-One" focused on Ben and Reed also didn't answer this question, and at some point Slott is going to have to get to it.  But, in the meantime, he's told a pretty spectacular (heh) Fantastic Four story here.  I'm legit excited about the wedding.

Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #312:  This issue is OK.  The idea of using the Central Park Zoo’s full allotment of tranquilizers on Morlun is solid.  The problem is that Morlun is always conveniently slow at exactly the right moments.  Last issue we saw how fast and seemingly unstoppable Morlun is; in other words, it showed why he’s such a threat.  Here, Miles fights Morlun but fails to stop him in his search for Peter.  However, Miles is able to find Jameson, have a conversation with him, find Peter, and have a conversation with him all before Morlun finds them.  It’s a little unrealistic, given how in awe of Morlun’s superior speed and tracking ability we’re supposed to be.

Uncanny X-Men #1:  This issue is so bad that I really have to wonder what the purpose of editors is, if they allow something so terrible to get to market.  No, seriously, it’s that bad.  Let's get to it.

First, the plot makes little sense from moment to moment.  The tension of this initial arc is that someone — we don’t know who, at this point — has created a “vaccine” that can “cure” mutantdom.  OK, I get that part.  That's pretty standard fare and not a terrible way to up the stakes so high that every mutant is called off the benches.  But, the actions we see here related to that central tension make no sense.  First, for some reason, Kitty takes a group of trainees to stop Forearm from destroying a pharmacy.  The first problem is the “trainees” are Anole, Armor, Glob Herman, Idie, Pixie, and Rockslide.  Really?  Are we pretending they’re still trainees?  (One of the back-up stories implies Anole and Armor are annoyed about this treatment, but pet peeve #3 says an author can’t just have a character note how idiotic a situation is and get credit for it.)  To make matters worse (an  expression I'll use a lot in this review), the authors portray X-23 as a hardened X-Man, even though she was part of Kyle and Yost’s New X-Men team with Anole, Armor, Pixie, and Rockslide.  But, whatever.  It's the least of our worries at this point.  More problematically, Kitty  doesn’t put two and two together to realize where Forearm is, the Mutant Liberation Front may not be far behind.  This lapse in judgment is particularly notable because they’re going to save the pharmaceutical factory creating the “cure,” something Kitty doesn’t tell the kids and they only learn after she mysteriously disappears.  Professor X much, Kitty?  Also, you didn't think the MLF would hit a target like a pharmacy producing a "cure" for mutantdom?  Also, note I mentioned Kitty "disappears."  She does exactly that:  as she's trying to find a place to land the Blackbird, she disappears, causing the Blackbird to crash and leaving the "kids" on their own to face the MLF.  Way to lead, Kitty.  Way to lead.

Meanwhile, we shift to some sort of public debate happening on the steps of City Hall between a new Robert Kelly-esque Senator and Kitty.  However, as previously noted, Kitty isn't there as she's, natch, disappeared.  But, I don't even remotely get how she thought she would be there.  They were just going to dispatch a MLF-less Forearm and she'd pop into the rally, looking well rested and ready for the cameras?  Has she developed the power to bend space and time?  At any rate, Jean is nervous to take Kitty's place, even though she repeatedly advocated the mutant cause to the entire world in “X-Men Red.”  Also, what sort of debate happens this way?  Who decided it was a good idea to have a mutantphobic politician and the X-Men’s leader debate on the steps of City Hall in front of a crowd with no obvious security other than the Senator's bodyguards?  Seriously, I'm not crazy here, right?  I also have to note the art in this section is SO BAD, you guys.  Angel, Betsy, and Jean look like they’ve been forcibly de-aged to childhood, and I didn’t recognize Sam or Northstar at all.  Worst of all, Kitty looks almost exactly like Victoria Beckham, which...no.  It’s just awful.  At any rate, it ends in chaos — shocker, I know — when Jamie Madrox — who Jean saw in a vision to start off the issue — appears on stage and has his dupes inexplicably attack the crowd.  Also someone...hypnotizes Angel?  Honestly, I just have no idea.

At this point, we just sort of abandon the main story and move into three back-up stories that tell one overarching story.  Since I’m reading this issue many months late, I’m assuming the mysterious figure trying to take back Dark Beast and the Sugar Man is Nate Grey.  But, I have no idea how that story is connected with the initial story, in terms of substance or timing.  To make matters worse (see), the “Director’s Cut” then includes 226 pages of filler — covers, scripts, etc.  Honestly, couldn’t they have maybe focused a little more on the actual stories in the issue?  Like, I don't need to read this issue again in script form.  One time was more than enough.

Seriously, I don’t understand how the relaunch of this series after such a long hiatus could be so rushed.  The frustrating part is the overarching plot is more or less fine.  All the editors had to do was to make a few tweaks here and there to take some of the less fleshed out parts of the book (like Kitty's ability to bend space and time) and it would've be fine.  Maybe not stellar, but fine.  Instead, we get a garbled mess that makes me worry Marvel is once again going to screw up an X-Men relaunch.  I guess the more things change...

The Weatherman #6:  LeHeup really nails the landing here as he wraps up this first arc.  

We learn the Marshal didn't kill the Pearl to save Nathan:  he killed the Pearl so he could kill Nathan.  But Cross successfully fights off the Marshal's partner, White Light — who Garren later hilariously calls Pinker-Bell — and stops the Marshal before he does the deed.  Cross recruits the Marshal to their cause by explaining to him that Nathan is the link to the Sword of God and stresses how she let Pinker-Bell live as a sign of good faith.   

She then uses the memory drug we've previously seen to rescue Nathan from his thought loop, though we finally get to see a glimpse of who he was.  It's clear that Ian wasn't a raving lunatic as he tries to convince Jenner to stop his men from killing Shimani rebels seeking to secede from Arcadia.  The memory jolts Nathan awake.  

Later, Cross gets Orin Wetzel to tell her Dr. Nyseth's location, and Garren insists on joining Cross in her quest so he can watch her back, as he doesn't trust the Marshal or Pinker-Bell.  (Garren seems to be the only person in this series with common sense.)  They're all surprised to discover their destination (and presumably Nyseth's location):  a satellite-surrounded Earth.  Previously, I thought Earth had been destroyed, but it now seems more likely the Sword of God released some sort of biological weapon?  All I know is I can't wait for the second act!

(I edited the texts of my "The Weatherman" reviews in November 2024 as I occasionally called Cross "Amy" instead of Amanda and the Marshal as "Cowboy" or just "Marshal.")

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #9; Darth Vader #23; Detective Comics #992; Dragon Age:  Deception #2; Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra #26; Thor #7; Vault of Spiders #2

Not-Very-New Comics: The October 10 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #7:  This issue is great when it focuses on Fred and Peter trying to fight their way through the mob at the Bar with No Name.  It gets even better when we're privy to their conversation in the adjoining alley.  (The fact they're sitting on garbage cans as they talk is an excellent metaphor for their lives.)  Fred's confession that he bought LMDs of the Superior Foes from the Tinkerer for companionship is weirdly heart-warming (and -breaking).  It also fuels Peter's decision to give Fred the same second chance Aunt May and Mary Jane gave him.  But, the story goes off the rails later in the issue when an unidentified new villain forces the Kingpin to swear fealty to him.  We're told they have a long history together and the Kingpin apparently tried, and failed, to get him to resurrect Vanessa years ago.  But, Spencer overplays his hand (just like Fred!) by making this guy seem all-powerful.  He's like the Green Goblin crossed with Dr. Octopus and Mephisto.  It's just...odd, and Spencer needs to reveal some cards here before it gets boring as well, as stories involving omnipotent and omniscient characters often do.  (If it is Mephisto, I wonder if Spencer is building toward undoing "One More Day"...)

Avengers #9:  Aaron certainly makes it clear Namor is playing for keeps here as Namor murders Stingray after he declines to embrace the oceans "or die."  The issue's stakes started much lower:  Tiger Shark tries to rob a cruise ship, and it just so happened Stingray, his brother-in-law, was a passenger on it.  Stingray encourages Tiger Shark to get help, telling him his sister misses him.  Then, Namor appears, and it all goes downhill from there.  This entire sequence is gripping, though I'll admit I felt like I missed a few issues.  We learn Namor's rage was initially stoked when the crew on a Roxxon ship murdered some Atlanteans, which I vaguely remember, possibly from the new "Thor."  The Avengers begged him to release the crew after he threatened to execute them and Namor relented to Captain America who, as usual, was able to appeal to his better angels.  But, the Avengers offer little more than words when they discover the devastation the Final Host wrought on Atlantis.  When a group of starving Atlantean children "drown" on the surface after believing the Avengers would feed them, Namor snaps.  He creates his Defenders of the Deep and swears vengeance.  Despite the disorientation over how angry Namor suddenly is, I can't say I disliked the issue.  After all, Aaron has Stingray joke about "Atlantis Attacks" as a way to make clear it's a different ballgame this time.  If that event was inspired by Namor's arrogance, this war comes from a fight for Atlantis' very survival.  Namor isn't wrong here, and I'm intrigued to see how the Avengers handle that.

Captain America #4:  I'm very happy to give Coates a long glide path on this series, though I'm already pretty happy with the direction he's going.  Here, Cap storms an abandoned military base in Algeria after learning Thunderbolt Ross sold out Sharon Carter to the Power Elite.  As Alexander Lukin's widow prepares to experiment on Sharon, Steve makes his way through the Elite's guards.  Along the way, Cap ponders how far the world has fallen when you can't even rely on a fellow patriot like Ross.  It sounds like a punchline, but Coates doesn't make it so.  Instead, he gives us a meditation on loss as Steve admits he's still struggling to accept a world that now doesn't trust him.  Moreover, Lukin brilliantly summaries the American heartland as a proletariat eager to greet the Russians as liberators.  Coates is as insightful as he's ever been, though I'd say he should probably give it a rest next issue with the long sequences of Cap's thought bubbles.  It totally worked here, but at some point we're just going to need a good ol' fashioned slugfest.

Iceman #2:  This issue is just...weird.  It's unfortunate, because it starts from the interesting premise of Grace addressing why Emma didn't out Bobby when she occupied his body.  I thought the answer was going to be her unusual sensitivity came from having a beloved gay brother.  Instead, we learn she had a mentally unhinged gay brother with telepathic abilities who murdered his abusive father.  It's...a lot.  Emma initially enlists Bobby's help not only because he's gay but he's apparently immune to telepathy in his ice form.  This part is news to me, particularly given his years of communicating with Jean.  I guess he can allow someone to read his mind?  He clearly developed this ability after young Jean outted young Bobby.  Emma thinks it's her father who has powers, but really it was just her brother pretending to be her father.  I think?  To make matters worse, the way Grace is going, I half expected Bobby to have sex with the brother in the room where he kept his father's body.  He thankfully doesn't do that, but he does just allow Emma to "handle" her brother despite the fact he murdered his own father.  Would Bobby really be OK with that?  I guess in Grace's world he is so long as his Grindr profile is there to distract him?

Spider-geddon #1:  This issue is short and to the point:  the Spider-People quickly make their way to Otto's hideout to warn him that his cloning technology is opening the door to the Inheritors' return.  Otto doesn't believe them, insisting that the clones only have his DNA and that he's never wrong.  (You know where it's going after that.)  However, a heroic alternate-reality version of Otto shows him the Inheritors have put his readings on a loop.  Otto realizes his error as Morlun, Verna, and Jennix arrive, killing Spider-Man Noir and Spider-UK in short order.  Morlun leaves to get his revenge on Peter in "Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man" as a depleted Spider-People roster finds itself face-to-face with Verna and Jennix.  It's clobbering' time!

The Weatherman #5:  LeHeup does an amazing job in this issue juggling several different competing narratives.  

The Pearl is auctioning off Nathan's death because he wants to use the money to track down other members of the Sword of God, as he -- like everyone else -- lost people he loved in Earth's destruction.  We learn Jenner has a telepath on his team who ferrets out M.S.A. infiltrators.  Cross' unwilling partner Garren successfully finds Orin Wetzel, the assistant to Dr. Nyseth, the woman who mindwiped Nathan.  LeHeup leads us to believe the Marshal is working for the Pearl and is going to kill Garren as he secures Wetzel; instead, the Marshal kills the Pearl just as the auction concludes.  Meanwhile, the Marshal's partner, White Light, tries to stop Cross from rescuing Nathan but only manages to force her to crash-land her ship.

At this stage, the only thing I don't totally understand is what Nathan could possibly know, in his evil incarnation, that Jenner would need.  Obviously, it's something, but I don't get how it could be that essential to Jenner's plan to destroy, presumably, Mars.  I guess we'll see.

(I edited the texts of my "The Weatherman" reviews in November 2024 as I occasionally called Cross "Amy" instead of Amanda and the Marshal as "Cowboy" or just "Marshal.")

The Wild Storm:  Michael Cray #12:  At the end of the day, I'm not really sure what we get here.  Constantine allows Diana a glimpse through the portal he opens.  Maybe she sees her gods, maybe she doesn't.  At any rate, the portal explodes, either because Constantine prevents her from ending the world or he loses control of the portal.  Cray gives into the Daemon inside him after Diana mortally wounds him, and he takes down Diana fairly quickly.  He brings Constantine to Trelane and resigns before saying good-bye to his father.  Hill certainly ends on a terrifying note, as I think we see his father's house in flames and Cray stares into the mirror at his Daemon chanting his own name.  To be honest, it's a more exciting issue than we've had in a while and a strong way to end a dragging series.  But, I still find myself confused about how it ties into the larger narrative before us in "The Wild Storm."  The only connection I can figure is that Cray is the only Daemon we've seen other than the one who approached Angie, and I'm not quite sure even he can take on Halo, IO, and Skywatch on his own.  Hill seemed oddly uncurious about the role this series played in the larger Wildstorm universe, and it dragged down this series throughout its run.  I'm eager to see Michael appear under Ellis' watch in the main title, because I think he can polish the edges of what Hill accomplished here in terms of developing Michael into a complicated hero.

X-Men:  Black - Mojo #1:  Who knew an issue about Mojo could be so charming?  Auckerman really brings out an unexpected side of Mojo as Blob Herman helps him ask out a girl he likes.  Seriously, it sounds crazy, but I was totally charmed by the whole enterprise.  I highly recommend.

Also Read:  Detective Comics #990; Infinity Wars #4; Ms. Marvel #35; Oblivion Song #8