Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The May 8 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The One Hand #5:  We really go off the rails here, in the best possible way.

We pick up right where we left off last issue, with Ari talking to the One Hand killer through the wall.  He asks what the writing on the wall represents, and the killer says that it's a language.  Ari asks what it says, and the killer says that's what he's been doing — trying to find meaning.  Ari asks why he's been killing all these years, and the killer is adamant that he didn't kill his victims.  Ari asks if they're all cogs, and the killer again says he isn't a killer.  Ari asks what he is, and the killer responds that he's an archeologist, which is creepy as fuck.

In what seems like a parallel dimension on the other side of the wall — a cave of some sort — a woman addresses the killer as "Johannes" and says they have to go before Ari shoots through the wall.  Ari runs next door only to find a storage closet.  Mac then calls Ari to tell him that the lieutenant is coming with a response team and a warrant and Ari needs to run.  Mac tells Ari that he'll find him the usual way, and Ari bolts.

Ari then meets Helene for lunch, at her invitation.  (She got word to the precinct, and Mac passed on the message to him.)  Helene asks if Ari was looking for someone named Nemone and confesses she hasn't stopped thinking about her since the day he visited.  Even though she's never met anyone by that name, she tells Ari that she has the feeling of being haunted "by a memory that isn't real."  She then recounts a legend related to the Greek Titan Mnemosyne, the goddess of memory, from which the name Nemone derives.  Mnemosyne would give her priests the ability to see other people's memories, and Helene asks Ari if he believes memory can exist beyond our own lifetimes.

Helene tells Ari that Nemone would be happy to know that Ari didn't stop looking for her.  Ari then carefully asks Helene if she knows what she is, and Helene stands up, kisses Ari and then holds his chin as she says, "Ari..."  She then leaves, asking behind her, "Do you know what you are?"

At a safe house (or, more accurately, a safe apartment), someone (I think Juice from issue #2) gets Ari a clean gun as Mac arrives.  Mac tells Ari that he thought he'd finally gone around the bend when he asked whether the victim was a cog, but the coroner called him to the microscope because he found the killer's symbols in the blood or tissue sample he was examining.  Suddenly, the coroner's entire system then burst into flames.  Mac remembers that, when they were looking at the security footage at the hospital looking for Odell's murderer, it suddenly went glitchy, too.  Realizing someone is protecting the killer, Mac has the IT boys put together a path of camera outages, which leads to an apartment building.  Mac tells Ari that he's giving him a head start, but he's going to the lieutenant with it.

At the apartment building, Ari finds the woman from the art show, who tells Ari that she knows he's looking for the man with six fingers, whom she calls Johannes Vale.  The woman is nuts, but she tells Ari that Johannes' father went missing when he was young and he "still sees him every now and then."  We learn her name is Ada, and she tells Ari that Johannes went lookin for someone named Helene.  Ada tells Ari that he's "talking to someone now, detective...a voice only he can hear.  It sends him places...opens doors that don't exist."  

This story concludes next issue, which seems crazy.  I guess at this point, though, our only real question is whether we're dealing with someone or something supernatural, as Johannes seemed to create the pocket dimension behind the wall that Ari couldn't find.  I guess we'll see.

The Sacrificers #8:  Remender delivers another brutal issue that makes you want Pigeon just to raze this place to the ground.

It begins with a tired old man taking Pigeon on his wagon to the South End Trading Post, from where Pigeon'll head home.  The world is clearly collapsing around them, and Pigeon fights his anger over the way his family treated him as he makes his way from the Trading Post to his village.  There, he finds it completely destroyed, and we're reminded that he's really only there for Beatrice.  But he finds her destroyed doll in the wreckage, and you can see something break in him.

Later, Pigeon arrives in Noom's devastated village, and the townspeople come close to killing him, blaming him for their lot.  A guy who looks like the king appears, but he informs Pigeon that the king left for higher ground before the storm hit.  Pigeon loses consciousness, and later he's seated at a banquet table with the Fake King who serves him...chicken.  Asshole.  (Pigeon sticks to the vegetables.)  

The Fake King asks Pigeon about Paradise, and Pigeon tells him it was "hell, a factory of death."  The Fake King rages at him as a blasphemer, telling him that he can't believe a Sacrificer who abandoned his responsibility.  He accuses Pigeon of inventing the story to justify his failure; when Piegon mentions Noom, he blames her as well.  The Fake King mentions Piegon's people were destroyed, commenting, wickedly, "I would imagine your family amongst them."

The Fake King sees a glint of guilt in Pigeon's eyes at that comment and convinces him to sacrifice himself.  Clad in ceremonial gear, Fake King prepares to cut off Pigeon's head, but Pigeon grabs the axe before he can.  Furious, Pigeon tells the Fake King that Noom did sacrifice herself.  He says he'd understand if only his village perished, but the fact that Noom's village also perished makes no sense.  Stalking the Fake King, Pigeon tells him that he's tired of assholes like him telling him what his responsibility is when the collective never did anything for him.  In fact, this guy is only focused on making things better for himself.

Repeating something he said earlier, the Fake King tells Piegon that it isn't his job to question the gods but to serve them.  Pigeon then cuts off his head, telling his corpse, "Then that's what I'll do."  Team Pigeon, y'all.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #46:  Ugh, I don't know if I care enough to put in the effort necessary to understand the nuance of Pak's story here.  I mean, once you involve the Sith Eternal, you've pretty much lost me.

Anyway, we start with the sequel to the Darth Vader story in "Free Comic Book Day 2024:  Star Wars" #1 as Warba joins Sabé in her search for Luke Skywalker.  Warba claims that she wants to see Luke before Sabé and Vader do whatever they're planning on doing to him, but we know Warba is also serving Vader so who knows.

Meanwhile, Sly Moore sends Corleque to deliver a shipment to the Sith Eternal on Exegol, since they'll scan his mind and see that he hates Vader.  The teams passes through the Red Honeycomb Zone in a Kyberite-plated shuttle, which more or less protects them from the Summa-Verminoth.  (Pryde does see his death on Exegol.)

On Exegol, "Vader" engages the Sith Eternal and loses, which draws the other Sith Eternal to see his defeat.  However, it turns out the cargo that Corleque delivered has the real Vader and battle droids, who launch another attack.  We learn that Vader is there for the Kyber Temple, which he destroys for the kyber.  The attack somehow frees the M.A.R. Corps, but, before we can process that, the apparent leader of the Sith Eternal (or at least this contingent of them) hits a button that fires a beam from...somewhere?

The beam appears to come from the sky onto a large black monolith, particularly since Pryde gloats that Vader somehow deflected it from hitting them.  (They're all standing next to the monolith.)  But then Vader says they weren't aiming for them, and the beam seems instead to have come from the monolith to the sky, where it hits the Summa-Verminoth.  Why the Sith Eternal decided to do that now is beyond me, but I guess Pak'll tell us at some point.

Transformers #8:  I know it's ridiculous to say about a series revolving around sentient robots, but this issue is an emotional tour de force.

With Arcee along, Carly takes Spike to a lake at sunset, hoping some fresh air clears his head.  Spike admits that he doesn't feel anything, because the world has changed so much.  Carly shows the anger that we saw last issue, telling Spike that they now have "big metal warriors" to help them get revenge on the "ones who killed our dads!"  But Spike notes his father just disappeared, like his brother.

Cliffjumper arrives with some "colas" because he's learned that it's "the thing to do near bodies of water."  (Fair, Cliff.)  He offers one to Carly, who doesn't respond.  Spike encourages her to speak to Cliff, reminding her that he saved her from "Lazerbeam."  Carly tells Cliff that she isn't "not" talking to him but she's furious that he had the chance to stop Starscream after he murdered his friend (Cliff brokenly mutters, "Bumblebee," at this point) but didn't take it.  As such, she feels like she can't trust him.  Cliff sits with his head between his legs, in the most dejected (and human) way a robot can look, and Spike wordlessly put his hand on Cliff's arm.

On Cybertron, Elita is motoring with the body she's carrying.  The robot speaks, telling her that he's endured 150 years of torture, day and night, and begs Elita to kill him.  Elita tells him that she's sorry it took her so long to find him but, yes, if they "get taken" she'll end both their sparks.

On the U.S.S. Henry Harrison, Soundwave and Thundercracker land on deck.  Soundwave orders Thundercracker not to destroy the ship yet, and the sailors try to stop them.  Thundercracker grabs the captain who begs him not to kill him.  Thundercracker places him on the deck, telling him that he pities humanity's fragility and that they should all "be on [their] way."  

As the ship burns around them and they watch the liferafts drift into sea, Soundwave asks what Thundercracker is doing, and Thundercracker comments that the humans can't hurt them.  Soundwave says they can't have witnesses, and Thundercracker starts to object — but then Soundwave simply kills them.  It's brutal, you guys.  It's interesting how...noble Thundercracker has been.  Whereas Cliffjumper's pacifism comes from a place of exhaustion, Thundercracker has almost Optimus levels of compassion and conscientiousness.

We then move onto a pretty hilarious segment.  Optimus enters the Ark's main room as Wheeljack and Skywarp are trading insults.  Wheeljack confirms that he can't separate Skywarp from Teletran 1 until he gets more Cybertronian tech.  Optimus has Wheeljack replay the video for Skywarp of Starscream and Soundwave ripping him into pieces, but they're interrupted when Carly enters with a RPG (with the intent to kill Skywarp).   Optimus is like, "For fuck's safe, Carly," and Carly falters when he explains that they need Skywarp — even if he's the reason Spike got shot — to save the other Autobots.  Carly accidentally shoots the RPG, and Arcee hurls herself in front of the blast, saving Skywarp.  Suddenly, Skywarp fixes Wheeljack's legs, to his delight.  Optimus tries to talk to Carly, but she tells him that it isn't an "Optimus teaching moment."  Ha!  She asks if she's just supposed to "wait around and get squished," and, honestly?  It's a good point.  

Arcee follows Carly to her van, telling her it's "quite the vehicle."  Carly apologies for shooting Arcee and asks why Teletraan didn't fix her.  Arcee explains they're low on Energon, since the Decepticons used most of it on the Constructicons.  Carly asks why the Autobots don't act as badass as they are, and Arcee explains that they "were scattered and lost" before the war but Optimus brought them together to fight for peace.  Carly snidely comments, "easy for him to say," and Arcee cautions her that Optimus' losses "could fill a chasm."

On the seafloor, Soundwave explains that they sank the Harrison since it has the most advanced energy technology the humans have — nuclear power — and then orders the Constructions to unearth the Nemesis.

In the Ark (seriously, this issue has so much jammed into it), Jetfire awakens.  He's hazy, and Optimus tells him that he lost some of his spark.  Ratchet is there and expound that they could only bring back one form, his jet form.  Jetfire asks why Optimus didn't let him rest, and Optimus explains they need his help to travel the world (per his comment at the end of last issue).  Devastatingly, Jetfire asks if he's really just a husk to them, saying that he can't see anything, including the stars.  Optimus offers to leave, but Jetfire asks him to stay, since it's so dark.  Optimus sits next to him, and it's just so much, you guys.

Soundwave and company enter the Nemesis and hear pounding.  They're all surprised that the Transformer in the cell making the noise survived the crash.  Thundercracker is nervous, but Soundwave orders him to open the cell, since they need all the help they can get.  Suddenly, Astrotrain emerges like Jack Nicholson in "The Shining."  He demands to know where "he" is, throwing Thudnercracker into a wall when Soundwave says that they don't know.  He's just a total raving mess, and Soundwave swears when they find Megatron (aha!) Astrotrain is free to do whatever he wants with him.  But, for now, Soundwave has a mission.

At the Ark, Wheeljack notes the awakening of Cybertronian technology (i.e., the Nemesis), and Optimus calls the Autobots to action.  Optimus refuses to bring Carly with them, and Arcee asks if she can take on Carly as her Iron Apprentice.  Optimus says only two Cybertronians can have that relationship, but Arcee says she's willing to try if Carly is.  Arcee explains that it's a "sacred bond" between two beings, "one older and one younger."  It marks the beginning of a clan, and it's what she had with Ultra Magnus.  Although Carly doesn't formally agree, Optimus leaves Arcee and Carly to stay with Wheeljack to defend the Ark and watch over "young Spike."  Cliffjumper then takes control of Jetfire, and he, Jazz, Optimus, and Ratchet head to the Nemesis.

On the Nemesis, Soundwave tells Thundercracker that the goal of resurrecting it wasn't to fly it, but to use its antennae to call for reinforcements.  Enter Shockwave!

FCBD 2024! (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Flash Gordon #0:  Holy shit, this issue is great.  Conrad's Flash is sexy AF, as he's supposed to be, the Earther football jock unexpectedly leading the fight against Ming the Merciless.  Adams doesn't spend a lot of time on exposition, keeping us focused mostly on the action, so it helps if you have at least some have hazy memories of the 1980 movie.  That said, Adams' focus on the present and not the past makes the issue as exciting as it is.

Flash and the team are trying to hijack a shipment on Mongo (Ming's home world) only for Flash to die when some of Ming's troops open fire on them.  Ming is shocked Flash died so ingloriously.  After visiting the corpse to confirm Flash really is dead, Ming returns his focus on the Unraveled, a device one of his scientists created to destroy Earth.  (Creepily, the scientist reminds Ming of their deal, that he gets Ming's daughter Aura's hand in marriage.)  

Of course, it turns out Flash isn't dead.  Commenting to herself about the things she does for love, Aura climbs a tree and fires a DNA-seeking syringe into the palace.  The syringe finds Flash, awakening him from his "death."  Flash being Flash, he immediately leaps into battle with Ming.  

Expositing that the locals hate Ming enough to tell Flash about his plans for the Unraveled (hence the plan he and the team put into action), Flash fights to stop Ming from activating the device.  However, he's too late.  Ming informs Flash that — as the scientist helpfully exposited to us earlier — the Unraveled can't be stopped once activated.  Flash does the only thing he can, knocking over the Unraveled, which means it'll destroy Mongo instead!

In other words, it's pretty great.  So long as Adams keeps Flash charming and Conrad keeps him sexy, they're giving the people what they want.  But Adams really ups the ante as Flash is forced to choose genocide over letting Earth die.  If Adams somehow keeps the charm and sex appeal but also make it somehow more serious, like he does here, he'll have something special on his hands.

Free Comic Book Day:  Star Wars #1:  The best Star Wars stories to my mind involve characters who don't usually get center stage.  As such, I loved spending a few panels with the Storm Troopers "guarding" the abandoned Alliance base on Hoth as they complain that their lieutenant got them stationed there for his apparent role in the destruction of the Palpatine statue on Coruscant (from "Star Wars" #36).

Unfortunately (and not surprisingly), it doesn't turn out too well for them.  Chewie, Lando, Leia, and Luke return to Hoth after they get word that some Alliance troops failed to evacuate and come face-to-face with the Imperial detachment.  After the left-behind troops find the Rebels during the ensuing melee, the gang skedaddles, with the Imperials in "hot" (heh) pursuit.  (The lieutenant hopes capturing the Rebels is his ticket off the planet.)  Luke leads the gang to the cave where the Wampa attacked him, and they hilariously roast up the arm Luke amputated from the Wampa for food.  The next day, they discover that the lieutenant and his men crashed and froze in the storm.  Ah, Hoth.

The Darth Vader story is much more interesting, as Vader's time in the Martyrdom of Frozen Tears causes him to suffer a hallucination that reminds him that he has to find Luke.  (Did he really forget?)  Knowing that he can't approach Luke directly without causing him to bolt, Vader sends out Sabé.  She somehow knows to track down Warba Calip, the alleged mystic who trained Luke in "Star Wars (2015)" #69-75.  

Warba tells Sabé that she'll help her find Luke if she picks up a box at a nearby cantina.  Instead of getting the box, Sabé gets into a fight and helps an indentured servant escape his master.  (Of course she does.)  Telling Sabé that she isn't sure anyone ever passes tests, Warba tells Sabé to meet her the next day at dawn.  

The most interesting part, though, is that Warba returns to the cantina later to meet...Darth Vader!  He asks if Sabé failed the test, which Warba says she did.  Warba clicks open the box and pulls out some sort of tile with the Imperial emblem on it.  Vader tells her she passed the test as she kneels before him.  Dun-dun-DUN!

Gathcaman #0 FCBD:  Bunn doesn't do anything particularly revolutionary here, mostly just introducing us to the Super Science Team and their never-ending battle against Galactor, an organization whose motivation seems best described as "do evil."  Conversely, we learn the Team uses "secretive ninja techniques, fringe science, and bleeding edge technology" to save Earth.  But Batista and Lopez are really the show here, as they provide fantastic and kinetic fight sequences.  That said, Bunn ends with an intriguing hook, as Dr. Nambu, the Team's coordinator, is preparing a new Super Science Team for the day the current one fails.

The back-up stories are interesting enough, highlighting Ken's grit as he flies back to base while injured (and possibly discovering his "deceased" father isn't deceased) and Galactor chief Berg Katse's ruthlessness as he takes out a rival.  If anything, it's these two stories that really sell the concept for me, so I'll be back for "Gatchaman" #1.

Jonny Quest #0:  I've seen the rave reviews for this title, and I totally get why after this issue.

In 1964, the Sea Quest crew finds itself in an unexpected storm as Dr. Quest tests his new "quantum counter."  A bolt of lightning hits the ship, causing the counter to shed a trippy light.  The next morning, the crew finds calmer seas and heads home to a different Palm Key than the one they left a week ago.  They're not only surprised to a find insectoid security bot launching itself at them but the dilapidated remains of the Sea Quest itself!  Meanwhile, someone watches from a security camera, intoning that Dr. Quest isn't going to like the answer to what happened.  Dun-dun-DUN!  

Not only does Casey provide a propulsive script, but Piriz's action sequences are spectacular and Scaramella's colors really set the mood.  It's an A+ outing, and I'm stoked to jump on this bandwagon.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Free Comic Book Day 2024 #1:  This issue is more of a prelude to "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Nightwatcher" #1 than it is to the upcoming reboot that Jason Aaron is writing, though I'm not complaining. 

We're introduced to the Nightwatcher as we learn that a "mutagen bomb exploded in New York City" a year ago, turning a portion of the population into mutants or, as the narrator puts it, "what many consider to be something other."  It's unclear if the Nightwatcher is working alone, but he definitely sees himself as the mutants' defender as he stops some humans-dressed-as-mutants from robbing the mutants' vault.

The other story is a continuity-less one, a fun story about what Splinter does when he sends the boys on patrol because the father of four teenage boys just really needs a break sometimes.

All in all, it's good, FCBD fun.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The April 10 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Napalm Lullaby #2:  This issue is a lot better than the first one, so I'm happy to say I'm going to hang in here.  That said, Remender spends most of this issue laying breadcrumbs for paths whose ends we won't find for a while.

We begin with Sam telling Sarah that, when they defeat the Magnificent Leader, they should seriously consider her using her powers to re-create the world in their image.  (Sarah's powers are more clearly - if still vaguely - defined here as allowing her to dream things into reality.)  Sarah repeats aphorisms that Sam ascribes to their father, like "Reject all moral authority" and "Fear all moral authority.  Especially your own."  Sam makes the point that a new world order will happen whether they like it or not once they take down the Leader so why not make it one they want?

They arrive at home, which is essentially a museum of high and low culture:  Renaissance paintings and the Venus de Milo stand beside a C-3PO statue and Marilyn Monroe bust.  Sam and Sarah continue arguing, with Sam saying that people are too stupid to make up their own minds.  (Remender certainly wrote this series with the election in mind.)

Ordering Sam to make dinner, Sarah enters their father's study.  He immediately asks if she found any relics, and she simply responds that dinner'll be ready soon.  At the table, their father harps on Sarah about how she didn't find a relic, and, when Sam enters with dinner, he asks Sam if he found any relics.  When Sam says he didn't, their father asks what they we were doing all day.

They confess that they got three haloports to undertake the pilgrimage to the Crystal Temple and inform him that they're taking him with them.  Their father is outraged, but Sam says they know "she's" been in touch with him:  they found letters from inside the dome pleading with him to bring Sam and Sarah to her.  (I'm assuming it's their mother.)

But it's clearly not that simple.  Their father is obviously hiding them from the Leader, noting that they're the only ones (meaning, clearly, people with powers) that "the Janitor hasn't cleaned up yet."  He accuses Sarah of wanting to end the world, and Sarah shoots back that he's hiding in a mausoleum "preserving a dead world."  Sam takes up the cause, accusing their father of hiding.  He then uses his powers to set the room full of relics on fire, prompting a smack from their father.  Sam tells their father that saving the relics won't bring back the past and dares him to help them fix the future.

Later, Sam and Sarah talk on the rooftop, and it's clear the plan is to get Sarah inside the Palace so she use her powers (which is why it ups the difficulty given they only have one sedative pen).  Sam comments that they have to hope she doesn't have a nightmare this time, and Sarah says it won't be like when...something happened.  (I'm guessing it's when they lost their mother.)

The next day, they depart, and their father is with them.  They're all dressed in white robes, and he warns the kids to think only positive thoughts in the Citadel of the Devout, as it's swarming with the Sin Police who can read their intentions.  In this conversation, we learn their father previously lived inside the Citadel and the religion believes that the real Jesus is "an alien named Glokor."  (Hi, Scientology!)

At the gates, the guard scans Sam's face and haloport.  He realizes the haloports are for level-five clerics, which Sam and Sarah are too young to be.  Sam then uses his powers to convince them to let them into the Citadel.  Upon entering, I'll note that the images of the Leader look not totally unlike their father...

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #45:  This issue isn't terrible, though Pryde's annoyingly persistent devotion to Vader makes it clear that he's going to die ignominiously in Vader's service at some point.  

In this issue, Vader brings the Schism Imperial to Tython to raid the Martyrium of Frozen Tears, an enormous kyberite confessional the Jedi built.  Vader orders the Schism to strip the kyberite and use it to shield a ship, which'll clearly play a role in his plot against the Emperor.  But the interesting part is that Vader witnesses Luke's confession, where he wonders if he made a mistake not taking up Vader on his offer to rule the galaxy with him.  That's interesting, and I'm here for us exploring that.

Unfortunately, most of this issue is Pryde expressing disbelief that the rest of the Schism doesn't love Vader the way he does and the rest of the Schism telling him he's an idiot.  [Sigh.]  It is what it is.

Transformers #7:  "Transformers" is absolutely the best series on the stands right now.

On Cybertron, at an unspecified time, Elita-1 leads Huffer, Kup, and Warpath to a fortress where an unnamed Transformer is.  However, they're suddenly ambushed.  Kup questions Elita's plan to traverse a long expanse without cover while they're under active fire, but she brooks no dissent, as they have to make it to the fortress.

Kup orders Huffer to use his shield to cover them as they break for the fortress, but the shields eventually fail and, in a brutal scene where Corona really shines, Huffer gets blown to pieces.  (I should note here that Corona taking over the art is seamless.  I don't know how he mimicked Johnson's work so effectively, but I only realized it was a different artist when I looked at the credits page.)  Kup and Warpath return fire, and Warpath is also blown to bits.  Kup orders Elita to "Save him!" as a sniper blasts off the side of his face.  Elita kicks her way into the fortress to find a disassembled Transformer there.

On Earth, the Pentagon directs the U.S.S. Henry Harrison to Washington as Soundwave challenges Starscream for the leadership in the Decepticon's base, which appears to be inside a volcano.  Soundwave tells the assembled Decepticons that they should be conquerors, the "ones that enslave."  Instead, "barely functioning Autobots and their weakling humans" keep winning.  Rumble starts to say Megatron would make it right, and Starscream backhands him, telling him "Nobody wants to hear from the pipsqueaks."  Soundwave tells him that he's wrong, that they've all sacrificed for the goal of exterminating the Autobots.  But Starscream has failed as leader, and he has to surrender.

Starscream tries to stall, saying Soundwave is a traitor, but Thundercracker interrupts, saying that it's their way that he has to fight off the challenger.  Panicked, Starscream tries to stall again but Soundwave brutally attacks him.  Under onslaught, Starscream offers Soundwave a "co-leadership model," but Soundwave beats him to a pulp.  He ejects Laserbeak who — as Starscream screams, "That's cheatin--" — pecks out Starscream's eye.  Starscream offers to forgive Soundwave's betrayal but Soundwave grabs him and, saying, "You kicked my Ravage.", rips out his stomach and throws him into the lava.

This entire sequence is amazing.  Again, Johnson has the Transformers exhibit emotions in a way I've never seen before.  Thundercracker still seems emotional over Skywarp's death when he intervenes on Soundwave's behalf, and Soundwave's comment about Ravage is dripping with hatred.  Plus, Corona's art is spectacular.  He really conveys these emotions so well:  you can see the hatred driving Soundwave's attacks.  When we get to the battle's final panel, with Soundwave standing over the lava saying, "Good-bye, Starscream," it's an emotional release for all of us.

Holding the pieces he ripped from Starscream's stomach, Soundwave announces these pieces will heal Ravage.  But he pledges not to heal just his own (an interesting turn of phrase regarding his relationship to the cassettes) but to rebuild together.  Asking the Decepticons if they're with him, Thundercracker takes the lead in getting everyone to kneel and scream Soundwave's name.  Again, the art is great, particularly with a pleased looking Laserbeak sitting on Soundwave's shoulder.

At the Ark, Arcee observes Carly training with a rifle.  Carly delights when Arcee misjudges her gun's power and blows up Carly's targets.  Arcee says that Optimus calls her the best shot he's ever seen but she wishes she wasn't so good at it.  Carly says she should revel in it, that it'll help kill Starscream.  But Arcee cautions Carly to watch that the fire she sees inside her doesn't consume her.  It's clear Arcee is speaking from experience, but Carly dismisses her.

Arcee then tells Carly about her teacher, Ultra Magnus, who saved Arcee when her clan was killed during the Siege of Cybertron.  She was young, and he taught her everything she knows.  Alluding to events we haven't yet seen, Arcee says she wanted justice for her people, and Ultra Magnus died because of her "path of hate."  She warns Carly that it takes more than it heals, and Carly simply fires the rifle again and says, "Cool story."  (I'm guessing the robot Elita saves in the fortress is Ultra Magnus.)

In the Ark, Cliffjumper laments how furious Carly is at him for not killing Starscream, and Jazz tells him that Optimus is having the same problem.  We move to the hospital, where Spike is sitting in a wheelchair with Optimus, who asks him to talk to him.  Spike tells Optimus that it isn't his fault, he just needs time.  As they drive to the Ark, Ratchet reminds Optimus that it was Sparky's choice, and Optimus laments Spike losing his family so young as he suddenly has a memory of holding Spike as a baby.

At the Ark, Wheeljack tells Arcee, Cliffjumper, and Jazz that he accidentally revived part of Skywarp's neural cortex.  As such, Skywarp is locking out Wheeljack from the systems, so it's slowing down the repairs.  Wheeljack says that it's only part of Skywarp - "they fried him pretty good" - and Skywarp responds, "Eat.  My.  Vapor.  Auto.  Bast--.", and Wheeljack disconnects him.

Optimus and Ratchet arrive, and Optimus tells Wheeljack they need to find the Decepticons.  Wheeljack says they need someone to get them a "bird's-eye view," and Optimus says he has a plan, looking on the disassembled Autobots.

Again, this issue was just a joy from start to finish.  If you aren't reading this series, I feel sorry for you!

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The February 14 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Kill Your Darlings #6:  We get some answers here but, as usual, they only raise more questions.

In 1977, the Girl Who Wouldn't Burn watches her daughter play with her grandson, Alex.  Later, after murdering her daughter (we see the flesh on the right side of her face is missing), the Girl contemplates Alex's innocence and ponders letting her long life end, a life she clearly prolonged through her children's deaths (as we saw in issue #3).  She alludes that she did it to keep alive a legacy, but, before we can learn more, her dream ends when Rose's mother (whose name is Andrea, according to the intro) kills Alex, as seen last issue.

Shortly after Alex's death, the Girl summons the Great and Terrible Evil (I think) in the woods.  Other than a glimpse of Andrea at the crime scene, the ritual doesn't directly connect Evil to Andrea — in fact, Evil disappears once summoned.  (If you're wondering about the Latin the Girl uses, she tells her servant to ensure the "firstborn" — meaning Rose — suffers and dies.)  The Girl then returns to her house and dies on the porch.

In the present (such as it is), we see the now-abandoned, dilapidated house with the Girl's corpse still on the porch.  She awakens and heads to the video store, and we pick up the scene where we ended last issue.  The Girl is stunned at Evil's presence, and he informs her that he's able to do a lot more thanks to Rose.  The Girl reads Rose's mind and discovers that she's the Firstborn.  The Girl mutters, "And she's..." but then demands Evil take her "to it" before finishing the thought.  Evil agrees and opens a portal to Rosewood, warning her that it isn't as much fun as it was.

In Rosewood, Wallace wants to follow Rose into the portal but Spikes tries to convince him they need to rally forces.  The Girl and Evil arrive, and the Girl marvels at how lifelike the friends Rose manifested are.  The Girl kills Spikes, and Wallace attacks, only for Evil to backhand him.  The Girl stops him from attacking Wallace further, telling Evil that he'll have his blood in time.  Wallace escapes back to the Refuge where he tells them that Spikes is dead (we see his widow grieve).  Meanwhile, Evil drags Rose's body towards a dilapidated Castle Greyskull-style building.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #43:  This issue's impact depends on remembering minutiae of previous issues.  You need to remember who Corleque is (because he apparently survived the assault on the Executor that his former mentor, Admiral Piett, launched when the Scourge invaded in issue #38), why exactly the Emperor thought Governor Tauntaza colluding with Crimson Dawn (in issue #27) would expose Vader, or how the men Vader "saved" the last time he was on this planet were connected to the energy-draining device (in issue #24) that Administrator Moore and Vader seize here.  

I'm sure I'm missing more — I don't even mention Agent Fabarian or Council Member Santo, who Moore "interviews" here — but tracking down all the references is beside the point.  All these characters, save Moore, are only here as NPCs for whatever new scheme Vader has to undermine the Emperor.  If Pak put some effort into making these characters memorable, maybe I'd care, but he doesn't so I don't.  Oof.

Transformers #5:  This issue is fucking awesome.

We begin with Sparky and Optimus recalling their times at war, Sparky in Korea (I think) and Optimus in the present.  Johnson gives us a panel of Sparky in one position and then Optimus in the same position in the next panel, emphasizing their experiences' similarities.

In the present, Optimus asks Sparky, "How long was your war?"  (Of note, the two of them appears to be in some sort of garret that also contains antiquated communications equipment.)  Sparky replies, "Just one tour.  It was enough."  He asks Optimus how long his war was, and Optimus poignantly responds, "Years.  Years and years and years.  I've lost count.  It's still going."  Just as poignantly, Sparky notes how much more experienced Optimus is at war than he is and asks whether he understands why it has to be this way.  A sad Optimus tells him that he asks himself the same question every day.

On the Ark, I didn't notice initially that, when Soundwave alludes to Skywarp's "sacrifice," his (Skywarp's) head and torso are part of the Ark itself.  Soundwave decides to resurrect Ravage first, but Starscream (hilariously) punts Ravage's body and instead resurrects Thundercracker, who quietly asks Skywarp's lifeless head and torso, "What evil Autobot did this to you?"  (It's another moment of the Decepticons - or, at least, the Seekers - treating each other with affection.)  Starscream lies and tells Thundercracker that Skywarp sacrificed himself for the common good.  

Before they can continue, Soundwave announces that Laserbeak reports the Autobots found their source of energy.  Frenzy declares they need to stop them, and Starscream seems surprised to see him and Reflector, as if Teletraan-1 resurrected them without his approval.  Reflector begins to ask Starscream where Megatron is, and Starscream ignores the question, instead telling them all to rally against the Autobots, who they can eliminate for good.  (Johnson really kills it with the image of them all transforming as they leave for the dam.)

At the dam, Ratchet is wowed by Sparky's idea to place a generator right next to the dam, given that it's the water that creates the power (and not the plant at the dam's base that the "Decepti-whatevers" destroyed in issue #2).  Ratchet has resurrected Wheeljack to help Sparky address their power issue, though Wheeljack's lower half is basically like the old Ironhide and Ratchet design, which prompts some complaining on Wheeljack's part.  But he's impressed by Sparky's design and uses Cybertronian knowledge to refine it, enabling the turbine to power the town for at least a decade.

Cliffjumper has the honor of flipping on the switch, and Wheeljack calls for Optimus to get him (Optimus) fixed.  Instead, in another fantastic scene, Optimus carries Arcee's body, telling them they need their warriors.  Ratchet enthusiastically greets Arcee; As she greets him, she sees the Seekers behind him and saves him from Thundercracker's rocket.  (Ratchet comments on Arcee saving his life upon first waking, and she quips, "I see not much has changed.")  Funnily enough, Thundercrack screams, "Justice for Skywarp!!!"

As Optimus and Sparky open fire on the Decepticons, Arcee and Ratchet drag Jazz to the turbine.  Starscream ejects Reflector, who screams, "Prepare yourself for ISO, Autobots!!"  As he's defining it ("Instant Suffering and Oblitera--"), he sees Optimus with Megatron's cannon and whispers, "Oh dear --," right before Optimus destroys him.  An upset Frenzy launches himself at Optimus, who grabs his leg and slams him into the ground.

Carly's found a gun and opens fire at Thundercracker, despite Cliffjumper warning her to be careful.  Cliffjumper strikes the dam and Carly falls, prompting Prime to scream her name.  Arcee then transforms and speeds up the dam to catch Carly in a fucking kick-ass scene, telling Carly that she's important to her if she's important to Optimus.  (I loved the writing on this issue, but Johnson's art is somehow even better.)  Rumble sneaks behind Cliffjumper only for Jazz to take him down before he can pounce.

Then, it's time for Optimus vs. Starscream.  Somewhat oddly, to be honest, Starscream accuses Optimus of using "something so precious" (Megatron's cannon) for his "own evil purpose!"  (It's the second time the Decepticons refer to the Autobots as evil, and I'd love to hear their pitch about why they're the good guys.  I'm also guessing Megatron's cannon isn't "precious" to Starscream because Megatron owned it.)  Optimus asks if Starscream isn't quaking in his jets at seeing a reminder of who he'll never be, and Starscream manages to take out the turbine before Optimus blasts a hole in him.  

The Decepticons retreat, and Optimus realizes that they finally have enough Autobots to take back the Ark.  Before they can leave, Carly demands to go with them, and Sparky refuses, saying she's too precious after what happened to Spike.  Carly then poignantly says, "Then so what?  Spike's in a coma.  My family's gone.  I deserves to see this end, Sparky."  Carly is distraught, until Cliffjumper grabs her, telling her that she's right, she gets to be there when they stop the Decepticons for good.

As they approach the Ark, Sparky sees it for the first time, remembering his son, Jimmy.  Suddenly, Long Haul rams into Optimus, Scavenger cuts off Ratchet's leg, and Scrapper pushes back Arcee and Jazz.  Starscream appears and gloats that he knew Optimus would follow him.  He tells them that Teletraan 1 has already fixed him and introduces his "new toys!":  the Constructicons.  (We seem to be sticking to the Constructicons' original cartoon origin, where the Decepticons created them on Earth.)  At this point, Starscream calls out the famous phrase:  "Constructicons!  Merge into...Devastator!"  

In other works, fuck, yeah, y'all.

Seven-Month-Old Comics!: The January 3 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Hunger and the Dusk #5:  This issue is the best in a series where every issue so far has been a gem.

First things first, I realize the question propelling this series is:  What if the elven lands beyond the sea were a nightmare?  Many fantasy worlds have such lands - Everett in "Forgotten Realms" and the Undying Lands in "Lord of the Rings," for example - and Willow is turning their usual portrayals as havens on their heads.

We get the first hint of the problem when the Vangols' leader tells Mikil that "Vangol" means "Sky-Dweller" in the old tongue.  The Vangols believed they were taller than the other races because they used to walk among the clouds.  One day, they decided to cross the sea to find the stars that lay beyond them, only to discover "doom," a doom so terrible, the leader tells Mikhil, "that all your mighty history will shrink, and your wars with the orkren will seem like the squabbles of children over toys."  The gang is staring down the barrel of trouble, in other words.

Based on recent observations, the leader realizes Cal is sentimental and orders his people to bring Mikil above ground as bait for the Last Men.  True to form, Cal is leading the Last Men after Mikil, despite Tara insisting that Mikil wouldn't want him to risk so many lives for his own life.  As Tara warned, the Vangols attack.  Cal orders the Last Men to push the Vangols towards the water.  Tara tells him that they can't survive an advance like that, but Cal is undeterred.  The Vangols' leader emerges and takes on Cal, who only survives because Tara is able to use some sort of sorcery to hurt him and force the Vangols' retreat.

Cal is thrilled at the success, but Tara is irate that Cal risked their lives unnecessarily.  Later that night, a sexy AF Cal bathes in a stream as Tara tells him that she's healed Mikil but he, like everyone else, needs rest.  Instead, Cal wants them to travel to higher ground since they're vulnerable in the grasslands.  Tara laments that they don't fight the orcish way, and Cal tells her they can't, because their society has been collapsing for 100 years.  (Interestingly, they don't even remember the name of their gods, if they had any.)  Cal asserts that humanity has managed to keep the orcs at bay, and Tara quips that "at bay" means attacking "innocent herdsmen."  Cal retorts that those "herdsmen" raze farms for grazing lands.  It's...tense.

Annoyed, Tara decides to leave, and Cal apologizes for getting angry, which shows a lot of understanding on his part given she was the one to start the fight.  Tara is packing her bags while asserting the treaty was doomed to fail, and Cal again tries to get her to stay.  When she refuses, he insists on going with her to return to her family, since he gave his pledge to Overlord Troth.  But Tara flips, saying that she's the daughter of an overlord and he's just the "bastard son of some illiterate raider."  Cal looks physically wounded and Tara horrified.  She tries to apologize, but he lets her go.  Sev is devastated, since Tara was the best (if not one only) chance for peace, and Cal laments that someone else will have to try to make the treaty work because he failed.

In other words, Willow doesn't just fill in some blanks spaces in her world-building here but also delivers an issue with serious emotional heft.  You feel Cal's helplessness that he can't make the alliance work, both politically with the orcs and likely romantically with Tara, and Tara's impatience when the differences between the humans and the orcs seem insurmountable.  Again, this series is one of the best on the shelves.

The Space Between #3:  Oof, this issue hits in the feels.  Beckho rights the ship (heh) here by breaking the repetition we saw last issue.  Instead of telling the story of two people coming together to change the Dodona, she focuses on the consequences of some of these actions.

Ten years after "the Tumult," the Dodona is off course.  The issue opens with Juni, one of Pari's protégés, committing suicide by opening his mask in space.  After Pari retrieves Juni's body, he meets Bee with his new protégé, Eden, at a park.  They discuss how Juni knew about the Dodona's fate since he was a pilot and lost hope.  Even optimistic Pari concedes that he and Bee passed on their reproduction token the previous year given the possibility they'll never reach their destination.  As they sit, a creepy guy named Rue appears, and his intense interest in Eden disturbs her — she asks Bea and Pari not to leave her alone with him.

Later, Eden and Pari review the situation, and Pari laments the Council isn't focused on the problem since they're too busy (understandably) keeping on the air and water (barely) after the sabotage during the Tumult.  Apparently, the pilots only discovered the problem when they realized the star around which New Home orbits was moving.  As they're talking, Rue makes the situation worse when he 'casts the situation to everyone on the ship, destroying what remained of morale.

Realizing they have little choice but to go around the reluctant Council, Bee, Eden, and Pari use Bee's legacy access to the archives to go through the Dodona's schematics.  It turns out that "an airlock without a real lock" exists in the zoological repository.  To correct the Dodona's course manually, someone will need to open the lock and perform an unauthorized space walk, though it will likely kill the species in the enclosure where the airlock is located.

Bee and Pari make one more appeal to the Council, which dismisses Pari's concerns given they have over 100 years before they're supposed to reach New Home.  Pari stresses they don't have 100 years to fix the problem, but the Council isn't hearing it.  Pari storms from the meeting and tells Bee that he plans on taking the one-way walk to fix the problem that he believes he caused.  Eden arrives and says that she's the one who's going to open the thruster, since Rue apparently made the announcement to get her attention.  Thankfully, Bee tells them that they're both idiots for thinking that they're to blame.

Two days later, when Bee wonders if she can breed humans who can live in marginal environments so someone doesn't have to do the walk, Eden tells her they only have 12 hours to correct the Dodona's course.  Bee agrees to help, and she and Eden meet Pari at the repository.  Rue appears as well because he's now stalking Eden, and they all make their way past the animals.  (We learn the Council kept the repository quiet because they'd eliminate the animals first if they had to do so.  Also, hilariously, no one knows how the house cats escaped.)

The Council put the most dangerous species, to its mind, in the airlock:  the flying squirrels.  (They were — not unreasonably — concerned about its reproductive rates.)  Bee and Pari enter the enclosure to remove the squirrels so they don't die when they open the airlock, but an insane Rue puts on Pari's suit and heads out the airlock.  Pari manages to close it behind him, and Eden decides to go after Rue.  Bee and Pari try to catch the squirrels who escaped the enclosure, to no avail, but eventually feel the Dodona correct its course.  Eden returns and confirms Rue died once he opened the thruster to move it.  She's devastated, worrying that she let him commit suicide because he frightened her.  Again, Bee isn't having it, saying he chose to do it.  

Later, the Council treats his death as a suicide, and, based on Eden's comment that the ship needing a hero and not needing to know they had Rue instead, it seems like the Dodona residents know that he corrected their course.  Of course, as Pari said, the sensors still aren't working, so they don't know for sure if they're on the right  course.

Beckho takes an interesting turn here as we start seeing the ship's residents struggle with their mission as they get closer and closer to New Home.  I wonder how she's going to wrap up the story with just one more issue, but she certainly amps up the tension here.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #42:  This issue is odd, as Pak focuses on two different stories that seem to have nothing to do with each other.  

On one hand, Vader successfully confronts the Machine-Augmened Rebels, or M.A.R., Corps, and implants the Imperial droid processors in them.  Pak does little to make the Corps interesting, barely giving us their names, so it's hard to feel too badly for them.  

Meanwhile, the Emperor is displeased with Grand Vizier Mas Amedda's performance, given he failed to take out a weakened Vader, and moves his favor to now-Administrator (and no longer Sub-Administrator) Moore.  Moore visits Vader in Mustafar as he tries to improve upon the now-captive Corps.  She offers him the Schism Imperial's services, telling him the right mid-level bureaucrat in the right place can help him.  That said, I'm still not really sure what the Schism's goals are, other than seemingly taking out the Emperor.

Honestly, I feel like Pak is really wearing out this idea that Vader is in rebellion against the Emperor and that the Emperor wants him dead, since I really don't have a good sense of either Sith's motives.  Everyone else keeps making these observations but they themselves don't.  I'm guessing it's a certain level of strategic ambiguity but we'll see.

Seven-Month-Old Comics: The December 27 Top-Shelf Edition - Part Two (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars:  Dark Droids #5:  First, I just realized that the hybroid I didn't recognize is Tolvan, who I admit is one of the few characters I miss from "Doctor Aphra."

Soule wraps up things fairly neatly here, as Ajax kills the Scourge just as he manages to take over organics.  I *think* he's able to take over all organics when he takes over Luke and thus gains access to the Force for the first time.  (I guess Vader never let him access it when they merged in "Star Wars:  Darth Vader" #40?)  The Scourge is contemplating becoming the new Force by now taking over non-sentient creatures when Ajax stabs him.

With the Scourge gone, Ajax invites the new D-Squad to join him at the Second Revelation, though they all demur.  Disturbingly, he re-activates the Spark Eternal and revises his revelations:  the third revelation becomes about "them" and the fourth one is now "all."  I still don't totally understand the Spark Eternal business, but it seems like Ajax is going to become the threat that Triple Zero warns him not to become when they parted.

Overall, "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" was an OK event.  I still feel like Soule could've done a better job giving us more information about the intelligence that became the Scourge, particularly since he once again makes it clear here that he and the Spark Eternal are two separate entities.  Ajax only seems to resurrect the Spark Eternal, so is the Scourge - or, at least, the intelligence that joined the Spark Eternal to become the Scourge - truly dead?  If I understood more about his nature, I think I'd have a better grasp on that.

Honestly, I think it's getting to the point where we need to end this interlude between "Star Wars:  The Empire Strikes Back" and "Star Wars:  Return of the Jedi" and plunge into the unknown.  Between this event and the much less enjoyable "Star Wars:  Hidden Empire," it's feel like we're spinning our wheels.

Star Wars #41:  They're not kidding when they say you should read "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" #5 first!

The first few pages more or less mirror what we saw in that issue, as Chewie, Lando, Leia, and Luke fight off the Scourge's minions.  Once the possession ends (after Ajax kills the Scourge), Lando finds Lobot, whose condition has deteriorated.  Leia and Luke stay to help all the humans suddenly freed from the Scourge's control, and Lando has Chewie carry Lobot to the Falcon.  He asks Chewie to keep secret what he's going to show him until after Lobot is healed and then reveals the Talky.

But Lando's plan goes screwy when Leia and Luke arrive, informing him that the authorities had everything under control.  (Heh.  You almost never see that in comics, and I laughed out loud.  "We're good, heroes, thanks!")  The Talky refuses to heal Lobot until he's sure Lando really does care about him (since, if he does, he'd keep the Talky alive in case Lobot falls ill again).  To prove his connection to Lobot, Lando confesses everything to Chewie, Leia, and Luke.  

But he does so after he tries a different story.  He stops himself and tells the truth:  he agreed to spy on the Alliance to save himself from Jabba and, because he never actually passed along information, he sent Jabba the Talky as a way to save himself again.  But Lando goes one step further, confessing that he stayed with the Alliance to build up the trust he needed them to have in him so that he could take the Falcon and retrieve the Talky.

The gambit works, and the Talky fixes Lobot, who's capable of speech again.  It's pretty unbelievable.  Lando admits to Lobot that he decided to try out the new Lando that he's just getting to know.  Of course, he might not get a chance, since Leia arrives with guards to arrest him, announcing the penalty of treason is death!

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #41:  Like all the best cross-over issues, Pak uses the event to tease out truths about Vader here and advance the series' existing plot.  

First things first, Vader doesn't surrender himself to the Scourge:  he captures the Scourge's consciousness within a closed-loop system in his suit, studying him so he can replicate his ability to control droids.  (It's why, as mentioned above, the Scourge didn't get access to the Force until he possessed Luke in "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" #5.)  When an Imperial unit arrives to take in Vader (Ha!) for attempting to assassinate the Emperor, Vader uses this control to see through his droids' eyes and use the Force on anyone in his now-expanded visual range.

But the Scourge is right that Vader can't process nearly the number of consciousnesses that he (the Scourge) can, and Vader struggles under the weight of this control.  Vader takes out the droids attacking him, and the Scourge presumably dies in "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" #5 before he can send more after him.  The issue ends with the revelation of the "Schism Imperial," a trio of three Imperial officials, including the Umbaran, who clearly seek to overthrow Palpatine.

As I said, it was fun to see Vader pull a fast one on the Scourge, a reminder of his resourcefulness that we haven't seen here lately.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The November 8 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #40:  Enh.  I don't really understand where Pak is going here.  

Vader arrives on Coruscant to confront the Emperor, who asks Vader how he asserted control over the Force Wave.  Vader responds that hate was the key.  The Emperor asks why it's different than before, when his hate made him powerful but reckless.  Vader responds that he's learn how to focus it.  It's a mystery to me how the events of the last few issues resulted in Vader controlling his hate better, like some much else in this series, but it is what it is.

The Emperor orders Vader's own Death Troopers to attack, underscoring that, even though Vader hand-picked them, they're loyal to the Emperor before him.  He asks Vader if he controls his hate or if his hate controls him and, OMFG, if I were a Sith, I'd kill anyone who asked me such a pedantic question.  As they fight, the Emperor asks if he'll really continue this rebellion against him while the Droid Plague infects his Death Troopers (via the disc droids he brought with him).  

This entire exchange is odd.  After all, I don't recall ever seeing the Death Troopers previously, so the idea that Vader would give up his (alleged) rebellion against the Emperor for their safety seems absurd.  But also:  since when is Vader in open rebellion against the Emperor?  I thought this whole exercise was the Emperor just testing to make sure he was strong, as usual.  Aren't Sith supposed to struggle against each other?

Meanwhile, the disc droids expand the Plague beyond the Death Troopers, and the Emperor is forced to destroy Sectors 35 and 36 of Coruscant to stop its spread.  The Emperor then says that, the more than Vader or anyone else hates him, the stronger he becomes.  Um, sure, Palpy.  I get, rhetorically, that Palpatine thrives off conflict. But for some one who manufactured a rebellion against his own government to seize control of it, you'd think he'd have the strategic mind necessary to understand too much hate is sometimes problem. 

To that point, Vader departs.  In Vader's...office, for lack of a better term, the Scourge tells him that he needs him, and Vader agrees:  the two merge.  As I said, too much hate is sometimes problem.

Transformers #2:  Damn, Johnson isn't fucking around here.

The issue begins with Optimus marveling at Earth's natural beauty and accidentally stomping a deer.  Johnson uses it as Optimus' introduction to the fragility of Earth's lifeforms; in a stark comparison, Optimus is grief-stricken over his actions while Starscream takes to referring to humans as "squishies" later in the issue.  Spike assures Optimus it was an accident, but Optimus isn't letting himself off the hook that quickly.  

Optimus then exposits that the Autobots fled Cybertron after the Decepticons pushed them to the brink of extinction.  Cliffjumper interrupts their conversation, revealing that Ratchet got him operational.  In the Ark, Ratchet explains that he needs more energon if he's going to activate any other Autobot.

At the power plant, Starscream returns with Soundwave and Skywarp, and Soundwave has Rumble begin constructing an energy transfer model.  The Air Force dispatches a pilot codenamed Frosting to check out the disturbance, and Frosting apologizes to his passenger for delaying his ride to the airbase.  Soundwave overhears the radio chatter, and Starscream engages the plane.  The pair manage to eject, though Starscream graphically crushes Frosting like a bug.  The passenger ditches his parachute and activates a jetpack; he manages to take out Starscream's eye, prompting him to bail.  We get a look at the passenger's uniform with the name "Duke" prominently displayed.  Boom!  Meanwhile, at the plant, Frosting's abandoned jet dramatically crashes.

Back at the Ark, the Autobots, Spike, and Carly notice the smoke from the plant.  Optimus orders Cliffjumper to stand guard over the remaining Autobots, and Spike convinces Optimus to take him with him to the plant.  Carly tries to convince Spike how insane that is, but, after she fails, she decides to find her parents.  Meanwhile, Sparkplug arrives at home and gets out his camouflage and gun, which we learn when Carly arrives home.  (I'm actually not sure if Carly went to Spike's house first for some reason or if Sparkplug went to Carly's house.)  Looking insane, Sparklug tells Carly Starscream killed her dad, who we learn was Davey.

All in all, it remains a solid start.  The Duke connection is solid, particularly since it makes sense the Army will eventually dispatch the G.I. Joe squad to address such a threat.  That said, Johnson does a great job of showing what impossible odds they'll face given the Transformers' overwhelming indestructibility and size.

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The October 4 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

The Sacrificers #3:  Ho boy.  This issue confirms this story goes where we all probably suspected it was going, as the first group of children make their sacrifice.

In the land of the gods (or whatever they are), Soluna narrates their arrivals at the Harvest Gala, which happens every 20 years.  She refers to them as the lords of "every municipality," though her descriptions evoke god-like portfolios, such as Kronious' position as lord of labor and gears or Mithera's as paramour of climate.  Soluna notes she'll enter this world one day but swears to her hog-like companion Doto that she won't become one of them.

A trill of excitement falls over the Gala as Queen Luna, master of the tides, arrives.    (She looks like Cassandra Nova if she were made of water.)  Soluna is joyfully surprised Luna came, and Luna engages in barbs with Xia as she crosses the room

In the daycare center-like room we saw at the end of issue #2, the Sacrificers enjoy a puppet show and games, and Noom introduces Pigeon to tag.  Later, Pigeon confesses to Noom that he's waiting for the other shoe to drop, and she encourages him to "never waste what precious time we have predicting the wreckage of the future."  Fair point, Noom.

Suddenly, a troop of Oompa Loompa-esque men whisk away several children for the first "feast."  Noom is one of the ones these hype men choose (as is Blond), and she encourages Pigeon to work on his faith so they'll choose him next time.  The men lead the chosen Sacrificers into a colorful salon with '50s-esque hair dryers.  I'll admit I became instantly worried, a feeling the hope on Blond's face only exacerbated.

The "beauticians" work on the children until flipping a switch, at which point the "hair dryers" suck the life from them.  For some reason, no one switched on Noom's, so she panics when she sees the husks next to her.  They force her into a chair to die like the others, and one of the beauticians laments that Noom's terror means they'll only get fear from her.  Looking at a tube, she comments that she knows" someone who adores the stuff."

The beauticians then pull levers that drop the kids' bodies into grates below the floor. Meanwhile, their energy is literally distilled into a blue liquid the gods drink at the Gala as they exclaim they ask only for the one small sacrifice so everyone (else) can live "in return for life on a perfect world."

Remender, man.

Star Wars:  Bounty Hunters #39:  Poor Kligson.  It must be hard to be messianic and an idiot.

Three days ago, Kligson reveals to a still-sentient Telemark that he threw in his lot with the Scourge and invited "the contagion," as Telemark calls it, to the station.  Kligson informs Telemark that Ajax returned weeks ago but left without knowing his followers were still alive, thanks to Kligson erasing the data logs.  (He's definitely an asshole, you guys.)  Telemark reminds Kligson that they saved him, and Kligson rages that they left him a cyborg, neither droid nor human.  He rips off Telemark's head, explaining why the Telemark is so...spacey.

Yesterday, on the Enigma Catalyst, Valance tells T'onga to kill him if Kligson can't restore his memories, and T'onga reluctantly agrees.

Today, T'onga looks in horror at the empty vessel into which Kligson turned Valance.  Bossk comments that Valance might've been a sleemo, but he was their sleemo.  (Heh.)  Before Valance can attack T'onga, Zuckuss saves her.  Bossk takes on Valance as Kligson exposits that he's turned Valance into the perfect empty vessel for the Scourge.  (I wonder if the Scourge gave up trying to convert Vader.  The editor's note references "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" #3, which came out October 11, so maybe.)  In return, Kligson expects the Scourge to turn him into a machine.  Meanwhile, Deathstick takes on Valance after Bossk and then it's Durge's turn.  

On Kirkeide Station, Losha's boss, Syphacc, tells her to register a new bounty hunter looking for work as he tries to fix the various problems that his droid bounty hunters have caused his clients.  Of course, said bounty hunter is Vulkorah, who's surrounded herself with tooka cats, including one she calls Furball Two.  (Oof, Vulkroah.  Sacks seems to change her personality with each arc, but this iteration - the carefree bounty hunter looking to make friends - feels too far removed from the brutal striver we originally met.)  

Losha is obviously pissed, and Vulkorah hands Losha her gun and invited Losha to killl her as revenge for the Furball's loss.  (Again, this part doesn't feel believable at all.  The Vulkorah we've seen hasn't sacrificed all she has just to let someone shoot her.)  But their discussion gets interrupted when possessed droids grab Syphacc, who's a hybroid.  Losha and Vulkorah manage to save him, but Losha realizes that, if the droids are after cyborgs, T'onga and the crew are in trouble.

Meanwhile, at the Haven, T'onga and the crew are definitely in trouble as they're now fighting off the Scourge-possessed droids.  Kligson bids farewell to the Haven as the droids load Valance onto a shuttle, but the Scourge informs him that he's not coming, because he's too human.  Durge then crushes his head and hilariously wipes the blood on Zuckuss' robe.  Ha!  Good riddance.

Devastated, T'onga pledges to go after Valance, though Khel is pissed, asking how many people have to die to save Valance.  T'onga tells her that they're done trying to save him:  they have to kill him.  Oof.  T'onga gets the short end of every stick.

Star Wars:  Darth Vader #39:  This issue is excellent.  Pak uses the "Star Wars:  Dark Droids" event to tease out an unexpected truth about Vader.

On Mustafar, Arex, Gee-Ninety, and Ought-Six are looking for Zed.  Arex warns Vader that Zed may've fallen to the Scourge, and "Zed" arrives and confirms the Scourge possesses him.  "Zed" then unleashes an enormous octuptarra droid on Vader, which "Zed" exposits is (conveniently) immune to Vader's staff's bolts and (somehow) the kyberite shield's blasts.  (Sure, OK.)  The Scourge then notes Vader could dismantle the octuptarra piece by piece if he had control over his powers, which he clearly doesn't.  We're then treated to the rare spectacle of Vader getting his ass handed to him.

Arex leaps to Vader's defense, attacking "Zed," who takes him down quickly.  "Zed" exposits that he can't control Arex because he used all his resources on the octuptarra, but he'll consume him and the other droids once his fleet arrives and expands his operating capabilities.  Arex goes after "Zed" again, and the Scourge scans his mind, learning the Jedi phrase, "Hate leads to suffering."  Vader emerges from his battle and corrects it to the Sith version, "Hate leads to power."  The Scourge comments that Vader is so full of hate and "so lacking in power."  OMFG, can you believe anyone spoke to Vader that way?  Like, I was nervous for the Scourge!

Figuring more hate means more power, Arex and Gee-Ninety attack Vader (Ought-Six wisely sits out that round).  Realizing Vader is just returning their fire, Arex beseeches Vader to think about who he really hates.  I was honestly kind of awed by the way Pak presented this sequence of flashback leading here:  hating himself the most, Vader ditches the staff and shield and uses his powers directly to take out the octuptarra.  

Misunderstanding, the Scourge gloats that Vader hates him (the Scourge) the most.  Arex tells the Scourge that he's nothing and the Force is everything.  After destroying "Zed's" body, Vader destroy's Arex's, committing, "No, droid.  I am everything."

But it isn't over.  Vader gets into his bacta tank and communicates with the Emperor, who comments that he finally dug enough to find himself, "the person you hate the most."  In a surprise twist, though, Vader says that he looked deeper, and the Emperor laughs, realizing Vader means him, and comments, laughing, "Ah.  Then I will see you soon."

Seriously, it's a great fucking issue, one of the series' best.  After the long nightmare of the Sabé arc, it's marvelous to experience this sort of issue that channels Vader's unstoppable determination and energy.

Transformers #1:  Y'all, this series is *not* your father's (i.e, my) Transformers, which I mean in the best possible way.  I'll also say upfront that this issue merits a second read as Johnson drops us into the story in media res.

We begin with Spike finding Sparkplug at the VFW hall, where he's been drinking since noon.  Danny the bartender provides that last bit of information to Spike, pissing off Sparkplug and making it clear that folks are worried about him.  Sparkplug is even more annoyed when he sees Spike with "Jimmy's" telescope, telling him it's best to "forget all that."  "All that" is clearly the fact that Spike's brother Jimmy was an astronaut who died when his space shuttle exploded, an image we see on the first page along with Sparkplug's war memories and Optimus Prime's lifeless body on the Ark as it plummets to earth.

Sparkplug and Spike's conversation is interrupted when Sparkplug's coworker, Davey, comes to give him a lift to work.  (I'm guessing Sparkplug has a DUI or a few.)  Still annoyed, Sparkplug tells Spike that he has to grow up, and Spike retorts, "...and be like you?"  Oof.  It's hard to see them this way.  

Carly overhears this exchange, waiting for Spike next to her kick-ass van.  As planned, they head up Hanger's Rock as night falls to use Jimmy's telescope to look at the full moon.  Carly is an artist, which we learn when she tells Spike how her dad got her the new airbrush she used to draw the fantasy scene on her van).  Underscoring the tension with Sparkplug, Spike is apparently applying to Berkeley to become an astronaut.  Carly talks about how she and her dad are working to try to make the money happen for art school and, in a lovely moment, takes Spike's hand and says that she wished it was easy for him.

Then we get underway.  An earthquake of sorts happens suddenly, and Carly and Spike fall into a sinkhole.  They crawl to the light to find themselves in one of the Ark's engines.  (One criticism I have here is that I'm not sure how this part happened.  Spike and Carly fall down a vertical shaft but the Ark crashed perpendicularly to the mountain.  So I don't know how they land horizontally if they fell vertically.)  The engine is (oddly) connected directly to the Ark's bridge, where Carlie and Spike stumble upon the non-functioning Transformers.

While looking for an exit, Carlie and Spike are surprised when Jetfire arrives.  (One of the benefits of re-reading the issue is that I caught one of the barflies telling an unbelieving Danny that he saw Jetfire, based on his description.)  Jetfire exposits that he used his remaining power to trigger the earthquake to reveal the Ark and then enters a data disc, which looks like a VHS tape, into Teletraan One.  

The disc clearly contains Earth vehicle forms, and Jetfire first resurrects his old friend Starscream, who immediately blasts Bumblebee in the face.  Jetfire is appalled, and Starscream informs him that they've been at war with the Autobots for a century.  Meanwhile, Teletraan is now randomly resurrecting Transformers, and Optimus awakens.  Meanwhile, Starscream shoots Jetfire.  Pointing to an Autobot insignia and sounding like a Nazi, Starscream says that it's the sign of "true evil" and they must be "vigilant in wiping it out."

Optimus then punches him, shouting, "Never."  He tells Starscream that he thought he was a warrior, not someone who'd shoot helpless beings (like Bumblebee).  Starscream retorts that he does whatever it takes and launches himself at Optimus.  Carly and Spike make a break for it, though Optimus sees them.  Spike introduces himself (yes, in the middle of the fight) and Optimus shields them as Starscream opens fire.  Ratchet and Skywarp, now revived, join the fray.  Starscream orders Skywarp to bring Decepticons in front of Teletraan's ray, and Optimus orders Ratchet to load the Autobot's bodies into his trailer.  Seeing his gun, Optimus goes to work.

Soundwave then awakens (all hail) and opens fire.  Prime stumbles upon Bumblebee's body and cradles it in mourning as Spike watches.  Starscream ridicules him for mourning the weakest Autobot, and Soundwave dispatches Ravage as Optimus reaches for his gun.  Spike bolts to push it toward him even though Carly, who helps, thinks he's nuts.  With the gun, Optimus shoots Ravage and engages in fisticuffs with Starscream and Skywarp as Teletraan rebuilds Thundercracker and (yes!) Reflector.  With little choice, Optimus destroys Teletraan.  Optimus then runs like he's in a, well, Michael Bay movie, cradling Carly and Spike with fire billowing behind him.  

With all the Auotbots loaded, Optimus and Ratchet transform and burn rubber with the Seekers in pursuit.  A weakened Jetfire transforms to help Optimus, engaging the Seekers in battle.  Skywarp tells Starscream that his energon's too low to fight, but Starscream correctly notes they've never been so close to ending the Autobots for good.  But he admits in a fury they can't continue.

Spike directs the Autobots to the old quarry, and a dying Jetfire apologizes that he didn't know Optimus was the new prime.  Optimus goes to use the Matrix to heal him (fascinating), but Ratchet stops him, saying Jetfire is too far gone.  Jetfire rues the fact that he spent centuries searching for a way to heal Cybertron (interesting) and asks if Cybertron has any hope.  Optimus admits he doesn't know, and a devastated Jetfire dies lamenting that "everything will die."  Oof. 

At the Ark, Soundwave tells an irate Starscream that he can't fix Teletraan without more energon and raw materials.  That said, Laserbeak found the kind of fuel they need to create energon, and Skywarp and Soundwave tell him he has to retrieve it because he has the most energon.  Soundwave begins saying, "It's what Megatron would've done," but Starscream cuts off the sentence at "Meg--," reminding them that he's the Decepticon's leader.

At an oil rig, Davey tries to intervene with Sparkplug, telling him that Spike needs him.  Sparkplug is furious, telling him that he doesn't understand.  As Sparkplug tells Davey to keep his "naive opinions to himself," Starscream attacks, complaining about how he's tired, too, and pissed he has to get the energon himself.  (It's pretty hilarious.  It's like a workplace comedy.)  Davey runs for his car, but Starscream grabs him and Sparkplug watches as he crushes him to a pulp.  We end the issue with a bloodsplattered Starscream laughing about the pathetic humans.

In other words, it's great.  Johnson's art is as kinetic as his script.  Honestly, if we only got these issues every two months to give him time to deliver this sort of performance, I would be totally fine by that.  This issue alone reinvigorates the Transformers, giving us the type of story that I haven't seen since the original.  Also, as someone who broke his Optimus Prime's leg as an elementary school student, I am so fucking right there with Johnson.  RIP Optimus.