Not-Very-New Comics: The November 14 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Avengers #10:  Can I just admit I'm not feeling this series?  I mean, I love Aaron usually, but something isn't clicking here for me.  Maybe because it's all a little...much?  Defenders of the Deep!  The Winter Guard!  Squadron Supreme of America!  Phoenix Wolverine!  Blade!  I get it's the 700th issue, and I appreciate Aaron trying to tell one coherent story for this extra-sized issue, instead of dividing it into forgettable back-up stories.  But, he seems to rush the most interesting part of the story, namely the increasingly chaotic melée between the Defenders, the Guard, and the Avengers.  I would've preferred him and the artists really spreading their wings there.  Instead, he spends eight pages on Odin lecturing Ghost Rider about the history of animosity between the Rider and the Starbrand.  Le sigh.  I get artist constraints probably contributed to that, but it was a disappointment nonetheless.

Captain America #5:  I love the story Coates is telling here:  it's essentially the sequel to Brubaker's original Alexander Lukin story, with all the players -- including the Red Skull -- now on the board again.  My only question at this point is how exactly Alexa resurrected Lukin.  I figured Selene was going to drain Sharon's life force and imbue it into Lukin's body.  But, Steve seemed to interrupt that transfer.  Later, the Army's doctors proclaim Sharon as rested as if she had gone to Club Med.  How does that work, then?  Did Alexa use the Cosmic Cube instead?  Curiouser and curiouser.  At any rate, Alexa makes an excellent point to Selene about now they're striking while the iron is hot in America.  After all, Cap's time as the head of Hydra has left people uncertain who the heroes and villains are.  It's a moment ripe for interference.  The best part of this story is the fact Coates isn't stretching anyone's characterization to make people's actions and statements mirror our current political environment.  He's chosen his characters perfectly.  In fact, he almost implies Marvel anticipated this particular moment when Brubaker created some of these characters over ten years ago.

Fantastic Four #3:  This issue is great, though I wonder where Slott is going with the overall story.  On the plus side, Slott does a great job of showing how clever Reed is.  He realizes the Griever is an agent of destruction, not of creation.  As such, he has the extended team destroy all her teleportation pods save one.  Since she can't create a new one, she's left with no option but to use it before the heroes destroy it, stranding her in this finite Universe.  Reed is able to take this risk of stranding the team because he has faith in its ability to create its own device, something Valeria easily does with the help of assembled geniuses like Black Panther and Spider-Man.  This part is great.  It puts the science front and center, exactly where it should be.  Slott also manages to hit emotional notes just right, a major accomplishment for him.  Ben's conversations with Franklin is great.  Whereas Peter tries to lay the "with great power..." talk on him, Ben rejects putting the responsibility to stop the Griever squarely on Franklin's adolescent shoulders.  As Franklin despairs over his failure to stop her, Ben tells him that guys like them draw strength from their family and keep trying even when they fail.  I totally cried when they jointly declared it was clobberin' time.  For me, the only downside of this issue is that Reed and Susan are still acting weirdly.  Franklin all but collapses when he sees Ben, telling Ben that he knew they shouldn't have left them for the five years.  Johnny's joyous and wordless reunion with Valeria is equally moving.  But, they only serve to highlight the question at the heart of this relaunch:  why didn't Reed and Sue tell Ben and Johnny they were alive?  The recent issue of "Marvel Two-in-One" focused on Ben and Reed also didn't answer this question, and at some point Slott is going to have to get to it.  But, in the meantime, he's told a pretty spectacular (heh) Fantastic Four story here.  I'm legit excited about the wedding.

Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #312:  This issue is OK.  The idea of using the Central Park Zoo’s full allotment of tranquilizers on Morlun is solid.  The problem is that Morlun is always conveniently slow at exactly the right moments.  Last issue we saw how fast and seemingly unstoppable Morlun is; in other words, it showed why he’s such a threat.  Here, Miles fights Morlun but fails to stop him in his search for Peter.  However, Miles is able to find Jameson, have a conversation with him, find Peter, and have a conversation with him all before Morlun finds them.  It’s a little unrealistic, given how in awe of Morlun’s superior speed and tracking ability we’re supposed to be.

Uncanny X-Men #1:  This issue is so bad that I really have to wonder what the purpose of editors is, if they allow something so terrible to get to market.  No, seriously, it’s that bad.  Let's get to it.

First, the plot makes little sense from moment to moment.  The tension of this initial arc is that someone — we don’t know who, at this point — has created a “vaccine” that can “cure” mutantdom.  OK, I get that part.  That's pretty standard fare and not a terrible way to up the stakes so high that every mutant is called off the benches.  But, the actions we see here related to that central tension make no sense.  First, for some reason, Kitty takes a group of trainees to stop Forearm from destroying a pharmacy.  The first problem is the “trainees” are Anole, Armor, Glob Herman, Idie, Pixie, and Rockslide.  Really?  Are we pretending they’re still trainees?  (One of the back-up stories implies Anole and Armor are annoyed about this treatment, but pet peeve #3 says an author can’t just have a character note how idiotic a situation is and get credit for it.)  To make matters worse (an  expression I'll use a lot in this review), the authors portray X-23 as a hardened X-Man, even though she was part of Kyle and Yost’s New X-Men team with Anole, Armor, Pixie, and Rockslide.  But, whatever.  It's the least of our worries at this point.  More problematically, Kitty  doesn’t put two and two together to realize where Forearm is, the Mutant Liberation Front may not be far behind.  This lapse in judgment is particularly notable because they’re going to save the pharmaceutical factory creating the “cure,” something Kitty doesn’t tell the kids and they only learn after she mysteriously disappears.  Professor X much, Kitty?  Also, you didn't think the MLF would hit a target like a pharmacy producing a "cure" for mutantdom?  Also, note I mentioned Kitty "disappears."  She does exactly that:  as she's trying to find a place to land the Blackbird, she disappears, causing the Blackbird to crash and leaving the "kids" on their own to face the MLF.  Way to lead, Kitty.  Way to lead.

Meanwhile, we shift to some sort of public debate happening on the steps of City Hall between a new Robert Kelly-esque Senator and Kitty.  However, as previously noted, Kitty isn't there as she's, natch, disappeared.  But, I don't even remotely get how she thought she would be there.  They were just going to dispatch a MLF-less Forearm and she'd pop into the rally, looking well rested and ready for the cameras?  Has she developed the power to bend space and time?  At any rate, Jean is nervous to take Kitty's place, even though she repeatedly advocated the mutant cause to the entire world in “X-Men Red.”  Also, what sort of debate happens this way?  Who decided it was a good idea to have a mutantphobic politician and the X-Men’s leader debate on the steps of City Hall in front of a crowd with no obvious security other than the Senator's bodyguards?  Seriously, I'm not crazy here, right?  I also have to note the art in this section is SO BAD, you guys.  Angel, Betsy, and Jean look like they’ve been forcibly de-aged to childhood, and I didn’t recognize Sam or Northstar at all.  Worst of all, Kitty looks almost exactly like Victoria Beckham, which...no.  It’s just awful.  At any rate, it ends in chaos — shocker, I know — when Jamie Madrox — who Jean saw in a vision to start off the issue — appears on stage and has his dupes inexplicably attack the crowd.  Also someone...hypnotizes Angel?  Honestly, I just have no idea.

At this point, we just sort of abandon the main story and move into three back-up stories that tell one overarching story.  Since I’m reading this issue many months late, I’m assuming the mysterious figure trying to take back Dark Beast and the Sugar Man is Nate Grey.  But, I have no idea how that story is connected with the initial story, in terms of substance or timing.  To make matters worse (see), the “Director’s Cut” then includes 226 pages of filler — covers, scripts, etc.  Honestly, couldn’t they have maybe focused a little more on the actual stories in the issue?  Like, I don't need to read this issue again in script form.  One time was more than enough.

Seriously, I don’t understand how the relaunch of this series after such a long hiatus could be so rushed.  The frustrating part is the overarching plot is more or less fine.  All the editors had to do was to make a few tweaks here and there to take some of the less fleshed out parts of the book (like Kitty's ability to bend space and time) and it would've be fine.  Maybe not stellar, but fine.  Instead, we get a garbled mess that makes me worry Marvel is once again going to screw up an X-Men relaunch.  I guess the more things change...

The Weatherman #6:  LeHeup really nails the landing here as he wraps up this first arc.  

We learn the Marshal didn't kill the Pearl to save Nathan:  he killed the Pearl so he could kill Nathan.  But Cross successfully fights off the Marshal's partner, White Light — who Garren later hilariously calls Pinker-Bell — and stops the Marshal before he does the deed.  Cross recruits the Marshal to their cause by explaining to him that Nathan is the link to the Sword of God and stresses how she let Pinker-Bell live as a sign of good faith.   

She then uses the memory drug we've previously seen to rescue Nathan from his thought loop, though we finally get to see a glimpse of who he was.  It's clear that Ian wasn't a raving lunatic as he tries to convince Jenner to stop his men from killing Shimani rebels seeking to secede from Arcadia.  The memory jolts Nathan awake.  

Later, Cross gets Orin Wetzel to tell her Dr. Nyseth's location, and Garren insists on joining Cross in her quest so he can watch her back, as he doesn't trust the Marshal or Pinker-Bell.  (Garren seems to be the only person in this series with common sense.)  They're all surprised to discover their destination (and presumably Nyseth's location):  a satellite-surrounded Earth.  Previously, I thought Earth had been destroyed, but it now seems more likely the Sword of God released some sort of biological weapon?  All I know is I can't wait for the second act!

(I edited the texts of my "The Weatherman" reviews in November 2024 as I occasionally called Cross "Amy" instead of Amanda and the Marshal as "Cowboy" or just "Marshal.")

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #9; Darth Vader #23; Detective Comics #992; Dragon Age:  Deception #2; Star Wars:  Doctor Aphra #26; Thor #7; Vault of Spiders #2

Not-Very-New Comics: The September Marvel 12 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Fantastic Four #2:  This issue is solid.  Slott makes the right call in aging Franklin and Valeria into teenagers, as they're much more interesting now than they were as children.  Valeria's attraction to a Namor-like prince and Franklin's snarky self-confidence make them both more human than they've ever been:  she's less arrogant, and he's less bland.  They're at the heart of this issue as the Griever at the End of All Things attempts to undo all Franklin's work as he finally hits the end of his ability to create new Universes.  She destroys the Molecule Man, and the team begins to flee to the Universe the most anchored to reality, where Reed feels they can save the next 1,000 Universes.  But, Valeria isn't buying it, as it would mean sacrificing her prince's Universe.  As such, she crash-lands them there to make a stand, where the Griever easily defeats them.  However, Reed has an ace up his sleeve.  As she crows about defeating the Fantastic Four, Reed reminds her she really just defeated the Future Foundation.  He tricks her into allowing him to call for the Fantastic Four, and she's surprised to confront everyone who's ever worn a Fantastic Four uniform.  When Slott's been at his best, it's been in these sorts of grand tales, and I'm excited to see where he goes from here.

Iceman #1:   As happy as I am for "Iceman" to be on the stands again, I feel like Grace still is struggling to find his voice.  In the previous iteration of this title, he had down Bobby's personality but the plots left something to be desired.  Here, the plotting is much better.  Bobby and Bishop manage to prevent the second Mutant Massacre when they foil Sinister's plan to purge mutantkind of mutants who don't look like Bobby.  In fact, Grace really explores both pretty and white privilege here as the anti-Morlock mutants exalt Bobby as the ideal mutant.  Who better than a handsome white guy to convince humans that mutants aren't all that bad?  Of course, after seeing what he's seen over the course of his lifetime, Bobby isn't buying it, and it sets him on a collision course with Sinister that promises to test his Omega-level powers.  But, it's hard not to find this Bobby obnoxious.  It's one thing to portray Bobby as a jokester, it's another thing to portray him as a man trying to be a teenager.  It plays into the stereotype of gay men as stuck in a perpetual adolescence, something Bobby is too experienced to be.  As much as I want to like this series, I also don't want to be party to Bobby becoming a caricature of gay men.

Infinity Wars #3:  This issue isn't bad per se, but Gamora's decision to fold the Universe in half seems motivated solely to generate tie-in issues.  She's allegedly doing it to distract the heroes so she has time to go the God Quarry and discover why she can't see beyond the Quarry.  But, it seems a somewhat extreme remedy to that problem.  After all, if she's omnipotent and omniscient, couldn't she find an easier way to distract them?  Moreover, I don't get what Duggan is trying to say about the Soul Gem.  Loki mentions the Soul Gem is merely a door, so I guess that means "our" Universe is behind it.  But, if "our" Universe is essentially in the Soul Gem, what exists outside it?  It sounds like Devondra's hunger will eventually be sated, at which point the Soul Gem will be healed (for reasons that aren't clear to me) and a new reality will emerge (for reasons that aren't clear to me).  Moreover, it's hard to understand Gamora's motivation here.  Last issue, her soul was made whole, but for some reason she now wants to rebalance the Soul Gem.  Couldn't she just call it a day?  Or is she trying to prevent Devondra from successfully eating our Universe?  Duggan implies it's because she's gone insane with power, but he never actually makes that clear.  It's why this event feels so hollow, like you can see behind the set at a musical.  At the very least, I didn't get sucked into all the tie-in issues for this one.

Peter Parker:  The Spectacular Spider-Man #309:  This issue concludes one of the best two-and-done arcs I've ever read.  Zdarsky seemed to be gearing for a significant arc, with all the mysterious time-travel allusions last issue.  But, he wraps up everything neatly here.  We learn a Sandman from an alternate Universe took advantage of Spidey opening up that multiversal door while fighting the Vedomi to travel to "our" reality.  He seizes control of "our" Sandman to avoid the end of his Universe.  (In the process, we learn our Sandman's consciousness resides in one grain of sand.)  Our Sandman discovers that he can somehow transfer his powers to another person, so he empowers Spidey to fight the other Sandman.  (I'll admit this part makes the least sense, even if it's cool.)  This fight is tailor made for Chris Bachalo; it's one of the best fight scenes I've ever seen.  Spidey calls on Ben and Johnny for help, and Johnny arrives with the Multisect just in time to save him from the alternate Sandman.  When the dust (heh) settles, Sandman thanks Spidey for the save.  He's understandably disturbed to learn that he's not really human anymore and that he may very well live forever.  Is there a Zdarsky-penned "Sandman" title in our future?  Because I'd buy it.  Otherwise, I just continue to love this series and everything Zdarsky and now Bachalo are doing with it.  It reminds me of the best parts of "Brand New Day."

X-Men:  Blue #35:  Bunn does a great job here articulating what I've been feeling over the last few issues.  I'll admit it feels weirdly anti-climatic that he presents the kids as having decided to return to the past, as I can't really put my finger on the moment when they made that decision.  Bunn seems to argue they accepted the inevitability of their return and it's as good of a time as any, but we never really see them get to that epiphany.  Maybe it was Magneto's defection to the Dark Side (again) that made them realize they're tired of fighting a fight that isn't their fight.  At any rate, Bunn does a great job of showing how Bobby and Scott will suffer the most from returning home.  Bobby, Sr. tells Bobby, Jr. at least he'll get to come out of the closet on his own terms, as opposed to Jean outing him.  But, that's not really true, given Bobby, Jr. essentially outed Bobby, Sr.  But, Bobby, Jr. hits the nose on the head when he says he feels awesome now; he's not comforted by the idea he'll eventually be awesome.  Plus, Scott has to accept the fact that it really is suicide for him; it feels that way for everyone else, but they at least have an adult counterpart.  He will die.  But, Bunn doesn't dwell on that too much.  In fact, he has Hank specifically say it's Bobby who suffers the worse fate, because they really are destroying the people they've become and he's gone the farthest (even if it came form Jean's intervention).  If anything, I'm disappointed it's Brisson and not Bunn who'll wrap up the kids' story, but it is what it is, I guess.

Also Read:  Amazing Spider-Man #5; Darth Vader #21; Detective Comics #988; The Weatherman #4; Ms. Marvel #34

Not-Very-New Comics: The August 8 Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Amazing Spider-Man #3:  This issue makes not a lick of sense.  Don't get me wrong, it's fun.  In fact, it doesn't make sense in part because Spencer is trying to invoke the same sense of fun (and wackiness) that Stan Lee and Steve Ditko did:  Peter and Spider-Man are split into two separate people thanks to yet another accident involving the Isotope Genome Accelerator.  Suddenly, Peter sees the real possibility of living his life without the burden of being Spider-Man.  He won't have to feel guilty that he's not out there as Spider-Man, because Spider-Man will still be out there, fighting terrible evil like the...Tri-Sentinel.  On the downside, Peter discovers Spider-Man got his intellect and his powers, but not his sense of morality and responsibility.  Uh-oh.  Unfortunately, this premise gets a little...wobbly the more you think about it.  For example, the creative team shows Spider-Man only in costume, almost implying if you lifted up his mask his face would be blank.  It's just a little over the top, particularly as Peter doesn't seem anywhere near as worried about it as I think Peter probably would be.  I guess we'll see where Spencer goes from here.

Bloodshot Salvation #12:  I was tempted not to continue reading "Bloodshot" the last time Lemire seemed to give Ray a happy ending, but I’m happy I hung in here.  This issue isn’t perfect, as Lemire seems to be in a rush to hit his marks to get us to the finale.  For example, we never really confirm the identity of his 4002 A.D. doppelgänger or why Baron Samedi wanted the maintenance worker killed.  Moreover, Punk Mambo’s powers seem a little too conveniently strong here, as she essentially shuts down all of Omen’s systems to let Magic and the Bloodshots invade.  But, I’m willing to look past the plot holes because the excellent character beats remain the same.  Lemire never turns Ray into a full-fledged good guy; he murders the maintenance worker because he had to murder him.  Lemire makes it clear that Ray feels some guilt, but he doesn’t regret it, because he did it for his family.  Lemire also reminds us Magic has never been just a scared girl hiding in a hotel room; her childhood left her comfortable with mayhem and murder, making her a match for Bloodshot’s neutral-goodish outlook on life.  Their happiness at the end feels hard won, and it feels like a good time to exit this train with Lemire.  Good luck, Ray.  I’m sure you won’t need it.

Detective Comics #986:  Yup, I’m definitely canceling this series.  I’m not going to stand for Barbara Gordon getting treated like a rank amateur in favor of some C-list hero from Metropolis.  Firstable, she was right to question Jefferson's "plan."  His attempt to keep everyone from the fight likely would’ve resulted in the children dying, because Orphan wouldn’t have been on hand to save them.  Second, I’m also not exactly sure what Jefferson’s powers are.  He controls lightning...and explosions?  Whatever.  Then, Batman announces Black Lightning — a guy he barely knows — speaks for him.  He still can’t let Dick Grayson totally into his circle of trust, but this random guy from Metropolis is basically the new Alfred?  I’ll stay for James Robinson’s arc but then I’m done.

Fantastic Four #1:  Look, Dan Slott and I have been on a long, rough road, and I'm not saying I'm here for the long haul.  But, I've loved what Chip Zdarsky has been doing with "Marvel Two-in-One," so I'm definitely here for as long as it takes to tell the story of Reed and Sue's return.  However, as Skottie Young himself says in the Mr. Impossible short that ends the issue, I'm not quite sure what that timeframe is.  In "Marvel Two-in-One," Ben and Johnny are stranded, powerless, on an alternate Earth.  However, they're back on our Earth here.  Moreover, Victor has apparently lost his pretty face, which I don't think we've seen happen in "Marvel Two-in-One" yet.  It raises questions how Marvel could've timed these releases so poorly, particularly because they seem to have done so intentionally.  To make matters worse, Slott still struggles with conveying emotions here, despite Ben proposing to Alicia and Johnny tearfully accepting Reed and Sue's fate.  I can't exactly put my finger on the problem, but these emotions never feel organic.  It's like a dog trying to explain what they hear to us.  But, it is what it is.  I'm tired of complaining about him and he'd be tired of hearing about it if he knew who I was.  We'll see where we go from here.

Hunt for Wolverine:  Adamantium Agenda #4:  I initially bought this mini-series reluctantly, annoyed with Marvel for using the reunion of the New Avengers as part of its bloated “Hunt for Wolverine” “event.”  But, I can’t say I’m disappointed.  Not only was it great to see the team together again, but Taylor takes us some interesting places here.  First, his character work is excellent.  Tony recalls Wolverine beseeching him to see people before potential after Logan reveals he knew Tony created the superhero suicide-machine.  Logan accepts Tony’s explanation that he’d never use it, but stresses to Tony how its deployment nonetheless proves his point.  As such, Tony caves to Jessica and Peter ordering him to destroy Mister Sinister’s catalogue of the DNA of every living person.  However, he had initially started to decrypt the catalogue, and he learned two things along the way.  First, Laura Kinney isn’t a clone; she’s the actual daughter of Logan and Sarah Kinney.  (I don’t follow X-23 closely enough to get all the implications of that, but I get why it’s important.)  Second, one of the X-Men isn’t a mutant; s/he’s been genetically engineered to appear as one, possibly as a sleeper agent.  Given we don’t know who set loose Tony's suicide machine or invaded Sinister’s catalogue in the first place, Tony seems to be onto something.  This mini-series still doesn't really show us how Logan was resurrected, but that's almost besides the point.  Taylor told a self-contained story that raises some interesting questions for Logan and the X-Men down the line.  I'm not saying it's essential, but it's one of the better examples of the tie-in genre out there.

Oblivion Song #6:  Whoa.  I really didn’t see that one coming.  Kirkman reveals here that Nathan and his team of scientists were the ones who caused the Transference, after a device they built to explore an alternate dimension went haywire.  Nathan explains they built the device because they sensed energy on the other side of the field, but he tells Bridget the field shouldn’t have expanded the way it did.  He initially hypothesized it was because some energy on the other side amplified his device’s power, but he hasn’t seen any technology capable of that on the other side.  To make matters worse, he’s relaying this information in handcuffs, after the feds arrested him for building the device they found in the storage locker.  It's particularly bad timing, too, as he’s convinced his brother Ed to return with him to see what Earth is like.  As such, Ed is functionally stranded on Earth.  Underlining how no one is really having a good go of it, Benjamin appears at Bridget and Duncan’s doorstep when they’re already fighting about Nathan.  Shit’s getting real, folks.

X-Men:  Blue #33:  Yet another time-travel story, yet another unclear situation.  Magneto arrives in the future he's previously hinted he's seen and intuitively knows the devastation he sees there is his fault.  A Nightcrawler-looking child exposits that he assembled a Brotherhood of Mutants — Magic, Toad, Exodus, the Blob, Sabretooth, and someone I think is Unuscione based on her head gear — to stop the "Reaver virus" from destroying the world.  The Avengers and X-Men had been unable to stop the virus because it meant killing the hosts, and Nightcrawler, Jr. tells Magneto that he and the Brotherhood were the only ones willing to do so.  Before we learn more, an Iceman-less team of the original X-Men appears, less than thrilled to see Magneto.  It makes you wonder if Nightcrawler, Jr. isn’t skipping over some parts, since he seems to view Magneto as a hero.  This story ties into “Extermination,” so I wonder where we go from here.

Also Read:  Darth Vader #19; The Wild Storm:  Michael Cray #10