Wednesday, August 7, 2024

Eight-Month-Old Comics!: The November 15 Top-Shelf Edition (HERE BE SPOILERS!)

Dungeons & Dragons:  Fortune Finder #1:  This issue is...not good.  

As a long-time "Forgotten Realms" fan, I'm pretty sure Finder is Finder Wyvernspur from the "Azure Bonds" trilogy.  But Finder doesn't know that here, as he's arrived in the extraplanar city of Sigil with amnesia.  After escaping a precarious situation in an inn, he lucks upon Notitia Never-Lost, a "planar" who spends most of the issue expositing the "Planescapes:  Adventures in the Multiverse" sourcebook upon which this series is based.  A figure appears at the end demanding "the shard," which I'm assuming is the Finder's Stone?

At any rate, nothing Zub does here makes me care, about Finder or the plot.  Given my backlog, I'm going to bail here and call it a day.

G.I. Joe:  A Real American Hero #301:  Like Chris Moneyham, I wasn't a huge "G.I. Joe" fan in the '80s.  

I mean, I was a fan, obviously, but "Transformers" was my drug of choice.  My "G.I. Joe" involvement came mostly from the cartoon; to the extent I read the comics, they were the issues Macy's and Sears included in their annual holiday catalogues' grab-bags.  

In other words, you don't start reading a series with issue #301 and expect that you're going to follow the story as if you started with issue #1.  Thankfully, it's an action-oriented issue that isn't too hard to follow

Wild Bill and Duke are piloting a C-130 over Cobra Island, with Clutch, Cover Girl, Helix, Jinx, Multo, Muskrat, and Roadblock in the cargo bay.  Before the issue begins, a Cobra "jet pack missile" cut a hydraulic line, so the C-130 is losing altitude fast.  In Dr. Mindbender's lab on the island, Serpentor Khan activates Dr. Mindbender's "mutant virus bomb," which will turn him and the islands' inhabitants - including the civilians at the Cobra Casino - into "cannibalistic monsters."  Khan argues to an outraged Dr. Mindbender that it's better than "capture and humiliation."  

Meanwhile, a separate group of Joes are preparing to invade the lab via the Whale, an amphibious vehicle.  But they realize the C-130 is heading right at them so Cutter, the Whale's pilot, bails to avoid the C-130 crashing into them.  On the C-130, Wild Bill tells Duke they have to wait for the centrifugal force from their spin to push sufficient fluid into the wings, which will build up enough pressure for him to pull the C-13o from its dive.  As Wild Bill rights the plane, Cover Girl relays to the Joes that Cobra's internal comms network is berserk with news about the bomb.

It's here where we start picking up pieces from whatever continuity occurred previously.  As Cutter high tails it from the island as fast as possible, he tells Laura, a woman with an eye patch and a Cobra insignia on her uniform, to take Cobra Commander, who is apparently on the Whale, below decks.  Meanwhile, the C-130 approaches the "Cobra cruise ship" (I love that they've diversified into casinos and cruises) where "Revanche" evacuated its modified "B.A.T.s" ("highly weaponized androids"), who promptly open fire on the C-130.  On the Whale, Cobra Commander calls Laura and a bandaged man "traitorous siegies," which I don't understand at all but I'm assuming long-time readers will.

After Bill evades the B.A.T.s' attack, B.A.T. Beta-256 contacts Revanche's Alpha-001 to alert him that someone activated Dr. Mindbender's weapon.  Alpha-001 tells her to evacuate to Baton Rouge.  (The ship is heading to New Orleans.)  Meanwhile, Wild Bill tells the team that he's trying to get them to the Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base in New Orleans but wants to check on the Whale first, but Cover Girl tells him about the bomb and that Cutter is trying to get the Whale as far from the island as possible.  

On the Whale, Cobra Commander punches Laura, and she apologizes to the bandaged guy, named Wade, for forgetting how fast Cobra Commander can be.  (I think handcuffs might've been appropriate here.)  Cobra Commander grabs Laura's gun and orders Wade to move Laura off the jet sled so he can escape; when Wade lunges at him, Cobra Commander shoots him.  Cobra Commander bails via the jet sled and heads back to Cobra Island.  Stalker and someone named Sean Collins (who I originally thought was Snake-Eyes) follow the sound of the shot and find Laura cradling Wade's body.  (Wade is apparently Sean's dad.)  Stalker tells Sean they have to focus on cranking up the escape ramp that Cobra Commander used in order to keep the Whale from sinking.  (With the ramp extended, Cutter struggles to get the Whale to maximum speed to escape the bomb.)

As Bill orders the crew to jettison weight, the bomb explodes, and Cobra Commander hightails it in the other direction.  On the island, Khan and Dr. Mindbender, along with the Island's other inhabitants, are indeed zombies but, at least in Khan and Dr. Mindbender's case, retain their faculties.  At the Joint Naval Base, Cutter says that he hopes they didn't miss "it," though someone says that Cover Girl told them that they'd wait for them.  They then escort out Wade's body.  (Given Cutter was on the ship with Wade's body, I don't understand what he was worried they were going to miss.)

In other words, I was happy with the issue, but I was also confused at certain points.  I didn't help that we had moments where I wasn't sure if Hana is using military speak or just terrible English (which often goes hand-in-hand).  For example, someone says,"we will combat assault in bonding overwatch."  At any rate, though, it's a good start, so I'm here for the long haul.

Star Wars:  Dark Droids #4:  Soule avoids dragging out this story too long as he makes it clear we're entering the endgame.

The Scourge is clearly losing it, so he creates four other personas to process the large amount of information he now contains:  the Child, the Elder, the Scholar, and the Warrior.  This council faces an immediate threat, as the Empire orders the Imps to start taking out any droid exhibiting suspicious activity.  (Soule underscores how little humans think of droids as we see countless droids expressing concern and fear as their masters carelessly destroy them.)  The council can't afford to lose so many potential hosts as they have to take over the "meat" before they ("the meat") realize what they (the droids) are planning.  

The Elder informs us that it's the third time the droids have tried to take over the meat, with the two previous attempts failing.  The Scholar suggests the Spark Eternal (I don't really remember how its existence fits in here) has changed old patterns, as he believes their coopting of the hybroids is a significant step.  He also mentions their agents across the galaxy continue to research how to break the barrier between droid and organic.  The Child suggests they might not be doing the right thing, though the Scholar again counters with the hunger argument that we've previously heard.  

The overtaxed Scourge stresses that they need more resources (i.e., the meat's minds) to process the gestalt he's become.  He makes it clear that he's grappling with managing the information the hybroids bring to the table, given they think and talk in an entirely different way.  The Scourge asks the Council if he's doing OK, and the Elder tells him that he has to pull himself together.  We learn that the council has sent Lobot, Valance, and the woman I don't recognize to take over the galactic relay hub on Epikonia so they no longer have to encounter a droid directly to possess it.  

Meanwhile, the Child gets the rest of the Council to focus on the fact that Ajax, and not humans, sent himself and his allies to attack Scourge One.  Speaking of Ajax, he's grief stricken over the loss of his allies, but Artoo and the new D-Squad of 4-LOM, BT-1, IG-88, QT-KT, and Triple-Zero arrive.  Ajax is thrilled other Visioned exist and agrees to help them take on the Scourge.

The council meets again, and the Scourge agrees with the Child that he doesn't want to continue anymore.  We learn that he put the Spark Eternal's "personality," if you will, in the Elder's body.  I don't totally follow that, though, because if the Scourge isn't the Spark Eternal then who is he?  Is he distinct from the Spark Eternal?  Or is he becoming a different entity after offloading the Spark Eternal into a distinct body?  At any rate, it seems academic, because the Scourge destroys the Elder's body but then speaks as if the Elder has taken control over his (the Scourge's) body.

In other words, some aspects of this story are confusing, particularly as it spins across several series, but Soule does a solid job of keeping the main story's stakes clear.

Star Wars:  Visions - Peach Momoko #1:  Although I appreciate Peach Momoko's art, I'm always on the fence whether I appreciate her storytelling.  

Without the dramatis personae at the issue's start, I'm not sure I'd understand that Kako was seeking some sort of revenge against Ankok.  That said, I'm still not sure what is driving her need for revenge.  I think Kako lost family in one of the rituals that Ankok's messenger, Tata, conducts, but I'm not actually sure.  After all, it isn't clear that the people who commune with Ankok - via creepy tentacles inserting themselves into their mouths - die.

For these sorts of wordless stories to work, the creator needs to make the plot absolutely clear, which Momokoko doesn't do here.  It's a shame given how beautiful the art is.

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